Another morning in Equestria.
Oh, you're probably wondering why it's not 'peaceful' like the others.
Well it would've been peaceful, if not for the fact that Twilight's prodding your back yelling 'Get up' over and over.
"Okay, I'm up..." you sigh, leaning up.
"Finally. Now let's-"
"Aaand I'm down." you finish, planting your face into the pillow.
Then that twinkling sound shows up, and you're suddenly in the air.
"Ugh, come on, Anon! You can't be late for school."
[I thought I was free from those words. Obviously not!]
"Okay, alright. Just let me get ready."
"I have LOTS of days like this, trust me on that one."
"Oh stop it, Spike. You're making it sound like shelving is the worst."
"It kind of is." he whispers.
Soon, Spike is caught in Twilight's magical grip.
"We'll meet you outside, Anon. Don't-"
"Be late? I won't."
Twilight and Spike leave as you get yourself dressed.
Some time later...
"So, they DO take the train?"
"Of course. What, do you think we just let them fly or walk ALL the way to their homes?"
"N-No, I was just curious."
[I should've known that, to be honest.]
The three of you are walking to the school of friendship, discussing how the place works. Thank heavens these ponies aren't completely racist...
And yet, they're making you, a creature not from this world, clean up after them...
You shrug and brush it off.
While strolling through the hallways, you see every creature preparing for the day. Some gave a casual 'Hey, Anon' as you went by. It felt strange because, when in high school, you were either ignored or pushed around.
Here, everyone treated you like a real friend. All of them have accepted you in their society and treated you like their own. It's almost like they actually cared about you. Or maybe your awesome points are still in effect after that magic show.
Either way, it was nice.
Twilight leads you to the center of the library, which is TWICE as big as the one in the castle, and she pushes a cart of cleaning items.
"Okay, let's get it started in here. Here's your wipes, the sprays, loofah. Also got some sponges, hoofsoaps, some puzzle books-"
[Puzzle books?]
As Twilight continues listing off the cleaning items with horribly thought out horse pun titles, you hear a boinging sound getting awfully closer.
[Back for round three, eh?]
This time, you're ready.
At the last second, you fall into a split as Pinkie Pie soars over your head screaming your name and crashes into a small stack of books.
"No hugs today, Pinks. Better luck next time."
"Oooh no. That wasn't the best move, Anon." Twilight winces.
"How come?"
You turn to see Pinkie with a determined smile.
"Oh, it. Is. On Nonny! You're gonna get the biggest, giganticist-ist hug ever when you least expect it!"
*POP*
*SQUEAK*
Her party cannon goes off and blinds you with confetti. When you recover she was gone.
"Well. It was nice knowing you, bro."
"What do you mean?"
"Nopony denies a Pinkie hug. You might want to watch yourself. There's NO stopping her."
It's crazy how a pink horse hugging you sends a shiver down your spine. But you've been through worse.
"Challenge accepted, then. Now let's get to work."
Lunch time.
That wondrous time of a school day where teachers and students come together to relax and eat. In Equestria, it's a little more enjoyable with friends around...
Except you feel there's a presence in the cafeteria.
[Three...two...one...]
You hold your arm out and soon the pink menace collides with your hand. The impact of her assault tosses your player to the ground.
Now, knowing a pony like Pinkie, you could tell she's that type of individual who'd take a good, fun everyday thing and turn it into something intolerable. The song that plays came on at the wrong place at the WORST. POSSIBLE. TIME.
Your eyes widen as the infamous jingle gets Pinkie rocking.
"Oh, God freaking dammit, not here too!"
The skittish pony starts bobbing all over the cafeteria singing along with YOUR player in hoof. Milestone for the first song you wished others didn't get a kick out of because, unfortunately, everyone in the room already has.
"Hey, what's up Anon? Is everything okay?"
"You will all rue this moment." you state with a hint of malice.
"What are you talking about? This one's kinda catchy."
You lean in, inches away from the dragon's face. "RUUUUE." you whisper.
After the song ends, you reach for the player.
"Alright, show's ov-"
Before you can even touch it, a pink blur scoops it up.
"Sorry, Nonny. If you want it back, you'll have to give me a biiiig hug!"
[This mare serious?!]
"Oh no, you're not winning THAT easily, Pie!"
"Okie dokie lokie!"
And in a flash, she was gone again.
[Dear lord. What monstrosity have I just unleashed on this pitiful world.]
An hour and a half later, as you're sweeping the halls, you spot Pinkie's classroom.
Getting a closer look, you see she's reading a newspaper at her desk.
[Those poor students. Not this set up.]
"Ooh, that's interesting!"
"Uh, what's interesting, Miss Pie?"
"Have you not heard?"
"Heard wha-"
You turn the corner and barge into the room. "Ocellus, DON'T!!!"
But it was too late.
Pinkie's singing and dancing her sugar-coated heart out. She must've played that thing ever since lunch because even the class is sick of her crap, covering their ears or slamming their heads on the desks. Soon Pinkie notices you coveeing your ears and mockingly holds her arms wide.
Damn ponies.
After school
"Is she tired of it yet?" Spike asks.
The dreaded little tune can be heard down the hall.
"Eeenope."
"Come on out Anon. You can't hide forever."
"Anon, just hug her already! I can't take it anymore!" he whines.
"First, I'm not going down without a fight. And second, I thought you thought it was 'catchy'."
"Yeah, the first 200 times!"
That bone-chilling boinging sound returns.
"Quick, in here!" you hiss, darting into Rainbow Dash's loyalty class and dive into a ball pit.
"Sup, Anon." RD greets. "Um, what are you in the ball pit for?"
"No matter what, do NOT fall for Pinkie's-"
"Hey, Dashie! Seen Anon anywhere?"
[Now I lay me down to sleep-]
"Y-Yeah, I did. Why?"
"Oh silly, haven't you heard?"
Luckily, Pinkie's facing away from you as you shake your head at Rainbow.
"N-No......I haven't."
"Aww, are ya sure ya haven't heard?"
"Eenope."
[Whew, thanks Rainbow. What a bro.]
"Heard of what?"
"DAMN IT, SILVERSTREAM!!!"
Pinkie dance time.
[Silverstream is WORST creature. I'm marking it.]
"Theeere you are, Nonny!"
You and Spike sprint out of the room, ears in your hands. "Ugh, when will this END?!"
"I don't-"
*DING*
Brain blasts. Gotta love 'em.
Running down the path for your life, you bump into the cleaning cart. You smile as you get an idea.
[Perfect.]
"We need to get to Twilight's office. Hop on."
"Why d-AAAHH!"
No time to lose, you toss the dragon in the cart and ride it like a scooter. For only hopping at a slow pace, Pinkie sure knows how to catch up to someone.
Speeding through the halls, Spike hits you with this interesting piece of news.
"Twilight's office is the other way!"
You skid to a halt.
[Coulda told me that sooner!]
"Nowhere to run, Nonny! Huuuug?"
You shake a bottle of soap and pop the lid.
"Hey Pinkie, look. Bubbles."
Her eyes widen as she charges towards the bubbles, popping them like a child.
[Oh. Well that was easy.]
Thanks to your dragon bro, you're able to navigate the maze-like hall and reach Twilight's work space, who's doing her usual nerdy paperwork.
"Hey, Anon. How was your first day?" she waves.
"Would've been better if You-know-who would lay off!"
"And you led her HERE?!"
"No worries, I have a plan. I just need some assistance."
"No bubbles can stop me this time, Nonny. You can't win!"
You walk out of the office in surrendering arms. "You win Pinkie. You win. I give up."
"About time! I'm getting preeetty tired of that song."
"Are you kidding me?!?!" Spike yells.
Pinkie gets into a pouncing stance.
"On one condition: you stop bugging me afterwards."
"Okie dokie lokie! I Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"
[Eh, sounds WAY less painful than the human version.]
Pinkie bounds up to you wraps you in a tight hug.
For a full MINUTE.
"Feel satisfied yet?"
"Nope!"
"Too bad. You have three seconds left."
"You're not gonna get away that eas- Wait WHAT?!"
Suddenly, you vanish and Pinkie falls on her flank.
"OH NO! I SQUISHED ANON INTO SPARKLY DUST!!!"
While she's having a mental breakdown, you pop up next to her. "Now we're even." you state.
"NONNY! YOUR NOT SPARKLY! I-MMH!!!"
She runs into your hand.
"Uh uh. You made a promise."
"I don't understand. What WAS that?"
"Duplication spell. Courtesy of Twilight. Thanks, Twi!"
She pops her head out the door and waves. Soon, Pinkie bursts into hysterical laughter.
"So I guess we're done here?"
Pinkie calms down, crosses her arms and pouts.
"Whew. We're good. That was a great prank by the way!" she says handing back your player.
[FINALLY!!!]
Rejoicing over everyone's freedom, it soon dawns on you. "Although, it is weird because everyone should've know that the bird is indeed the word."
Spike climbs up the cleaning cart and backhands you across the face.
"I deserved that."
