//------------------------------// // Pensacola: Turbofans // Story: The Roommate // by totallynotabrony //------------------------------// Sleep was difficult to find Friday night.  Rainbow, in my body, couldn’t use her own CloudBed.  Even when I tried to use it, not being used to wings had me rolling over and over trying to find a comfortable position.  I kept finding new itches cropping up, split between my hair, feathers, and clothes. Maybe I should have gone naked.  Rainbow wouldn’t have minded, though now that she’d been living on Earth for several years, she’d gotten into the habit of usually being dressed.  I was still wearing her Navy-issue t-shirt and a pair of gym shorts she wore beneath her flight suit. When I got up in the middle of the night, I glanced through the slightly open door of my bedroom and saw her lying there fully covered, apparently chilly.  The clothes she’d discarded were lying across the floor. But I was soon distracted with the problem of taking a late night leak using a new body.  The smooth tile and plastic of the bathroom reminded me of the problems Rainbow had earlier while wearing socks.  Fortunately, I didn’t fall too hard, too often, or in the wrong places. I took extra care to keep my tail where I could see it. It was a good thing that I was sleepy, because these pronouns, my body, was still really weirding me out. I did manage to sleep a little and woke up late to sunshine and birds chirping.  Sitting up in bed, I took a moment to stare at my hooves and reflect. The anxiety was still there, but I’d gotten over the shock. I did a slow scan up and down, touching things, moving muscles.  The sensations were much different. There were fewer fingers and toes to keep track of, but so much else.  Opposable ears. A tail. Wings. I’d touched Rainbow’s wings before, rarely.  Most pegasi were sensitive about them, apparently.  I tried spreading the feathers, attempting to straighten a few that had gotten mussed overnight.  If I concentrated, I could feel each individual shaft anchored in the skin. Something else came to me and I let go of my wings.  Ponies were mamilian, and other than things I’d already inspected, there wasn’t a lot of difference in the basic structure and organs.  I’d just remembered the Jacobson’s Organ that equines and many other animals had that humans did not. It was an auxiliary olfactory sensor.  Not exactly a second nose, but another way of detecting smells, primarily pheromones. I assumed the expression.  Animals in the process of mating often made a doofy-looking face with the upper lip curled back and the top teeth exposed.  I felt air go someplace it hadn’t before as I breathed in, sort of at the roof of my mouth. Things smelled a little bit different. I don’t know what I was expecting.  There wasn’t anything in particular, especially not someone else’s pheromones, to be smelled while sitting alone in a room. I heard movement and straightened my face before Rainbow came stumbling into the room.  “Morning,” she mumbled. “I hope you slept better than me. Even without the wings, your bed is hard.” “Maybe,” I said.  “I didn’t have it easy getting comfortable, either.”  I averted my eyes. “Why don’t I make coffee and you get dressed?” She looked down.  “Oh. Oh.” Rainbow is not a morning pon-er, person. Out in the kitchen, I struggled a little with the coffee filters, but other than that it wasn’t too difficult to get the pot brewing.   I heard the shower turn on.  That wasn’t a bad idea. I hadn’t considered it with the excitement yesterday.  The water ran for perhaps five minutes and then stopped. I supposed it was easier to clean smooth skin. Rainbow came out a few minutes later wearing loose jeans and a faded college t-shirt.  I passed her a cup of coffee, five sugars as she liked it. She took a sip. “This is sweeter than usual.” I tasted my coffee, made how I liked it.  I could barely detect the single sugar. “I guess that explains why ponies are always eating sweets but never gain any weight.  Just a part of the diet. Lucky.” I pushed my cup of coffee across the table and Rainbow reciprocated.  I think we both liked it better after that. We sat for a few minutes in silence, just drinking coffee. “So what are we doing today?” I asked. “I didn’t have anything planned today.”  Rainbow’s eyes suddenly went wide. “But I was planning to go see A.K. Yearling tomorrow!  She’s doing a book signing.” I’d never read a Daring Do book, but I knew that author by reputation, particularly with all the novels around Rainbow’s room bearing her name. “We still can,” I said.  “Maybe we’ll even be fixed tomorrow.” “Okay, but-”  Rainbow paused, and then continued in a different tone of voice.  “She probably remembers me. We’ve met before. If we aren’t back in the right bodies, I’ll tell you what to say.” I nodded and took another sip of coffee.  I’d seen Rainbow fangirl over things before.  This seemed somewhat different. I wasn’t sure why, but I let it go. Rainbow went on.  “But just in case Twilight doesn’t walk through the front door with a spell that will fix things in the next ten seconds, I think we should set some rules.” “Ground rules?” Her eyebrow quirked, indicating her displeasure at my joke.  I think she’d picked up that expression from her friend Applejack.  What was interesting was that I had never been able to do it in my own body. “What kind of rules?” I asked. She paused, but then said, “No sex.” “It’s not like you know anyone to have sex with,” I said. “Neither do you,” she shot back. I sighed.  “Fine, no sex.”  Though, the back of my mind was suddenly hit with an image of what Rainbow might do with fingers.  I stared at my coffee and hoped there was enough hair on my face to hide a blush. I decided to change the subject, to something else I was thinking about.  I looked at her over my coffee cup, balanced precariously between my hooves.  “Can you teach me to fly?” “Well,” she said, “Normally you want to learn how to drive a Hyundai before you go for the Ferrari, but I guess we can make it work.” “If you’re a Ferrari, who’s a Hyundai?” She considered it, putting her middle finger to her chin.  I guess that was the one with the bones most directly equivalent of a hoof, but it could lead to awkwardness in the future.  “Nopony you’d know. Fluttershy is more of a Subaru.” I scratched the back of my neck, though the rough edge of her hoof only seemed to exacerbate the itch.  “If we can’t get swapped back by the end of the weekend, I might have to get her to cover for me at the clinic.  Or at least teach me how a pegasus is supposed to be a vet.” Talking about not getting swapped back put her off her mood again.  She finished her coffee in one slug and leaned closer to me. “We should get these feathers straightened out.”  She paused. “Though you’ve actually been wearing the same clothes I put on yesterday morning, so maybe a shower first.” Probably not a bad idea.  I finished my coffee and got up. “Be careful in the shower.  Hooves are slippery on wet tile,” she warned me. “Maybe getting shod would fix that.” She gave me a look.  “That’s an extra two pounds.  Plus, you know we’ve had the conversation about steel shoes and wood floors.” “And you know that shoes also come in rubber.” “I just don’t like the idea of nails being hammered into my hooves.” I looked down, my mind involuntarily equating it to needles being shoved under my fingernails.  “Okay, yeah.” I headed for the shower. Getting naked, despite ponies usually being comfortable that way, was not comfortable to me.  It wasn’t my body. I did my best not to make it weird.  Still, there’s only so much you can touch someone’s body without it getting weird. I distracted myself with biological thoughts.  For example, I didn’t know what soap would do to a pegasus’ feathers’ natural oil.  Instead, I just rinsed with water. For the mane and tail, I used Mane ‘n Tail. I gave myself what I thought would be a quick scrub, forgetting that hair everywhere complicated things.  It took a while to rinse and get soap residue washed out. Drying took another while. After I was done, I went back in Rainbow’s room to get dressed.  On the way, I stepped over her tortoise, Tank. He looked up and I rubbed his shell gently like I had seen Rainbow do.  We usually just let him roam the apartment, because what trouble is a tortoise going to get into? I didn’t know how conscious he was of the world, but unless he was capable of asking me if I was really Rainbow, I wasn’t going to bring it up. Though I probably made him wonder as I stepped to the closet and opened it.  “Let’s see what we have here…” Nothing I would have worn, really.  Mostly military clothes. One or two extravagant outfits probably probably put together by Rarity were sealed in plastic and unlikely to ever be worn again. To my surprise, though, Rainbow actually owned a simple dress.  It was off-white with a simple pattern. It took some time to figure out the leg and wing holes. Back in the living room, Rainbow looked up.  “You’re wearing that?” “It’s the loosest thing you own.” She shrugged.  “I’m already committed to my loss of image awesomeness this weekend, so whatever.” She stood up, still a little wobbly but getting better.  “Anyway, I can’t just sit around. Let’s go for a walk or something, anything.” “Flying?” I asked, hopeful. She hesitated, but nodded.  “All right. A big open space would be best.  The beach.” “Okay, but I am not committed to my loss of modesty this weekend.”  I gestured. “Put on some underwear.” Rainbow’s eyes widened.  “How did you know?” I tilted my head and just stared at her. “But it’s even more uncomfortable and complicated than just your clothes.” I kept staring. “Fine.”  She went back into the bedroom, for quite a bit longer than I would have thought necessary, but she came out decent. We walked downstairs, both of us a little better at it than the day before.  However, upon reaching the ground floor, I looked out the window and saw a car pulling into the lot. “I forgot about the appointment today!  They came to pick up their cat!” I jumped for my lab coat hanging up in the clinic and grabbed for it, only just barely remembering that I needed to keep at least three hooves on the ground to avoid falling over.  Of course, the other hoof didn’t really work to pick up the coat. Instead, I turned to Rainbow. “Put this on! They’re coming in!” I ducked past Rainbow again and headed for the door, belatedly realizing I was going to have the same problem with the deadbolt.  I still gave it a shot, trying to rear up to reach it, but my back hooves slid across the tile. “You come get this.  Greet them, let them in.  I’ll get Mr. Paws.” I ducked back past Rainbow and headed for the holding cages. Mr. Paws was awake, and I slowed down, trying not to scare him.  “Hey kitty kitty…” They don’t teach you how to talk to animals in vet school.  I just made it up as I went along. The cage door was a squeeze-type latch, and I managed to get my mouth to open it.  Still making soft sounds, I reached one hoof in. For the first time all day, something went right and Mr. Paws didn’t freak out.  I lifted him as gently as I could and walked three-legged back out front. Rainbow and the two customers were there.  I had apparently arrived before any awkward silences could start.  The little girl smiled and accepted the cat from me. “He’s going to be hungry,” I said.  He also may want to sleep a lot. Try not to disturb him for a couple of days.” “You seem to know a lot,” the mother commented. “Intern,” said Rainbow. She gave me an odd look, apparently the dress not fitting her image of a vet intern.  Also, maybe she remembered Rainbow in uniform the previous day. Rainbow, however, turned to me. “Okay, pop quiz.  What do we do next?” Playing along, I said, “The bill.  I’ll go get it.” I’d left the receipt book out last night and brought it over to Rainbow.  She mock-quizzed me on the information to fill in. Her hand on the pen turned it into an illegible scribble, but hey, I was a doctor. She carefully tore the receipt out and exchanged a check with the mother.  She and her daughter headed for the door. “Thanks Doctor Denise!” said the little girl, waving.  Instinctively, I returned the gesture, though so did Rainbow. Rainbow and I both heaved a sigh as they left.  Rainbow pulled off the lab coat. “Well, that could have been worse.  I don’t know if I could do this forever. What if Twilight can’t get us fixed by Monday?” “I think it would be best if we came clean.  We couldn’t hide it forever.” “What about just one more day?  I could maybe tell everyone I was too sick, that I got some weird Equestrian disease and was puking everywhere and couldn’t leave my bed.” I considered it.  “I did have a few appointments on Monday, but I could maybe cancel them.  I can even sign as your doctor if it came to it. But neither of us can afford to drag this out too long.” “Yeah,” she sighed.  She glanced out the window, at the sunshine, and turned back to me.  “So...flying?” I instantly forget everything else on my mind. We headed for the beach - walking.  Rainbow was still a little unsteady, but thank God frost heave wasn’t a thing in Florida and the sidewalks were flat. The sand presented another problem and she stumbled a little, kicking the sand up and getting some in her shoes.  My shoes. There were people around, it was Saturday, after all, but most of them didn’t spare us more than two or three glances. The breeze was light today and I turned my nose into it, trying to feel how it moved across the skin and hair.  I tried lifting my wings, attempting to mentally connect a sensation I didn’t have an analogy for. “I don’t know if this’ll work,” said Rainbow.  “I have no idea if innate pegasus magic stayed with me or my body.  I guess even without it, you should be able to get at least a little bit of lift.” She touched the leading edge of my wing gently with her fingers.  “Think of this like the slicing edge that grabs the air.” Moving her hand back across the primaries and secondaries, she said, “This is where you’re going to feel it come to rest with each stroke.” She ran her hand to the wing joint and down my side towards my sternum, running across the pectoralis pegasus muscles that powered the wing.  “And this is where the effort comes in.”  She poked and my wing on that side twitched downwards, despite the firmness of the muscle.  She smirked. I guess I’d never really thought about it, but this really was like getting to drive a Ferrari.  I knew Rainbow was one of the fastest pegasi alive, and on a good day could outrun some jets. But I also knew that I didn’t have a hope of controlling that kind of ability with just a quick lesson, and so stuck to the basics. I started to flap gently, feeling how the air moved across the feathers, and slowly increased the speed.  I started to blow a little sand around. Rainbow said, “Speed is fine, but you also have to…” she waved her hand “put a little effort into it.  Like, concentrate on actually doing something.” I guess I could sort of see what she meant.  I tried to subtly cup the feathers to catch the air and concentrated on putting more force in the strokes.  Inching up the effort, my hooves got light and gradually lifted out of the sand. I knew a little about ground effect, mostly via osmosis from Rainbow, and concentrated on applying enough power to gain actual flight.  I also tried to subtly directionalize the thrust. Remembering slow-motion videos of birds probably didn’t help much here, but I think it helped me understand the overall concept.  Rainbow, with an engineering degree, probably understood force vectors better. For a couple of minutes, I worked myself up, gradually going higher and faster, and learning to turn.  Balancing carefully, I was able to fly circles of perhaps fifty feet radius around Rainbow. I noticed a few more people glancing my direction now. “Stretch your legs out for less drag,” she said.  “Like Superman.” I did, and also tried going a little faster, the force of the turn starting to put pressure on my wing joints.  I wasn’t sure how fast I was going, but probably faster than I could run on two legs. The wind was really blowing my mane around now, sometimes getting in my eyes as I looked down at Rainbow, who had shaded her eyes and was turning in place, looking up at me.  She was going to get dizzy if she kept that up, so I decided to switch things up. Peeling out of the circle, I headed off down the beach for a hundred yards, turned hard, and came back, doing my best impression of speed that I had yet mustered.  I actually surprised myself, though I was still a long way from what Rainbow could do. Passing her, I straightened my wings and tried gliding.  The speed I’d built up kept me going, and I tried a high turn to come back, spiraling up. “Down!  Get down here!” Rainbow shouted. “Huh?”  I straightened out and began my descent, when suddenly it felt like a bomb had gone off right behind my head. My breath hitched, but I managed to not spasm so hard that I fell out of the air.  I still landed kind of hard on the sand though, looking up to see a rapidly-departing blue jet.  “What the-” “The Blues practice here sometimes,” said Rainbow, also looking after where the jet had already disappeared down the beach, flying only a few hundred feet above the sand. “How did you hear it coming?  I thought pony ears were supposed to be better.” “I didn't.  It was going so fast the sound only arrived a second or two before.  I was just paying attention, because I know this is a route they use a lot.” She shook her head.  “Sorry, I should have said something.  I’m sorry.” She put her hand on her chest and frowned.  “I...feel like I need a smoke?” “Probably,” I said.  “I would.” I let out a breath, my face and chest still flushed with adrenaline.  I was starting to lather, too, but I figured that was mostly due to exertion.  “Maybe no more flying today.” I nodded towards the surf. “Want to go for a swim?” “Easy for you to say.  Nobody cares if ponies are naked.” “That’s another reason I told you to wear undergarments.  Instant bathing suit.” She shrugged and started undressing.  To avoid watching that and the awkwardness it would cause, I turned away to do the same. We made sure our clothes were secure and waded in.  The feeling of soaking up water while being completely naked was new.  Rainbow kept herself pretty well trimmed, but that was still a lot to soak up.  At least pegasus wings were fairly weatherproof. I was pretty much limited to the doggy paddle, or something like it.  Maybe there were advanced pony swimming techniques. I tried using my wings, but they were never meant for straight-ahead thrust or such a viscious medium. Also, my mane was in my eyes again. At least I wasn’t having Rainbow’s problems.  Unused to hair as long as I’d grown mine, she didn’t have the instinct to hold her head to keep it back when coming out of the water and it was going everywhere.  She, too, was pretty much limited to the doggy paddle. Swimming didn’t accomplish a whole lot, but it was good to cool off and take a moment to relax after the scare earlier.  We both decided that we’d had enough after a few minutes. We made the short walk back and went back upstairs to shower off the salt and sand. Coming out of the shower, it took a long time to dry off.  I anticipated that, but it still took some effort to work all the water out of my coat with the towel. Rainbow traded places with me in the shower and was done in a considerably shorter period of time than I had taken. Coming out, she said, “So, are we thinking lunch?  I mean, I know I am.” “Is either of us going to cook?” “Heck no.” “Okay, so who’s driving?” That hung her up for a moment, before she shrugged.  “I will.” “We could just call an Uber.” She waved a hand. “No, I’ve got this.” She grabbed her keys and we headed back downstairs. Rainbow had bought a red Camaro a few months previously, upon joining the military.  She always complained that people kept asking her why she didn’t get a Mustang. She had the pony-specific interior option.  The steering wheel had a thinner rim so hooves could fit between the spokes, and larger buttons.  The seat was shaped differently and had a cutout for the tail. The side bolsters were smaller, to provide room for wings. She plopped her human body into the car, frowning at the lack of space for her legs.  I guess the pedals were also a lot closer. She adjusted the seat backwards, but still didn’t look comfortable. “I could drive.” “No, I’ve got this.”  She started the car. I sat in the passenger seat.  My hooves didn’t reach the floor and my head didn’t quite meet the headrest.  I felt like a child buckled into a seat too large for me. I distracted myself by looking across the dashboard and at a curious piece of electronic gear.  “What’s that?” Rainbow looked at me and grinned.  “It’s my dashcam.” “Did you seriously get that just to make that pun?” “Well, no, I got it to film myself driving fast, but I have been waiting a while for someone to ask.” She headed off down the street.  I forgot to ask where we were going until we were already pulling into the parking lot. McGuire’s Irish Pub was a huge building for a restaurant.  It had to be. Walking in, I saw the supposedly one million individual dollar bills stapled to the ceiling.  The place had a totally unique aesthetic. A waitress found us a seat.  When we were alone, I said, “Did we really have to come here?” “You were hungry and I think we both need a drink.” The pub wasn’t crowded at the moment, but it was still a Pensacola landmark.  Everybody went to McGuire's. Somebody could see us. The last thing we needed was a conversation with someone we didn’t know.  Or worse, someone we did. “If we're drinking, who's driving back later?” She frowned, looking at her fingers.  “Okay, fine. Being sober would also probably help with the problem at...hand.” “I just hope Twilight gets back to us soon.” “Yeah.” We looked at the menus after the waitress dropped them off.  Salads came in large size. Across the table, I saw her finger hovering over the steaks.  For some reason, I found that amusing. Then she ordered one and I realized just how weird this whole thing had gotten.