//------------------------------// // Stumbling into Success // Story: Dumb Enough to Work // by Blarghalt //------------------------------// A hogtied Royal Guard pegasus was stuffed into a broom closest, his muffled cries silenced with the slam of the door. Chrysalis stood tall in front of the door, triumphant over the lone soldier they'd ambushed in a warehouse. "Mwahahaha! With this puny guard out of the way, I can go anywhere in Canterlot!" Green fire consumed her, replacing her lanky black figure with a perfect copy of the guard. One of the changelings she'd brought along for the scouting mission was more hesitant. "Uh. What about us? Who do we copy?" She rolled her eyes. "Just stay here and replace anybody that comes close. Meanwhile, I will be headed to Canterlot Castle. I can practically taste the love flowing out of there." Her changelings saluted, taking up positions in the empty warehouse. Confident her underlings would be able to at least control an empty building, she stepped outside under the pleasant shine of the midday sun. It had been a simple scouting mission. Her hive was running out love to feed on; they needed more. And so she decided to take the incredibly risky move of establishing a foothold in the capital of Equestria, right under Celestia's nose, where the love would be the strongest. What she hadn't expected was that overwhelming source of love she could sense coming from Canterlot Castle. Just what was going on in there? No time to waste. She had to get to the castle and figure out where that love was coming from. She took off into the air, headed towards the main gates. Once, there, she touched down, walking towards the main entrance to the palace. The guards let her approach the castle with no objections, but as she was just about to pass through, a voice called out from above her. "Mirror Helm!" Chrysalis kept moving, determined to keep a low profile. "Mirror Helm!" She couldn't ignore it. That yelling was directed at her. She glanced upward to see a white unicorn on the ramparts, wearing ornate armor. Looked like he was important. Chrysalis scrambled into a hasty salute. "Yes, sir!" The captain of the guard scowled as he gave the queen a dressing-down. "Where have you been? You were supposed to be at your post fifteen minutes ago!" "I—" Time to lie. "I thought I saw a suspicious-looking pony near one of the warehouses, sir! Had to chase him!" Shining Armor squinted at the disguised Chrysalis. He seemed just on the verge of exploding before he relaxed a bit, his intense stare softening into an annoyed one. "You are really lucky I'm in such a good mood. Get to your post at Cadence’s room." Chrysalis gawped, amazed her dishonesty had worked. It was then she realized something off about this high-ranking guard. That powerful loved she'd sensed? It was coming from him. Or at least, most of it was. Why would a guard— "Now!" She shot up into the air, scrambling past the gates. Chrysalis walked down the ornate halls of Canterlot castle, completely lost. Who was Cadence, and why did she need a guard? She didn't dare ask a guard for directions; that'd immediately bring scrutiny on her. As she rounded another corner, trying to find out how to navigate the labyrinth of towers, she nearly bumped into Princess Celestia, also rounding the corner. "Oh!" Celestia exclaimed in a surprised voice. "My apologies." Chrysalis froze. The sun princess herself. Chrysalis was usually pretty good about fighting her way out of a situation when her disguises failed, but even she knew she was no match for the immortal Celestia. Still, their meeting provided an opportunity. She degraded herself to the persona of a new guard. "Um, excuse me," she began, "I just joined the Royal Guard." Celestia smiled. "Oh, wonderful. I hope you're enjoying it so far." "Yes ma'am! But, I'm still trying to figure out this castle." "Yes, it is quite the maze. Do you need directions?" "Do you know where Cadence’s room is?" Celestia nodded, pointing to the far end of the hall. "Just down the hall, two lefts, can't miss it." "Thank you!" declared Chrysalis, running off. With the princess' directions, the queen easily found the room, one guard standing outside and glaring at Chrysalis as she approached. "You're late." "I know!" He didn't push the issue farther. The guard saluted, then left as Chrysalis took his place. She took her position to the left of the door, doing her best stoic soldier impersonation while trying to figure out how to best use her new disguise. After an hour of standing guard, she heard movement in the bride's room, and the door opened. A unicorn poked her head out, looking to the guard. "Pssst! Mirror Helm! Could you come in here for a moment?" Chrysalis figured this was probably against the rules, but relented nonetheless. She followed the pony inside, into a room filled with mannequins and dresses. When inside, the queen realized this was no mere unicorn, it was an alicorn. So this was Cadence? The princess paced around the room. "I need your expert opinion on something, Mirror." The pony lifted something with her magic from the shelf; two crows of flower, one of red roses and the other of blue and white daisies. "What do you think? Red flowers, or the blue/white combo?" Unfortunately, fashion advice was not a skill she'd picked up in her long line of impersonating the poor souls she'd replaced. "Uh—-" "Yes, I love the red roses too, but it might be too bold, you know? The blue and white seem like the safe bet, but then again this is my wedding..." "What?" Cadence chuckled. "Oh, Mirror Helm, I needed that laugh. 'What'? Like we haven't known each other since high school." The alicorn continued to prattle on about the fine details of color theory, and how everything had to be perfect. Chrysalis was barely paying attention; more set on how she'd get back to that guard captain and feast on his love. "So we're agreeing on the blue and white, right?" Cadence asked. Chrysalis snapped to attention. "Oh! R-Right! Blue and white! Very in-season!" She playfully punched Chrysalis. "Knew I could count on you. But you'd probably better get back to your post. Don't want my fiancé yel—" In mid-walk, she tripped. With a cry she fell forward, legs running out from under her to restore balance. She kept going, hobbling to the other side of the room. Finally losing balance, she fell towards a clothes drawer, smashing her head on the side and falling on her sides. She feebly lifted her head up in one last grasp of consciousness, then fell limp. Chrysalis walked over to the helpless alicorn, the pieces of the puzzle finally sliding into place. The immense love in the castle, that guard captain practically oozing it, this pony in a bride's dress... It hit her. That guard captain wasn't just a soldier, he was the groom! And this pony was his bride-to-be! And the fates had aligned and then knocked her over the head! Chrysalis began to cackle maniacally as the first seeds of a plan began to form. She'd impersonate this pony, and take that guard's love as her own! She would become all-powerful! Her hive would feast forever! Her laughter was cut short when Cadence began to stir from her daze. Thinking fast, she ran over to the princess, dragging her by her hind legs to the middle of the room. First thing was first; she rubbed in hooves together, then vanished in a green flash as she transformed into a copy of Cadence. The real Cadence, still out of it from the injury, looked up to her imposter with droopy eyes. "W-what?" Chrysalis fell back into an all-too familiar role. "Poor pony princess," she cooed, "so easily defeated." Cadence shook herself out of her stupor, challenging the changeling queen with an angry snarl. "Who are you?! What did you do with Mirror Helm?" The false Cadence's eyes glowed with green fire, surrounding the real pony in a circle of flames. It coalesced into a dome of energy, enveloping Cadence as she slowly began to sink into the ground. "Why, there was never any Mirror Helm!” “Wh...what?” “As a changeling, I’ve been playing the part of your weak pony guard friend for years! Decades! And now my time has come! And as queen, I will use your husband's love to take over all of Equestria!" "You…” she blurted woozily, “You’ll—You’ll never get away with this!” "I already have. Goodbye, my little pony." She sunk lower and lower, before finally disappearing into the floor, banished to the underground of Canterlot. After she was gone, Chrysalis realized something and voiced her mistake aloud. "I shouldn't have told her any of that.” Just then, a loud knocking came at the door. A familiar, concerned voice shouted on the other side. "Cadence! Are you okay? I heard shouting!" Chrysalis turned around just in time to see Shining Armor kicking the door open, his chest puffed up and horn ready to slay any foe. Instead he only saw his lovely bride, looking at him with very confused eyes. He sighed with relief, and relaxed. "Cadence. Don't scare me like that." Looking back to the door, he frowned. "And why isn't Mirror Helm at his post? When I get my hooves on him..." "Oh! I screamed because I saw a rat. Huge one. Size of a dog. Mirror Helm went to go chase it." He wasn't assured. "That's no excuse to abandon his post! He should have called for backup!" The unicorn's demeanor softened, and he walked over to his fake wife with a smile. "I'm just...worried, you know? I want to make sure this wedding is perfect." He kissed her on the forehead. Chrysalis would have recoiled in disgust, if it wasn't for the surge of power she felt course through her. His love was so strong! All she had to do was call for reinforcements, and Canterlot would be hers in no time! When Shining Armor pulled away, his eyes shimmered with optimism. "You ready?" "For what?" "My big surprise! I told you I figured out a cool way to protect Canterlot. I'm going to be putting up a protective spell around the whole city!" "Protective spell?" He chuckled. "Oh, just your standard evil-repelling barrier. Work stuff, probably really boring to you. Keeps out ponies with evil intent, malicious spirits, eldritch entities, changelings, bugbears..." "Changelings." "Yeah, one of the guards suggested I throw them into the spell, just to cover our bases. Can't be too careful, huh?" Chrysalis gave a toothy smile. "R-right! So when you are putting up this barrier?" Shining Armor laughed. "That's the best part! Right now!" He walked to the balcony, pushing the doors open to the cloudless sky. He looked back to Chrysalis, brimming with confidence. "Watch this." His horn erupted with a purple aura. He floated off the ground, gritting his teeth. Beads of sweat rolled down his head as the aura grew. Chrysalis' jaw hit the floor as a massive, purple barrier began to build its way around the city, slowly enveloping it in a gigantic bubble. She ran over to the balcony, searching for the warehouse. Catching sight of it, she also noticed a small swarm of pegasi flying out from it, making a break outside the bubble. Her drones were fleeing, the cowards! She almost chased after them to punish their betrayal, but remembered the rare role she found herself in. She could only watch with resignation as the bubble slowly rose around Canterlot, finally sealing itself high above the peaks of its white-gold towers. That was it, then. She was trapped. Shining Armor floated down, his breaths deep and heavy. "Whew. That was a marathon." When his breaths evened out, he put a leg around Chrysalis. "So, what do you think?" Chrysalis stared wide-eyed with fear at her new prison. "It's! Great!" Shining Armor turned to her with raised eyebrows. "Great enough for a kiss?" He didn't wait for an answer, closing his eyes and puckering his lips. In all her years, she'd never required intimacy from her victims. She wasn't going to start now. But she had to do something, and when the stallion's mouth was almost upon hers, instinct kicked in. She bit him, teeth clenching down on his nose. He hollered with pain, falling back on his rump, rubbing his now-red snoot. Instead of rising up to demand why she'd clamped down, Shining Armor just laughed it off. "Wow! Save it for after the wedding, huh?" Chrysalis' guts wrenched at his response, and she slowly backed away. "I-" she stammered, looking for any excuse to get away from him, "I have to...princess. Be right back!" She turned tail and ran, hoping that at least some of her changelings were still loyal. She had to blow through six different disguises, but she finally had made her way to the edge of the barrier at Canterlot; a secluded part of the mountain that was flat enough to stand on. A few of her changelings hovered on the other side, awaiting her orders. "I can't believe you idiots just abandoned me!" she ranted. "I'm stuck in here now! You all just took off like chickens!" Thorax had drawn the short straw, and was the one chosen to speak for the rest of her minions. "Sorry..." "If this barrier wasn't in the way, I'd—" She stopped herself, taking a deep breath. "I’ll deal with your cowardice later. Look. I've stumbled onto something huge. The most love I've ever seen in a pony. If I can feed on it, and get the barrier down, we'll never go hungry again!" Thorax remained sheepish. "Really?" "Really! But if we're going to pull this off, I need this barrier down! I need you to go back to the hive, and get everyone back here!" "Everyone. Everyone? My queen, even if I left right now it'd still be several days before your swarm would get here!" "Then go now! And you better be quick about it!" Thorax and the others gave a fearful bow, then took off into distance as fast as their wings could carry them. As they retreated from sight, Chrysalis sunk low to the ground. "Chrysalis, what have you done now?" It was easy enough to make it back to the castle; sneaking past the guards and navigating her way back to the bride's room. She slammed the door behind her, back against the frame. "Okay, I just need to figure how to get to that unicorn. Not so hard." A flurry of bangs hit the door, followed by the voices of three mares. "Ca-dence! Let us in!" Oh no. The door flung open, launching Chrysalis across the room. She just narrowly avoid the same face Cadence did, landing just short of the clothes drawer. Quickly picking herself up, she put on her best blushing bride act as Lyra, Twinkleshine, and Minuette hustled into the room, wearing disgustingly frilly bridesmaids’ dresses. "Cadence!" they all said together. "What do you think of these dresses?" She resisted the urge to throw them all off the balcony. "They're...great!" Lyra wasn't so convinced, spinning around while checking her dress. "I don't know, do you think it makes my flank look too big? Bon Bon says ponies think I have a weird body because of the way I sit, but what does she know?" "Oh, don't talk like that," Twinkleshine playfully scolded, "it looks great on you! I love how it brings out your eyes!" Lyra blushed. "Go on! I love that shade of purple!" Minuette joined in. "I love your necklace!" "Your hair—" "That brooch" "Your flowers—" "Gonna get myself a stallion—" "Blahblahblahdressesblahblahcakeblahblahmatrimonyblahblaholdmare" The three mares' circle of compliments seemed to just devolve into several key words. Chrysalis tuned their prattle out as best she could. “How am I going to get to that love-soaked unicorn?” she thought to herself. "So?" they all asked. Chrysalis shook her head, realizing the question was at her. "Er, what?" Lyra winked. "Who are you, you know, gonna give the bouquet to? Hint hint." "Bouquet?" All three of them stared at her, dumbfounded. Minuette then slowly stepped forward, one eyebrow raised. "Wait a minute. Something's not right." Chrysalis stepped back. "Oh, you know, just tired. Not feeling myself." "I'll say!" Lyra declared, pointing at her. "You're not the real Cadence! The real Cadence would have good enough taste to go for a red flower crown!" Chrysalis moved away from the bridesmaids as they advanced towards her. "Imposter!" accused Lyra. "Deceiver!" shouted Minuette. Twinkleshine said nothing, just pointing at her with an open mouth, making a scream Chrysalis  didn't know ponies could make. Chrysalis panicked; these three mares were gonna blow her whole, totally thought-out plan! In reflex she threw out the first spell she could think of, a green beam erupting from her horn and striking her tormenters. It drilled into the foreheads of all three of the ponies, stopping them in their tracks as their eyes turned a sickly shade of green. They stood there, awaiting orders. Chrysalis couldn't believe that worked! She jumped into the air with toothy grin. "Yes! Who says mind control is hard?" Now with three mares under her control, she had to decide what to do with them. She couldn't just keep them around, their hypnotized state was rather painfully obvious. She needed to put them some place where no pony would look. Some place like... It came to her. "Slaves!" she boomed, "You are to go to the underground caves, and prevent that despicable Cadence from ever leaving!" They stood there, unmoving. "Was I not clear? Go to the caves!" "What's in it for us?" they answered in monotone unison. Chrysalis felt the blood rush to her face. "How—how dare you talk back to your master! You are under my control, and you will obey!" Her thralls said nothing. "Fine! If you do this, I will make sure whoever works the hardest gets this, what did you call it, bouquet?" "Cool," they all droned. They remained still, staring at their puppetmaster. Chrysalis scowled. "What are you waiting for? Go!" "We don't know where the caves are." She covered the bridge of her nose with one hoof. "For the love of—whatever! I'll just give you the shortcut!" The changeling queen summoned the ring of green fire around the bridesmaids, and they sunk into the floor in a green orb like Cadence had. The pests were gone. Chrysalis now had much-needed solitude to plan her next move. As she wondered on how to most efficiently get to Shining Armor's love, an idea struck her. If she could control those mares, what was stopping her from taking over Shining Armor? And with him enslaved, she could bring down that barrier! She delighted in the devilish scheme, rubbing her hooves together in sinister motion. All she had to do was find him. She bounded out of the bride's room, asking anypony she came across if they had seen her so-called fiancé. It hadn't been hard to locate Shining Armor; she'd been fortunate enough that the first guard she asked had just seen him. According to him, the groom had suddenly felt ill, and went to go lie down elsewhere. Again navigating the maddening twists of the royal palace, she finally found the room described to her. As she approached the door, she could hear grumbling on the other side. She cautiously pushed the door open, revealing Shining Armor lying on couch, clutching his head. He didn't notice Chrysalis walk in, and only turned to her once she called out his name. Despite his state, he managed a smile. "Honey! What are you doing here?" "I heard you weren't feeling well." The groom brushed it off with wave of his hoof. "It's nothing, really. I'm totally fine. Spell just took a bit more out of me than I thought. I'm—Gah!" He winced, and rubbed his head. Chrysalis made sure the door was closed, and approached her victim. "That so? I just might know a spell for that." "Really?" Her lips spread into an evil smirk. "Sure. Just hold still, honey. " With a burst of light, she beamed her control spell into the mind of Shining Armor. His tongue rolled out of his mouth, his eyes going cross and rolling in his head as the spell did its work. He tried to form words, but was only able to mutter nonsense as the beam drilled further into his mind. When the green haze appeared in his eyes, Chrysalis stopped the spell, letting him recover and stand up from the couch. But she hadn't counted on his green eyes fading back to blue, and the vacant stare of a thrall disappearing. He blinked a few times, then beamed. "Wow!" he exclaimed, "that really did the trick!" What. He ran up to Chrysalis, bringing her into a tight hug. "Thanks, Cadence!" What was happening? He lingered on the hug for a while before finally letting go. He walked over to the couch, putting on his captain's helmet. "I'd love to stay, but I really have to get back to it." He got close, and winked. "And don't think I've forgotten about your little love bite. I didn't know you were that kind of girl." Chrysalis screamed internally. He went out the door, closing it behind him and leaving Chrysalis alone. When his hoofsteps had faded into the distance, the changeling reverted back to her normal form. She brought her hooves on her shoulders, holding herself as she shuddered. "Ugggggggghhhhh," was her first comment on her situation. After shaking off the creeps, she wondered aloud. "Okay, mind control cures headaches apparently. Good. We're learning new things. But why didn't it shackle his mind?" It must have been his willpower. Those mares had soft minds, so very pliable, but Shining Armor's was almost certainly made out of tougher stuff as his position required. She'd have to do the spell more than once. Chisel him down. And not spam the spells too close together, lest she ruin his brain and put him into a coma, letting all that love go to waste. She groaned. This long con really was going to be long.