//------------------------------// // 054 - State of the Union, Part 2 // Story: Songs of the Spheres // by GMBlackjack //------------------------------// Allure was the last of the Sweetie Belles to come to. The first of her senses that worked was her sense of smell, picking up on the aroma of freshly prepared tea. She opened her eyes, finding herself on a large horseshoe-shaped couch with a table in the center. The tea was right in front of her eyes. “Good. You’re awake,” Thrackerzod said. “If I had to refrain from blowing this place to the depths of darkness for a few more minutes I believe I would have snapped my own brain stem.” “Where are we?” Allure asked, looking around. She answered her own question before anypony offered an explanation. The room was simple, well furnished, and had the USM’s stars-and-stripes logo on the door. “Ah. Fancy prison.” Squeaky shrugged. “One way of looking at it. I think they’d like to think of it as ‘a room to discuss business’. I wouldn’t be surprised if this area is also used for official briefings.” Allure rubbed the back of her head. “So… We got beaten?” “We got unlucky,” Thrackerzod bristled. “You just don’t like losing.” “Who does?” “Life signs detected!” Bot shouted, arming her guns at the door. The door opened unassumingly and the froggy form of Froppy poked herself in. “Ribbit?” “Oh. Hey Froppy,” Allure said. “Sending you in to get us calm, are they?” “Yep,” Froppy confirmed. “Three guesses as to who’s behind me.” The four of them all answered. “Valentine.” “Valentine.” “Valentine.” “The Easter Bunny.” Everyone turned to stare at Bot. “What? …I want eggs.” “That was four guesses,” Froppy pointed out. “Since three of them were the same… Yeah.” She opened the door the rest of the way. Sure enough, it was Ambassador Valentine in his trademark pinkish suit and long curled hair. “May I come in?” Valentine asked. “Sure,” Allure said. “I’m sure we can figure this out if we talk it through rationally.” Valentine nodded, taking a seat on the couch alongside Froppy. “If you don’t mind, allow me to regale you with what I think happened.” “Go right ahead,” Squeaky allowed. Valentine folded his hands. “I believe you arrived in the universe at the behest of one of its cats pleading for your help. You went to investigate the claims to see if they were legitimate. Finding it not to your liking, you were leaving and ran into my team. I assume the ensuing battle was their fault, and the draw due more to crazed explosions than actions that could reflect on any particular individual’s competence as a fighter. At which point ‘reinforcements’ arrived, beamed up everyone detected at the site and brought you here.” “Pretty good,” Allure admitted. “You left out the part about your team being there to capture and-or kill Goldsire.” “It was their mission, yes,” Valentine said, cautiously. “Why?” Allure asked. Valentine looked at the USM’s logo. “…The drive of the United States of the Multiverse is to expand and improve the ideals of the democratic republic in any and all universes. We take personal interest in any society undergoing an upheaval of this sort, supporting the side that desires the democracy.” “They don’t even know you’re supporting them,” Allure said. “You never visited our side,” Valentine asserted. “I contacted their ancestors. If they knew of your involvement, they would have shown me. Because it would have helped me make my decision.” She pointed a hoof. “We left because we thought this fight needed to be their decision. If you are interfering, it’s predecided in favor of the side you want to win!” “You’ll adapt them into the USM down the road,” Squeaky added. “Probably along with the rest of the planet. More power for you. More control.” Valentine furrowed his brow. “So, are you saying you intend to interfere now?” “If you promise to pull out, we won’t,” Allure declared. “But if you stay involved… We’ll involve ourselves with the other side to make it a fair fight. They need to decide this for themselves.” “Do you want to start an international incident over a bunch of cats?” Valentine asked. “Wh-” “If you go through with this it could lead to war between our powers.” The Sweetie Belles froze – except for Thrackerzod. “He’s exaggerating. He’s not willing to go to war over a ‘bunch of cats’ either.” “So we’ll help them,” Allure asserted, “and then the fight will be even, and it’ll still be their choice.” Valentine narrowed his eyes. “You have quite the double standard, don’t you?” “…Come again?” Allure asked. “You’ve done the same thing we’re doing,” Valentine declared, removing a file from his coat pocket. “History of the Gem Vein. Invigorating read on how a set of universes used political pressure to convert an alien culture into something more appropriate and to their liking.” “That’s different, they were wr-” Froppy interrupted her. “The USM asserts that anything that is not a democratic republic of some sort is wrong on a moral principle. Ribbit.” Thrackerzod narrowed her eyes. “So, what, all the other nations are wrong to you? What, you want to convert us as well?” Valentine chose his words carefully. “If we thought it were a worthwhile devotion of resources, we would seek that out, yes.” “How would you go about even explaining the concept of democracy to the Embodiment? Inequality is ingrained into their biology.” “You mistake democracy for equality,” Valentine said. “I am the most powerful man in the United States of the Multiverse, barring the current president hersel; I am clearly not equal to everyone else in this nation. The goal is to ensure even the lowest of the low have a voice.” “Then you can’t compare our actions with the Gem Vein to what you’re doing,” Allure declared. “You’re very certain you have the right answer to government. We’re not. We just knew that what was happening there was wrong.” She folded her hooves. “I’m not backing down.” Valentine’s eyes looked menacing for the first time in the meeting. He activated something – making Thrackerzod jump. “Only you can see the Stand? Not surprised.” Valentine gestured at his invisible companion. “This is Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap, or D4C. It has the power to slip into alternate universes via a complex method known as ‘compression between objects’. It was given to me, and I used it to uncover the secrets of the multiverse. This Stand is the reason the USM exists.” He’s their version of Eve, Allure realized. “Why are you telling us this?” Thrackerzod demanded. Valentine glared at her. “D4C’s method of multiversal travel has inherent within it a slight instability quotient. When traveling the multiverse via D4C, any alternate versions of the same individual who come into contact with each other will create a spatial paradox and explode into nothingness.” He leaned in toward them. “Isn’t that a horrible side effect?” “Are you threatening us!?” Squeaky declared. “I’m letting you know what I alone am capable of,” Valentine declared. “My powers as Ambassador could do more. I can cut off trade. I can feed you false information. I can round up all your ambassadors and have them executed.” “Empty threats,” Thrackerzod asserted. “…Analysis indicates he’s not lying,” Bot said. “You can fool that test.” “He would cut off trade,” Squeaky said. “It works for him. And we do have to ask… Are we willing to ruin connections with the USM over these cats?” Allure sucked in a breath of air, prepared for a long rant, but decided against it. She sighed. “Fine. You win, Ambassador. We won’t mess with what you’re doing. But I will let Eve know exactly what you’re doing. She’s not going to be happy.” “We aren’t ‘happy’ with anything any of you are doing,” Valentine pointed out. “But nothing will change so long as you take no action. You have my word.” He stood up, nodded to them, and used D4C to leave the universe. Froppy let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, ribbit.” Allure turned to her. “…Do you really believe what he says? About your way being the only right way?” “It’s done a lot of good,” Froppy admitted. “Though he was overselling it. Internally, the USM has a lot of problems with factions and infighting. I believe that, in general, what we do benefits the multiverse. But I know the real reason we do almost all of this is so we can get more power while the public applauds us for ‘saving’ people.” “That’s messed up.” “Tell me your system’s perfect.” “…Right,” Allure sighed. “Are those exploding guys okay?” Froppy smiled. “They’re fine, ribbit. Just as angry as always. Maybe vowing to kill you. I wouldn’t worry about it.” She started to hop away. “Right this way, we can send you back to Celestia City.” They followed her out. ~~~ Evening lowered the sun of Equis Vitis while standing on one of the many balconies of Canterlot. Princess Luna, standing alongside her, lifted the moon into position among the stars. Once again, it was night on Equis Vitis. Decades ago, this would have been an indication for the capital of Equestria to go to sleep. No such thing happened anymore – the city’s lights remained on, and the streets just as crowded. It was still day in other universes, so the activity of portals and ships never died down. “It’s harder to see the stars with this light,” Eve commented. “The city may be beautiful… But it’s taking away from the night.” “It is ironic,” Luna said, “that when ponies learn to appreciate the night, they lessen it.” “By a similar metric, they don’t appreciate the day either. It is just a setting for them to go about their lives. Very few take the moment to appreciate what’s around them.” “What a fool I was back then…” Luna shook her head. “Even if the night lasted forever, ponies would not understand. If only I had spent more time observing what ponies actually thought of the day…” Eve put a leg around Luna. The dark alicorn was still significantly taller than her, so she had to stretch to do so and angle her head in a slightly uncomfortable position so she could still see Luna’s mouth move. “That’s behind you.” “I’m aware. I’m also not dwelling on it if that’s what you’re worrying about. I’m just… struck by how insignificant it would have been, in the end.” “I think we both know there was more to what you did than just wanting the night to be appreciated.” Luna smiled sadly, looking up at the moon. “Yes… …Hold on…” “What?” “IS THAT A NEW CRATER ON THE MOON!?” Eve pulled back from Luna. “Hey, hey, calm do-“ “I will find whoever is responsible and ensure they suffer a fate so infamous it will go down in history…” “Luna… you say that every time.” “The fact that a pattern has developed clearly indicates more strict measures need to be taken!” she huffed. “The moon is not a pincushion!” “Of course not. It’s your symbol. I’m sure the systems around the moon have already picked up those responsible and given them what they deserve.” “I’m going to order the construction of a force field around the moon,” Luna muttered. “That’s… not a good use of resources.” Luna nodded slowly. “Yes… Yes, that is true.” She looked back up at the moon, a forlorn expression on her face. “You know, I go back there in my personal ship a lot. I find all the marks I made while on there, all the things I destroyed, and all the craters I made. The moon’s surface is a thousand years of my history, Eve. When it is destroyed or altered… it feels like part of me is personally defaced.” Eve nodded. “…Is there a way we can revert it?” “Who would think treating the entire moon like a restoration project would be worthwhile?” Luna asked. “Us, perhaps – but our ponies? It’s not a simple job, and beyond that it’s difficult. Destruction is easy.” “I’ll see about extending the satellite network then. Make the moon’s no-fly zone harder to get into. We can afford to let a couple ships patrol.” “And then someone uses an FTL jump to surpass all of that just because they can,” Luna pointed out. “The problem isn’t security, Eve. The problem is there’s always one person who just wants to do something because those in charge told them not to.” Eve sighed. “The moon’s just too big to protect. Unless we want to hide it in another universe, but that… Well, that would remove it from the night sky.” “How much power would a portal of that size require?” “About as much as it takes to get to Earth Tau’ri normally,” Eve concluded after a quick mental calculation. “We would have to replace it with another moon, from a dead world…” Luna began to muse. Then she laughed. “What are we even talking about Eve?” “Moving the moon?” “It strikes me as absurd that we could actually do that. We won’t, the ponies like their moon, but the fact remains we can. I used to think Discord had too much power…” “We could move all of Equis if we really wanted,” Eve pointed out. “I wonder how that would go…” “…I think you’re getting a little too tired, Eve.” Eve yawned. “Yeah… I’m turning in. Enjoy the night.” She nuzzled Luna’s neck as part of the farewell. After a few seconds, Luna turned to her. “Do you ever miss your castle?” “Sometimes,” Eve admitted. “But I need to be here – Canterlot should always be the home of the pony who raises the sun. Plus, it’s not like it’s uncomfortable or anything, and I trust Renee to take good care of things. I hear the Tree has started sending more of her agents on friendship missions!” “The Tree of Harmony has learned to trust her?” “I think it always trusted her and was just waiting for her to get settled in.” A smile crossed her face. “You know, it’s always fun when it calls humans. The symbols it comes up with… Jotaro’s is a square with a hand inside holding a pair of dolphins in a heart shape.” “What special talent could that represent?” “Punching and marine biology combination. I think.” “Interesting. You still need to sleep, Evening Sparkle.” “I’m going, I’m going,” Eve huffed, teleporting herself to her room. Luna continued to look at the night sky – avoiding the moon so as to not annoy herself. She looked at the Stars. “We have a lot of power now,” she addressed them. “Maybe not as much as you had, but certainly enough to warrant your attention. Why are you always so silent?” There was no response. ~~~ The core four Sweeties sat at a table in the League, staring off into space with forlorn expressions. “Sent the report to Renee,” Bot chirped. “…Now what?” Allure asked. “I feel… I feel like we’re not done. We’ve got to do something here. “If we fight the USM they will retaliate in kind,” Squeaky said. “We may not have to worry about a war, but there are many other things they could do. Many other things. They’re just as powerful as us, if not more so. And they are older.” Thrackerzod narrowed her eyes. “Age means little.” “You know what I mean. They have experience. More territory. We just have more friends.” Allure groaned. “Are we sure we can’t do anything to stop them?” “Not unless we want to risk their wrath,” Squeaky replied. “And it certainly seemed like Valentine was just the ruthless sort to go through with threats.” “He could be bluffing,” Thrackerzod pointed out. “We know he was in some of his threats.” “Not all of them.” “Yes…” Allure furrowed her brow. “What we need to do is find a way to solve the problem without him knowing we were involved… But how would we do that?” “Ask another nation or third party?” Thrackerzod suggested. “The Sparkle Census!” Allure piped up. “They care about things like this, right?” “They wouldn’t want to risk an incident either,” Squeaky argued. “Right… The Embodiment wouldn’t care… The Melnorme would have to be paid… Hrm, do you think we could trick Jenny into doing it?” “Excellent plan,” Thrackerzod deadpanned. “Not likely to backfire in any way.” “Right…” She leaned on her hoof, thinking deeply. “What else…” “Sombra,” Bot said. Everypony turned to look at her. “Sombra. She knows things, and likes to expose secrets that don’t benefit her.” Allure’s eyes widened. “Just direct her to the right secret and she’ll take care of the rest. Bot, you’re a genius!” “How do we get in contact with Sombra though?” Sparky asked. “She’s the kind of person who finds you, you don’t find her.” “Hrm…” Allure said, thinking deeply. “Bot, can you scour the internet?” Bot beeped sadly. “She hides too well. Already looked.” “Corona,” Thrackerzod said. “Corona knows how to get in contact with her.” Allure raised an eyebrow. “What’s Corona up to these days, anyway? I haven’t heard anything about her in… Well, months.” Bot whirred through her data banks. “Corona Shimmer is currently serving as the royal scientist for Lai under Queen Toph Beifong. Should be on Lai right now.” “Then we have a goal,” Allure declared. “We don’t have to do anything. We just suggest that Sombra does something. The cat world will have the USM influence jeopardized and they can get back to making their own decisions.” The other Sweeties nodded. “Right!” “Now we just have to charter a ship to Lai…” Allure smirked. “Thrackerzod, teleport us to the Skimmer.” Thrackerzod did as asked, teleporting them to a small six-seater ship they kept in the League’s basement. It was one of the simplest ship designs available – a simple flying saucer with a white disc and pink-tinted dome. Squeaky activated the teleporter and they appeared outside Celestia City. The messy ever-changing conglomeration was beautiful in its own way, glinting in the local star’s light. “I love this place,” Allure said out of the blue. “So… different.” “Yeah,” Squeaky admitted. “It’s nice.” The Skimmer created a dimensional portal and left USM space. ~~~ Queen Toph Beifong loved her job. Something just felt right about her being in charge of the lives of millions of adorable magic horses of varying races. She sometimes wondered if she was going evil, but Lady Rarity and Lieshy assured her she wasn’t. They told her she acted with a decisive, yet caring undertone. She wasn’t really sure how she was doing that, but apparently she was. Sure made things easier. Her enjoyment of becoming Queen was a bit of a surprise to her – she thought she’d miss all the adventures, all the new locations, all the action, and all the spontaneity. As it turned out, while there was a lack of new scenery in her new line of work, there were certainly adventures, action, and spontaneity aplenty. She was never bored with the abundance of magic, ancient runes, and colorful ponies in this world. Oh, and there were the ‘mighty warriors’ who thought they could challenge her to the throne through the ancient rite of combat. Those were really fun. Today it was a golden deer-unicorn with a number of magic artifacts embedded in his three cranial extrusions. He stood in the center of the throne room before Toph and her two advisors, Lady Rarity and Lieshy. “I am the great mage Golden Fir, and I challenge you for the right to the throne.” Toph smiled. “Of course! Where do you want to do it, Golden? Palace grounds? I could schedule it as part of the next coliseum show if you prefer an audience. There’s also the option of taking it offworld…” “I will fight you here, in this hall.” Toph’s smile vanished. “…But then I can’t have fun with you. Repair costs are demanding. Come on, let’s do it somewhere more open.” “I cannot wait a moment longer to face you,” Golden demanded. Toph raised an eyebrow – she suspected something was up. She looked to Lieshy and nodded. Lieshy pulled out a scanning device and began to examine it. “Are you afraid?” “No, merely checking to see if you have outside help,” Toph declared. “Lieshy?” “No more ticking.” Time won’t stop. “Right.” Toph drew the Master Sword and pointed it at Golden. “Are you ready?” “Yes.” “Then we start… now.” Toph hesitated for a moment, to ensure Golden would take the first move. He used all three of his magical points to send a laser surrounded in a whirlwind at her. Toph didn’t dodge – instead she made a chunk of the floor shoot up into Golden’s head to knock him silly. Golden’s laser hit Toph's armor. The pristine plates were magic resistant, so the attack should have done nothing, but Golden had prepared for that, somehow using a magic lock. Luckily the alloy was otherworldly and able to absorb most of the attack anyway. Toph went sliding back down to her throne for a rather cushy landing. She smiled – Golden was still dazed. The Queen pushed off the throne and swung the Master Sword wide, the holy blade cutting off Golden’s horn and antlers. He screamed for a few seconds before passing out from the pain. Toph sheathed the Master Sword. Lieshy put away her phone. “The ambulance will be here shortly to get those back on.” Toph took a piece of paper out of her pocket and pinned it to Golden’s ear. “The doctors know to make him read my ‘do not challenge again’ memo once he wakes up, right?” “They should. If they don’t, their jobs are on the line,” Lady Rarity decreed. “Nice. Now, if there are no further interruptions, we can finally go over that report on our moon colon-“ Lieshy’s phone rang again. She answered it, listening to a report without saying anything. She turned to Toph. “The League of Sweetie Belles is here to talk to you about something.” “This is either going to be quick, or absurdly long,” Toph mused. “If it’s the former it’ll be nice to see them, if it’s the latter I’m expecting epic quest. Let them in!” Lieshy relayed the message. Thrackerzod teleported the four of them into the throne room. Everypony except Thrackerzod bowed to Toph. “Your majesty,” Allure said. Toph grunted in amusement. “You know you don’t have to do that.” “It’s the proper way,” Squeaky said, looking up. “So, watcha wantin’?” Toph asked, sitting back down in her throne. “It’s… Embarrassingly trivial,” Squeaky admitted. “We can’t find Corona. We need to.” “Oh,” Toph said, pondering this. “She’s at her house. The pale orange house on Imperial Drive.” “Why isn’t she in her lab?” Bot asked, confused. “She…” Toph paused, pondering the question. “She’s taken to working alone,” Lady Rarity answered. “She does most of her work from home now. Pretty sure she has around three basements filled with things. She still sends reports to us and will go out when we ask for her, but otherwise…” “…She’s depressed?” Allure blurted. “How come nobody told us?” “It’s been this way for a while,” Lieshy said. “Ever since the Bloodbath. She’s improved somewhat but still prefers to keep to herself.” “Don’t worry,” Lady Rarity said. “We ensure she gets visitors and we drop by regularly. She’s doing fine, just needs to work through things on her own time.” “It’s been two years,” Thrackerzod pointed out. “You can’t force these things. She’ll come out when she’s ready, though when she does she is going to be a different mare.” “…Would it be bad to ask her for a favor?” Allure asked. “No, shouldn’t be,” Lieshy said. “She may or may not be excited to see you, but asking for a favor would be no problem. What were you going to ask her?” “We need to contact Sombra,” Squeaky answered. Toph, Lady Rarity, and Lieshy stared at her with blank expressions. “I take it that was the one thing we shouldn’t ask her.” “She…” Toph folded her hands together. “Let’s just say she and Sombra haven’t spoken in a long time as far as we know.” “You should still go ask,” Lady Rarity said. “If you want to contact Sombra, it must be important.” “Right…” Allure said, rubbing her head. “Ugh, today’s going to be a fun one… Thrackerzod, take us away.” The Sweeties were gone. Toph sighed. “I miss her being around.” Lady Rarity put a hoof on her. “I know. But we have to be patient.” ~~~ Corona sat on her couch, watching TV. That’s what she told herself she was doing anyway. In reality, she was laying on her couch, the TV was on, and she was staring at the ceiling with a lazy set of eyes. This was how she spent most of her time these days. That was, tell herself she was doing something – watching TV, running experiments, talking to people – but really just staring off into space somewhere else and blanking on everything. There wasn’t even really anything to think about. Just… stare. It took a lot less energy this way. A thought rose to the surface for a moment: did she need to check on her labs? No… They should all be autonomous for the next few hours. No data to collect… The next thought that surfaced was a question: did she even have any idea what was going on in the TV show she was watching? A documentary of some kind… Oh… Oh, it was on the differing histories of unicorn magic in the multiverse. Interesting. But she already knew most of that. The guy who was talking had a funny face though. She started staring into the face, zoning out on it. The scene changed, startling her perceptions. She didn’t make a big deal out of it, turning back to the ceiling again. Corona was relaxed, at least. …Was that the doorbell ringing? No, couldn’t be. Nobody was scheduled to come over and this wasn’t the time of day for an unscheduled visit. Definitely couldn’t be the doorbell. Why did she hear it again? …And again? That probably was the doorbell. She groaned, stumbling off the couch and falling onto the ground. “Ugh…” She had told Toph to make sure those door-to-door people didn’t bother her. This was really cutting into her… relaxing time. And she couldn’t have that. She was going to give these people a piece of her mind. She tossed the door open with her magic and a foul expression. “I to-“ she paused before she completed the second word, realizing it was just the League of Sweetie Belles. “Oh. Can’t say I was expecting you lot.” “We weren’t either,” Allure said. “Can we come in?” “Sure, sure,” Corona said, stepping aside to let them in. Her house was a decidedly chaotic mess with clothes dropped everywhere, boots spread out across the main living space, a thick coating of dust on top of a table or two, and Corona’s necklace dangling from one of the light fixtures. Meh, it’s a mess, who cares? Corona yawned. “Want anything? Wait… Nevermind. Fridge’s empty. Gimme a sec.” She grabbed a magic crystal from a nearby table and used the power within to create herself a bacon cheeseburger. She’d forgotten to have lunch, now that she thought about it. Huh. “Good stuff,” Corona said. “So, what brings you to my crazy abode? You need something from the labs?” “I don’t think so,” Allure said. “We need a favor that… probably isn’t very small to you.” “Ask away, it’s not like I’m doing anything important,” Corona commented. “Unless you count watching a documentary that doesn’t teach you anything important.” Allure didn’t know if she was supposed to laugh at that. “Uh…” Corona raised an eyebrow. “Girls, I’ll do anything for you. Just spit it out.” Bot chirped. “We need to contact Sombra.” Corona dropped what remained of her bacon cheeseburger. “…Right after I said I’d do anything.” “It’s really that bad?” Squeaky asked. “Let’s put it this way. She tried to get me out of this house for a few days. I told her no. There was shouting. That was eight months ago.” Corona shrugged. “Neither of us has called the other back, sooo…” “That’s not good,” Allure commented. Corona wanted to correct her, but she couldn’t bring herself too. “…No, it’s not. But I’m not exactly in the mood to call her right now, sorry.” Allure sagged. “It’s okay… We’ll think of something else.” The sight of three unicorns giving her sad eyes tore at Corona’s heart. Sweetie Bot still looked like a filly, which just heightened the effect. Corona put a hoof to her snout. “Wait, wait. At least tell me what you need your help for.” Thrackerzod cleared her throat. “The United States of the Multiverse is interfering with the natural course of a society made up entirely of cats. These cats are undergoing an internal civil war over the ‘old ways’ and the ‘new ways’. They asked us for help, but we eventually refused on the grounds that it was their decision. It was after this refusal we found out the USM was backing the side gearing toward a political ideology that matched their own. We were going to stop the USM from continuing with their plan, but Ambassador Valentine threatened all of Merodi Universalis with retribution if we continued to stick our faces in his business. So we’re seeking alternate methods of removing the USM’s hands from the world of cats.” “Sombra seemed like the best option that wouldn’t be traced back to us,” Squeaky added. I should tell them no. I should tell them I don’t feel like it. I really don’t, and there’s no way it can go well. There’s not any way I can even help them. This is what Corona thought consciously. However, a light within her that hadn’t been stirred in quite some time flared to life, grabbing a hold of her doubtful thoughts and pushing them back. You have to try. It’s the good thing to do. Corona sighed. “I’ll do it. I’ll call her. Tell me everything you know.” She levitated a pair of sunglasses from the top of a dresser and placed them on her face, activating them. “I’ll record all of it for her.” Allure smiled. “Thanks Corona. I know this is hard.” “Just tell me what I need to know.” “Right.Bot, see if you can replay Valentine’s conversation with us…” ~~~ Sombra’s current entertainment was the video feed of Celestia City’s town hall. Blumiere was walking down one of the many expansive rooms that held images of Celestia City’s culture, a commodity that the young city had no shortage of. To Blumiere’s side was his personal assistant – Vivian. “Blumiere,” Vivian called with a slight hint of annoyance. “We’ve got to talk about this!” “Trying to regulate Pinkies is a hopeless endeavor.” “They’re still fighting!” Vivian blurted. “We don’t want a Pinkie turf war on our hands!” “A turf war over cotton candy stands…” Blumiere put a hand to his nose and sighed. “The things we have to deal with here…” “Blumiere, this is nowhere near as weird as the time the third engine got a Stand and you know it.” Blumiere nodded. “Right… How many Pinkies are complaining?” “We have no idea, we’re certain several are complaining multiple times with expectations to game our system.” “At this rate I’m just going to have to ban cotton candy stands.” “One of the Pinkies is known to be unstable an-“ “That was a joke, Vivian,” Blumiere interrupted. “The solution is to get them all in the same room together, demand they all get licenses, and update the license system to beep when any stand is set up too close to another one. Done!” Vivian smirked. “You know they’ll make it difficult.” “They’re Pinkies. They make everything difficult.” Sombra sat back, a frown on her face. She had hoped that conversation would last a little longer. It was just getting good… INCOMING MESSAGE. The number of people who could contact Sombra from their side of the connection was exceedingly small. When she saw who it was, a sour expression came across her face. She let it ring for a while. “Hello, you’ve reached Sombra. I’m not able to come to the phone right now, so please leave a-“ “Sombra, cut it out,” Corona interrupted. “You don’t have an answering machine and you are never unable to come to the phone.” “Nice to see you too,” Sombra said, activating the cameras on Corona’s sunglasses to get a better image of what was going on. She was in her house, alone. Hell, her place is a mess. “Yeah…” “Going to apologize?” “Me!?” Corona. “You we-“ “Oh, would you look at that, the line is experiencing technical difficulties.” Corona visibly twitched. “I, I… Ugh, fine. Sombra, I’m sorry I shouted at you. You were just looking out for me and had my best interests at heart, for once.” “Good,” Sombra said, smirking. “Your turn.” “Oh no y-“ “This is a two-way street, Sombra.” “Fine. I’m sorry.” Sombra grunted. “For whaaaaat?” “For pushing you when you clearly didn’t need to be pushed. Happy?” “Very.” There was silence. Corona sighed. “You know, I feel better, but it still doesn’t seem like we’ve resolved this.” “Definitely not. Given the state of your room I’d say your funk has improved by about… nada.” “This is just a ph-“ “A-buh-buh!” Sombra interrupted. “Nope, whatever you were going to say, that isn’t it. You need to stop deluding yourself.” “Mmmmmf,” Corona crunted. “Why do I even talk to you?” “I dunno. Why’d you call?” “Right. …The League of Sweetie Belles has a problem only you can solve.” “Oh?” “They need to stop the USM from working in a world without risking the wrath of Ambassador Valentine.” Sombra grinned. “Sounds like my kind of challenge!” “Sending you the files now,” Corona said, pressing a button on the side of her sunglasses. “Apparently a world of cats is being nudged toward one type of government over another. The League wants them to figure it out on their own, and I’m sure you can guess what the USM does.” “Muricans love their patriotic democracy expansion,” Sombra guessed, sipping on a fruity drink while her free hand flew across her screens, scanning through the files. “Bingo.” “Oooh, what do I win?” “The mission you’re about to go on.” “What makes you think I’ll do this? You haven’t paid me, and I’m not exactly known for doing things out of the goodness of my heart.” Corona sighed. “…Think of it as an excuse to stick it to the man.” “Good enough for me,” Sombra said, fingers flying across her screens. “I’m getting some juicy stuff here… Oooh, the Muricans are going to haaaaate me. This is hardly their only secret…” “Hey, what else you do is up to you, just make sure those cats get released.” “That’s not going to solve much,” Sombra said. “They’re doing that to thousands of worlds at this moment, many with more direct military involvement. Most of it isn’t even a secret to their worlds. The ‘war’ against the space-age Russians is all over their news.” “It’ll do something though.” “Those cats will be thankful,” Sombra admitted. “Plus I’m sure I can bring a few others down… Might need to call in some favors. I’m going to have to let you go to do that.” Corona bit her lip. “Before you go… I uh…” “You already said you were sorry.” “It’s more than that. If you were any other friend, I’d say we should grab lunch sometime, talk things over… But you’re not exactly a no-“ “It’s a date,” Sombra said, marking her calendar. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow at some undisclosed time. I know a world where I won’t be found.” “Sombra this is not a date!” “Course not. Just said that to annoy you. And look, it got that fire back into your face!” Sombra smirked. “See you then, unless you have something to do tomorrow.” “…I’ve got nothing.” “Then adios amiga. I’ll do what I can.” She closed the channel, a genuine smile crossing her features. She would never admit it, but she’d been in a funk because she couldn’t talk to Corona. It looked like that was over. Now, she needed to contact one of the most powerful men in the multiverse… Sombra began the work of patching herself into a computer that should have been far too advanced for her to hack into. She knew it had been specially designed to give her – and just her – an easy in for precisely this sort of thing. Officially, there were only twelve Divisions of Merodi Universalis: Relations, Expeditions, Expansion, Cultural, Military, Research, etcetera. However, known to only those with the highest clearance, there was a thirteenth. The Intelligence Division, devoted to that which needed to be kept secret – and secrets that needed to be uncovered. The Merodi didn’t like secrets, and even kept most of their military research operations at least partially in the public eye, but Eve and the other founders had recognized the need for at least a few secrets. Hence, the Intelligence Division. The Head? A man by the name of Giorno Giovanna from Earth Stand, known for being the epitome of the oxymoronic “altruistic gangster” image. Sombra knew a lot about this man – he basically owned all of Earth Stand’s Italy, was a master of getting into organizations that didn’t want him, and had a soft spot for children. He was also the son of none other than Dio Brando, but nobody talked about that. “Ayyy, Giogio!” Sombra called through her connection to his Division. “Got something for you.” Giorno appeared on her screen – a man with bright blond hair that twisted into a number of small curls on his forehead. He wore his signature blue suit and ladybug pin. “What is it, Sombra?” “I’ve got a request from the League of Sweetie Belles to throw a wrench into the Muricans’ little political ploys. Specifically, I’ve been asked to remove their influence from a single world with cats.” She smirked. “I know we can do better than that.” “Give us everything you have on the USM, complete with analysis, and we’ll assist you.” “I love being a consultant,” Sombra chuckled, sending the files over without another word. “By the way, did you know Valentine had a multiversal Stand?” “It’s common knowledge.” “Do you actually know what it does?” Sombra asked. “Cause according to the League it can shatter alternate versions via contact. Terrifying.” “In a way,” Giorno said, narrowing his eyes as he considered the mission. “There are at least twenty worlds, similar to the cats, that have no idea of the USM’s involvement. All that needs to happen in those worlds is to tell the races what’s going on and they’ll become angry enough to drive them out.” “Have to do it carefully though,” Sombra cautioned. “Pretty sure the Sweeties will be upset if we completely discredit one side of the cat’s fight. Not that I’m against it, I’d just rather not have my first request from them fall through. I like repeat customers, you know.” Giorno tapped a finger. “There’s a way to do it. With this information, we could infiltrate the worlds and inform those being manipulated directly. That way it will look like the cats – and the other worlds – are just rebelling because they figured out the truth.” Giorno typed rapidly on a keyboard. “I’ll send this to the specialists. They’ll have a plan drawn up and sent back to you in a couple hours.” “You work fast.” “There’s no oversight,” Giorno pointed out. “We get to do what we want so long as the other heads don’t take issue.” “Fun times.” “You will have to work alone so the USM can’t trace any of this back to us,” Giorno said. “You tell me that like I think it’s a problem,” Sombra retorted. “Fair,” Giorno said. “I have to return to my work. I’ll send the files personally.” Sombra waved. “See you later Giogio!” The feed closed. Sombra sat back and smirked. It really was nice to not be hunted anymore. They had realized how useful she was. Kudos to Merodi Universalis. ~~~ A few weeks later, Allure got a message. Mission success. USM pulled resources back from Earth-W47 and twenty other worlds in similar situations. In all cases the given reason was ‘native rebellion’. They decided it wasn’t worth fighting in those worlds anymore. You’re welcome. Hope to do business with you again sometime. The bottom of the message held Sombra’s sugar skull. It winked – then deleted the message. Allure whooped and ran to the nearest Sweetie who knew about the mission. She ran to a couch Bot was sitting at. “We won!” “I know!” Bot declared. “TAKE THAT USM! We-“ “We didn’t do anything, remember?” Squeaky said, smirking. “We were just a bunch of unicorns who had nothing to do with this, but are happy it happened.” Thrackerzod appeared in a flash. “This feels very… very… satisfying.” “Yeah, it does,” Allure chuckled. “We beat ‘em girls! Hah!” The four of them entered a group hug. “I say we go out for drinks!” “Huzzah!” Bot declared. Thrackerzod teleported them to the nearest bar – a joint owned by a version of Berry Punch who looked and acted like a pirate. She went by Barry. The location in question was called “Juicy Plunder” and was constructed to look like a pirate galleon had crashed into the wall of an apartment complex. “YAR!” Barry called, recognizing the four of them. “Come on in, lasses! What’ll it be? Ah’ve got quite the special tonight!” “The usual,” Thrackerzod said. “And don’t skimp on the gn’ra’teh this time, got it?” “Arrrr, matey!” “Arrrr!” Bot echoed. The four took seats around a small, round table, and each of them were passed their drinks. Allure got cherry-infused wine, Bot got some viscous sludge made out of motor oil, Squeaky got sparkling champagne, and Thrackerzod got a glass filled with a liquid that had no color and tore at spacetime with every ripple. “I never get used to seeing that,” Allure commented. Thrackerzod smirked. “That’s the point. It’s an import from the Embodiment. I don’t know how Barry gets her shipments, and I’m not going to ask. It’s a taste of home.” She took a sip. Her eyes turned inside out for a moment and she burped out her ear. “Perfect.” “I think it has to be unhealthy for your body,” Squeaky commented. “It is. I have to reconstruct parts of it to make it go down. But Azathoth’s fifteenth eye it’s good.” “We’ll take your word for it,” Allure commented. “Hey! Valentine’s on TV!” Bot blurted, pointing at a television hanging from one of the walls. Valentine was, in fact, on TV, though it was just an image of him in a news report. The anchor was a version of Twilight Sparkle with an extra-short mane and sharper ears than standard. “Ambassador Funny Valentine’s press conference is causing waves in the multiversal community. To those in the USM, it may not have meant much, since it consisted almost entirely of foreign policy. However, for those of us in MU, we hung onto every word. The conference was over an hour long, but the main point of discussion was a new piece of legislature pushed by Valentine himself entitled the ‘Adapted Foreign Policy Motion’. The largest claim within this document is that ties with multiversal societies outside the USM will be cut significantly.” Allure’s stomach did a flip flop, her mood dropping like a stone. “The AFPM instigates a ‘beacon system’ similar to the agreement held between the University of Doors with the Sparkle Census and Merodi Universalis. The ‘beacon system’ will ask that all foreign powers refrain from entering the universe with intent to take action of any kind beyond contacting the USM. Trade between the USM and other powers will cease almost completely if the AFPM is enacted. In addition, all foreign persons currently in USM universes will be forced to return to their home nations.” Squeaky slammed her glass on the table. “Dammit.” “The AFPM has not passed yet, but current political trends within the USM suggest that it will. Given Valentine’s express backing of the change, it will likely process in under a month. When asked why the AFPM was being revealed now, Valentine cited the desires of the people to keep their nation their own.” “Liar,” Tharackerzod spat. “None of the other nations had given an official comment on the AFPM legislation.” “…I think we need to call Eve,” Allure said. “…Or go to her and plead forgiveness.” Thrackerzod sighed, tossing everypony’s drinks into an eldritch vortex. “I’ll wind up the Skimmer.” They once again left Celestia City behind, though this time they had the harrowing air of failure about them instead of hope. ~~~ Eve was panicking. It had been a long time since she’d had a good panic. She’d begun to think she had moved past having these attacks, but apparently she was wrong. She scrambled through the contacts she had in the USM on her phone. Valentine wasn’t picking up, neither was Froppy or most of the others she knew. The few who did answer didn’t know anything about the new legislation besides what had been mentioned in the press release. She really needed to get hold of the document. She’d even sent a request to Giorno to get it for her, but he had yet to get back to her. She was struck, for the first time in a long time, with a feeling of powerlessness. She couldn’t actually do anything. There was nothing to fight, all she could do was watch as the USM decided to sever ties with all of them. Eve had already called up the Melnorme and the Grand Secretariat. The Melnorme didn’t care and the Grand Secretariat had only been slightly less panicked than Eve was herself. What the hay was Valentine thinking!? There was no way this could be good for the USM… Not by any stretch of the imagination… Or could it? She’d been getting a few reports from Giorno as of late about things the USM did to new worlds. Questionable things she’d been planning on bringing before Valentine directly once she knew a little more. Had Valentine decided their presence was a threat? Or did he just not like them? Or… Or… Eve’s Second – a Sapphire who went by the name Cessera – tapped her on the shoulder. “The League of Sweetie Belles will arrive in about a minute.” “But there was no ca-“ Eve stopped herself, remembering that Sapphires could see the future. “Right, right. Cess, can you deal with them? I’ve got a lot on my plate.” Cessera nodded. “Of course. Are you sure you can actually do anything about the sizeable portion on your plate?” “I don’t know!” Eve blurted. “Were this anyone else, I’d just send a team in to deal with it! But the USM isn’t our friend, but they aren’t our enemy either. I just… Why do they have to be such a gray area?” “Might it be because they’re like us?” “Maybe…. Maybe…” The League teleported into the room. Allure took a breath. “Eve, we-“ Cessera held up a hand. “Evening is rather busy for an unscheduled meeting. You can speak with me.” She smiled warmly. “What’s the emergency?” Thrackerzod ignored her. “Eve, we may have caused Valentine to create the piece of legislation I’m sure you’re pulling your mane out over.” Eve stopped pulling out her mane and stared right at Thrackerzod. “…What did you do?” she said, sounding decidedly more menacing and upset than usual. Allure gulped. “We were asked to help this world of cats…” Over the next few minutes, she explained the events of the last few days. The others sometimes helped fill in the specifics. When they were done, Allure hung her head. “I’m sorry, Eve. We messed up.” Eve put her hoof under Allure’s chin and made her eyes look up. “You’re right. You did mess up. I’m pretty sure I would have made the same mistake in your shoes, though.” “Wh- Really?” “I’ve been getting reports about the USM’s practices,” Eve said. “They… Well they upset me, and I knew I had to do something. I wasn’t that far away from bringing it up with Valentine himself. I’m not sure if it would have gone quite this far…” She rubbed her head. I would tell them to talk it over with one of us in authority before going to Sombra, but the whole point of Sombra is not doing that. Not to mention I’m 90% sure Sombra consulted with Giorno on this one, so technically this is still our fault and… “You okay, Eve?” Allure asked. “Fine,” Eve said. “Well, no, not really, I’m stressed to the moon and back. I’m not sure how to fix this, or even if it can be fixed. If the USM is really that expansionist…” Could we have lived with them? I like to think we could have. Agh, so many what-ifs. ”I’ll talk to Valentine eventually, try to smooth this over. At least keep Celestia City there. I hope we can salvage the joint missions…” “We just got a message from Valentine,” Cessera called. “It’s a recording.” Eve took in a deep breath. Here it comes. “Play it.” “…Are you sure?” “The League can see this. They’re involved,” Eve declared. A screen on one of the walls lit up, showing Valentine sitting on the same couch the League had found themselves on only a few days prior. He had his hands folded and his eyes were squinted into a judging slit. “Dear Heads of Merodi Universalis and the core four of the League of Sweetie Belles.” He leaned in to the camera. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” Allure winced. “I know a covert operation when I see one. I’m fully aware it was the hacker Sombra who acted, but it is no secret that you are not actively pursuing her and it’s been long believed that her existence has proved unbelievably useful to you. Furthermore, she acted a relatively short amount of time after I warned the League of Sweetie Belles to stay away. Clearly, you just couldn’t keep your rotten hooves out of our business and had to take what seemed like a third option. An absolute moron could put two and two together.” Squeaky hung her head. “How did we not think of that…?” “I assume your government – and that of the Sparkle Census – is tearing itself up over my new piece of legislation. Let me make it abundantly clear: that legislation is going to pass. The beacon protocol will go into effect. The bridges you have made with us these last couple years have been burned. I will not tolerate other powers interfering where we have a foothold. Apparently I need to make that abundantly clear. I had hoped you would have been able to respect our ways, and we could have existed side-by-side without judgment. A wishful fantasy.” Thrackerzod growled, unsure of what to believe in his words. “If I know Evening Sparkle well enough, she’ll be trying to think of a way to undo this damage, to reclaim the ‘friendships’ that have been damaged. Rest assured, there will be none of that. It is clear that our ideals are in opposition.” Valentine spoke the next words with conviction. “You are the antithesis of what the USM stands for. You pretend that any form of government can work, that inclusion and acceptance are the ways to perfection. All that does is muddy the waters of what is right! You cannot have every world, you must choose one and follow that one to the ends of existence! It is the path of the patriot, the only real path there is!” He calmed himself, continuing to stare right back at the camera. “There will be no reconciliation. If you capture Sombra and imprison her, I will be forced to lift some of the sanctions. That will not repeal the changes. You’ve made your intentions clear, and we cannot stand by and let you contaminate us with your meddling intentions.” Bot glared. “Let’s see what your world thinks when we start spreading this video around…” “And if you’re thinking of spreading this video around, don’t.” He leaned into the camera. “If you take more action against us in retaliation, I promise the League of Sweetie Belles will have a Bloodbath of their own.” The video cut. Eve stared, jaw slack. “I… I never realized what a horrible man he was…” She shook her head. She sat down in her chair, looking at a wall. “I guess we really have to do nothing.” “…We have to let him get away with all this!?” Allure shouted. “That’s wrong!” “Yes, yes it is,” Eve said. “It’s very very wrong. But we still can’t do anything. If we try, the retaliations will only get worse and worse until there’s a full-fledged war. Could we win that war? I don’t know. But I don’t want that many deaths on my hooves over one universe.” She sighed. “This entire series of events is not to be revealed to the public in order to protect you.” Thrackerzod growled. “And the world reveals its sharp teeth once again. We must return to our lives as if nothing happened. Everything has to appear normal.” “Stupid!” Bot blurted. “Yes, stupid,” Eve admitted. “…But what needs to be done. I’m sorry.” She sighed. “Go back to Celestia City. I’ll keep you posted on what happens. Cessera, try to call Valentine again. I believe he’ll pick up now.” The League of Sweetie Belles, dejected, left. ~~~ Sombra blinked. She was now #1 on the USM’s Most Wanted list. Her first response was pride. She must have really ticked ol’ Funny just right to get there. It took about ten seconds for her to realize this was going to actually be a bit of a problem. If the entire resources of a multiversal society was out to get her… They might actually be able to find her. And then they’d give that information to the Merodi and demand they hand her over, or be accused of protecting her… She could see that spiraling out of control quickly. If Merodi Universalis was leveraged in just the perfect way by the USM, she was dead meat. She was going to have to revert to her old ways of being extremely paranoid and covering everything. Not even her ‘allies’ would be able to find her if they tried. ...Giorno probably could if he really wanted, but all signs pointed to the USM still having no idea he even existed, so that gave her at least one out. Things were going to get more than a little complicated… She laughed – this was going to be fun. She decided to get right on it – bouncing her signal off a dozen proxies through hundreds of universes. It was time to toy with someone. She found a screen in a hallway Valentine was walking through. “Heeeeeeeeeey!” She called. “Amigo, hold up!” Valentine stared at her. “TRACE THE SIGNAL!” he barked into a hidden communicator in his ear. “Yeah, that’s not going to work,” Sombra commented. “Nothing works but this screen!” She held her arms wide and chuckled. “You want to declare war, Funny? Because the Merodi won’t fight, but I will.” “I have promised to extinguish the League of Sweetie Belles already.” “Oh, but I feel like acting on my own, without any sort of mission! After all, you did just set your entire government to hunt me. That was you, right? Cause we all know the president doesn’t care at all about what happens outside the borders.” Valentine narrowed his eyes. “I will have Corona assassinated.” Sombra’s kept her smile, but inwardly her confidence plummeted like a rock. She couldn’t formulate a response. Valentine continued. “I have the resources, don’t you doubt it Sombra. You are not to interfere with any of our operations. Do I make myself clear?” Sombra cut the transmission, unwilling to go on with that. It had been quite some time since someone had stunned her into silence… She called Giorno. “I’m going to have to pull out of the USM observation network. It’s up to you now.” “Too much heat?” Sombra sighed, tapping her fingers on her desk. “He’s got my number, Giogio.” “I understand. We shall take over.” “…Yeah…” Sombra said. Anger was building inside her. She was going to find a way to get back at Ambassador Funny Valentine one of these days… ~~~ Goldsire sat in the middle of a forest. It was raining. Drystar walked up to him, a pained expression on her face. “Why did you call me here?” Goldsire asked. “We’ve been manipulated,” Drystar said. “The Muricans… They were guiding us like mindless kittypets into cages. They saw a spark in us and wanted to twist it to what they thought was right. I… I hate to admit it, but I think most of this conflict was their fault. Manipulating things behind the scenes…” Goldsire was surprised at what he was hearing. “Did… Did you know about this?” “No! I thought we had gotten lucky with those technology caches and those coordinates! And…” She shook her head. “We’ve been lied to. Both of us.” Goldsire looked to the sky. The moon poked through the rain clouds. “…What terrible mouths they must have.” Drystar was silent. “What do we do now?” Goldsire asked. “Talk,” Drystar said, looking into Goldsire’s eyes. “Let’s talk this through.” Goldsire smiled sadly. “…I’d like that.” And so they talked. That night would become known as the night the war ended.