Trixie returned with branches in her mane and tail, scratches on her body, and a few large bite marks on her butt, to the campsite. She panicked as she didn't see her wagon anywhere. "Starlight! Where's the wagon?"
Starlight emerged from Hoo'far's wagon wearing the most splendid robe. "Oh, that old thing? That generous stallion traded his for it! Can you believe it?"
Trixie fell over and began to hyperventilate on the ground. "N-no I can't! Who said you could do that?!" she yelled squeakily.
Starlight continued to look smug. "I did! It'll solve all our problems."
Trixie began to cry. "Except that now I'm without my...my...my best friend!"
Starlight glared. "Oh, so that run-down old tiny wagon was your best friend? What was I, a fancy sidekick?"
"Well it never traded you away for a better pony, but maybe it should've! I was wrong to bring you!" yelled Trixie.
"Fine, I'm going home with this fancy caravan. Maybe I'll even do my own tricks, since I know how they work and I'm better at magic!" replied Starlight.
Trixie began to shake. "If that's how it is, so be it! The Great and Powerful Trixie will do fine without you!" she said as she grabbed her necessary magic supplies and marched off unsteadily.
Trixie didn't go far before she found her old wagon. She pounded on the door with all her might, and Hoo'far soon came out. "Oh, Miss Powerful, where is your spacious caravan and assistant? I had hoped you two would get along with a better means of transport. What brings you here without them?"
"I'm here to discuss your absolutely improper purchase of my wagon!" she replied.
"Oh, but you see, I provided a wagon of clearly better value, and I'm afraid you had left it with your assistant. She seemed to have the authority to sell it. A fair and legal trade, no?" he said eloquently as he stepped out to the front and hitched the wagon to his back.
Trixie followed, glaring at him as she put herself in the way. "You're not going anywhere until I get my wagon back."
He chuckled. "I can wait as long as it takes."
Trixie laid down and got comfy on the road.
After quite an awkward hour, Trixie's rear broke the silence with a small, squeaky fart. Hoo'far sipped some tea. "That reminds me..." He went to use the toilet, splashing clearly audible through the wagon's thin walls. He came out with the same annoyed expression as ever.
Trixie scoffed, sat up a little, and put on a sly grin. "I could hear you, you know. Perhaps you should give up the wagon to get some privacy."
"Miss Powerful, you are responsible for this lack of privacy, it is on you to get up. Speaking of which, won't you have to go to the bathroom eventually?"
Trixie smirked as telltale splashing could be heard coming from her, accompanied by a growing puddle around her legs. "Aaah."
"I...see..." replied the Saddle Arabian before sipping some tea with a slight look of disgust.
Starlight, meanwhile, ran into her fair share of trouble with one less pony on the way back. Eventually, after narrowly-avoiding a fiery death, she came across the two pegasi from earlier.
"Hey, it's you! Your song inspired us to go rafting together." said the purple one.
"Yeah, the journey is its own reward...especially when we're not delivering letters." said the other. The two went right into the water with smiles and cheers.
Starlight's heart was pretty much shot by a high-caliber bullet. She began racing back.
Back at Trixie, it had been well over a day and Hoo'far was setting up a teapot.
Trixie peed again, and then made a distressed face suddenly and sat up. "Um...Hoo'far..."
"Yes, oh Filthy and Stubborn Trixie?" he asked.
"I need to poop. Like, really badly..." she put on a grin and did her best dramatic Rarity impression. "...I think I'll need the toilet in there, or it'll be everywhere! And I simply couldn't stand to have you within earshot of my...embarrassing act!" she finished the reply with a hoof on her head to indicate how unbearable it'd be.
"Hmmph, nice try, but I think you'll do just fine behind a cactus. I will promise not to move the wagon while you do, as I must go myself anyways. This tea is apparently a laxative..." he replied.
Trixie grimaced and growled a little, then spoke with a grumble of disdain. "Very well, then." She got up and went to the nearest cactus she could see.
Hoo'far retreated into the wagon, abiding by his part of the deal.
Soon after, Starlight came along with the fancier wagon. She heard a plopping noise from within the wagon, but before she could investigate, noticed Trixie grunting and squatting with her rear hidden by a cactus, not far from the road. "Uh, Trixie, are you...?" she said with growing disgust on her face. She tried to look away, but couldn't resist out of morbid curiosity.
Trixie's final sputters and splashes were heard as her expression changed to a dopey look of relief. "Aaah...uh, yes! Could you stop staring? It's making me self-conscious..." She trotted back to in front of the wagon and laid down while Starlight dry-heaved.
Hoo'far stepped out and casually poured the freshly-brewed tea. "Beverage? You must be dehydrated after...that, Miss Stubborn." he said with a slight pang of disgust.
Trixie shook her head. "I'm not dying of thirst quite yet, dysentery takes a few days."
Starlight looked between the two, who both crossed their forehooves. "Okay, what's going on here?"
"Simply getting back what is rightfully mine. What do you care, wagon thief?" she said poignantly.
"I'm afraid that even this gross display has not convinced me to undo the trade, even though my caravan is now here." said Hoo'far.
Starlight stood close. "Trixie, I'm here to say sorry. I shouldn't've sold your wagon without permission. I thought it would solve our problems, but the real problem was that I lost sight of our friendship." She turned to Hoo'far. "Sir, that wagon belongs to my friend."
Hoo'far seemed skeptical. "How do I know you're really friends?"
Trixie huff-growled and grabbed Starlight into a hug. "We're friends, okay. Now can you give me my wagon?"
Hoo'far rubbed his chin. "Hmm..."
Starlight glared. "I just came back from a day and a half of traveling across fire geysers and crocodile-infested swamps and saw her pooping just to say sorry." She put her nose up to his. "Do you believe me, or do I have to break out a cheesy song on your pompous behind?"
Trixie teared up a little. "Aww, Starlight..."
Hoo'far's mouth was agape as he pondered his options. "Very well, I shall undo the trade. This wagon is not exactly the most comfortable anyways; how do you stand that toilet?"
"Well, for a start, you don't dump it on the road while parked like you just did...not that I smell much better." replied Trixie, making both other ponies sniff a bit, go wide-eyed, then cover their noses.
"Right...well, if you may take my advice, I recommend improving your friendship before coming to Saddle Arabia. They aren't prepared for...all this." He gestured to the wagon, then Trixie's dry urine puddle, then to Trixie herself.
"Trixie, when we get to some water, you are taking a bath...no offense." said Starlight.
"None taken." Trixie said.
They both chuckled as they hitched up on the wagon and got back on the road to Ponyville, as well as friendship, and making sure Trixie didn't die of dysentery/dehydration.