Ponyville Park was bright, sunny, and full of ponies who had seen so many monsters and disasters go through town that most of them barely noticed the siren. A light rain had left everything damp but a few drying spells and one small brush fire later (my fault), we’d set up camp near the lake.
“This is… nice,” Adagio said, using the exact tone of voice that said she absolutely didn’t think it was nice and it was someone else’s job to fix it.
“You could go for a swim,” I suggested.
“Fresh water irritates my gills.”
“You never mentioned that before.”
“I didn’t have to worry about my gills the last time we went swimming.”
“Who wants a sandwich?” Twilight asked. “I’ve got… cucumber? With pickles. Why would Spike put cucumber and pickles on the same sandwich?”
I shrugged. “You only gave him about five minutes to make food.”
“Maybe I should have ordered out,” Twilight muttered. She picked up another ‘sandwich’ that was just two slices of bread with a whole carrot stabbed through their centers. “I think he gets frustrated sometimes.”
“What is the point of all this?” Star Swirl demanded. “Breaking bread with the enemy is less appealing when you’ve already been the appetizer.”
“Sunset wanted to go over a proposal, and since it involved diplomacy, she asked me for help,” Twilight explained, as she tried to reassemble the sandwiches into something approximating food.
Adagio’s stomach rumbled. “Do you think they’d notice if I found myself something else to eat?” She whispered.
I rolled my eyes. “That depends on if what you found had a name or not.”
“I can see you have a lot of room to help her improve,” Star Swirl said, looking directly at me.
“It’s really more about making introductions,” Twilight said, not noticing the tension in the air was thick enough pegasi had to divert around our picnic to avoid stalling out. “Sunset wants to take Adagio to meet with the hippogriffs, and a royal introduction would make it easier.”
“Right. The plan is, we’ll talk to Queen Novo and- Adagio, stop growling at Star Swirl.” I swatted Adagio’s tail. “I blasted you with magic and you don’t growl at me!”
“You apologized and made it up to me. Besides, I was under the mistaken and pleasant assumption that he’d died of old age.” Adagio turned away from the elderly unicorn to stare pointedly at nothing in particular. “It’s completely ruined the atmosphere.”
“He was stuck in Limbo for over a thousand years,” Twilight said.
“I doubt it compares to even the few decades my sisters and I spent in Salem.”
I frowned, thinking. “...Wasn’t that the place with the witches?”
“I confess we were somewhat less than subtle,” Adagio shrugged.
“Weren’t people burned at the stake?”
“And it was a chore framing them. Everyone was so paranoid! You have a little fun and before you know it, you’re pointing fingers at the milkmaid so she gets turned into kindling instead of Aria just because someone has to get blamed for all the beer going bad.” She huffed, lashing her tail. “It wouldn’t have gotten so bad if Sonata had at least stopped giggling when they were dunking her in the river.”
“This is sounding awfully un-reformed and evil, Sunset!” Twilight hissed. “We talked about this!”
“Oh don’t worry, it was hundreds of years ago,” Adagio said. “I haven’t done anything really evil in ages.”
“You tried to eat me!” Star Swirl snapped.
“That doesn’t count.”
“I think it should count.”
“You’re biased against me because I tried to eat you.”
“So how about one of those lemon tarts?” I suggested. “We can eat those while Twilight and I work on getting the sandwiches together.”
“Right, yes, food!” Twilight grabbed a plate, holding it up. Adagio craned her neck and snapped it up before anypony could take a tart, chewing for a few moments and then spitting the plate out like the pit of a cherry.
“Hm. Not bad.” She smacked her lips. “You used the zest. Most people just use juice.”
“Those were for everypony!” Twilight’s eyes narrowed dangerously.
“I gave you a compliment,” Adagio countered. “You should be flattered. I’ve eaten with royalty.”
Twilight's ear twitched, her mane slowly starting to fray on its own. “I am royalty!”
Adagio leaned a little closer to Twilight, giving her a smirk that filled her entire field of view. “That only proves my point.”
“If you really want to meet with Queen Novo, you’ll have to impress me, Adagio,” Twilight said.
“I’m amazed you’re even entertaining the idea of helping her,” Star Swirl huffed.
Twilight sighed and stopped sorting bread and filling. “A while back, Sunset and I, along with a few of our friends, stopped the Sirens from getting their hands on Equestrian magic and taking over the world.”
“An admirable quest.”
“In the process, it destroyed the magic gems the Sirens used to collect chaotic energy,” Twilight continued.
Adagio grimaced. I took her hoof.
“Ever since then they haven’t been able to sing,” I explained. “Every time she tries, her throat closes up. It’s kind of like an allergy.”
“More like a curse,” Adagio mumbled.
“Either way, we think Queen Novo can help. Twilight and Twilight and I did some research--”
“You said Twilight twice,” Star Swirl interrupted.
“We had two Twilights. Briefly. Until they started arguing about the best way to sort books.”
“She can come back to Equestria when she agrees my methods are superior,” Princess Twilight said, fluttering her wings pointedly. I rolled my eyes.
Adagio cleared her throat. “Queen Novo is rumored to have the Crown of Leucosia, or at least whatever’s left of it. It’s where the gems originally came from. My sisters and I pried them out a dozen centuries ago, give or take an eternity.”
“We figure since the destruction of the gems is what caused this curse, looking at the crown might give us a clue on how to fix things,” I explained.
“Princess Twilight, perhaps I should teach a class at your school,” Star Swirl said.
“Really?” Twilight’s ears shot up and I saw stars glimmer in her eyes.
“Indeed. I think I could spend an entire semester lecturing on all the reasons why this idea to help her is a bad one.”
“Maybe you could include a guest lecturer on sarcasm,” I grumbled. “She’s changed, Twilight. I promise.”
Twilight sighed. “I’ll send a letter so they’ll know to expect you. Adagio, just remember that whatever you do, Sunset is the one that’s really going to end up hurt by it.”
Adagio opened her mouth and I knew - I just knew, without even needing to read her mind, that she was going to say something stupid.
I yanked on her ear and mouthed the words ‘say thank you’.
“Thank you,” Adagio said, her voice strained. “Princess Twilight.”
“So, let’s go over your travel itinerary,” Twilight said, pulling a list out of her mane like a magician producing a rabbit. “First, you’ll need to take the train down to Equestria’s southern border...”
“This is humiliating,” Adagio grumbled. “A cargo car?”
“You can’t fit in a passenger car,” I pointed out. “You barely even fit in here.”
Adagio was squeezed into the train car like a dog in a crate, having to curl in around herself just to turn around in the tight space. If she hadn’t been so long and sinuous she would never have been able to get through the doors in the first place.
“We could have flown,” she said.
“You definitely couldn’t have gotten into an airship cabin.”
“I meant under my own power.”
“It would take twice as long and you’d be exhausted.” I trotted over to the door and pulled it open, the cargo car filling with the noise of the air rushing past the train. Outside, the rolling scrublands and rocky fields of southern Equestria stretched into the distance. “Maybe some fresh air will help.”
“What I really need is a decent meal.”
“Why are you always so hungry?” I asked, sitting down next to the open door.
Adagio raised an eyebrow. “That’s an interesting question, Sunset. Maybe if we put our heads together we might be able to work out why I’d be starving after I spent hundreds of years sucking down the dregs of magic in the human world.”
“Sorry,” I mumbled.
“Don’t apologize.” Adagio rolled over, and the train car jumped from the movement. I stumbled, unable to catch myself, and the open train door yawned wide, the wind catching me as I fell towards the blur of rocks and dirt-
There was a sharp yank, and I was hoisted back into the train car by my tail.
Adagio put me down in the corner and spat a few long red and yellow hairs out.
“You need to change your conditioner,” she said.
“Anything you want,” I said, a little dazed.
“Anything? That’s a dangerous offer to make.”
Her smile made me rethink what I’d said. “Uh…”
“I’ll let you off the hook this time,” she said. “But as long as you’re feeling grateful, maybe you could go to the dining car and get me a snack?”
Twilight moved her hoof down the page to the next point. “When you arrive at the station, you’ll need a guide to take you to Basalt Beach. It’s pretty remote, but the locals are friendly and you shouldn’t have much trouble hiring somepony.”
“Not many ponies come by around these parts,” the pony pulling the cart said, trying to make conversation even though he was almost out of breath. “Not this far from the turnip festival.”
“Turnip festival?” I asked.
“Oh yeah. Biggest event for miles and miles around. You wouldn’t believe all the different things you can do with turnips. Turnip pie, baked turnips, turnip soup, turnip surprise…”
“What’s turnip surprise?”
Adagio gave me a look. “Why would you ask?” She whispered.
I shrugged helplessly.
“If’n I told you, there wouldn’t be a surprise,” he said, evenly. “You’ll have to come t’ the festival if you want to find out.”
“If we’re still in the area, we’ll stop in,” I promised, with no intention to be anywhere within a thousand miles.
He nodded, and the cart shuddered and jerked as the wheels found mud in the ruts along the road and sank in all the way to the axles. He kept pulling, hooves digging grooves into the dirt as he struggled to get it free.
“Had some rain here th’ other night,” he said, by way of an apology. “Road gets a little boggy sometimes if’n there’s been a storm. We’ll be free in just a minute while I find some traction."
“Do you think the cart might be… overloaded?” I asked, carefully. Calling your girlfriend fat was a quick road that led to being single. Or lunch, depending on how offended she was. "Maybe we should have hired a bigger cart..."
"Maybe you two should stretch your legs while I get the old gal free,” our guide suggested. “Could be a little while and a lot of mud.”
“I suppose I have been feeling cooped up,” Adagio sighed. She levitated into the air, twisting into an S-shape, her spine popping and cracking.
I looked around, then jumped from the side of the cart and into the grass to avoid the muddy road.
“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?” She asked, floating closer.
“Probably not that long,” I said. “If he’s still stuck in a few minutes I’ll give him a hand and levitate it free.”
“Couldn’t you just do that now?”
“Well the truth is…” I motioned for her to come closer, like I was going to tell her a secret. Once she’d lowered her ear to my mouth, I leaned in that last inch and kissed her, the siren’s cheeks turning red. “I don’t mind a few minutes alone.”
“I think he’d notice if we did anything serious.”
“I think he’d only notice if we were turnips,” I countered. “I’m just kind of curious about how things would work with you this big and--”
The farmer yelled something.
Adagio groaned. “What now? We were finally having some fun!”
“He probably wants to tell us about a really exciting new type of potato he discovered,” I said, turning around just in time to just barely be missed by a black two-pronged spear being wielded by a masked thing with bulky arms, a wild lion-like mane of white fur, and either a black mask or a face that looked like one. Red lines and crosses covered patchwork armor like warpaint, covering up the old livery with tribal marks.
I blasted it into the air hard enough that it would have a long time to regret attacking me before it hit the ground.
“I don’t think it’s about root vegetables,” Adagio said, rearing up. There was movement all around us, a half-dozen more of the creatures hesitating as they realized they’d bitten off more than they could chew.
“Bandits?” I guessed.
“Entertainment,” Adagio corrected. She leaned down to peck my cheek “I know you love playing the hero, so you rescue the farmer. I’ll have fun with the rest.”
“Just don’t kill them.”
Adagio gave me a grin that would have made a shark jealous. “Don’t worry. I’ll only scare them off.”
She turned to the nearest of the creatures and roared, and it dropped its spear and ran, indicating it was smart enough to be officer material.
The farmer screamed, and I ran after him. One of the creatures was holding him up in the air. Another one was hitting him with a stick, either trying to quiet him down or attempting to smack him hard enough that candy would come out. A third was struggling to free the cart from the thick mud and having just as little luck as the pony they were in the middle of abducting.
“Hey, jerks!”
They looked, and I blasted the whole group of them into the air. Force blasts weren’t as flashy or dangerous as using fire or lightning, but it wasn’t going to accidentally kill anypony.
I skidded to a stop, looked up, and grabbed the farmer and his cart with telekinesis, slowing their fall and giving them a soft landing, pointedly putting the cart in a dry patch out of the mud.
“I think we’re ready to head down to the beach,” I said. “Don’t you?”
He wiped his brow and smiled. “I ain’t never seen anything quite like that jugglin’ trick, Miss. Don’t suppose you do foal’s birthdays?”
“Sorry, I’m not looking for a side job.”
“Too bad,” he said. “Thanks for saving me, but I think there’s a mite problem with your giant fishy ladyfriend.”
“She isn’t hurt is--” I turned to see her cheeks bulging and a distinct impression of something struggling in her maw. She met my gaze with the same guilty look as when we'd caught Spike (the dog, not the dragon, though I expect they'd both have the same expression) in Rarity's underwear drawer.
“Think she might have eaten one of them,” he continued.
“I’ll be right back,” I said, forcing myself to smile at him before I turned to Adagio and started yelling. “ADAGIO DON’T YOU DARE! YOU DON’T KNOW WHERE THAT’S BEEN!”
Twilight pulled out a map. “Basalt Beach is around this area. I’ll send a letter ahead of you and the Hippogriffs should send somepony to meet you. They’ll find you, so feel free to get some sunbathing in while you wait!”
Rain poured down on the beach around us, beating down on the semicircular shield I’d erected to serve as an umbrella. Adagio was mostly outside of the envelope, her scales better protection against the weather than anything I could provide.
“Starlight and Star Swirl.”
I snorted. “That’s not even a fight. He’d say something to piss her off and Starlight would blast him into another dimension.”
Adagio tapped her cloven hoof against her chin, looking down at where I was lying on her chest. “Celestia and Luna. No Elements of Harmony.”
“I don’t know Princess Luna very well… but since Celestia had to use the Elements to beat Nightmare Moon, I’d put money on the little sister.”
“Smart. Same question, but the human versions instead of the ponies.”
“In that case, Principal Celestia has a longer reach.”
“I can tell Luna fights dirty though,” Adagio countered. “She’d sneak a knife into a fist fight. If you weren’t so interesting she’d have been a nice catch.”
I gasped in mock offense. “How dare you replace me with an older woman?”
“Compared to my age, a decade or two is a rounding error.” She leaned in and carefully kissed my cheek with delicacy that belied her huge form. “Besides, I do love my tiny girlfriend. Speaking of which, what about you versus our Princess Twilight Sparkle?”
“I’d win,” I said, without hesitation.
“You’re awfully confident about that.”
“I put a lot of thought into it before I stole the Element of Magic.” I shrugged.
“So how would you do it? Blast her apart? Kidnap her friends? Turn everyone against each other?”
“It would have worked if not for those meddling kids.”
Adagio cackled and pulled me into a bone-creaking hug. “That’s why I love you. You understand exactly how I feel.”
A bubbly voice echoed over the sound of the surf. “Oh, that’s so cute! And a little scary because one of you is a giant monster! But totally cute!”
Adagio craned her neck to look at something. I had to struggle out of her loosened grasp and levitate myself up to perch on her head to get a look.
A pale yellow pony was looking at us, only her head and shoulders visible in the waves. It took me a moment to realize her mane was actually a large, curling fin.
“I suppose that would be the hippocampus sent to meet us?” Adagio guessed.
“Hippogriff,” she corrected.
“Not with those fins you aren’t.”
“Oh, I’m only a fish sometimes,” she said, dolphin-leaping out of the water. Her whole body was enveloped in a soft glow, and by the time she landed on the beach next to us she had feathers and talons instead of fins and more fins. “Other times I’m a bird! I’m Princess Skystar.”
“I’m Sunset Shimmer,” I said. “This is Adagio Dazzle.”
“So Princess Twilight sent us a letter and it was a little waterlogged because she didn’t use squid ink but I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to lead you to my mom. She’s really excited to have visitors! She was saying about how we’d need to bring all the guards in, and get the lightning cannons charged, and prepare the tactical shark squads!”
“Um…”
“Huh, you know, now that I say that all out loud it sounds more like preparing for an invasion!”
“Would it help if we promised not to invade?”
“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Skystar said. “So who wants to turn into a fish? Well, you probably don’t. You’re already a fish. But I’m pretty sure Sunny Sunrise would be a great seapony!”
“Sunset Shimmer,” I corrected.
“Hey, that reminds me, why do so many ponies have names that mean basically the same thing? I mean there’s you, and Twilight Sparkle, and Starlight Glimmer, and Moonrise Twinkle, and Aurora Flicker...”
She was still naming ponies an hour later while we were swimming. Well, while she and Adagio were swimming and I was struggling to keep up. I’d never learned to swim as a pony, but I’d done a lot of it as a human. Guess what? Seaponies don’t swim like humans. At least I couldn’t drown.
“And Dusk Shine, and Gloam Gleam, and Twilight Sparkle -- wait, I think I already said her name. Did I say her name?”
“Please stop,” Adagio groaned.
“Aw, but I’m not done with the list Pinkie Pie sent me!” Skystar sighed. “How about we sing a swimming song?”
Adagio growled. “No songs!”
“Are you sure? I bet you have a beautiful singing voice.”
“No. Songs!” Adagio snarled. I got between them before anything catastrophic could happen.
“She’s cursed,” I explained. “She can’t sing. That’s the whole reason we’re here, Princess. This is not a good time for singing.”
“But it’s always a good time for--”
Adagio pushed me aside and roared in Skystar’s face loudly enough to send the Princess tumbling back like she’d found a riptide. She hit the bottom hard enough to stir up a cloud of silt, a school of small fish fleeing the danger.
“You know what, maybe we won’t sing,” Skystar said, laughing nervously.
“Good idea,” Adagio groused.
I helped the Princess up. Or I tried, anyway. I was so awkward it probably made things harder instead of easier.
“She’s grumpy,” Skystar whispered.
“Adagio hates not being in control,” I explained. “The curse means she can’t control her own body, and having to rely on others means she’s not even in control of finding a cure. I know she seems a little rough around the edges, but she’s just scared.”
“I know what it’s like being scared,” Skystar admitted. “Actually, we’re basically professionally scared.”
“Why don’t you tell me about it?” I suggested. “With no singing.”
“Seaquestria is secluded, and the seaponies there are still a little shell-shocked from the trouble with the Storm King.”
“Shell-shocked?”
“You know. Like how a clam shuts itself away.”
“That’s not what the phrase means, Twilight.”
“Just stay on your best behavior. I didn’t mention this before but when I was there the first time I might have made a few diplomatic mistakes and I don’t want them to think we’re all like that.”
“It’s beautiful,” I said.
Even Adagio didn’t have a sarcastic quip. At first glance you could mistake the organic shapes and rounded corners as primitive, but the scale and activity in the city quickly dispelled that notion.
“Come on, the royal palace is over here,” Skystar said, leading us to the largest structure. It was all more open than I expected. With no weather or seasons, there probably wasn’t any need for windows or walls, and entrances in roofs or floors were just as useful as any other door. I’d seen something like it before, but I couldn’t put a name to it. She led us into a chamber big enough to fit a few houses, supported by columns that seemed too thin to handle the job.
“It reminds me of old Pegasopolan architecture,” Adagio said.
“That’s what I was trying to think of,” I said. “Cloudsdale. It’s more solid than cloud buildings but it’s got that same feel to it.”
“I’ll get Mom, you two wait here, okay?” Skystar waved and swam up into another chamber, leaving us alone.
“Now we just wait for something to go wrong,” I muttered.
“You’re worrying too much,” Adagio said, circling me slowly as I tried to stay in one place with the gentle currents pushing me around.
“Maybe you’re right,” I admitted. “Maybe we’re just one musical montage from you writing a friendship lesson to Twilight.”
“I’m not going to write some pithy little lesson to a pony Princess--” Adagio paused, looking at something to her side before she lunged, snapping her teeth.
“What are you doing?” I hissed, looking around to make sure there weren’t any seaponies watching..
Adagio looked at me, an orange fin between her teeth, swallowing before she answered.
“Just grabbing a snack,” she said, licking her lips.
“Don’t eat weird things!”
“Oh, stop worrying,” Adagio snorted. “It was just a fish. I distinctly remember you eating sushi.”
I gave her a flat look. “Sushi is a lot different from eating a fish while it’s still alive.”
Adagio leered at me. “You never complained when I was eating you--”
“Don’t.” I put a hoof over her mouth.
Princess Skystar swam into the room, looking around. “Are you girls coming? Mom sent for you a few minutes ago.”
“Nopony’s come in,” I said.
“Huh,” Skystar tapped her hoof against her lips, thinking. “Maybe they got scared off. Not because you’re scary, or anything! Because you’re not scary. I’m sure you’re very friendly! But you’re also sort of frightening.”
“But not scary?”
“Exactly!” Skystar agreed. “I’m glad you understand.”
I’d spent enough time around Pinkie Pie to know when it was time to just nod and smile and not ask questions. She waved for us to follow her through the tunnel in the ceiling.
The throne room was dark and expansive, large enough that even Adagio seemed small in it. Armored seaponies swam around the edges, keeping an eye on us from all angles.
“Welcome to Seaquestria.”
“Thank you for having us,” I said. “I hope we haven’t caused you too much trouble.”
Queen Novo waved a hoof, and one of her servants swam forward with a scroll. Most of a scroll. It was more mush than anything else.
“I’m not sure if it was the dragonfire delivery, the paper she used, or the wet ink, but please tell Princess Twilight that we received about half of her letter,” Queen Novo said. “We knew something was going on, but not what.”
“Thus the guards,” Adagio said, looking at them impassively. “I suppose I’m flattered that you thought you’d need an army.”
“After our experience with the Storm King, we’ve been convinced we need to fight instead of flee,” Queen Novo explained. “Hopefully neither will actually come to pass today.”
“That would be great,” I said. “We’re just here to examine one of your artifacts.”
“The Crown,” Queen Novo said. She clapped her hooves, and one of the circling guards swam down, bearing a chest that was a treasure all on its own, slabs of mother-of-pearl from some huge mollusk bound together with bronze fittings.
The guard opened the chest, revealing a huge crown of ancient gold with a strange pale cast to it. It was twisted into organic shapes that reminded me of seashells and kelp. It was too large for any pony to wear, except maybe as a belt. It would be right at home on Adagio’s huge draconian brow, though.
“The Crown of Leucosia is one of our most ancient and precious artifacts,” Queen Novo said. “It’s thousands of years old.”
“It is,” Adagio agreed. “I’m very familiar with it. My mother wore it.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You never told me you were royalty.”
“I’ve been royalty at least half a dozen times, though none of the kingdoms still exist.” Adagio leaned in to look more closely. “Mother wasn’t really a queen, though she pretended to the title. It was more like having a cult and a pantry at the same time.”
“May I?” I asked, motioning to the crown with a fin.
“Be careful with it,” Queen Novo warned.
I eased it out of the box using as little magic as possible, not wanting to trip any enchantments lingering on it with my telekinetic grip. There were three empty sockets the size of my hoof, the edges raw and torn, the engravings around them ruined by what were clearly tooth marks.
“I almost regret how rough we were,” Adagio mumbled. She touched her scarred chest.
“Are you okay?”
“It’s just indigestion,” she said, waving a hoof. “We did what we had to do. Mother only wanted one of us to be her heir, but we decided we were better as a chorus than fighting over who got to be the solo act. Aria and Sonata might be annoying and more than a little stupid, but they’re still my sisters.”
“We’ll give you quarters and someplace to study the Crown,” Queen Novo said. “It can’t be allowed to leave, but you’re free to study it here. My pet can lead you to the guest quarters.”
She whistled, and it sounded like whalesong.
I waited expectantly.
Nothing happened.
She whistled again, more loudly.
“That’s strange. Where is she?” Novo mumbled, then whistled something else.
An orange and white fish poked its head out of a glowing anemone and swam over, swimming in front of the Queen and looking panicked.
“Where’s Coral?” Queen Novo asked the fish. “I sent her out to get our guests and she never came back.”
“Uh oh,” Adagio whispered.
“Adagio,” I whispered. “That looks a lot like the fish you--”
“It was just a fish, Sunset,” she said. “Fish aren’t pets. They’re decorations at best.”
“THEY DID WHAT?!” Queen Novo screeched.
“Somebody’s in trouble,” Adagio chuckled.
Glares from around the room fixed on us as the guards slowed and stopped.
Adagio slopped laughing. “It’s us, isn’t it? We’re in trouble.”
“Seize them!” Novo roared.