You're starting to wonder if this place is the ghetto, trashy side of Equestria.
Unlike you bro, the dragons here are rough, slobby, slow-witted reptilians who, from what you could gather, love to do nothing more than beating the living lizard crap out of each other.
They're like Rainbow, but with no filter or likeability.
Besides the point, the four of you land on the rocky landscape where a few dragons spot the contraption. On cue, Whooves pushes a button that releases four claws that dig into the ground, holding it in place.
[Good call.]
"Spike old bean, do you know where the raritanium is, perchance?" Whooves asks.
"Eh, maybe Ember knows. We'll have to find her." Spike states, scratching his neck.
"And where could she be? There's, like, THOUSANDS of dragons here."
"She mostly hangs out up there." he points. Up ahead is a large mountain with a little throne on top.
There, you notice the large gap between the four of you and said throne filled with fire-happy dragons.
"Come on, let's go!" Spike says.
The giddy dragon turns to see the look of uneasiness in you and the other's faces.
"Don't worry, ponies and dragons are cool with each other so long as Ember's in charge." he assures.
[So what am I, chopped liver?!]
As you all continue down the path, you could practically FEEL the surrounding dragons glancing.
"Are you sure about this, Spike?" Derpy asks nervously.
"Of course, just act natural and be cool. I AM the dragon ambassador after all. These guys love me." he states.
Spike waddles ahead walking past two dragons.
"Hey guys, how's it goin', yo?" he greets, playfully punching one of then in the leg.
Whooves trots past as well, head down. "Um, 'yo' is it?" he mutters.
Soon follows Derpy.
"Yo! We're cool. We're low. We're on the down low. The D.L. Bring it down here, we're lowly bowly rolly polly." she babbles swing her hooves around.
You interrupt the pegasus' cringy greeting, dragging her by the ear. "Hey, how's it goin'?" you say nonchalantly walking past the confused pair.
"I think they liked me. Derpy whispers.
"Keep telling yourself that, DJ D-3RP."
Eventually, you reach the starting road up towards the mountain. It's a tall mountain but the path was short and steady.
"You three wait here. I'll go get her, just...don't anger any dragon." Spike asks.
While the little guy flies upward, the rest of you relax on a sturdy rock slab, watching the daily lives of the dragons.
"I say, the behavior of these dragons are quite-"
A nearby dragon eats a rock and burps a column of flames.
"Eh, interesting. To say the least." Whooves utters.
"Some of them smell kinda funny."
"It'll be fine. We don't mess with them, they won't mess with us."
Out of nowhere, a tall red dragon flies to the ground with two others.
Judging by the gruff appearance of the red one and the blank expressions on the other two's faces, you're going to be-
"Hey, look. More prissy ponies." the red one gags.
-harassed...
"And what are you, some kind of hairless ape?"
[Don't lose your cool, Anon. Don't wanna be burned to a crisp.]
"I-I'm a human, not an ape." you say through gritted teeth.
"Whatever. What are you doing here, planning some pretty pony party?"
His dragon lackeys guffaw at the 'insult'.
Yep. Your typical generic bully.
"Nope, we're here with Spike on private business, so if you could-"
"Pfft, where is the little runt anyway? Heard the puny loser's FINALLY gotten his puny wings."
"His wings are fine, thank you very much. What's your issue with him?" you raise your voice.
"Dragons don't do 'friends', but thanks to the little shrimp, we have to hang out with weirdo ponies like her with the goofy eyes!" he states, pointing at Derpy.
"M-My eyes aren't g-goofy." she whimpers, dejectedly.
[This guy's really bucking askin' for it.]
"I think you owe my friends an apology." you calmly ask.
"So? No little ape tells Garble what to do."
"What's your name again?" you snicker
"Garble. Something funny, wimp?" the jerk dragon asks..
"N-Nothing. It's just......what kinda dragon name is that?!" you say bursting into laughter.
You notice Whooves, Derpy and even Garble's lackeys struggling to contain their laughter.
"I don't see what's so funny! Garble's an awesome name!" he stutters.
"Man, and I thought Toothless was a weird name!"
Soon, everyone was laughing their heads off, pointing at the furious dragon.
"What, did you come up with that name when you were two or someth- OOF!" an angry Garble cuts you off, pushing you to the ground, fire in his eyes.
No pun intended.
"No one makes fun of MY name!" he yells.
As your giggling subsides, you hear a cracking sound coming from your waist. There, you see what you hoped to never see til the day you die:
Your player is damaged.
Anon.exe has stopped working.
"Aww, is the wittle ape gonna cry over a lame box. Not so funny now, huh?" he mocks.
That was the only thing here that kept you sane. The only thing remained after your grandfather's passing, the LAST thing to remember him by...
"It'll be fine, ol' chap. Best to just walk away like everypony." Whooves advises.
"Heh, what a pony-loving loser." Garble says cockily preparing to strike you.
That word, 'loser' echoes through your head, sparking something in your mind. You're suddenly in school back on Earth, on your knees with a bigger kid preparing to attack you before flashing back to reality.
"Y-You know Doc, you're right." you utter.
Whooves nods in agreement.
"But there is one tiny problem with that statement-" you catch the dragon's incoming fist.
"I'm not a pony."
You turn heel and deliver a sickeningly loud punch to your opponent's lower abdomen, sending him flying into a rock pillar.
"I knew this would happen. First the rainbow-haired pony, now this. Never learns." the other dragon lackey says annoyed.
["I'M A MOTHERBUCKING T-REX!!!"]
"Oh, you're gonna regret that."
Garble grabs a large rock and hurls it at you. You throw your fist out, effortlessly reducing the projectile to dust.
Somewhere out there, an Earth pony felt a disturbance in the rock force.
Garble throws another small boulder, you smash it, inching closer and closer to your target. More and more boulders thrown and destroyed again and again, you notice you're putting the jerk dragon at his wits end.
Eventually, you corner him against a pillar, limiting his ammunition.
"I'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA REGRET IT?!" you bellow with pure hatred.
Remembering he's a freaking dragon, Garble belches a flaming ball of fire your way.
"Anon!" Spike calls out.
Fueled by blind rage, with God and anime on your side, you clutch the burning sphere in your grasp and spin at a rapid rate. The searing sensation was barely existent. At your boiling point, you chuck the fireball at the target, creating a humongous mushroom cloud of massive magnitude.
Red.
Everything is red. The only color you see in your eyes, RED. Your hands are on fire, burning up to the elbows.
Right now, you're really pissed off and searching for the target through the smoke and dust of your handiwork.
"Anon?" a voice calls out worriedly.
Turning your attention to the source of the voice, you spot Spike looking around until he sees you.
"Anon, you're alright! Wow, that was amaz-"
You clench your fists, extinguishing the flames in your hands, and tackle the dragon to the ground.
"Waah! A-Anon, it's me, Spike! Your BRO!" he screams.
The blood red in your eyes ease off as you come to your senses.
"S-Spike?" you breathe heavily.
You stagger to your feet, helping the quivering dragon up.
"A-Are you really there?" he stutters.
"I-I think so."
"What happened here?"
"It seems Garble made the wrong guy mad, again. Pretty impressive I must say."
Soon, a light-blue dragon flies in with a crystal scepter. "Don't worry, he'll have some form of punishment." she chuckles.
"Y-You think this is over?" a burnt Garble yelps groggily, trudging towards you. "There's no way I'm l-losing to a lame ape!"
"I thought I told you, I'm not an APE!" you bark, socking the dragon in the jaw.
Kneeling to one knee, you lift him by his fin ear thingy. "Who's the loser?" you whisper.
"M-Me."
Whooves and Derpy soon come into view.
"Apologize." you demand, pointing at the pegasus.
"S-S-Sorry." he whines.
"LOUDER!!!"
"UGH, SORRY!"
"Damn straight."
You slam his face into the ground and walk back to your damaged player.
"Heh, I think that's punishment enough." the light-blue dragon chuckles.
"What did he do to cause thi-" Spike's eyes widen as he sees the fallen device.
Eventually, the infuriated dragon charges at Garble, who flies away in frantic fear. Digging through the wreckage, you find the track was perfectly intact.
"Can it be fixed?" you ask Whooves.
"I honestly don't know, lad. I've made complex contraptions in the past, but not anything like this before. I'll see what I can do." he assures, pocketing the remains in his saddlebag.
You're suddenly approached by the light-blue dragon. "So this is the 'Anon' you were talking about. Dragon Lord Ember, ruler of the Dragon Lands." she greets with a claw.
"Hey."
"Yep. Cool just like I told you." Spike says.
"Remind me to not get on your bad side."
"Yeah, I guess. Let's just get this raritanium and get this over with." you utter halfheartedly.
It's funny how a world of talking mythical creatures could get someone in such an emotional state. Inside of a cave near the Dragon Land's border, the others are extracting the desired metal while you're sulking outside, staring at your Awesome Mix track. Afterwards, Spike and company come through with bags filled with raritanium. According to Whooves, it is one of the lightest metals in Equestria, so carrying it wasn't an issue.
"Well, it was great seeing you all, nice to meet you Anon." Ember says warmly.
You nod with a smile that quickly deteriorates as you all turn to leave.
This is gonna be a long, jamless trip.
