I lay on my back on my bed as I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes bloodshot. I was rudely awoken in the middle of the night, and so I was up the rest of the night because I tried to catch some sleep. I tried everything; bear traps around my room, net traps on the windows and door, I even held a butterfly net in one of my hoofsies as I scanned the room. ‘Olly olly minotauren-free!’ I recalled myself calling out as I searched the room to no avail. Sleep was just not to be found that night, so I resigned myself to my defeat.
Now… it was Monday morning, six-thirty to be precise, and my lack of sleep left me skeptical if I was even going to succeed. Nevertheless, I rolled out of bed and made my way down the stairs. As I hopped out the front door, the Cakes were still asleep. A part of my brain really wished I could be them right now.
However, no such luck was to be had on this day.
I bounced across the way to my bakery that was having the finishing touches applied by the worker ponies assigned to my build. “Hiya fellas! How’s it going over here?” I asked in an optimistic tone. The worker ponies seemed to ignore me as they moved the final pieces of furniture inside.
“Okie dokie loki! It’s coming along! How close are we to being done?” I asked, slightly louder this time. This time, the collected worker ponies appeared to have heard me because one of them stopped as he turned to face me.
“Oh! Just in time Pinkie Pie! We’re just putting in the last pieces of furniture now!” he said as I squeed in delight. I couldn’t wait any longer so I bounced into the main seating area and rebounded off of the walls to get a close look at the finished product. Eventually, I skidded to a halt in front of the worker ponies with my characteristic grin plastered on my face.
“Ohmigosh! It’s super-duper splenderific!” I said enthusiastically, “This is everything I wished for and more!” I exclaimed as I bounced in place. One of the worker ponies ruffled my mane before they all left, which caused it to bounce back into place much like a depressed spring.
After the worker ponies left, I started preparing the inside of the bakery for customers. I started blowing up balloons, curling streamers and placing trays of cupcakes on the tables. I even placed a standing blackboard to welcome my customers inside. I repainted the floorboards and put up wallpaper with bouncing cupcakes on it. After putting out some displays with cupcakes, cookies, and cakes I went into the backroom to check on my supplies.
A crowd formed outside of the doors as I double-checked my inventory one last time as I bounced on a trampoline to assist myself in doing so. “Okley-dokily! Let’s see here! Sugar? Check. Flour? Checkaroonie! Sprrrrinkles? Checkie check check!” I said as I flipped off of the trampoline and landed on my hoofsies. Afterwards, I opened the bakery for business.
No sooner than I did, a small crowd washed into the bakery like a tidal wave which I rode all the way to the counter. When I got to the counter, I slid across it with my hoofsies extended and a joyful expression on my face. I wasn’t paying attention however and face-planted onto the floor. After I peeled my face from the floor like a wad of chewing gum, I got to work immediately.
“Okie dokie! Who ordered the baker’s dozen of marble and strawberry frosted cupcakes?” I asked as several ponies trotted up to take from the small pile of ten bakers dozen cupcakes I had lined up. Whenever it seemed like I was making headway, more orders came in. I could barely handle all of the orders being given to me. Eventually, the crowd began to thin out, “Alright… looks like that’s the last of the orders…” I said as I paused to catch my breath. It was nearly noon when the crowds finally dispersed, leaving me feeling exhausted and physically drained. The rest of the morning was slow with single orders for cakes and cookies being called in intermittently.
When early afternoon came around, I remembered something that made me feel uneasy. I would be getting a visit from the Equestrian Better Business Bureau eventually, and I had a sneaking suspicion as to who would be visiting me. Sure enough, the phone rang as I bounced over to it and picked up the receiver in a hoof. “Hiya! You reached Pinkie’s Patisserie! This is Pinkie!” I said in my usually cheerful voice as a familiar voice came over the other end.
“Hello, this is the Equestrian Better Business Bureau and… oh great! Out of all of the ponies to open a business, why did it have to be you?”
I knew that voice anywhere. It was that big meany pants that gave that sizable fine to the Cakes.
“What do you want? Let me guess, you’re coming over here to inspect my business? Well, isn’t there literally anyone else besides you, mister big meany-pants?” I asked as I mixed a bowl of batter on the counter. In my throttled state, I mixed the bowl a bit too fast which caused batter to get all over the counter.
“Well, this ‘big meany-pants’, as you so coquicially put it, is one of only three certified inspectors. One is in Canterlot, and the other is on vacation. So, guess who you get stuck with?”
I knew the answer to that question but I didn’t have to like it.
“Fine… when are you coming to inspect my business?”
“I have an opening in a few hours. See you then... you pink menace.”
“Yeah, yeah… I’ll be here… and I’ll be ready for you!” I said as I slammed the receiver down on the connector. My mood was ruined for the rest of the day, however I forced a smile as I took orders for many different kinds of baked goods.
I wasn’t going to let his visit ruin me.
At least, that’s what I said at first.
As the day went on, I became more and more frantic about the representative coming to visit later. As I ran the possible events of the inspection over and over in my head, sweat formed on my brow that caused some of the hairs in my mane to stand on end. The more I thought about it, the worse it became. Eventually, parts of my mane took on a consistency similar to that of a cotton ball. I was super-duper tense and my customers couldn’t help but notice.
“Hey, uh, Pinkie? You alright over there? You… uh, you don’t look like your normal, bubbly self...”
“Huh? Oh…” I said as I looked into a glass display cover and noticed I was a hot mess. “Don’t worry, friend! I’m super-duper! Never better!” I said as I forced a grin onto my face while I screamed internally.
“Oh, uh, okay. Well, have a good day then...“
As they left, I paced the floor as my mind raced a mile a minute.
“What if he does shutter my business?” I said to nopony in particular as I started getting orders wrong due to the stress. One customer ordered a triple layer vanilla cake with chocolate pudding and buttercream icing. I ended up making a double layer chocolate cake with vanilla pudding and whipped cream icing. Needless to say, they were not happy with the cake and I had to redo it. That didn’t help put my mind at ease, either.
“I… I won’t have any other options left to help save the corner…!” I said as I paced the floor, waiting for the cake to finish baking. Eventually, I slapped myself across the face and brought myself together. “No, I won’t let that happen! I have to pass that inspection! Even if I have to force myself to be super-duper nice and friendly to that… that big meany-pants!”
As I was deep in self-reflection, the smell of smoke snapped me from my revelry. “Hmm… that smell is super-duper sour! I think it’s coming from the kitchen!” I said as I swooshed into the kitchen and gasped dramatically in realization. I noticed that I left one of the cakes in the oven too long and the top layer looked to be burnt. I quickly turned off the oven and slid it out.
“Oh no… it’s ruined! I don’t have time to make another one. Oh no, no, no, no, no! This isn’t happening!” I said as I paced back and forth. “Ooh! Maybe I do have time!” I said as I pieced together what remained of the batter before taking the half-burnt cake from the tin. I washed out the tin, dried it, and poured the rest of the batter inside of it. Thankfully, the amount inside was just enough as I popped it into the oven.
A soft chime announced the arrival of the customer whose cake I inadvertently ruined as I swooshed out into the main seating area to greet him. “Hiya! Sorry, there’s gonna be a teensy-weensy, itsy-bitsy delay on that cake you ordered…” I said as I tapped a hoof on the counter nervously.
“Um, okay? What happened to tー”
I quickly squashed my hoof against his muzzle, which cut him off mid-sentence. “Don’t worry about it! I have it handled.”
“But--” they tried to say before they saw my expression and quickly decided not to protest. Eventually, I heard the timer go off in the back. “Okie dokie loki! There it is! I’ll be right back! You don’t go anywhere, okie dokie?” I said as I swooshed into the back, prepared their cake, and swooshed back out to deliver it to them. Fortunately, they weren’t too upset about the wait and after some light conversation they paid me and left.
A few hours later, business quieted down again as a small hoof-full of ponies came and left with a few still lingering in the patisserie. Just as I was about to head into the back to start making a new batch of cupcakes, the door opened with a soft chime. When I swooshed out to see who it was, I noticed it was that representative. The one that levied that fine on the cakes and got me into this mess in the first place.
Okay Pinkie...calm down. All you gotta do is get through this inspection without messing anything up, making any mess, or getting him angry! Simple, right?
I swallowed hard. This was not going to be as easy as I thought it was going to be.
“Hello… Pinkie.” He said in a not-so-friendly tone of voice. “You know why I’m here… so, let’s see how long it takes before you screw it all up, hm?” he asked in that know-it-all tone of voice that I loathed.
He knew exactly how to push my buttons and I didn’t like it one bit.
“Okie dokie loki! However, I think you’ll find that I came prepared this time!” I said as I disappeared into the back. The next time I appeared was behind him on his left side holding a tray of cupcakes. “Cupcake?” I asked as he waved me away. Redoubling my efforts, I appeared on his right side this time. “They’re marble!” I said in sing song as he swatted me away this time.
When he inhaled, I stuck my head out from his mouth holding a single cookie. “Okie dokie! I see you don’t like cupcakes. How about a cookie?” I asked as he glared at me with disdain.
“Ms. Pie. I’m only here to do my job. No more, no less. Treat me as if I was just a normal customer andー”
“But, but, but! I am treating you like a normal customer!” I said as he gave me an unamused glare. However, he sighed and trotted inside, heading to a barstool and proceeded to sit upon it. I swooshed behind the counter to head into the kitchen. The door opened again and I swooshed back out to take the orders of the ponies that came in.
“Okie dokie! So that’s one double layer pinky donut cake with molten chocolate filling and carnival sprinkles?” I asked as the pony nodded their confirmation, “Alrighty! That’ll be forty bits!” I said as I swooshed into the back to begin preparing the cake. In-between preparing the cake, I swooshed in and out of the kitchen carrying full trays of cupcakes for several ponies sitting at various tables inside of the patisserie. I even went out of my way to avoid the representative altogether to ensure that nothing got on his suit or distracted me from my work.
A few more hours pass and not a single drop had been spilled nor a single cupcake dropped or beverage wasted. The representative rose to his hooves and heaved a sigh. “I’ve seen enough. Even though it pains me to say this… you pass the inspection… Pinkie.”
I could sense the ire in his voice, much like someone who just took a punch to the gut yet could not retaliate or do anything about it. I bounced around the room feeling terrific hearing this news.
“Ohmigosh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I said as I hugged him tightly. He looked at me with a snort, but said nothing as he shook me off and readjusted his suit. I rubbed the back of my head in an uncomfortable manner before he cleared his throat.
“Right. I’ll be doing regular inspections of your business… Pinkie. I’ll be coming every month to inspect your patisserie and ensure it is up to code. Until next time…” I heard him mumble something under his breath but I was too ecstatic to care.
I passed the inspection and that’s all I cared about at the moment.
After the representative left, the sun began to hang low in the sky. The rest of the ponies inside finished up their orders and paid me before they left for the day. As I closed up the bakery, I took out a jar beneath the counter and started counting the bits inside.
“...one hundred forty-seven, one hundred forty-eight, one hundred forty-nine… one hundred and fifty.” When I realized that was the entirety of the bits inside the jar, I felt disappointed with myself. I was the premiere party pony in Ponyville… yet my business wasn’t as profitable as it should have been.
“Okay… now how to fix this…” I mumbled to myself as I tapped a hoofsie against my chin. “Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know! Maybe I’m not doing enough promotion for my business! Maybe I need to go all out and place signs and flyers around town! Yupparoonie, that sounds like a great idea! Tomorrow, I’ll start promoting my business more! For now, though…” I said as I tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn, “...I think that getting some sleep is in order. Yupparoonie!”
I swooshed around the patisserie as I cleaned what I could in the kitchen and seating areas, skating along the floor on a pair of scrub brushes to clean the floors and speed-shine the tables at the exact same time to cut down on my work. Eventually I felt the place was clean enough so I gathered my cleaning supplies and locked up for the night.
Returning to the Corner, the Cakes were still up preparing for bed as I hopped into the bakery. “So… how was opening day, Pinkie?” Mr. Cake asked as he trotted towards the stairs. “Pretty hectic, I hope? After all, you are Ponyville’s premiere party pony… everypony knows who you are…” he said in a defeated tone of voice as he ascends the stairs.
“Yupparoonie! Today was fine… but I feel that I need to be doing more! I’m going to start promoting my business more tomorrow!” I said as Mrs. Cake yawned and waved a hoof idly.
“That’s good dear.” Mrs. Cake said as she yawned into her hoof. “However, me and my husband were talking while you were out and we feel that now it’s time for you to be pulling a bit more of your weight around here…” she said as she trotted to the stairs, “We could really use some help cleaning up around the place now that we have the opportunity to.”
“But, but, but! I don’t have time to clean! Where am I going to fit that in to my already hectic schedule?” I asked as I followed her upstairs, “I have a business to maintain and advertising to do and don’t forget I have to take stock and ensure that everything is in working order andー”
Mrs. Cake pressed a hoof against my muzzle which cut me off mid-sentence. “Pinkie, dear, remind me… whose roof do you live under?”
“Y-yours?” I asked muffledly as Mrs. Cake realized her hoof was still there and lowered it.
“Right… and do you know why we let you live under our roof?”
“Because I… work here?” I ask as Mrs. Cake smiled at me and gently nodded her head.
“Right again, Pinkie dear. Now, with that in mind… I’m sure that a little extra responsibility won’t kill you, now will it?” she asks as I open my mouth to protest but merely sigh as I slump my shoulders dejectedly.
“But.. o-okie dokie, Mrs. Cake. I suppose I can find the time to help you two out and run my business. How hard could it be?” I asked as Mrs. Cake smiled and patted my head.
“Good answer. Now… let’s talk about this more in the morning, okay? We were up early this morning andー”
“Okie dokie, sounds good Mrs. Cake!” I said as I bounced into my room and flopped onto my bed. I was too worn out to do much of anything else tonight so I just let sleep claim me.
Tomorrow was going to be just as big, or possibly even bigger, then today.