//------------------------------//
// Chapter 5 
// Story: Glimpses of Regret 
// by SC_Orion 
//------------------------------//

Rainbow couldn't help but wilt back as Applejack finished reading Princess Celestia's letter and looked at her. Sure, her scowl was gone, but in its place lingered a stern gaze that told her 'Ya better not mess this one up, Rainbow Dash.' She fidgeted her weight and tried to press herself back into the couch, hoping beyond all reason that the couch could envelop her and hide her entire body from sight. But despite her hopes, reason prevailed, and while she did sink into the couch, it did nothing more than make it harder for her to move, preventing her from evading them any further.

Jumping to her hooves without spilling her tea, Rarity cried out, "This is wonderful news!" As all eyes fell on her, a soft blush covered her muzzle. She covered her mouth and coughed once in embarrassment. "What? I'm just saying that this is good! Twilight and Cadance will be here-" her eyes fell on Rainbow, and her expression cooled a few degrees "- so you can fix this."

Applejack gave the unicorn a sideways look. "Rarity..." she warned.

Rarity slumped down and sighed. "Yes, yes, I know darling..." She gave Applejack a weak smile, then looked at Rainbow. Her smile wavered as the pegasus's body shook in fear. "Rainbow, dear-" she slowly walked over to the couch, forcing a weak smile, "-I'm sorry. Can you... forgive me for my... erm-" she covered her mouth with her hoof again and forced an embarrassed cough, "-rather... uncivilized reaction?" she asked sweetly.

Rainbow looked to the right and down at the couch, avoiding Rarity's gaze. "Yeah, it's fine..." she said quietly. "I did... screw this up..."

Applejack and Rarity shared a worried look, then Rarity nibbled on her lip before sitting down to the left of Rainbow. "Rainbow, I truly am sorry for how I acted. I did... overreact-"

Rainbow shook her head vigorously. "N-no, y-you didn't," she retorted. "I-"

"Rainbow," Applejack said flatly. Rainbow slowly picked her head up to look over at her. "Yeah, you messed this up. I know you didn't mean to, but you did. We all know you didn't mean to. You should have gone and talked to Twilight instead of coming back to Ponyville. But you're not gonna skip out on talking to Twilight this time, you hear? You're going to go meet Twilight and Cadance when they get here, and then you're going to apologize to Twilight for-"

Rainbow's eyes immediately fell to the floor in shame, and her ears folded back. "Cheating on her?"

A moment passed in silence. "-hurting her," Applejack finished. "Look, I can tell this is eating you up, Rainbow. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be all over you like Rarity was... As it is, I'm aggravated that you did this. But you really need to get a hold of yourself."

Rarity lifted a forehoof and gently touched it to Rainbow's shoulder, drawing an immediate squeak from the pegasus, who then shied away from her hoof in an action more akin to how Fluttershy would react. For a few seconds, Rarity watched the trembling pegasus, then she lowered her hoof back to the couch. "Rainbow, you still love Twilight," she stated.

For a few seconds, there was no reaction from Rainbow, but then she sniffled. Her head jerked slightly, and she weakly turned her muzzle just enough that she could look at Rarity. And despite her best efforts to hide them, Rarity could see her tears. "Y-yes," she whimpered. "B-but I-I cheated on her!"

"Oh... Rainbow, dear..." Rarity cooed. She turned her body slightly, then wrapped her forelegs around the pegasus' body, pulling her into a hug.

Rainbow didn't fight back as Rarity hugged her, but her ears stayed folded back in shame. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve her friends' forgiveness, let alone Twilight's forgiveness. Yet while the girls were still upset, they were trying to not make things any worse. They seemed to think she was being hard enough on herself as it was. 'How can you...' she wondered. The thought left her feeling destitute- Rarity had been angry at her not even three hours ago, and already she was hugging her again, and yet she couldn't bring herself to try to see Twilight in the days that she had spent in Canterlot before returning to Ponyville.

Slowly, Applejack rose from her chair, then approached Rainbow and Rarity. Rainbow shivered as she looked up and watched Applejack approach. Applejack had a solemn expression, sharing in Rainbow's grief, but it didn't stop her from joining the hug.

Their shared hug lasted for minutes as Rainbow cried and shook in their embrace, but eventually, her shuddering calmed to sniffles when she inhaled. After what felt like an eternity, Rainbow pulled away from them. For several more seconds, Applejack and Rarity lingered in the hug, refusing to let Rainbow go, before finally releasing her. As much as she didn't want to admit it, the hug helped her feel a little better, even though she didn't deserve it, but she still couldn't look them in the eyes. "I-I'm sorry g-guys..."

"Rainbow?" Applejack drawled.

For several seconds, Rainbow refused to look up at her, but when it became obvious that Applejack wasn't going to continue until she looked up at her, she reluctantly gave in and lifted her muzzle up. "Y-yeah?" she stuttered.

"Just promise me that you'll try to make this right, alright?" Applejack asked. She gave Rainbow a small smile, but it wasn't quite as happy as it should have been. Rainbow averted her gaze from her and stared down at the floor. "We already promised we'd try to help you and Twilight through this... uh, assuming that Twilight actually wants to get back together with you after all this."

Rainbow's whole body tensed up and she screwed her eyes shut as Applejack brought her worst fears to the forefront of her mind. "W-what if sh-she doesn't?" she squeaked. Her whole body trembled, and several teardrops fell out of her eyes onto the couch. She shied back even further, expecting both of her friends to chastise her. To her surprise, Rarity didn't say anything about it.

"Rainbow," Rarity sighed warily, "as much as I hate to admit it, that's entirely up to Twilight. You did cheat on her, and according to you, she was there and saw you. And you were drunk. Twilight has every right to be angry at you and want nothing to do with you," she said pointedly.

More tears fell from Rainbow's eyes. She whimpered in pain. "I-I know..." she sobbed weakly.

For a few seconds, only the sounds of Rainbow's cries filled the air of Rarity's boutique. "I-I don't... ant... light... hate me..." Rainbow croaked out. "I'm s-sorry! I... I w-was st-stu-stupid..."

"Rainbow, we'll do our best to help you. We promised that. There's no guarantee it'll work, but you have to get a hold of yourself. Don't chicken out. You need to apologize to Twilight," Applejack said.

Eventually, Rainbow nodded her head hastily. "O-okay..." she stuttered.

"I don't want our group of friends to be torn apart by this," Rarity sighed.

Applejack grimaced and looked at Rarity. "I don't rightly think it'd be torn apart by this. Sure, Twilight might be angry at Rainbow, and... uh, maybe we wouldn't be able to fix it... but, I think she'd still be willing to be friends with Rainbow..."

Rainbow let out a high-pitched whimper and sank further into the couch. Both Rarity and Applejack looked at Rainbow, and like her, their ears folded back. Rarity nibbled on her lip. She kept trying to say something to comfort her, but every time she opened her mouth, nothing came out.

"Hey, Rarity? Maybe you should go and get Fluttershy and Pinkie," Applejack suggested.

Rarity nodded slowly in agreement. "Perhaps," she admitted. "At the very least we need to tell them, and Spike, that Twilight and Cadance are coming." After a second, she nodded to herself. "I shouldn't be too long." She hopped off the couch and turned to leave, but hesitated a moment as Rainbow whimpered again. Her ears pinned back and she let out a soft sigh as she turned back around to face the pegasus. She wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow's back and gave her a squeeze. "Rainbow Dash, I'm sure it will be okay... if Twilight didn't want to talk to you I'm sure that she'd just stay in Canterlot..." she offered hopefully.

Rainbow just shook her head and squirmed in an attempt to escape the hug. "W-what if s-she just wants to... t-tell me that it-it-it's o... over..." she whispered. "Th-th-that w-we're... th-through..." Punctuating the last word was a sharp whimper and a pained, choking sob.

Rarity squeezed her tighter, and once again, Applejack joined in. "That is a distinct possibility, Rainbow Dash," Rarity said in a low, cautious tone, "but if that is the case, then... if you love her, you need to respect her decision." To Rainbow, something about the way Rarity said it spoke of finality, and despite herself, she gripped Rarity with her forelegs and squeezed her desperately as she whimpered again. "Maybe just give her time," she offered, "Twilight's... not really a pony to hold grudges," she said delicately.

Rainbow sniffled. "I-I hope you're r-right... T-Twi's... s-she's... it-it's Twilight... sh-she's worth more th-than anything t-to me..." she weakly whispered.




Cadance nibbled on her lip. When she had suggested going to Ponyville so that Twilight could talk to Rainbow, she wasn't sure what she had expected the trip to be like, but she certainly hadn't expected Twilight to stare out of the window the entire time, nor had she expected it to be so quiet, excluding the click-clack of the train's wheels on the tracks. They hadn't even been halfway there when she had started questioning her decision to keep one of the train cars to themselves. Other ponies probably wouldn't have paid them much attention, and if they did, they probably wouldn't even be able to tell anything was wrong.

At the very least, it wouldn't have been so quiet, and she would have felt better. But then again, the privacy was probably for the best. She knew Twilight wouldn't have been happy if there were other ponies around; it would've made things harder on her, she wouldn't have been able to cry in peace if she wanted to.

Cadance sighed and lowered her head. Even with her sitting at Twilight's immediate left, she avoided her and continued to stare out of the window passively. The only sign that she had improved over how she had been was that in the window's reflection, Cadance could see Twilight's eyes which proved that they weren't glossed over. Occasionally, her eyes even jumped around to take in the scenery. But, nonetheless, her ears were folded back halfway, and she stayed silent.

Cadance slowly lifted her head back up and turned to face Twilight for what must have been the hundredth time. She opened her mouth, but stopped when she realized she didn't know what to say. For a few seconds, her mouth lingered open, then she closed it. She sighed silently on the inside. Under normal circumstances, she could brighten almost any atmosphere and cheer ponies up. After all, she was the Princess of Love. But this? The pain Twilight experienced was infectious, and so unlike normal, she couldn't project her usual optimistic happiness.

It didn't help that her mind kept wandering back to the thought of 'What if Shining did something like that?' The thought was distracting, and while she knew he wouldn't, it still ate at her mind like a disease, worrying her. After all, there was no way Rainbow would have cheated on Twilight, and yet she did.

She closed her eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath. For several seconds, she held the breath in and listened to the rhythmic clacking of the train's wheels. Eventually, she let out the breath, opened her eyes, and lifted her head back up, letting her worries go. But, unlike her, Twilight continued to stare out of the window, mind going over her worries again and again.

She could tell what Twilight was thinking about. She couldn't imagine what it had been like, but she was certain that what she saw was still playing through her mind. She bit her lip and looked over Twilight's back, then extended her wing. She reached her wing behind Twilight's back to hug her. As her feathers brushed against her coat, Twilight's muzzle fell a few inches as she tilted her head down, and she glanced back at her.

Twilight regarded Cadance unsurely. The look in her eyes spoke of a battle raging in her mind, but eventually, she turned her head away from the window her as Cadance pulled her close. She looked at the seat across from them, and her jaw clenched and relaxed repeatedly as if a question was eating at her mind.

Cadance slowly brushed her wing down Twilight's back, attempting to comfort the distraught alicorn. Eventually, Twilight took a deep breath. "What if she doesn't... want to be with me now?" she asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Cadance's wing paused mid-stroke, the question not being one she expected from her. Cadance's first thought was to immediately retort her since she was absolutely certain that wasn't the case. But rather than blurt it out, she took a moment to compose herself. "Twilight, I'm sure that she still wants to be with you. If what Celestia and Luna said is true, then the reason she didn't visit you was that she loves you so much she can't bear to see you hurting because of what she did," she said gently. She resumed brushing her wing down Twilight's back, then lifted it up to her withers and hugged her close. Twilight didn't resist her hug, but she wasn't comforted by it either.

"Should I have sex with her?" Twilight asked quietly. She turned to face Cadance and looked up at her. "Would that... make her feel... better?"

Cadance was silent. Any other time, Twilight wouldn't have asked that question. She would have acted like a little filly, blushing and too embarrassed to speak about such a thing. It was a topic that embarrassed her so much, yet she asked it so casually, so genuinely, that Cadance was taken aback by it. There was no hesitation in her question, and the way she looked, it was like she didn't even know she had asked it, or she didn't realize it, because her mind was otherwise occupied. Cadance sighed softly, then shook her head. "I don't think that would help any, Twilight... I think it would be the wrong thing to do, especially right now. Besides, you wanted to wait until-"

Twilight's eyes darted down to Cadance's shoulder. "But if I hadn't-"

"Twilight," Cadance said softly. "It's not your fault," she stated. "Don't blame yourself. Stop blaming yourself."

Twilight slowly nodded and turned away from her. Her muzzle lowered and her gaze dropped to the floor.

Even the clicking of the train's wheels didn't alleviate the heavy silence filling the car.

Cadance studied Twilight's crestfallen appearance as she debated what to say next. "Have you... thought about what you're going to say to her?"

"If... she really is scared that I'm... angry at her, then... I'll tell her that I'm not," Twilight answered quietly. "And... I want to ask her why she-"

"I don't think asking that would be wise, Twilight..." Cadance said hesitantly. "It... it's something that you need to talk about, and you should, but... maybe... give her, and yourself, some more time so that it's not so... recent. I'm sorry that I'm not very helpful, but I don't really have experience with this, which... maybe that's ironic, but..." she trailed off, smiling weakly.

Twilight smiled a little, but then it faded. "I... should ask her if she still wants to get married... but I think we should... put it off for a while..." she whispered. Cadance nodded calmly, though the idea weighed heavily on her. Twilight hesitantly looked at Cadance. "Do you know... how much longer until we get there?"

"It will be a few hours... We should arrive this evening," Cadance answered.

Twilight nodded slowly and turned back away from her. "Is... is Rainbow going to be there?"

"I don't know... I think she would want to be there when we get there, but... she might be scared."

Twilight's ears pinned back. "I... I-I hope she's there..."




By the time the train came to a stop, the sun was low in the sky, painting the sky golden with its rays. There were but a few hours of daylight remaining, but fortunately, Twilight had someplace to stay, and Cadance would stay with her. Not just because it was convenient, either. She could keep an eye on Twilight this way, and help her if it proved necessary.

Cadance took a deep breath, then stood from her seat and stepped out into the aisle. She turned back around expecting to see Twilight standing right beside her, but instead, she was still sitting in the same spot as before, eye glazed over as she stared out the window. From where she looked out, she couldn't see the platform, but that didn't stop her from looking paralyzed by fear.

For a few seconds, Cadance waited patiently, but it was as if Twilight were a statue. Her body barely moved as she breathed as if she was afraid that her breathing would cause disaster. Cadance let out a quiet sigh, and her wings fell a few inches before she caught them. She turned to face Twilight and glanced out the window opposite them to survey the platform. For the most part, it was deserted, but she could make out the forms of Twilight's friends. Rainbow's mane stuck out from the rest of them, and she felt a sense of relief at that. But even while she was still in the train car, in that brief glance, she could see the anxiety and fear written across her features, almost projected out for the whole world to see.

It wouldn't have surprised her if she bolted at the first sight of either one of them. It also wouldn't have surprised her if Applejack literally had her on a leash, or at least had a lasso on hoof, just in case that happened.

She looked back at her sister-in-law. "Twilight," she called softly. From the reflection in the window, she could see her blink. Another second passed and Twilight's chest finally inflated. Her head slowly, almost mechanically, turned to face her. She looked like she'd rather stay put. "Rainbow's waiting for you," she offered softly.

The corner's of Twilight's mouth twitched up at that, and a little energy flowed into her expression, making her back perk up from slouching. Her ears twitched and relaxed, slowly lifting back up until they were normal. She could practically hear Twilight's heart beating harder, and she could see the quickening of her pulse in her neck.

Twilight licked her lips and blinked a few times. Sparing a passing glance at the floor, she leaned forward, then stood up from her seat. She made her way out beside Cadance, then stopped as she looked out the window and saw that familiar rainbow mane.

For far longer than Cadance liked, Twilight stared out the window at Rainbow, a mixture of joy, eagerness, fear, and an uncertain, emotionless passivity all coming together as she watched on.

Cadance extended her wing and brushed it over Twilight's back, breaking her trance. Twilight looked up at her, then stepped forward, taking the lead. She walked with a purposeful stride towards the exit, leaving Cadance behind her to follow, never once giving her the chance to catch up nor take the lead.

She wasn't sure what to think of it but thought it was better than her simply staring out the window, pinning for her mate.

Almost in a rush, Twilight stepped out of the doors and hopped onto the platform. Her hooves clicked one at a time in rapid succession as she landed and stopped. By the time Cadance could see the scene transpiring, Twilight was looking in Rainbow's direction, and Rainbow was looking back, on the verge of a panic attack, perhaps on the verge of breaking down or bolting. The rest of her friends stood there, unsure of what to do or say. The entire event left them without a clue as to the best way to proceed. They simply weren't prepared for it. But then, what could really prepare somepony for this?

The pegasus started to tremble. Twilight took a breath and went to say something, but nothing came out. After several seconds, she stopped her attempts to speak.

Cadance disembarked and stood beside her. Twilight glanced over at her, then her gaze settled back on Rainbow.

"Well, I uh... I guess you two probably want some uh... privacy?" Applejack finally asked, breaking the silence that had descended.

Cadance nodded and opened her mouth to respond, but Twilight preempted her- "Library."

It was enough to make Rainbow wince and close her eyes, and Twilight's reaction was immediate- her ears folded back, and her legs trembled, nearly as much as Rainbow's legs.

"Is... there anything we can get you? Or... anything we can do?" Rarity offered, glancing between Rainbow, Twilight, and Cadance. Rainbow hastily shook her head, while Twilight slowly shook hers.

Cadance grimaced as the seconds wore on. If her magic was better, she would have simply teleported their group to the library, but sadly, she didn't have that capability, which left the worst possible choice: walking back to the library. And oh, how horrible that walk would be for everypony involved. "I would teleport us there, but I don't have Twilight's magic," she related regretfully.

"Right... we... we should... go," Twilight eventually drawled. Despite saying so, she made no effort to move.

"Do... you want us to come with you?" Fluttershy offered.

Twilight shook her head slowly, uncertainly. "No... I just..." she trailed off, her eyes darting back and forth as a war raged inside her mind over the question. Eventually, she sighed softly. "I'm sorry... no," she said.

Fluttershy nodded in understanding, although she bit her lip and watched Rainbow.

"What about me?" Spike asked quietly.

Twilight's lips pulled up into a brief, warm smile. "O-of course you're coming, Spike," she said. "Y-you live with... u... us..." The smile, along with her whole expression, seemed to crack. Rainbow seemed to crack too, immediately looking at the only unoccupied spot she could see: the floor right in front of her hooves. And even that wasn't enough for her: she clenched her eyes shut and pinned her ears back against her head. She stayed silent, but tears still came. "A-after all..." Twilight finished.

Spike nodded silently, then glanced at the rest of the girls and slowly stepped away from them, then scurried over beside Twilight. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but Twilight only looked down at her hooves.

Seeing Twilight and Rainbow's broken state, Cadance knew that she had to take charge. Neither of them were in any condition to make the first move, which put the entire burden on her. But still, it was a burden she would bear for them. She took a deep breath and did her absolute best to mimic Celestia's kind, warm smile. It wasn't quite the same, but she felt it was close enough. "Twilight? Rainbow... why don't we go ahead and head to the Library?" she suggested.

Twilight nodded emotionlessly and turned to make the long walk to her home. Cadance let Twilight walk in front of her, then she stepped forward and approached Rainbow. The mare continued to face the ground with her eyes clenched. Cadance extended a wing and gently brushed a feather against her shoulder, which drew an immediate, fearful squeak from the pegasus, causing her to crouch back as if struck.

Twilight stopped at the sound and looked back at her. For a brief moment, they watched each other. Twilight turned back to face her; Rainbow turned away in shame. Regaining some semblance of courage, Rainbow stood back up, then lifted a forehoof and took a shaky step forward. It took an almost insurmountable effort, but finally, she forced herself forward. Cadance stood beside her and laid a wing over her back.

The wing comforted her, but at the same time, it hurt of so much. Alicorn wings were so distinctly different from pegasus wings, and even if Cadance was larger than Twilight, her wing felt just like her's, only larger. She cried more and hid her face from Twilight as best she could.

Twilight had to look away. Rainbow's pain was simply too infectious. In the end, to comfort Twilight and coax her to continue, Cadance laid her left wing over Twilight. She walked between the two of them with her wings sheltering both of them and keeping them close, offering them what comfort and support she could as she chaperoned them back to the library.

The walk back to the library took longer than Cadance wanted, and with it still being early in the evening, they weren't alone on the streets. Whenever the walked by and ponies noticed, they slowed down and watched on with a mixture of curiosity and concern. Even as they passed, the ponies' heads and gazes lingered for several seconds before they returned to their tasks.

Cadance could read emotions well, but she couldn't read minds. She had no idea what the ponies were thinking. They were concerned about seeing the three of them in such a state, but she could only guess what ran through their minds. Perhaps they thought that they had just had a bad trip to Canterlot, but most assuredly, their thoughts were far from the truth. She saw no hints of anger or betrayal directed at the pegasus she sheltered under her wing, and she knew that Celestia and Luna were keeping silent on the matter.

As far as Equestria knew, nothing was wrong between them. Everything was okay, and the wedding would still happen in just a few short weeks. Perhaps they even thought that maybe Twilight and Rainbow looked the way they did because of stress from planning such an event.

Not soon enough by a long shot, they reached the library. Cadance opened the door, and Spike waltzed on inside. The room was dimmed, lit only by the evening sun streaming in through the windows and the doorway. One by one, Twilight, Cadance, and then finally Rainbow walked inside, with Cadance using her magic to close the door, then lock it behind Rainbow, who visibly winced.

Doing their best to ignore her reaction, Cadance and Spike set about bringing out candles and lighting them while Rainbow just stood there unsurely. Twilight walked over and then sat down on the rug in front of the fireplace.

"Spike? Why don't you... fix some tea," Cadance suggested.

"O-oh, um... yeah! Right... I'll uh... go do that," Spike answered. In just a few seconds, he disappeared into the kitchen.

Cadance took a deep breath. "Rainbow? Why don't you have a seat across from Twilight and... we'll... talk."

For several seconds, Rainbow stood there rigidly, staring back at her. Eventually, she lifted a forehoof, which shook as she held it in the air. Ever so slowly, she crept over, then sat down just out of reach from Twilight. The whole time, she avoided looking at her, or even glancing in her direction, unwilling to risk meeting her gaze or seeing the hurt that she had caused.

Cadance sat down off to the side so that she could look at them both without turning her head too much. She wasn't sure how to start. She wasn't sure if either of them would start if she didn't. Minutes drew on in silence. Twilight stared at her forehooves, occasionally glancing up at Rainbow with a hopeful expression, only to turn sullen again as Rainbow kept her head turned towards the door, her fur wet from tears.

But it seemed the painful silence wasn't to last, "T-Twi, I-I... I-I'm s-so... s-sorry..." Rainbow stuttered.

Cadance's ears folded back, unable to take it. Both of them were hurting so much. They had been so happy together, and she had loved being around the two of them, and now it just hurt.

Rainbow cried. Her apology? An admission of guilt. Nothing could change that. Even if telling her friends had made it real, that paled in comparison to this. Her crying was silent, at least for the moment. She wasn't sure how long that would last.

"It's... fine..." was Twilight's solemn, empty reply. It sounded anything but fine, her voice was more like somepony who had simply given up.

It stabbed Rainbow right in her heart. A high-pitched, pained cry broke out of her mouth. She bit down on her lip, but it barely registered. She trembled and sobbed.

"I..." Twilight trailed off. A soft, weak sigh escaped her lips. "Forgive you..." she whispered.

Rainbow barely heard it, but rather than help, it only stung more. 'I-I cheated on you! H-how can you f-forgive me?' her mind demanded. Her betrayal seemed all the greater for Twilight's spoken forgiveness. She turned away from Twilight in shame.

Yet, it seemed that Twilight still loved her and forgave her, and Rainbow simply couldn't accept that. As if to prove that point, Twilight slowly stood up, then shuffled across the distance between them, then stood in front of Rainbow. Slowly, she wrapped her forelegs around her, then sat down on her haunches and hugged her. Rainbow wilted, but Twilight only hugged her tighter, even as her tears descended onto Rainbow's shoulder.