The confused Human Twilight just looks at you flabbergasted at your declaration. It’s a look that screams, “Blasphemy!”
Oh right, Twilight in any world is a learning nerd…but they say honesty is the best policy, you shrug.
The only one who says that is that hick cousin of yours who’s tried to kill you since day one, Selena grumbles, upset at your stupidity.
Oh yeah…Well it’s too late now, she already knows too much.
With that, you cough nervously into your filthy hand and explain,
Down With Chrysalis’s Comment
"Well, you see Twilight, I need to sneak into the school after hours-" Twilight shakes her head back and forth interrupting you.
"No no no no! Why do you need my help to break into the school!? Actually, a better question is why do you need to break into the school in the first place?!"
You chuckle nervously at Hu-Twilight's outburst, and as you do you can hear Selena sighing in your head,
Did you honestly think she wouldn't react like this? Given her personality it’s a surprise she didn't immediately go to another faculty to rat you out.
Hey, Humie-Light's a lot of things but she isn't someone who would rat out a person in need...I think. Besides I already have a back up plan in mind!
And what’s that?
Stromboli! How do I convince an outraged party to do my bidding?
Ahahahahahahaaa, Sombra continues to laugh as he has for the past few minutes at your doppleganger’s misfortune.
…That was your plan? Selena says exasperated.
No, that was my backup plan, and clearly it’s failed! You panic as Hu-Twilight looks to you for answers.
“Uhhh…” you stammer before you catch out of the corner of your eye the disheveled, and still frightened looking bullies from before. Whatever Twilight did to them at that haunted animatronic house clearly left a mental mark.
That’s it!
“It’s simple really kid. I need to prank those bullies too,” you lie as you point to their retreating forms.
She looks confused at that, so you continue.
“Puppy endangerment doesn’t just deserve one mentally scarring prank Twi, it needs several. Those girls have to go through enough trauma that when they even think about you, the blood drains from their faces and they have flashbacks.”
She blinks and slightly backs away from your enthusiasm over mentally scarring teenager.
“That sounds…rather intense…” she sputters, but you press on with your lie.
"Look Twi, I do not like bullies, at all. In fact if I were to compare bullies to the worst thing you can think of, the level of hate you would have for that thing wouldn't even compare. So while you may have gotten revenge on them, I still need to teach them a lesson!"
Surprisingly, instead of looking at you more like a crazy person for your sense of logic, Hu-Twilight just nods her head slowly at your explanation.
"I...I guess that makes sense Mr. Bugze, from an emotional standpoint at least," she rationalizes which causes you to blink in slight surprise.
Huh, weird, I figured she would have yelled about morals or something like the real Twilight usually does and I’d have to wear her down by reminding her of past bullying sessions.
I truly am starting to believe that you are a bad influence on this human girl.
What's that supposed to mean!? I'm a perfectly good influence, just look at how nicely Nightshade turned out, you shoot back.
In Horse World
“So are you bucking telling me that Applejack and Daddy have been cousins this whole time?!” Nightshade shouts in disgust, waking up several folks on the train.
“Yeah, your Grandma and Granny Smith’s eldest son were half-siblings,” Grandbuggy nods.
“But…But…Applejack is one of those crazy stalker mares! She’s KISSED Daddy before! BLEH! Oh cheese and rice WHY?!” she starts gagging and shaking her head.
“Because lazy anime tropes don’t translate well into real life kid. Something your Dad hasn’t quite figured out yet,” Grandbuggy shakes his head in disappointment.
“Oh gods! That means Braeburn’s my cousin too, and I thought he was handsome! I also used Big Mac as Mare Kryptonite in my revolution…AAAAAAHHHH!!!” Nightshade screams as her eyes turn white and she rushes out of the private room. Ahuizotl wakes up from all the noise and looks to Grandbuggy.
“What is all that about amigo?”
“GIVE ME THE BUCKING PASTRY CART! I need a bunch of sugar to scrub my mind clean!!!” her voice yells from further down the train.
“Alright alright, please don’t hurt me, I have a family,” whimpers the no doubt bewildered train employee.
“Don’t say the word family to me right now! It’s unclean at the moment and needs fixing! Omnomnomnomnom!!!” come the unmistakable sounds of a pig out session.
Grandbuggy just facehooves before putting on his pony guise and walking out the door.
“Just some mental trauma that’s been a long time coming because of my boy’s stupidity. Just go back to sleep Ahzi, I’ll deal with this before she eats the hole train dry.”
“Pie for the Pie God! Cakes for the Cake Throne!” she screams, stuffing said two deserts into her mouth.
Human World
You decide to ignore the heavy feeling ironic dread that suddenly hits you, but you do let out a tiny shudder.
I’ll deal with whatever that was later, you think in slight melancholy.
Human Twilight then puts her hand to her chin in thought.
“But Mr. Bugze, if you sneak into the schools after hours, even if I helped you, there’s still the risk of you getting found out. You just talked to Principal Cinch, so you know you don’t want to get on her bad side.
“Oh right, her…” you nod and fumble for an excuse. “Well, I, uh…Pranking those whorses is one thing, but I also need to make sure Cinch doesn’t have any blackmail on B2-I mean me!"
“Huh?” she raises a brow. “What do you mean by Ms. Cinch might have blackmail on you?"
At Twilight's innocent look you can't help but chuckle awkwardly.
"Ah, well let’s just say she dug up some things from his-MY past that I’d rather not get out, and I'm not exactly comfortable with her having said information on hand."
Who knows what will happen if I step out of line and she decides to use B2's past as a way to make me do something. I've yet to be blackmailed into doing something so far in my life, and I'd like to keep it that way thank you very much!
I do believe you just jinxed yourself.
…Oh Gorammit!
Twilight seems a bit taken aback, but her more rational persona takes the front.
“Okaaaayyy…I’m not going to ask about what THAT entails, but unless she has a big folder with all your secrets in it like in a movie, you’re not getting rid of that info by sneaking in.”
“What? Why not? And why wouldn’t she have a large folder?”
“Because she has a computer?” Twilight says as if it’s obvious.
“What? You mean the magic cat video box? What’s that got to do with anything?”
“…Are you serious?” she asks befuddled, but at the look on your face she comes to understanding. “You are…how are you so behind technologically-wise?”
“Because my world hasn’t gotten off it’s lazy flank and made the interwebs I guess,” you respond.
“What?”
“Nothing! So wait, the Inter-computer thing has more than funny videos?”
“Yes! It’s a global network of information sharing that’s steadily progressed over the last 30 years. You have an E-Reader for heaven’s sake, how do you not know this?” she demands.
“I thought it was just for books,” you shrug and wilt back. “But if what you say is true, then I guess dismantling the entire Compu-Net is out of the question?”
She just gives you a blank, dumbfounded stare.
“I’ll take that as a yes…Gorramit!” you spit.
Stupid hummies, always muddling up my ingenious plans.
The plans you came up with not 30 seconds ago as an excuse to look for a magic portal? Selena rolls her eyes.
…Okay, they weren’t ingenious, but still, it’s the principle of the matter!
“Well if that plan is out, I’m still going to break in, and now you’ll have even more incentive for helping me right? So that I can prank your bullies and not get fired and have my past smeared over the school?”
“I…I guess I could still help,” she mutters looking away. “But I myself don’t want to be on Cinch’s radar.”
“Oh you’ll be fine. Just science me up something to get past the cameras and electronic locks, and they’ll never know it was you.” She looks to you and raises her brow again.
“You want me to make some sort of portable electrical disrupter device by tonight?”
“Ummm…Yeah?” you guess. She then looks up in thought, doing mental math.
“I suppose I could crank that out, though I’d have to cannibalize parts from Dad’s ham radio and the drone Cadence gave Shiny for his birthday…”
“Cool, so yeah, make that up, show me how to work and I’ll get those girls good for you,” you smile.
“OK,” she nods, “But you are going to take other precautionary methods right? Like gloves?”
“Why would I need gloves? It’s not cold,” you ask confused.
“So you won’t leave fingerprints when those girls no doubt complain about whatever you’re going to do?”
Master of Shadows’s Comment
“Finger Prince?” you ask in slight disgust, imagining a human with crown in a room surrounded by hands.
Oh gods, it’s Lyra’s fantasy come to life, you shudder.
Again, Twilight gives you that look as if you’re the most sheltered person in the world.
“Uh, yeah? Fingerprints? The unique identifying marks at the end of your fingers?”
“Wait, for real?” you say as you bring your wriggly appendages up to your face and look at them closely. Sure enough, on the tips of each one are unique swirl patterns you’ve never noticed before.
“Wow…these things get more and more disgusting the longer I stay here,” you gag and pull them downward while Twilight just stares at your antics.
“So what you’re saying is these things can be left behind if I don’t wear gloves?”
“…Yes?” she says, still mystified.
“Well alright then, I’ll just burn everything I touch,” you say rationally.
“What?!” Twilight gasps.
“I don’t like the feeling of gloves on these spidery things, so if I just burn everything, then there’s no evidence left behind, easy peasy.”
Twilight looks perturbed by you now and you hear Selena sigh heavily once again.
Ugh, when will people in ANY universe recognize how beautiful and natural fire is? You complain.
“…Ok, I’ll help you break in after hours, but on one condition,” she says after awhile.
“Yeah, name it,” you say happily.
“You have to take me with you.”
...
...
...
What!?
A FEW HOURS LATER
Twilight went on to explain that she didn’t want you burning down the school, so she was going to help you make your job easier by going with you. You didn’t really have any room to negotiate, though it did bring up an interesting point when discussing this with B2.
“So wait, that kid is going to tag along with us?”
“Yeah,” you nod.
“Dude, how are we going to keep up the ruse of being one person if she finds out? She’s smart, I bet she’s already figured it out,” he panics.
“Don’t be so sure, with the power of disguises, anything is possible.”
“Disguises don’t hide voices and physical traits well, especially when we’re side by side,” he points out.
“You’d be surprised,” you smirk and tell him about all the times you’ve become a new person with just a few random clothes.
“…Are the horses in your world just that dumb?”
“Generally? Yes, I do think so,” you nod. “So we’ll dress you up, and I’ll meet her and you’ll be an acquaintance or something and-“
“I don’t want to,” he says crossing his arms.
“What?”
“I said I don’t want to. I’m the human native in this world, you’re the visitor, why don’t YOU dress up?”
Just_another_guy’s Comment
“But I do that ALL the time, I was getting used to walking around normally, even if I do look butt ugly.”
“You’re wearing some anime character clothing right now.”
“Shut up, this coat is awesome!” you defend.
He crosses his arms again and gives you a defiant look.
“My planet, my rules. If I’m going to risk the first job I’ve had in a long time trying to find your stupid portal, then I call who goes in disguise.”
“Ugh! Fine!” you huff and thump yourself onto the couch angrily.
Stupid B2. I’m not going to tell you that info about Cadence now until I’m less upset with you.
That’s pretty petty Bugze.
Yes. Yes it is, you agree.
Your mood doesn’t get any better when B2 produces the disguise for you.
“You’re kidding right?” you ask.
“Nope. Found these for cheap at the Goodwill since you decided to blow almost all our dough on that stupid campsite!”
“I had to screw over Human Filthy Rich, and I felt bad for beating up that lady!” you defend.
“Well, either way, here’s your punishment,” he says with a smirk as you look down at the clothes.
…Dear Luna I am petty.
AT THE SCHOOL ENTRANCE
We now find you and B2 in front of Crystal Prep at night, waiting for Twilight while you wear your new “disguise.”
It’s a black bandana with green leaves on it, similar to a cutie mark you saw at the hippie camp, and it is being worn around your gross human mouth.
Come to think of it, it smells like hippie too. Bleh.
On the rest of your body is a thin dark green rain coat with a hood that can easily be folded up and put into your pocket in case you have to run and disguise yourself quickly.
“I look like a freaking serial killer,” you complain.
“I know right?” B2 chuckles and you role your eyes.
“Alright, I get it. Jokes on me,” you huff. “Now focus. You’ll be in charge of pranking those bullies’ lockers and distracting Twilight while I look for the portal.”
“Oh, you don’t have to tell me twice,” he says holding up a dufflebag full of shaving cream, glitter, and some sort of small improvised explosive device.
“I’m going to have a field day cleaning up this mess tomorrow, but it will so be worth it,” he chuckles.
“Alright good, but remember what I told you. Stay away from the Cinch lady. She’s terrifying,” you warn and he hand waves your concern.
Oh, he’ll find out soon enough, Selena reassures you, sounding a little snarky.
After awhile of waiting, and B2 taking pics of you and laughing, Human Twilight finally appears…and what she’s wearing catches you both off guard.
Kichi’s Comment
“Uh, Twilight, what the heck are you wearing asks B2.”
“Well since we’re sneaking in, I felt I needed a sneaking disguise, and this was the closest thing I had,” she says gesturing to herself.
“That’s a Catwoman outfit,” B2 points to the black outfit with a mask and cat ears on top.
“It’s the only dark clothing disguise I had,” she harrumphs. “It’s from when me and Shining went to comic con when he was Batman and Cadence was Robin.”
Puppy Spike then takes that moment to pop his head out of her bag, and he’s also disguised with a mask.
“…OK, I’m not even going to touch that one,” B2 shudders, and you can’t help do the same.
Catwoman? Selena huffs in disgust. It’s CatMARE you filthy peasant. Catmare!
Not on this world it isn’t, Sombra chuckles.
I took my name from that wonderful character, and I will not see her sullied by…whatever the Tartarus that is.
Am I the only one creeped out by the implications of Shining and Cadence being Batmane and Robin together?
…Well now you’re not, Selena gags.
“Um, who’s this?” Twilight asks nervously pointing at you and you pull yourself from your internal conversations.
“Oh, that’s my cousin, Smokey Joe,” B2 says with a chuckle causing you to glare. “He’s going to help us out.”
“Oh…OK. Do you always dress like that?” she asks.
“It’s a disguise kid, and quite frankly it’s more subtle than yours,” you point out, changing your voice slightly.
“It’s all I had!” she repeats before looking to B2.
“But at least I am disguising myself, what about you Mr. Bugze? I don’t think the fake beard will cover you much since you wear it to work so often.”
“Right…fake beard,” B2 ruefully scratches at his lush full beard. “But don’t worry, I got that covered.” He then pulls out a set of fake oversized glasses and puts them on.
“Really? That’s it?” Twilight asks in deadpan.
"Well, if it works for Superman, it can work with me" he declares.
SuperMANE! Ugh! Selena growls, echoing your sentiments.
“But this isn’t a comic book,” Twilight argues.
“Again, you’re dressed as Catwoman,” he responds.
“Ugh, fine,” she huffs and reaches into her bag pulling out some sort of weird science fiction looking gizmo.
“Hopefully these disguises won’t be needed though with my latest invention. Are you two ready?”
You both nod and she leads the way to the front entrance. She then presses several buttons on the device, and the electronic lock sputters out and dies. Looking through the door into the hallway, the red light on the closest camera is also dead.
“We’re in,” Twilight says mischievously before giggling. “I always wanted to say that.”
You all then go in, and while B2 and Twilight head for the lockers, you start examining every nook and cranny of the school that you can. You even hold aloft the Magic rock sliver you took from Gloriosa, but nothing happens.
“This is such Bullspit! Where the buck is that portal?” you grunt as you slam closed the refrigerator in the cafeteria.
Bugze, it might be time to consider that perhaps the portal isn’t here, Selena chimes in.
No, that’s impossible! It has to be here! You shoot back. Otherwise I have no idea where to look for it.
I understand that, but it might be the case.
But Jack said that things mirror our world. Simba had it in the Crystal Empire, so it HAS to be here in Crystal Prep. Wait…I never checked Cinch’s office before! You perk up and rush towards the Principals office.
After entering the deactivated door, you flip on a light and view the interior of her office.
“It’s gotta be here! It’s got to!” you say in determination as you start pawing through her stuff. You handle all the trophies and certificates, but nothing seems magical in nature at all.
“…WHY ISN’T IT HERE?!” you shout and stomp your feet.
A thought occurs to me, Sombra speaks up.
What? What amazing thoughts do you have you dang Hummie?! You ask aggressively.
I took the mirror in my secret conquest of treasures before I was banished. In this world, I was apparently a musician, so the other me had money. Perhaps my doppelganger might have it if he lives.
“…That’s actually a very valid point,” you say in shock.
Indeed. Why did I not think of it?
Because you’re too busy swaddling the idiot to think for yourself, he says jerkishly, which ruffles her feathers.
“Alright, calm down,” you reprimand. “I’m trying to compliment you here Smokey, no need to be a jerk. But yeah, if the mirror isn’t here then maybe your washed up rocker self might have it…but that just begs the question of where the heck he’s at.”
The only lead we have is your human self. He would know him better than anyone, Selena exposits and you nod.
“Right…hopefully B2’s up for searching for his former band mate. I just don’t know about meeting another Sombra though, will this one be all annoying as well and be a big fan of ponies or something?”
Hey! He barks and you chuckle.
“But yeah, looks like we gotta look for Smokey’s double if we want to find that mirror…let’s get out of here before we get in trouble first though.”
You then gingerly make your way back to the row of lockers you left Twilight and B2 at, and judging by their smirks, their prank booby trap has successfully been set.
“Hey man, you missed the set up. Find anything?” he asks.
“No,” you slump your shoulders and he looks concerned. “But I do have another possible lead. I’ll let you know about it later though.”
He nods before looking back to Twilight.
“So the cameras and locks will just come back on once we exit?”
“Yup,” she nods enthusiastically. “Once I press this button, the systems won’t even register that anything was wrong.”
“Well alright then, let’s roll,” B2 takes charge and leads you all out the door.
Once outside, Twilight activates her device, and the electronic locks come back on line, as do the cameras, just like she said.
Hmmm, you ponder and look at the magic stone in your hand.
What are you thinking my bug? Asks Selena.
Just an idea. This Twilight can put together some nifty contraptions…maybe we can get her to make a magic finder or something. We’ll have to look into it later.
After bidding adieu to Hu-Light, you and B2 hop on the back of the motorized scooter and head back to your library “Home.”
“So, you didn’t find the portal huh?” he asks.
“No, unfortunately.”
“Well that sucks…but you said you had a lead?”
“Yeah, and really I’m going to need your help finding it.”
“Oh?” he asks intrigued.
“Yes. Do you know where your Sombra is?”
He nearly swerves off the road with that one, before righting himself and gritting his teeth.
“…I know where that SOB was last when he refused to help an old friend off the street, yes…Oh God, don’t tell me he’s your lead?”
“Well…”
He groans and shakes his head.
“Damn You Lady Luck,” he mumbles.
IN EQUUS
POV CHANGE: Nightshade
After two days of train travel, you are dealing with the revelation that your extended family is much bigger than you thought relatively well.
“Stupid Daddy for not telling me!” you grumble. “We could have had Hearth’s Warming celebrations with the rest of our kin.”
Greta is still stowed away in your Inventory so as not to be kicked off the train, and Ahuizotl and Grandbuggy look out the window in earnest for your next stop.
“Shouldn’t be long now kid,” Grandbuggy speaks up, pulling you out of your pouting. “End of the line’s coming up.”
“Oh goody,” you grumble and cross your arms.
“Come on kid, don’t be like that. It’s been two days.”
“So? Dad didn’t tell me the truth, of course I’m gonna still be upset. What makes it worse is that I can’t write to Spike to tell Applebloom because that would blow our stupid cover. Ugh!”
Ahuizotl looks to Grandbuggy nervously and mutters, “Yikes.”
“Alright I get it Shade, but don’t just Grumble in self pity, chew your Dad out when we see him again. Right now we got focus on the mission.”
“Fine…” you roll your eyes, though inside you are still very upset. “What’s this dumb place called again?”
“Well, it’s a fairly new settlement that doesn’t really have a name yet, built by a bunch of ponies living off the grid. So probably your typical hippie settlement.” He punctuates that last statement with a spit to the ground.
“It doesn’t have a name?” you ask in actual curiosity.
“Well, not a proper one anyway. The food and lumber suppliers said these hippies kept referring to it as “Our Town.”
“R Town?” Ahuizotl asks.
“No, O-U-R Town. Stupid name if you ask me,” he shrugs.
And as he says that, the train pulls to a stop at a lonely platform in the middle of nowhere.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
