//------------------------------// // The War Room // Story: The Olden World // by Czar_Yoshi //------------------------------// "Does my sight deceive me!?" Kero's beady eyes bugged wide as he noticed Valey hesitantly making her way down the opposite aisle, and quick as a flash he had crossed the midpoint and was at her side, bowing and waving to the assembled officials with a wing that somehow had its own sleeve on his suit. "Admiral Valey! So wonderful to see you survived that harrowing ordeal in Ironridge, truly, indeed!" From the seating, Maple blinked at Starlight and whispered in her ear. "Do all griffons talk this fancy, or is it just me?" "Yeah, uhhh..." Valey stood frozen, cringing as Kero draped a wing over her back and posed for the crowd, like he was getting photos with a famous dignitary. "Don't touch me. You and I have some unfinished business." Kero backed off, bowing again in his ridiculously prim suit. "Business, yes, business! We'll see to that very, very thoroughly, don't you fret! Very thoroughly. Our business. I just couldn't possibly go without letting you know and all the assembled that-" "Kero." Lord Stormhoof cut him off with a voice about two octaves lower than Kero's own squeaky one. "The council has placed a lot of trust in your accuracy and honesty, and harassing another witness does not bear well for your reputation. Leave Admiral Valey alone at once." "Harassment?" Kero's eyes widened, and his top hat slipped slightly to the side. "Good Garsheeva, Milord, I would never harass such a true, true hero! Merely conduct business. And finally give her the thanks she deserves for the tragic, thankless task of keeping Ironridge safe and in one piece! Why, if not for her, this terrible catastrophe could have happened so very long ago! All I wanted was to throw in a simple word on her behalf!" "A question for Kero, from the gallery!" the familiar voice of Prince Gazelle crowed, and Valey looked up to see him sitting next to Meltdown and some other sphinxes she presumed were Lord Stormhoof's family, rearing up and cupping his paws around his muzzle. "In his opinion, does wearing vertical stripes make him look fat?" "Enough!" Stormhoof's brow creased in anger, and the sound of a gavel striking wood cracked throughout the room. "I won't have a mockery be made of my cabinet! Witnesses, take your seats." He gestured to a row of chairs in front of the central podium. "Admiral Valey, is your history with Kero any of the military's business with regards to the situation in Ironridge?" Valey shrugged, watching with an inner spark of victory as Kero retreated to his chair. "I mean, sort of? You know the dude was a mercenary boss who worked for Herman, right? Right around the time he bailed, he sent his entire goon squad after my head. Mind you, I was the head honcho of Herman's own militia, so we should have been on the same side too. I did switch sides, though. I'm a good guy now." A scribe at Stormhoof's side furiously scratched away at a notepad, and the commanding sphinx exhaled. "Kero?" "Business as usual, oh, yes!" Kero stood up and brushed himself off with both suited wings. "For another client. Outside Ironridge. Whose information is mine and not yours to keep, on the honor of my profession!" He bowed deeply. "Yakyakistan's invasion came as that mission itself was being carried out! I realized then what a tragic, tragic error I had made in my choice of clients, forcing me to re-evaluate all existing contracts! I made the decision to suspend all existing business in the name of warning the world, and here is where I am now." He hung his head. "I know not even whether the fates of my band were horrible fates or generous ones. It keeps me up at night ever so much, even as I flew my flight in a tiny getaway ship all the way here, though of course Admiral Valey's was equally harrowing..." Valey glared at him. "Sure it was. Your dudes are all fine, and since you ditched them when the going got tough, now they've ditched you for Ironridge." Kero did a fine show of looking stricken, but by this point Starlight suspected he was acting. "Excuse me!" Gerardo interrupted, standing up. "Permission to take the floor? Something doesn't quite add up!" Stormhoof pointed at him, holding a wing out for silence. "Permission granted." "A tiny getaway ship, you say?" Gerardo seemed to puff up, as if he was a detective pursuing a hot lead. "Are you quite sure? You see, when I encountered your troops during the battle in the skyport, they had collectively made the decision without you to leave and abandon their jobs in Ironridge. However, the company airship they all used as a mobile base was missing, and also designed to be operated by a skeleton crew of one! Explain! You deliberately stranded your compatriots, did you not!?" "I what?" Kero looked just as surprised as before. Maybe it was genuine... "I and anyone else here can most certainly assure you that the airship I arrived on was a very, very small one! Yes, small indeed! And certainly not registered at all for transporting a crew of honorable, loyal mercenaries." "Gerardo...!" Maple frantically waved a hoof, trying to catch the floor's attention. "I thought we decided Howe and Neon Nova stole that ship?" "Request permission before speaking," Lord Stormhoof snorted. "Yo, that sounds kind of right, though," Valey added, backing Maple up with a wave of her hoof. "Pancake and Shades were super sleazy, right? I feel like that's what happened to me." Kero looked aghast, then outraged, his petite form quaking as his neck fluffed up and his cheeks puffed in anger. "What!? Those new recruits? Oooh, that makes me mad! Never trust a newcomer, ever! We have business, they and I..." His expression darkened. "Would you like to know how this makes me feel inside? Hmm!? Would you?" "No," Stormhoof replied, silencing him. "This has... General Gorgenheim." He pointed at a militarily-dressed griffon in the ranks of the crowd whose talon had been raised. "Thank you," Gorgenheim replied curtly. "Lord Stormhoof, I, and I feel I speak for many others, cannot follow any of this and have no idea what's going on, which is entirely counter to the point of this meeting." Stormhoof's gavel banged again. "Agreed. This topic of conversation is now closed! Witnesses, take your seats and do not speak without holding the floor. Break this again, and you will be removed from the council room and Meltdown will testify in your place, which will not be held in your favor. Have I made myself clear?" Everyone sat, Kero the last to do so, and Stormhoof exhaled. "Hrrmmmmm... Very well. Gerardo Guillaume, we shall begin with yours..." Hours passed of the same story being narrated over and over. Having lived it and then heard it once or twice, Starlight was beyond bored, and honestly considering falling asleep. "They're on the last one," Maple consoled, so softly that only she could hear it, rubbing her shoulder with a dusty brown hoof. "Then they'll talk about what to do, and maybe then we can go..." "Mrmmmph..." Starlight groaned into her shoulder, not listening as officials and generals began debating strategy and consequence. Every time she tried to listen, it was Ironridge, Ironridge, Ironridge, and she had had enough of that city for a lifetime. They should send ships with aid! But they didn't have any ships, and had just stolen a bunch from Varsidel! They should sail instead! But they couldn't make it up the waterfall, and all their remaining frigates were too big! They should do nothing whatsoever, because Yakyakistan would help first and they were already in too deep! But then they wouldn't get the Varsidelian ships or the Stormhoof troops on them home safely! Blah blah blah blah blah... At long last, the merciful bang of Stormhoof's gavel sounded in her ears. "Then it seems we have reached a consensus," he said over the rumbling of her stomach, and she uncurled and sat up with a hopefully-final stretch. "Are there any final questions or objections?" A paw went up from the sphinx box, and Stormhoof gave a long, defeated sigh. "Gazelle?" Gazelle turned his paw towards himself, studying the pads. "Why is it called Stormhoof when sphinxes have paws?" Lord Stormhoof's eye twitched. "Yes, I know!" Gazelle stood up, continuing before he had a chance to be cut off. "Don't make a mockery of your proceedings, Stormpaw. I'm perfectly aware." He began to pace down the aisle, closer to the central podium, eyes closed serenely. "However, now that we're done with the dreadfully important foreign matter of Ironridge, mockery is exactly what I'd like to talk about. Namely, someone making this very castle's defenses look frankly hilarious only last night. I'm sure you all remember." Stormhoof's eyes flashed, but Gazelle pre-empted him once again. "Yes, yes, before you start, that someone was me. I take full responsibility for all damage, headaches, and shortage of food due to fired chefs involved, except for any hypothetical marring of Geribaldi's reputation if anyone took photos of his reaction to the chaos and leaked them to the presses." Now Gazelle was glaring, pacing in circles around the podium with an intense grace that held everyone in the audience captive. "And I did it because I could! You realize the significance of that, don't you? If the crown jewel of the Empire's military might is a joke, you need to realize that and fix it before the citizenry realize it! You feel I'm making fun of your castle? Imagine how I feel about your ridiculous castle as a part of my little sister's future empire!" His face softened, tone going back to normal. "Ladies and gentlefelines, I do it because I care. Unfortunately, my subtly-expressed concerns failed to dissuade you from sending the vast majority and most elite of your forces on a journey on commandeered ships perhaps to the far ends of the world with no method of recall! You think heightened vigilance and a few extra patrols are enough? The actions and abilities of one pony say otherwise. Note in particular how she gave herself away in the very kitchens, placed herself in a position to effortlessly assassinate your heir, then settled down in the middle of a hallway to cook a gourd using a broken light fixture and it still took Meltdown for you imbeciles to clear her out!" He hissed, claws extended and scraping on the floor. "Do you understand my concern?" "You've made your point, Gazelle," Stormhoof said, pointing to his empty chair. "Be seated." A griffon in the audience was called on, and cleared her throat. "With all due respect, Milord, the High Prince has a point. I raised concerns myself with sending so much of Stormhoof's defense out of the province, since even though we'd be proactive in countering one threat, it could leave us vulnerable to threats from home." A stern-looking unicorn stallion took over. "What Prince Gazelle fails to notice is that the perceived vulnerability to threats doesn't matter if there are no threats in the first place! Stormhoof is secure and united under Garsheeva's divine will, with allies to our north and east and our armada advancing to the west! All these hypothetical invasions mean nothing." Valey raised a hoof, and Stormhoof called on her. "Hey, no offense, offensive dude..." She fixed her gaze on him. "But were you even paying attention to what happened? I'm not an army. I'm one single mare. And let me tell you, the way your city treats batponies, I'm utterly baffled none of them have tried this stuff before. Bananas, if I'd gone one more day getting kicked out of bars and creeped at by guards, I probably would have dumped your prince for a mile-high freefall! So yeah, you've got enemies." The audience looked thoroughly disconcerted by that, and even the unicorn had no reply. Another griffon spoke up, raising his voice above the murmuring: "What about Everlaste? Their budget for this year shows a threefold increase in military recruitment and training spending, and they doubled it the year before. If Stormhoof is perceived as weak or a target, this could be the early stages of a buildup designed to permanently capture our title." "Everlaste are our allies!" Stormhoof growled, once again dangerous. "Lest you've forgotten, my wife is Lord Everlaste's sister, and their buildup was both our idea and powered by our resources and expertise in response to the instability in Varsidel and the assassination of Gazelle's parents! If anything, this will end in them lending us troops to fortify our garrisons until our own armies return! Ours is a partnership that has lasted over six generations, and is not something to be forgotten lightly!" The griffonness who had spoken earlier cut back in. "Listen to Valey, though. Of all the provinces, isn't their reputation among sarosians the worst? Using her example, courting Everlaste troops as a show of strength and to reinforce our defenses could provoke exactly the kind of threats it is meant to guard against." "Hrrmmmmm..." Lord Stormhoof gave a low, frustrated sigh. "I had hoped last night's incident would be the second item on our agenda for the day. However, Gazelle's testimony seems to have needlessly inflamed the issue, and we won't make any headway before the hour of the scheduled press conference to discuss Ironridge. We will reconvene tomorrow at noon. Council adjourned!" Starlight gasped in relief, springing to her hooves and hoping her ears weren't taunting her. She was hungry, her throat was dry, her legs itched with unspent energy and she longed for a bathroom, and only the long line of griffons and ponies exiting the war room stood in her way. "Good job, Starlight." Maple leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "We made it. Now, I can't wait to find out about dinner..."