With Cadence and Blueblood back in their rooms for the night under the normal guard watching them I was off to meet up with Celestia. Her court should be wrapping up by now, and we can go on our date. She did win that round of Super Mario after all.
“I wonder what place she has in mind?” I wondered to myself, wondering if our date will be out and about in town or just taking a stroll around this massive castle.
Arriving in the throne room Celestia and Raven were finishing up paperwork. "And these are those new trade tariffs for the Minotaur arms deals… and that should be about everything." Celestia said.
"Alright, and we're done for the day then Princess." Raven said, taking the paper and heading off.
Celestia gave off a long sigh, but smiled as she saw me. "Hello there Reaper. Long day as well?" She asked me.
“Not as long as yours.” I said honestly. “Paperwork is never fun.”
"Yes well, after several hundred years I've learned to skim and reject the bad ones and spot the actually important documents while I skim. Majority of it gets rejected anyway." She said, getting up and giving a stretch. "So, shall we?"
“We shall.” I nodded with a smile. “So, where would you like to go on our date?”
"My room."
Woah!
“So soon?” I asked in surprise. “I thought I’d have to wine and dine you first before getting the luxury of entering your room on the first date.”
She laughed. "If we ever want to wine and dine we must first look the part." She said, leading the way. Once there she gave me a simple blue shirt and jeans with shoes. "Hurry and put these on, I'll be back." She said as she rushed to her walk in closet.
“Alright…” I muttered while getting dressed in the clothes Celestia picked out for me quickly, not wanting to let the good lady wait on me.
Once they were on and Celestia walked out of her closet, sporting a simple yet slim fitting pink and yellow sundress. "How do I look?"
“Amazing.” I smiled.
"One final touch." She said, her horn lighting up and in a flash there was a green coated, blue eyed unicorn mare inside the dress Celestia was in. "And Tada, from Alicorn Princess to common unicorn mare."
“Perfect.” I nodded. “So what should I call you while you're like this?”
"How about… Tia, it's a nickname only a few people know. Now then, one last thing."
“What’s that?” I inquired.
Her horn lit up again and in a flash, nothing seemed different, but then she gave me a hand mirror. Taking it- woah!
I was an earth pony, all black coat, golden eyes and neon blue mane. "Like it? It's an illusion spell but the complexity makes even your fur and ears feel real to both yourself and those around you. This way, we can go out properly without all the fuss."
“This is fantastic!” I said in amazement, lightly tapping my chest and feeling my brand new fur like it was real.
"Yup. Now, come on. I have a secret way out of the castle." Tia said, moving aside a large wall painting and revealing a fair sized passageway. We entered and began walking down some stairs and a ladder until finally we were on a walkway tunnel. The noise above gave me the feeling this was under the main roads in Canterlot.
“Secret underground passage?” I asked.
"I actually use this form a lot going out and just having fun some nights. Can't do much as a Princess, so I created an identity that can. Also helps me a lot keep connected with the common folk."
“Sounds about right.” I nodded. “Plus you can finally relax and not be surrounded by servants or other royal things that would get annoying after so long.”
"Oh you have no idea." Celestia sighed. When we got to the exit and she opened the door we were in a store room filled with alcohol. We emerged from the storage cellar to a bar, mostly empty, save the barkeep, a red unicorn stallion in a black and gold suit and har with a black and red mane with emerald eyes. "Whiskey Song." Celestia said with a nod.
"Tia, pleasure as always." He said, cleaning a glass.
“Hello.” I nodded to the stallion.
"Hey there, who's the colt Tia?" Whiskey Song said.
"This is my date, …Grip Chase." Celestia said.
"Heh, well you two have fun now, just don't forget ta' lower and raise the sun and moon."
"Haven't yet." Tia said as we left the bar.
“Grip Chase?” I asked curiously.
"I had a brain fart, can't come up with something good after day court." She sighed. "Anyway, don't worry about Whiskey, he and his family have actually watched over that tunnel exit and entrance for me for about seven generations. Their bar may be mostly empty but the crown buys their excess every year for the Grand Galloping Gala. They also got a lot of great booze from other kingdoms."
“Really?” I asked. “They have that great of booze?”
"Yes, of course the Nobles scoff their noses at it since it doesn't cost four digits or more. Jokes on them since all the Gala booze comes from here and they eat it up. Heh, shit eating ass kissers."
"What colorful language that's totally true." I laughed.
"I don't get to swear when I'm up on the throne. Last time I did the poor stallion died of a heart attack." Celestia sighed. "When you're a goddess in flesh and blood anything of insult to anyone is taken as gospel."
"At some point you just have to set the record straight." I shrugged. "But I wouldn't know what it feels like to be a literal walking talking goddess.""
"You're closer to that than you think. You heal from fatal wounds already so even if you're not immortal you're pretty much nearly unkillable. At the very least very durable."
"Yeah...still hurts like a bitch though." I grumbled.
"I can relate." Tia said as we walked down the streets. We arrived at a small cafe called Caffeine Marco and made our orders. "So, we've talked a lot about your world before but you still don't know all that much about Equis. Any questions?"
"I have no idea where to start." I said honestly. "Cause there's...a whole lot of questions and I don't know which one to ask first…" I said sheepishly. "So...from what I've told you...what's different if I may ask?"
"Well, based on what little I have seen of this show version of our world, several things. Aside from physical appearances, locations look greatly different as well as size seems… odd."
"How so?" I inquired.
"Well, the sky image of the town of Ponyville looks far too small, as does the Canterlot view from the town."
"I did notice these places are a lot bigger." I brought up.
"Yes. I can… somewhat guess why the differences but all in all it's more irksome to me than a real issue. Plus those maps of Equis are also far too small to be accurate at all. And that would be giving it a generous suspension of disbelief."
“I mean, I kind of thought it was more ‘this is the continent we’re focusing on’.” I started. “They never brought up that it was a ‘world map’ weirdly enough.”
"Well, even still it's not accurate in shape or size. Equis is far larger with still much of the lands unexplored, say nothing of the seas aside from the east ocean."
“Fair.” I nodded. “But gotta keep it scaled down enough for the kids, but open ended enough for people wanting to expand on the story ya know?” I shrugged.
"Still, no way that map of Equis could be more than a few thousand miles in diameter. This Equis is at minimum 750,000,000 miles in diameter."
To say my brain trying to process that information came up with 404's popping up, would be an understatement.
Now I flunked science class, but I remember that our own sun was like, 800K in miles around...
“So...I’m not good with math but...that would be ninety three times the size of our sun...” I said slowly.
"Really? How could such a small sun support a planet with life?"
Small she calls it… granted there are bigger that were found, none that come to mind, but still…
“Do you have...legitimately any idea how huge this planet is?”
"I just said, roughly 750,000,000 miles minimum. No one has traveled across the whole world but spells have given us enough data to make estimations."
“I flunked science, but I know for a fact that when you have something this enormous, bad things should be happening.” I started.
"Normally, you'd be right, I'll admit. But Equis and our sun and moon are unique cases. Main reason being, the Heart of Equis."
“As in the core of your planet isn’t about to become a black hole given another thousand or so years?”
"Well, how to put this… Does the Phrase, Mother Earth exist in your world? I know your planet is named it but still, here we just refer to earth as dirt and soil."
“That’s what we call ‘earth’ as well, if you want to get technical the name for ‘Mother Earth’ is Gaea but that’s getting into naming semantics.” I started. “But no, on my world there’s literally no magic, so no ‘earth goddess’ or anything like that...sadly.”
"Heh, well there's no shortage of magic or gods here on Equis. The Heart of Equis is exactly that, a physical beating heart that keeps life and magic flowing throughout the world."
“So when do we adventure down to the heart to turn this planet into a giant Alicorn fighting Unicron?” I joked.
"Heh, doubtful. In any case we don't know too much about the heart, but some say there is a means to see it."
“With a pure soul, heart of gold, and about a few hundred people beaten to a bloody pulp, you can find the door to the mystical heart of Equis.” I said in a mock ‘fantasy narrator’ voice.
"Har har." She said. "But that aside, did you want to know anything specific?"
“What races are on this world if I may ask?” I inquired. “Cause I do know quite a bit, but I’d like to hear it from someone who knows...practically everything.”
"Well, Ponies, Minotaurs, Griffons, Hippogriffs, Changelings though I haven't encountered any for the last five hundred years, Yaks but they've been in an isolation thing for the last two hundred years, Zebras, Deer, Caribou, and various other races I can't list off the top of my head."
“Interesting.” I said honestly. “How are...relations with them if I may ask?” I asked, curious as to if people are on friendly terms more than any socio-political crap.
"Well, As I said the Yaks are in an isolation so I am unsure. Haven't encountered any Changelings in five hundred years, Hippogriffs are mostly quiet but last I heard all was well. The Griffons have been… better but their pride won't help them rebuild after the civil wars. Minotaur relationship is fairly well, lots of trade. Zebra relationships are well as are the Deer and Caribou. In fact the only race we don't get along with is the Demons and Sirens."
“Excuse me?” I asked. “Demons and Sirens?”
She nodded. "Demons, most are mindless monsters that eat everything and anything, even each other but the ones you need to worry about are the ones capable of thought. And the Sirens while mostly nomadic sea dwellers when they sing they can cause various terrible actions. Long ago three when they sang caused violent riots and chaotic fights all around the coasts."
“Normally they would just sing to drown unknowing sailors and eat them...but I suppose it’s different here than ancient greek stories.”
"I thought you said there was no magic in your world?"
“That’s why I said ‘stories’.” I pointed out. “Mythology and the like, just some people thought it was a mythical creature when it could have been just normal animals or something.” I shrugged. “Also they're probably different because in my world's mythology, their bird people.”
"Huh, strange. So, tell me about yourself… Grip, aside from those videogames and vast media archives in your computer, what did you enjoy doing in your free time?"
"I like reading." I said honestly. "Fictional stories especially."
"Oh, then perhaps the royal library has something of your fancy? Many think it's all historical documents but it actually acts more like an archive for all texts we can gather, fiction and nonfiction."
“Sounds amazing.” I said honestly. “Do you have a favorite fictional story to read?”
"Well, I guess an old favorite of mine would be Decipher Starmap. It's an old story about a Pegasus filly who wants to see her parents again and crosses the stars themselves to find them. It's… exactly how it sounds, sad really but being told from her perspective, it's such an innocent point of view."
“Sounds about right.” I nodded. “Even if it’s from an innocent point of view about traveling to meet one’s family again...not being with family to start with is always sad.”
"Any books from your world you enjoyed?"
“There’s quite a lot of stories I’ve read through my life...but my favorite would be...A Confusion of Princes.” I said honestly.
"Oh? Pray tell, what is that about?"
“It’s...a little hard to explain.” I said sheepishly. “But the short of it is basically a retelling of how one man became a Prince of a galactic Empire, died three times fighting aliens, other Princes like him, which are cyber augmented and bioengineered super people, and his own sister just so he can give up the possible life of being the Emperor and adding himself to a galactic wide hive mind so he can live a life as a normal human with the love of his life.” I said sheepishly. “The author said it’s a ‘space opera’ in book form so...unless I go into detail about it it’s a little weird to explain, but it’s still a good book.”
"..." Celestia laughed. "I'm sorry, but I didn't understand a word of that."
“My point.” I said sheepishly. “But in simpler terms, super soldier died three times so he can be a normal human again with his wife outside of the space empire shenanigans. That make more sense?”
"Not by much." She giggled. "Though it does say a lot about your world's fiction and imagination."
“Yes, cause when your world is devoid of magic, gotta let your imagination run free to whatever realms it wants to take it, from an old guy who loves old fantasy tropes, to some racist douchebag who believes Cthulhu exists.” I shrugged.
"Wait… now I'm interested, how did your world know about Lhu?” Tia asked me as I just stared at her.
“Your...you’re joking right?” I asked carefully. “Some guy from Rhode Island who was ‘too rich and white to understand basic things’ was correct on Old God’s existing?”
"Well, yes. Lhu was one of the first. These days he just sleeps in the south seas deep end, but back in the early days he spent his time eating sea monsters causing issues with the port towns… given your… show, version of this world you know of my sister… he taught her about the dream realms and how to traverse them. Funny considering he is the God of the Sea, Nightmares and Gluttony."
“And all of this is because of some guys raging paranoia, illiteracy, classism, and racism…” I started, taking a deep breath. “Do the other Old God’s exist?”
"Well, what do you consider an old god?"
“Well...the only time I've heard of ‘Old God’ or ‘Outer God’ in some cases, are beings that are just...incomprehensible to mortal minds.” I said honestly. “Like with Cthulhu, at least the few times he wasn’t being used to crap on people, was a being that mortal’s couldn’t look at without going completely insane as their minds tried and failed to comprehend whatever the hell he was.” I explained. “Even though some were like ‘he’s some mash of a giant octopus, a dragon, and a human in some weird amalgamation that brings about the end of the world’.”
"Okay, still many gods of all types live here or there on Equis or even on the moon and sun. Save for that one weird group that live below the earth."
“Mole people?” I asked.
"Heh, no. Can't remember their names for the life of me but they love gold and pyramids." She shrugged.
“Weird that Egyptian gods would be underground when a majority of their religion is the cycle of the sun.” I said honestly. “I mean...it can’t be weirder than Horus and Set’s whole grudge match...now that’s fucking weird.”
"Oh that, Set's still just pissed Horus slept with his wife, and it was before they were married so, honestly it's a pointless grudge."
“Thought it was because Set murdered Osiris and wanted to take control of Egypt.” I frowned. “You know, Horus’s father?”
"Huh… yeah, that didn't happen here. Gods can't die unless everything on their Portfolios is wiped from existence."
“It’s better than being told Set tried to jizz inside Horus to murder him cause Egypt thought semen was stupidly poisonous.” I said. “I’m not kidding either, that’s legitimately what they wrote down in ancient Egypt.”
Celestia laughed. "Oh, that, it was just a drunken orgy that got out of hand. Let's just say that's how homo and bisexuality was invented and leave it at that. Well, as well as Homophobia, but that's not too much of an issue these days."
“Is in my world but that’s neither here nor there.” I shrugged. “So...this is rather interesting to hear that gods that my world worshipped exist and are a bit different than their mythological counterparts…”
"Heh, well, just because we're immortal doesn't mean we're perfect."
“Looking at you Zeus.” I rolled my eyes.
"Oh so you know about him too." Celestia said with a sigh. "Honestly I'm amazed he isn't the God of Lebido."
“Yeah, every myth was him unable to keep it in his pants, in whatever form he wanted…” I sighed out.
"You have no idea…" Celestia sighed.
Our meal finally arrived and after quickly devouring it Tia and I walked to a nearby park. "So… do you think it will all turn out alright?" She asked, looking up at the moon, the mare in the moon, Nightmare Moon… Luna, gazing down on the world. "Knowing the future often alters the outcome."
“I’m sure it will.” I said honestly. “Even if this world is...a lot different than what i know, the same key points should still happen as they should...and if not, then I’ll be there to help make sure it stays on track.”
"One can hope. Still, that Incident with Widowmaker concerns me. Some scientists have been studying her gear, comparing it with your technology and found similarities and differences. Some believe that making complete replicas will be a long ways away, unless they substitute certain parts with magic replacements."
“I’d personally like this place not to have powerful firearms cause of...the obvious.” I said nervously.
"I can understand the concern, still though, not even you can deny their usefulness. Some of these games of yours show worse and frankly one God can deal worse damage than your world's nuclear bombs."
“It’s less the fact that nuclear bombs can destroy entire cities and everything in a couple hundred miles around it in an instant, it’s how the area there becomes a barren wasteland for decades after.” I pointed out. “And...yeah, you’ve got a point.”
"Not every unicorn can cast a shield or summon fire. You and I know how dangerous these technology and magics can be. Maybe together… we can ensure they're safe. Gives us more time together as well." She said, giving me a smile. "So, think we can revolutionize Equestria?"
“I’m sure we can.” I nodded. “Just gonna take a lot of time and effort, but I’m pretty sure we’ll both have the time for it.”
"Sounds like fun."
"Portal is up and running. Is Zenyatta prepared?"
"Yes Winston, he's got plenty to find and capture Reaper, but that bug we left in Talons system informed us they already sent someone else in. Apparently Widowmaker was sent but hasn't made contact."
"Lovely… once I get a proper power source for ours I'll be sending a proper team. Think you can hold up op Zenyatta?"
"I will act only if needed."
I yawned. It had been a week since my date with Tia and we were now in the royal Laboratory. Their first take on computers was like the first computer that took up a whole room. Thankfully once they got a better understanding and invented a new field of magic to replace coding and OS, they got something working. "Well, this might not be exactly as yours but think it will work?" Celestia asked as she held the metal case 'laptop' in her hands. In truth it was pretty thick but seemed to work just as well, even managed to transfer a copy of some files from my PC and store and play them here.
“It turns on fine and has transferred some files over, so it’s already doing wonders.” I nodded.
"I'm glad. So, what next?"
“Now is for me to give this thing a stress test.” I said honestly, booting it up. “Better for me to see if it can handle a lot of things at the same time without crashing or accidentally burning someone cause it’s overheating.”
"Fair."
And so I ran the stress tests. To my surprise, it did fairly well, running multiple games I was able to copy over, movies and music all at once without getting warm. On top of that the battery was holding pretty well too.
When I was done with the stress tests Celestia pulled me aside to give me a… "It's basically a magical Physical." She said, putting some wrist straps and a helmet on me. "I find it odd that your world knows so much, if a little wrong, about so many gods yet you say your world has no magic. I know you said this isn't your original body, but It should still be 'lacking' magic, yes?"
“My world has no magic, Reapers world...kinda does.” I started. “Which explanation do you want to know first? Gods on my world or why Reaper’s world is kind of magic?”
"Hm, still this will tell me if you have any or are capable of it." She said, moving over to a glowing yellow gem and looking into it. "Hmm… Huh… I expected as much… Still, seeing it is surprising."
“What up?”
"You're not only capable of using magic, but your magic reserves are actually higher than I anticipated." Tia said.
“How so?” I inquired. “Cause I can understand how I’m able to use magic to begin with cause of...Reapers backstory, but why is it higher than you anticipated?”
"Well, we rank mana reserves on a scale of one to ten. Rank one is the most common, every foal from age one to ten and even some adults have rank one. And as you can imagine higher ranks means more magic and spellcasting possibilities. Your mama reserves put you in a solid seven. Mostly advanced warlocks have that mana reserves rank."
“Huh...that’s a lot stronger than I thought.” I said honestly.
"Yes, but I expected your magical affinity, it’s in dark magics and Necromancy."
“Considering what I think I am...yeah that sounds about right.” I nodded, not entirely surprised by that.
"Yes, however I believe I know why your race was unable to utilize magic." She said. "You lack an inborn conductor."
“Yeah, that would do it.” I nodded. “But...since I might not be thinking it right, what’s an inborn conductor?”
"It's basically a series of special nerve endings that work to expel mana from the body. For most races like unicorns, they're in the horns, races like earth ponies, the hands and feet, or even all along the body. Pesasi the wings primarily, and Alicorns like myself are more Inborn Conductors than normal nerve endings. You seem to lack them entirely, not even dorment ones."
“That’s fair.” I nodded. “And what’s changed for me right now?”
"Nothing as far as I can tell. But we can make you something so you can use the magic."
“What do you got in mind?”
"Well in your games some magic users have wands and staffs. The same principle applies here, allowing some earth ponies and Pegasi to utilize magic like a unicorn if they have a high ranked mana reserves. Normally the ingredients to make one are a tad hard to come by, luckily I'm here for this already."
“I could have just brought up my shotguns.” I pointed out. “But what do you have in mind?”
"Simple." Tia said, grabbing her-
Crack.
I just stared as she broke off her horn. I continued to stare and after half a minute the stub where her horn was glowed and a new one popped out like… kinda like playdough before it finished getting back to the old height. "What?"
“You...just...excuse me wat?” I asked incredulously.
"I told you, I am a Goddess, and immortal. A broken horn to a normal unicorn would be a crippling issue, but for me it just grows back."
“Well...I mean, I’ve had my throat cut open and it regenerated and I’m not a god...just been ignoring a lot of…” I shook my head. “So...just some magical unicorn horn shavings and it’ll help build me a magic wand?”
"Hmm… Close. Your magical attunement is in Necromancy and Dark Magic. I only know a little but…" She took her broken horn, placing it along my arm and her regrown horn lit up black as the void, her broken horn seemed to melt into my skin and I felt my arm go numb for a moment. When her horn stopped the numbness left. "There. I infused my horn into the bones of your arm and hand. The Natural conductor in my horn is also merged into your arm. With a little practice you'll be able to cast magic from it."
“Fascinating.” I said in awe, feeling something suddenly wash over me. “Whoa, okay...that feels weird.” I started, lightly shaking my head.
"A light headedness rush of something?" She asked as I nodded. "That's normal. Most foals get that feeling when their reserves start flowing into their Natural Conductors. That normally follows with a few surges of magic but since the ones I gave you are matured already that shouldn't be an issue."
“Let’s hope for the best.” I said, remembering some key details about Reapers origin and hoping my new magic won’t make it worse.
"Now, it seems the rest of the lab staff has left already…"
“Oh? And what do you have in mind?” I asked curiously.
"Well, well, as fun as our date was I felt like we forgot something."
“And that would be?” I asked, having a sneaking suspicion I know where this is going.
She walked up against me, and gave me a kiss. I blushed but kissed back, not wanting to be rude and giving a middle finger to awkwardness. When we broke it she smiled, giving me a hug. "You're a good man Chris."
“I try my best.” I said, hugging the wonderful mare back.