//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Crashing Down The Rabbit Hole // Story: Does Faust Play Dice? // by herfaithfulstudent //------------------------------// Where am I? It's dark and I'm shivering my ass off, for some reason. I must have fallen asleep studying again. I realize I'm laying in dirt and can see a sliver of the moon and a few dim stars. Okay, I must have fallen asleep outside. Did I get drunk? I'm definitely naked, so I probably got drunk. But if I did, I don't remember going to a party or buying booze. I should probably get up and find my clothes before the campus police see me like this. I go to rub my eyes and I DON'T HAVE FINGERS! What the hell?! What happened to my hands?! What kind of engineer can I be without fingers? I quickly stand up, only to find myself falling over backwards. That actually hurt way less than I expected. I try to slow down and stop freaking out, which doesn’t work. I look down at myself and realize I have fur, a tail, and a really big... I'm dreaming that I'm a pony! That has to be it. I really should stop reading on Fimfiction before bed. I just need to slap myself and wake up. I use my new hooves to smack my face as hard as I can and motherfucker that hurt! There's a loud ringing sound and I definitely heard something crack. There's a cool wetness on my upper lip and I taste iron. Does that mean I'm not dreaming? What in the world happened, then? I stand up slowly, and on all fours this time. I'm still a bit dazed because of what might have happened to me and because of this broken nose. Snout? Whatever. After wiping most of the blood off my face, I reach my hand hoof up to my forehead and then look to my back. Oh, come on! If I had to become a pony, whether this is some freaky ultra realistic dream or not, why did I have to be an earth pony? Honestly, what's the point? I would’ve preferred staying a human. On more than a couple of occasions, I may have thought it would be cool to live in Equestria (which I assume is where I am) as a unicorn or pegasus. But I'd rather just live with ponies as a human, than be like this! A little annoyed, I try to walk. After stumbling a bit, I get the hang of it. I realize I'm in some big ditch. I have no idea how big a foot is, now that I'm a pony, but the ditch is about four times as long as my body and as deep as twice my height. It's shallow enough to climb out of without too much difficulty. Once I'm on flat ground, I look around and see a cluster of orange-yellow lights shimmering in the distance. It looks like the mirage of a city. I hope it's inhabited by ponies or some other friendly species; I really don't want to become barbeque for the citizens of some dragon settlement. There's a thin layer of snow covering the ground in every direction I see, but the ground in this ditch is clear, for some reason. This'll make it a little more difficult to get to the city, but I need to find civilization or I probably won't last more than a day in this cold. Not wanting to seem suspicious when I arrive there, I decide to come up with a more pony-sounding name. I have no idea what kind of name would be good, considering I don't know if I have a special talent, but I guess it doesn't matter that much. I look around for inspiration and only see the dirt and the stars. It reminds me of a character from a Greek myth I heard whose name might work. I leave the ditch and begin my trek toward the shimmering city when I hear a fluttering sound and feel a rush of wind. Then a pegasus swoops down in front of me and quickly moves a spear less than an inch from my neck. My heart pounds and I feel more blood gush from my nostrils. Based on the pegasus' muzzle and height, I think it's a mare. She’s about a head shorter than me and has metal armor on. The armor and spear make sure her stature doesn't take away from her intimidating factor. I feel like she could and, more importantly, would kill me if I make one wrong move. Her mane appears to be a pale blue, and her coat is either dark blue or black. It's hard to tell in this light. I can partly make out her face. Her eyes are locked on mine with a hard gaze that makes me freeze up. We're both very aware of the danger I'm in. “Who are you?” she snaps, making her spear shift more than I care for. Definitely a mare's voice. Cool. I always wondered if Celestia had mares and stallions in the Royal Guard. They all look the same in the show. The guard mare continues before I get the chance to respond. “Were you sent to spy on us?” “No!” I try to respond quickly before she cuts my throat. “I'm not a spy. I'm unarmed and defenseless. So is there any way you'd lower that spear?” She pulls back slightly, but keeps it pointed at me. It’s better, but I'm not sure she won't try to kill me in a minute. What I don't get is why she thinks I'm a threat. I don't have magic or weapons to attack with, and I don't have the wings to escape her. Also, what would I be spying on? We're both ponies. “I won’t kill you unless you give me a reason to. Now tell me who you are," the pegasus mare demands. “Astraeus,” I reply, praying that my name sounds believable. “Is that your full name?” she asks skeptically. I give a sharp nod. “I haven’t heard that name before, but I don’t know everypony in your tribe, Astraeus. You might be telling the truth.” She relaxes slightly and looks amused for some reason. “Also, it’s kind of interesting to meet somepony else with a one-word name; they’re not that common.” Thank God she believed me. And not being able to think of a second name looks like it's helped me win points with this mare. “Well, now that we've relaxed, would you mind telling me your name, Miss…?” She straightens and moves her spear away from my face to hold it vertically. It looks like some kind of guard stance. The pegasus simply replies, “Luna.” I'm stunned. It can't be that Luna. The moon-raising, star-painting, goddess-ruler-of-Equestria Princess Luna? This mare is smaller than me and doesn't even have a horn. I quickly move forward to close the distance between us. I have to get a better look at her and find out if… All at once, I realize two things. One familiar, and one different. I once again have the spear point at my neck. But this time, I'm on the ground, belly up, and this hornless Luna is standing above me. If she were a cute human girl, and there was less almost dying involved, the situation might be fun. But right now, the desire to keep my nose the only broken part of my body overpowers any less-than-pure thoughts. “Make another move like that, and it’ll be the last thing you do,” pegasus Luna growls. But then her features quickly shift to worry and she asks me something about my muzzle. I don't hear her. My gaze is fixed on her face. This is definitely Princess Luna. She must have used some kind of magic to hide her horn and change her mane and tail to look like a normal pony's. She actually looks like Luna after Nightmare Moon was destroyed by the Elements. I'm probably accidentally trespassing or something. That's why she thought I was a spy. Princess Luna, being the princess of the night, must’ve known I was here and come to stop me if I was a threat. It doesn't look like she knows I'm a human though, so who would I be spying for? The changelings? That must be it! I turn myself right-side-up, but keep my body pressed against the snow in prostration. I don't want to break formality and insult her. Even if she doesn't kill me, I really don't want to piss off the second most powerful pony in the world. “Your Highness, it's an honor to meet you. I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you. Please, forgive me. I mean you no disrespect or harm, and seek your help, if you'll grant it.” Before responding, the disguised Princess snorts either in amusement or anger for some reason. “I know I’m not a high ranking officer, but I can still apprehend you myself if I have to. Or do something worse… Got it?” I gulp and then manage a “Y-yes.” What was that? Maybe Luna doesn't want me to talk about her being a princess while she's disguised. It could blow her cover if she wants to keep up the act. But if she was willing to tell me who she was, why would she need the disguise? Are we somewhere dangerous right now? Before I can figure out what’s going on, Luna frowns and announces in a commanding voice, “I’m going to bring you to a pony who can tell me who you really are. I can’t let you go free until then.” Then, with a softer tone, she adds, “She can also heal your muzzle, if she chooses to.” I decide to focus on what the Princess just said and then ask her about the disguise once she warms up to me. “Who is this mystery pony, Luna?” The mare lets out a small laugh. “No one mysterious. Celestia’s a mage you, and most likely everypony of all three tribes, have at least heard of.” “Oh, well why didn't you just say you were taking me to your sister? She might be able to…” All of a sudden, Luna tackles me to the ground. One of her hooves holds the spear’s sharp point against my neck. I feel it press against my new fur and skin, threatening to draw blood if either of us moves the wrong way. My nose throbs in time with my quickening heartbeat. “Who told you about my sister?” Luna snaps while keeping her voice low. “What are you talking about?” Something's definitely wrong with the Night Princess. “No one alive, except for the current archmage and her predecessor, is supposed to know about me and Celestia! It could get us exiled or executed. We’d be tried for treason and there’s no way the archmage could protect us from that!” She says the words with an intense certainty and fear in her eyes. I don't think this is all for a disguise anymore. Luna is genuinely scared, and I have no idea why. She should be powerful enough to destroy any non season opener or finale type threat by herself. But what if she's not Princess Luna somehow? I speak so quietly that only the dark blue pegasus can hear, “Luna, I swear not to tell anyone about you and Celestia,” knowing that her not believing me could easily mean death. “But I have to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me. Who are you?” She relaxes slightly but doesn't move the spear. “You already know my name. I’m just a low ranking soldier for the pegasus military, who usually serves as a messenger. And I have no family except my sister,” she whispers. “Something I keep secret for obvious reasons. Why do you care?” Pegasus military? Wait, she mentioned tribes before. What if… “Does the word, ‘Equestria,’ mean anything to you?” With an annoyed frown, Luna says, “No. And stop stalling. You're just trying to distract me.” She tightens her grip on the spear. “Now answer my question, Astraeus! How do you know about my sister?” What's going on? Is this not the MLP universe? Did I get sent to a time period before Luna became an alicorn, or is this some kind of alternate dimension? I have to figure this out, but first I have more important things to deal with. Namely, convincing the non-princess Luna not to kill me. I feel the spear tip shift against my throat and I try to think of something fast. If the princesses being sisters isn't common knowledge, why would I know? “Visions!” I blurt out. “I get visions of certain events. They give me information I wouldn't know otherwise. It's my special talent.” What am I thinking? “I saw you and Celestia together playing as foals and I sensed that you two were sisters.” If she believed my name, maybe she'll believe this. “You're lying.” Fuck! “You think you're the first pony who’s claimed they have some kind of spiritual knowledge? But every time, they fail to prove that their gift is real. You could probably convince Celestia with that lie, but I won’t believe something just because somepony claims it’s divine like my sister would.” I really shouldn't have gone with ‘visions of the future’ as my explanation. “But it doesn’t matter; once she probes your mind, I’ll know exactly what you’re hiding.” “Wait, she's going to read my mind?” I say worriedly. So much for Celestia believing my lie. “That is how potential spies are dealt with by unicorns,” Luna replies, as though it's something a child should know. “Unless, you prefer the pegasus method…” Her tone, along with hearing about human torture methods, tells me all I need to know about the non-magic way of getting information. “Really, you should consider yourself lucky that I found you. Nopony else on patrol would be able to get you to see Celestia or the archmage. “No no, mind reading, love it!” She keeps separating unicorns and pegasi. She mentioned three tribes… What if this is during the times before Equestria's founding from that Hearth’s Warming play episode? “I just need to ask you one more question. Do you know the name, ‘Clover the Clever?’” Luna looks annoyed. “If you’re here to gather information on my people, you should really become a better actor. You ask stupid questions, and then you know things you shouldn’t. But if it will shut you up, yes, I know her. She’s the archmage, my sister's teacher… and also somepony I owe a lot to.” Luna adds that last part almost to herself. So I was right; I traveled to ancient Equestria! This is amazing, and also terrifying! Isn't this supposed to be during the time of a famine? Does that mean windigos are causing this snow, or is it just normal winter right now? Luna continues, snapping me out of my thoughts. “But that’s enough stalling; we have to start heading to the unicorns’ castle. It’s a good distance away, and I need to return to my post before sunrise.” She removes her spear, allowing me to stand upright. I realize this is probably the best situation for me. Clover the Clever and Celestia can probably easily send me home. Even if my guess is right and Celestia’s just a unicorn, she should still be powerful. Luna said Clover was the archmage, and Celestia was her student. The two of them probably know more about magic than anyone else. Except maybe Discord and any other freaky magic spirits, but I probably shouldn’t ask them to send me home. Getting the unicorns to believe me won't be an issue because they'll just read my mind. I could be back home tonight! “Okay Luna, let's go visit the unicorns,” I reply cheerily. She looks at me suspiciously and then flaps her wings slowly to hover behind me. Luna motions for me to start walking as she keeps her spear at the ready. She thinks I'm planning something, I realize. She's not wrong, but it's just to get Celestia to send me home; nothing like spying. Once we start heading toward the castle, what I thought was a city, Luna starts talking again. “Now that you’re out of questions, tell me how you flew so high, earth pony. And if you're lying, I’ll find out eventually.” “What do you mean, ‘flew?’” I ask. “I saw you fall when I was mapping the night sky,” Luna answers, almost sounding embarrassed for some reason. “I actually came because I thought you were a fallen star.” “Are you saying I fell from the sky?” I don’t remember feeling an impact before I woke up, but whatever magic brought me to this world must have been able to cushion a fall and knock me out. “Unless you ran into this crater immediately after the impact, I’m positive. I got here right after the explosion and saw you unconscious. I would’ve assumed you were dead if you didn’t wake up right after I arrived.” “Crater?” I look back at the ditch I woke up in and my eyes widen. I guess that explains why there wasn't any snow in it. Luna just looks at my expression curiously. “Did you actually not realize what happened?” Worry replaces the smallest fraction of her suspicion. “Or maybe you hit yourself too hard when you first woke up.” I don't know what to say, so I continue walking to our destination with Luna following closely behind. I wrestle with what to tell her and she remains silent, waiting for me. I do need Celestia and Clover the Clever's help to get home, so I'll have to tell them who I am. I might as well tell Luna the truth too. But I really should avoid impacting this world as much as possible. Even if I'll be leaving it soon, I don't want to do something that ruins this world's future, like stopping Luna and Celestia from becoming Princesses. I decide that if Celestia finds out who I am from reading my thoughts, she'll probably tell Luna anyway. “Okay, I'll come clean.” “So you admit you were sent to spy on the pegasi!” Luna accuses as she quickly moves to hover in front of me. “Did the unicorns help you fly in the air?!” “What? No!” I quickly respond before she can tackle me to the ground again. “But I was lying about how I knew Celestia was your sister.” I take a deep nervous breath and stare at my new forehooves. “The truth is, I'm from a different world and you found me when I first became a pony. I don't know how it happened, but in my world there are…” How do I explain this? “records of you and your sister, along with a few events in your futures. That's how I knew who Clover the Clever was without knowing she was the archmage.” She finally knows. I look up at Luna to gauge her reaction. It's probably almost as much for her to take in as it is for me. She sighs and looks disappointed. “I really thought you’d be done lying. It would have made our journey much nicer.” “No! It's the truth, I swear! Once Celestia reads my mind, she can vouch for me.” Damn, I thought she'd believe me. But I guess I wouldn't believe me either if I were her. “It’s okay. I understand the need to keep secrets more than most ponies, and I don’t consider you evil for doing what you have to,” Luna says solemnly. “I’ll let Celestia judge your honesty, but until then, I won’t believe you without proof.” “I knew about Celestia and fell from the sky,” I demand. “What more proof do you want?” “That just tells me you learned one secret and probably hired a unicorn or pegasus to help you fly,” she responds cooly. “The fact that you survived the fall probably means you were helped by some kind of magic, but that doesn’t mean you came from another world. Especially one where, somehow, my future and secrets are on display. I haven’t seen anything that proves somepony’s destiny is sealed, aside from cutie marks, and those don’t force us to do anything. But the impossible visions you say you have is… time travel magic!” The way Luna said ‘time travel magic' made it seem like she hates the idea, even though she thinks it’s not possible. I figure it's a bad idea to correct her, more for my personal safety than because it could ruin her timeline. But I do make a mental note to ask Celestia what that was all about when I meet her. Our journey continues in silence after that. Luna now flies next me, and I occasionally sneak glances at her mostly to confirm that I haven't dreamt all of this up. I notice her strange armor. It looks like iron with a matte finish, probably to go with her coat and cutie mark. It almost makes her look like an adorable Nightmare Moon with how small she is. The armor also seems to be lined with cloth that sticks out at the joints. Luna catches me staring and glares down at me. “Don’t think about trying anything. Remember which one of us has the bigger spear.” “I-I was just wondering why there was so much cloth in your armor,” I stammer. I'm a little taken aback by her implication and the innuendo in her threat, especially since they were coming from a pony princess of a children's TV show. Luna turns away quickly and doesn’t meet my gaze when she responds. “The cloth is to help keep me warm.” If it weren't nighttime, I bet I would see her blushing. “Sorry for my suggestion… I assumed the worst.” At least she believed me that time. She might not be a princess yet, but I really don't want her to blast me with magic the moment she ascends because she thought I was trying to get in her pants under her tail. “No problem,” I reply casually. Trying to move to a lighter subject, “And I understand needing to keep this cold away, it's freezing.” As if thinking about it made my internal temperature drop, I let out an involuntary shiver. “Oh, I’m so sorry Astraeus!” Luna says quickly as she lands and reaches into her saddlebags. “You might be my captive, but I should’ve made sure you were in a good enough condition to walk before we started.” She hands me a large, black bundle of fabric and a single unadorned pin attached to a horseshoe shaped piece of metal. I take the fabric in my mouth and try to figure out how to get it on my back. “Sorry I don’t have any food for you, but I’m sure Celestia will feed you when we get to the castle.” I nod once as I try to use my hooves to put on what I now realize is a hooded cloak. It keeps falling to the ground and Luna just stares as she continues to hold the pin for me. “You really listened to my advice about being a more convincing spy. You look like a foal, or a unicorn forced to use their mouth and hooves.” I don't argue, and Luna goes along with what she still seems to think is an act. She takes the cloth in her mouth and throws it over my back. She then clasps it shut with her mouth and hooves. When she's done bringing the hood down, Luna realizes her face less than a hoof's length from mine. She quickly pulls away and pretends to look at the unicorn castle, which is now clearly visible. “Thanks, Luna.” I smile at her, trying to help her relax. “It's really warm.” The cloak is thick and made of wool, which does a great job of keeping the wind and cold away. “Of course. Sorry for not offering it sooner.” Luna turns around to look at me and then lets out a small laugh. I think this is the first time I’ve seen her smile. She looks nice when she’s not accusing me of crimes I didn’t commit. “What is it?” I look around to try and see what’s so funny. “My cloak is way too small for an earth pony stallion your size. You should probably take it off before we get to the gates if you don’t want to look silly.” She looks off in thought for a moment. “And keeping your face uncovered might help us get into the castle…” “What do you mean?” I ask in confusion. “I’ll tell you on the way!” She says with a grin. And just like that, we're on the move again. As Luna hovers next to me and explains her plan, I feel like even if she doesn't trust me at all, she seems to want to kill me a lot less than before. I consider that progress!