A Week With A Loon: Chapter 2
By: Metal Squirrel Chaos
A loud bang accompanied the arrival of the Princess of the Night’s return to her room. Behind her trailed her two loyal as ever guards, both with saddened looks on their faces.
Morningstar decided to take a risk. “Princess Luna, is there any-”
But before he could finish, both guards jumped back in time to avoid the rapidly closing door from smashing their faces.
Princess Luna, Midnight Maiden and the Goddess of the Moon, trotted towards and then slumped onto her bed with a heavy sigh, letting the soft cloud bed take away her woes. After such a horrible day, it had its work cut out for it..
It had all started off so promising, too.
***
Luna, followed closely by Equinox and Morningstar, was almost prancing as she entered the Throne Room late in the morning. Here was where both Courts met every Day and Night. Her smile was wide across her face as she ascended the stairs to the throne itself, before sitting against the gentle and rather plush seat of power. Her two faithful guards took up their positions in front of the stairs, ready to defend Her Majesty if the need arrives.
That was unlikely in all honesty, but it was still something that they took very seriously.
“Very well then,” the Lunar Defender had to restrain herself from giggling maddeningly as she spoke. Talking to Fancy Pants had put her in quite the mood. She turned her attention to the other stallion in the room, a Day Guard unicorn who was in charge of both guarding the door and monitoring each individual who came to speak to the ruling Diarch. “WE FEEL READY TO BEGIN THE COURT OF THE SUN!”
“Yes, your Majesty.” the gruff stallion responded, eying the dark counterparts he stood across from. “Our guests have been lined up in an orderly fashion based on your sister’s ‘First Come, First Serve’ policy.”
“EXCELLENT!” The Princess of Stars could barely contain her excitement. In fact, she could not. “THEN LET THE COURT OF DAY COME TO ORDER!” she let loose, letting her voice radiate through the castle with both authority and strength, despite her still unfitting size. “WHO WOULD STAND BEFORE US FIRST?!”
The unicorn at the door, while trying to recover his ability to hear and feel feelings in his legs, also managed to bring out a notepad with a list on it. “Our first guest of this glorious day is from Ponyville. He appears to be the assistant to the Mayor of said town. His name is...” the guard squinted as he read the name. “Doctor Time Turner?”
At that moment the door the guard was standing in front of came ajar, and the head of a brown furred and darker brown manned earth pony appeared from behind it. “Just The Doctor, if you will. Not much on the name, but John Smith doesn’t sound very pony-like does it?”
The Day Guards blinked. “What? How did you...that door was locked! Get back and do not appear until you are called,” he practically shouted.
“Oh come on,” the deceptively ordinary looking pony said with a face wide grin, before stepping his way inside the Throne Room. “Why keep a Princess waiting for her gift?” It was now that everyone present noticed the blue cardboard box he was carrying on his back.
“A gift?” Princess Luna’s eyes lit up and ears spiking toward the ceiling.She quickly stifled her emotions with a cough. No reason to make herself look less than royal. “BRING THIS GIFT TO US, AND WE WILL ACCEPT IT WITH GRATITUDE IN OUR HEART!”
The Doctor smiled brightly and trotted toward her, as the Day Guards continued to try to get use to his Night Ruler’s rather lacking indoor voice.
Morningstar and Equinox both wondered silently why this strange earth pony was unaffected. It had taken them a few days at least to get use to Princess Luna’s Voice.
Time Turner, or The Doctor, approached the throne before setting the box gently at the bottom step, with both personal Night Guard glaring at him, ready to make a move, in case he did first. They were slightly curious when, in fact, he did not, and simply stepped back from the throne.
The Midnight Maiden wasted little time, barely containing her excitement. This would be her first gift from a modern day subject. Lifting the box with her magic, Luna brought the container to her, smiling brightly as she opened it...only to look more confused as she pulled out a small jar of orange syrup-like fluid from inside. “What is this?” she asked.
Morningstar, who had watched everything carefully, tilted his head in confusion. “It looks like a jar of-”
“Marmalade!” said Time Turner, grinning unnaturally wide. “Isn’t that fantastic?”
Luna stared at the jar, considering it. A food item. Not exactly traditional, but a gift was a gift. She was sure there was a modern expression that went with this situation, but she could hardly remember it at the moment. “WE ACCEPT THIS GIFT WHOLEHEARTEDLY! FETCH THE ROYAL CHEF SO THAT HE MAY PREPARE A MEAL WITH THIS CULINARY ITEM!”
Equinox, wordlessly, as always, saluted before trotting out of the room through the side entrance. Moments later, he returned, carrying on his back a plate with two slices of toast, bathed in the jelly.
The Princess, eager to taste her first gift, levitated the plate to her mouth, before taking a deep bite of the toast. It was then she remembered she had skipped breakfast. It did not take long for her to finish both slices. “THIS GIFT TASTES EXQUISITE! WE THANK THE, DOCTOR TIME TURNER, FOR THY THOUGHTFULNESS!” she licked her lips, catching a bit that had stuck to her mouth.
“Just The Doctor, if you will, your Highness,” he reminded her. “You enjoyed it then?”
“VERILY.”
The Doctor’s eyes narrowed a bit. “You don’t feel...different? Lighter?” This got dark looks from every guard in the room.
The Princess seemed less worried about the possibility of poisons, and more irritated at the possibility of an insult. “DID THOU JUST CALL US OVERWEIGHT?!”
At that, the only earth pony in the room dipped his head down and rubbed his chin with a hoof. “Hmm, it must be something else. Maybe not sweet enough. Or maybe it’s not a jelly after all. Jello? No no they don’t even-”
All eyes were on the strange stallion as he turned and walked out of the Throne Room, muttering to himself. As he left, the Day Guard closed the doors with their magic. “My apologies, Princess,” said the Day Guard. “I shall screen your guests more thoroughly before-”
He was interrupted as the door behind him opened once more, The Doctor’s head sticking out again. “Terribly sorry to bother you again-”
“I keep locking that door how do you keep opening it?!”
“-but I’ll need that box back. It’s blue you see and I do love blue boxes.”
All eyes turned to the ordinary cardboard box still laying at the base of the throne. Luna nodded to the unicorn Day Guard, who sighed and gripped it in a magical field, before returning it to the strange earth pony’s hooves.
“Thanks very much then. Oh,” his eyes got wide, his face suddenly very serious. “And do remember: blue boxes are VERY important. Don’t forget!”
At that, the bizarre earth pony left the room.
***
It was a WEIRD start to say the least, but she had received what she thought was a very nice gift. It was good to see that not everyone feared or hated her. She could get use to that.
But that was only the beginning, a false promise. Other guests began to flood the Throne Room afterward. At first it was what most would consider “normal” for a court. Land disputes. Law disputes. Talk of tax reform. She could do such trivial things in her sleep.
And thanks to a certain bearded unicorn Archmage, she had done just that once.There was a reason she didn’t use that spell anymore.
Princess Luna rolled onto her back and stretched her wings out, letting some of the tension loosen form her form as she remembered days long past. Good days. However, those days were not today. And after that “boring” string of meetings, things had gotten out of control
It had started with her dear, sweet, contemptible little nephew.
***
“Prince Blueblood,” the Princess said through gritted teeth. She wanted to use the Voice on him, oh how she did, but he was a blood relative (several generations removed, but still) and it would be most uncouth to use something so formal on a family member, even in such official business. “As much as we understand your...predicament, we simply cannot accept your request.”
The Prince raised an eyebrow. “What?!” he shouted. “Aunt Luna-”
“Princess Luna, if thou will.” she interrupted him, finally able to work her jaw normally. “We are still in Court, Blueblood, so please act appropriately.”
“Humph,” the Prince groaned. “Auntie Celestia does not speak to me as such. She rather prefers me to call her such names.”
No Luna, stop that. The Queen of Dark Skies said to herself. Your teeth don’t deserve this treatment. It’s unfair. He is the one who deserves your ire! Are you sure he is related to you?
“Dear Nephew,” Luna choked, “We understand that the School for Gifted Unicorns obstructs your view of your friend’s estate, but we, once again, can not-”
“Friend?!” Prince Blueblood spat the word. “I would never call Stark Pose a friend of mine.”
The Starlight Sorceress let her eye twitch erratically. “You, you have complained since you came in that it obstructs your view of his estate. You two speak to each other every night at dinner, constantly talking of events and laughing with one another!”
“A facade, Auntie Luna. So that I may earn his trust before I strike my plan into motion. But for this plan to work I must monitor his estate each night. So, how long do you think it will take to have it done?”
“...”
Morningstar and Equinox, sensing danger, stepped a half foot away from what they considered the “Death Zone”.
“GET OUT!” the Mare of the Moon shouted, her eyes focused on the now trembling unicorn.. “NEVER BEFORE HAVE I FELT SO ASHAMED OF OUR OWN BLOOD! GET THE HENCE FROM THIS COURTROOM IMMEDIATELY BEFORE I HAVE YOU TOSSED FROM THE TALLEST TOWER!”
Prince Blueblood shrank before the wrath of his aunt, before the force of her Voice lifted him from his position in front of the throne. The Day Guard behind him, quickly opened the doors, so as they would not be damaged, as the young Prince was sent flying out of the room, landing in the hallways quite comically on his rump.
As the doors closed behind him, and all the remaining attendants looked at him in confusion, The Prince's eyes narrowed as dark thoughts filled his mind.
“Alright, dear Aunt Luna,” he hissed. “If that is the game you want to play...”
***
Luna did not want to say it was her dear nephew who was responsible for what transpired after that.
At least ,not without photographic evidence to support her case.
But it was quite the coincidence that, after Bluebood had left, things had only gotten worse. For that was when the questions started.
***
“Where’s Celestia?!”
“What have you done with her, you monster!?”
“We know you’re hiding her away, we heard it from one of your own guards!”
“We’ll never bow to a lunatic like you.”
An entire riot of ponies now stood in the throne room, clamoring and demanding answers.
OK, Luna, her internal voice spoke to her. You knew this was coming. Just do what your sister would do...What would Celestia do? She thought about it for a moment, trying to ignore the insults and accusations being slung at her, as the guards tried to prevent more physical violence from breaking out. She would probably say something calming and soothing, something mother would have said, and then explain the entire situation. Yes, that’s what she would do.”
“BE STILL!” the Night Princess howled, reminding herself once more that she was not her sister.
The call of such powerful authority and strength (and the force of the wind probably had a hoof in it too) silenced the entire room, allowing her to speak.
“CELESTIA IS TIRED!” she called out. “SHE HAS BECOME WEARY THESE LAST THOUSAND YEARS DUE TO THE TROUBLES THAT PONIES SUCH AS THOU KEEP THROWING AT HER HOOVES! AND YET SHE INSISTED THAT THIS VACATION WAS OF NO NECESSITY, BECAUSE SHE LOVES THE LOT OF YOU!”
Everyone in the room looked to one another, wondering the same thing: could it be true? Was Celestia, their perfect princess...tired?
“BUT SHE NEEDS THIS WEEK! SHE WILL NEVER ADMIT IT, BUT THIS TIME OFF IS NECESSARY FOR HER MENTAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH! AND SELFLESSLY,” she lied, if only a little, “WE HAVE TAKEN THIS BURDEN FROM HER SHOULDERS AND PLACED IT ON OUR OWN! SO NO, WE HAVE NOT KIDNAPPED HER, YES SHE WILL RETURN SAFELY, AND THE DAY AND NIGHT CYCLE SHALL REMAIN AS IS AND HOW IT HAS BEEN FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS!” The Starlight Sorceress breathed heavily, gathering her words. “So...” she spoke normally now, letting everyone in the room recover, herself included, “...If thou all has no other pressing matters for me to address...”
Morningstar and Equinox ducked for cover under the throne.
“GET! OUT!”
With that below, the room was suddenly very empty.
***
Outside, in the castle gardens, chuckling to himself as he sat under the shade of a tree, was Prince Blueblood. “That should let Auntie and her skinny thighs know who is truly important around here.” he said, before taking another sip of his grape juice.
***
Of course, after that, no one else had come to court for the rest of the day. “Great job, Luna,” she berated herself, “Once again you have the entire kingdom against you.” she wallowed for a few moments, briefly wondering what a pony was suppose to wallow in. She decided to skip that line of thinking.
“No problem,” she groaned to herself. “Only six days remain of this...charge. With all of Canterlot hating you now, perhaps nopony shall even show up for Court!” she banged her head against the extra soft pillow it rested on, hoping that, maybe, she could give herself enough of a concussion to let her forget about this day.
“Celestia,” she called to her sister, rubbing her head with her hooves to relieve some of the tension. “Please return early. I...I don’t know if I can do this.”