//------------------------------// // A Glass of Milk Before Ed // Story: Ed, Edd, n' Eddy: Equestrian Mis-Edventures // by Barracuda cyborg //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie and Gummy were getting ready for bed as she and her pet raced into their bed, "You beat me again you slippery salamander!" Pinkie exclaimed as Gummy blinked, "You wanna read a story? Okay then." With that the party pony pulled out a box of books. She rummaged through a box of books until she pulled out a weirdly titled book , "Spike hates himself, what is this?" Pinkie asked as she looked at the green and purple book with a sad looking dragon on the cover, despite her best judgement she began to read the book and it was as shocking as the title, "Am I reading a suicide note, should we tell Twilight about this?" Gummy just stared blankly at the wall in response to his owners question. "Yeah, you're probably right, Twilight might thinks we wrote this and go ballistic on us." Pinkie replied before she continued reading, she heard a loud bang coming from her wall. She got up and knocked on the wall only to be greeted with another knock in response, this lead Pinkie to her final conclusion, "We got wall possums Gummy!" It wasn't actually possums, but rather three boys gasping for air, "Fresh air at last!" Double D exclaimed as he took in a deep breath. "Come on guys move!" Eddy shouted as he kept squirming in order to get as much room as possible. "I think I'm sitting on a pipe." Double D stated as the cramped space was starting to get to him. "My turn!" Ed shouted as he wanted to be part of the conversation. "Hey, how'd you guys get stuck in the wall?" Pinkie asked, she soon looked at Gummy, "What's that Gummy?" She asked as if the alligator was talking to her, "Gummy says you guys need to book it before Mr. and Mrs. Cake call the cops." "Hey Gummy, ever take a tour of a sausage factory?" Eddy retorted towards the pet. "Eddy please, Pinkie deserves a proper explanation." Double D said, stopping his friend from getting more angry, "Now if someone could readjust themselves, I would be happy to tell her the story." "Oh boy a new bedtime story!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she tossed the other book across the room. Double D cleared his throat and began to tell the tale, "Now it all started when-" "Oh come on Ed's starting to drool on me!" Eddy exclaimed as it was true that Ed was drooling on his head. "There's an art to telling a story Eddy, one must utilize a special mixing to be fully enjoyable." Double D replied. "Boring." Ed stated, even though he probably didn't even understand a word his friend said. "Yeah, boring!" Pinkie added in support of Ed. "See even Pinkie has you numbered." Eddy said with a smug look on his face, "Let me tell you how this started." ----- Eddy seemed to walking down a street in a pure white tuxedo and top hat as some of the ponies were praising the very ground he walked on, "I was walking down the streets of town, same old thing when I ran into my two favorite friends." "Hello Mr.Eddy, what wonderful idea would you like to do today?" Double D asked as he carried a large bundle of blueprints. "I am a lump." Ed stated as he slammed his head into the ground. Eddy pondered, "Let's try the Spittin' image of wax idea." "Of course, but how are we going to estimate the amount of money needed to buy all those crayons?" Double D asked as he pulled out a large calculator. "Well obviously we would need to take correlation between the gross revenues and the sum of the square root divided a piece of pie and the currency exchange of bits into account." Eddy stated. "Oh, what was I thinking? You're a genius, Mr. Eddy!" Double D exclaimed as he began to bow down to Eddy as if he was a god. ----- "Really Eddy, the square root of a piece of pie and the current exchange rate of bits?!" Double D sarcastically asked, breaking Eddy out of his delusions. "What?" Eddy asked. "Pure fiction Eddy! Your story is nothing more than utter poppycock!" Double D stated, appalled at how even after all the three have been though, Eddy's ego was still unchecked. "Tsk tsk, I have never heard such language." Ed said joining the conversation yet again. "Don't stop now. What happens next?!" Pinkie said, all too excited to keep still in her bed. "Just a moment Pinkie; now continuing from where Eddy left off, we decided to run a correctly designed Spinning image of Wax emporium. ----- Double D was busy dusting his work table and the three example wax figures of himself and his friends as a few ponies stepped by the table, "Oh happy day, a customer." Double D pleasantly said before being interrupted by his friends. "Get their money! Its mine, all mine!" Eddy shouted as he and Ed acted like wild savages at the sight of the easy money, luckily it was stopped by the two falling over. "Oh dear..." Double D muttered, hoping that the situation would be trouble free, "Hello there folks, would you like to participate in our full body wax statues?" The two mares looked at each other before going for the idea, "Yes, but do you do smaller figures?" "Why yes, all that we require is a photograph to-" Unfortunately Double was interrupted by Eddy who just barged into the conversation. "Get the cash! Come on sock head it's easy pickings!" Eddy exclaimed as he was too eager to get the money for the scam. "It's rude to interrupt Eddy!" Double D shouted stopping Eddy and causing him to sulk down; "Now if you would please supply us with a photograph we can-" Double D was interrupted yet again as Ed began to drool over the photograph the two mare were providing, "My apologies folks; Ed cant help himself sometimes, lovable oaf." Double D stated as he brought Ed back and wiped his mouth. "Let me have the cash, so I can put it as a down payment?" Eddy stated as he was trying to keep his composure in check. "I see some real progress in you Eddy." Double said hopefully, until he saw Eddy trying to grab the bag of bits from the mares. "Ah help he's like a leech!" One of the ponies shouted as the other pried Eddy off of her friend. The two quickly ran off as Eddy and Ed gave chase. "What are you doing?!" Double D shouted causing the two to stop in their track and return to him, ready to receive their reprimanding, "I cant believe this...even here you've managed to screw up a simple endeavor!" Eddy thought that his friend was just being hysterical and decided to calm him down, "Sockhead calm dow-" "NO!" Double D shouted cutting off Eddy much like how he did to him, "I have put up with all of this insanity up till today, It is your fault that we're even stuck here!" Eddy could see that all the anger was now being used from the very reason the trio were even in Equestria: the scam of the Century that went wrong, "Well if you had built the thing right!" Eddy retorted as he was pushing all responsibility off of him. "If you had followed the clear instructions I had made none of this would've happen!" Double D replied, "Take note as I'm-" ----- "Stupid egghead, and a blubbering dweeb that cant take a joke!" Double D or rather Eddy said in his best attempt of Double D's voice, "I wish Eddy could teach me in how to be cool." "Uh guys, this story isn't really exciting or fun, and I think Gummy is getting scared." Pinkie said as she began to cuddle her pet "I thought we were gonna have an adventurous tale of a red hooded girl with a scythe, a bear and bird fighting a witch, or even robots turning into cars." "What do we look like, story book authors?" Eddy said as he tried yet again to dislodge himself from the wall. "And so it went!" Ed exclaimed as it was now his turn to tell the story, "Little did Ed, Edd, n' Eddy know that forces beyond their comprehension, the magical creatures of Equestria in attempt to foil the Ed's efforts in being friends by sending the spirits of anger and hatred upon them: the Wendigo. Slowly one by one, the lone boys friend's dark side began to grow from the beasts influence. ----- Double D and Eddy were continuing their argument, the only thing different was that Double D was now speaking in the language of 'Blah', "Blah, blah blah blah! Yap Yap; Blah Blah Dribble Ramble Ramble!" Soon enough a chilling wind was sweeping the town, "What's going on?" Eddy questioned. Double D was muttering until he was interrupted by Applejack, "Tarnation boys, y'all need to round-up yer critters and high tail it outta here!" Applejack said as she shook the boy before running away. "Yappy Yap!" Twilight exclaimed in the same language as Double D as she and Spike flew off in AJ's direction. "Guys look!" Ed shouted to get his friends attention, lo and behold three spectral horses wee hovering above the three boys. "I ain't going down without a fight!" Eddy shouted at the spirits before nearly dodging a flung apple cart. The three boys ran for their lives from the flung objects. "Blah blah blah?" Double D asked "You two need to apologize!" Ed exclaimed as he hid in a barrel. "Me apologize?" Eddy asked, "I know this is your story Ed, but there is just some things I wont do!" The winds began to blow more dangerously as Eddy refused to stop the fighting, more and more objects were flung, "Okay fine I'm sorry!" "What was that?" Double D asked breaking out of his usual 'Blah'. "I'm sorry alright, it was all my fault!" Eddy shouted, "I'm nothing more than a foul-up wannabe loser who just pushes his problems on everyone else! Double D looked at his friend who was now sobbing because he was indeed right about everything he said, "Eddy?" "What?" Eddy asked. "I forgive you." Double D responded as he pulled in his friend for a hug. The winds began to slow down as the Wendigo looked at the two boys before neighing monstrously. Ed popped out of the barrel before looking for a small hole coming out of Sugar Cube Corner, "We have found shelter!" Ed exclaimed as he shoved his friends in the hole before running into the hole himself. ----- "And stuck in the wall we became, The End." Ed said with a wide grin. "Wow Ed, what an intriguing world you live in." Double D stated as he was still processing what Ed had just finished. "I think we all learned a lesson here." Eddy added, "Okay Pinks, there's the story so how about pulling a way outta here out of that mane of yours." Unfortunately his plea fell upon deaf ears as he noticed that Pinkie Pie was fast asleep. "She is sleeping Eddy." Ed stated. "Way to go Hemmingway, it was your part that put her to sleep." Eddy commented before he heard the monstrous neighing again. The Eds quickly apologized to each other and realized that they were stuck there for the night, so they did the next best thing: sleep. The next day the three boys finally busted out of the wall and spent the day bonding while patching up the wall.