A/N: For those of you that want progress on the shipping, tough shit, I ain't telling you.

But for those of you that want more story, I happily present to you the longest chapter yet! Again! Please note that this chapter was an absolute bitch to write, so feedback is appreciated as always. Read on and enjoy!

Today I learned something new: Twilight likes to get up... early. As in really early. As in like, seven thirty kind of early.

I groggily opened my eyes and saw that the ceiling was four feet from my face. “Wha... where am I …?”

I looked to my side. Rainbow was gone, along with her bag. “Where'd Dash go?”

“She's down here, along with the rest of us. You're the only one who hasn't gotten up yet. Well, besides Spike.”

You'd think the fact that the ceiling was so close would remind me where I was, but no. I rolled over, forgetting I was on top of a bookshelf, and I may have accidentally rolled over the edge. It was a good, well-made, wooden floor too.

Well that takes care of my headache for the day. And to think I would have a normal morning for once. Silly me.

The spot where I had landed was conveniently right next to Spike who, true to Twilight's word, was still in bed. He cracked one eye open and looked at me. “See? Told ya the floor was better.”

Fluttershy was the first to arrive at the scene. “Oh my goodness, are you okay?”

“Fluttershy, I'm fine. Trust me. Anyway...” I turned over and my eyes focused on Twilight, who was standing right next to me. “... why did you wake me up again?”

“Spike's a baby dragon, he needs his rest. You, on the other hoof, are an adult. Get up.”

I looked over Twi's shoulder at the rest of the girls. Pinkie was full of her usual amount of energy (It's over 9000!), Applejack was looking wide awake and ready to tackle the day (That doesn't count, she lives on a farm. Don't they get up early on farms?), Rarity was fixing her hair (mane, whatever) with a mirror and comb, and Dash looked... actually, she kind of looked like she was recovering from a hangover or something. She must be tired too.

“So... let me get this straight...” I re-focused on Twi. “... you want me to get up... at seven thirty... seven-thirty... on a Sunday?”

I stared at her for a little while longer. She looked back with a completely straight face.

Without another word I collapsed back into my sleeping bag and buried my face in the pillow. “Wake me up in another three hours.”

“Well... let's face it Twi...” Rainbow mumbled. “... you do get up kind of early compared with the rest of civilization...”

“I must agree with Rainbow Dash Twilight. I've pulled all-nighters before, but getting up this early does absolute horrors to my mane. Just look at all these knots!” A distressed Rarity showed Twilight her mane, which was apparently full of invisible knots that only she could see. “It's an abomination when it's like this!”

“Well AH think that Flame here is just bein' silly. There's nothing wrong with getting' up a bit before everypony else! It gives ya a good head-start on the day!”

I turned my head to look at Applejack. “And just how early are you used to getting up?”

“Yeah, see, there's the thing. I get up at around ten-thirty or eleven normally. If there's anything important happening today that I must attend to, please, by all means, wake me up, but you'll excuse me if I don't change my sleeping schedule just to suit you guys. Now if we're done here, I have an appointment with Mr. Sandman.”

“Then I obviously don't count as a pony in this society. Thank you for the huge boost of self-esteem.”

As it turns out, I did end up caring. Spike got up at around eight and went into the kitchen to prepare said breakfast. Apparently the job of 'assistant' also included cooking. After about twenty minutes, he came out with a plate stacked about two feet high with pancakes, no joke. They also (annoyingly) smelled really good. I tried to resist them for as long as possible, but I only made it about three minutes before my stomach started growling. And when that happens, it's basically me admitting defeat.

I forced myself out of bed and lazily made my way to the table, which was more of a reading table with a sheet on it then anything else. As I sat down, Spike grinned at me.

This proved to be correct, which still infuriates me to no end. As soon as I tired my first pancake, any thoughts of sleeping vanished and I happily sat there and ate any that were put in front of me. Sort of like a brainwashed person.

When I finished, Twilight immediately suggested a game of 'I Have Never', which I declined. I had had enough crazy shit for one party. I instead elected to leave, on the grounds that I had to 'go do something somewhere', which I'm pretty sure clued everyone in on to what state of mind I was of. Sorry and all that, but I was done with the slumber party.

After promising that yes, I would visit soon, I was allowed to leave. Stepping outside, I noticed that it was slightly colder at this time then when I would usually get up. Just another reason to sleep in. I should note that to Twilight sometime.

I opted to walk rather then fly, as I was feeling particularly lazy this morning due to the six or so pancakes that I ate (What? Those things were good). I headed toward the market place, as that was the biggest open area I could find. Surprisingly (at least to me), most of the stands had already been set up and there were already at least ten shoppers going about (barbarians), buying random things (Like food. Seriously, who buys that in the morning?), carrying their goods in saddle bags and yelling at each other when one bought something the other one had wanted (which was, quite frankly, hilarious). I mean, I know the sun was out already but c'mon! It's like, nine or something! WHY IS EVERYONE AWAKE!?!

Great, five minutes into the morning and I'm already losing my mind. Ya happy now Twi?

I noticed three girls near a set of crates by one of the houses. I identified them as the so-called 'Cutie Mark Crusaders', the group of girls that went about doing random stuff in order to get magical tattoos on their asses once they discovered their special talent.

When you think about it, it translates into something along the lines of 'Best Club Ever'.

They were apparently trying to gain forceful entry to one of the crates by prying one of the sides off. The crate must have been empty too, as none of the passersby seemed to care. The yellow one (Okay let's see here... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Apple Bloom. Got it.) had somehow gained possession of a crowbar (Ponyville is screwed) and was using it to help in the prying. She had gotten a corner free, and now the other two girls (No, I don't remember their names. Sue me.) were helping out using their forelegs. At this point, I decided I'd better find out what they were planning.

What I want to know is why nobody thinks its strange for three kids to be prying open random boxes with a crowbar at 9 AM in a public place. Is this normal or something? Or should I be scared?

I trotted over. “Hey girls. Watcha doin'?”

The orange one with the purple mane (Scoota-something?) looked up. “Oh, hey mister! We're just trying to get our cutie marks by being 'Crate-Fort Designers'!” She heaved once again, but the side of the crate didn't budge. “We haven't had much success though.”

The white gave me a closer look. “Say... aren't you that one guy that gave us the idea for... 'free-running' or something like that?”

“Ah remember that! That was fun!” Apple Bloom toke a moment from using the crowbar to give a huge smile. Then her face fell. “Too bad we didn't get our cutie marks though.”

“No offense or anything, but just why are you three so obsessed with getting your cutie marks?”

At least the white one (Yes! I remember now! Sweetie Bell!) was truthful about it. “We're the only ones in our class who don't have them yet.” Though this didn't really help.

“How does you being the only ones without magical tattoos make a difference?”

They all looked at me like I was stupid. “Y'know! We're all blank flanks!”

Is it too much to ask for someone to give me a SINGLE. FRICKING. STRAIGHT. ANSWER?

“Seems to me you shouldn't really be caring about what some kid who's most likely a troll thinks about you.”

“No, I mean-” I resisted the urge to facepalm. “Y'know, trolls. Trolling. That kinda thing.”

“Trolling?” Apple Bloom was suddenly looking interested, which probably should of tipped me off to stop talking, but it didn't. “What's that?”

I sighed. “Basically, it's irritating and provoking people to get a reaction, mostly for fun.”

“Hey guys!” Scootaloo seemed to have caught on to Apple Bloom's train of thought, which I had yet to grasp. “Maybe we can get our cutie marks in trolling!”

“Yeah!” Now Sweetie Bell was in on it too. “That's something we haven't tried before!”

“And it would be much easier then doin' this.” Apple Bloom gave the crowbar another tug. No luck. “Ah don't think this crate is gonna break anytime soon.”

“It's settled then!” Scootaloo shot me a huge smile, which do to my state of shock, I missed. “Thanks for the idea mister!”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders skipped away. As they left, they let out a collective shout: “CUTIE MARK CRUASDERS, EXPERT TROLLS!!! YAAAAHHH!!!” If it weren't for my current state of mind, I probably would've died of laughter right then and there.

I stayed there for a while, the two sides of my mind battling it out. Finally, I sighed and turned back down my route to the Everfree.

“Yay.” I muttered, rubbing my forehead. “Now Ponyville is double-screwed.”

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So, skipping ahead to me in the Everfree. I had changed back into a dragon (Ahhhhh, it feels great to be able to smash stuff again.) and was reminiscing on my encounter with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I just could not get the image of Apple Bloom with a trollface cutie mark out of my head.

I entered the clearing and found exactly what I had expected to find: Manty lounging in a patch of sun created by the clearing.

Seeing as how Manty wasn't in a talkative mood, I located my pack and did a quick once-over of it to remind myself of what I had. I still had my mirror (Ah, reminds of the good old days when I had no fricking clue what I was doing. Not that I do now.), my bedroll, A Guide To Dragons (Which had gotten a liiiittle bit dusty in my travels. At least I can still make out the title.), about ten remaining gemstones (food supplies low), and my bag of bits (LOL).

I took out the bag and poured a small handful of coins into my hand, shifting though them with my claws. I remembered back when Spike had first seen the amount of money in there, and how big his eyes had gotten. I also remembered what he had said about it.

“You're kidding me. 2,000 bits all fit in there?! Just how much money is that?!”

“Well...that should be just enough to buy a house. And I'm not talking about a small one.”

A house... I mused. A full-sized... all to myself... mine and mine only... free to do what I want with... house.

“Exactly. All I'm gonna say is that whatever it is, do it far away from here.”

“Whatever. I'm outta here.” I got up and headed back in the direction of Ponyville, making sure to take my money bag with me. “It's spending time.”

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Okay, now that I think about it, Manty's right. My ideas do have a tendency to get out of hand. But don't tell him I said that.

Let's review the last hour, shall we? After changing into a pegasus and flying back to Ponyville, I got directions from some random dude and then set out for the mayor's office. Apparently that's where you buy houses. I made a point not to tell Twi, Dash, or the rest of the girls what I was doing, as I was pretty sure most of them would say it was a bad idea. Except for Dash. She would probably think it was hilarious.

Upon entering the building, I had to go through the whole 'talk with the receptionist' thing, which lucky didn't take that long. It was Sunday after all. I was surprised the place was even open, but hey, I'm not complaining. After informing the receptionist that yes, I was here to buy a house, and yes, I was indeed serious, she pointed me in the direction of the office.

The mayor herself looked bored out her fricking mind. She was sitting at a desk, holding a pencil in her mouth and doodling on some random scrap of paper. It took her a full ten seconds to react from when I entered the room, and when she did she quickly slipped the paper out of sight and attempted to look like she was doing something important. Hard to do when you have absolutely nothing on you desk except for a mug full of pencils.

“Hey, call me Flame, full name is Flamesinger, and I'm here to buy a house.”

She looked a little surprised at my bluntness. “Oh, well in that case...” She looked at me closely. “Do you have enough money to purchase a house?”

“I don't know, let me check...” She opened one of the drawers in her desk and took out a file filled with important looking papers, half of which I suspected were probably more doodles. “You'll have to forgive me if there isn't one available... it isn't very often that ponies here sell their homes... or that new ones move in, for that matter...”

She began to leaf through the file, looking at edge page for a few seconds before nodding and moving on. It really just increased my suspicion that there was practically nothing in there.

After about thirty pages, she closed the file and set it down. “I'm sorry, but it doesn't seem like there are any available right now.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? It took you thirty pages to figure that out?”

She hesitated. “Well, there is one... but I'm not sure it's in the condition you're looking for.”

She snorted. “Very well. It's a manor, a very very old manor, situated a little ways into the Everfree forest. The pony who once owned it liked to live there, though he was always a bit... creepy. He never fixed up his house, and since he's died no one has claimed it. The thing is literally falling apart, with bordered up windows and a roof that could collapse at any moment. It is most likely also home to more then one kind of animal.”

“But...but...” She took a deep breathe. “Mister, I don't think you realize just how old this place is.”

“Old means broken which means a fixer-upper which means I can make changes to it without feeling guilty. Trust me, it's perfect. Now where do I sign?”

I gave her a look. “I'm willing to give you money to get this house. Why are you so against that?”

“I just...” She sighed. “... I don't think you know what you're getting yourself into.”

“Well you're right, I don't. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, and in all probability I will be returning to you in the next couple of days, demanding to know why you sold me such a degraded establishment. There will be a fight, a heated argument, a lawsuit, and you will most likely lose your job and spend the next few years of your life in a financial crisis. Now...” I took my eyes off the file on the table and looked at her. “... where do I sign?”

She looked back for a minute or so. Then she sighed again, rummaged through one of her drawers and pulled out several forms. “Sign here.”

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I pocketed my newly-acquired deed into my significantly lighter money bag, which actually wasn't completely empty. The house had only ended up costing 1500 bits, which still struck me as insanely cheap but that the mayor had assured me was a hefty amount. Whatever. I still had money left, and that's what mattered. Now to do some shopping.

Seeing as how the dear mayor had made such a point telling me how crappy this place was, I invested in a box of assorted tools, more then half of which I didn't know how to use but looked cool. It was only ten bits so I wasn't that stingy. I mean, the place was called 'Ponyville Hardware', so the tools should at least work, right?

The next store I visited had a rather odd name, 'Quills and Sofas' (Seriously, WTF?). Apparently that was because the place only sold two things (just guess), and on a whim I decided I wanted some quills. Y'know, to write with. And because I could.

The place also sold ink and parchment (God, I feel like I'm in Harry Potter.) which made about zip sense to me. I asked the dude that worked there why the place was called 'Quills and Sofas' if that was not in fact all they sold. He said that they were 'accessories', so they didn't count as actual items. I told him that was bullshit. He agreed with me (I like this guy).

“I just work here.” He sounded tired. “The more I manage to sell, the more I get paid, so it's kind of an effort thing.” He glanced at the selection of couches, then looked at me hopefully. “Need a sofa?”

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So yeah, out of pity for the poor guy (and again, because I could) I ended up buying a sofa. It turned out to be pretty easy. You choose the sofa (I picked the limited edition one with flames all over it. Win!), pay for it (self-explanatory), then give them your address and have them deliver it to your house. The dude (I don't know his name, so I'll just call him that) said that since I was the only one who had bought a sofa today, I could expect it later in the afternoon. Awesome.

With a tool box, my money bag with the deed in it, and another bag filled with quills, ink and parchment all balanced on my back (Pain in the ass, I'm tellin' ya), I set out to take my first look at my new home. The mayor had made sure I knew where it was, so by following her directions I got there pretty easily. It was only about five minutes into the Everfree, not as far as Manty's clearing but far enough for some privacy.

The word 'manor' was a bit strong. It was more like a... well, just a big house. It had three stories as far as I could tell, and the whole thing looked like it was built five hundred years ago. The windows were indeed boarded up, and the walls looked worn, with any traces of paint gone. The shape of it wasn't imposing or anything; it looked like any other house in Ponyville, just bigger. It definitely wasn't some creepy old mansion. It was just... really, really, old.

I thought about that for a second. Then I set my stuff down and changed back into a dragon. I then blew a huge torrent of flame into the air, enough so that it went above the tree line.

After about five minutes, Manty came crashing through the underbrush, the vegetation regrowing behind him like it always did. I don't care what Tienn says, that aspect of the forest is still creepy.

Manty walked up beside me and looked at the house. Then he looked at me. Then at the house. Then at me. “So...”

“Yeah, I know that, I've seen this thing before, but what does it have to do with your brilliant idea?”

-I must admit Flamesinger...- Tienn stepped out of the trees. In the sunlight, her transparent form was rather hard to see. -... that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.-

“Now, I know it's a bit of a fixer-upper, but that's where we come in. Manty and me are going to this place up.”

“Whoa whoa whoa.” Manty shook his head. “Since when did I say I was gonna do anything?”

Tienn stepped closer to the house. -I remember the pony that used to live here. I liked him. He was one of those that truly understood my forest.-

-Well... yes, but he also liked my forest.- She looked me in the eye. -I ask that you don't desecrate his house too much.-

I put on an offended face. “What? I would never dream of hurting this place! I'm trying to fix it!”

She laughed. -If you and Manty are both working on it, I'm sure that by the time I return half of it will be burned down.-

“She's got a point Flame.” He nudged my box of tools. “Do you even know what half this stuff does?”

“Not really. But I do know that this thing...” I rummaged around in it and brought out a sledgehammer. “... is pretty damn heavy.”

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I looked at Manty, who was giving me a deadpan. “What? All I did was fricking touch it!”

I had to fold my wings in to enter, but at least I didn't have to crouch. The door led to what seemed to be a huge living room, with a few torn couches and a tea table that was missing a leg. It was dark due to the boarded up windows. The floor was covered with a moth-eaten rug, and a grandfather clock stood in the corner, obviously broken. On the wall hung a huge portrait of some random old pony with a wig.

Manty looked through the door, which was way too small for him. “And just how am I gonna get in?”

I walked across the room, the floor creaking beneath my feet, to another door on the far side. It opened up to a large room that didn't seem to have been used for anything, as it was completely empty. It too was dark. I walked over to one of the walls.

“Okay, here's a wall that doesn't have anything on it. Maybe we can devise a large door, or a removable wall or something. It would be pretty easy, all I would have to do would be to cut out a section with my magic and-”

He calmly brushed himself off, leaving a good manticore-sized hole in the wall, before walking past me. “The walls are a bit flimsy.”

He walked over to the doorway I had just came through, then backed up a little bit. “Step one...” He then sprang forward, smashing through the wall and making another manticore-sized hole where the door used to be. “... enlarge the doorways.”

“Look, just try not to bring the whole place crashing down on top of us, okay?”

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... house, I would prepare for a major shit-storm if I were you.

After navigating through a couple more doorways, I found the stairs and climbed them. Each and every one creaked when I stepped on it, which made me freeze, fearing I was about to became more familiar with the ground then I wanted to be. So yeah, climbing the stairs took a while.

When I actually got there, the upstairs was nothing special. All of the rooms were bedrooms, except for one which was (gasp) the master bedroom. Even the master bedroom didn't have much that was different about it. Just a bigger room with a fancier bed.

The third floor turned out to be the attic, which was unsurprisingly full of a ton of nothing. The whole thing was just one large room with two boarded up windows and a staircase leading back down to the second floor.

I approached one of the walls and felt it. Solid. I backed up a few feet and stared charging a ball of chaos magic in my hands. After a few minutes, I threw it at the wall, making the whole side of the room explode. The roof creaked ominously.

I let out a breath. Thank you.

I admired my handy work. I had a good view of the forest from here, as well as a convenient spot to land when I was flying about. Nice. I went back down the stairs and called to Manty. “I found my room! What have you found?”

“I found a kitchen with nothing in it, a basement with nothing in it, and a closet with nothing in it.”

“About...” I counted the number of bedrooms. “... four bedrooms, a master bedroom, and an empty attic, which I am claiming as my room.”

“Cool. I'm gonna have to buy some more mattresses though, because the ones up here suck.”

I then proceeded to move the mattress from the master bed to the attic, via chaos magic. It may have been crappy, but it was better then sleeping on the floor. I left the bed frame, it had served it's purpose.

After situating the mattress in a comfortable place and making a mental note to go back and get my stuff from the clearing, I met up with Manty in front of the house. I found that if I just jumped out of the hole I had made in the attic, I would land just in front of the front door. I had to use my wings a little to avoid breaking my legs, but yeah.

We both stared at the house for a while. Tienn, who hadn't left her spot since we began, joined us in staring.

“Well, I'm gonna have to buy some new mattresses, as well as fix up the walls a little bit, but other then that it's great.”

Tienn looked between the two of us. -Whatever happened to 'fixing the place up'?-

“Okay, the real reason is I don't have the materials yet. Give me until I can buy some lumber or something. Then we can expect to see results.”

-Well this is taking far too long for my tastes.- She approached the house and her horn began to glow. -Allow me to speed the process up a little.-

The blue light expanded, slowly covering the house until the entire thing was shining light blue. After a few minutes, the light faded.

The house was the same, except... AWESOME. The whole thing was now covered in vines and thin trees that had grown up around it, hugging the wall and yet avoiding windows and doors. The windows were no longer boarded up, and each one had fresh glass. The wood was the same, except it looked a lot healthier, and definitely less dusty. I noticed that roots were now running from the bottom of the house into the ground, so that it looked like the whole thing was just straight-up growing. The roof was now covered in tiny branches that were growing out from between the tiles, and each branch had numerous leaves growing from it, making it look kind of like a tree. I wanted to compare it to the library, except that there was one major difference: you could still easily tell that it was a house. It looked overgrown, but it was still a house. The new wood and windows gave everything a feel of newness, but didn't take away the 'nature-y' aspect of it.

I stood there, my eyes popping out of my head and my jaw hanging open. I probably looked like a total idiot.

I managed to regain my sense of motion long enough to look at her. “I think I love you.”

That actually managed to bring a small blush to her cheeks, but she also grinned even wider. -Oh, but you haven't seen what I've done to the inside yet.-

“The in... the in...” I was once again unable to utter full sentences. Thanks a lot Tienn.

-Now now, no need to thank me all at onc- She was interrupted by me giving her a huge bear hug.

She was rendered speechless. Even when I let go and strode over to the house she still remained still.

“This...” I gestured at the house “...This is fricking awesome! I now have literally the coolest house in the fricking universe! AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY!!!”

I turned back to Tienn. “Don't get me wrong, I'm probably the happiest guy in the world right now, but WHAT did I do to deserve this?!”

She stood there for a moment, then shook her head and smiled again. -Well, I can't have you sleeping in a degraded house can I? After all, you've provided me with some of the best entertainment I've had in years.- She turned and started walking back into the forest. -That, and I just can't stand a messy room. Do please try not to blow it up, will you?-

“Try. Okay, I can do that!” I turned to Manty. “C'mon! Let's check out the inside!”

As I raced indoors to observe my new home from the inside (again), Manty just stood there and stared at the house, completely lost for words. After about five minutes, he slapped himself and shook his head to regain his senses. “Huh.” He muttered, started towards the house. “Wasn't expecting that.”

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It was four o'clock in the afternoon. She should be home now. Her route was done and over with, and any extra last-minute letters had been delivered to the right people. What more could you want from a mailmare? But no, just as she had been about to go home and relax, maybe have a muffin or two, she had gotten this. A little extra assignment, a 'special delivery' that they wanted her to help out with. That sounded great on paper right? 'Special deliveries' were usually important, which meant a higher pay. And guess what this one had turned out to be:

Flying next to the box-carriers, she wondered as to why she was even here. She wasn't actually doing anything. She wasn't even leading them. The box-carriers know where they were supposed to go, and they certainly didn't need her help. She was just there for the ride, the one that did that whole 'here's a package, sign here please' thing. It was easy, and at least she was getting paid extra, but still. Why did it have to be in the Everfree Forest of all places? The only pony- er, zebra- that lived here was Zecora, and she definitely had no need of a couch.

The carriers, however, seemed to know where they were going, so she just followed and tried to look nonchalant. Not that it mattered. None of the box-carriers talked to her, all attention focused on their precious cargo. It was like saying a word would make them drop it.

They walked in silence for a few more minutes, her becoming more bored with each step. It said something for how bored she was when she wasn't even creeped out by the forest around her. She was in the Everfree after all. That creepy, old, dark place that parents told their fillies and colts about to make them go to bed. Heh, as if. It wasn't even that scary. Just a bunch of old trees and-

It was a house, a big house, but it looked overgrown. The whole thing was covered in vines and thin trees, and the roof was a sea of leaves created by tiny branches. The windows and wood was new though, so it had probably been built recently.

She flew ahead to the front door while the box-carriers shuffled along with their load. Coming right up to the front door, she could see that there was a message scrawled across it. It was a rather long message, reaching about half-way down the door, and looked as though it had been carved with something sharp. A knife perhaps, or a claw. Maybe whoever lived here was a griffin. She took a moment to read the whole thing It said:

The ghastly, dark, horrible lair of
Mr. Flamesinger.

Visitors, please use front door. You don't have to knock, but doing so will increase your chances of survival by about 99%, so I would suggest it. Please note that any and all burglars/thieves/serial killers will be eaten by-

The word 'pet' was scratched out, and there was a huge indent next to it, as though something had punched the door.

-best friend forever manticore. Salesmen of any species, if you would be so kind as to use the back door (the one with the hidden spike pit), I would be most grateful. Also, if you're a hater, screw off. I don't wanna deal with you.

Have a nice day.

P. S. No, seriously, there actually is a manticore in there. So when you see him, don't lose your shit. He responds to the name 'Manty'. Don't piss him off, bad things will happen.

P. S. S. If your name is Twilight Sparkle, then I'm not home.

By the time she had gotten to the last sentence, Derpy was thoroughly creeped out. What kind of pony lived here? Whoever it was sounded insane at the very least. And what was this about a manticore? Derpy would be the first to admit that she wasn't the smartest pony around, but even she knew that you couldn't tame manticores. That just didn't happen.

The carriers had made their way to the door and were now reading the message as well. When they were done the looked at each other, then at Derpy.

Composing herself, she got out her clipboard from her saddle bags had tried to act as though this was just another package she was delivering. Which it was, but these circumstances were more then a bit odd. She knocked on the door.

The door opened, and there stood... a dragon. Not a huge one, but still a dragon. It was as tall as the doorway, and covered in blue scales. Two wings were spread out behind it, and when it glanced down at her, she saw that it's eyes were also blue. It's eyes rested on her miss-matched ones for a couple seconds, before blinking and looking away. “Yeah?”

Now, while it was true that Derpy was more then likely scared out of her mind right now, and that every one of her instincts was telling her to get out of there, she was a mailmare. She did this stuff for a living, and the fact that it was a dragon that answered the door didn't change that. Okay, well maybe it changed it a little, but still. She had a job to do. It was time for instincts to take over.

“Yeah, that's me.” He looked at the box and grinned, which made Derpy cringe. “Hey, is that my couch?”

“Great! Come on in, I'll show you where to put that.” And he disappeared into the house.

She looked at the carriers, who looked back at her, as if waiting for her to make the first move. Sighing, and bracing herself for whatever she would find, she entered.

The next room was breath-taking. The walls were designed just like the outside ones, with vines and trees snaking along them and avoiding the windows. The floor was wooden, but it was smooth and looked brand new. There were already two couches in the center of the room, next to a a stump that seemed to be growing out of the floor, which functioned as a small table. There was a grandfather clock in the corner, was also new and was ticking away. On the wall was a huge portrait of an old pony with a wig, but somepony had drawn a goatee, mustache, top hat, and spectacles on him with the same sharp thing that had written the message on the door. Looking at the dragon's sharp claws, Derpy had a feeling she knew who had drawn both things.

“Why thank you. I owe it all to magic and a friend of mine that hates dirty houses.” He spread his arms, which again made Derpy cringe. He didn't seem to notice. “So yeah, welcome and everything. That couch can go...uh...” He had a blank look for a second, then shrugged. “... anywhere.”

As the carriers set down the box, the dragon approached Derpy. “Also, is there anything I need to sign? Or am I good?”

“W-well... there i-is something, but...” She took a breath. “N-No offense meant sir, but I was under the i-impression that Mr. F-Flamesinger was a pony.”

“What?” He looked confused for a second, then looked down at himself and seemed to realize something. “Oh shit. Yeah, here, gimme a sec...”

He darted through what seemed to be a large hole in the wall, and then ducked into a side room so nopony could see him. She heard a slight humming noise issue from it. She recognized that sound, she had heard it plenty of times before when she saw unicorns using magic. But dragons couldn't use magic, right?

After a few seconds, the humming stopped and a pony emerged. A pegasus with a blue coat and a dark blue mane with white stripes running through it. When he spoke, it was in the same voice as the dragon's.

“Well yes, ahem, I am Mr. Flamesinger, though you should really just call me Flame. Everypony does. You have something for me to sign?”

In a state of complete shock, Derpy dumbly handed over the clipboard. “... sign right here...”

While the pony-er, Flame- signed, Derpy took a look at his cutie mark. It was a fireball, made of both normal and dark fire. She shook her head a little and looked back at his head. It was then that she recognized him. He was the new pony in town, the one that Pinkie Pie had thrown a party for a few days ago. She always went to those parties (free muffins), and the 'surprise' thing always meant she got a good look at whoever the party was for. She hadn't talked to him of course, but she knew it was the same guy. And now that her instincts weren't telling her to run away anymore, she wanted a few answers. Number one being what the hay a dragon was doing here.

“Er, excuse me sir, but are you the same pony who had the surprise party a few days ago?”

He looked up, carefully avoiding looking at her eyes. “Yeah, came here about five days ago. Bought this house so I had a place to stay. That... that dragon you saw earlier... would it be possible for you to forget you saw that?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Definitely not.” She looked at him suspiciously. “Mind telling me why you have the same voice as him though?”

“Yes. Yes I would, actually.” He finished signing and handed back the clipboard. “Now if that's all, you know where the door is. Please don't let me keep you from anything you must do.”

The carriers were all too happy to oblige, and quickly made their way out the door. Derpy, however, stayed put.

Flame switched his gaze between her and the door. “Y'know, I hear there's a big sale going on at that one bakery... thing... Sugercube Corner. Yeah. Wouldn't want to miss it.”

“Listen pal, I may not look that smart...” She gestured at her crazy eyes. “… but even I can do basic logic.”

“No. No you didn't.” She paused for a second, then made her way to the door. When she got there, she looked over her shoulder. “Sooo... you're a dragon... who lives in a weird house.”

As she flew back to the office to report the 'special delivery' a success, she rubbed her forehead with her hooves. “I need a muffin.”

A/N: Like and comment. Especially the comment. Praise lifts my spirits and makes me eager to write more, and critique informs me of what I'm doing wrong so I can fix it.

Just Another Average Tuesday

by Flamesinger599

A New Home