Sunset didn’t actively avoid the girls the next couple of days, but suspension still meant that she spent her breaks in suspension hall, and was only allowed to leave after everyone else had left, and so she didn’t see them all week. Rarity still texted her daily to check in on her, but other than that she was left to her own devices.
On Friday Sunset was glad that suspension was over. There was just too much time to think. To reconsider what had brought her there. Or everything else that wasn’t okay. No fun, not at all.
Yes, she was glad it was over. She quickly texted Rarity about her newfound freedom. But just as she pocketed her phone again she almost bumped into someone familiar. “Whoa!”
“Sunset Shimmer!” Flash Sentry exclaimed as he just barely avoided hitting her with his guitar case. “Still here?”
“You too?”
“Band practice.” He gave her an awkward smile. “Funny that I should meet you here. Maybe you can fill me in on something…”
“Fill you in? I basically missed everything this week.” Then she realized. “Oh. You mean... that girl.”
“I was kinda hoping to get a chance to talk to Twilight, but I kept missing her. How is she at CHS now?”
“Beats me,” Sunset replied.
“Wait, I thought you guys were friends.” Flash looked confused.
“It’s… complicated.” She sighed. Where should she even start to explain? “It’s actually a really long story…” She trailed off. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to talk about everything. About Twilight.
Flash gave her a strange look. Was he actually picking up on her mood? That boy… “You know what, why don’t you come over to my place? I just got Portal Kombat XIII, maybe we can order a pizza and just hang out, and talk. Or not, and we just beat the crap out of each other.”
“I guess you kinda deserve to know.” She gave him a lopsided smile. “Yeah, I’d like that. I’m not really in the mood to be alone tonight.”
“Cool! In this case, prepare to get your butt kicked!”
“You wish, newbie!”
***
“Eat this!” Sunset shouted as her character launched a seven hit combo on Flash’s, knocking him right out.
“Ouch!” Flash put down the controller. “You win, again.”
“Told ya. Is there any pizza left?” Flash pushed the carton over to Sunset who peeked inside. There were some slices left, and she picked one up. Chewing slowly she put away her controller. After a few bites she put down the slice and said, “You still wanna know about Twilight?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Promise you won’t get mad.”
“Um, okay. About what?”
“Twilight… the one you know, that is, not the one who’s started at CHS… she’s my…” Sunset took a deep breath. “We’re dating, she and I.”
“Wait, what? What is that supposed to mean, ‘not the one who’s started at CHS’? So that’s not Twilight?” Flash looked confused. Rightfully so, Sunset thought.
“Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she looks the same, but… she’s a whole different person from the Twilight you’ve met before. Bear with me, it’ll all start to make sense, I promise.”
“Um, okay. So there’s two Twilights, and one of them is a student at CHS, and you’re dating the other?” Sunset nodded, and Flash grinned at her. “Is that what I shouldn’t be mad about?” Sunset nodded again. “Why would I? If anything that’s kinda hot. You wouldn’t let me watch you make out some time, would you?” Sunset stared at him, dumbfounded. Then she burst into laughter. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had laughed this hard. Probably not for a long while.
Sunset wiped a tear from her eye, trying to catch her breath. “Flash, that’s—“ And then another fit of laughter hit her.
“I’m assuming that’s a no, then,” Flash said, smirking.
“It is,” Sunset said when she finally calmed down.
“Worth a shot. So, that other girl, the other Twilight, what’s she like?”
Sunset shrugged. “No idea. My only interaction with her so far was punching her in the face.”
“Any… particular reason?”
Sunset sighed. “You see, there used to be this magical portal…”
***
“… and now my Twilight is back in Equestria, and I’m stuck here,” Sunset finished.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Then Flash gave her a soft bump on the arm. “I’m sorry, Sunset. I guess I understand why you punched her. Can’t say she didn’t have it coming.”
“I guess.”
“Are you doing alright?”
Sunset shrugged. “Apart from occasionally beating up some random girl, I have no idea. It just sucks.”
“If there’s anything I can do to help you…”
She smiled at him. “This right here is actually really nice. Just hanging out, getting my mind off of stuff.”
“I could totally organize a cheerleader hit squad and have the other Twilight taken care of,” Flash offered with a fake grim expression.
Sunset chuckled. “I don’t need you to do my dirty work, rookie. Besides, I thought you were gonna hit on her next chance you get, anyway.”
“No way. There are limits. You don’t hit on a bro’s mortal enemy. That’s just not cool.”
Sunset’s phone buzzed. It was a text from Rarity. Congratulations on your freedom. The girls are meeting at my place for some movies tonight, would you like to join us? She quickly punched in a reply: Soz, can’t make it tonite, have fun!
Then she said, “Don’t hold yourself back on my account.” She snorted. “Bro.”
“Eh, there’s plenty of ponies in the pasture. If it isn’t cheerleaders who are attracted to my football jersey, or marching band girls who want to join my band, it’s some Samaritan trying to fix me after my traumatizing time with you.” He shrugged and gave her a surprisingly arrogant grin. “I can let this one slide, for a bro.”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Traumatized, huh?”
“Yeah, I’m basically the broken shell of the guy I used to be,” Flash joked. Sunset must have flinched at that because suddenly he became serious. “You know I’m joking, right? I told you we’re good. I’m not holding any grudges or whatever.”
“I still feel like I owe you an apology. Or an entire book of apologies.”
“Sunset, it’s alright, really.” Flash hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck. “It wasn’t all bad for me, y’know? The guys were super impressed when I scored you.” He shrugged. “I mean, yeah, sure, I was kinda hoping for more before you… before I realized it wasn’t gonna happen.” He shrugged again.
“So you’re not mad that she and I are…?”
“Well, since you’re not gonna let me watch…” he joked before turning serious again. “Seriously, I’m not. I took my shot, it didn’t work out, and that’s all there is.” He shrugged. “I mean, I guess I could start wearing black and writing super emotional poetry about my broken heart, but then again I’d rather just focus on those cheerleaders and marching band girls I have lined up, you know?”
Sunset snorted. “You’re laying it on pretty thick,” she said. “Since when are you such a cocky jock?”
Flash shrugged, grinning. “It’s kinda hard not to, what with those fawning cheerleaders. Besides, have you seen me play lately? I’m on fire!”
Another message from Rarity arrived. Won’t you reconsider, darling? It wouldn’t be the same without you, and we haven’t seen you all week. We were hoping to keep you from brooding. Sunset shook her head, but she smiled as she replied, No worries, I’m hanging w Flash Sentry & having a blast.
“I‘ve seen you getting all flustered around Twilight. I’m not buying it!”
Flash grinned and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I mean, y’know… I kinda wanted her to like me, so, uh…”
“I’m only teasing. I’m really glad that you’re okay. And not mad.”
“Eh, as I said, no point in my being mad. It won’t change what happened. All I’d achieve is make myself miserable over something I can’t change. And probably you and some others too. So what’s the point really.” He shrugged. “I guess I’d rather focus on the good stuff, you know?”
“Cheerleaders.”
“For example,” he grinned. “Or having a good time hanging out with a friend.”
“Even though you’re getting your ass kicked?”
“I’m learning. Studying your tricks. And I’ll come for you when you least expect it.”
“So how come you’re spending your Friday night like a gamer nerd anyway, and not going out with one of your cheerleaders?”
Flash shrugged. “Good things are better when they’re a rarity,” he said.
Sunset punched his arm. “Arrogant, much?”
“Just kidding,” Flash laughed. “Besides, what’s wrong about nerding out a little? This is fun.”
Rarity texted, Oh, how lovely, enjoy yourselves!
“And what about you?” Flash asked, nodding at her phone. “Social obligations?”
“Rarity checking in on me,” Sunset said with a wistful smile. It felt nice, and she knew the girls had gone out of their way to be there for her. But she still felt bad about how she had disappointed them. “They’re having a movie night and wanted me to come over.” She sounded way more dejected than she wanted to.
“And now you’re sad you’re stuck with me?” Flash teased.
“No, it’s…” Sunset hung her head. Blast Flash and his ability to pick up on her mood! “I’m not proud of myself for that thing when I beat up Twilight. It was right in front of them, and I was acting like…” Back in the days. She didn’t need to add it; she knew Flash would guess what she was referring to.
“And yet they still invite you over,” Flash observed.
“And I still feel like crap about it. They’ve really been trying to help me, and all I do is beat up the new girl.”
“Are you feel bad about it?” Flash asked. Sunset just nodded. “Then go over there and tell them, for crying out loud!” Flash snorted.
“You’re really annoying when you’re right,” Sunset grumbled.
“It’s my revenge for you beating me up in my own game over and over again.”
“So you just want to get rid of me.”
“You caught on to me. My perfect plan is ruined.”
Sunset laughed. “Not quite that perfect. Do you really think I should go?”
“Your call. I don’t mind you staying, I mean, this is fun, but I won’t be mad if you go.”
“Yeah… you’re probably right.” She sighed. “So annoying.”
“Then get outta here!”
***
Outside Rarity’s house Sunset hesitated for a few seconds. She still felt bad about most of what had happened this week, but standing outside the house and thinking of a fun night with her friends she realized how much she missed them. She had spent so much time with sitting at home alone and brooding and pushing the other girls away, and she really missed them.
But first, she owed them an apology. And probably a year’s worth of thanks.
Sunset took a deep breath before she rang the doorbell. It took a few moments before the door was opened.
“Sunset!” Rarity greeted her. “That’s quite the surprise! Didn’t you say you were with Flash Sentry tonight?”
“Yeah, I was, but I… I decided I’d rather spend the night with you girls.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “If the invitation still stands.”
“Of course it does!” Rarity said, regaining her composure. “Do come in! How nice that you could make it!”
Sunset followed her inside. The other girls were streaming out of the kitchen to welcome her, and Sunset realized just how happy she was to see them. Before she could even say hi she found herself in the center of another group hug.
“How’d suspension go?” Rainbow Dash asked when the girls let go.
“Eh, same old,” Sunset tried to wave it off. “Too much time to think. But I guess I can’t complain, huh.” She took off her shoes and followed the others into Rarity’s room.
“That was a somewhat… unexpected turn of events indeed,” Rarity said as they got comfortable on the bed and on Rarity’s red couch. It was a bit crowded with six people, but Sunset found it all the more enjoyable being wedged in on the bed between Rarity and Applejack. Fluttershy poured her a cup of jasmine tea.
“Yeah, we didn’t expect you to beat her up like that. The second you saw her it was like, bam, down she went,” Rainbow Dash said and punched in the air. “Kung-fu style!”
“I’m not exactly proud of that,” Sunset said dejectedly. “It’s just…”
“Hey, we understand,” Rainbow said. “She messed up the portal and caused… you know, everything. Heck, everybody would probably want to give her a solid beating after that.” She looked around at her friends. “Right?”
“It was an accident,” Rarity said. “She didn’t mean to destroy the portal.”
“And nearly run Twilight over,” Applejack added.
“Did she tell you that?” Sunset asked although she wasn’t really sure she wanted to know.
Rarity nodded. “We were curious about her story, so we had an interesting talk, and she told us quite a bit about what she was up to prior to the accident. It was a rather fascinating story, really. You see, she…”
Sunset put her hand on Rarity’s arm to stop her. “Sorry, but I don’t think I can deal with her story right now.”
“Of course, dear. My apologies, I was letting myself get carried away. May I just say, I believed her when she explained that it was an accident. And I think so did all of us, right, girls?” The others mumbled their agreement.
Sunset took a sip from her tea. “I know it was an accident. At least I think I do.” She put down her cup and placed her hand in front of her eyes. “That doesn’t mean all is fine. She still caused it, and I still blame her, even though it wasn’t on purpose.” Rarity took a breath in order to say something, but again Sunset interrupted her. “I know it won’t… it won’t do any good if I antagonize her. By which I mean… beat her up again. It won’t bring back Twilight or anything. It won’t even make me feel any better. But when I saw her face… heck, every time I see her face… her eyes…” She swallowed and hung her head.
Rarity put an arm around her shoulders. “She looks just like her, doesn’t she?”
“Uncanny, is what it is,” Applejack said.
Sunset nodded. “It’s not like I could ever confuse the two of them, but still… she looks just like Twilight, and I miss her so freaking much, and seeing her face… that looks like hers at any rate...” She sniffled. “Still not a reason to beat her up, I guess.”
“Punching really isn’t that nice,” Fluttershy said.
“It sure ain’t,” Applejack said. “but sometimes words just ain’t gonna cut it.”
“Mh-hmm!” Rainbow nodded. “Plus, she totally did wreck the portal, accident or no accident.” She turned to Sunset Shimmer. “So stop beatin’ yourself up about it. It’s totally normal what you did.”
“Um… not for everybody,” Fluttershy said. “I could never do that.”
“Me neither!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “I’d rather bake a tray of muffins.”
“That’s what you already did,” Rainbow deadpanned and pointed at the tray with the leftover muffins on Rarity’s desk. “That’s literally your solution to every problem.”
“It’s not a bad solution though,” Sunset said. “Definitely better than punching people. And you get muffins.”
“Seriously, stop beating yourself up!” Rainbow repeated. “It’s not the end of the world. She’s gonna live through it.”
“Just maybe don’t punch her again?” Fluttershy said.
“That’s not it,” Sunset murmured. She freed herself from Rarity’s embrace and leaned forward, resting her head on her knees.
“Huh?” Rainbow asked.
How could she explain to the others what was really worrying her? How could she tell them about that creeping feeling that she was returning to her old mean ways?
Did she even want to tell them this kind of thing?
What would they think of her?
But she needed to talk to somebody. She needed to tell somebody why she was feeling so bad about punching the other Twilight, despite what Rainbow and Applejack might say. She needed to share her fears with someone, get some support. She couldn’t take it all alone anymore, not on top of Twilight being gone and her whole life being in shambles.
“It’s something the old me would have done,” she said, not looking up. “Mess someone up because they wronged me in some way or another.”
“Yeah, true, you were ruthless,” Rainbow agreed.
“Yeah,” Sunset whispered. “I was. I was the kind of person who’d turn herself into a demon queen and try to enslave every last person on earth. That’s who I was.”
“But you aren’t anymore, dear,” Rarity hurried to reassure her. “You’ve changed!”
“I guess,” Sunset said. “I’ve changed, thanks to Twi. That moment when she pulled me out of the hole, that night of the Fall Formal… she changed me. She made it possible for me to change. To be nice to people. To have friends.” She hesitated, then added, “Before that night, before she reached out to me, I never would have thought I could even have friends.” She took a deep breath. “Anyway… now, after that thing with the other Twilight… I’m scared. I’m really scared.”
“What of?”
“I’m scared that I’m…” Sunset swallowed. “What if I’m changing back?”
“I’m certain that just because you, shall we say, slipped up that one time—“ Rarity started.
“It’s not just that though,” Sunset interrupted her. “When I was sitting in detention and I was thinking about it, I felt… I felt like I used to feel, before. Before Twilight showed up.” She closed her eyes. Now came the really nasty part. But she couldn’t hold back anymore. “I thought of her face, how she looked up at me, all fearful and crying, and with the blood, and I… I enjoyed it! It made me happy to remember her like that, lying in the dirt, hurting and bleeding and crying! And I wanted to do that to her again, and maybe even more, and the prospect made me happy too! It was like in the old days, when I ruled this place. When I would mess up some kids for standing in front of my locker or whatever else inane reasons, and I enjoyed it! I got right into it again. Into who I used to be.
“I know I used to be that terrible terrible person, and I’d like to think that I got better somehow, with Twi’s help, and yours, but… what if I’m not? What if I’m still that same… scum? What if I’ve just never changed? What if I just, I don’t know, somehow managed to fool everyone into thinking I’m a decent person now, and I’m really not, and I’m just going to continue hurting people wherever I go, and…” She took a shivering breath. “I don’t want to be that person anymore. I detest her! She wanted to hurt Twilight, and everypony else, and I don’t know how I could ever live with myself if I was still like that, and…”
She was interrupted by Rarity and Applejack pulling her into a hug. Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash all left their couch and hunkered down next to her on the bed, also joining the hug. “Darling, don’t ever think that of yourself again,” Rarity whispered.
“You are our friend, and you’re not scum,” Applejack said.
“We don’t make friends with scum, you know,” Rainbow chimed in.
“You’re not mean anymore,” Fluttershy said.
“You’re super-duper nice, and we like you a lot,” Pinkie Pie added.
“Guys, I…” Sunset couldn’t finish as suddenly her emotions overwhelmed her and she burst into tears mid-sentence. Facing her worst fears and actually sharing them had drained what little strength was left in her after weeks of trying to come to terms with the fact that Twilight was gone. And at the same time she tried to process that her friends didn’t think she was turning back into a monster. That they loved and supported her. It was all just too much.
She rested her head on Fluttershy’s shoulder as the sobs shook her uncontrollably and just let her friends hold her as she cried and tried, between wheezing breaths, to thank them for being there for her when she wasn’t even sure she deserved anyone being there for her. The others didn’t speak and just held her. Rarity rubbed her back.
An indeterminate time later her tears ebbed away and she raised her head again. Someone pushed a tissue into her hand, and she wiped her nose. Finally able to speak she murmured, “Thank you, guys.”
“Anytime, Sunset,” Fluttershy said and smiled at her. “We’ll always be there for you if you’re feeling sad.”
Sunset returned the smile. A fresh tear ran down her cheek. “I’m just gonna start crying again!”
“Sometimes you just gotta let it all out,” Applejack said.
“And afterwards there’s always a muffin to make you feel better!” Pinkie chimed in.
They laughed. Sunset laughed with them. It felt good. No, it felt amazing. All the fears and worries that had been eating her up were—not gone, she realized, but they had lost most of their power over her. Twilight was still lost for the time being, but she didn’t have to deal with that pain on her own. She was aware that her friends had been there this entire time, but being the idiot that she was she had been pushing them away instead of accepting their support.
And they weren’t mad at her. Instead they held her while she was crying like a baby. That almost made her start sobbing again. So instead she cleared her throat and said, “Thanks, really. I think I’m okay for now.”
“You’re very welcome,” Rarity said.
“Also, what Flutters said,” Rainbow Dash added. “Y’know, if you need someone to talk to or whatever.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Sunset said. “This time I will.” She picked up her forgotten jasmine tea and took a sip. It was still reasonably warm. “So, how about those movies?”
***
“Thanks again,” Sunset said, putting on her jacket. The others were getting ready to leave as well; after two movies and a lot of tea they were calling it a night.
“Don’t mention it,” Rarity said. She knew what Sunset was thanking her for. They probably all did.
“I guess I’ll just make sure to stay away from her in school,” Sunset mused. “I might need you girls for protection from myself.”
“Anytime, sugarcube.”
“I know it’s probably way too soon,” Fluttershy said, “but maybe it would help to talk to her.” She lowered her head, her hair falling into her face.
Sunset thought about that for a few moments. “Yeah, that’s probably right. I just don’t think I can. Not right now.”
“Um, that’s okay, I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off.
Sunset smiled and gently rubbed Fluttershy’s arm. “I know. I’ll start with not punching her, okay?” Fluttershy nodded.
Rainbow held out her fist for Sunset to bump it. “Take care, okay? And don’t forget, if you need to talk, or just blow off some steam on the track or whatever…”
On impulse Sunset hugged her. “Thanks, Rainbow, I appreciate that.” Before she could let go the others joined the group hug, and Sunset laughed. “You girls are the best!”
“We knoooooow!” Pinkie Pie cried.