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// Will Never Hurt Me 
// Story: A Matter of Insults 
// by Sense of Humor 
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Kite flying wasn't anything more than boring to Discord. He couldn't think of anything more bizarre and irritating than getting the thing to stay up in the sky to begin with. The wind was too choppy where he positioned himself, with too many variables that Starlight was all too happy to point out in kite flying. A random fact about kites here, a verse over kites there...it never seemed to occur to her how bored he was looking.

Discord raised an unimpressed eyebrow down at her as she ranted on about a past experience with her first kite; with such a giddy smile on her face, no pony would have ever suspected her of being an insane dictator with a grudge against cutie marks. Heck, even he had been caught off guard by that banishing spell due to how nice she'd been acting prior. He'd mistaken her for a softy, needless to say.

Well, in a way, she was.

The Spirit of Chaos idly yawned as she continued halfway through the tale, thoughts tracing back to his apology. It was almost baffling how powerful apologies were for these over dramatic horses--even the disowning of family could be fixed with heartfelt sorry's. How pathetic and weak! Forgiveness is nothing but a tool for liars to backstab you later, to take more from you than what they started with. If Tirek, may he rot in Tartarus, were to reform and ask for forgiveness, Discord would turn him into parsnips. Then burn the parsnips.

Sorry for stealing the cookie, mom. Discord thought sourly as an example. No. Sorry for getting caught this time.

He blinked as sound returned to him, and he noticed Starlight staring up at him worriedly. "Um...Why are you frowning like that?"

"I'm confused." Was all he said. And he was.

"Well, keep in mind I was only three at the time," Starlight reminded him.

"Not that," Discord pulled off his head, opened the skull like a jar and cleaned the inside of his head. "Forgiveness and Insults and such things."

Her ears lowered against her head. "What about it?"

"Everything. I threw a crippling remark at you, say sorry and everything is all hunky dory again! " He screwed his head back on, grimacing. "Same for when I purposely poofed the Friendship table  to send Fluttershy and the others on a wild goose chase! I didn't even say sorry and we're all friends again!"

"...And...?"

"And it means I have no repercussions! It leaves me open to doing unfriendly things all over again! To do my usual antics and cause chaos wherever I go! Forgiveness...it just allows me to repeat myself!"

"Discord," She offered him a sympathetic smile. "I know you blatantly insult me again, forgiveness or not."

"Why not?! You'd probably do it anyway, for the sake of 'friendship'! And then we'd do this same thing again and again." He huffed as he plopped down on the hill. "The funny thing is that I've been weakened considerably by my time with Fluttershy! What I called you was my least biting remarking on the Insult list!"

A look between confusion and outrage flashed across her face. "You...have a list of insults for me?!"

He grinned darkly. "Indeed I do! I had things ranging from Incompetent to childish dictator to...well, things that would probably make you want to kill me. " He crossed his arms confidentially. "But don't feel so flattered. I have an insult list for every pony!"

"But why?"

"Look around! I may be reformed...but even your goody horseshoes Twilight Sparkle gives me the stink eye when I enter the room." Discord explained without meeting her gaze, teeth exposed in a sneer. "When most of your existence involves that kind of attitude and ponies talking about you behind your back, you learn the hard way: words do hurt. So why bother being nice? A snappy remark hurts just as much as a buck to the face."

Silence filled the gap between them, marked occasionally by the rustle of grass in the wind. Starlight crept over to Discord's side as she reeled in the kite, staring at him with a look of sympathy. She pawed the ground for some time before her hoof rubbed up her foreleg. "So that's why you didn't apologize until...earlier. You assumed I'd either snap back or pretend I didn't care."

"And yet you had the gall to apologize to me for screwing up your school plans. "

Starlight rolled her eyes and sighed. "So, you have an insult list for everyone? Like Princess Celestia?"

"Yes."

"What about Fluttershy?" When he didn't answer, she poked him roughly in the side. "Discord, don't get all quiet on me now."

The Draconequus groaned aloud but said nothing for what felt like an hour. Just the mare opened her mouth to say something, he spoke. "Alright, I tore up the list and ate it for good measure."

She tilted her head and frowned. "...Why? I thought you said--"

"I know what I said. I also know, for a fact, that she has said nothing. Nothing bad that is." Discord blinked as if he could see the yellow pegasus now. "She's never said anything bad about me. Never refused eye contact and almost never frowned upon my chaos magic.  It...er...It didn't seem right to be ready to say mean things to her. I don't want to say mean things to her."

"Fluttershy actually tried to reach out to you, so that makes sense. In a way, she forgave you for being a villain and also that one time at The Grand Galloping Gala...and that Tirek incident," The unicorn pointed out. "Did you make her regret forgiving you?"

"What?! Never!"

"Then what's all this fussing about?"

The question was so abrupt that Discord whipped his eyes down to look at her--literally. She had an eyebrow raised in confusion. "Yes, there's a possibility that ponies are still going to be mean even if you're trying to be better and not every pony is gonna be a non-backstabber. But do you think Twilight would still be mean to you if you occasionally popped up with...I don't know--a coffee and a good book?"

"Um, no?"

"Or what if you went to Celestia, and...made her laugh or something? Really brightened up her day?"

"I suppose she...might want to see me again."

"And if you helped Trixie with one her shows?"

Discord gave her a deadpan stare.

"Yeah, nevermind. Take me for example! Even though you find kites boring--and I know you do," Starlight smirked softly. "You still flew one with me! And I'm gonna repay that kindness by hanging out with you someday and...doing whatever Draconequui do for fun?"

Discord rubbed his beard in thought. "So you're saying that I should waste my time being nicer to every pony in hopes that every pony will automatically be nice to me?"

"When you put it like that, no. You should expect time with this. Which shouldn't be too much of a problem, with you being immortal and all."

"Hmmph. This doesn't change a single thing about my views on forgiveness and insults...but, I suppose," He rolled his eyes. "That I could be troubled to experiment with your notions."

"Well, words are powerful, Discord. You can use them to hurt or help yourself."

Discord and Starlight shared a similarly tired gaze, then slowly gazed up a sky brightened by the sun.