//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8: The Way Home 
// Story: Spoiled Milk Returns 
// by deadpansnarker 
//------------------------------//

By the time Filthy Rich and his little entourage of spa workers left the crumbling interior of the spa, it was already getting dark and the crowd outside had began to disperse before nightfall. 

Among the equines still remaining included Lotus Blossom (whose emotional reunion with Aloe was something to behold), a small group of press ponies and of course, an anxious Diamond Tiara. She was currently being kept company by her best friend Silver Spoon as both fillies waited in earnest for the 'siege' to come to an end, and as her father's head gradually emerged from the building, she couldn't contain her excitement any longer.

"D-Daddy! You're here! A-And you and Mother are safe!" Diamond wasted no time in leaping up and almost magnetically sealing herself to Filthy's midriff. "I-I was so worried when I saw part of the roof cave in, but I was sure if anypony could survive something like that, it would have to be you! After all, who else would you trust to go to your big meeting tomorrow?"

Filthy gazed down lovingly at his only child, as Spoiled snored loudly on his back. "You know me so well, don't you darling? Thank you so much for staying put like I asked you to, and also to Silver for making sure you stayed out of mischief while I was gone. I've never said this to you before, but I always thought she was the most responsible one of the two of you."

"Daddy!!" Diamond grimaced with a blush, whilst her greyish friend chuckled amiably next to her. There was no anger in her voice though, indicating she took the jokey remark in exactly the spirit it was intended.

"Yes, well anyway..." Filthy carried on speaking, whilst giving Diamond a little pat on the head. "Thanks to your clever friend's successful plan, now I just have to drop this precious package I'm carrying upstairs at the mansion and maybe we can relax. There's still plenty to do in terms of clearing up the messes both here and at Rarity's shop, as well as getting your mother the treatment she needs. But as long as we keep a close eye on her from now on, hopefully there won't be any other major emergencies."

Diamond nodded at all this, and looked like she was ready to de-attach herself from her father so they could begin the short trek home, before a sharp nudge from a frowning Silver reminded her of something. "U-Um, Daddy?"

"Yes, what is it, pumpkin?" Filthy asked almost absent-mindedly, as he checked on the status of his slumbering wife.

"W-Well..." Diamond composed herself, before daring to ask the question that was burning on her tongue. "Me and Silv were talking while you were in there rescuing Mother, and she's pretty much up to date on what's happening now. It felt like a big weight off my mind, and I realised it really helped to have somepony to chat to about things properly, besides you. So I was kind of wondering..."

"...Let me guess. You want her to spend the night, is that correct?" Filthy rolled his eyes with a sigh. The last thing he needed right now along with a yokel-ish wife prone to flashes of outrageous behaviour and a crucial business meeting on the horizon was another filly to take care of.

"My parents are out of town right now, attending a big cutlery convention. I have the whole estate to myself, and it gets kind of lonely..." Silver did her best to pull on the heartstrings, as Diamond played her part by looking on with puppy dog eyes. "I promise I won't be a bother, and I'll even help with preparing dinner. It's kind of my 'thing' you know, cooking that is, especially if we're having something pasta-based."

"Fine, you win." Filthy said in abject defeat, to the accompaniment of whoops and hollers from the listening youngsters. "...But I do have a few house rules. No diving into random mountains of money, no rummaging in Spoiled's closet, no using the pool without permission..."

"Daddy, you tell her the same things every time she stays over." Diamond said with a slight smirk, as she finally hopped off her father's torso to rejoin her bestie. "... And we've only done each of those things once. W-Well, maybe the last one twice, but that was only because Silv dropped her glasses in the water and we had to go in to get them."

"Interesting that Randolph told a completely different story, about the aforementioned spectacles being thrown in there on purpose." Filthy gave a glance of mock suspicion at the guilty pair. "But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now. Come on then, let's return before I'm so flat out I can't even find the strength to lift a quill tomorrow, let alone sign the contract worth thousands of jobs."

"U-Um, Daddy wait a second." Diamond pointed with her hoof at a shadow hanging just behind her father. "T-There is just one more thing..."

Wondering what the hold-up could be, a confused Filthy turned his head around to discover... an airborne Rainbow Dash only a nose away, complete with a few other well known members of the Wonderbolts.

"Okay, so it looks like the situation is under control now." Rainbow expressed with relief, observing a tuckered-out Spoiled mumbling something about mouldy yoghurt on Filthy's back. "I have to say, I'm impressed. Did you manage to talk your wife down, or did you have to drag her out?"

"Neither of the above, actually." Filthy remarked casually, as he nodded his head in a certain grey filly's direction. "It was all Silver Spoon's doing, funnily enough. 'Out of the mouths of babes', eh?"

You could've knocked Rainbow down with a feather at that particular moment, and she hovered slack-jawed as the rest of her colleagues couldn't hide their mirth. 

"It looks like that tiny brave Earth Pony managed to do what you couldn't, Crash." Spitfire commented with undisguised amusement. "It's a shame she doesn't have wings, or maybe we'd have offered her your spot on the team. We could've called her 'Silver Streak'! "

"S-Shut up, Captain..." Rainbow directed her ire at the pegasus with the flaming red fur. " ...Unless you want me to tell everypony your 'secret' nickname during basic training! You know, the super-embarrassing one!"

Dash was kidding around of course, but Spitfire obviously didn't think so, and her cheeks turned almost the same colour as the rest of her. "D-Don't you dare! I told you that in the strictest confidence one night after work hours, and it was never to be repeated. Come here this instant, so I can remind you of that fact!"

Then the hugely profession body known as the Wonderbolts, known for their unstinting commitment to upholding only the highest of standards in and out of uniform, seemed to descend into what can only be described as a public brawl. There was a grinning Rainbow being chased through the sky in circles by an irate Spitfire, whilst their other compatriots cheered and hooted their support for whosoever they thought deserved it the most. What an unedifying spectacle.

After witnessing around a minute of this absorbing show, Filthy decided that maybe there could be a better use of their time. "Come on you two, it's time we left." He suggested to his filly companions, who were getting neckache just trying to keep up with proceedings. "Spoiled's drool is starting to stick to my coat, and judging by her weight, I'm not sure that new diet she put herself on is exactly working out."

"O-Okay, Daddy." Diamond reluctantly left the fun up above behind, as she trained her eyes back onto the ground. " 'Sides, if me and Silv are going to finish off a pillow fort before bedtime, we'll have to make a start now."

"That's my girl!" Filthy acknowledged his daughter's cooperation, before noticing Silver still had her gaze glued to the action upwards. "Well, are you coming? We tend not to accept housecalls by eight, you know. No exceptions."

"S-She called me brave. Spitfire, of the W-Wonderbolts..." Silver seemed somewhat starstruck at this moment in time, all outside distractions completely ignored. "I wonder, if I asked nicely, I could get some kind of medal..."

"Hey Silv, have you taken root there? Can we get going please, after all, the battlements aren't going to construct themselves." Diamond was beginning to get impatient, and her voice started to take on a 'no nonsense' kind of tone.

"U-Ulp! Yes Di!" The pink filly's stern words seemed to have the desired effect, as Silver instantaneously quit her daydreaming to gallop and meet the rapidly vanishing trio of Rich's.

Although, her fervent dreams of an illustrious award and lavish after-ceremony afterwards lingered on.

............................................

"W-Why do you have to live so far away? I-I'm exhausted. Phew." Silver Spoon gasped, as though it was Diamond's fault her mansion was located on the other side of Ponyville.

"Well, if you hadn't been following us around like a sneaky snooper for the best part of the day, you wouldn't be so tired right now!" Diamond chided her friend in response, annoyed by her perpetual moaning.

"H-Hey, no fair!" Silver stopped momentarily to catch her breath. "I saw you hitch a ride on Mr Rich for most of the way to the spa! And I had just as much a run-out at that soccer game earlier as you!"

"I wouldn't exactly compare being a star striker to playing in goal, as regards covering the same ground!" Diamond spun around to face the grey filly, a look of triumph evident on her face. "...Unless you count all the occasions you had to pick the ball out of the net, due to my inspirational centre forward play!

"One goal, Di. You scored one goal!" Silver reminded her 'forgetful' friend through gritted teeth. "...And I'm pretty sure even that took a deflection off Truffle's tummy on the way in."

"Pff, sounds like a lame excuse to me!" Diamond retorted, almost egging Silver on. "And we both know I would've scored many more goals if Mother hadn't hit the dirt. Possibly even a cat-trick."

"That's a hat-trick, not a cat-trick!" Silver buried her head in her hooves at Diamond's faux pas. "Maybe you're getting it mixed up with 'The Great And Accident-Prone' Trixie's magic act at the last school charity show, when she made Opal 'disappear'. Poor kitty, fancy spending three days up Zecora's chimney like that! She really needs to work on those transportation spells..."

But Diamond wasn't listening, her attention had been taken away for a moment by her father staring into the distance. "E-Er Daddy, what are you doing? Weren't you the one who said you wanted to get home as soon as possible?"

"Oh, sorry sweetheart!" Filthy apologised, and now Diamond noticed he was positioned directly over a grand view of Sweet Apple Acres. "I was just wondering what my grandparents would've made of this situation. Stinkin' Rich always preferred Spoiled just after we met, while Impossibly Rich certainly liked my future wife more after her 'transformation'. In some ways, we're all to blame for the tragic circumstance she finds herself in now. So much pressure, at such a young age, to go from rags to 'riches' like that, pun not intended. No wonder things didn't exactly turn out as we planned..."

Unfortunately, as inquisitive as Diamond was to discover just what her father meant by these newfound cryptic revelations, her curiosity was going to have to wait.

For at that exact second, Spoiled snapped awake to sniff the air enthusiastically, whilst hopping off of Filthy in the same motion.

"That smell! That bootiful smell! It can only be... a farmyard nearby, cows 'n' all!  Finally, somethin' in this weird dream aye can appreciate! Thanking ya, O great and powerful spirit, for leading me 'ome! Now, everythin' can make a lick o' sense again, and me parents won't 'ave to form a search party to find me! Well, off aye go! All the best to ya, whatever ya name might be!"

And with an unexpected energy boost, Spoiled ran at full pelt towards the Apple's farm, at the kind of speed usually reserved for racetracks. Or Pinkie pursuing somepony who'd dared break one of her patented promises.

In the meantime, all the hapless multi-generational ponies left behind to choke on her dust could manage was an ominous uh oh in close unison, before speeding off to try and prevent any more disasters that fateful day.

So much for a nice, quiet evening.