//------------------------------// // 12 - Toga! Toga! // Story: So, You Want to be a Princess? // by Meep the Changeling //------------------------------// Princess Cadence - 5/16/2018 Canterlot Streets - Canterlot, Equestria Cadence stood in the entrance to Ferrier Quartz Mine, enjoying her first breath of fresh air in days. She knew that time was of the essence, but the crisp spring breeze demanded she take a moment to remember how nice properly fresh air was. Her mane fluttered in the breeze. Her feathers twitched atop her wings. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It’s time. She opened her eyes. The streets of Canterlot stretched out before her. She didn’t recognize this part of town, but the mountain was on the west side of Canterlot, and she had just existed the mountain. It was perhaps a little odd for a crystal mine’s entrance to be a part of the city. Its entrance being at the end of a cul-de-sac with the mine’s offices surrounding the street, and the way the street made a hard right turn immediately after the circular section brought to mind escape routes. Every building in the cul-de-sac was abandoned, slightly run down, with the doors boarded up. The boards had been placed carefully. A bank had put them there, not owners who were abandoning their property. It looked as if the mine had dried up years ago, but nopony had repurposed the old offices, apartments, or store. A ghost town within a bustling metropolis. Cadence narrowed her eyes as she tried to puzzle out why the area would be abandoned, and for such an obviously long time. Perhaps the mine was intended to let the Princess escape in times of danger. Or perhaps it was simply here by necessity. In any case, Cadence was grateful the building surrounding her were abandoned. It would help her blend in. Cadence began to trot forwards, moving down the golden cobbled street. She had been a field agent. Planning the operations wasn’t her thing. Performing them was. I’m fairly certain Celestia didn’t understand I didn’t set up security nets for the US. I broke them. She continued walking down the street, keeping a casual pace and sticking to the sidewalk. She could hear the sounds of ponies hard at work and walking around in the distance. She would be out of the tiny abandoned section of Canterlot soon. The trick to stealth in an urban area is to simply act like you belong. Most office buildings can be broken into simply by wearing a t-shirt and jeans, then walking around with a laptop and an Ethernet cable while muttering random networking terms under your breath. Cadence turned a corner and began to enter into a typical section. The first thing she saw was a pair of pegasi hanging up a banner wishing her a happy wedding. Cadence winced and did her best to simply walk in a straight line down an east-running street. Maintaining a low profile as a Princess on her wedding day will make that much harder. Cadence had to reach Canterlot’s eastern gate. That’s where her weapon cash was, as well as her ride. The safe rooms she had established were a danger, not a benefit. Each of the agents she had hoof picked would see her run into one, and believe she was the imposter because “Cadence” was elsewhere, and had clearly fooled everypony into thinking she was the real McCoy. Cadence put on a smile and buried her emotions as she walked past the pegasi hanging the banner. One of them gasped and pointed, prompting the other to look in Cadence’s direction. “Oh! Uh, h— hi! P— Princess! Hope you have a great day!” Cadence offered the two a cheerful wave. “Thanks, girls! Just taking a quick walk. Pre-wedding jitters.” The pegasi who had spoken nodded knowingly. “I had those too. Don’t worry, if I could handle it, so can you!” Cadence quickly scanned the area as she looked over the banner. There were plenty of places a changeling could hide… Including as one of those two pegasi. Or as both of them. I need to move on. If they are changelings hopefully they think I’m Chrys— Cadence’s thoughts were cut off as she realized she was a mess. She had numerous little cuts and bruises. While the blood had dried up, it would still be stuck in her fur. Her mane and tail needed a combing, and her coat was covered in crystal dust. This is NOT how a princess should look. — Ponyfeathers! They must think something is horribly wrong! Cadence pursed her lips and made a show of looking up and down the street before turning back to the pegasi. “A— Actually, there was an incident… Nopony told me a certain staircase on the third floor of the palace was being repaired. I fell through it... I wanted to talk a walk to cool down. I’d spent three hours getting ready and, well… that happened. Could I borrow a hairbrush and a washcloth? I probably shouldn’t be walking around Canterlot in this state.” One of the two pegasi snapped a salute and immediately zipped inside her apartment through an open window. She returned a heartbeat later with a large brush and a wet towel in her hooves. “Here you are, Princess.” Cadence accepted the offered items with her magic, and quickly brushed her mane while wiping the dust off her fur. The quick bit of grooming was rough, and she looked nowhere near as good as she normally did, but at least she wouldn’t scream ‘just left a hole in the ground’. "Thank you,” she said as she handed them back. “Have a nice day.” “You too, princess!” The pair called as they resumed hanging their banner. Cadence trotted away from the pair, doing her best to remain casual and act like she belonged. She was still rather unkempt, but at least she was not so off as to instantly cause alarm. Unfortunately, she expected she would be stopped several times for little conversations like the one she just had. She had an hour to stop the wedding, according to Twilight’s new friend. That little fact hardly left any time for— Cadence stopped on a street corner next to a bakery, unable to move thanks to being overwhelmed by a feeling everyone has at least once a month. The feeling of being a total and complete idiot. Cadence slapped a hoof against her face and groaned. “I’m an idiot!” she sighed as she opened her wings, gave them a quick stretch, and took off into the sky. As she began to ascend towards the rooftops, Cadence had one worried thought. I hope Twilight can make it past those two pegasi without causing a panic. Twilight Sparkle - 5/16/2018 Canterlot Streets - Canterlot, Equestria Twilight waited five minutes after Cadence left before deciding to leave. She still felt drained, but Cadence was right. They had to move. Unfortunately, walking around with a palate-swap of herself would attract afar too much attention. Something had to be done about One. Twilight stood up with a tired groan. The changeling’s ears perked. “Oh! I— I didn’t think you were that tired. I can try to carry you, if you need the help.” Twilight shook her head. “I’ll be okay. It’s not that far. But um, we can’t have you like that out there.” “Like what?” “Like a palette swapped version of me. Ponies will notice, and they’ve set up changeling-spotting spy nets, right?” The changeling frowned. “Oh… Uh, well, what do you suggest? I’ve been told I do a great Pinkie Pie impression!” Twilight raised an eyebrow. That didn’t line up with what Cadence had told her while they were cutting through crystals. “How do you know who she is?” “She’s the receptionist planner. Why wouldn’t we have been ordered to practice her form? Most of us were briefed on you guys in case we need to, well, you know. Make alterations to the wedding plans.” Twilight hummed. “Okay. Well, going with me as one of my friends might be a bad idea. They will be getting ready for the wedding, or helping with the finishing touches. If they see me running down the street, they’ll just think we ran out of something and I’m in a mad dash for it.” One tilted her head. “Uh, yes… And if it were two of us, they would think I came to help.” “Yeah, peasants would. But guards are different. The more of “us” they see, the more likely it is they know that one of us is in two places at once. It would be best if you were somepony else.” One nodded and tapped her chin with a hoof a few times. Her eyes lit up with an inner glow of mirth. “Ooo! Yes! Hold on!” The changeling was consumed in a flash of green fire, Twilight shielded her eyes from the flash of light, and when she lowered her leg back down she was face to face with… Applejack. Twilight’s ears drooped down, her face took on a dead expression. “What did I just say?” One nodded “Ah know, but I’m telling ya, noling ever notices this mare till she says someth’n. It’s like she’s a background character in a TV show.” Twilight’s deadpan intensified. One scratched the back of her head. “Uh, okay… Somepony original then… Ahm not good at original. At all! That’s why, I wanted to copy someone. You know?” Twilight sighed and closed her eyes. “Okay, look, just make up a random appearance you think you could see on somepony walking down the street, and then think of a fictional character and act like them while using a different name than theirs. That’s the quickest way to start out on a new character. You fill in their depth and details as you go.” One nodded and sat down, closing her eyes to think. The first thing that popped into the bug's mind was how angry her Queen would be from the betrayal. Her ears fall, a wince pulled her lips apart. In a desperate bid to think of anything else, the bug’s mind turned from the idea of a Queen to the band Queen. The Changeling smiled as she remembered several silly movies Queen had done the music for. “Heh heh heh… There can be only one.” Twilight smiled. “Have something?” “Yeah! I think so!” One replied with a huge grin. A huge grin that instantly faded as she remembered how terrible the Highlander sequels were. “Uh, never mind… Let me keep thinking. What else did Queen soundtrack? There was A Knight's Tale, Blades of Glory, um…” Her face scrunched up in thought, then she got an idea. A glorious, stupid, silly idea. Exactly the kind of ideas which she had been created to rid her Queen of. The changeling spun to face Twilight, smiling the dork of a bug she was. “Quick! What’s a word relating to forts? I need to ponify a human last name.” Twilight linked. “Uh, okay? Fort would work, you know.” “Flash Fort sounds bad.” Twilight winced. “Ew, yeah it does. What name are you trying out? Maybe there’s a direct translation?” The changeling blushed lightly. “Well, before she made me, our Queen really liked the Flash Gordon movie. Gordon means fort, or something like fort.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I admittedly haven't seen that movie, but I’ve heard it’s pretty silly. A bit dumb even. Are you sure you want to base yourself on a character for a weird comedy?” The changeling nodded eagerly. “Yes I do! You said yourself you can grow later, but even better, we’re trying to stop a merciless ruler’s wedding! If we can get a few hundred pegasi and some maces we can reenact the whole “DIVE!” scene and that would just be the best thing ever!” Twilight smiled, shook her head, then thought for a moment. I guess that’s okay, since it’s not their fault they think about dumb jokes first.  “Well, forts guard things, right? Kind of like a sentry. Flash Sentry doesn't sound bad.” “I like it! Hold on,” the changeling closed her eyes and transformed once more. When the flash of green flames cleared, Twilight found herself staring at a rather athletic pegasus stallion with light orange fur and a rich blue mane. The changeling gave Twilight a playful bow. “Flash Sentry reporting for duty, my Princess!” Twilight blushed. “I’m not a princess, but thank you.” Flash shook his head. “No no no no! You are. Period. End of story!” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Uh, why so insistent?” Flash tapped his hooves together awkwardly. “Bug instincts… I need to serve a royal, I uh, I’m a traitor now, so I don’t have a queen, and the actual Princess wanted to cut my head off. So um, you’re totally my princess. Okay?” Twilight raised an eyebrow. “It doesn't work like that…” Flash closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. “I hereby lay claim to an unclaimed planet in the Milky Way galaxy which is outside any and all known jurisdictions of any and all governments, and therefore is land I can claim as my own, which I hereby declare to be the Kingdom of Awesome. As the King of Awesome, I hereby outlaw homeowners associations, multilevel marketing, censorship of free speech, expression, and affection by any government or private body, and wearing socks with sandals. I now abdicate the crown in favor of Twilight Sparkle.” Flash reached out and tapped his right hoof against Twilight’s shoulders. “King Flash of Awesome is dead, all hail Queen Twilight of Awesome. There, problem solved!” Twilight felt her brain jumble up as she attempted to follow those mental gymnastics. Flash bowed again. “Your orders, your majesty?” Twilight shook her head slowly back and forth. “Let’s go to the comic shop.” “As you wish,” Flash desperately wished he had chosen a disguise which would let him cast illusion spells. A black mask/hood combo was needed to make the line really work. Princess Cadence - 5/16/2018 Canterlot Streets - Canterlot, Equestria Two conflicting emotions consumed Cadence as she flew over the rooftops of Canterlot. The sensation of freedom made her heart swell with joy. Even with the pink dome overhead, even with the impending fighting, even with her knowing full well she was ill-equipped to fight an army of wizards, flying was wonderful. I have to do a lot more flying, Cadence thought as she squinted as hard as she could to avoid the glowing sea of death rays below her. When I’m not above a bunch of polished gold at noon! Her impaired vision had already cost her some time. Cadence had veered south by accident, arriving at the wrong gate. To remedy this she took a route along the city’s wall. The extra time in the air worried her immensely. Stealth had two components, speed and obscurity. The faster you were, the less time the enemy had to find you. The better hidden or the longer you went without being seen, the fewer chances the enemy had to know you shouldn’t be there. The air was much faster than the walk, and would mean less eyes would be on her. Unfortunately, of the eyes that would be on her, most of them would belong to ponies who were paid to watch the sky for a living. Cadence couldn’t scan the ground below her thanks to the glare of the sun on the incredibly ill-advised golden roofs. Why exactly a species composed of one third flying members would use metal for their roof tiles was a mystery. Maybe they really, really hate pegasi. Just as she debated flying lower to try to get a better view of windows to make certain she wasn’t flying over any of her safe houses, the eastern gate came into view. Canterlot’s eastern gatehouse was something of an oddity. One would expect the city’s train station and road to be on the western side so it could be carved out of the mountainside. Instead, there was an obvious tactical advantage in having your road and rails built over thin air, but the engineering challenges would have made such a thing nigh impossible for humans to actually build. Canterlot was a pony city. It did not need a cantilever system, nor great beams fashioned from special alloys to stay on the side of Mount Canterlot. The city was supported by pegasi-enhanced clouds. She flew, much in the same way Cloudsdale did, only Canterlot was bolted to the mountainside. The road and rails leading into the city were also supported by clouds. Ones enchanted to lose their ability to hold things at Celestia’s command. A single verbal command and the spells upon those clouds would vanish, and the road and rail lines would fall a thousand meters to the forest below. Pony engineering greatly enhanced the tactical advantage of putting the city on the side of a cliff. Especially when the gate was flush with the wall. The eastern gate’s train station and parking lot clung to the side of the city, a miniature version of Canterlot itself, with the city acting as the mountain. Canterlot’s railway ran along the southern side of the city to reach the small platform, while the road ran along the northern side. The rim of the platform served an additional purpose. A small fleet of airships were moored to the docks built there. Many of them were from foreign nations, which explained the presence small contingent of soldiers in six different uniforms, and of eight different species. There were perhaps three dozen soldiers in all. Cadence could tell their uniforms were ceremonial, as were their weapons. However, those weapons were being brandished as if they were real. The parking lot was in a state of pending Chaos. The foreign ceremonial guards had formed ranks to protect their airships from a hoard of leather clad earth ponies on a variety of homemade and store bought vehicles. Cadence could see many motorcycles, Trikes, quad-bikes, and even a few mono-wheels within the small army of Earth Ponies and Pegasi who were doing their best to enter the city. Unfortunately for the eighty or so ponies and their extremely colorfully decorated rides, their group had gotten jammed up by a small contingent of Royal Guard, who were very much intent on them not entering the city, which had caused the biker gang to accidentally get too close to the airships while parking to figure out what the problem was. Cadence took one look at the situation and smiled as a plan was gift wrapped and handed to her on a silver platter. The alicorn turned, making certain she had the sun to her back, spread her wings dramatically to cast a shadow on the ground below, then dove. Air whistled past her head as she sailed towards the hard ground. At the very last minute she flared her wings, pulled up, and sailed over the heads of several bikers to land in front of the guards. Sergeant Buckler was a very brave unicorn. His bravery was inversely proportional to his size and magical strength. Despite being all bark and no bite, the scrawny tan unicorn was able to be very intimidating when he wanted to be. Belt Drive was a brick of an earth pony with the stubbornness of ten mules. His brick-like look wasn’t helped by his dull red fur, nor his rust-colored mane. The most surprising thing about the huge stallion was his cutiemark, which depicted an extraordinary delicate looking clockwork mechanism. Sergeant Buckler had reared up to loom over the biker who couldn’t get it through his thick skull that motor vehicles were banned in city limits. Belt Drive still towered a full decimeter over the pipsqueak, and desperately wished he was the type of stallion to have it in him to backhoof little pissant nuisances off the side of the nearest cliff. The two stallions were in the middle of their soon-to-escalate shouting match when Cadence landed between the two like a catapult’s stone. The alicorn stood up, and immediately glared at the poor sergeant, even taking a few steps towards him to force him to look up at a steep angle to meet her eyes. “Excuse me, sergeant, but why are you keeping my guests from attending my wedding? What’s more, why are you forcing them to stop next to those airships? Do you want to cause a fight between foreign soldiers and our citizens? Because you’re about ten seconds from causing a major international incident!” The tiny unicorn sputtered as his intimidating presence scattered to the wind. “I— I’m— That is—” The sergeant looked around desperately for an out, adjusting his somewhat too large helmet. His eyes fell upon the sign next to the gate, and he pointed to it with a hoof. “N— No motor vehicles are allowed in the city center, ma’am.” Cadence’s eyes narrowed, but Belt spoke before she could. “I told you we were invited, and if we were invited, so are our rides! Right, colts?” Some of the Sargent’s bluster returned. The law was clear, his reason was lawful, and the Princess was right there to reinforce it. He puffed out his chest and leaned around Cadence to glare at Belt. “I highly doubt your invitation says you can bring your machines into the city!” Cadence decided she had already had enough of this argument. She turned around and looked Belt up and down. “Got your invite?” Belt reached behind him to the saddlebags on his mud-and-sand camouflage trike and pulled out a scroll. “E’yup. Right here.” “Got a pen?” Belt fished around the bag for a moment and produced a small enchanted quill which produced its own ink. “Yeah. Here you go,” he said, holding them out for Cadence to take. Cadence took the scroll, opened it, verified it was one of the ones she had sent and smiled. “I didn’t know there were this many ponies in your club.” Belt smiled. “Hey, well, you know how it is. Some unicorns want to keep everything all crystals and magic. Puts us inventor ponies out of business. Gotta express ourselves somehow, am I right?” Cadence gently levitated Sergeant Buckler up, so he was forced to watch Cadence as she added the line “and their machines” to the invitation. She slowly turned her head to look at the Sergeant and narrowed her eyes. “Any questions, sergeant?” The Sergeant gulped as Cadence set him down. “Y— Yes! How do you expect the five of us to search all of those vehicles? The city is still under lockdown pending the threat, Princess. We have to search everything that goes in or out!” Cadence snorted. “I expect you to do it quickly, unobtrusively, and professionally. The ceremony starts in forty minutes and I invited all of these ponies. If they are not in attendance I will take it up with your lieutenant, personally. Understand?” The sergeant’ collapsed. “Y—yes, Princess. Sorry.” He turned to face his squad and sighed. “Open the shield. Poleaxe, Kite, keep an eye on them. Close the shield if anyone tries to get in before they are searched. Everyone else, pick one and search them.” Belt smiled and cleared his throat to get Cadence’s attention. Cadence looked up at him and handed his quill and invitation back with her magic. “That was mighty nice of you, Princess. Honestly, when we got the invite, we thought it was a joke. About half of us were going to come because of the rumor you were happy being around ponies like us. It’s nice to see a politician, and a Princess at that, who isn’t a turd pile.” He held out his hoof for Cadence to shake. Cadence took it gladly and gave him a firm hoof-shake. “I’m fairly certain that I am the only one, to be honest.” Belt threw back his head and laughed. “Probably! Probably! So, why do you care about us, eh?” His question came rather bluntly, and harshly. Cadence could tell by the look in Brick’s eyes that he figured he was being used for something. While she did need his ponies for her plan, she had also genuinely invited them in the first place. She gave him a genuine smile and turned her head to look for Harley. “Well, you see,” she began. Unable to spot her changeling-bike due to the dense crowd of bikers, Cadence whistled sharply, and used her telekinesis to flick a pebble to make it look like she cast a spell. “Harley? Come to mommy!” The unmistakable roar of an 80 cubic inch V-2 engine thundered across the parking lot. Belt turned his head in surprise, just in time to see the riderless bike weave through the loosely packed edge of his gang and pull alongside Cadence. The Alicorn gave her bike a loving pat and slipped into the seat with a grin. “I’m one of you.” A quarter of Canterlot turned their head east, wondering what on earth all the cheerful yelling was about. The wedding hadn’t even started yet! Belt laughed and gave Cadence’s shoulder a playful punch. “About bucking time! Come on, colts and fillies! We’ve got a party to attend!” Cadence turned and drove her bike through the gate, never breaking eye contact with Sergeant Buckler, mentally daring him to object to her riding into the city. I think I’ve found a royal perk I like, Cadence thought as she stopped just inside the city to wait for Belt’s bike to finish being searched. It did not take long for the guards to search the first ten bikes, though Cadence did note they had decided to be extra through with Belt’s trike. As soon as he was free, the huge earth pony drove up alongside Cadence and offered her a happy smile. Though his eyes did betray he had some nagging doubts about her in the back of his mind. “Thanks for the help back there, Princess. Name’s Belt Drive.” Cadence held out her hoof and Belt shook it. “Cadence.” “So, Princess—” “Cadence,” she corrected. “With what I have planned, we can be on a first name basis.” Belt sighed and shook his head. “Yep. I knew it… Okay, what do we have to do in return for you being nicer to us gearheads?” Cadence snorted and gestured down at Harley’s chrome frame with her left wing. “It’s nothing like that. See my ride? She’s a Sixty-Nine Indian Chief. They don’t make these anymore. I had to refurbish her myself, and I even hoofmade some of her parts. I am a gearhead. It’s you specifically that I’m interested in.” Belt pursed his lips. “Like I said, what for?” Cadence could tell by the look in his eye that Belt wouldn’t go along with her without a good reason. She’d run into plenty of people like that before. Leaders who wouldn’t risk a single person until there was just cause to do so. She liked those kinds of people. I need their help for a distraction. Without one, there’s no way I’ll get into the palace unseen. I could be honest, trust him to do the right thing… He’s an older guy, not some young hoodlum. Yeah, I think I’ll be honest. Worst thing that happens is I’ll be stuck along against the whole city. Which is what I am doing now... Cadence took a deep breath. “I think I can trust you. You just got into town… See the dome?” Belt nodded. “Something about a threat, right?” “Yeah… The threat is shapechangers. We didn’t do the security right. There’s a Cadence in the palace right now, and she’s not me. I just escaped. You can’t tell another soul this, understood?” Belt’s lips twisted into a frown. “Okay, I can think of one way I can believe you. If you can do it, you’ll have my help and my silence. I’m a stallion of my word, farmer’s honor!” “What’s that?” “You’re the Princess of Love, right?” Cadence nodded. “And you can feel the bonds of love between people?” Cadence nodded again. “If I look for them, yeah.” Belt turned to Cadence and looked her in the eyes. “Tell me who I love the most. Get it right, and I’ll know you’re really an alicorn. If you are, even if you’re not actually Cadence, you’ll have my hooves at your command.” Cadence raised an eyebrow. “You’re awfully ready to give your loyalty to company who could be lying to you.” Belt smiled. “Cadence… I’ve been told my craft is only good for foal’s toys for sixty years. Now I’m looking at somepony who might well be an Alicorn and a gearhead. If you are, my gang’s yours to command. It takes an Alicorn to rule ponies, there’s plenty of unclaimed land out there. With an alicorn in our ranks, we could set up shop some place and build our own little nation.” Cadence smiled. “You’ll like my plans then. Just a sec…” She closed her eyes for a moment and let her special talent do its thing. Her magic gently reached out to the stallion beside her, probing, feeling, checking for the threads which bound his heart to another. No, not another... Cadence’s eyes opened. A shy smile parted her lips as she gently pat Belt’s trike’s handlebars. “He’s a lovely ride. Trust me, I get it.” Belt blushed lightly. “I’d give my left nut to have him able to come when I called for him… Well, you’re the real deal. So what’s your plan?” Cadence glanced up at the sun. She had about forty minutes left till the wedding ceremony started, by her best guess. “Harley does more than come when I call… We’ll see what we can do for you later. Right now, can I get a quill and that scroll please?” Belt fished the items back out of his bag and handed them over once more. Cadence unrolled the invite, flipped it to the blank side, and began to write as she spoke. “I need to break through my own security. The imposter has my stallion. He’s probably mind controlled. I also know they replaced his little sister, because she was in the same hole they stashed me. You’ll help me get into the palace.” Belt winced. “Sounds a bit risky. Especially since we brought beer and tunes, not chains and pipes.” “Don’t worry, there’s nothing dangerous I need from you,” Cadence assured as she used the tiny charm Celestia taught her to place her seal on the letter, then handed him back the scroll. “This is a letter to the Royal Bank. It is an authorization slip for party supply purchases in the name of the Crown. The bank will probably think it’s fake because it’s on the back of your invite… In that case, tell shop owners Cadence will cover it and give them IOUs. The ‘check’ is for one million bits. That’s what Celestia has limited my personal expenses at for the month. I think this will be worth it.” Belt blinked. His brain refused to process what he had been told as anything other than pure horseapples. “What?” Cadence smiled. “You heard me. I want you to go into the palace grounds, right up to the reception hall, and bucking party!” Belt raised an eyebrow. “A distraction, eh?” Cadence shook her head. “No, no no… I don’t think you understand. I want you, and your entire gang, to throw the biggest, loudest, longest, hardest, most epic party to ever rock Equestria! I want this whole city to shake. I want the hangovers to be so widespread and severe so as to cause the stock market to noticeably drop thanks to the sheer amount of workers calling in sick. I want some stuffy noble ten years from now to shudder at the horrors wrought in the palace lawns. I want the guard to get so many calls about this party that they just give up on coming down and just join the party. “You are going to party so hard, that the history books won't write down today as my wedding day, they will record it as the day the Hay’s Angels partied so hard that no one could remember the previous week. I want the groundskeepers to have to pressure wash the beer, vomit, and spunk off the pathways, the lawn, the walls, and the windows! I want at least eight young noble mares to ride off into the sunset on the back of one of your gang’s bikes, hugging their new lover while their mothers faint in terror!” Belt chuckled. “Sure thing! A good chunk of my colts would rather ride off with young stallions though.” Cadence laughed. “I see no problem with that.” “Good! Lot of city ponies do,” Belt grumbled. Cadence waved a hoof. “Buck ‘em. Throw that party for me, and when Celestia give me a particular chunk of land as a wedding gift, one she’s promised that I and I alone will rule, well… I’ll need some good people I can trust for a lot of things. How would you like to be a Lord? We could make a new nobility that’s not all jerks.” Belt’s eyes narrowed. His lips parted in a thin but wide smile. “Oh, buck the hay yes!” Cadence beamed a genuine smile at Belt. “If it all goes well, we’ll throw an even bigger party each year to celebrate today's’ victory. Go cause some chaos, Belt! Just remember, nothing non-con.” Belt turned to Cadence with a genuinely hurt look in his eyes. His ears fall flat against his head. “What kind of monster do you take me for, Cadence?” Cadence held up her hoof. “Easy, big guy! Just checking. That said, think about every weird sex thing parents are afraid their teenagers are doing these days. I want each of them happening in at least five different rooms in this party, not counting the lawn. We are going to invert this high society horseapples into a REAL celebration!” Belt shook his head and laughed. “Your wish is my command, your highness! I’m going to personally make two young stallions run off with me!” Cadence’s smile returned. “That’s the spirit! Give them Tartarus.” Belt turned away to distribute the Princess’s orders to his gang. The manic grin stamped on his face slowly spread across his gang like a plague. Belt only smiled like that when something historically awesome was about to go down. Belt drove into the middle of the street and held up Cadence’s check. “Colts, fillies, we have been given a Royal Command! The Princess has asked us to show these Canterlot snobs what a real party is! Windigo Squad, you will go to the bank, cash this check, then distribute the bits to Timberwolf Squad and Cragodile Squad. “Timber, Crag, if Windigo can’t get the bits, the Princess said to use IOUs, have the shops bill her. Timber, you will buy all the beer you can get your hooves on. Crag, go nuts! Get party stuff. Breezie Squad, get all the beer, tunes, and cute ponies we brought, and form up on me! Let’s get this party started!” Sergeant Buckler raised his hoof timidly. “Uh, P— Princess? Did you actually ask them to do that?” Cadence put her hooves up to her mouth to yell her answer so everypony would hear it. “Yeah! I asked them to do the reception in the first place. This is me getting back at Celestia for changing my wedding plans. Go ahead and join them if you want!” Two of Buckler’s squad shared a look, nodded, and began to take off their uniforms. Cadence turned Harley around and drove down the street, ducking into an alleyway. She gently stroked the back of Harley’s gas tank, remembering that was her shoulder blades. “Hey, sorry about calling you a machine back there.” Cadence laughed quietly. “That’s right, I forgot.” “Don’t worry. We’ll handle it. Are my tools still in your bags?” Cadence sighed in relief. With the palace grounds swarming with Bikers, nopony would notice one happened to be an alicorn amidst the chaos. It would let her get inside, and find the changeling who was impersonating Twilight. “Good, then as soon as the party starts, we’re going to ride on in and—” A pair of hooves slammed into Cadence’s back, knocking her off Harley and into the ground. Cadence spun with the impact, managing to land on her back, ready to spring back up. Her eyes hardened, searching for her opponent. She wasn’t hard to find. A lime green Pegasus with a Special Services badge on a sash around her barrel sprang back across the alley and unhooked a small crossbow from her sash, leveling it at Cadence. “Freeze, imposter! You’re under arrest!” Cadence coiled up on herself and sprang up from her back to land on all fours. The pegasi fired her crossbow, its metallic twang echoed through the alley as the bolt split the air, missing Cadence by a hair and embedding itself in the bricks behind her. Cadence popped her neck to get ready for the inevitable fight. “You sure about that?” Queen Chrysalis - 5/16/2018 Great Hall, The Palace - Canterlot, Equestria Chrysalis’s cheeks hurt. She hadn’t smiled this much in years. Decades even. The amount of fakeness the occasion demanded her to participate in was sickening. As a changeling, she knew what everyone who said hello to her was thinking. Every last little drop of emotion which lay behind their happy and respectful masks was hers to examine. The nobles? They were all jealous. The stallions much less so than the mares. Yet Chrysalis still knew they were upset she had chosen a nopony like Shining as her groom. The noblemares ranged from the simple jealousy of a mare who saw somepony being treated in a way she never would be, to barely withheld contempt over how much bigger Cadence’s was or would be. Foreign dignitaries were hardly any better. They were all bored. They didn’t care. The legions of foreign ambassadors and minor nobles did not want to be here. This wedding mattered as much to them as a jar of mustard. Cadence was not marrying someone from another nation, there was no real political reasons for this union. There was no reason for them to be here instead of at home working on a way to diplomatically complain that the Princess had not chosen to marry one of their nobles for the sake of a stronger alliance. All of those emotions hidden behind the hollow mask of a smile. I hate you all, Chrysalis growled to herself as she did her best to prevent her eyes from glaring daggers into the very soul of the mare she was shaking hooves with at the moment. You all deserve to burn. You lack the capacity to be a genuine person, and thereby lack personhood at all. You are all automatons, following the rules of a game you never agreed to play not out of habit, but out of need. Without the sham, you have no purpose, no soul… I will end your suffering before sundown. Chrysalis smiled wider at the Duchess of Manehattan. “Yes, it is a wonderful day. Thank you so much for attending.” The duchess curtsied politely, expertly masking the burning hatred and greed in her heart with the gesture. “I am very grateful to have been invited, Princess.” As the tall earth-pony mare walked away and the next dignitary moved to take her place in line, a short cream-gray colored mare dressed in the simple black two-piece suit and Neighban sunglasses of a Special Services agent approached Chrysalis from the side. A small frown parted Chrysalis’s lips. If you tell me one of my drones has been captured I will be very... put out. The agent remained professional, allowing Chrysalis to greet the next three dignitaries as she waited for a lull in the conversation. Just as Chrysalis remembered the agent’s name was Sweetie Drops, the mare cleared her throat for Chrysalis’s attention. “Code Two-Green,” Sweetie Drops said quietly. Chrysalis had no idea what that code meant. She turned her head towards the next guest, a minor lordling from Zebrica and smiled politely. “Excuse me, I need to attend to this in private.” Chrysalis stepped back from the line of guests and found a mostly empty spot next to one of the large flower displays. She waved Sweetie Drops over to her and bent down to get on eye level with the smaller pony. “I don’t remember that code. What’s the problem?” Sweetie remained stone faced, as all agents did when in ‘uniform’. “We’ve spotted ‘you’ in flight over Canterlot, heading towards the east gate. We’re on it, but you should be on alert, ma’am.” Chrysalis’s eyes narrowed dangerously. She stood up, taking the opportunity to compose herself. “Good! Our first catch of the day. I was worrying all the planning had been for nothing. … Destroy it, if you catch it.” Sweetie Drops nodded and reached up to press the transmit button on her earpiece. The magical radio linked up with every agent in Canterlot. “Authorization granted. Take her down.” Chrysalis smiled as she returned to the line of guests. This smile was genuine. True, Cadence had escaped capture, but at least watching her die at the hooves of her own men would prove entertaining. The Queen began greeting the next guest, making a show of adjusting his tie with her magic to hide her horn’s glow as she sent a telepathic message to her hive. Chrysalis turned her full attention to the Duke of Trottingham. The unicorn was the first pony to have a small level of genuine affection for the pending union. Chrysalis bit her tongue to prevent herself from licking her lips, hiding the painful self-control behind a pair of smiling lips. “Thank you for coming, Duke Hi—” “Excuse me! Princess! It’s an emergency!” Chrysalis’ head spun as she looked for whomever was daring to interrupt the proceedings. It had better not be one of her drones! Her telepathy with them may only have been one way, but they all knew how to secretly pass on information! The Queen’s eyes fell on a short white furred earth pony mare with a poofy black mane and glasses. Raven, Celestia's personal assistant. A rather important pony they had been unable to replace due to not being able to find out where she slept. Chrysalis gave Raven a distasteful look. “Yes? What is it?” The little mare cowed slightly as the aggression in “Cadence’s” eyes burned into her soul. “I— um… D— did you tell the Hay’s Angels they could help with the reception, Ma’am? B— Because—” The entire reception hall jumped in fright as a chorus of loud mechanical roars shook the palace. A small army of ponies of all kinds began to chant, the words were incomprehensible at first, but slowly grew louder and louder. “Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!” Chrysalis’s eyes blazed with pure hate. “So, THIS is how she’s going to play! So be it!” She turned around, pushing her way through the reception hall. Princess Luna - 5/16/2018 Chamber of the Moon, The Palace - Canterlot, Equestria Princess Luna moaned and rolled over, shaken from her much-needed sleep by what sounded like extra angry ground based thunder. She rolled out of her bed, smacked her lips a few times to get the post-three-hours of sleep mouth-gunk off her teeth and stumbled over to her window to give those weather pegasi a stern talking to! The dark alicorn pushed her window open, and a faint chant reached her ears. “Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga! Toga!” She blinked, entirely certain that the dry political function she was skipping for reasons of it being dry, political, and her having wanted nothing to do with her sister’s plans to turn a second human into her enemy, could not possibly have evolved into anything remotely interesting. Luna shook the sleepies out of her eyes and peered down at the palace lawn. A hundred or so ponies had driven little land-based vehicles up onto the palace lawn and were setting up kegs of what looked like a nice hearty ale while handing out crude togas. The chant was suddenly muffled as somepony threw a DJ-Pone3 rock remix of a classic folk song onto a tremendously powerful sound system. An engine roared as a trike pulled in a trailer full of snacks. Roast apples. Thick cut hay fries. Deep fried daisy heads. Quesadillas. Enchiladas. The intoxicating bouquet of smells was more than potent to ascend into the lofty heights at which Luna’s chamber sat and give her a proper nose full. Luna blinked several times to be certain she could believe her eyes. The actually interesting party remained where it was. When she had returned from her exile, Luna had been very distraught to learn that official state functions had ceased being the enjoyable feasts and festivals she knew, and became the tedious, boring, high-society rubbish she despised today. The brewing party below her tower looked an awful lot like those old feasts. Especially since it looked like things were about to get rowdy. Well Ponyfeathers! Looks like she knows how to plan a proper feast! I guess I should have at least given Cadence a chance. Maybe she won't turn out like that other human Tia tried the same plan with… Come to think of it, I should have been checking on her character this whole time. Remaining unattached, so I won't have any issued with putting her down if she turns traitor may in fact cause that problem, now that I think about… it… and my own history… Hmm... Luna facehooved. “I’m a bit dumb, it would seem.” Princess Luna shook her head, turned around, opened her door, and trotted out to join the party.