//------------------------------// // Chapter Nineteen, The Whimsical Witch of Even: Little trouble. // Story: Airship Mauled // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Jacky- I liked having a cat for a mother, she always knew how to have fun and only vaguely seemed to have a vitriolic relationship with Captain. My Captain and mom were so much alike at times it kind of gets scary. -Kuril- I just stared at the second wrapped taco that Jade was going to get into as soon as she was finished with the first. I just shook my head silently and continued eating my own food before she started begging me for mine. My kitten was a bit greedy with food and that was understandable, but I had to eat too you know. She’d never beg food off of Jacky or Fizzle, mostly because they couldn’t cook or had issues with cooking. We were all sitting in the corner of a nearby bar, I had Sugar snoozing away in my lap and Jade was talking to Jacky about what we’ve been up to. I’m kind of surprised we managed to sit down and eat somewhere without problems. None of the thestrals around were paying attention to us despite the illusion powder having worn off quite a while ago. Maybe we were so strange that they didn’t want to acknowledge us as being out of the ordinary for this society built into the middle of a mountain. We, of course, weren’t visiting the bar the normal reasons. It was a nice, quaint, clean place to sit down and eat our meal together as a family. Well minus Blade and Daring who were off doing who knows what around here, Blade was technically family by absorption as one of the two main chefs that worked at The Witch’s Fare. I wondered how Fresh Start was doing. -Fresh Start- “Why… why are there so many customers coming in when Kuril is not even here!” She cried as she ran from table to table, she was at least getting help from Arizona, Maries and Grace. -Kuril- Eh, not my problem. “So there are ninjas here?” Jade said brightening up with a smile. “Yes…” Jacky groused out, apparently she was still a bit sour about ninjas. “Are you two seriously going to start that again?” Asked Fizzle before she dove her face into her taco salad. “Girls…” I said in a stern tone, Jade just gave me a flat look and Jacky actually seemed cowed just by saying that. “Finish your food, also do you really want your other taco to get cold by getting into an argument with Jacky?” Jade didn’t have a comeback so we continued to eat in silence. “I traded around to get you a smoke bomb making manual.” I commented idly and Jade gave me an affectionate look, she must really want that manual. “Thanks mom.” Don’t thank me yet kitten. We were still eating after all, who knows what I could do in the next ten minutes? “Not the only things we got, but I figured that would be the thing you wanted to know about the most despite the fact that we got some authentic weapons.” My word were met with excitement, after she swallowed her next bit of food she just had to ask. “Nunchucks?” She asked innocently. “No, no nunchucks Jade. Also those aren’t technically ninja weapons and you know that.” I’m quite sure she did even if they were martial arts weapons. “You’ll see what I picked up for you when we leave. Besides you would have hurt yourself with them.” “Bucket of caltrops?” My silence on the issue was met with a wide smile. “No using them against things that aren’t monsters when you get a hold of them.” I stated sternly and then continued eating. “Would I seriously do something like that mom?” Don’t play innocent with me Jaded, I know what you’re like. “Yes.” I definitely had her pegged, she pouted and went back to her food. “Seriously, you got her a bucket of caltrops? Do you even know what Jade’s been doing these last few days?” Of course Fizzle, I know my daughter well enough to know that she was behind the entire water thing and that you helped her do it too. “The water thing really couldn’t be traced back to you, but it had my kitten’s handiwork written all over it.” I watched Jade duck her head and continue to nibble at her taco. “Okay, just to be clear, we’re not the ones at fault when you eventually give her that bucket.” Why were you so worried about that Fizzle? Sure Jade did a lot of questionable things, but I don’t think she’d ever do something outright evil. “Excuse me.” A nice handsome voice spoke up and we continued eating, but we turned to the thestral. “Oh, hello Mr. Number.” I stated politely before taking another bite out of my round taco. Prime Number was an interesting fellow, he spoke softly and had a heroic vibe about him. “Please, call me Prime.” The bright silver, blue and red thestral stated calmly. “Friend of yours mom?” Jade was just about to get into her second round taco as she threw the last bit of the first into her mouth and practically inhaled it. She gave Prime a once over, then said something odd. “Until all are one?” Prime shivered violently and sent Jade a frightened searching look. What did she say that suddenly had him on edge? “Yeah, I figured that would be your reaction.” She waved him off and bit into the edge of her next circular taco. “Don’t mind me. That was just a shot in the dark.” “An intriguing shot in the dark, one made of nightmares...” Muttered Primed before he turned to me. “These are?” “My daughter Jaded La Perm. She’s knows a lot of things and aside from being a sun priest she’s also a rogue.” I didn’t know what exactly set him off, but now he was sending worried glances towards Jade. Some of the things Jade knows about are at best guesses as to what will happen, the future was a bit iffy thanks to her being around. What we were doing right now was not part of the shows timeline and we were still a year or two off from Princess Luna’s vaunted return as Nightmare Moon. “This is my sweet daughter Fizzlepop Berrytwist La Perm, just call her Fizzle. She only lets Jade call her Fizzy. You’ve already met my cute disaster prone daughter Jacky Blackcap Chickadee La Perm.” “Yes, that was quite painful.” Prime rubbed at a spot on his body where Jacky had accidentally tripped and slammed into him, which naturally sent them both tumbling down a set of stairs. “Hey there, so what did ‘until all are one’ mean to you exactly? Why did Jade saying it cause that kind of reaction?” Fizzle turned to me and gave me a shy gentle smile. “Also thanks mom.” She was thanking me for calling her family, like I would have said the full name of my filly any other way. “It just came to me as a surprise… it’s... nothing to worry about.” Well when you say it that way Prime, it’s definitely something to be very worried about and that’s why my three daughters were giving you a questioning look. “However, I did have a reason for seeking you out personally.” “If it’s about the bozo’s that just walked in, then mom will take care of it and let us finish eating.” Continuing to eat without slowing down, Jade just bit into her circular taco and continued to relax while leaning slightly against Fizzle. There was no sense of worry in my daughters whatsoever and Jade was correct, I would head the problem off in the way all La Perm’s have been dealing with whatever bar we walk into. I calmly stood up and walked towards the five guards. Picking up a chair on my way, I eventually stopped before them. I looked back to see Prime watching me in confusion, Jade just held a thumbs up and continued eating with a smug smirk. “Excuse me gentlemen, but are you looking for a cat and a pony?” Just because they were cultists, that didn’t mean they weren’t people. Sure they weren’t nice people, but I could still be polite and get away with what I was about to do. “Yeah and I see them over there.” The thestral guard stated, he made to move past me and I moved in front of him. Sure there were five thestral guards here, but they wouldn’t last very long. This just wasn’t fair… to them at least. “So a bird, two cats and a broken unicorn walk into a bar all part of a group that happens to be visiting our fair city. You’re group certainly won’t be walking out of here lady, especially not with that pony from EVEN.” “Can’t we all just get along?” I asked in a pleasant manner. “You really wouldn’t want me to throw this chair.” “Just do it already mom and skip to the good part!” Turning to glare at Jade, I waited to see if she would say anything else. She just smiled at me cheerfully, how cheeky of her. “What’s throwing a chair going to do, you can’t possibly hit all of us with that or escape. We got five more guys waiting outside.” Well that’s nice to know random thestral guard. However, I don’t think you brought enough backup to handle just me. “I’m not going to throw it at you. I’m just going to perform an age old tradition, anyone that knows the significance of the chair I’m holding will immediately see what’s about to happen here.” Every thestral who had been here had ignored us up to this point, now all the other bar goers were staring at the chair intently. “Are you a drinker or have you been in many bars before?” “No, but what does that have to do with anything? You can’t possibly think you’re just going to walk away from this.” At his words I turned to look all the thestrals who were looking in my direction. “Pick you’re partners everyone, I call three or more of these guards at least.” I tossed the chair a little more than a foot to my right and it clattered against the floor not touching or hitting anything. “And that was supposed to do wha…” The thestral guard that had watched chair clatter pointlessly to the floor turned back into my left hook striking his temple. He went down too easily. With a twist and continuing my clockwise rotation, I slapped the guard behind him and to his right harshly across the face with a harsh whip of my tail. The momentum of my twisting had put a lot of force into it. The blow to the second guards face sent him stumbling into the third who pushed him away out of reflex, which was a bad move on his part as I was still continuing my rotation to backhand him in the side of his face with the back of my right fist. “Well if we can’t resolve this peacefully, then come at me!” I stated coldly to the two other guards staring at the three companions on the floor in shock. One full twirl and I had knocked down three guards and fighting was already breaking out among the other thestrals in the bar when I heard my daughter yell the classic words for the situation I just started. “Bar fight!” Jade yelled while laughing loudly. -Thirty minutes, fifteen broken chairs, five destroyed tables, ten unconscious guards, fifteen bruised and bloodied smiling patrons, three broken booths and several moderately violent broken glass bottle wounds later.- I had calmly walked back to the table sat down and sipped my grape juice with Prime looking at me with complete amazement. That was fun, didn’t get touched by any of the broken bottles at all and my fur was still immaculate, so I really didn’t need to immediately spruce myself up after that. “If you were coming to warn us about the incoming guards, then that was a poor show of force on their part Prime.” My daughters were still drinking their fruit juices and had already finished their food, they seemed to have taken that fight all in stride. None of my girls really bothered to help me end the bar brawl, but I had issued a challenge and I certainly came out of it with a few hoof shaped bruises. Some of these thestrals really knew how to fight and grapple. There were quite a lot of bits changing hooves, after a moment one of the thestrals approached me and dropped bag of bits into my waiting left hand and I stowed it away. “Nice floor show mom. Always entertaining to watch someone who’s always wearing a robe and looks completely harmless beat the stuffing out of everyone in the room.” Of course you would find the whole scenario amusing Jade, you liked watching or causing bar fights yourself. “To think our Mom never goes to a bar to drink, except maybe for some wine every now and then.” “I always keep myself to two glasses on any given day Jade and no more than that, besides I don’t drink wine anymore. I have to be a responsible parent for a cute daughter, a sweet daughter and the one jerk I actually gave birth to.” I glanced at Jacky, then Fizzle and I lastly turned to Jaded who raised her fruit juice to me in response. “Besides I get enough whine from you already Jade.” “I’ll give you that one mom, no playful banter this time.” Aw, but I liked the playful banter between us Jaded. “Well you’re no fun anymore.” I crossed my arms and leaned back against the booth seating, mocking my angry pout. “Is there a gas leak around here?” Prime finally asked after a few minutes of quiet contemplation while we all relaxed. “Did I just seriously watch her do all that? The thing with the table and then knocking that chair into another chair into someone’s head?” “With me around you’d think so, but no, that did in fact actually happen.” Thanks for warning us that that might become a problem in the future my cute little chick, at least Jacky always told us of the many possibilities where her luck could injure us in a worse way then it usually does. “Mom’s just kind of awesome like that, try to hurt us her precious children… and Jade… then she’ll break out the claws.” “Yes, ‘and Jade’ sounds about right Jacky.” Fizzle smirked a bit in Jade’s direction as she bumped her hoof with Jacky’s fist. “So mean.” Jade whined. “See, she’s absolutely full of whine.” Oh goddesses, I think I went too far. She’s giving me the big glossy kitty eyes in revenge. “Jade, looking innocent is not one of your strong suits. Also it’s disturbing, stop that.” “Fine…. spoil everyone’s fun." Jade sat up and stopped looking at me so pathetically. "Also give me an ace of spades next time.” “All of you are very strange.” Prime stated blandly. “This… this right here…. this is nothing. I’ve been with them for two years now, they can do a lot worse.” Nice vote of confidence in the wrong direction Fizzle. “So… what did you need Prime?” I sat my elbows on the table and steeple my claws in a menacing over the top manner that made him shiver.