Luna briefly surveyed the interior of Sombra's pocket dimension, noting all the minor changes that had taken place since she had last seen it - when it was anchored to the interior of the Sky Scraper and-
A sudden rustling noise directed her attention elsewhere, to the tree-like äerint shelves that supported all the books Sombra had in his collection, which numbered in the hundreds. Against the 'trunks' of them, large scrolls that couldn't be anything other than the large maps that she recalled giving him a while ago leaned, waiting to be used again.
Swords - they were few and number, but Luna didn't bother to count all the blades that made up Sombra's small stash of weapons. Sombra would show them to her soon enough - he did say that he had a surprise to show her, after all and that it was impressive enough for him to finally invite her over. It wasn't that Luna didn't think shoplifting things in disguise or going to parks, libraries, and seeing the sights of Canterlot were bad dates - the times when she was able to share a few hours with Sombra were her favorite parts of the day.
But what was the surprise? She took a closer look at her lover's - the modern 'coltfriend' never felt like it described the bond they shared as well as the more familiar 'lover' did - home and noted every minor change since she had last seen the place.
Blankets were still scattered about, though now they were piled on a bare mattress instead of the gray crystal ground that stretched far off into the distance, blurring until it indistinct as she looked onward, to where no furnishings lay.
Sombra had also added a very nice desk - the insignia and scratch marks it bore told how Sombra likely obtained it by breaking into an airship that had been docked at an opportune time - which was covered with many small piles of books and papers - the latter of which also stuck out of the many drawers the piece had. Cups of pens, pencils, a protractor and a few other tools that were certainly not surprising for Sombra to have were circled by paper gliders that rode nearly transparent clouds of crimson aura, flying lazily about like little birds. Yet, they were in plain sight... so those couldn't be the surprise, nor was the swivel chair that sat unoccupied.
Finally, Luna turned her gaze to Sombra himself, who stood in the center of the rather marginal portion of the pocket dimension that his living space occupied - it was equal to the layout of three studio apartments in Canterlot, only lacking walls and a ceiling.
She looks at Sombra, and raises a single questioning eyebrow. Where was this surprise?
Sombra simply smirked and took another bite of the apple he was eating. It was a silent suggestion that she look around again, and just as Luna was about to, she caught him wink at her and smirk again, clearly anticipating something.
Unable to resist a smile, Luna winked back and stuck her tongue out, laughing when he rolled his eyes and returned to what was likely his entire lunch - that single apple.
But she saw where his eyes flicked - a little structure of äerint that looked as though it made a nice table for one, complete with an obvious hasty second addition in the form of a complimentary pile of äerint that leveled off and made the pseudo-table fit for two, presuming the meal was modest.
Luna's eyes landed on the trash can, and it was rather hard not to notice the lidless metal container stuffed with plastic salad containers and singed pizza boxes. Propped against the jagged, but thankfully safe, side of Sombra's table was a box of plastic sporks. She knew this to be the only silverware Sombra owned other than the swords - yes, the swords - which Sombra had always insisted were nature's knives.
Those weren't what interested Luna. On top of the table was a box that had yet to be opened - it wasn't even very big either.
She looked back to him. "You couldn't possibly have fit dinner in those, the packaging isn't right. Did you honestly order something?"
"I did," Sombra confirmed, flashing her a sly smile. "In fact, I even paid for it."
"With stolen money."
"Since when do I pay for goods with anything else?" There was the small, silly smirk that he gave only to her.
"Indeed," Luna said. She felt herself smile, but her gaze instantly went back to the box. "Is this surprise specifically for me? Or is it just some amusing thing you found and wanted to show me?"
"It's for us," Sombra replied between a mouthful of apple and a painfully enigmatic smirk that told her so very little other than he knew something she didn't.
She teleported to the box as soon as that smirk had burned itself into her memory.
Her horn lit up with turquoise magic that began to shape itself into a blade-like shape that cast peculiar shadows across the cardboard - but it also illuminated a label and on it, she read the word 'plates' among everything else.
"Sombra!" Luna gasped excitedly. "You bought plates? Are you going to cook for me?"
"You can bet you're divinity that I will. Wouldn't have got them for anypony but you. They're real nice too."
"Nice how?" Luna asked, shooting Sombra a questioning look while her magic still blazed, hissing a bit as though it were curious about the contents of the box too.
"As in they won't break."
Luna gave Sombra a wide, cheerful smile. "Oh, that's splendid! You have finally obtained something more durable and nicer than paper plates to eat off of."
"Paper plates are easy to shoplift," Sombra grumbled.
"And they are also rather juvenile in my opinion. Sombra finally bought grown up plates!"
Whirling back around from looking at her grumpy demon lover, Luna gleefully dug her magic into the tape on the box and from the plastic she withdrew-
"Sombra, what exactly are these?"
Grasped in Luna's magic was a small plastic plate with a surprisingly colorful bee on it, that had a beady, dead-eyed stare and a smile that begged for the mercy of oblivion. It was very cute.
"The plates," he deadpanned.
"Sombra," Luna said, carefully enunciating his name as though it needed to be drawn out for scolding. "These plates are for foals."
Sombra looked at her and quietly took another bite of the apple, before burning the core to cinders that fell to the floor and were suddenly the loudest sound in the ominous silence that hung between the two gods.
"Why did you purchase these?" Each word was said quickly, tersely, and with contempt.
"Do you really have a problem with them? They're good plates." Sombra fixed her with a level glare.
"Sombra, once again, do I need to remind you that these are for children? Which is something we are not?" With the first word of disdainful emphasis, she stomped her forehoof slightly, and with the second, she thrust the offending object in his direction a bit.
"Good. Quality. Plates," Sombra spat through gritted teeth, his tone laced with a slight growl.
"They are utterly ridiculous in every way. Why would you waste money you stole on something so... underwhelming."
"They're our gods-damned plates and if you don't like them, you can just complain to Celestia about them. Maybe you and her can pass a mandate on which kind of dinner plates are allowed to which age group-"
"That is absurd!"
"So is this argument! And your sister!"
"These plates are stupid," Luna huffed, "and please leave my sister out of this particular spat. But these plates... they really re rather silly, Sombra."
"I'm a grown demon, I'll buy and steal whatever the fuck I want."
"Is it really necessary to slip into such outdated vulgarities, hmm?"
Sombra scrunched up his muzzle. "What if it is?"
"Oh? You are not going to make the 'grown demon' argument again?" Luna sneered slightly.
Sombra narrowed his eyes in response and the pocket dimension grew deathly quiet. Even Luna's magical grip on the plate wavered for a moment.
"Fight me," he whispered, just loud enough for Luna to hear over the tension building in the air that practically buzzed between them.
And it turns out that Sombra was right, the plates didn't break.