As Anon and Starlight walked into the kitchen, the smell of food filled Anon's nostrils. He smelled... pancakes! Tha's always a good choice. Then he saw a literal mountain of pancakes. There must have been at least 100 pancakes stacked like a pyramid.
"Does Twilight like pancakes, or what?" Anon muttered.
"Yes, I do!" Twilight leaned her head from the back of the stack. "They're the only thing I know how to make!"
"Anon, the less you ask, the better." Again, the dictator creeped back into Starlight's voice. "Just take a seat."
The grumble of Anon's stomach reminded him to not bitch, just eat. Eat... how many damn pancakes? There were just too many. Was there at least maple syrup?
"Is there at least maple syrup? SHIT!" After asking the question, a bottle of syrup launched itself right at his muzzle. "OW!" A hoof flew to try and rub the pain away, and the other went to the syrup. However, it flew away from Anon's hoof, directly above him, opened itself up, and poured itself all over him. "WHAT!"
Sticky. The first thing he thought of was how sticky he would be, literally covered top to bottom in the liquid. It didn't help that the other ponies in the room were laughing their asses off. "Ew. TWILIGHT!" He looked at accused pony, who had a small smile on her face. "WHY?"
"You took our ruler's name in vain. Have fun eating pancakes!" Before trotting off to do nothing, Twilight flew another bottle of syrup to Starlight. "Don't share it with him."
"Got it."
Then Twilight was out of the room, leaving an Anon covered in sticky fluids and Starlight munching on pancakes. Anon eyed the syrup, but reluctantly took a bite of a pancake. It was... crunchy. A bit burnt. After that pitiful swallow, it didn't take long for him to ask.
"Please?"
"Absolutely not."
"Can you at least get this syrup off of me?" Anon looked at the embarrassing state, still covered.
"No."
"Why?"
"Because." Starlight's eyes looked angery.
"Why are you salty? Be sweet."
"Because you intruded on me earlier."
"I said I was sorry!"
"I heard no such thing."
"Yes, you did."
"No. Didn't I mention I'm hard of hearing?"
"You hear me just fine! Why are you doing this to me? Last thing I need today is this."
"I feel like messing with you."
Anon crossed his forelegs. Since he got used to feeling sticky, the movement of his limbs didn't bother him. If she would mess with him, well, he had to strike back. "Starlight, I've got a question." She turned to face him, ready for what he would ask. Little did she know...
"Is your pussy as dry as these pancakes?"
Starlight's jaw fell open. It seemed like anger, shock, and embarrassment all took over Starlight at the same time, leaving her open for the syrup to be stolen by a quick Anon. "I... How dare you."
*WHACK*
Out of nowhere appeared a newspaper, rolled up and ready to whack ponies. It was surrounded by a green aura, and the one controlling it was eager to use it.
"I will beat you into oblivion. Not even Starswirl the Bearded could fix you after this."
After many whacks and screams from a soprano, Anon walked right up to Starlight. "You hit like a mare." Then Anon whacked her with his hoof. Starlight flew across the room, muzzle already broken and bleeding.
"OW! Twi-" Before Starlight could say her lover's name, Anon covered her mouth with his hoof.
"Ok, overpowered bitch. What is up your ass that makes you so pissed off today?"
After removing his hoof with her magic, Starlight flew Anon across the room like he did to her. "I will fuck you up so badly, no mare will ever look at you again."
"Oh, that's a relief. I thought you wanted to fuck me so badly. Not today, bubble butt." The smirk on Anon's face only pissed her off that much more. Starlight looked quickly at her butt. It wasn't that big... was it? But the longer she stared at it... Wait. There's an advantage here!
"...Since you love my butt so much, why don't you look at it closer? In fact, you know what vore is?"
The following sound played both in Anon's mind and from his throat.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlgV0StAXw4
He ran away from Starlight, out of the room, and to anywhere away from the... demon doesn't even begin to describe her. What do you call a pony that goes beyond the worst word available? Super bitch? But Anon could contemplate word choice later; his life was in danger and on the line! And that danger appeared right in front of him with a flash. Oh right. Unicorns can teleport. Damn.
"Come on, Anon! I won't bite! Just swallow you up!" Her voice now seemed possessed like one of those G Major memes. At the word "swallow", adrenaline filled Anon's veins to run even faster, even further. His breath was coming in short and frequent gasps. His mind could only form one word.
"Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope!" The image you have in your mind now changed to a Pac-Man screen, with Anon's face replacing Pac-Man's, and Starlight following close behind. Instead of "Waka Waka Waka", imagine "Nope! Nope! Nope!" Total fourth-wall break, but I don't care.
After gaining enough of a space ahead of Starlight, Anon opened a random door, then ran in and closed it. He could feel a small space, barely big enough for him to fit. However, if it kept him safe, he would take it. "Finally." He sighed heavily.
"Come out of the closet! It's no secret you're in there!"
He also screamed heavily. Then he opened the door, and ran heavily. "Starlight, what do you want?!" Then something strange happened. His legs moved, muscles contracted and relaxed, but he wasn't moving. Then a tug on his tail forced him to turn his head around. The tug was because Starlight had his tail.
"I want some of this tail. And to have some fun."
And no matter how much Anon screamed, or how loudly, or how much he tried to resist, his body was dragged to Starlight. She held him upside-down by the tail, their faces looking at each other. After a few seconds, Anon was dropped, and Starlight chuckled.
"Thanks for the fun. I was really bored today!"
Anon slowly got up to stand, and his mind was putting pieces together. "Wait, bitch. You scared me, unnerved me, and now I hate you. HATE. You. Because you were bored? You are a bitch of another degree!"
Starlight raised an eyebrow. Her face seemed to mock offense. "And what shall you do against an 'overpowered bitch'?" Her horn glowed slightly to seal her point. "Thanks to you, breakfast is ruined." With a flash, they were back in the kitchen. "See?"
"But. I..."
"Enough about me. What kind of music do you like?" The cheeriness in Starlight's voice definitely was not there before.
"Starlight. What's wrong with you? Are you bipolar or something?"
Spike walked in at that moment. "She probably hasn't been cuddled yet. She gets REALLY moody without daily cuddling." He poured himself a cup of coffee before turning to walk out. "Believe me, I've been in your spot before, bud. Good luck."
"...What has today turned into?!" Anon sat on his haunches and put both front hooves on his head. This shit just couldn't make sense to him, no matter how it was put! However, his eyes saw Starlight staring at him. Was that hope in her eyes? Hope... Rhymes with NOPE! "No. Starlight, get that thought out of your mind. Starlight." He sounded like he was scolding a foal. However, as she started walking towards him, he tried walking back. Idiot. He forgot he was on his haunches, so he just fell on his back. "OOF! Starlight. Don't!" But his words fell on deaf ears as he was grabbed by Starlight's magic, then her hooves. "Starlight!"
As she nuzzled his neck, Anon reluctantly put his right hoof around her neck. "...You're weird." Her cuddling just became more forceful, and she moved her neck back, with Anon's hoof still around her. It was at this moment that Anon knew.
He fucked up.
See, by cuddling Starlight, his muscles were extended in his right hoof. What does that mean? Well, remember the massage?
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!"
That pulled muscle never quite healed.
If Anon's form on the floor was any indication, it hurt to even walk. To even put his hoof in front of him to get up and stand would be a chore. He was in agony, but still tried to do deep breaths. "It. It hurts. Starlight." At least his neck was well enough to look at her. "Can you please, pretty fucking please, get me to the hospital?"
A green aura covered Anon's foreleg. "Oh, don't worry. I've fixed many broken bones back in my hayday!"
"It's not a bone. It's a pulled muscle."
"Then why not push it back into place?"
"STARLIGHT! Now is NOT the time for jokes! If you get me to the hospital, I owe you one! Deal?"
As soon as he said that, Starlight's smile turned into an evil grin. First gear in her mind went into fifth gear, and even faster than that. "What would you do for me? I like to make sure the favors I am owed are... worthwhile."
"...How does a hoof massage sound?"
"I like the sound of that. But that's not enough."
"A full body massage?"
"I do like massages, but I prefer cuddling."
"How about cuddling right after a massage?"
"...That sounds nice. Now. How about a magic trick?"
Then Anon saw the inside of Twilight's castle change into a wooden roof and wall. 'Hospital. Not too shabby, Star.' "Thanks." But his thanks was overshadowed by the receptionist asking, "Ok, what's going on here?"
Anon wasted no time. "I pulled a muscle earlier, and I think it just now tore completely. I need help ASAP!" While he spoke, Starlight still tried to nuzzle him. He tried pushing away with his good hoof, but to no success. "Starlight. Not the time. Stop!"
The receptionist regarded them with confusion. "Um, can you not, Starlight? I know you like cuddling, but he's right. Stop it now!" A thwack of a clipboard and short yelp later, and Anon was being levitated to a room. "This one's open. Put him on the bed." After making sure he was on the mattress, the mare started walking out and said, "The nurse will be in shortly."
"Thank you." Anon situated himself. The mattress was a bit too firm for him, but these beds weren't made for comfort. They were made for torture, or walking, or something like that. Speaking of torture, Starlight was still there.
"I owe you that favor when I get better."
"No time like the present!" Then Starlight got on the bed, and got comfortable. Even if the mattress wasn't comfortable, Anon was a good body pillow. A body pillow that struggled, but was warm. The trade-off was worth it!
"STARLIGHT! GET OFF!"
"Oh, I plan to..."