Despite what the twins later claimed, Harry was positive he did not scream like a little girl when he heard the God of Chaos speak behind him. His first thought, he was very willing to admit, was to dive under the table. Instead he stood and stepped partially behind Sweetie Belle’s chair. This put him between Sweetie Belle and the odd man standing in the flower garden.
He was tall and thin, but not too thin. Likewise, his lightly-tanned face was taller than it was wide, with slightly-bushy black hair on top of his head shading to brown at the sides to almost white-blonde at the ends. His eyes were heterochromatic — one sky-blue and the other black. His right hand had a yellow cast and his left was brown. The rest of his clothes hid his body, but Harry had no doubt that he had colours of a variety of humans hidden underneath.
His formfitting, waist-length, long-sleeve shirt was a red against black colour. The red was a panel on the front that reached from the armpits mid-way to the waist — the bottom of the red panel was a wide and shallow upside-down off-centre ‘v’ shape instead of being level. Connecting to the red panel were wide red strips that ran down the fronts of the sleeves. Over his heart was small golden oval with a vertical, asymmetrical arrowhead-shape imposed over it. There were four silver dots on the collar on the right side. He wore black pants.
And he was smirking at everyone’s reaction.
He was, without a doubt to all who knew him, Discord. And Harry knew he had to be very extremely cautious about what he said, and did, around the unpredictable God of Chaos. Fluttershy claimed he was truly reformed, but . . . as the saying went, once burnt, twice as shy.
Harry floated his plate over towards the man. “We were just having lunch,” he said as calmly as he could while trying to hide his shaky voice, “would you like a strawberry jam sandwich?”
Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom stared at the unexpected visitor in horror. The others looked on curiously.
“Oh, that sounds wonderful,” Discord replied. He pulled the plate from Harry’s magic and took a big bite of the plate and sandwich.
The witches and wizards stared, eyes wide and jaws dropped open in shock. Everyone could clearly hear the sounds of the strange creature actually eating the ceramic plate. He swallowed.
“Thank you, Harry!” Discord said, “I was feeling a bit peckish.” He dropped the plate, which turned into lazily-flying rainbow-coloured butterflies before it could hit the ground. “I don’t want to eat too much, I am having tea with Fluttershy in an hour. And she makes such lovely biscuits.”
“Oh,” Harry said, trying to keep the conversation going and in neutral territory. “Allow me to introduce our hosts.”
He pointed at the twins, “These two gentlemen are George and Fred Weasley.”
The one he had called George said, “I’m Fred.”
The other said, “I’m George.”
Discord’s eyes twinkled. “Pranksters, I see.” He looked up at the house behind them, and his smile broadened as he took in the oddly shaped and haphazardly put together building. “Oh, yes,” he said, “I’m going to like this place.” His smile creepily stretched from ear to ear, “There’s even a ghoul in the attic.” He turned back to Harry. “I see you’ve returned home.” He looked around. “So much chaos, I don’t even have to do anything.”
Harry nodded slightly, but continued on gamely, “This is Percy, their older brother, Ron, their little brother, and this is their little sister, Ginny.”
Discord murmured, still smiling, “Ah, yes, the seventh child and first female in seven generations. And quite a crush she has on you, Harry.”
Ginny squeaked and her face turned almost as red as her hair. She ducked down below the table.
Harry glanced nervously back at the God of Chaos. “This is Oliver Wood, Angelina Johnson, and Alicia Spinnet. They play on the Hogwarts’ Gryffindor Quidditch team along with George and Fred.”
He paused as the man looked over the three briefly. “Oh, my, you are all quite a treat, I must say.”
The three glanced at each other uneasily, unsure of what he was seeing in them.
“And this is Hermione Granger,” Harry said, indicating the girl gaping at Discord.
The kitchen door popped open and Molly bustled out, “Oh, my! Boys, why didn’t you tell me we had company?” She hurried over, looking at the odd man in her back garden. She held her wand discretely at her side.
“And this must be the lady of the house?” Discord said as looked down at Harry.
“Ah, yes,” Harry said, still trying to act like everything was perfectly fine. “This is Mrs. Weasley,” he said as she came to halt on the other side of the table. “Mrs. Weasley, this is Discord.”
Discord tipped his top hat — it hadn’t been there a moment ago — and said, “A pleasure to meet you, Molly.” The hat disappeared again as soon as he put it back on.
Mrs. Weasley stared at the strange man, a slight frown on her face. She bobbed her head uncertainly in response, murmuring, “Hello.”
Harry glanced at the wizards and witches, hoping he could impress upon them just how dangerous Discord was, before explaining to Discord, “We were talking about purebloods and muggles, and that there have never been muggles at home. Apple Bloom mentioned she could trace her family all the way back to Paradise Valley, three or four thousand years ago. Sweetie Belle mentioned that you were probably the only one who knew for sure when the Earth tribe first developed magic.”
Discord preened under the attention. A snap of his fingers and a blackboard appeared beside him while his clothes changed to look like the robes Professor McGonagall had worn on Tuesday. He was also holding a long pointer stick, which he used to smack the board. The board had a chalk outline of some ponies and a few trees in the background.
“Why, yes, that is true, I suppose. After all I was there when the first Apple — he was barely out of foal-hood, you know — planted his first seed and started it growing.” The blackboard displayed an animation of a pony — who looked suspiciously like Big Mac, Harry thought — doing just that. “Of course, they had magic well before then, just that this was the very first time anyone tried to directly use their magic to grow food.” The God of Chaos smiled toothily at Apple Bloom, who looked terrified that Discord was talking to her and intrigued at what he was saying.
“It was such a joy to watch him and his family run around in a panic when the seed turned into a tiny tree a few seconds later.” The blackboard animation continued. “It took him two days before he returned and planted a second seed to see if it would happen a second time — it did.” He laughed heartily.
Discord leaned closer to Apple Bloom who tried to lean away. “I might have helped the trees grow a tiny bit faster,” he stage-whispered to her. Straightening, he continued in a normal voice. “That was about six thousand years ago, give or take a few hundred.” He smiled at Apple Bloom, “And the Apples have been growing apples ever since then. Except for that short period when I changed all the apples into oranges. And that other time when I made them all pears.” He shook his head, grinning. “Ah, good times, good times! Such chaos!” He sighed happily. The blackboard showed ponies panicking and running around an orchard checking each tree and finding only oranges. “Your Ol’ Granddad is a seedling from that first tree, you know,” he added in a conspiratorial whisper to Apple Bloom.
The wizards and witches were watching and listening with amazed expressions. One of the twins blurted out, “Why is that. . .” he pointed at the blackboard,
“. . . showing horses?” finished his brother.
“Ponies, my boys, ponies,” Discord reprimanded.
Harry and the fillies stiffened. Discord was about to reveal their secret.
“Or would you prefer Llamas?” The chalkboard figures abruptly all looked like Peruvian pack animals. He stared at it a moment, then said, “I could always use Woolly Mammoths, I suppose.” The figures changed again. “Or, perhaps, yaks.” And changed once more.
“Nah,” he said dismissively, “Yaks are too prissy, I prefer ponies. They are so much more fun. They panic so easily, and do such amazing things.”
“Excuse me,” Mrs. Weasley said to Discord, “Are you saying that these children are really . . . ponies?” Her expression and body language, hands on hips, clearly indicated her disbelief.
Harry groaned, and desperately said, “Fluttershy!”
Discord’s wide grin dimmed slightly, then returned. He suddenly was dressed as a blue Genie, with a turban and a muscular upper-body that dwindled into a thin stream of smoke coming from a traditional brass oil lamp beneath him. “Your wish is my command,” he intoned in an ominous tone, staring at the older witch. He snapped his fingers, and Apple Bloom disappeared. A second later, a yellow earth-filly with a red mane and tail floated up from behind the table. Her pink bow, formerly merely large, now looked huge. Harry sighed and slumped a little.
“I think she looks quite cute as a pony, don’t you? She has that strong, silent farmer vibe to her, doesn’t she?”
Apple Bloom glared at Discord over her crossed her forelegs. “AJ is gonna be so mad at you.”
“Nah,” he said, “She won’t mind at all, I’m sure.”
A neon sign decorated with flames appeared behind him. It was flashing “Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!” It even had an arrow pointed at him.
There was a moment of silence, then both Chasers squealed. Alicia was the closest and managed to snatch Apple Bloom out of the air, “She’s adorable!” She spun on her feet as she hugged the startled filly. Apple Bloom almost disappeared between the two girls.
Scootaloo, whom many at home considered wildly reckless, wasn’t completely without survival instincts. She was already halfway across the garden when Discord snapped his fingers a second time and an orange pegasus-filly with a purple mane skidded to a halt in mid-air and floated back to them, dropping onto the table. Pouting angrily, she said, “Rainbow Dash is not gonna like you doing this to me!”
“And Scootaloo just loves flying, so what pony would be better for her than a pegasus?” crowed the unpredictable being.
He turned to her and grinned. “I doubt it,” he said to her. This time no sign appeared. “She will, at worst, be conflicted.” Scootaloo and Harry stared at him, puzzled.
Oliver and the twins watched closely. The three older boys had already had their creatures-class and seen pictures of the Abraxan flying horses. Frowning, one twin said, “Aren’t her wings too small for her size?”
“And they both certainly have unusual colours for horses.” said the other.
Was this strange man trying to trick them? They looked at him sceptically.
“Ponies, my boys, ponies, not horses.” Discord repeated irritably. Harry gave the twins a wide-eyed panicked look and drew his hand across his throat several times. He hoped they’d get the message to not piss-off the Chaos God.
“Hmm. . . ,” Discord said, casting a critical eye, with a magnifying glass, on the filly. They spun around her and then slowly floated back to him. “Perhaps you’re right.” He murmured softly, then grinned madly and snapped his fingers. “There,” he said smugly.
Scootaloo gave a startled squawk that sent the Weasley family’s chickens racing for their coop. She swung her head violently from side to side to stare at her now enlarged wings. Compared to the pegasi in her class back in Ponyville, her wings were easily larger than the biggest of them, she realized. Almost as big as Dash’s. She gasped.
Discord dropped her to the ground. “Well?” he said. “Aren’t you going to show them your pony-wings work?” He waggled his eyebrows.
She stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then slowly flapped her wings and lifted herself off the ground. Her expression changed from one of surprise to wonder, then to delight, and then to absolute joy. “YES!” she screamed as she took off into the orchard, leaving an orange and purple trail behind her as she barrel-rolled past the trees.
Harry glared hopelessly at Discord. All of the Princesses’ careful planning and subterfuge was for nothing. “You’re not helping us, Discord,” he hissed as the being turned to look for Sweetie Belle.
“Harry, Harry, Harry,” said Discord, smiling as he looked at boy, “How many times has Applejack told you that lying is bad?”
Harry opened his mouth to say that this was different, this was a secret they needed to keep for their safety.
Discord continued before Harry could say a word. “And what would Pinkie Pie say about lying to your friends.”
Harry’s mouth snapped shut.
He stared at Harry and raised one eyebrow while smirking. He leaned close and whispered, “Tell the truth. Just tell it in a way that makes them think what you want them to think.”
Harry frowned in thought, then slowly nodded. He looked around. Fortunately, no one else seemed to have heard their conversation.
Ginny, peeking around the corner of the table, quietly mumbled something, barely above a whisper. But Discord seemed to pick out every word she had said, anyway, although no one else heard more than a murmur.
“Why, certainly, my dear,” he said with a smile and a snap of a finger.
In Ginny’s place stood a small filly with a gold splotched dark-green coat and Weasley-red mane and tail. She was so small her back was well below her mother’s knees.
She frowned and shook herself, then slowly looked herself over. A wide smile gradually filled her face. She spread her wings and gave them a tentative flap. Then another.
Discord snapped his fingers and Scootaloo appeared floating beside him, her wings held flat. Momentarily startled at her abrupt relocation, she jerked her head around trying to figure out where she was. She crossed her forelegs, and, sitting in mid-air, glared at Discord, pouting.
Ignoring her reaction, he pointed at the ponified Ginny. “Perhaps you should show your friend, Ginny, how to use her wings?”
Scootaloo spun in place and stared at the new pegasus. Instead of complaining about her sudden change of location, Scootaloo darted over to Ginny who was still slowly flapping her wings. “What are you waiting for?” she said, “Flap harder and follow me!” Scootaloo started climbing higher.
Hesitantly, Ginny followed her, Scootaloo calling instructions. Soon, both were moving quickly into the orchard.
Just as the two were about to disappear, Mrs. Weasley finally found her voice and yelled, “Ginny, come back here!”
The two hesitated a moment, but then continued.
“GINNY!” Mrs. Weasley bellowed, and started to stalk after them.
“If you hurry,” Discord said slyly, “you can still catch her.” He snapped his fingers, “You’d better fly or she’ll get away,” he goaded. A furious Molly Weasley, now a larger version of her daughter, took off after the errant girls.
Oliver, Ron, and the twins, stared as the irate mother banked into a sharp turn as she dodged an apple tree and disappeared into the orchard, bellowing her daughter’s name. Which, if Harry knew kids, would only stir them to greater efforts in evading said parent for just a little bit longer. It was certainly what pegasi foals did back in Ponyville!
“ ’Cor,” Ron breathed out.
“Blimey. . . ,” said George. Harry knew it was George because a sign hovering over his head said so.
“Look at her go.” said Fred.
The sign vanished just as Fred turned to look at his brother.
“What about Harry, Hermione, and Sweetie Belle?” asked George.
“What would they be?” finished his twin.
“Why, they prefer thinking over brawn, so . . . then it better be . . . ,” Discord snickered and snapped his fingers.
Harry suddenly was his unicorn self.
“Unicorns!”
A muffled, “Horsefeathers!” coming from a nearby bush revealed where Sweetie Belle was hidden.
He grinned broadly as Harry glared at him. Then the chaos god guffawed. “I know,” he said, “let’s see what you all are!” He snapped his fingers yet again.
Oliver turned into a young pegasus stallion. Percy and Ron turned into earth ponies, a young stallion and colt, respectively. The twins became unicorns, young stallions, of course. The two girls currently cuddling Apple Bloom became pegasi mares.
Apple Bloom landed on her hooves with a startled, “WHOA!” while the former witches stared at each other in surprise from their new vantage point closer to the ground. They twitched and stretched their wings and swished tails as they examined each other.
Looking at Oliver, Discord said enticingly, “Imagine playing Quidditch like this!” and lifted an eyebrow.
Oliver gasped, stepped back as his wings shot out, and then he shouted, “YES!”
The girls looked over at him.
The twins looked at each other, then at Discord. “But we can’t ride. . .” Fred said, a sign labelling him hovering over his head.
“. . . a broom like this,” George finished, not looking at his brother, and instead looking cross-eyed at his horn.
“Quite a quandary for a fine pair of unicorns like yourselves,” Discord said. A light bulb lit up over his head.
He suddenly was dressed like a Yankee carnival barker — red-and-white striped jacket, white trousers, and straw hat — and standing on a small stage. Behind him a large curtain hung, decorated with flying pegasi and the headline “Fly Like A Bird!”
“A special limited one-time offer,” he shouted, “Today only! Don’t dawdle, step right up for the experience of a lifetime!” He snapped his fingers and they all turned into pegasi, even Apple Bloom, Harry, and Sweetie Belle.
A second snap of his fingers and the missing three appeared. They settled to the ground as Mrs. Weasley glared at her daughter.
“You are all pegasi until sundown today!” declared the God of Chaos. “Go! Play Quidditch!” And he burst out laughing. Oliver and the rest of the Quidditch team needed no further encouragement and took off towards the Weasley Quidditch field at high speed. Ginny, hearing Quidditch, was hard on the heels of her brothers — this time there would be no arguments about whether she knew how to fly a broom or not! Scootaloo followed closely.
Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Harry were almost as eager. After flying on brooms for hours, the novelty of actually having wings was impossible to ignore. However, Hermione’s hesitation made them pause as well. It took only a few minutes to coax the reluctant girl into the air as she flew under her own power. They knew that a few crashes where she emerged unharmed, except for a bruised ego, and she’d be over her flying fears.
Discord held Mrs. Weasley back. Her face turned red with futile effort as she strained to chase down her disobedient children. She franticly wanted to give them a good talking to.
The God of Chaos crooned softly, “Come, my dear, surely you have had dreams of flying as free as a bird, with nothing beneath your wings but the air.” Molly’s struggles slowed as she listened. “Your flock is safe and having fun. Pegasi are remarkably hardy. They shrug off falls and collisions that would instantly kill a witch or wizard. They ignore such accidents the way you shrug off bumping your hip on a table.” She stopped to look up at the odd wizard. He smiled enticingly. “Have a little fun. You deserve a reward for all your hard work for this family,” he added persuasively. “Take a little time for yourself. Be the little girl you used to be all those years ago, before the war, just for a little while.” He petted her head kindly. “Enjoy yourself for a few hours. When you want to return to normal, just walk into your kitchen and you’ll be back to your,” he stopped and sighed dispiritedly, “boring bipedal self. In the meantime, flap your wings and have a little fun.”
She looked at her wings, as if only now noticing she had them. She flapped them a few times and felt herself lift up into the air.
Discord stepped back and motioned she should follow the sounds of her happy children. He raised his eyebrows and said, “Go on, have fun with your children! Soon, they’ll be gone to school and you won’t have the chance.”
Smiling, she slowly floated up into the air and stared at him. Then she darted off towards the Quidditch field. Her children were startled to hear her laughing as she caught up to them.
Discord watched her go. “Heh,” he said. “That’s a nice bit of chaos in everyone’s plans.” He slipped a monkey-wrench into his pocket. “And no pony can say I hurt a single one of them!” His grin widened. “And they aren't such spoilsports as Picard and Riker.” He paused. “Hmm. Picard and Riker as pegasi . . . that has possibilities!” His smile grew much wider. “And Worf as a cute and adorable Earth Pony. Yes. I like this idea!” He began to laugh.
A loud fire-alarm bell rang out. He looked at the oversized hourglass on his wrist. “Oh, no! I’m late!” He disappeared in a brilliant flash of light.
۸- ̫ -۸
Mr. Weasley stepped out of the floo at The Burrow. He looked around at the silent and dark room, with a puzzled frown. The Burrow was never silent if any Weasley was home. There were no strange smells wafting down the stairs from the twins’ room. There weren’t the bustling sounds, nor the wonderful smells, of his beloved wife preparing dinner. Even the ghoul in the attic was silent.
He gripped his wand tightly and took a slow step towards the kitchen, head swivelling cautiously. He had never come home after work to find an empty and silent house. Something had to be wrong.
The kitchen, too, was empty. But it looked as if Molly had just finished fixing lunch. He looked out the back door to see the table outside still had the remains of lunch on it — half-eaten sandwiches and glasses of water and milk were scattered across the table.
Forgotten reflexes from ten years ago resurfaced and he slowly eased the back door open. His back pressed against the house, he listened carefully. He could hear voices coming from the field the boys used to play Quidditch.
Moving carefully, he made his way through the orchard to the field. The sounds of laughing and happy yelling slowly becoming clearer and helping him relax. There were no screams of terror or pain. It wasn’t as terrible as his imagination had feared.
He stopped at the edge of the field and just stared. There were a dozen flying horses playing Quidditch. A dozen flying horses that were every colour in the rainbow. Colours he had never seen on any horse, anywhere. Not to mention the combinations between manes and coats.
They were moving so fast he could barely keep his eyes on them as they fought over the quaffle. He was just noticing that most of the flying horses, pegasi, had bright red manes and tails when the tiniest of them yelled, “DAD!” and hovered, waving frantically with one hoof.
He had walked out onto the field without noticing. A large Pegasus with a light red coat and dark red mane and tail flew over to him — well, large in comparison to the others. In comparison to him, its head would have barely reached to his stomach. It hovered in front of him, blushing furiously, “I’m sorry dear, I didn’t notice the time. We were having so much fun!” She rubbed her forelegs together nervously.
“Molly?!” He stared at the creature. He slowly picked out her features. His Molly was a flying horse?
His Molly was a flying horse.
“Come on,” she said, hooking one foreleg around his arm and tugging him, “I’ll explain as we walk back.” She snickered. “Well, you’ll walk, I’ll fly.” She suddenly turned to face other pegasi — the red-maned ones, he realized, must be his children — “Dinner in half an hour!” she bellowed.
“Well,” she said as they started back, he walked and she floated beside him at head-height. “It all started when this very odd wizard appeared in our back garden while the kids were having lunch . . . .”
۸- ̫ -۸
Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were not pleased with Harry and the fillies that night as they filled the adults in on what had happened that afternoon. Fortunately for Discord, it seemed that the wizards and witches at the Weasleys’ that afternoon all thought that Discord had been pranking them. Harry’s frantic explanations of the God of Chaos’ prank-loving nature, as well as his examples of the things he had personally seen, corroborated by the fillies, had been sufficient for the day. Their secret of coming from another reality was still safe, for the time being.
And their friends wouldn’t be nearly as surprised at their being ponies when the truth finally did come out.
Which was the only reason that Twilight didn’t immediately storm over to the Weasleys’ home and say, “We told you the Cutie Mark Crusaders were a handful! That you have to keep an eye on them at all times. There’s a reason po . . . people run for cover when those four announce they’re on a project!” And explain, in detail, why attracting the attention of a reality-warping being was a very, very bad idea.
On the other hoof, both Twilight and Applejack were thrilled to hear a bit of ancient history that had heretofore been unknown. “I think I’m going to have a long discussion with Discord at his next tea with Fluttershy,” she stated.
Rainbow Dash had been more interested in hearing about this Quidditich game. She had ignored the flying antics those strange apes, being far more interested in flying her broom the previous day. The fillies and Harry spent the rest of the evening enthusiastically describing how they had played the game.
۸- ̰ -۸