It was night time in Poniville, home of Twilight Sparkle (that's the slogan, right? Just kidding). As a custom, this town's citizens had been off to sleep. Not as to displease Luna, the night princess, of course.
Yet there still was one house, in which lights were still on: a library. Not just any library, mind you! That was the Poniville library, home to Twilight... Wait, haven't we seen this one before? Oh, yes, we have!
Perhaps, it is about time to tell, who this Twilight Sparkle was: she was Her Majesty Princess Celestia's best student in Friendships. What? Yes, they had such a subject... Why, since Her Majesty Princess Celestia had decided, in order to prevent her ancient enemy, Nightmare Moon, from establishing a night eternal, to send her very best student to go make some friends! And, long story short, she did make some and decided to stay in Poniville.
So, despite the night time the lights in the library were still on... What?! No, the tale of Twilight defeating Nightmare Moon is a completely other story! Now, please, stop interrupting!
Anyway!
Twilight was in her library, studying. "Phew! Boy, it's night time already? Well... Proceed onward!" That's right, she liked studying. Anything, actually, but mostly magic. Just this morning she found a rather interesting subject to, figuratively speaking, sink her teeth into.
""...therefore reality, as we perceive it, might not be what it seems to be..." How interesting!" She quickly jotted that passage down along with the other important things she had jotted. "It appears, the whole world may be not what we see it as! Oh, I'd better have everything it says about it recapitulated! On the other hoof... It would be a nice idea to get some sleep. Getting up lately becomes all the more unfun thing to do". She chuckled slightly at the word she just used. ""Unfun", huh? Guess, that's what Pinkie might come up with. That's right, Pinkie! Need to see her and to spend some quality time with her! Boy do I need to take a rest from all these books and to relax!"
She put her quill down, then stood up and stretched: "But I must finish this research! Who knows, what incredible possibilities this world may hide!" And so she returned to digging into the subject. The more she studied, the more interesting and more engaging it seemed.
It was well past anypony's bedtime, that Twilight finally got satisfied with what she'd discovered. "A-a-ah! -- she yawned. -- Well, I'm done for today. Or, maybe, it is "for yesterday"? Ha-ha, no time to waste, better be off to bed!" She made to go to bed, but then stopped and stood for a second without moving, as she repeated the very essence of what she'd learnt:
"Reality is all but an illusion... albeit an awfully persistent one".
With these words said she trotted to bed.
And so the night passed. Celestia woke up and raised her sun. The morning began.
The library's door slammed open, and out sprung an eager Twilight: "OK, my dear friends! Here I come!" -- with those words said she was off.
Alright, WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!! Huh? So, you want to know... Well, OK, first, there are two princesses as of this tale's events: the day one and the night one! Second, was it not said to you, that Twilight lived in the library?! Huh? YES, HER HOME WAS A LIBRARY, AND THE LIBRARY WAS HER HOME! NOW KEEP SILENT!!!
...Uh-h-h, and go watch the origin, why won't you?.. Called "My little pony: Friendship is magic"!..
Um, now...
As Twilight trotted through the streets of Poniville, she kept looking every way for her friends. "Come out, my friends! Where are you?" -- she murmured under her breath. At such rates it was going to be a long time, before she found one.
Her determination unwavered, Twilight kept trotting onwards, not even noticing, Pinkie had been trotting alongside her for some time now. When she did register somepony's hooves clopping along with hers -- well, does one need telling quite what a surprise she was in for?
Screeching to a halt, eyes round and directed at her sudden stalker, she yelped:
"Gah! Pinkie?!"
Coming to a stop as well, Pinkie replied to Twilight with a hoof-waving, eyes closing from joy:
"Hiya, Twilight! What's up?"
"Pinkie! I'm looking for somepony to tell what a great discovery I made just this night... and you've been following me for this whole time?!"
"Uh-huh! I was just hopping through the streets of Poniville, looking, if any of my friends was out there looking for something -- and whatdaya know? I saw you doing just that! Nice guess, huh? So I up and approached you and decided to help you in your searches! Because, if two do it, it's twice as faster, isn't it? No? Well, that's what I thought, at least. So, I repeated every move you did in hopes to help you to reduce the amount of time needed... Wait. I should be saying "to save time", "to spend less time" or what? Huh... What is with my speech pattern today? Is someone out there trying to force me to speak this way?.."
Uh-h-h...
"...because, if there is... for example, I dunno... a guy with a quill!"
He-he-hee!
"...or some other means of writing stuff about pony lives, like... Uh, well, Twilight, do you know of any good writers, who write about pony lives?"
"Uh-h-h... Perhaps... in the library you could find some information about what you nee..."
"Oh, right, library! By-y-ye!"
A-a-and with that said Pinkie zapped off to the library's direction. Phew!
"Urgh! Why, when I need my friends, they just bam! and disappear?" -- grumbling, Twilight turned and made her way back to the library again.
However, when she finally made it there, out of the doors jumped a slightly pissed-off... Uh-oh!
"...like A. K. Yearling, for example!.. Boy, Twilight, you sure do have a lot of those!" At that T-twilight seemed n-not able to find a-any words t-to respond with: P-Pinkie's b-behaviour was a-as strange, as P-Pinkie herself. So she s-stopped in her tracks, looking j-just that: confused -- watching this little p-pink menace g-glare at s-somepony, who w-wasn't even supposed t-to be there. Oh, wait, no, she's at ease, as friendly, as can be, for she was speaking to Twilight directly. What a relief to have her calmed down and to be safe out of trouble!..
"...then I'll make sure it can't even lift up a quill any more!" -- resumed Pinkie with an angry face. Dang! And, w-whatever she was going t-to do... it seemed not to be... very pleasant! No!..
"Pinki-i-ie!"
"Ye-e-es, Twilight?" -- the little pink menace looked up at Twilight with a bright and happy face, her eyelids batting a couple of times, as if nothing unpleasant and, no doubt, d-deadly of a sort was just about to happen!
"Would you be so kind as to just stay still for a whole minute and listen to me?!"
"Sorry, Twilight... I've got a meanie-pants to take care of!" -- she said, a bit too menacingly for anypony's liking... Or anybody's, for that matter. Holy cow, let's hope for the best. Let's hope for the best!
"I can just feel it whining, curled in a ball!.." -- she said very threateningly; she'd make for a good hunter with that way of saying things...
On a side note: up to this point this story most definitely does NOT contain anyone bawling and curled in a ball! Let's say it with a strong emphasis put on it: no one!
"Sure, no one likes it, when they're called a crybaby..."
Ya think?!
"But let's just face it..."
"Ur-r-rgh!" Twilight just made a turn and, with her face full of utter frustration, headed in the common direction of her friends' possible locations: "And to think, I wanted to visit her lately! She doesn't even want to listen to me! Ur-r-rgh, Pinkie! Whomever should I find to get rid of all of this frustration this insane mare brings me to experience?!"
Eliciting one more grunt (or was it two?), Twilight was going away from this... little pink menace!.. N-no, rather from this aggravatingly frustrating... urgh, don't even wanna talk about how much it aggravates me!
That is what Twilight was thinking, as she resumed her searches for somepony to listen to her incredible discovery she made all by herself! Thinking of those eyes filled with excitement!.. Those ears absorbing every sound she'd make out!
It filled her with equal excitement... and determination!
"...W-well. Seems, like, whoever was messing up with Pinkamena Diana Pie, is gone. Ah, well! So, Twilight, what was it you wanted to say to me?" Seeing no one in vicinity, Pinkie frowned a little: "Huh... I was sure, I had seen Twilight passing by... What happened, anyway? Uh-h-h..." Yeah, let's hope, she'll know (or even better, she won't), what happened, by the point we reach the end of the tale of Twilight's great discovery! Little does she know... that this tale is anything but about her no doubt great discovery! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-a-a!
"Hey! I sense an evil laughter not far away from here! I'd better warn Twilight!!!" -- a-a-nd she's off to somewhere... We-e-ell, we'd better be heading to the opposite direction she went in. Who wants to mess with her speech pattern again, huh? For, if there were someone, not necessarily a pony, who had an incredible ability to control the flow of whatever is going on... and it's not to say there is such a being! But... if there were one! A little chance of that happening, but if... If only it were true... then this being would be just as scared of Pinkie's unsettling ability to see past the common conventions of storytelling, as just about anypo...
"Aha! I knew it was somewhere close to here! Alright, little buddy, be not afraid! Come out, come out, where-e-e-e-ever you are-e-e!"
She scanned her surroundings. Nothing. Nopony moved. "Come on, little buddy! Ponies are nice! Are you a pony? Or... aren't you?" Ah, darn it! She's getting close! "I won't hurt you. I've been taking lessons from Fluttershy on approaching wild animals". Wait, when? "Ha! Gotcha!" -- with that said she leapt in a random direction, as if to ca-woa-ha-a-atch! Someone! But... woah! There was... nobody, nobody there!!! Phew! "Huh? I was pretty sure, there was someone!" -- but nobody answered. Seriously, nobody to search here for. Ha-ha-ha!..
"Well... If there did be a sneaking someone!.. He'd better watch out!" -- with that said Pinkie, eyes half-closed, looking ominously, retreated step by step, until she disappeared out of view.
Meanwhile, as Pinkie tried to catch an inexistent someone (who epically didn't get caught by her ominous pink hooves and is still shuddering just thinking about what, if he had...), Twilight was far away from the pink mena... frustration in disguise! -- hoping to find some of her friends.
Luckily enough, she didn't need to wait for long: "Oh, Fluttershy, wait!"
The shy pegasus didn't seem to need Twilight to tell once more: "Gah!"
That was a particularly loud "gah!", not one she elicited very often. Only in those cases she was especially caught off guard.
"Oh, sorry, Fluttershy! I didn't mean it! How are you?"
"F... fine, I guess..." -- seeming very unconfident and most definitely not brave enough to stop shivering, Fluttershy rose to her unsteady hooves, not even looking directly at Twilight, still shocked.
"Fluttershy, listen! Just this night I discovered something so-o-o incredible!.. -- at this Twilight squealed. -- So incredible! I don't even know, if I'll be able to unload it all before you in a huge pile, before I just explode!"
And Fluttershy didn't like explosions. Nor did she like piles of information unloaded before her in an even huger pile thereof. Especially if such information required her being the centre of the unloader's attention! So...
"Eek! No, Twilight, listen... Uh-h-h, I don't mean to stop you, so if you like... but..."
"OK, great! -- said Twilight with an almost insane grin plastered on her face. Geez, she's excited alright! -- So..." -- she gasped for air, for she'd need that, when she unloads all of the knowledge she'd gathered so far...
Only there wasn't so much of a knowledge.
"Eh-h-h, I might have left my notes back in the library, but basically -- reality's an illusion, and... well, yeah, and... H-how do I put it... Uh-h-h..."
Fluttershy, eyes shut tightly and face turned away of the expected source of explosions, huge piles of information and most unwanted attention, cracked one of her eyes open to make sure there wasn't going to be any of listed above. As soon, as it appeared she'd been right, she got enough courage to face Twilight, some slight confusion on her face. For some reason the onslaught seemed to have been delayed...
"Uh... Well, Twilight, if you don't mind, I... yes. I'll be... off. I was... going to... well, some place, so... Um, well, I-I will be sure to check you later. That is, if... you'd like. Well... Um, yeah... I'm so sorry I didn't get to listen to you, but... just not now! Please?"
With that she was off, quickly gaining distance.
"F... Fluttershy! Wait! I... I almost remembered! Urgh, no, I didn't. -- she stomped her hoof. -- Oh, Celestia forgive me, I'm going to blow on the spot!"
And Celestia forgave her, for she loved her little pony. Even if Twilight didn't blow. Not on the spot. Not somewhere else some time later. Not at all. Despite all that she forgave her. She even chuckled at her little outburst (even if she couldn't actually observe her at her little moment for reasons not covered in this book, for they are obvious to anyone, who's reading it. Seriously, she's far away at her castle in Canterlot, it doesn't take someone as smart, as Twilight, to understand that! Speaking of whom...).
Fuming with angry discontent (to put it mildly!), she set off to one direction she knew: somewhere her friends might happen to be. And that wasn't somewhere she knew...
All of this frustration: from Pinkie for acting agoof (she chuckled; Pinkie would be glad for such a silly-vanilly word... Uh-h-h... Still!), from Fluttershy for being... well, herself, but, damn it all nonetheless! -- and from herself for forgetting the very basics -- all of it clearly called for some sort of relaxation. But first she'll get to the library and learn by heart every little ink blotch she made writing her research, every single molecule of that stupid paper... papers, to be precise! She won't be unprepared for such an apocalypse any once in the future! No. Not again!
"Well, my, my, darling! Why do you seem to be so blue today?"
"You know I'm purple, Rarity!" -- snapped Twilight at very conveniently passing by Rarity. Wait... Rarity?
"Oh dear, Twilight! That would simply not do!"
"Rarity, listen! I... Actually, I have to get back to the library... and learn all of what I discovered, by heart... every single letter and... every single curve... Why".
She couldn't say it more flatly. It wasn't even a question -- something between "just tell me why and bother me not" and a desperate "oh why, heavens, why??!". Rarity, having as sharp eyes, as she had, didn't need any more words or gestures. She understood immediately.
"Come on, go with me!"
"And then I'd need to find you... You... coming along with me?.. To... watch me learn?.. Or we'll just... uh..." -- she could obviously not think straight -- so frustrated she was. And desperate. And tired... And...
"Now, come on with me, dearie. You won't simply learn anything new today!"
"It's not new, Rarity, it's... well, yes, I'll learn it anew... No, I won't. I don't want to. Please, I just want to..." -- and then she just did what she intended to say: slumped to the ground.
"Now, now, darling! -- tutted Rarity at her. -- Get up. Now! Come on!" -- she lifted her back on her hooves.
Not wanting, Twilight, eyes half-closed, head hanging low, did as told and went -- albeit with Rarity's help -- to where she was leading her to --...
...-- to the SPA!
"Huh? A SPA? Why'd I need one?"
"Not another word from you, until you get that bath full of... Lotus, what is it with today?"
"Today it's with fragrant rose petals, Miss".
"See? You'll like it! And I don't take a "no" as an answer!"
"Rarity..." -- tried Twilight again, but failed.
Rarity got her to take a relaxing bath... can't say she was ungrateful for that, nope. Not for a million libraries, each full of a million books, each on a million subjects (if that's even possible!), would she end up not thanking Rarity for that relaxation... How relaxing!.. Uh? Oh, yes, right.
"So tell me, dearie, -- said Rarity, as both of them were relaxing in a hot bath, aforementioned fragrant rose petals' smell helping this even more, -- what disturbed you today?"
"Well, everything. Everything, Rarity! -- despite all the help from the bath Twilight still couldn't get frustration out of her heart. -- I learn something new, which is I don't even remember now what! Then I go to find Pinkie! You know what?! She isn't. Even. Listening!"
"Uh, darling..."
"But screw Pinkie, I've never got to understand her well enough, -- she sighed. -- Can't blame her, even though I am frustrated!"
"Darling, please..."
"But, again, screw Pinkie! -- another sigh. -- Thought, I would go to her place and relax a bit from my research... Now I don't even remember what I discovered!"
"Forgive me, darling, but..."
"Rarity, -- exclaimed Twilight, frustration expressed even more so, -- Fluttershy was busy! She didn't want to hear me out as well!"
"Well, -- Rarity paused to contemplate, -- did you force her to?"
"Almost, but I didn't take my notes with me, so... she ran away".
A pause settled for a while. Then Twilight was about to resume her venting:
"To sum it up, I was the one to blame, but Pinkie!.."
"Yes, darling, uh... Pinkie..."
"Oh, I am frustrated even thinking of her right now!"
"Which is quite inconvenient, darling".
"Why so, Rarity?" -- asked Twilight, slightly irritated.
"Well, she's standing right here, beside us, and..."
"Who? -- Twilight snapped her head in every direction, suddenly noticing, there was a new person present. -- Pinkie?.."
"Why, duh-uh-h, Twilight! I'm right beside you, no need to even apologise for gossiping about some of my, may I notice, everyday quirks, like it's something new you encountered just this day".
The speech was dry, even too dry for somepony so cheerful and upbeat (if that can be applied to a pony, that is), as Pinkie. Twilight was afraid to even think, what she might have done to break such a lovely friend!
"Uh... Hi there, P-Pinkie..." -- started Twilight, unsure.
"Why, hello there, Twilight Sparkle", -- replied Pinkie calmly.
Twilight felt herself getting more nervous:
"N-nice weather it is today outside, isn't it?.."
"Why, yes, the weather today is quite charming for my liking. What do you say, Rarity?"
"Uh, Pinkie, is everything OK? Because it seems to me..." -- Rarity was unsure, what to say.
"Oh, no-no-no, everything is just fine, if I do say so myself", -- went on Pinkie, completely failing to notice the look on her friends' faces, which clearly spoke confusion and slight terror at Pinkie's well-mannered and so uncharacteristic speech pattern.
Which can only mean one thing.
It is happening again! Oh no! Celestia, why?
"Pinkie Pie, darling, are you absolutely sure you are alright? You don't appear... yourself any more", -- offered a concerned Rarity.
"M-m-m, -- contemplated Pinkie Pie. -- Now, that you mention it, I do ever so slightly speak... uh... not my way. I don't usually speak like that! But why is this all happening? Again!"
"Again? -- Rarity showed her surprise.
"Yeah, it happened to me before. When I spoke to Twilight just this morning".
"Yeah, that was exactly what I got frustrated about. Sorry, Pinkie!" -- cried out Twilight suddenly and got out of the tub to step closer to her friend, hugging her as soon, as she reached her.
"Uh, -- Pinkie remained stunned for some time, but then gently smiled and returned the hug. -- Oh, it's OK, Twilight, always do you get mad at me, and always do I find it really adorable!" -- she hugged her once more, tighter this time.
"Oh, Pinkie!.." -- cried Twilight tears of relief, joy and whatever, you decide, it's hard to write so lately at night... Oh, sorry.
"Hm? -- Pinkie sniffed the air (oh Celestia...). -- Oh! I sense it again!"
"What?" -- exclaimed Rarity and Twilight.
"That sneaking someone I sensed before! -- she made it a point to emphasise the words "sneaking someone" with her grudge to said someone in her voice, almost hissing it, as she said it. -- Oh, they must be the one, who got my speech pattern jammed!"
Sorry, Pinkie! Sincere apologies coming your way! Please, accept them!
"But who might it be, Pinkie?" -- asked Rarity. Of course she wouldn't know, she's not Pinkie.
"That's the one controlling everything that happens! -- exclaimed she (oh Celestia, no!). -- The one always watching! The one..."
"Now, Pinkie, dear... -- started Rarity unsurely. -- Whatever is it you're talking about right now?"
"I-is it some kind of your... everyday... quirks? -- offered Twilight carefully, lest the Pink One get upset the creepy way again.
"No! Whatever they say, happens; whatever happens, does so upon their will; nopony has ever-forever countered them! Not even the Princesses! Oh, I feel like speaking so solemnly! It's not me! He simply doesn't know, how to handle my way of speaking! -- she dropped on the floor and started... uh-h-h... is she... wailing?? While banging on said floor with her forehoof, no less! -- This simply isn't feh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-heh-heh-h-h-h-h-air!"
...A-a-and she bawled loudly, everypony staring at her in shock. Uh-h-h, sorry, Pinkie... You'll get consoled soon enough!
"Well, Pinkie Pie, dearest!" -- exclaimed Rarity, rushing toward her and trying to put her hoof on... her somewhere, anywhere, anything to calm her down!
Twilight was right beside her in no time: "Pinkie, please, calm down! We are there for you!" -- she felt tears about to flow from her eyes. Please, Twilight, cry not, for everything's going to get settled!
"Oh-h-h... I'll find him!.. -- spoke Pinkie suddenly, not even a trace of a single tear on her face. Uh-h-h... -- I'll find him, and he won't escape me this time! -- she hopped on her fours, face displaying determination... and ferocity!.. Oh-ho! -- For I am Pinkamena Diana Pie, and nopony, even if they are not a pony, gets away with what... -- she faced to some random direction... Uh-oh, wait!.. -- ...YOU!.. YOU'll never get away with what YOU did!!! Not from Pinka... PDP for short!"
A-as she was doing whatever the living cupcakes she was doing, everypony engaged in a panic fit. N-no one seemed to understand, what was going on, nor did anyone know, what to do...
"Pinkie, you must calm down!" -- cried Twilight, panicked.
"Oh, yeah? Is that what YOU want or what The One Behind It All wants?" -- asked Pinkie, venom escaping her lips.
"Whom the hay are you talking about?! Discord?" -- Twilight could not follow Pinkie's train of thought.
"What? Why?.. Oh, no, that was not supposed to be a reference to that song!" -- cried out Pinkie, frustrated.
"What song, Pinkie? -- Rarity joined in. -- Please, frighten us no more! You look scary!"
"Well, I!.. Do I?.."
"Yes, you do!" -- cried almost everypony present, a few though it might be.
"Well... -- Pinkie trailed off. Her eyes darted one direction, then another. -- I... I-I..."
Unable to find something reasonable to do, that would help the situation to get clearer, something that could help to fix this unfairness, Pinkie closed her eyes shut, liquid seen where it could escape from-under her eyelids, and bolted outside. Nopony seemed happy about the outcome... Not even The One Behind It All... Not even Discord would be, if he were here. Oh, Pinkie! Where did you go?!..
There had been no trail of Pinkie for quite some time by that point. And still, whoever had seen it all unfold before their eyes, had not left their places. Everyone was shocked. Stunned. Uh-h-h, dictionary, dictionary, where'd you be?
"Uh, Twilight?"
"Y-yes?"
Rarity gave out a sigh:
"I don't know, what just happened... I am going to go and console the poor thing. What she's frustrated about, I do not get, but she clearly needs somepony".
"Rarity, I feel like it's all my fault! I should have never gotten frustrated over her... whatever it was she was doing!"
"Twilight, dear! You have been frustrated today too much! You should not get yourself worried!"
"But, Rarity!.."
"No. When she feels better, I'll call you. Now, however, please... Try to relax".
That said, Twilight, tears in her eyes, complied reluctantly. Satisfied with Twilight, Rarity hurried after the poor pink thing. There was still hope, she'd get Pinkie in her usual cheery shape! May this hope not perish!
"Well... -- muttered Twilight, glancing down. -- Everypony's left. Whomever shall I tell about my great discovery?"
"We, -- came the voice of the SPA ponies, -- could listen to you, Miss".
This still didn't improve Twilight's mood:
"Well, I forgot what I discovered, anyway, so does it really matter now?"
"Please, worry not, for SPA treatments are on their way!" -- cheered the SPA ponies.
Twilight decided just to roll with it:
"OK, SPA time it is, then. I need to calm down and relax, anyway..."
When done with the SPA, Twilight emerged out of its doors, clearly refreshed, compared to the state she entered there in.
"Ah! Boy is it good to visit this place every now and then!"
"That's for certain! -- replied Lotus cheerfully to her. -- Be sure to come again soon!"
"Will do, girls!" -- Twilight really felt very spirit-lifted. She won't even need to go to Pinkie's to rela...
"U-u-ugh! -- she gasped. -- Pinkie! Oh dear, how could I forget!" Saying no more, she dashed to somewhere, hoping to find Pinkie in that general direction.
And she would have searched for her, no doubt, had a certain multicolour-maned, light-speed-dashing mare not happened to distract her from above:
"Hiya, Twilight! What's up?"
"Ugh, -- a gasp again, -- Rainbow Dash, have you seen Pinkie Pie?" -- she asked frantically.
"Well... nope, can't say I have, -- replied Dash. -- Why?"
Twilight was about to answer, but couldn't find the words she needed.
"Well, -- she started. -- I... don't know where to begin from".
"Huh? -- raised Rainbow Dash an eyebrow, confusion on her face. -- Why's that?"
Twilight opened her mouth, as if to say something, but what could she really say? Unless she somehow read the story she was in... but that wouldn't happen.
"Rainbow, if only I could retell you everything that happened to me today! And yesterday! Actually... yesterday I discovered something..."
"Well, -- chuckled Dash slightly, -- what did you discover... egghead?"
Unfazed by her friend's teasing, though clearly not amused, by the look on her face, Twilight continued:
"I wrote everything down, slept for some time and in the morning bolted straight out of the library to tell all of you what I'd discovered".
Rainbow chuckled:
"Well, and then you met me, the one and only, who, -- here she chuckled some more, -- hovered above... -- she giggled, unable to contain herself. -- ...listening to your telling me about... your great discovery..."
Rainbow couldn't hold it in. The whole exchange sounded so-o-o hilarious! Twilight practically was retelling the events, clearly nearing the point, where she'd have to say: "And then I met you, hovering above. You startled me with a "hi there, Twilight!", and I replied: "Hey there, Rainbow Dash, have you seen Pinkie Pie lately? I'm concerned about her for reasons I cannot remember, no matter, how hard I try, and try, as I may, I won't recall why. So, to help me with that, I'd like you to listen to me recall everything that happened. Ahem. Yesterday I was in the library, studying. No matter, how late it would get, I ploughed forward. Determination filled my heart, and excitement filled me up to the brim! So I bolted out of the library the moment the sun rose and...""
"Um-m-m... Rainbow?" -- at this point Rainbow Dash was rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically, the whole imaginary exchange going on, looping and recursing in her head.
"Gah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" -- howled she with laughter.
"O-okey, I... I'll go and get some... help?" -- with that she trotted uncertainly, not even a little bit sure, what had just happened.
"I'll get you help, don't you worry!" -- yelled she back at Rainbow, who only now started to show the signs of recovering:
"Ha-hah!.. W-wait... T... Twilight!.. Gah-ha-hah!.." -- she panted, clearly needing some air, despite her being outdoors.
Trying not to laugh, she continued panting on, all effort put into shaking this stupid, insanely hilarious image out of her head: "Ha-ha! T-Twilight! Oh, Celestia hold... me-he-hee! Gngh..."
Boy, that's one way to express somepony's amusement... Well, while Rainbow Dash was laughing, Twilight couldn't help her in any way, so she'd had better bring somepony in...
"Hiya, Dashie! Whatcha laughing at?"
"Oh b-boy! He-he-he... Pinkie-he-hee, heh-he-he-help!"
Pinkie, who had strangely appeared out of nowhere, watched Dash in slight confusion, head tilted to one side.
"Huh. Dashie, what's so funny?"
"Ghee-ee-ee..." -- tried to contain herself the Amused One.
"Hm-m-m... I'm sensing this again! Somepony's trying to mess with my friends!!!" -- with that an angry expression filled her face, rage sparkling in her eyes... Ah, shoot!
"Now, don't you go to anywhere, Mister Meaniepants! Not before you fix everything you've done so far!!!" -- she pawed the ground with her hoof (which should be "hoofed" instead of "pawed" then, since Pinkie had no paws to begin with).
"Don't you dare try whatever you're trying to do, Mister! Twice have you defeated me, but now!.. You know what? No! You won't do this! Oh, no, you won't! -- she expressly shook her head to make her point. Geez. -- Not again! -- more head-shaking, much analogous to the one before. Now, does this sound familiar?.. -- Sorry".
Having said that, she approached Dash with steady steps and firmly took her by her shoulders and shook her, almost violently. "Heh-he-heh", -- Rainbow Dash's laughter died down a bit... Um, well, a whole lot of bits, actually... Holy cow, Pinkie's so scary right now! Shielding away from her won't suffice! What to do, what to do?!
"Oh no, no one's shielding away from anything! Now get everything back on track!!!"
O-okey! Well, as Pinkie was raging at whomever she was raging at, Rainbow Dash finally calmed down enough not to try (and not to fail miserably) to hold laughter in herself every moment.
"That's better! -- said Pinkie Pie, satisfied. -- Now, did I see Twilight here?"
"Oh... -- groaned Dash. -- Oh, Twilight? She was standing right there, but then..." -- she snorted in an incoming laughter fit, memories still a living picture.
"Rainbow! -- exclaimed Pinkie, concerned to no end, as her friend was going to fall into the Deadly Pits Of Laughter. -- Oh, no, you DON'T!" -- she bellowed and, taking a firm grip on Rainbow once again, shook her even more violently, than before.
"Whoa-oa-oa, Pin-kie! Ee! Ee! Stoh! Oh! Op!"
Seeing, as Dash was not laughing maniacally any more (and was not going any time soon, sheesh!), she did stop, putting her down. "What's up, Pink? The hay are you shaking me like a... uh, a maracas?"
"Oh, Dashie, you. Won't. Be-lie-e-e-eve it!" -- and Pinkie began to unload all of what had happened since she appeared at her side and saw her laughing uncontrollably:
"...and then I said: "Oatmeal?! Are you crazy!.." Oh, wait, where was I?"
"Um, where... -- Rainbow wondered. Where indeed? -- I don't know. Weren't you supposed to tell me about whatever you wanted to tell me about?"
"Uh? Oh, yeah, right! So, basically I ended up here, obviously summoned by someone's will!.." -- oh, come on! Why did she say that, emphasising the word "obviously" and looking unwelcomingly aside with a frown, no less, possibly at someone, when there wasn't even anybody there, and even if there were...
"I know I was, because I appeared here out of nowhere!"
At that Rainbow snickered, though not as severely, as before:
"Well, heh, Pinkie, were you summoned or not, thanks anyway!" -- she could barely hold herself from going through all of the laughter again, ready to plop down and to laugh her rainbow-coloured mane off, as she recalled what everything had begun with.
"Dashie?!" -- asked Pinkie concernedly, expecting Dashie to die of incoming howling. As if.
"N-no-no, I-ha-ha, I'm a-alright", -- despite that she couldn't stop chuckles escaping her mouth.
Pinkie started to get nervous and ready for a battle with someone, who might be doing it on purpose. Though why would that someone do something like this on purpose? "Please, Rainbow Dash, if you can hold this laughter in, then hold it!"
Dash tried. She did. But what comes, when one tries to hold back laughter from memories of something very funny, Pinkie?!
"Heh, P-Pinkie, you w-won't belie-he-heeve, just what happened! -- Dash forced out, -- Y... You should have been here!.."
"Now, breathe deeply, Rainbow Dash! This will all pass! But, if it won't!.. -- her face once again turned very menacing. And, w-whoever could see that face at t-that moment, p-ponies passing by, f-for example, sh-shied away from her! -- If it won't... I'll make sure it will!"
A-and Rainbow Dash tried breathing deeply, for it was her only solution to the problem. It helped. It really did!
"Heh, -- one final chuckle escaped her mouth, -- yeah... So, Pink..." -- she almost choked with a laughing fit...
"NO!" -- ...but she remembered the technique Pinkie taught her and stayed calm.
"Phew-w-w!"
"Geez, stop jerking up, whenever I'm about to laugh, Pinkie! I'm not dying or anything".
"You almost did, Dashie, -- concern was clear in Pinkie's voice. -- And if you had!.." -- but Rainbow didn't let her finish that thought:
"No, I wouldn't, silly! On the second hoof, I possibly could, but..."
"See?! He's dangerous! He must be captured and dungeoned, then deprived of everything sweet, and then!.."
"Whoa-whoa there, hold your horses! -- at that she giggled silly, but managed to keep it together. -- I have no idea, whom or what you could possibly be talking about right now, but... -- a suppressed snicker. -- ...let me first tell you what T-Twilight did there! Gah! -- laughter was bursting out, but Rainbow stood her ground. -- S-so..." -- she could barely speak at this point again.
For a couple of seconds there she struggled to get words out of her throat... but nothing would come out.
"D-Dash? -- boy was Pinkie Pie concerned by this moment! -- Remember: keep breathing!"
It worked, but Rainbow Dash could still barely express herself, as she was bringing the events up:
"...A-and... so she... -- she snorted, almost having reached the climax of her tale, -- ...r... retold... everything, gh... -- Celestia witness, she tried her best to keep from laughing, but, damn... -- Gah! Ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Pinkie Pie was giggling silly as well, amused by this scene to no limits, as she grasped the very essence of what had transpired, Dash's laughter helping in almost no way:
"O-okey, Dashie, he-he-hee! That sure was a funny thing to happen! -- relieved, that all of this laughter came naturally, she laughed at the silliness of this whole situation. -- Who could have possibly thought, that would have been something that silly!"
And words do no justice to how glad she was, that all ended so light-heartedly!
"OK, so he's not trying to force you to laugh to his own amusement, after all..."
Thanks a lot, Pinkie! Though, whoever she talked about would very appreciate, if she didn't try to screw everything up next time! After all, this tale is not about Pinkie Pie trying to catch an invisible someone, who is said to have abilities beyond anyone's comprehension, but...
"Spea-a-aking of which, Dash. Have you seen Twilight? You said, you had seen her, and then... -- she giggle-snorted, -- ...tha-hat ha-ha-had happened! -- she tried to calm herself down. -- Whoo! I am most definitely saving this to my favourites, where all my favourite stuff resides! Jokes, comedy routines and lots and lots of other funny things! Dash, please, could you retell me that, so I could write it down? Dash?"
And Dash completely gave up on trying to hold her laughter any more. Had it not been for Pinkie present here and for her ability to be... such a scary pony at some times!.. Rainbow Dash would have choked from laughter by this point -- so hard she laughed!
"OK, Dashie, please, I understand, that this is funny... to death!" -- as if somepony had been waiting for this moment, a "rim-shot" (though technically it is not called that) rang out. Pinkie only waved a hoof at somepony, who'd done that, as if to greet. -- "But, please, -- continued she, -- I'm serious, calm the hay down!" -- at this she grabbed her and shook her firmly.
Dash honestly tried to calm, but... it was too hilarious to stop, so...
[wpoiler]"If you don't, Dashie... -- said Pinkie softly, but with a hint to some unpleasant consequences. -- Then I'm bringing you at my place... to make cupcakes!"
Dash didn't need repeating that twice:
"What? Did you just say "make cupcakes"?"
"Yes! Why?"
"You know why... Pinkamena Diana Pie!"
"Just PDP will do!" -- smiled she cheerfully.
"As much, as I like pranking somepony, -- continued Rainbow Dash, a pang of hurt and a bit of anger in her voice, -- I was definitely not amused by THAT one, Pinkie!"
"So-o-orry, Dashie! -- said Pinkie motherly. -- But I meant baking real cupcakes!"
"Not up to it, Pinkie! -- grumbled Rainbow Dash. -- Eating -- yes, baking -- for Celestia, no! I had my share!"
With that she went to somewhere, Pinkie bouncing after her, tone upset:
"Wait! Dashie! Please, tell me, you're not upset, are you? Please! Don't be upset!"
With that the two of them disappeared from the view of anypony that could stand at that place and watch them go. What a pity, there wasn't anyone to actually watch them... Well, even if someone did actually watch them... He would definitely be not going to follow them, because he would have slightly more important things to do! Where the hay is Twilight Sparkle?!
Twilight had tried asking some ponies for help, but nopony had come. That felt... unpleasant, to say the least. "Gur-r-rh! Why does everything have to be so frustrating today?!" Nopony knew that. Which Twilight was not happy with. "Will somepony at least listen to what I discovered? -- exclaimed she. -- It's not that much to listen to... especially considering, I forgot what it was..." Well, it seemed, as though her yesterday attempts were all but futile. She might as well just get home and try it again.
Wait a minute... Get home...
"Ugh, -- she gasped, -- of course! I simply need to get back to the library! And get my notes! And then get everypony's attention! Then get some awards for my discovery! Then..."
"Afternoon, Twah-i. Mah-inding some of your business, ain'tcha? Well, me too!"
Past Twilight passed Applejack, loaded with -- who would have guessed! -- apples, all lying inside a cart.
"Applejack! Are you busy?"
"Uh... Well... yeah?.."
"You've got to help me! Rainbow Dash's dying of laughter, and I simply have to get back to my library and to get my notes, then I'll remember what I discovered last night and will be able to tell all of you about it... Actually, I must console Pinkie, but..."
"Oh, don'tcha worry your smart noggin none about that pink pony, Twah-ilight! Ah-i kinda forgot about that... -- she rubbed the back of her head with a forehoof, looking ashamed a bit. -- ...but Ah-i have seen Rarity, and she told me, if Ah-i saw you, Ah-i should tell you, she wanted you to know, that Pinkie's actually betta a lot. So..."
"Oh, thank Celestia, she's OK! I got frustrated over her, and then thought, I upset her... but then we made up, anyway, but then she started... something, I don't know... Her speech pattern had been jammed... and then she tried to attack someone, and no one saw whom. And then she just turned upset again, for, apparently, nopony seemed to understand her problem! Oh, Applejack, I feel so compelled to see her! But what about Rainbow Dash? And my notes? Oh, Applejack, you've gotta!.."
"A bit busy there, Twah-ilight. Gotta get to the market and sell 'em apples, till the cart's as empty, as a hungry insect's belly!" -- she knit her eyebrows at the mention of insects, for they did spoil the harvest.
"But, Applejack, what about me!"
Applejack sighed:
"OK, Twah-ilight, Ah-i'll see, what Ah-i can do. Ain't sure, where Pinkie Pie is, but do you know where Rainbow is?"
"Yes, follow me!"
That said, Twilight and Applejack were off.