The Would-be World Wreckers Club

by Justice3442


Chapter 1: Wild Horses

“Thank you for inviting me to this interdimensional slumber party, Twilight,” Trixie Lulamoon declared with a glare on her face as she stood next to a large black couch. A couch that was currently occupied by three ponies with three horns and two sets of wings amongst them. Trixie had aimed her glare at one of the ponies; one of the two ponies who selfishly had BOTH a horn and wings. A pony who simply returned the glower in kind.

Trixie continued, “This…” she declared as she motioned down with a forehoof, supposedly highlighting the fact that she was standing. “This is what you should do right now to thank Twilight for inviting you over!”

Sunset’s turquoise eyes made a rotation in their sockets as the alicorn shimmied herself back so far it seemed she was hoping her wings might take root in the couch itself. “I’m not getting up so you can steal my seat, Trixie! Besides, I brought all the equipment!” Sunset looked over to her right at Twilight Sparkle. “I’m just glad somepony else handled the power so I didn’t have to bring a generator.”

Twilight flashed Sunset a somewhat nervous smile. “Right…! Somepony else!”

--~o~--

“No, seriously!” A tiny Shibu Inu with a big voice exclaimed as he sat looking at long, somewhat bumpy rectangular table with a green tablecloth draped over it. Across from this dog, and in-between a very large pile of different colored poker chips, a much-shrunk Discord sat. Both were flanked with a collection of other so small dogs of various breeds. Each occupant studied a hand - or rather, a paw of five playing cards. “Where’d you get this table?” Order asked while skeptical looking over his house’s new addition. “I mean, it’s big enough, but the surface is all uneven.” Order trailed off as he motioned with a paw to a couple of massive black oblong shapes with giant cords leading away from them jutting out from one end of the table. “And what tha heck is even going on with that quarter of tha table?! What’s with tha big black triangle things?”

“Modern, postmodern, or post-postmodern sculptures of mine, I’m sure!” Discord said as he waved his claw of cards in front of his red visor dismissively. He leaned back in his chair, placing his cloven hoof and dragon foot on the ‘table’. “I mean, Is that reeeaaaally so important, dear brother?”

Order narrowed his eyes. “That depends? Are they going to explode?”

The other dogs at the table all let out growls or whimpers.

Discord regarded the odd ‘pillars’ for a moment. “Truth be told, they have a much smaller chance of exploding than most things I create.”

“That’s a pretty low bar…” Order quipped, his eyes narrowing further.

Discord rolled his eyes so hard he ended up rolling his entire head as well. “Oh, you're just mad about that paperweight I got you for your 100th-millennium birthday party!”

“It was a paperweight… THAT EXPLODED!” Order cried in a rather explosive tone. “Not only was it a BAD gift, it was terrible at its intended purpose!”

It was Discord’s time to narrow his eyes. “Consider that payback for my 100th-millennium gift! A time bomb that doesn't explode!”

“It was a watch, ya numskull!” Order shook his head. “A good one, too! Yer never gonna find another timepiece with a minute hand, millennium hand, and eon hand!”

Discord groaned. “Well, perhaps I just wish it didn’t take so long for everything to align for ‘happy land!’” He smiled widely and wickedly. “Now I have a question for you, dear brother,” he said in a menacing tone.

Order’s forehead simply wrinkled as he studied Discord’s face carefully. Likewise, the other dogs at the table leaned in and began sniffing the air in interest.

“Do you have any threes?” Discord asked.

“Yeah… A pair of ‘em,” Order answered.

Discord’s smile suddenly grew. “Well then, in that case, I call!”

“AGGGGH!” Order tossed his hand of cards onto the table as the other dogs barked and howled in displeasure. “I HATE Poker Fish!”

--~o~--

You stole Trixie’s seat!” Trixie accused angrily as she leveled a shaking forehoof at Sunset. “Trixie always gets the middle seat between Twilight and Starlight!”

Sunset glanced to her right and then to her left. To her right, Twilight seemingly watched with a touch of detached amusement, as if she was watching a friendship problem unfold in real time, yet low-key enjoying the action even though the outcome somewhat affected her. Sunset wrote it off as Twilight letting a fellow Princess with a perhaps overlapping field of expertise handle her own affairs. To her left, Starlight was already munching down popcorn as she watched the two mares fight, clearly high-key enjoying the action as Starlight often did when it came to real-life drama she was not the direct cause of.

From her own extensive experience diffusing friendship problems, Sunset could tell this was a delicate situation that required plenty of care. So, she opted to stick out her tongue. “First come, first serve!” exclaimed as she made a ‘Shoo, shoo’ motion with her forehooves. “You’ll be fine on the floor. You’re a ‘laying on the floor’ kind of pony. It suits you.”

Trixie narrowed her eyes. “Mark my words, Sunset Shimmer, for you have made a powerful enemy tonight! While my vengeance is not known to be swift, it is known to be overblown, very public, and quite possibly dangerous! Why, I’ve even had all of Ponyville under my control!”

A series of short and somewhat mocking laughs came out from the ponies in the room.

“Really… Just Ponyville?” Tempest Shadow drawled as she lounged on the floor in a onesie of black pajamas with an odd ‘open eye’ pattern.

“Hey!” Twilight protested. “This is not the proper environment to talk about that event or similar events you girls were involved in!”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “So what is the proper environment to talk about hostile takeovers of cities, schools, or possibly even countries?”

“Perhaps in a nice, controlled setting,” Twilight answered. She leaned forward to catch Starlight’s eye. “Like a heart-to-heart with a guidance counselor.”

Starlight began coughing as if she was choking on a piece of popcorn. Quickly swallowing, she forced a nervous smile. “S-sure!” Starlight answered. “I mean… I have tons of helpful talks and… uh… psychological word games for JUST such a discussion!” she insisted. “Inkblots… word associations… some… third thing I would have come up with if I was a licensed professional…”

Seemingly satisfied, Twilight turned back towards Trixie.

Starlight leaned over to Sunset and whispered a quick, “I don’t have any of those things…” prompting a slight giggle from Sunset.

Twilight continued, “Besides! I didn’t throw this slumber party so we could worry about what’s in the past, but so we could have some stress-free fun.”

“We’re watching a horror movie, Twilight,” Sunset reminded.

Twilight's carefully maintained smile was soured with anxiety. “Some… heart-pounding, hoof-biting, stress-free fun!”

“Still Trixie’s spot,” Trixie muttered in discontent.

Tempest shook her head, “I don’t see what the big deal is. A couch is a wholly unnecessary item of luxury.”

Sunset looked down and smirked. “Says the pony wearing a hoofzie onesie,” she snarked.

Tempest merely narrowed her eyes at Sunset. The two on her face -- that is, and not the dozens that adorned her black onesie with its trio of buttons leading down from the collar. “This thermal suit has kept me alive during many freezing nights outside alone!”

Trixie smirked. “Oh, also tell her how you were alone because your friends got to go to Celestia’s School and left you all alone! I’m sure that’ll show Sunset!”

This remark was met with a glare from Tempest which suggested she just might be willing to electrocute Trixie in full view of Twilight and a sad whimper from Starlight. One or both managed to get Trixie to shut up.

Sunset’s smug smile only grew and she spoke up before Twilight could get in another word. “Okay, but we’re not outside, edgier and more adorable Rambo,” she answered, causing Starlight and Trixie to snicker.

Tempest grit heart teeth as her horn shot out a few angry sparks. “I don’t know who or what Rambo is, but I’m prepared to make this room outside!”

“Hey!” Twilight snapped. “I have a strict ‘no blowing up parts of the castle to win arguments’ rule!”

Sunset and Tempest paused for a moment as they stared at Twilight, slowly they turned to look at Starlight expectantly.

Starlight narrowed her eyes in irritation and pointed a forehoof toward the pony sitting below her.

“Trixie needed more room for setting off fireworks and was showing Twilight her problem was an ‘easy fix’!”

“You shouldn’t have been trying to launch fireworks indoors in the first place!” Twilight shot back.

“It was raining and COLD outside!” Trixie shot back.

“Then don’t schedule your shows on days like that!” Twilight countered. “It’s not like we live in some sort of crazy world where the weather isn’t controlled and scheduled!”

Trixie folded her forelegs across her chest. “Why should Trixie be forced to schedule around whatever the local pegasi think the weather should be?! They should make their schedule around my shows!” She shook her head. “What have the local pegasi done that’s so great, hmmm?”

Starlight spoke up, “Rainbow Dash has helped save Equestria a buncha times!” she informed helpfully electing a glare framed by a crinkled brow from Trixie. Starlight continued, “Oh… She’s also a Wonderbolt on top of that… So, there’s that…”

This addition only exacerbated the wrinkles on Trixie’s face.

Twilight sighed heavily and looked over toward the TV like a condemned pony might look at a guillotine. “Let’s just get this over with…”

Sunset raised an eyebrow once more. “If you want to watch something else—”

“No, no!” Twilight insisted. “We took a vote and it was clear ‘horror’ is what the group wanted.” Twilight stared down accusingly at Trixie. “Well… most of the group.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re getting at,” Trixie said.

“You changed your vote in the middle of us deciding what movie to watch!” Twilight reminded.

“That proves nothing!” Trixie exclaimed, affronted.

“After I specifically said, that horror ‘freaks me out’!”

Trixie’s affront evaporated into a merry grin as she tittered out a pleased, “Yeah…”

Twilight let out a frustrated growl.

Sunset held up a rectangular blue box with a picture on it of something dark and foreboding. “Okay, okay. Let’s cut through the real-life drama where some pony might get killed with some fake drama where the fake-deaths are one hundred percent assured, alright?”

Trixie glanced at the blue box in Sunset’s forehoof then turned to look at a much larger rectangular black box sitting under an even larger rectangular black object sitting up vertically. She smirked at Sunset. “Whoops! Looks like you’ll have to get up to start your fancy film-stri—”

With a red glow of her horn, Sunset opened the blue-box and produced a reflective disc which she floated over towards the rectangular device under the screen.

“No fair!” Trixie whined as Sunset inserted the disk into the device.

Sunset just shook her head. “Did you really think I’d forget I could do that?”

“…Well… Trixie hoped…” Trixie mumbled.

Sunset shook her head. “Every day I’m not a pony I think at least once about how much easier my life would be if I could still levitate things…” Her eyes widened and unfocused, as if staring at something far, far in the distance. “Really… Every. Single. Day.”

“Yeah, it really seemed like a long shot… Oops…”

Twilight, Sunset, and Starlight all perked up and leaned their heads over the side of the couch.

A nervous smile on his face, Spike gave them an equally nervous chuckle and a little wave.

“Spike,” Twilight began in a chastising tone, “I told you that this movie was too scary for a baby dragon!”

Spike narrowed his eyes slightly and pointed to his wings with his thumb-claw.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well… early-pubescent dragon, I guess… maybe.”

“C’mon, Twilight!” Spike replied. “After all the dangers I’ve faced with you and other things I’ve done, you really think a scary movie is a concern for me?!”

“Spike, I said ‘no’!” Twilight countered in her best mom voice.

Spike sighed, stood up, and shrugged. “Fine, fine…” he replied as he turned and walked away.

Sunset interjected, “Uh, you kinda gave up there pretty fast, dude. I really thought you had something there with that ‘dangers’ line.”

Starlight chuckled. “Yeah, you’ve dealt with me before. I froze you with magic.” She added in a mumble.

“And me,” Sunset added. “I kinda kidnapped you when you were just a small dog.”

“Hmmm, also me,” Tempest mused. Though, I don’t think I ever threatened you directly.”

“Trixie imprisoned Spike!” Trixie interjected. “And all of Ponyville!”

“Again, not that impressive,” Tempest countered.

“And not a good time or appropriate setting to discuss!” Twilight added.

Sunset just turned back to Spike. “Seriously though, you’re letting this one go pretty easily.”

Spike looked over his shoulder and smirked before turning back to face the girls. “Are you kidding?” He pointed an index claw at Twilight. “Twilight can’t make it through a scary chapter of a book without her ‘cuddle dragon’, there’s no way she can sit through a movie without me.”

The other four ponies turned and smirked at Twilight who met their looks with a blush and an embarrassed smile.

Spike continued, “I doubt she makes it halfway through before she grabs me and holds on for dear life.” Spike once again turned and began walking towards the room's exit. “See you soon, girls~!” Spike crowed knowingly.

The greatly amused expressions of the other four ponies continued to haunt Twilight.

“What?” Twilight protested. “It’s fine! I mean… I’ve handled nightmare manifestations made real, a Chaos God, and a centaur powered by most of pony-kind’s accumulated magic just to name a few! I’m sure I can—”

“Oh, and me!” Starlight interrupted.

“And me,” Sunset added.

“Also, me,” Tempest chimed in.

“And Trixie twice!” Trixie exclaimed.

“Oh!” Starlight began. “Well if quantity counts then—”

“Ugh! Stop! Stop!” Twilight demanded. “How many times do I have to say it?!”

“How about ‘zero more times’,” Sunset suggested. With another red flash of her horn the lights in the room went out, the ponies now only illuminated by the screen in front of them. “Let’s get this party started!”

“Ugh! Stop! Stop!” Twilight said in a slightly panicked expression.

Sunset frowned. “Twilight, if you’re not up for this—”

“I’m just not ready yet!” Twilight insisted. Glancing around the room, her horn flashed magenta and she floated over a light-blue pillow almost the size of Twilight herself. Pulling it into a tight embrace of her forehooves she declared, “Okay, I’m ready!”

Smiling and shaking her head, Sunset magicked-up a few button touches, and started the movie.

About fifteen minutes later, Twilight was clutching the pillow with all six of her appendages. Spike was not so discreetly watching with interest with his head poking up from behind the couch. Sunset watched with an interested smile as she laid belly-down on the couch, a cup in her forehooves as she sucked soda down through a straw. Starlight still sat while she munched on a big bucket of popcorn. Trixie laid in front of Twilight and Sunset, the magicians' expression becoming increasingly agitated and perhaps just a bit frightened as things on the TV screen grew increasingly tense. In stark contrast to Trixie, Tempest laid with her chin resting on one of her forelegs as she simply watched with an amused expression.

“You know what, Sunset,” Trixie said out of the blue. “You’re right… the floor does suit me. In fact, it’s waaaaaay better than that dumb ol’ couch.”

Sunset took a loud and long sip of her drink. “Still not getting my spot, Trixie.”

“Oh, why would I want that silly thing?” Trixie said. “The floor is ten-no, a hundred times better than—”

A chilling cry erupted from the speakers in front of the girls. “He was dead all along!” a male’s voice declared, accompanied by dramatic music and a woman’s scream.

Trixie responded with a scream of her own as she attempted to insert herself in the small space between Sunset’s flank and Starlight.

Moments later, Twilight’s pillow was gone, replaced with Spike who was currently being squeezed too tightly to utter an ‘I told you so’.

And so it went. The four ponies and one dragon all crammed onto one couch and the one pony on the floor who remained there. Her most notable movement of the evening when she placed her back on the front of the couch with a yawn around the climax of the film.

Well over an hour later, it was complete and racing hearts and faces contorted in dread slowed and relaxed as nice, calm reality (with its only occasional visits of ghost) set in.

“Well, what did you guys think?” Sunset asked.

“I liked it!” Starlight replied.

Twilight said nothing, her face buried in Spike’s neck. Spike likewise said nothing, being squeezed a bit too tightly to manage speech. Trixie also did not voice her opinion, given she had likely not heard the question since she was preoccupied with attempting to dig a hole in-between Sunset’s pillow and Starlight.

Tempest just chuckled and shook her head. “I can’t believe this sort of stuff passes for entertainment in your world, Sunset.”

Smiling, Starlight just rolled her eyes. “Alright, Dark Storm, maybe next time we’ll pick a different genre since clearly you are the one who ‘bumps’ back at all the monsters in the world.”

Tempest stood up and fixed Sunset with a glare. “Oh, I assure, you…” she said menacingly as a few sparks fired from her broken horn. “I can be quite frightening when I need to be.”

“Hah!” Sunset exclaimed. “Pu-lease, Shady Squall! You don’t hold a roman candle to the horrors I’ve seen… or been,” Sunset added darkly.

“Horrors! Hah! Right!” Starlight chimed in. “I know I’ve caused a few,” she said with a dismissive wave of a forehoof.

Trixie’s head perked up. Trixie once stole Pinkie’s mouth and put it in a garbage can!”

All eyes turned towards Trixie.

“I mean… that’s pretty scary, right?” Trixie said.

“Not this again!” Twilight said as she relaxed her grip on Spike. He took a much-needed deep breath as Twilight shook her head. “Look, do we need to talk these feelings out?”

“Ugh… Pass…” Tempest said. She turned towards the room’s exit. “Well, if that’ll be all, Princess.”

“We should have a late-night snack!” Twilight blurted out as she scrambled off the couch and onto her hooves.

Sunset took the opportunity to ooze away from Trixie who had not relented in her attempt to make a place for herself on the couch despite the fact that she found Sunset and her demandable alicorn strength quite unmovable.

“Good idea!” Spike said as he intertwined his claws behind his head and leaned back on the couch. “You can make food for everypony and we’ll chilla-whoa!” Spike suddenly found himself snatched off the couch in a magenta glow and not-so-gently plopped down on the floor next to Twilight. Sunset took this opportunity to take over Twilight’s seat entirely, much to Trixie’s delight.

“Bu-but I need your help!” Twilight insisted. “You make just the best nachos!”

“Well, that’s true,” Spike replied, “but I think it’s just because you don’t want to be alone!”

“What! N-no! Tha-That’s ridiculous!” Twilight stuttered out.

“Great!” Spike said, “So you won’t mind getting started while I go to the ‘little dragon’s room’!”

“Ghah! No! I mean… Do you need any help!? AH! I mean… Uh…”

“Would it make you feel better if we go grab Grubber and ask him to help with the nachos?”

“… Yes, please.”

“I want a quesadilla!” Trixie exclaimed.

“You’ll get nachos and LIKE it!” Twilight snapped back angrily.

Still curled up on the couch, Sunset waited for the hoof and claw steps to leave the room and walk down the hall a bit before her head perked up. “Alright, they’re gone…” She looked over the other three ponies present. “Let’s swap some stories of when we were evil.”

“What?! Evil!” Starlight protested. “Okay, my methods might have been a tad… extreme, but my goals were—”

Trixie gasped. “Sunset, Twilight would not approve of that at all!” A wicked smile manifested onto her face. “Let’s do it!”

Tempest flashed Sunset an unamused look. “And just what is the point of this exercise, exactly?”

Trixie chuckled to herself. “Leave it to Tempest to miss the point.”

Tempest was nearly on top of Trixie snarling as tiny arcs of electricity began to spill from her broken horn in an instant.

“I clearly took it too far! Trixie took it too far!” Trixie exclaimed in a panic.

Starlight shot Tempest a look of imminent violence. But before flying sparks could turn into real lightning and magical blasts of real consequence could be fired off, Tempest found herself being gently pushed back with a red glow of magic matching a glow from Sunset’s horn.

“Alright, I think Trixie gets the message,” Sunset said. Tempest backed away from Trixie as Sunset continued, “Anyhow, all of us here have been offering up our misdeeds since we got in the room together, yourself included. I figured we could clear the air a little bit.”

Starlight smirked. “More like pollute it.”

Sunset shrugged. “You say ‘to-may-toe’ I say ‘botched-alicorn-ascension-attempt-that-almost-ruined-a world-or-two’.” She looked across the ponies in the room. “So, what do you all say?”

Starlight frowned. “Okay, but what if Twilight comes back and hears us comparing our not-so-nice exploits?”

“We’ll tell her it’s just group therapy,” Sunset said without missing a beat.

Ohhh… Good one!” Starlight replied. “In that case, I’m definitely in.”

“The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie will happily tell her tales of woe and misdeeds and how she overcame them to become the hero she is today!”

All eyes were now on Tempest.

Most of them literally.

Tempest offered the girls a smile. “Alright, this does sound like more my speed than anything Twilight was suggesting regarding the topic.”

“Great!” Sunset said. “Oh! One thing before we start…”

Tempest raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

Sunset leaned past Trixie to look at Starlight. “Where’s the nearest bathroom!?” she asked with a pained expression on her face.

“Oh, uh…” Starlight thought for a moment. “It’s, erm… down the hall… uh… third, fourth, possibly fifth door on the left… maybe right!”

“Ghah! Trixie where’s—”

“I see what you did,” Trixie replied. “So, I’m not telling you.”

Sunset let out a pained gurgling noise. “Tempest! Where—”

“Out the door, fourth door on the right past the engraving of a tree with three branches.”

“Thank you, Tempest!” Sunset exclaimed as she made a mad dash out the room.

“You know what?” Tempest said to nopony in particular. “I think I like her.”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Really? After that display?”

“She drank that massive soda and held it in for the entire movie out of spite…” Tempest chuckled to herself. “Or perhaps Sprite, even. That’s the kind of attitude I can get behind.”

Trixie snorted. “Okay, but she only got up because she knows you won’t—”

Tempest took this opportunity to hop onto the couch in the space left unoccupied by Sunset and made herself comfortable, much to Trixie and Starlight’s surprise. “You know, I might also owe Sunset an apology,” Tempest quipped as she shimmied herself further into the back cushion. “This couch is comfy.”