//------------------------------// // S2E4: Love Poison No. 9 // Story: The Starlight & Pals Magical Half Hour // by Cold in Gardez //------------------------------// “...and it was in that vital moment Ginger Gypsy realized her mask, the carefully schooled edifice of flesh and bone that she had trained for years to guard the secrets of her heart, had at last betrayed her. That those were tears leaving hot trails down her cheeks; that her lips, so long practiced to sneer in derision, now curled in pain. ‘Goodbye,’ she whispered, though she knew Buttercup had long passed beyond the sound of her voice. ‘Goodbye.’” So saying, Twilight Sparkle turned the last page of 45 Reasons Why and closed the book, setting it gently on the coffee table in front of the couch. After a moment she lifted her glass of wine for another long sip. “Wow,” Starlight Glimmer said. She lay across the couch’s other cushion, reclining against the armrest with her legs curled loosely beneath her barrel. Her own glass of wine floated somewhat unsteadily beside her, swimming through the air in time with her attention. “I mean, it’s a little, you know, over-dramatic, maybe,” she paused for another sip and cleared her throat. “It kinda hits you right here, you know? That place in your chest where you feel things.” “Your heart?” “Yeah, that’s it.” Starlight finished off her glass and concentrated hard on setting it down on the table, where several empty bottles stood guard over it. A magnum of Reisling, still half-full, filled the air with a heady, fruity scent. She very carefully lifted it and splashed a bit in her glass. Apricots assaulted her nose. “More?” “Uh.” Twilight considered her options, which seemed at this point to consist of varying levels of being drunk. Since she’d already crossed that bridge, there didn’t seem like much reason to stop now. “Sure. Not… not too much, though.” Starlight giggled at something. “Okay, princess. Just a smidge for her highness.” “Stop that.” Twilight batted at Starlight’s tail and giggled herself. She couldn’t help it – she was in a giggly mood. That realization brought on a moment of introspection, followed almost immediately by a touch of the melancholy drifting that so often afflicted her in times of deep thought. She shook her head to banish the feeling and nearly tipped out of her seat. “So, what did you think?” Starlight asked. She apparently didn’t notice Twilight’s attempts to capsize their couch. “Oh, um.” Twilight blinked rapidly and focused on the book. “Well, for a romance novel, it seemed to flout some of the major conventions of the genre. Aren’t… aren’t the lovers supposed to end up together at the end? But that didn’t happen. Instead they just drifted away.” “I think they failed the author’s test. If they deserved a happy ending, they should’ve earned it, but they didn’t. Ginger Gypsy couldn’t open up and be honest, and Buttercup was too concerned with her own dreams.” “And Ginger Gypsy realized it too late.” Twilight licked her lips. They were sweet with the residue of the wine. “That… that’s the worst thing, I think. That she realized, at the end, what she could’ve had.” “Yeah.” Starlight stared into her glass, as though some secret swam beneath the surface. “Did… have you ever felt like that?” “I, uh.” Twilight cleared her throat. No. Of course not. That’s silly. “Yes,” she blurted out. As soon as the word escaped she gasped, as if to draw it back in, but by then Starlight’s ears had already perked up to full attention. “...really?” Well, too late to back out now. “I mean, sort of. It was just a crush! A silly filly thing. Stupid, really. Why, to think!” She forced out a laugh. “It’s not silly.” Starlight took another long sip and closed her eyes. “It was Celestia, wasn’t it?” Emergency! Abort! Abort! Twilight swallowed. Finally, she nodded. “I figured.” Starlight mumbled. “She’s perfect. So wise and kind and beautiful and, uh, perfect. It’s common for students to have crushes on their teachers, you know. Unreq… unrequited feelings.” “It’s still silly.” Twilight took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. “What about you?” “Oh, um.” Starlight studied her wine intently. “I’ve, uh, had relations before, but love? No. No time for love when you’re conquering the world, right? Ha ha.” “Really?” Twilight scooted a bit closer and set her hoof on Starlight’s. “You mean you’ve never felt anything for somepony?” Starlight’s eyes fixed on Twilight’s hoof, and for a long moment she stared at it in silence. Finally, she jerked back to the present. “Well, uh… since you mention it…” “Yes?” Twilight leaned forward. “There is one pon— mare, who I’ve, uh, had feelings for. She’s so smart and kind and perfect, but she could never love me. How could anypony love me?” “Starlight!” Twilight’s voice cracked like a whip. “Don’t you dare say such a thing! You deserve love just as much as anypony! You’re smart, and funny, and being around you makes me, uh, feel like I need to be better. That’s… uh, lots of ponies could find that attractive!” “But I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m not a nice pony. I’m not—” “Shh.” Twilight silenced her with the tip of her hoof on Starlight’s lips. Her aim was a bit off so she kind of smooshed them a bit, but the effect was the same. “Starlight, you… you’re perfect just the way you are. You try harder than anypony I know to be good. And that… I…” Starlight grasped Twilight’s hoof. “Yes?” “Well, I mean, I’m just saying, like, hypothetically, um, if we were alone on an island—” “Oh for fuck’s sake, just kiss already,” Rainbow Dash said. She finished off her half-full glass in one chug. “Fuck. It’s like watching balloon animals try to have sex.” “That’s it, I’m cutting you off,” Rarity said. She floated Dash’s glass and the nearest two bottles of wine away. “You have to let them move at their own pace. Besides, I think they’re cute like this. Also, language, darling. Fluttershy is with us.” “I’ll language you.” “Sorry, Rares, I gotta side with Dash on this one,” Applejack said. “These two’re just gonna sit next to each other and blush and stammer ‘til judgement day at this rate.” “Hey, we’re right here,” Starlight said. “Sometimes I have to help my little woodland critters find the right mate,” Fluttershy said. She’d acquired Applejack’s stetson at some point, and wore it so low on her head that it concealed everything but the tip of her muzzle. “They’re not all smart enough to do it themselves.” “Okay, first off, Starlight and I are not woodland critters,” Twilight said. “Second, why are we the focus here? None of you have special someponies.” “Maaaaybe you’re just fun to tease,” Pinkie Pie offered. “Or maybe we’re all so afraid of our own lack of relationships that we hope by focusing on you to distract ourselves from the slow, impending realization that every year we grow older but never seem any closer to achieving the markers of adulthood that our parents’ generation mastered so easily and who now expect us to follow in their hoofsteps despite all the complications of modern life that make marriage, home ownership and parenthood so much harder to achieve.” “Hey, have you met my parents?” Dash said. She eyed her stolen glass, now cradled in Rarity's hooves, like a slightly drunken hawk. “Okay, listen,” Twilight said. She rose to her hooves, wobbled a bit, and held her wings out for balance. “I’m only going to say this once.” There was a pause while she sorted out her thoughts. And then she threw up all over the coffee table.