Chapter 3
Where the real fun begins
Three days later...
Spike was snoring calmly in his bed when suddenly a movement in his blankets brought him back to reality.
He opened his eyes and they were met by another pair, a yellow one with red irises
“Hi” said Discord
Spike screamed and jumped out of bed.
Discord’s head laughed loudly and after a moment the Lord of Chaos appeared in whole mixed up glory.
“You did it again. How long will you find scaring me for life boring ?”
Discord’s expression had all the answers Spike needed.
Dragon sighed, calming his breathing.
“I hope you have a good reason to wake me up like this”
An approval mark appeared over Discord’s head.
“Actually, I do “ stated the spirit “ I have planned our perfect setups to win Rarity and Fluttershy.”
Suddenly, Spike forgot all about his irritation and leaned closer to his gaming buddy, eager to know what he has planned.
Discord coughed and started explaining.
****************
Spike massaged his temples once more.
“So let me get this straight. You are the omnipotent Lord of Chaos, you can make all romantic situations come to life, and here you came up with...”
“...the fieldtrip !!!” Discord exclaimed, confetti falling from the ceiling and fanfares playing.
Spike facepalmed and sighed.
“Please, forgive me for withholding my enthusiasm. How this fieldtrip will be an ideal romantic setup ? Rarity despise dirt and troubles of the travel.”
Discord waved his paw
“Leave this to me, I will give you an options to make her happy and satisfied”.
Spike bit his lip
“If you say so...but this still is quite odd”.
Discord rolled his eyes
„Look, this is just it. They would get suspicious if we got them alone. And this is so out of character that nopony will suspect anything.”
Spike sighed once again. He was starting to have a headache.
„Fine, fine... but what is this „sibling” thing ?”
„Again, this is to create greater illusion. With others our girls won’t expect right away that we have a certain plans towards two of them. And once we will arrive, you and I will have more than plenty opportunities to prove our feelings.”
„You also want to prank more number of ponies ?” Spike asked.
Discord laughed
„Always”.
Spike smiled weakly and asked another question
„So how many ponies are we taking ?”
„17”
Spike’s eyes went wide
„17 ?!!!”
„Well, there are the girls, that makes six, there is us and Big Mac, that makes nine, there are little Cutie Mark Squirts, that makes twelve, there are all the Pie sisters, that makes fifteen...”
„You invited all of the Pie sisters ?!!”
Discord growled
„Well, this is sibling fieldtrip for a reason. Besides, I have some unfinished business with Maud and Pinkie didn’t agree to go if all of her sisters weren’t invited. I guess she didn’t wanted them to feel left out.”
Spike understood that all the participants were going with their siblings. Sweetie Belle with Rarity, Applebloom and Big Mac with Applejack, Scootaloo with Rainbow, as her honorary sister, Limestone, Marble and Maud with Pinkie and...
“Shining Armour won’t be with us “Discord added, as if he read Spike’s mind “ He was very sorry but poor Flurry is sick and he had to stay with her in the Crystal Empire.Geesh...”
Discord flinched
“I know that he is a father and all but babysitting a sick alicorn is like babysitting a nuclear bomb...I hope he gets out of there only half burnt”.
Spike’s gulped and whispered
“Okay...”
Discord winked to Spike
“That leaves a place for you as Twilight’s honorary brother. And it is more than convenient that we don’t have a stallion sabotaging our plans...”
“But who will you take as your sibling ?”
Discord grinned widely
“If you remember, there are still two places left...”
And then he was gone in a luminous flash.
Spike was left alone in a room.
Suddenly, he realized something.
Discord left someone out in his calculations.
Spike put his hands together, his claws tapping each other.
Revenge will be sweet...
***************
Discord materialized in front of the main gate of the Canterlot Castle.
He growled, cursing the protection spells that Celestia casted to prevent him from teleporting inside.
Not that it mattered. Only his teleportation was disabled, rest of his magic remained untouched.
He flew higher and higher until he spotted his destination.
The Royal Tower of Sun.
He flew to the window and opened it, trying to be as quiet as possible.
He got inside.
He was hovering over the huge bed with canopy, ornamented with a solar emblems.
There, under a pink quilt with a tiny bananas on it, was lying Princess Celestia, the co-ruler of Equestria and the immortal incarnate of the Solar power.
Her pastel, multicolour, aurora borealis mane was around her head in complete mess, looking like a weird flame atop of her head. With her legs in all cardinal directions, Celestia was snoring quietly in a small pool in her own saliva.
Discord lowered himself to the level of the sleeping princess, rubbing his hands. This is going to be good.
He turned his head into megaphone and blew the airhorn, yelling
“WAKE UP SUNBUTT !!!!!!”
“Eiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!” Celestia screamed as she jumped up so high that her long horn pierced through the canopy. Meanwhile, her mane came to life, flowing in every direction, so now she looked a multicolour octopus with a pair of pony legs.
Discord fell to the floor from laughter, as princess of the sun was swinging on her horn, helplessly trying to free herself.
“DISCORD !!!! GET ME FROM UP HERE AT ONCE !!!!” Celestia yelled, using her Royal Canterlot Voice.
“Oh-ho-hon it” Discord snapped his claws and the bed disappeared, freeing Celestia. Discord gently levitated her away and snapped his claws once again, making the bed reappear, completely repaired. Then he put the princess to the ground.
“Phew” Celestia blew away the mane covering her face, then gave Discord a grim stare “Welcome, Discord. I am sorry that I couldn’t greet you at the door but I almost died from heart attack when SOME IDIOT SNEAKED INTO MY BEDROOM !!!
Discord smiled
“Nice to see you too, Celestia. You look lovely today and-“
“What do you want ?”
Discord put his paw to the chest
“Why, Celestia, this hurts ! Can’t I visit my favourite princess without a reason ?”
“Not likely. You usually have some business”.
Discord squinted his teeth. She got the point.
“All right, I am going to a fieldtrip, that I planned for some activities...”
“Is it about Fluttershy ?”
Discord’s jaw fell to the floor and he had to pick it up from there. He narrowed his eyes.
Celestia smirked
“When you try to avoid talking about her, you play with your goatee and do this weird thing with your eyebrows...it is just painfully obvious”.
Discord muttered something under his breath. Besides Fluttershy, Celestia was the only pony who understood his chaotic body language.
Celestia gently put a hoof on him
“I am sorry but whatever your love life situation is, I can’t help you in cleaning it. Your fate is in your...limbs. I can’t interfere...”
“But Celestia !” Discord protested
“Now, if you excuse me, the sun won’t raise on its own.” older astral sister started walking to the door.
“But it is not only for me. Me and Spike planned-“ Discord shouted but was interrupted by Celestia, who quickly turned her head to look at him.
“Spike ? Twilight’s Spike ?”
Discord slowly nodded
„Yeah, how many Spikes do you know ?”
In an instant, Celestia galloped back and shook Discord’s paw
“I am in”
Discord stared at her with a mixture of disbelief and irritation
„What do I owe you this very sudden change of heart ? Do you like the idea of Rarity and Spike being together ?”
Celestia bit her lip
„It guess I am okay with it since it makes Spike happy, after all I treat him almost like a son. But it is not a matter of my liking, it is the fact that...” she quickly looked around „ Luna likes it. Very much. At least two times a week she tells me about Spike’s dreams, saying they are plainly adorable. But they are varying from very romantic ones to very private ones... this has to end, in one way or another, I can’t take it any longer. „
She looked Discord in the eyes.
„So what did you needed me for ?”
“Could you be my sister ? This is a sibling fieldtrip and...”
Celestia started to laugh loud enough to wake up the entire castle
“I...your sister...lo-look at you... even in your dreams, I wouldn’t be...” she giggled
“Oh come on, Rainbow Dash considers Scootaloo her sister, even though they aren’t related.”
“That’s different”
“How so ? And was it different back in old days, when we used to live together...”
Before Celestia could answer, a new voice spoke
“Hello my sister. Oh, good to see you too, Discord”
They both turned to window to see the head of Princess Luna, the Moon Princess, sticking from outside the window frame.
Luna flew inside Celestia’s bedchambers
“I just finished lowering the moon and was about to turn in for the day, when I heard Celestia laughing so loudly that it was probably heard back in Ponyville. So, what are you two talking about ?”
Celestia giggled
“Discord wants to become my brother.”
Luna pulled her head back
“Whaaaaat ??!!! And why is that ? We already were once, a long time ago...”
Discord shuffled the ground with his hoof
“It is about the...”
Celestia’s eyes widened
“No, don’t say it !”
“...fieldtrip” Discord finished the sentence.
Luna gasped.
“The fieldtrip ! You mean the fun with your friends around the nature, epic water fights, long talks in the tent, singing songs around the fire, eat delicious treats and stargaze with the ones you hold closest in your heart ?” younger alicorn beamed with happiness.
Discord shrugged
“I guess so. I was turned into stone but I don’t think the definition of fieldtrip changed throughout the millennium.”
Luna looked at Celestia with half closed eyes.
“Tia...”
The white alicorn’s eyes remained cold as steel.
Luna leaned on her sister, grinning widely
“Tia...Tia!!!”
The droplet of sweat flew down Celestia’s brow.
Luna took a deep breath and began
“Tiatiatiatiatia...”
Celestia’s hoof made her on her mouth quiet as the sun princess glared at the indigo alicorn.
“I hear you Luna. But there is no way that I am acknowledging Discord as my brother ! I am still...not quite sure...after that last time...did you really change that much ?”
There was moment when the night ruler thought for a while, with her head lowered.
The she said
“You are right, you shouldn’t do this...”
Celestia sighed in relief
“I knew you will see the stupidity of-“
Luna’s head raised up as her smile returned
“I will !!!”
Celestia’s jaw dropped
Discord rubbed his hands and exclaimed
“Excellent. Now, to cover the formalities “
A document appeared in front of draconequus, who pass it to Luna
The document was called Draconequus Adoption Protocol and consisted of Discord full description and a few formal things about taking the draconequus under care and protection of the signed party.
With a one swift motion, Luna signed the protocol.
“You are now my brother and through me, Tia’s brother too. We are once again a family. Now when is this fieldtrip ?” Luna said as she embraced Discord.
“The day after tomorrow and will endure a week and a half.” Discord responded, more than happy from the turn of events.
The same couldn’t be said for Celestia. Her eye twitched
“Wha...Wha...” she whispered.
Luna faced her sister
“Tia, are you going or not ?”
Celestia blinked
“I...I...really...”
“Oh, come on, we hadn’t got a proper vacations in decades. It will be fun”
“But what about our court ? Our responsibilities ?”
“Well, we will be able to begin day and night from camp as well, and I think that our advisors are more than qualified to steer the kingdom in our absence. And if Cadence will have a moment from healing Flurry, I can ask her to supervise as well”
With this Celestia finally gave up
“All right, I will go.”
Discord threw fists in the air and Luna yelled
“WE SHALL ENJOY THY FESTIVITIES, BROTHER !!!
Celestia shook his head and smiled weakly, watching Discord and Luna bouncing around her on all fours in circles.
“Well, maybe you two really are related” she muttered to herself.
**********
The day of the fieldtrip has arrived.
The ponies gathered at the outskirts of Ponyville, ready for the journey
„I am so super duper excited for this!!!!!!! Sibling fieldtrip is the best idea ever !!!!!!” Pinkie Pie bounced in excitement around her friends
„It is darn strange that Discord planned this all for us” Applejack said sceptically
„Phw pt, he and Spikey-wikey. Otherwise, I wouldn’t trust that crafty devil” Rarity stated, looking at the mirror to check her mane.
Fluttershy gasped
„Rarity, that wasn’t very nice thing to say. Do you think Discord is not capable of organizing a journey and activities for us all ?”
„Well, I think that he most certainly is, darling. But with Spike, this whole event will be more...toned, for our sake”.
„Yeah, I am so glad that boys came up with this „said Twilight „There is nothing so relaxing as reading in nature. I spent so little time outside recently”.
She levitated a sack full of books, along with her sleeping accessories.
„Yeah, and we will eat marshmallows and sleep under sky and do so many fantastic things !!!” Pinkie Pie takled Applejack to the ground in her enthusiasm.
„Whatever ya say, sugarcube „the orange earth pony chuckled” But where exactly are we campin’ ?”
Twilight thought for a moments.
„Spike didn’t want to tell me, saying that the exact location was a surprise, but I assume that somewhere in Everfree Forest”.
Fluttershy squealed and hid behind Applejack
„Oh my, but...Everfree is so...scary. There are...so many dangerous things out there...” she whispered.
Rarity put a hoof on her friend’s back, comforting her.
„Fluttershy, darling, you of all ponies know best how powerful Discord is. If something goes wrong, he will just snap things to normal. And let’s not forget...”corners of her mouth raised up in a little smile „ how much control Spike has over his fire now, after his molting. He was so valiant when he saved me from that Roc, that flames were really something to behold. So you see that we will be safe.”
„I...suppose so” Fluttershy answered hesitantly.
„Yeah, it is not like there is a super secret conspiracy behind it and this fieldtrip will change our lives foreverrrrrrrr....” Pinkie Pie looked around, searching for anything suspicious in her surroundings.
Twilight laughed
„Oh, Pinkie, you are so silly. I am sure that Spike just wants a break, he was working quite hard recently. And Discord may want a break...from...chaos ?”
Five friends shook their heads and laughed merrily.
Pinkie smiled and looked at her sisters, who were getting ready for the journey as well. Maud were playing with the rocks at the side of the road, Marble was shyly watching everything from behind her and Limestone was arguing with Rainbow Dash.
„I can fly faster than sound, how can you beat that ?”
„That’s pathetic, I can crush boulders ten times my size, if I put right pressure. Those chicken flappers on your back cannot do that, can they ?”
„You wouldn’t survive a day in Wonderbolt training !”
„You would be crushed during the first day on our farm !”
„Rockhead !”
„Featherbrain !”
Applejack nodded, overhearing the argument
„Yep, this sure will be interestin’” she sighed.
In the meantime, three younger fillies approached the group
„I am so happy for this, y’all ! This is going to be an amazing bondin’ experience” Applebloom exclaimed cheerfully
„You bet, I know it. Me and Rainbow Dash have many awesome activities planned ! We would rock this forest !!!” Scootaloo said, her wings buzzing from excitement
„Not to mention watching the sunsets and collecting flowers is so romantic” Sweetie Belle sighed dreamily.
The three Crusaders embraced each other, even Scootaloo, usually not eager for a touchy feely stuff, sharing the happiness.
Applejack and Rarity looked at their younger sisters with fondness over their enthusiasm.
„Eeeh, remember when we were like that ?” Applejack smiled
„Indeed, this is beautiful !” Rarity dried her eyes with handkerchief.
„Because, I don’t recall ya like this sugarcube. It had to be eons ago.”Applejack smirked playfully.
Rarity’s eyes snapped open as she thought about some contré for teasing. But her thoughts were interrupted by Twilight, shouting
„Princess Celestia ! Over here !”
A chariot pulled by the pegasi from the Royal Guard descended from the clouds and landed nearby.
The royal sisters exit their vehicle, levitating their baggage off it. Celestia thanked the guards and then the chariot took off and disappeared.
Celestia smiled at gathered ponies, who bowed before her.
„Hello, my little ponies. Please, arise, we are all good friends here, no need for bowing. In fact, myself and Luna are more than happy to be with you throughout this wonderful fieldtrip. Right, Luna ?”
She nudged her sister who stood by her side, with her head lowered down.
Then, the younger alicorn’s head raised up quickly, her eyes opened wide
„I AM NOT SLEEPING!!!!” Luna yelled, hitting her head on Celestia’s bag in same time.
Massaging her head, the night princess let out a melodic yawn.
„You have to forgive my sister, since she is nocturnal, we are now in the middle of her usual sleeping hours. But she stated that she will readjust her biological clock for our fieldtrip. And it is up to me to check if she is not getting herself killed in the meantime.” Celestia explained patiently.
Pinkie Pie started laughing
„You have an amazing costumes, princesses !”
Twilight and the others also noticed the peculiar change of appearance but they tried not to point it out so much.
Luna’s mane was in a frazzle and spiky style, which gave her the look of flowing lightning bolt. She was also wearing her famous „Blame my sister” T-shirt.
Celestia’s mane was tied in ponytail and she was wearing T-shirt that complemented Luna’s „I am with stupid „ with an arrow pointing in Luna’s direction.
“So, when shall we go ?” asked Luna
Suddenly, the red carpet appeared out nowhere and Spike, Discord and Big Mac materialized in a flash.
“Dear ladies, the time has come “ Discord spoke through the microphone “We are here to take you to your well deserved rest and holidays. Me and my friends” he gestured towards Spike and Big Mac “ will assure that all of you will have a wonderful time as both families and friends. Starting now !”
Spike nodded and whistled loudly.
From around the corner emerged the carriage pulled by two stallions. Once they reached the point that the group was standing, they got out of harnesses and went back to town.
Rarity squealed happily
“Oh thank Celestia, a proper way of transportation. Now I would not ruin my hooves on the road !”
She received a meaningful glare from Applejack.
“What ?”said the fashionista “I heard that roads are quire muddy this time of year !”
Apple farmer sighed but didn’t bother to comment her friend’s antics.
Rarity turned to Discord
“Well, this isn’t like you to think about so luxurious way of travelling !”
Discord raised his hands in the air
“Your assumption is correct. It was entirely Spike’s idea and he paid for it. He thought that SOME of you may not like the troubles of the travel and we want you to arrive fresh and full of energy.” said spirit of chaos, putting pressure on “some”.
Rarity put a hoof to her chest
“Spike ?” she turned to face the dragon, batting her eyelashes “ Well, isn’t that thoughtful ? Thank you very much Spikey-wikey !”
The unicorn closed her eyes and gave a dragon cute, little smile that almost instantly caused Spike’s heart to melt in his chest.
Applejack coughed and everypony looked at her
“I am sorry to interrupt, but shouldn’t we get our gear inside ?”
“Yeah, but how 17 ponies can fit in there. Is...rather small...” Twilight noticed.
Discord grinned maliciously and new outfit appeared on him: A red robe with an enormous golden collar around the neck.
“Let’s just say that I received some tips from a friend who really knows how to make something bigger on the inside” he rubbed his hands.
The carriage’s door opened and the group of ponies got inside.
They were in an enormous room that somehow was inside a small carriage. It had comfy sofas, a fully equipped library, TV, jacuzzi and sleeping corner for ponies to relax.
Twilight gasped.
“But...but this is a transdimensional engineering !!! No unicorn or alicorn ever achieved such a feat with magic !!!”.
“My friend is neither an alicorn or unicorn” Discord flinched
“Is he an earth pony ?” asked Applebloom, excited about a potential discovery of new “earth pony magic”.
Discord shrugged
“Well, it is complicated. He is not a pony to begin with. He is far older, far wiser and far more Moffatier. I met him on a sci-fi convention, back when I was known as Q.”.
Applejack raised an eyebrow
“Q ?”
“Yeah, Q. You know, short for Q” answered Discord and quickly changed the subject.
“So, why don’t you get comfy when me and Spike get to driving ?”
Princess Celestia raised a hoof
“Discord, me and Luna would like to fly behind you. We usually travel by chariots and we should really give those old bones a stretch. We will meet with you there.”
Discord waved his paw
“Very well. Now get settled and we will start the journey.”
Then he disappeared along with Spike
After everypony was settled, Discord yelled
“ALL ABOARD !!! We are departing...NOW !!!”
He snapped his claws, shutting the door and the carriage started to move on its own towards their destination.
Discord and Spike, sitting on the trestle, spotted two silhouettes, dark and white, soaring higher to the sky.
“See you soon, Kay-kay, Lulu” Discord saluted, then turned to Spike
“It is all going great, isn’t it ? All along the plan !”
Spike smiled
“She smiled at me...Rarity smiled at me...”
He sighed happily.
Discord rolled his eyes and conjured a bucket of water that fell onto Spike.
“Hold on tiger. If you want more, you need to convince her to want you and that means you have to stay focused. But smile is a very good start too.”
**************
When they arrived at their destination, it was late afternoon.
Discord and Spike helped with taking the baggage from the carriage and then draconequus asked for everypony to line up.
All the campers looked at enormous field with a forest on one side and a shimmering lake on the other. It was a very beautiful place but it was lacking one major detail...
“Where are the tents ?” growled Limestone.
“Yeah, I thought ya said that ya’ll coverin’ the tents...” said Applejack.
“Easy, easy there, I can assure you that Discord has it covered.” Spike reassured his friends.
The spirit in question was watching the sky
“Yes, yes I have “ Discord muttered, distracted “we are only waiting for ...”
Then, two alicorns majestically flew down and landed alongside the rest of the group.
“Well, we are in complete. Now, please line up and close your eyes.”
When the ponies did as he commanded, Discord moved his paw in front of them a few times. Then he said
“Open your eyes please !”
When they did, they saw that Discord was holding a couple of the luminescent orbs. He threw them away, into the valley, and after a few seconds.
“Wooooow !!! “ everypony shouted in awe.
In the place that was empty in a moment, stood almost twenty camping houses, each unique and spacious. It was obvious that each represented the preferences and personality of the owner.
“Our sibling fieldtrip officially started ! Come on, your houses are signed, go get unpacking ! “ Spike shouted, clapping his hands “Oh, this is going to be a fantastic camping time !!!”
Sweetie Belle, who stood right next to him, gave the dragon a wink that he didn’t notice in his excitement.
“You have no idea, Spike. No idea at all” she thought and giggled to herself