Twilight Sparkle allowed herself to be led through the command center by a lisping, rather fabulous pegasus stallion who wore a great deal of mascara, with his coat and wings dusted with glitter. This was Las Pegasus; of course there would be glittery, lisping, fabulous stallions. It was all part of a wonderful experience that showcased the treasured jewel of diversity that was this city.
The command center was filled with harried, frantic ponies, the movers and shakers who worked behind the scenes to make an event such as this one possible. Everything would be filmed, the footage edited, and a series of films would be shown in theatres across the country. Contestants had to be managed, requisition forms with exotic ingredients had to be fulfilled, and there were a thousand things that could go wrong at any given moment. Somehow, the command center staff ensured that the show would go on.
While passing through the crowd, Twilight could not help but notice that most of them were unicorns. Of course they were unicorns—they had to be unicorns. You got more done with telekinesis than you did clumsy hooves. Even as she understood the necessity of it, she also hated it, she hated that it was, in fact, necessity. These weren’t even particularly magical unicorns. Her magic sense told her that the power levels at work here were barely even registerable.
The event had grown to such proportions that earth ponies alone could no longer manage it. Biting her lip to the point of causing herself pain, she studied the swarm of workers around her and took note of every earth pony she saw—of which there were relatively few. They pulled carts, moved goods, and hauled heavy camera cases around, things too heavy for weak unicorns to lift with telekinesis.
One question came to mind: was this what harmony looked like?
Unicorns naturally gravitated towards things that required fine manipulation, something that seemed sensible and normal, until one realised the sheer number of things that required fine manipulation in modern, industrialised society. This included baking, which had moved out of the agrarian kitchen and into the sleek, ultra-modern, shiny-and-decked-out-with-chrome kitchens of tomorrow. While many of these appliances and devices benefited earth ponies, they were fine-tuned with the efficiency of a unicorn in mind. The design aesthetic of the present demanded a sleek, efficient product, and anything catering to a hooves-on approach was added as an afterthought, or sold as an ‘old-fashioned’ model that was ugly and outdated beyond belief.
There was something here, some great thought waiting to come to light, but Twilight found herself standing before a door. The fabulous, glittery pegasus was already sashaying off and she watched him strut away out of the corner of her eye. She took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself to deal with what was sure to be a trying encounter, and the last thought that she had before she passed through the door was if she was actually depressed.
One of the major symptoms of depression was doubt.
This office… was empty. It was just a space, a place where whatever director or pony in charge would work from, and with the constant change in venues, this office had no doubt seen many residents. A generic but officious desk was the focus of the room—a Princess Desk worthy of the Princess Suite. Executive power fantasy desk #7, which paired well with executive power fantasy chair #5 for a stunning look that was sure to impress your inferiours. Except… it really failed to impress. Whatever imposing, imperious demeanour the desk wanted to project, the overall effect was ruined by just how generic and mass-produced it was.
Bourgogne Blintz stood by a window, staring out at the city. She had not turned around, she had offered no greeting—formal or otherwise—and had made no acknowledgement whatsoever that Twilight had entered the room. The overall result of doing so was chilling and Twilight was inclined to believe that it was okay—justified even—to dislike this mare.
“I feel as though I owe you an apology,” Bourgogne Blintz said at last, but doing so without turning around to face Twilight. “You saw a dreadful side of me. Awful, but necessary. A calculated move on my part to understand the world around me.”
Twilight, alone, chose silence as her ally.
“I intentionally use bombastic language and my phrasings are carefully formulated by a team of in-house psychologists and sociologists to be as antagonistic as equinely possible. I do this so I know exactly what sort of pony I’m dealing with. With a bit of bull-baiting, I can get a pony to show their true colours and establish control over any situation I am required to deal with.”
Bourgogne Blintz drew in a deep breath, held it for a time, and let it out in a slow, calming exhale that Twilight recognised: it was the same method that Cadance taught. Hearing it—and seeing it—along with what was just said caused alarm bells to ring throughout Twilight’s mind. It went without saying that she had to be careful, and she raised her guard.
Silence continued to be her ally.
“Your friends are weak-willed, Princess Sparkle. They allow themselves to be defeated by mere language. They willingly and gleefully relinquish all power in a situation for the sake of their imagined righteous cause—a cause they have no business fighting. This requires discipline… you send a soldier to fight a war… and your friends are not soldiers. They are utterly gutless and easily led along by the nose. But you… you show potential. You show discipline. You withheld your reaction, very much like you are doing right now, even as I say words that I know are hurting you. Impressive.”
In this moment, Twilight saw a dreadful side to all of Cadance’s efforts to advance the cause of psychology. No doubt, Miss Blintz was abreast on all of the current issues and had understanding of all of the methods pioneered by Cadance’s vast network of scholars and researchers. Cadance did what she did to heal others, to make lives better. Bourgogne Blintz had weaponised it… which meant that others would do the same, if they hadn’t already.
“To know me, you have to understand me. My motivations.” Bourgogne Blintz turned away from the window and for the first time, looked Twilight in the eye. “I’m no mindless, monologuing villain, Princess Sparkle. I am many things, to many different ponies, but I assure you, we’re fighting on the same side.”
An eyebrow lifted and Twilight’s ears pivoted forwards.
“I came to this country as an immigrant, as many do. I was a girl… a filly. I arrived at the tender age of twelve, with no prospects, no options, nothing to my name. Manehattan is a hostile, unforgiving place. It claims to be an earth pony city, but nothing is farther from the truth.” For the first time, Miss Blintz showed some sign of emotion, and she cast her gaze upon the floor.
“A dreadful fate almost befell me, but with my plucky persistence, I got a job pulling a cab. I worked from sunup to sundown. It was an awful job, but I did it. It was earth pony work. I saw no point in complaining. That awful, demeaning job afforded me an apartment… and a tiny kitchen. All day long, I worked. And at night, I baked. It is what I am good at. My mark is a measuring cup. Those baked goods, I sold to my passengers. From these humble beginnings, I laid the foundations for my success.”
Twilight could not help but wonder if this had been ‘cleaned up’ for presentation.
“I never asked for concessions to be made because I was an earth pony,” Miss Blintz continued. “I knew and understood that this was a hard, unforgiving world that was cold and unfeeling to my needs. I never hid behind the fact that I’m an earth pony and I’ve never asked for special exceptions to made on my behalf. I have watched my tribe go into decline, making excuses, demanding exceptions be made, and they constantly remind the world that they are earth ponies… disadvantaged earth ponies. They shirk competition with others and seek only to compete with themselves… but this is not how the world works. For a tribe that speaks so highly of work ethic, there sure is a lot of laziness evident. My life and my success is proof that hard work and effort can elevate one to equal hoofing.”
Twilight decided that she had endured enough sanctimonious platitudes and that it was time to deal with Bourgogne Blintz. It was time to inject some reality into this situation, manufactured or not. In fact, this whole thing seemed about half-baked and it was time to apply some real heat so it could finish cooking.
“Horseshit.” Twilight spat out the word and even as she said it, her desire to hold back melted away. “Absolute and utter horseshit. Your current state of blindness is caused by a severe cranial-rectal inversion. Not only are you blind, but you are stupid, crass, and trite. You rose to the top in a sheltered society. Princess Celestia holds back the worst of the world and enforces tribal equality here. You were free to pursue success because you came to a country where success for earth ponies is made possible by a benevolent tyrant that drags the sun around the sky. An ever growing army of guards pushes back the forces of inequality and darkness. You came to the one country where an earth pony truly can get ahead and have some measure of equality.”
Twilight delighted in the pained shock that she saw on the face of Bourgogne Blintz.
“Perhaps you should try starting from nothing in Windia.” Twilight’s brows furrowed. “Real problem with slavery there… they do awful things to earth ponies. If you had wound up there, you’d be a slave. A labourer if you were lucky… and if you were unlucky…” She left the worst fate unsaid. “Shall we even discuss Menagerie? Pre-war Menagerie, mind you. Or the Midreach? Again, pre-war. The only reason why you are anything at all is because you came to the right country and exploited good fortune. The playing field isn’t truly level, but ponies like me and my friends work to make it so.”
Pain, fear, and doubt could be seen in the earth pony mare’s eyes.
“One of my friends, you might have heard of him, he’s named Tarnished Teapot. He takes regular trips to Windia and he liberates as many slaves as he can. He does so beneath an Equestrian flag. For now, we can impose our values of liberty, equality, and unity on others without accusations of tyranny. Mister Teapot fights, hooves on the ground, and he’s done more for the sake of equality and unity than you ever will. He fights because the earth ponies can’t save themselves… the sad and terrible truth is, equality only exists in a manufactured reality, such as Equestria. It is something we have to forcibly impose.
“But it’s not just earth ponies who suffer. Unicorns and pegasus ponies also exist as slaves. In fact, my friend, Rarity, was captured by diamond dog slavers right here in Equestria. The strong prey on the weak. That experience changed Rarity profoundly. Opened up her eyes. After that, she was a different pony. She’s gained a level of social awareness that I doubt you possess. Your entire life, you’ve benefited from a system that has sheltered you and kept the worst things in the world from happening to you. But it has done you a disservice, I feel. You’re completely detached from how the world actually works… how the world actually is. Perhaps some time as a slave might do you some good.”
Bourgogne Blintz blinked in shock.
“The entire world went to war over the issue of slavery. Menagerie. It was the war that changed everything. It was The War. The Great War. It was such an awful, horrible, terrible thing that the word ‘war’ itself has become synonymous with the war against Menagerie. It’s become lodged in our collective consciousness. That war became a moral issue… and Princess Celestia got Equestria involved in that terrible conflict at my urging. She wanted to get involved… she did… but feared how the world might see us… I told her that a friend does anything to save a friend. And so we engaged in war to save the dragons and the slaves of Menagerie. We did it so that one day, sanctimonious twats such as yourself could boast about rising to the top with no help or assistance, entirely through their own merits, with them never once thinking of the untold numbers who died to give them the equality that Princess Celestia feels they deserve.”
Sensing weakness, Twilight advanced and closed the distance between her and Miss Blintz. She moved slowly, but without hesitation. Princessly confidence radiated from her and she seemed to glow with an unseen brilliance like a small purple sun. There was nothing haughty about Twilight, or arrogant, or even imperious. But there was something majestic about her, something purposeful and grand.
“You live in a country where you are allowed to be educated to the degree that you have. You have access to the resources shared by those who have come before you. You… you live in a country where literacy for earth ponies is not only allowed, but encouraged. It isn’t against the law for you to understand letters and numbers. You’ve had access to the vast wealth laid down by the earth ponies who built this nation and it is only through those rich resources that you have had the good fortune to become what you are… a pompous, obnoxious jerkbag whose explosive opinions only exist because she has the good fortune to live in a nation that protects and enforces her right to do so… in other parts of the world, you’d have your tongue cut out. Or worse. Trust me, there’s worse. I’ve seen it. You are the product of your environment, and as a Princess of Equestria, I am abjectly ashamed if you are somehow the best we have to offer.”
Now standing about a yard away, Twilight paused and offered up a warm, sincere smile. “Now that we understand one another, how can I, the Princess of Friendship, help you? I was sent here to make sure that this final bake-off is memorable. What can I bring to the table to achieve this end?”
There was no response from Miss Blintz.
“Did I leave you all shocked and shook up?” Twilight asked, her words warm and sincere. “Did I destroy your carefully construed and half-baked narrative? Your bombast might work on those you believe beneath you. In fact, I would imagine it must work shockingly well. But you and I, we’re on more equal hoofing I think. How is this approach working out for you right now? You seem as though something is bothering you. Allow me to help you.”
“You can help by leaving,” Miss Blintz replied. “In fact, I don’t want you here at all. Your services as a princess are no longer required and you are dismissed. Your involvement is no longer deemed necessary. And… should you attempt to cause trouble or disrupt these proceedings, I will have you barred from the premises… and your friends as well. Any attempts at interference will be met with force.”
“Is that so?” Twilight smiled, a warm, kind smile. “I’d like to see you try…”