//------------------------------// // Whatever Bothers You // Story: Happy Go Lucky Me // by Chemtest //------------------------------// I complete a hike up a hillside. I look over the lay of the land from where I am, seeing many cities and towns at odd angles against the horizon. I worked up quite a thirst from that hike, bit hungry as well. All I do is reach up, and I grab one of the cotton candy clouds that are everywhere. Pour all the chocolate milk into one of the glass flowers next me, then eat the cloud. After I’m done, I sit down on the hill top. I reach to my side and pick the glass that has my chocolate milk in it. I raise it up, and drink the glass down, tasting like Pepsi. I then take the chocolate milk in my hand, and attach it to a hat I’m making out of all the strange stuff in this land. This land is very, very strange. I don’t really care about that strangeness, all I can see are the upsides. You have clouds that you can eat that give you a full meal, including drink, for free! If you need a cup, just search for some flowers. There are trees that grow gold, mud made out of hot fudge, vines made out of licorice, broccoli that tastes like steak, and steakthat tastes like bacon! I can hear a friendly laugh from beside me, “I can see you are obviously enjoying your stay here, I wish I could say the same for others. You like what you see?” I look over at the voice to see a chimera smileing at me, “Food and drink is plentiful, danger seems nonexistent, broccoli tastes good, the tress grow gold! It’s a near paradise!” I can see the chimera coil into a more comfortable position, and he smiles, “It is so wonderful to finnaly meet another who appreciates this land! You’d think with all the effort I put into this, those ponies would appreciate it more! But no, they trot around looking depressed, and curse my name! Ponies are truely the least grateful race in existence if they don’t even out on smiles when there is nothing but good now!” It shakes it’s head, “Anyway, my name is Discord, I am the unruler of this land.” He holds out a paw, and I take it, “Pleasure to meet the thing behind all this, Discord. Call me Tim.” He takes my hand, and shakes vigorously, “Very nice Tim. I would invite you to live in the land, but only you can decide that when everything is unruled! Where nothing is more powerful or important than individual ponies, and there is no government to tear down those low on the food chain! Where freedom is aplenty, and safety is kept by me! And I do a good job. The only way ponies die is if they deserve it because of murder and the like, or if they get old.” I look down upon the villages, and see what he said about them not being happy is true, “Why would they not be happy? I mean, I get this land can be strange to some. But they get free food, water, and protection! People back home would’ve killed to live here! Maybe I can help change it.” Discord smiles and nods, “Exactly what I had planned to do! You see, every time I have huge event or parties, the ponies never participate. So I’m thinking that they may be still mistaking me as a ruler, and thus want to act ‘respectful and noble’, bleh! So I’m thinking that maybe an outside could try and get them happy. Because, beleve me, it’s tearing me apart Lisa that these ponies cannot get happy in my parties!” I nod along, “Well, I can help easily. I do hate seeing them be unappreciative of the paradise they are in, so I will try and cheer them up. I am only one man, but I have the spirit and determination to see this through! Although, as I said, I am only one man, so doing all that would be quite hard.” Discord smiles, “Yes, so we come to the second part of my idea. I needed an outsider, and I’ve had plenty. But what I really needed was something that could appreciate the upsides of my unrule. Someone who saw the chaos here the same way I do! And, it would seem that we are spirits kindred in chaos, Tim my friend. As you’ve stated, this land may be strange, but they still get so much from it. Others would want the land gone simply because it is strange, and I believe you may meet those two later, and most simply refuse any upsides exist simply because it is strange. But you are different, because you look at the bigger picture.” I nod back, “I always try to roll with the punches, see the bigger side and not just a small part. People may see all this strangeness as being wrong, and it messes with them. But I don’t care, whatever bothers them, never bothers me. They just see the others around them being sad, so everyone shrinks their perspective into pessimism. If I go in there and make a few happy, it will cause a chain event leading to them all gaining bigger perspective, and gaining a more optimistic tone about the situation.” Discord nods along with my words, “I may have forgotten to mention that I am also the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. And those titles come with certain upsides, some of witch can be seen by looking around at my handiwork, or maybe it would be hoofiwork. Either way, I also gain these artifacts. The Elements of Chaos, beautiful things they are. Anger, Creativity, Deception, Power, Jealousy, and my two favorite, Laughter and Fun. Laughter does change its sides quite a lot, sometimes Chaotic, sometimes Harmonic, a great example of Italian philosophy. Fun always switches positions with Laughter, so they can never be on the same side, it was made as a balancing act. And I think Fun would be the perfect Element for you, Tim, given what I have seen and what you have said.” He takes it out, and hands it over to me. It looks like a large church bell, but it’s designed like a jester bell. It fills up the palm of my hand, and it is near weightless, “Thank you.” He nods, “No problem at all! Better than it sitting around gaining dust anyway. You have to actually wear it for it to work. But as you can feel now, it’s near weightless because of the power you’ve gained from it!” I take it and attach it to my clothes, and I can feel new power course through my veins. I reach into this power, and focus deeply. Then I feel an ukulele in my hand, and I know it’s worked. I hold the ukulele, take an exaggerated bow so the bell rings, “Off I go then!” Discord nods, “Good luck! I’ll be sitting on the sidelines eating popcorn just in case!” I take my ukulele, ring off a few notes, and start to prance down the road.