“Are you sure using this for the trip will be… safe?”
Twilight had probably meant to make it a statement somehow and not a question, but the pitch of her voice was undeniable; the purple girl was nervous as she looked over Sunset’s motorcycle, and she’d given it away despite her best attempts. Muffling a laugh behind her hand, the redhead paused in the last minute check up she’d been giving her bike and draped herself over it, watching her girlfriend with amused cyan eyes.
“That hurts, princess,” she said. “That’s hurtful.”
“It’s a genuine question!” Twilight yelped, holding up both hands in a sign of peace. “I-I mean, no offense, Sunset, I’m sure you handle this well—and it looks like you keep it in wonderful condition, like whoa, I think you’d make your Rainbow Dash jealous if you two ever compared rides—but I’ve seen your cars. They have more, um… padding?”
An eyebrow arched. “Twilight. Babe. Love of my life. You fly on your own in Equestria all the time. How is that safe?”
“Not… all the time. Sometimes I have…. Guards. And a carriage! That’s always nice.” There was a moment, dark violet eyes narrowing as she turned the thought over and winced. “I don’t need the carriage or the guards, mind you, so I usually fly by myself most of the time...”
“Exactly. You trust yourself better than you trust someone else doing it for you, and that’s totally okay. I’m a pro with this bike, don’t worry. I wouldn’t suggest using it otherwise.” Sunset paused, then shrugged. “Plus, I don’t have a car. Gotta work with what you have.”
It was Twilight’s turn to lift an eyebrow, now. “You just don’t want to ask one of the girls to borrow theirs.”
“Trust me, you’re going to love it.” Sunset pushed off the bike and soundly ignored that last comment, making the princess chuckle in resigned amusement. “This will be better for the trip, anyway. Won’t take up as much space or use as much gas. More freedom.”
Twilight finally stepped closer to the motorcycle as her girlfriend grabbed their bags, absently running her hand over it. “I still don’t understand the point of this, exactly.”
“You said you wanted to see more of the human world. Can’t show you everything on a road trip, but...” Sunset shrugged. “I figured we could get going, I could show you the camp grounds first and we could go from there. You have all weekend, right?”
“Barring some sudden emergency, yes.” The book had been carefully tucked into one of the bags just in case, and Twilight had left her friends and Spike in charge of her affairs back in Equestria. Between the group of them, she was pretty sure that she’d at least come back to small fires.
“Then we’ll be fine. We got everything we need this morning, so it’ll just be clear out of Canterlot and on the road until we hit Everfree.” Sunset grinned at her as she tossed her one of the bags; Twilight caught it easily with one hand. “I might be able to show you the city before we have to go back.”
The princess blinked, adjusting the weight of her bag. “Will it be anything like the cities in Equestria?”
Sunset paused to consider that, summoning up what she could remember of Equestrian cities; she’d be the first to admit now that she hadn’t been to many of them, before she’d left for the human world. “You’d know better than me,” she finally admitted sheepishly. “I rarely left Canterlot.”
“Ha! Joke’s on you, without Celestia’s insistence I never would have left Canterlot either!”
She kissed her, if only because she loved the victorious smirk that curved the princess’s lips at that declaration. “You’re adorable.”
“True.” Twilight’s smirk had become a goofy smile. “Also, possibly delaying a little bit because your motorcycle scares me. No offense.”
“None taken, I know how it looks. But you want to know the best part about it instead of driving a car?”
“What?”
It was Sunset’s turn to smirk, now. “You can hold on to me as tightly as you want the whole time.”
“…. Really now,” Twilight murmured, adjusting her bag on her shoulder as she considered this new information.
“It’s true.” She gave her another kiss. “Now come on, princess. I want to get to Camp Everfree at least before lunch, that way we can relax a bit and do some exploring. There’s a couple of places out there I know you’re going to love.”
If Twilight was being honest with herself, she could admit a few things. Not out loud, at least not right now; she didn’t think she’d be able to talk even if she wanted to, holding on to Sunset tightly as they zipped down the road with the wind roaring around them. No, any attempt she made to talk would be snatched away unheard from her mouth. There was no point to it. That said, of course, nothing stopped her from admitting a few things to herself privately.
She could, for example, admit to herself that her girlfriend’s bike was still a little bit scary. She could certainly see the appeal of it, now that she had been riding it for awhile—having her arms wrapped around the redhead’s waist was always a plus in her book, and her hair smelled nice even when it was tied up to keep it from being loose in the wind. That didn’t change the fact that Twilight still felt incredibly exposed with just her clothes and human skin, and she still wasn’t entirely used to the way the machine hummed and rumbled with power underneath her. Sunset’s comparison to her own flying in Equestria may not have been entirely off, she could admit, but it was certainly missing a few key differences. Still, it got the job done and the other girl clearly knew how to handle herself, so there wasn’t much to worry about. She was trying to relax about it.
She could also admit that if nothing else, the whole thing was far more enjoyable because she got to hold on to the former unicorn and breathe her in. That helped with the relaxing part.
And last but not least, Twilight could admit that she hadn’t been entirely truthful when she had reached out to Sunset and asked to spend the weekend with her.
She hadn’t lied either, and that was really the important part: when she had said she was free for the weekend and she wanted to spend it with her girlfriend, that had been entirely true. There had been far too much lately on both sides of the portal keeping them busy; the princess was constantly running between her royal duties and her school, and Celestia’s former student was focusing all of her attention on her year book duties and her rapidly approaching graduation. They made as much time as they could for letters, but visits had been few and far between lately. Twilight very much wanted to have this weekend with Sunset, and she’d pulled quite a few strings in Equestria to get it.
But that hadn’t been her only reason for wanting to come over to the human world. Graduation was fast approaching all of her high school friends, and she’d spoken to all of them enough over the last few weeks—on top of getting other additional, minor updates on all of them through the journal—to know they had a plan for next year when summer ended. Twilight would never claim to fully understand the human education system, but she could follow the idea of it well enough to know what college was.
She could also grasp, through numerous small discussions with Sunset, how difficult it would be for the redhead to actually get into college compared to the rest of her friends. Forging documents and creating a paper trail for high school had been one thing; at least in theory, college wouldn’t be as easy. Twilight wasn’t entirely sure if Sunset even wanted to try, but the whole situation made her more than a little nervous because it all seemed to point to one possible outcome. At the very least, it raised a question.
And that question was, would Sunset be willing to return to Equestria for good once she graduated high school?
She would certainly be able to; that was no longer in doubt. She’d crossed through the portal and become a unicorn again, and she had made up with Celestia. While she still didn’t come back to her homeland as much as she was visited in the human world, she did make occasional trips when Twilight couldn’t afford to come to her, and she had always been comfortable and at ease with things. At most she would only need to catch up with the state of the world compared to how it had been when she’d left, and she had already mostly managed that part just from her few visits.
Sunset could return to Equestria without any problems. If she wanted to was a whole other issue that Twilight was hoping to bring up at some point during their weekend together, preferably when she could get air into her lungs instead of feeling like the wind was constantly stealing it from her.
The purple girl buried her face in the loose strands of mixed red and yellow hair and breathed the scent of her in, trying to focus on that and clear her mind. Suddenly, in comparison to the dread that was freezing her stomach, her nerves about riding a motorcycle seemed small and insignificant.
And that’s stupid! It’s not even a hard question to ask! It doesn’t need to be long, or fancy, or anything like that! All I need to do is say “Hey, Sunset, do you want to come back to Equestria with me after you graduate?” It’s only a few words, I don’t need to make it complicated! I could say it right now, even! She probably wouldn’t hear me, but--
“What was that, Twilight?”
She froze. They weren’t moving anymore. When had they stopped moving? She’d fallen so far into her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed.
“… Huh?” she instead asked, eloquently, her brain having not yet caught up with her mouth.
Sunset glanced at her curiously, easing off her helmet and shaking her hair out properly now that they had stopped. “You were saying something? At least, I thought I heard you say something.”
Maybe this was a sign, really. Maybe this was some unseen force telling her to get it all out now, while they were just getting started on the weekend. Ask it now and get all of it out of the way so she could relax and enjoy the time with the girl she loved, instead of letting it constantly weigh on the back of her mind. It wasn’t a hard question to ask, after all.
“Twilight? Where are you going, babe?”
“I was just thinking,” the princess of friendship blurted out so suddenly that the other girl actually jumped a little bit in surprise.
Sunset’s lips curved into a small, amused smile. “About?” She had tucked her helmet under her arm and had her motorcycle completely parked, leaning against it absently as she waited patiently for the purple-eyed girl to keep going. There was—something in those cyan eyes, something Twilight couldn’t quite read, and it caused the nerves in her stomach to sprout wings and fully transform into butterflies.
“I was just thinking,” she repeated, and as Sunset’s smile grew and became fond, those butterflies suddenly began wielding scythes. “I’ve never been camping before. At least, I haven’t been camping as a human. I guess I was wondering if it’ll be very different from camping as a pony.”
That… had not been what she had wanted to ask, even though the traitorous butterflies were starting to calm down now that she had asked something. Twilight had to resist the urge to groan in frustration.
There was a beat of silence where Sunset just looked at her, their gazes meeting, and for a moment the princess of friendship thought that she was going to say something, or ask something, or—do something, because she seemed oddly unsatisfied by the question she had just heard. And Twilight waited, was waiting, though she didn’t know what she was waiting for.
But the beat passed, or it never became a moment where one of then could do something. She wasn’t sure, but Sunset shook her head and laughed, warm and gentle, and whatever it had been or could have been was gone. “Okay, first of all, you’ve been holding out on me,” she said. “I had no idea that you’d been camping before, so I was thinking this could be a fun little surprise.”
“It’ll still be a fun surprise! I’ve never gone camping as a human. It counts! Kind of!”
“Second of all, yeah, it’s going to be different. No magic, for one thing. But don’t worry, Camp Everfree is a pretty good place to get started. I know Gloriosa and Timber Spruce personally, so this should be totally relaxed. We’re right on time for lunch, too.”
Twilight smiled sheepishly. “I wasn’t going to ask, but… yeah. Now that we’ve stopped, I’m starting to get a little hungry.”
Sunset gave a small bow and smiled. “That’s me, the master of perfect timing.”
“Nerd,” Twilight murmured as she grabbed Sunset’s hand and tugged her into a chaste kiss.
“Said the other nerd.”
The princess didn’t ask her question.
Camp Everfree didn’t compare to the Everfree Twilight knew, beyond the fact that it was a forest that shared the name. There was no wild magic, there were no beasts or monsters roaming through the trees (right at this moment, at least), and there were no zebra who liked speaking to other ponies in rhymes. In some ways so many fundamental differences were a relief; she had no magic of her own to call on in the human world if something happened, and it was always nice to get a break from such things. That was the whole reason she was here, of course.
Partially the reason, but she was trying to not think about that after her last failure.
If there was one thing the two Everfrees had in common, it was that they were both beautiful. Twilight could certainly see how a place like this would appeal to humans, even the ones who didn’t go outside often; it was open and sunny, with clearly marked maps and open paths and a small picnic area for anyone who wanted to stop and eat. The lake appeared to be calm, with some boats tied to the docks for what she assumed would be later use.
The camp wasn’t crowded, though she’d been told about its popularity both by Sunset herself and by her human friends before the two of them had left on their little road trip earlier in the morning. A quick chat with Gloriosa and her brother Timber—who, Twilight noticed, was definitely uncomfortable in her presence and so she did her best to keep her distance from him, remembering the awkward fallout of her brief crush on Flash Sentry—had confirmed that they were in something of an in between moment for what they considered the summer season; busy enough to have some campers out and about on the grounds, but not currently hosting any school trips or other camp visits.
“Did you plan this on purpose?” the purple girl finally asked, swallowing a mouthful of the vegetable burger she’d picked up from the camp’s mess hall.
Her girlfriend blinked at her over her own plate before she smiled, all innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, princess.”
Dark purple eyes rolled at that, but Twilight was smiling and she couldn’t help it. “You planned this on purpose,” she said. “You knew you’d have me here during a time the visits would be low.”
“I’m not going to confirm or deny that, you know.”
“You don’t need to, I can already guess.” She nibbled at the rest of her burger, glancing around the camp grounds. “Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I know we’re only here for today, so...”
Sunset smiled sheepishly, a small slip. “If it was longer than this weekend I would have brought you when it was busier. I think you’d like seeing all of the people here, and Gloriosa and Timber handle it very well.”
Twilight waved a hand. “There’s always next time,” she said. “This won’t be my last trip to the human world, after all. I can come back, and you can show me then.”
Too late she realized how that sounded, what it implied—if she had been able to, she would have snatched the words out of the air and shoved them back into her mouth. It wouldn’t have been the most graceful thing for anyone to see, but it somehow would have felt less awkward than having those words hanging between them.
Or maybe it was just all in her head, because the thought of another visit made Sunset smile again. Beam, really, something wide and bright. “That would be nice,” she replied. “There’s still a lot of time. You can reach out to me when you get another moment to yourself and let me know what works for you.”
That response left her in a weird state of limbo; unsure if Sunset had caught the awkwardness of what she’d said and was deflecting the implication to keep her comfortable, or if the whole thing had been entirely imagined on Twilight’s part. Maybe it was all in her head. Maybe she was overthinking a few simple statements.
Maybe she should just ask before the thing ate away at her brain. Keeping it to herself was clearly doing her no favors, regardless of her nerves.
“Actually, Sunset,” she began, wanting to follow up on this surge of certainty and courage before it abandoned her entirely again. “Speaking of, um, visiting the human world in the future.”
Cyan eyes had turned away from her for a moment to look out across the lake, at some people that had decided they wanted to take the boats out after all. At the sound of her girlfriend’s voice, though, the redhead’s gaze returned to her, and she immediately had her full attention. “Yeah? What’s up, princess?”
Again, there was something there in her eyes. Twilight definitely knew she wasn’t imagining it, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what it was supposed to mean. But this was the second time now she’d seen that shift in the other girl’s eyes, like she was waiting for something or hoping for something. And a small, not so quiet part of the princess was beginning to wish that whatever Sunset had on her mind, she would come out and say it already. It would make her life immensely easier. At least she thought so. She’d feel a little less like she was fumbling around in the dark, if nothing else.
“Well, I was thinking, you know. About what I just said, about the… the visits. I’m repeating myself,” Twilight murmured, more to herself than anyone else. “But I was thinking about those visits and, well...”
Sunset rested her elbow on the table, absently resting her chin in the palm of her hand as she waited for her girlfriend to continue her train of thought. Her free hand ignored what remained of her lunch in favor of sneaking under the table; how she’d known Twilight was playing with her hands there while she talked was a mystery for the ages, but she knew somehow regardless. Her hand found its way between Twilight’s, warm and soft, and the princess of friendship felt herself relaxing instantly at the sensation. Without even thinking about it, she pressed their palms together and twined their fingers tightly, giving a gentle squeeze.
“I was thinking,” the words came out as a sigh, “I can definitely make time for more visits. It’ll take some work, but I’ll find a way.”
That…
That hadn’t been what she’d wanted to say. At all. That hadn’t even been a question! It had been a statement of fact, based off of something she knew she could do! By the sun and stars, why was this so hard? It wasn’t a difficult question! There weren’t a lot of words! All she had to do was ask! The thought was in her mind, the words were always right on her lips! They just wouldn’t come for some reason.
You’re an idiot, Princess Twilight Sparkle, her mind decided to helpfully add to the spiral of other pleasant thoughts.
Thanks, brain, like I didn’t already know that.
If she’d actually been paying attention instead of arguing with herself, Twilight would have noticed how Sunset’s eyes flickered again for a moment after that statement; how she seemed to turn it over in her head, seemed to consider something herself before deciding to hold back for now. But since she was busy having an argument with her own brain, she didn’t notice this at all, and in fact only snapped back to herself when the former unicorn gave her hand a squeeze.
That shock of warmth traveling from her hand up her arm and into her chest was a good distraction from her traitorous mind, at least. Her eyes snapped up—they had lowered briefly while she was lost in her thoughts—and sharpened, focusing as the other girl started speaking.
“You always do.” Her tone was light, amused. “Don’t stress yourself out about it too much though, yeah? We still have plenty of time. There’s no rush.”
Well, that’s just an outright lie, Twilight’s brain whispered. The thought made the purple girl swallow and she gave Sunset’s hand another squeeze under the table, leaning forward. After a moment, she gently pulled back from the grasp, resting her arms on the table; the tan girl followed her example, curious, and smiled slightly when the princess took her hand and absently brought her fingers to her lips.
It wasn’t a total lie, she reasoned. Not really. Sure, she had to go back to Equestria after this weekend and there was no way around that fact, but they still had until Sunset’s graduation at the very least. And there was still the summer, assuming that she hadn’t applied to one of the human colleges and wouldn’t be leaving before the fall—funny, she’d never even thought to ask her about that. Even then, they still had a good chunk of the summer before going away to college became an issue. Twilight vaguely recalled hearing from her friends that most colleges started back up during the last month of summer.
And… well. She really needed to ask if Sunset had actually applied for any college. Because if she had, that sort of resolved the issue itself for a little bit longer, at least in terms of their relationship. They would just keep doing what they had been doing until she graduated again. And when she graduated then, well…
Well what? Her mind was going again. It hadn’t slowed down, even now. So what if she graduates from college? It doesn’t compare to anything you could give her in Equestria, and you know it. Deep down I bet she knows it, too.
And suddenly, between the creeping darkness of her mind and the ice forming in her stomach, Twilight realized why she kept choking on her words. Suddenly, she realized why such a simple question was so difficult to ask.
She didn’t know quite how to handle the revelation. Maybe giving it time would be the best decision—let her really mull over what this meant and how to approach it, at least for a little bit longer. She’d already delayed this long already because she hadn’t known what her problem was. There didn’t seem to be any harm in delaying yet again now that she knew the problem and now didn’t know how to address it. Yet.
Hopefully she would, soon, or this was going to be a long weekend in quite a few ways. Until then, though…
“So.” Twilight smiled, even though a part of her didn’t feel very much like smiling anymore.“Now that we’re at Everfree, you said you wanted to show me something while we were here?” The small eating area was beginning to clear out around them, a sign that lunch was coming to an end as well. They could probably linger for longer if they really wanted to, but who came all the way to camp grounds to hang out in the area people ate food?
Sunset chuckled. “You sure I brought you here to show you something? Maybe I just wanna sit here and enjoy the view for a little bit.”
“It is pretty, isn’t it?” Twilight turned somewhat for a better view of the forest and the lake. “I’m not sure if it’s something you want to stare at for hours though, Sunset.”
“You never know. I could really love nature.”
“You could. I know for a fact that you don’t. You spent hours indoors helping me refile the restricted section of the library, remember? I think by the time we finally finished all of it and left, it was dark.”
“It took us several days, actually, so yeah, I remember.” Sunset grinned, all charm and innocence. “I enjoyed the view then too, so I didn’t complain about it even once.”
“I will admit seeing so many books was a lot of fun, but...” The princess of friendship frowned. “I mean, you’re not me, so I’m not sure how that would have been enjoyable for several days unless… oh.” She laughed sheepishly. “Me.”
“Yep. You were there.”
“And I’m here right now, huh.”
“Yep. So again, I’m sitting here and enjoying the view. You look good outdoors.”
“Okay, okay.” Twilight leaned over the table, muffling her laugh with Sunset’s lips. “Let’s go before someone complains about us being sappy.”
The smile that curved the redhead’s lips was entirely too innocent. “I don’t think that’s something we have to worry about, princess. I hear there are lots of pine trees in this area. Plenty of sap to go around without the two of us adding to it.”
“That’s awful. You’re awful. I’m not kissing you again because of that.”
Sunset pouted.
Twilight shook her head. “No! You brought it on yourself with that statement. And you know how distracting you are to me sometimes.”
“I keep telling you that isn’t my fault.”
“You do it on purpose. Now come on.” Because she was horrible at sticking to her word—and Sunset was still pouting, she really needed to work on her willpower when it came to that, she figured by now she’d be immune to the sight—Twilight leaned in again and gave her girlfriend another kiss, and ignored the muffled laughed against her lips.
Because she still had some pride, small as it was, she at least managed to keep the kiss chaste and short.
“Come on,” she repeated softly. “You said you had something you wanted to show me when we got here, remember?”
“You know, you complain about me distracting you, but you do it to me just as often.” Sunset rolled her shoulders easily, scooping up their garbage and tossing it away into one of the available bins. It was hard to take her words to heart when she was smiling.
“Fair’s fair, love.”
That got a laugh out of her. “I’m not even going to try and argue that. And besides, you’re right. There’s somewhere I want to take you, and we don’t have a lot of time left in the day.”
That made the princess of friendship frown curiously, baffled. “It’s only a little after lunch, Sunset.”
“I know, but trust me, we’re going to be going out a ways. This is one of the longer paths they have at camp, and they don’t usually offer it to the schools that come here. I only found it by accident when that whole thing with Gaia Everfree was going on.”
Twilight blinked and took a moment to consider this new information, turning all of the pieces over in her head and connecting them to form a puzzle.
“… Is this trail safe?” she asked at least. She seemed to be asking that question more than she liked, ever since she had learned they would be going to the camp on Sunset’s motorcycle. Sure, that had turned out reasonably enjoyable, but it didn’t hurt to be cautious about situations and experiences she hadn’t gone through yet.
Especially considering some of the experiences and situations she had gone through.
“The trail itself? Oh yeah, it’s totally safe. Like I said, the only real noteworthy thing about it is that it’s one of their longer trails and it goes further out than the others do. Most people don’t even bother to hike it because of the distance, at least during the trips in the spring and the summer.” Sunset paused as she considered something, then shrugged. “No idea if it’s more popular beyond that.”
“So it’s just… long?”
“Pretty much. It should be fine though, it’s not too hot and the branches keep it pretty cool.”
Well. That didn’t sound too bad, at least. And if nothing else, the walk would give Twilight more time to turn over the question she wanted to ask, and to decide the best way of approaching how to ask it.
In many ways, hiking as a human wasn’t terribly different from hiking as a pony. It was slower on two legs than it was on four, and there was a little more exhaustion focused on the shoulders because of how backpacks were designed with their straps. And of course, obviously, there was no magic involved—at the very least, Twilight didn’t have any magic she could immediately call on while she was in the human world. So really, the fundamental difference so far seemed to be the generally slower pace and the lack of magic. Hiking, it seemed, remained the same regardless of the species of the one doing the hiking.
And since Twilight didn’t know where they were going—it was the one thing Sunset insisted on keeping a secret, and she was willing to indulge it since it seemed to really matter to her—she spent her time not on imagining the place they were going to, but turning over the problem in her head that had recently presented itself.
Thanks for that, brain. Always appreciate the self-doubt.
Of course, now that she was thinking about it, the whole problem seemed so obvious. It wasn’t that she didn’t know what to say at all; she had the words, she knew the message she wanted to convey. That part was easy. That part wasn’t going to take too long, once she got going.
No, the issue wasn’t the question itself. The issue was that she didn’t know how to phrase it as a question when, the more she thought about it, the more she realized it really wasn’t a question. No matter what Sunset decided now, whether after high school or after college, the issue remained the same: nothing she accomplished in the human world would ever completely compare to what she could accomplish in Equestria, both on her own merits and as Twilight’s romantic and possibly scientific partner. She hadn’t lost touch with her magical roots, was an avid in-field researcher and a tinkerer, and had a unique view of a world few other ponies had seen. All of that alone elevated her to a state she would never be able to match if she stayed as a human.
And her connections to both Twilight as her girlfriend and Celestia as a former student and a daughter figure…
Well.
Sunset could choose to stay in the human world. That was certainly always an option, and it was one that Twilight didn’t want to take away from her if it was truly what she decided was best. It didn’t change the fact, however, that remaining in the human world was ultimately the most limiting option available to the redhead; and that was all assuming that she could stay. Assuming she’d applied for college and had actually gotten in.
She could survive without college, of course. People apparently did that, and even did it fairly often. But again, from what she had listened in on during discussions, getting a job in the human world required at least some form of documentation. It was apparently part of the reason Sunset tended to bounce from job to job when she needed to make money, or managed by doing activities that were considered illegal: she didn’t have the paperwork she needed for an actual job, even without the college degree.
She could stay in the human world. But the more Twilight thought about it, the more she realized it didn’t make sense for her to actually do that. So really, the question she wanted to ask wasn’t a question at all.
And because it wasn’t a question, she suddenly understood why it was so hard to ask. It wasn’t a choice, not really. Even if Sunset chose to stay in the human world now, it would only be delaying the inevitable.
It wasn’t a question, and Twilight didn’t know how to handle that. She didn’t want to force Sunset to do anything.
If it wasn’t a question, then she needed to think of another way to approach it. Simple enough in theory, really. The hike should have theoretically given her enough time, especially since it was at a slower pace than ponies could manage, but…
Well.
Twilight had never been very good at improvising. She liked having a plan, having lists for a reason. Sure, often times things didn’t go to plan, or she ended up not following her list—all of the time, really, if she was being honest with herself—but while she had certainly gotten better at just going with the flow, she found she still didn’t prefer it. Especially when it came to things like this, things that were emotional and personal and had the potential to go very wrong very easily.
But she’d figure something out! She may not have liked improvising, as a method, but she could make it work. It just required some thought, and a little bit of time and patience to work through the problem.
It’s fine. This is fine. Part of the problem’s already been solved! I couldn’t ask the question because in the end it wasn’t a question at all. Simple. Now the question becomes, how do I approach it if I’m not asking? I don’t want to tell her to just come back with me to Equestria, as tempting as that would be. It would definitely be the easiest way to handle this, though. “Move to Equestria!” … Yeah, definitely a tempting thought. Probably not the best way to do it, though. Darn.
“Twilight, babe, you’re talking to yourself again.” The faint hint of amusement in Sunset’s voice was enough to make the princess flush; at least she was used to it and found it charming, for some odd reason. Twilight didn’t see how she could, but she definitely appreciated it regardless.
“Sorry. I’m just thinking to myself, which leads to me arguing with myself, and… you know.” Twilight shrugged, then hastily changed the subject before Sunset could ask. “Anyway, um. I assume we’re at the place you wanted to show me?”
"We are. I was thinking of covering up your eyes as we got closer so you wouldn’t see it first and ruin the surprise, but you getting lost in thought occasionally benefits me.” The redhead gently bumped their hips together with a small smile, and in retaliation the purple girl gave her hair a light tug that made her laugh. “Go on, take a look.”
Twilight chuckled, and for her girlfriend’s sake made a bit of a show of looking. “Well,” she said at last, once she figured she had looked long enough for the both of them, “it’s certainly a very lovely cave. I appreciate coming all this way for you to show it to me. It must mean a lot to you.”
“I’m starting to think I should have covered your eyes, if you were going to be smart about it.” The tan girl grabbed her hand and gently tugged them along, picking up the pace slightly. “What I want to show you is inside. I think you’ll like it.”
“Let me guess. Is this the cave where you found Gaia Everfree?”
“Technically it was the cave where Twilight and I—the other Twilight, obviously—found Gloriosa, who was becoming Gaia Everfree thanks to Equestrian magic.”
“Close enough.”
“Right, okay.” Sunset paused in the entrance, glancing back. “Close your eyes, I’m not going to trust you getting lost in thought again and I actually want this to be a surprise. I’ve got your hand.”
Twilight smiled, giving said hand a gentle squeeze. “And I trust you.” She closed her eyes immediately after the statement, and the entrance into the cave was too tight for either of them to turn around, but she felt the warm squeeze against her hand, felt Sunset lace their fingers together tightly.
She could still feel a faint breeze at her back and she could hear the sounds of animals moving through the trees, of bird song, so they must not have had to go very deep into the cave in order to fully enter it. At the same time, though, she knew they were definitely underground; she couldn’t feel the sun over her head anymore, and the air around them seemed slightly cooler, seemed to carry just a hint of dampness when she breathed in.
They must not have walked very far either, because only a moment later she heard Sunset stop and bumped gently into her back, making the redhead laugh with surprise. “Hi,” she said.
“Hello.” Twilight swallowed the giggle that was threatening to spill from her lips. “I guess I trusted you a little too much, huh?”
“A little bit, princess. Not really a bad thing though, don’t worry. I’m still standing.”
“Not a bad thing at all,” the princess of friendship corrected without thinking, if only because the implication that trusting Sunset would ever be a bad thing at this point sat wrong with her.
Her eyes were still closed, since she hadn’t been told to open them yet. She couldn’t see how Sunset reacted to her unthinking statement as a result, but she heard the result; a slightly surprised intake of breath, like someone had been struck suddenly in the stomach. And she definitely felt when the other girl kissed her; it was unexpected but certainly not unwelcome, and she sighed happily into it.
“Okay.” Sunset’s voice was soft when she pulled away. “You can open your eyes now, princess.”
Twilight took a quiet breath and opened her eyes. And once her eyes were open, she simply stared.
It was certainly a gorgeous sight, the inside of the cave. Crystals the same color as her eyes dotted the walls and the ceiling, giving off a gentle violet glow in the darkness. And even though the source of it was long gone, the princess could still sense the Equestrian magic that had once been present; she could feel it dancing across her skin, could taste it in the air every time she took a breath. Normal humans wouldn’t be able to notice it, or perhaps they would simply say that the place had some kind of feeling in the air, but anyone who had been touched by magic, Equestrian or otherwise, would recognize it for what it was. There weren’t many places in the human world like this cave.
Twilight could take one look at it, stand in it for only a minute, and know immediately why Sunset had wanted to share this spot with her. As a fellow Equestrian, a fellow student of Princess Celestia, the two of them alone truly understood what this cave was.
And yet knowing all that, it said something that even though the cave was beautiful in ways humans couldn’t understand, it still wasn’t the most beautiful thing Twilight was currently looking at. And that was painfully romantic, for both humans and ponies, but it was true.
No, it was Sunset herself that truly made the cave beautiful. The purple glow of the crystals provided a soft contrast to the natural red and gold of her hair, the darkness a contrast to the lightness of her eyes. The magic that they could both feel in the air sparkled along her skin, seeming naturally drawn to her because of her origins as a unicorn. It was probably doing the same thing for Twilight, but if it was, she failed to notice it. A horrific failure as a researcher, but at the moment she really couldn’t bring herself to care.
She was in a cave brimming with Equestrian magic. She should have been all over it; Sunset had clearly expected that, if she had brought the two of them all the way out here to show it to her. And yet all she could do was look at her girlfriend and process the fact that somehow, she was the most beautiful thing in the cave.
Of course you think that, her brain helpfully chose to chime in then. You’re in love with her. You’re completely hopeless.
And of course, Twilight knew that—she’d known that for awhile, that she was in love with Sunset. It wasn’t like it was a secret, or some kind of unspoken thing between them. They loved each other, they were in love with each other, and they were both very open about that fact. This was not a revelation for her.
But that brief thought, the reminder, coupled with the problem that had been haunting her this entire day, was enough to bring a sudden weight crashing down onto Twilight’s shoulders as she realized she couldn’t keep putting this off. She had no good way of bringing it up, but she couldn’t avoid it forever.
She really hated having to improvise.
“I wanted to ask you something, you know,” she murmured, walking over to a column and gently running her hand over some of the crystals jutting from the stone. They felt warm under her hand, giving off a faint pulse. She figured that was an after-effect of being exposed to Equestrian magic.
“Yeah?” Sunset followed after her, curious and clearly pleased that for a moment she had managed to strike Twilight totally silent.
“Yeah. I’ve wanted to ask it since I crossed over, actually. I kept trying to think of a good way to ask it. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to ask it right away, or put it off until the end of the weekend.”
“It must be a really important question, then.”
Twilight chanced a glance in Sunset’s direction, not quite able to read her tone. She didn’t sound nervous or concerned. She was on the other side of the column, absently tracing the veins of crystals beneath the stone, and she seemed completely relaxed. If anything, she sounded amused that it had taken this long for the princess to say something, and… hopeful? Maybe?
Twilight really couldn’t read her tone right now.
“It is. Or it was. I thought it was.” She paused, trying to collect her thoughts as she brushed her hair out of her eyes. “It’s still really important. But I thought about it, and I don’t think that it’s a question anymore. At least, if it is a question, I don’t know how to ask it.”
“Is that why you’ve been so lost in thought today?”
“… Yeah.” It was sheepish. “I might have been arguing with myself a few times while we were traveling.”
“You were.” Sunset glanced around at her and smiled. “It was pretty cute, actually.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Charmer.”
“Doesn’t count when it’s true, princess.” Sunset shifted to rest her hip against the rock column, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched the purple girl examine the crystals. “Have you figured out how you want to ask it, then? Or how to handle it if it’s not a question?”
No, her brain said.
But she had come this far, and the redhead didn’t seem to be nervous or worried about the topic of the conversation. Clearly that was some kind of sign. She’d seemed to be waiting for something all day; maybe she had known this topic was going to come up. Maybe she had been hoping it would.
Twilight kept her gaze firmly focused on the rock and crystals in front of her. She was getting a confidence boost, but it wasn’t enough for her to look Sunset in the eyes yet.
“Not really,” she admitted, and swallowed. “I thought about it a lot, and I still can’t think of the right way to handle it. But I think I should just say it now, and at least get it out.”
She took a deep breath and drew herself up. She didn’t really need to, but the gesture gave her some form of confidence. She kept one hand on the rock column, mostly for support, and shifted her gaze so that dark purple eyes met cyan. She could do this; she was going to finally speak her mind.
She could do this.
“Move to Equestria.”
There was silence between them after that statement, and it dragged on for a moment as Twilight realized what exactly she had just said and processed it.
Smooth, her brain said helpfully.
“Oh stars,” she finally managed to choke out, when said brain decided it wanted to reconnect with her mouth so she could start speaking again. “I-I didn’t mean—I mean, I wanted to get to that point eventually after we talked about it, yes, but I didn’t want to just blurt it out like that--”
Anything Twilight had planned to say—and in true, she really didn’t have any sort of plan on what to say since she had just gone and blurted out what she wanted to say without any tact, and this was why she hated having to improvise—never even got past her lips beyond that initial sputtering, because Sunset surprised her by laughing. It wasn’t a mocking laugh either, or a shocked kind of laughing; it sounded warm, and surprisingly deep, and somehow that shocked her more than any other possible reaction her girlfriend could have had to her words.
“… You aren’t mad?” she finally asked, a little weakly.
“Why would I be mad?” Sunset finally managed to calm down her laughter, though she was still chuckling. “Twilight, is that what you’ve had on your mind all day?”
“… Yes?”
“That’s what you’ve been arguing with yourself about whenever you get lost in thought?”
“Yes! I mean, I was debating if I should even be bringing it up this soon since I know you still haven’t graduated yet and you haven’t really talked about if you’re going to college or not, but it was a pretty important question! When I thought it was a question, anyway.” Twilight groaned, rubbing her eyes. “Now I don’t know what it is.”
“Maybe you’re thinking about it too much, princess?”
“I mean, I might be!” Since Sunset seemed willing to indulge her line of thought, Twilight decided she might as well run with it; she’d already come this far. She pushed off of the column she’d been studying so intently before, crystals entirely forgotten, and began to pace. “But once I started thinking about it, I couldn’t stop, because it’s not a question, really. You know? I mean...”
She took another breath, and began gesturing. “I started thinking about it,” she repeated, “and I realized even if you want to stay here, it’s not ever going to compare to what you could have in Equestria. And I’m not only talking about me, though I’d hope I’d be a big part of that, just… in general. Magic is an actual field of study in Equestria, Sunset. You were, and still are, an incredibly skilled magic user in your own right, and you’ve had experience in a whole other world, something few other ponies can ever claim. You could make a whole career out of that chronicling your experiences, or studying how Equestrian magic impacted you and your friends… you get the point. And even without all of that, you’d still have your connection to Princess Celestia and to me, especially since you made up with Celestia. I guess I’m just saying… it’s not really a question? For me to ask? Because the answer seems clear, when you compare the two.”
Twilight paused, mostly for another breath, but to see if Sunset had anything to add at this point. But the tan girl remained silent, and once she had air in her lungs, she took that as a reason to keep talking. If nothing else, she wanted to at least finish out her point.
“And that makes me feel like I’m forcing you, and I don’t want to do that! I want you to be able to decide what you want to do! I want you to be happy! I just...” She stopped gesturing and brought her hands together, playing with them as she felt the nerves rising in her throat. “I just also want you to be happy with me, and then I end up in that thought loop because I feel like I’m going to be forcing you to do something because of what I want. And I don’t… want to do that.”
She felt drained, in the aftermath of that; the words hung between them like tiny weights, and despite the exhaustion seeping into her bones Twilight felt oddly light. It felt good to finally say all of that, even if it hadn’t been at all in the way she had planned. If she was physically able to, she would have kicked herself; she should have just done all of this in the first place. There was no point in lingering on it now, but the fact that she had kept quiet for so long annoyed her to some small degree.
She wasn’t sure how long the moment lasted, but she was sure when Sunset took a small step closer to her and gently took her hands. She didn’t say anything yet, and her eyes remained focused on the purple hands she held in her own as she gently rubbed her thumbs against her girlfriend’s skin. She was making small, circular motions, and Twilight could slowly but surely feel herself relaxing as it continued. “That feels nice,” she murmured.
Sunset chuckled. “Having hands has benefits sometimes,” she replied. “Feeling better, princess?”
“Yeah.” Twilight sighed. “I really should have said all of that sooner, somehow. I got too caught up in how I was supposed to say it, I guess. It was important, and I didn’t want to mess it up.”
“You didn’t mess anything up, Twilight.” It was gentle, and as if to reinforce her words Sunset brought her fingers to her lips and kissed them gently. “Thought about it a little too much, probably, but you didn’t mess it up. I promise.”
“I figured you’d be used to it by now. I’m always overthinking something, it seems.” Twilight managed a small smile, giving Sunset’s hands a squeeze. “Let me guess. You’ve been waiting for me to bring it up, haven’t you?”
“All day.”
“… Thought so. I could tell something was on your mind every time I started talking, before I went and stuck my foot in my mouth.”
“Yeah. I was waiting for you to bring it up first, seemed like the best option.” The redhead shrugged. “Probably should have said something now, but hindsight.”
“Well, I think we’re past the point of me choking on my foot, at least.” It was a weak joke, but it made Sunset smile, and that made it worth it. “… Want to tell me why you were waiting on me?”
“You were totally honest with me now, right? Only fair that I’m totally honest with you.” Sunset gave a small tug on her hands and Twilight stepped closer obligingly. If physical closeness made it easier for the other girl to talk, she was more than happy to indulge her. She knew the feeling all too well.
“You didn’t ask,” the former unicorn began, “so I’m just going to tell you I didn’t even apply for colleges. I probably could, if I wanted to. It would be harder than getting into Canterlot High was, but you know me. I always find a way when I decide that I want something.”
“I know.” Twilight smiled, lacing their fingers together finally. “I know in a few ways, actually.”
“I’d say you know best, honestly.” That got a shared chuckle from them both, before the redhead took a breath to continue. “So yeah, no college for me. I’m done after high school.”
“… Are you okay with that?” It was so soft that the princess could have sworn she thought it, but she must have said it out loud because something shifted in cyan eyes.
“I love my friends,” she said at last. “I’m always going to love them, I know that. And I have ways to see them, even if I’m not going to college with them. We’ve already talked about it, we’ve discussed some plans. Obviously I would like to stay here until summer ends and they start leaving so I can say goodbye, but after that...”
Sunset trailed off into silence for a moment, and Twilight swallowed. The urge to ask her to keep going was overwhelming, but it was obvious that the other girl was working her way up to it now that she was saying it out loud. She’d been patient all day, waiting for honesty from the princess of friendship; the least she could do was return that same patience.
“I guess I was waiting for you to ask,” the redhead finally said with a small laugh that bordered on watery, “because I didn’t want to feel guilty that I was okay with it. With leaving them. I didn’t want to feel guilty about the fact that I’m… I’m ready to go home, with you.”
“And then I took forever to bring it up because I felt guilty about asking.” The whole situation really was funny, in a twisted sort of way. Twilight would have laughed, but she had to swallow the lump that was back in her throat. “We’re a pair, huh?”
“I like to think it means we’re perfect together.” Sunset finally closed the distance between them entirely and gently bumped their foreheads together, blowing out a quiet breath. “We end up where we want to go eventually.”
“…. Do you feel guilty? Now that you’ve told me all of that.”
“Not as guilty as I expected, honestly. It’s mostly a relief to know you wanted me to come over as much as I wanted to come over.”
“Sunset, I’ve wanted you in Equestria with me for a long time.” She pressed a light kiss to her forehead. “I just wanted you to at least finish high school before I brought it up in any serious capacity.”
“Well, princess.” In the violet light of the cave, bathed in crystals, Sunset’s smile was small but radiant. “I’m finishing high school, and you know what I want and what I plan to do. So what do you have to say?”
Twilight hummed, then closed her eyes for a moment. There wasn’t any reason to do it at this point, but she wanted to soak it in; the sensation of magic sparking across her skin, the warmth of Sunset being so close and the steady sound of her breathing. It was familiar, and it was comforting.
She finally opened her eyes, and she smiled. Finally, she knew exactly what she wanted to ask.
“Sunset.” She squeezed her hands. “Would you like to come back to Equestria with me after you graduate?”
That small smile became a grin, large and bright, and Twilight yelped as she was suddenly spun around and found her back pressed against the stone column she’d been admiring earlier—thankfully, she was pressed against a stony spot that didn’t have any crystals jutting out of it. And then she wasn’t worrying about any of that, because Sunset was kissing her, and it was so warm that she melted into it completely.
When the kiss finally broke, it was only because they desperately needed to breathe. And as saddening as it was for it to end, the fact that Sunset’s grin hadn’t faded even an inch made it worthwhile.
“Yes,” she breathed. “I thought you’d never ask.”