//------------------------------// // Out of the Frying Pan // Story: The Insane Art Teacher // by Ironskull //------------------------------// “So let me make sure I've got all of this straight,” said Rainbow Dash. “You're an alicorn Princess from another dimension full of magic, and Sunset Shimmer is a unicorn also from this other dimension, and Sunset came into your dimension last night and switched the fall formal crown for your crown, which by a weird coincidence looks exactly like the fall formal crown. Is that all correct so far?” “Yes,” answered Twilight. “But when you came here to get your crown back,” Rainbow continued, "the Discord in your dimension, who has super crazy powerful magic compared to everyone else, put magic into the fall formal crown, which you were going to use on Sunset.” “Only if she forces me to.” “Right. But now our Discord touched the fall formal crown and appears to have absorbed the magic for some reason and he doesn't know how to control them, which is why we got attacked by the Diamond Dawgs in a giant drill machine. Discord thought he was hallucinating and asked Sunset to knock him out, and she did.” Rainbow stared at the two unconscious bodies which had by now been laid out on Discord’s twisty couch, with Fluttershy sitting between them. “And you think that Sunset hitting him like that caused something you called a magical surge, and that surge also knocked her out.” “It's hard to know for sure, but that does seem likely.” “This is absolutely awesome!” cried Rainbow. “Actual magic!” “Don't go gettin’ excited just yet,” said Applejack. “Ya've already seen that this magic is dangerous. If ya would ever take anything seriously, ya would realize that.” “Me not take things seriously?” cried Rainbow in disbelief. “That's rich, coming from the girl who makes me get the team out for an event that doesn't actually exist just for some stupid, cruel prank!” “What’re you talkin’ about?” “Uh, the bake sale?” “But you were the one who never showed up!” cried Applejack in confusion. “Oh, oh really?” said Rainbow in frustration. “You gave me very precise instructions! Look, I'll show you right now!” She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, and then pecked her fingers on it for a few seconds before practically shoving it in Applejack's face. Applejack grabbed the phone and looked at it for a few seconds. “That ain't my email address, Rainbow,” she said, suddenly sounding much less angry. “What?” “Here, I'll show you.” Applejack pulled a phone out of her pocket too. She swiped her fingers across the screen and then handed it to Rainbow. “That isn't mine either,” muttered Rainbow. “Give me my phone back.” Applejack handed it over and Rainbow immediately began pecking on it. “So who the heck is this?” She wondered aloud. “Hello... Applejack...” she said slowly as she typed. She then hit the send button. A few seconds later, they heard the sound of a phone buzzing in Sunset’s pocket. They both stared. “No way...” said Rainbow in disbelief. She reached into Sunset’s pocket and pulled the phone out. She messed with it for a second. “It's locked, obviously, but I can still see abbreviated notifications. Oh, what's this?” She said sarcastically. “It's the email I supposedly sent to you! Applejack, I think I owe you an apology.” “No ya don't,” said Applejack, crossing her arms. “She fooled me too, so that makes us even.” “Um, excuse me,” said Twilight awkwardly. “What just happened?” “Applejack and I just checked our E-” Rainbow started before stopping as she realized the problem. “Wait, you don't even know what Email is, do you?” “No, but it sounds like a mail system of some sort.” “Pretty much. Anyway, when I sent a message to 'Applejack’, Sunset's phone was the one that received it. She's been making a fool of us for ages!” “I don't suppose that she has been impersonating Pinkie Pie as well?” said Rarity, holding her phone. Sunset's phone buzzed in Rainbow’s hand. “Yep,” said Rainbow. “So, does this mean that you never told me that you can't stand to be around me?” asked Pinkie to Rarity. “I never have said or typed those particular words.” “Whee!” cried Pinkie happily, pulling Rarity into a hug. Rarity reacted to this by holding her arms out in surprise at first, but then returned the hug after a moment. “So,” began Rainbow Dash. “That's all settled, but we still have a problem. What are we going to do with them?” She pointed at the unconscious bodies of Discord and Sunset. “Leaving Discord alone is out of the question,” answered Twilight. “If Discord wakes up, he is probably going to start summoning random things with magic again. And he is going to wake up sooner or later.” “Hey, I have an idea,” said Rainbow. “Why don't you just go and get the Discord from your world and make him take care of them?” Twilight shook her head. “It was a mistake to bring his magic into this world in the first place. Discord’s idea of fixing a problem is to throw magic at it. If I brought Discord himself into this world, I can guarantee that the chaos will become much worse, one way or another.” “Okay, so what do we do then?” asked Rainbow. “We obviously have no time to waste. We have to search the school from top to bottom until we can find my crown. Once I have it back... well, actually, once I have both of them back, I might be able to remove Discord’s powers, or suppress them somehow, and I’ll figure out what to do about Sunset Shimmer as well. I obviously can’t risk letting her steal from me again.” “But...” began Applejack uneasily. “The school is closed, and the doors are locked. We can’t get in until tomorrow.” “Oh,” said Twilight in disappointment. There was a moment of silence. “Um, maybe not?” said Fluttershy. “What’s that?” asked Applejack. “I said, maybe not.” “That’s what ah thought you said. Yer tellin’ me that there’s a way into the school at this time of the night?” “Well, yes. As a teacher, Mister Discord has a key to the school.” Everyone looked surprised to hear this. “Really?” asked Rainbow Dash, intrigued. “It looks like he is still wearing the same clothes that he was wearing earlier today,” said Fluttershy. “Which means that there is a good chance that the school key is still in his... erm, pocket.” “Wait, are you telling me we have to pickpocket our unconscious art teacher?” asked Rainbow in bewilderment. “Well, this is an emergency,” Fluttershy pointed out. “He does have his keyring in his pocket,” said Twilight. “I saw him put it there.” “Well, since you know which pocket it’s in, why don’t you be the one to get those keys?” said Rainbow. “Um...” said Twilight hesitantly. But then she approached Discord, still sitting unconscious on his couch. “I guess we have no choice. Okay, here I go.” She quickly stuck two fingers into Discord’s pocket and quickly found the ring for the keys. She hooked her fingers around it and then pulled them out. She held them up for everyone to see. “That is a fair number of keys,” remarked Applejack. “I don’t suppose you know which one is the right one Flutters?” “Um, no?” “That’s a shame. We’ll just have to try them one by one, ah suppose. Well, ah say we. Actually, I might not be able to stick around all night long. My folks will probably start worryin’ about me soon as it is.” “Applejack,” said Rainbow accusingly. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this is, like, super crazy important!” “Well, it’s not like I can tell them that. Ah can't tell them that our teacher suddenly sprouted magic powers and we have to find a magic artifact to fix everything. They’d think I’m lying, despite my reputation. I suppose ah could try to talk them into letting me have a last minute sleepover, but ah don’t think they’ll go fer it.” “Well, it’s worth a shot,” said Rainbow Dash. “I gotta call my folks too, but I’m pretty sure that they’ll let me stay and help.” Rainbow Dash pulled out her cellphone and walked toward a corner of the room. “I shall call my parents as well,” said Rarity. Within moments, Twilight found herself alone with Discord’s and Sunset’s bodies as the other girls all separated and called home, making her feel rather awkward. Rainbow Dash was the first to return. She was courteous enough to not speak aloud for the sake of the others, but she did give Twilight a smile and a thumbs up. Twilight sighed in relief and gave her a thumbs up in return. It’s a good thing that Spike’s various hand gestures appear to be the norm for these humans as well. If I hadn’t grown up with him, all I would have is a tiny amount of information from books about minotaurs. I wonder if creatures with hands universally define certain gestures to mean certain things, or if it is just another strange parallel between this world and my own. Soon, Fluttershy and Pinkie returned as well. Fluttershy smiled and nodded when she stopped in front of them. Pinkie actually came to a stop with a summersault before returning to a standing position and pumping both arms with a cheerful grin. Rarity returned next, but did nothing. Rainbow held her arms out in front of her, as though to say ‘Well?’, but Rarity pointed her thumb as Applejack. Rainbow rolled her eyes, but they waited for Applejack to finish. Since she was the only one left on the phone, it was easy to overhear her when she said “Alright then. Ah’ll be home in a jiffy. See ya’ll soon.” The other girls looked at each other in dismay. Applejack hung up her phone and returned it to her pocket. “Ah suppose y’all heard that,” she said, obviously saddened. “Ah just couldn’t figure out how the hay to explain all this without really explaining it, ya know?” “I understand completely darling,” said Rarity. “I had the exact same issue.” “Aw, common!” cried Pinkie and Rainbow simultaneously. “Don’t worry about it,” said Twilight. “We still have enough eyes that we will be able to cover a lot of ground before morning. And if we haven’t found it by then, then you can just help me once you come to school!” “Let’s hope you find it before then,” said Rarity. “And I don’t know how much help I will be, considering that I still have classes to attend. Even if I were inclined to skip, and for the first time ever, I am considering it, it would be suspicious if our classmates see us in the halls but not our classes.” “Oh. I guess that’s true,” said Twilight. “Well, hopefully it won’t come to that.” “Hey, wait a second, Pinkie, how the heck did you convince your parents to let you ‘sleep over’?” asked Rainbow Dash in confusion. “Aren’t they, like, super... uptight?” “Well, now that I can drive, they are willing to let me do what I want a little more than they used to,” explained Pinkie. “Also, I promised to do extra chores to make up for it.” “We have another problem!” said Twilight suddenly. “We can’t leave Discord or Sunset here by themselves. If either one of them wakes up before I get my crown, they’re going to cause trouble, of one kind or other.” “Oh, that’s true,” said Pinkie. “Um, we can take them with us? Me and Fluttershy brought our cars, so we could put Mister Discord in one and Sunset in the other, and then we can bring them into the school with us and someone can keep an eye on them while the rest of us search?” Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Fluttershy looked at one another uncertainly. “As much as I would rather not be involved with smuggling unconscious bodies into a public school, I think that is the best choice we have, actually,” said Twilight with some unease. “Creepy, but kind of cool, like a spy movie,” remarked Rainbow. “I guess I’ll do it if I have to, but will one of you please ride with me too?” asked Fluttershy. “I don’t think I could handle either one of them if they wake up.” “Don’t worry Flutters, I’ve got your back,” said Rainbow. “Although, I think we better take Mister Discord. I think that if I was alone with unconscious Sunset I might give into this urge to punch her.” “Rainbow, hurting Sunset would get you into huge trouble!” Fluttershy chided. “I know. That’s why I said we should take Mister D.” “I guess it’s decided then,” said Twilight. “You two take Discord and Pinkie and I shall take Sunset. Obviously, Pinkie has to be the driver. We should get going right away. The sooner we begin, the sooner we will find my crown.” “I do apologize again for being unavailable,” said Rarity. “I promise I’ll find a way to make it up to you!” “That’s not necessary, Rarity,” said Twilight. “But I shall just the same. But for now, I must go, as must you. I will see you soon, I hope?” “Yes, of course,” said Twilight. “Even if we find my crown quickly, I still have to stay in this world to try to correct the damage from all of this magic.” Twilight chose to not mention that she only had two days left to do so. Although, now that she thought of it, it wouldn’t actually be so bad if she needed more time than that. After all, the Discord from Equestria had specifically said that he would come and get her if she wasn’t home in time. If it came to that, hopefully she would be able to convince him to come back later and keep him from making things worse. “I’m right behind you Rarity,” said Applejack. “And, er, same stuff that she said applies to me too. Sorry ah can’t help tonight, but I really do have ta get home. So, er, yeah. See y’all.” Rarity and Applejack turned away and walked toward the shattered door and carefully stepped over the pieces of it before climbing the steps out and out of sight. “We had better help you move Mister Discord first,” said Twilight. “After all, one of us needs to open your car up so that you can get him in.” “Come help me with mister D, Fluttershy,” said Rainbow Dash. “And be careful, we don’t want to hurt him.” Fluttershy let out a giggle. “Normally I have to tell you that, Rainbow.” “You know,” said Rainbow Dash, “I just realized that we’re probably going to be getting any sleep tonight. Look’s like we’ll be pulling an all-nighter." “That’s true. I hope I can still function in the morning,” said Fluttershy. “This really is going to be a long night. I’m having to do breathing exercises to stay calm as it is.” “Are you going to be okay driving?” asked Rainbow with concern. “Oh don’t worry,” said Fluttershy. “I can keep focused. I would never do anything to endanger my friends. Rainbow! We’re not going pick him up by his arms and legs!” Rainbow instantly let go of Discord’s feet and her face turned red. “We need to hold onto each other’s arms to make a kind of chair,” explained Fluttershy. “And then we can put Mister Discord’s arms around our necks to help keep him upright.” “Oh. Yeah, that sounds way better than what I was about to do. Man, that would have been bad. Thank’s for the save.” “You’re welcome, Rainbow. Here, get your arms under his legs like me.” “Like this?” “Yes. I found you, now grab ahold of me just like I am doing to you.” “Alright, done. Now we wrap his arms around our necks, right?” “I’ve got it!” said Pinkie. “Thanks,” said Rainbow. “Now we lift?” “Why don’t we count to three?” “Okay, you want me to count?” “Alright.” “Tell me if you can’t handle his weight, he’s a really tall dude. Alright, here we go. Three, two, one!” There was a bit of grunting from both friends, but they lifted Discord off of the couch with little difficulty. “Wow,” remarked Rainbow. “Actually, this isn’t so bad. This chair idea of yours is pretty great.” “Actually Rainbow, we learned this in health class.” “We did? Oh, wait, yeah we did! Huh, I totally forgot about that. Come on, let’s get him through the door.” “I just realized... I have to take care of something” said Twilight. She walked away and into Discord’s computer room. She took a look at the computer, and then grabbed the mouse and assessed the damage. “Whoa,” she muttered to herself. “Celestia has completely wrecked Discord’s kingdom. I wonder if she figured out that he isn’t here anymore?” She had watched Discord send Celestia messages more than enough to know how the procedure worked. She typed out a message for the principal. ‘Sorry, something has come up. I have to go.’ She opened up the menu and was about to close the game when she saw Celestia’s reply. ‘You’re just quitting so you don’t have to watch me win, aren’t you?’ Twilight quickly closed the menu and typed another message out. ‘No, really, something crazy just happened. I have to go.’ Celestia replied with, ‘Alright, I believe you, thanks for the distraction from work.’ Twilight quit the game. She then considered the computer itself, but realized that she did not know how to turn it off. She would just leave it on. There were more important things to worry about. She returned the living room and found that her friends were already taking Discord up the stairs. “You know,” said Fluttershy, “I’ve been wondering, do you think Discord and Sunset are completely unconscious, or do you think that they are dreaming?” “I have no idea.” “Alright Mister Discord,” said Sunset Simmer. “I was hoping that this would be easy since you were able to conjure up at least two drill machines without even trying, but it looks like trying to have you just will things to happen isn’t accomplishing anything.” “Well, you said that my supposed counterpart from your world has this same magic. How does he use it?” “I have no idea, I’ve never actually seen him use any!” “Pff, well that’s helpful.” “Hey, I didn’t say that I’m out of ideas. I may not know about draconequuses, but I do know about ponies and how we harness our magic. Each kind of pony channels our magic through a different part of our body, which is useful because it usually prevents the unintended use of magic. We have to use it on purpose to get an effect.” “But I wasn’t conjuring up monsters on purpose,” Discord pointed out. “True, but humans don’t have natural spellcasting instruments like unicorns do, so that could explain why your magic is so unstable. Let’s try it the way that wizards in some fantasies do it, try using your hands." “Using my hands,” repeated Discord in bemusement. “How? What am I even supposed to do with them?” “I don’t know, just try channeling your will through your hands and point at the cup and see if it you can levitate it.” “I don’t even know how I’m supposed to ‘channel my will’ through my freakin’ hands, but here goes nothing.” ... “You’re right, that was definitely nothing.” “Told you.” ... “Actually,” said Discord suddenly, “what if we change it up a little bit? Take this, cup!” Sunset actually jumped in surprise as the glass cup immediately crushed in on itself as a clump of shards and thousands of grains. “Whoa! Well, something happened! But you were supposed to lift it, not crush- What are you doing?” “What does it look like I’m doing?” asked Discord, and then he let out a laugh. “Actually this is kind of cool.” “You’re flexing all of your fingers at the cup.” “Yeah?” “Flexing isn’t the same thing as channeling!” cried Sunset in frustration. “Stop being dumb and stop flexing your fingers, but keep doing whatever it is that you are doing otherwise.” “Er, okay?” Discord did as Sunset requested and the ball of glass dropped straight down onto the table in the teacher’s lounge that they were practicing in. “Oh, come on!” Without prompting, Discord flexed his fingers at the glass again and it once again seized together into a clump. “Haha!” cried Discord. “Look, I’m a jedi!” “What?” cried Sunset in exasperation. “That’s what you’re thinking about while doing this? Also, you do realize that magic and the force are two totally different concepts!” “Well, it made sense to me, and you can’t argue with the results!” “They don’t flex their fingers to lift junk either!” “I just felt like putting my own spin on it. It feels more involved this way, rather than just vaguely handing my hand out.” “But it doesn’t have any effect whatso- ARGH!” she screamed as there was a very loud crunch behind her. She turned around and saw that there was a giant sphere of scrap floating where the microwave used to be. She whirled back to face Discord. “Discord, be careful! You’re going to hurt one of us if you don’t tone it down!” “Sorry. But lookie, I can use my foot too!” “Okay, what?” Sunset looked under the table at Discords legs and saw that he had one sticking out in the general direction of the former microwave. “How in tartarus can you flex your foot?” she cried. “And for that matter, how are you channeling so much magic? I mean, crushing a glass, sure, but a microwave?” Sunset actually found herself very irritated by the fact that Discord was so powerful. He had no training whatsoever and he was crushing sturdy appliances with his magical grip. Meanwhile, it had taken her years of practice and study to be able to achieve the same results. Discord had done no such thing to deserve to be able to do this. But she would have to swallow her anger for now. She did need Discord to be powerful, after all. She needed nothing less than teleportation into another dimension from him. “I think I just realized why this is working for you,” Sunset finished, putting her right elbow on the table and resting the right side of her face in her palm. “Oh?” “You were subconsciously casting magic on a level that I’ve never seen before, so it is possible that your whole body is capable of casting magic. Which is unheard of in Equestria, but it could be different for humans. I think that your mind finally figured out how to block the random magic all over the place, but you also won’t let you use magic without clearly defining what you want to happen, and the stupid flexing at stuff is your way of focusing your magic on the effect you want, and only the effect you want. In other words, you are doing the same thing that a unicorn’s horn does naturally.” “So what you’re saying is that the flexing isn’t actually necessary, but it helps me to focus?” “Yes, I think so. If my theory is correct, you could pick other methods of focusing your magic even, just so long as the method makes sense to you.” “Huh.” “Alright, so the plan was to put Mister Discord in his own chair in his own classroom so that it doesn’t look too suspicious if somebody happens to come along, right?” asked Rainbow Dash as she and Fluttershy carried the man in question into the school. “Yep!” answered Pinkie. “And then when we do, you stay with him while Fluttershy and I go and fetch Sunset, because someone needs to watch him, just like how Twilight is watching Sunset right now!” “I wish this wasn’t so complicated. Where are we going to put her?” “At one of the desks, I guess,” answered Fluttershy. “What in Tartarus!” screamed Sunset. “Wait, is that actually working?” asked Discord. He considered the refrigerator floating in the air in front of him. This was in addition to the table, his own chair, a bookshelf of textbooks, and a ceiling fan ripped from its original home. “Apparently so.” “Discord, what are you doing with your hair?” cried Sunset frantically. Discord looked up and saw his own hair sticking straight out. And also grouped together in the shape of a hand, pointing at the fridge. “I was out of limbs, okay?” “Hair is dead!” cried Sunset in bewilderment, standing as far away from Discord as possible. “It should not be possible to cast with it, much less move it all on its own! Are you using magic on it with some other part of your body just to be weird?” “Um, no.” ... “I have no words.” “Twilight!” cried Rainbow Dash as quietly as she could as she came running down the hallway. “What is it?” she whispered back. “The principals and janitors are starting to arrive. We have to find somewhere to hide until classes start.” “Is it time already?” said Twilight in shock. “But we haven’t found my crown yet!” “I know. Look, I already told the others to go to Discord’s closet. We’ll hang out in there until school starts, and then we can continue the search once the students start arriving and we can blend in. Once classes start though, you’ll be searching on your own until lunch.” “But what if a teacher stops me and asks me why I’m snooping around the school?” “Mister D has a bunch of excuse slips in his desk. Forging one for you shouldn’t be hard, he’s got pretty sloppy handwriting. Not as bad as yours of course, but I guess I just realized why that is.” “Wait, what about Sunset?” asked Twilight. Rainbow let out a groan. “Oh no. Discord does whatever he wants, so nobody is going to care if it looks like he’s sleeping through class, but we can’t leave Sunset at the desk we put her in. Man, we’re going to have to bring her into the closet too.” “Alright, should I even bother saying ‘what’ this time?” said Sunset as she stared at Discord’s latest antics. “You didn’t tell me that I could tell stuff to keep on keeping on without any further input,” said Discord. Sunset considered the hundreds of paper balls flying through the air in circles over their heads. Each one was following a different path. And with so many paper balls flying along different intersecting paths, they were bound to collide at some point, but, astoundingly, they were dodging each other when necessary, and with such frequency that Discord could not possibly be intervening each and every time. Surely. “You can’t!” cried Sunset in tired annoyance. “Or, at least, not forever. It is possible to cast persistent spells that will keep going without your focus, but you have to leave behind some extra power to fuel the spell, and also... it requires a deep understanding of some extremely complicated magical concepts that I know for certain that you have no clue about!!” Twilight was very hungry indeed when the lunch bell finally rang, having stayed up all night. She reluctantly decided that she would have to interrupt her search in order to reenergize herself. However, because of her hesitance, she was later than the other students getting to the cafeteria, and she was astonished at what she saw inside. Trixie had set up a very makeshift stage for herself and was apparently performing stage magic tricks. And in a different part of the cafeteria was... a full blown stall. Derpy was standing behind it and seemed to be having a very successful muffin sale. Once she realized who it was engaged in these strange acts, she quickly put together their probable reasons for doing what they were doing. “So if I’m not mistaken, Trixie and Derpy are campaigning for votes for fall formal princess, right?” she asked nervously. “Looks like it,” answered Spike’s voice from her backpack (which was partially unzipped in order to allow him a view of the outside world). “Do you think it was a mistake to not do the same thing?” “I don’t know. I mean, Celestia and Luna don’t actually have my crown, so becoming fall formal princess wouldn’t actually achieve anything. Right?” “I guess so.” Meanwhile, at Derpy’s stall, yet another customer stepped forward. “I’d like a chocolate chip muffin, please,” said the girl that Derpy knew as Fleetfoot. “That will be twenty-five cents!” she answered back cheerfully, and she quickly retrieved and then held out the requested muffin before it was even paid for. “Thanks,” said Fleetfoot, placing a coin in a piggy bank set on the table. “By the way, do you have any idea who that third girl running for princess even is? Twilight something or other?” “I have no idea.” “Hmm. That’s weird.” “Holy crap,” said Sunset bluntly. “Holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap holy crap.” She stared as an army of brooms with limbs marched into the teacher’s lounge with two buckets of melted chocolate each, set them down, and then left the room. Discord simply laughed in delight and dipped his magically repaired glass into one of the buckets and brought it to his lips. “I swear, if you kill us by drowning us in chocolate, I will haunt you forever.” “If I wasn’t so famished from worrying and searching all day, I would not have agreed to this,” Twilight said as she walked through the doorway to Sugarcube corner after her friends, except for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. They had stayed behind to watch Discord and Sunset. “Well, you’ve been working the hardest out of all of us, darling,” said Rarity. “So I think you should get to order first. My treat." The other girls quickly voiced their agreement. “Well, alright. But we can’t linger here.” She approached the counter and was not at all surprised to see a human Mrs. Cake standing behind it. She smiled and made her order. “And can I get it with extra oats?” she asked eagerly. “Oats?” asked Mrs. Cake in confusion. Twilight mentally kicked herself and laughed nervously. “Um, scratch that. However you normally make it is fine.” Mrs. Cake gave her a look, but gave her the beverage. Twilight looked down at the drink licked her lips and turned around and started walking while still staring at the drink and then crashed into something, and the drink went flying out of her hands and clattered to the floor. “Oh no!” cried Twilight before realizing that she had not crashed into something, but rather someone. It was the blue haired boy from before. Flash Sentry, she recalled. His shirt was soaked with her drink. “Oh, I am so sorry!” Twilight cried. “It’s alright,” Flash answered, trying to wipe the dampness off with his bare hands. “We’ve got to stop bumping into each other like this.” Twilight realized that this was indeed the second time she had physically collided with Flash. She crouched down to pick up her glass, but as she touched it, she felt another sensation and realized that Flash had also tried to pick the glass up for her and was now touching her hand. She quickly withdrew her hand in embarrassment. “Ehheh,” she laughed nervously. “It’s a really good thing my boyfriend didn’t see me do that. He probably would be on the floor laughing his head off...” “Oh!” cried Flash in surprise, and he quickly stood up, holding the glass. “I didn’t realize that... um, is he somewhere around here?” “Oh, no, he’s far from here at the moment.” “Oh. I see.” He held his arm out and offered her the glass, which she took. “Um, well, see you at school!” “See you.” said Twilight. Twilight watched him leave before turning down to look at her drink in dismay. “Don’t worry, deary,” said Mrs. Cake. "I saw what happened and it was obviously just an accident. I’ll get you a new one on the house. Just try to be more careful with it.” “Really? Thank you!” Twilight quickly was given a replacement drink. This time she was more careful when she walked away from the counter. “I didn’t know that you had a boyfriend,” said Pinkie Pie as Twilight approached the group. “What’s he like?” “Oh, uh, I really shouldn’t discuss it.” “Aw, why not? Is he weird? Is he a nerd? Who is it?” “You really don’t want to know. Seriously, just forget I said anything.” “But I-“ “Pinkie,” said Rarity sharply. “If Twilight doesn’t feel comfortable with this topic of discussion, then we should respect her wishes. ... Even if I am dying to know." Sunset drifted through the halls of the fake Canterlot Hall in surreal horror. The hallway now twisted in on itself so that the floor shifted to the walls as the hallway went along, and then became the ceiling, and then down the opposite wall, and then became the floor again before repeating again until the end of the hallway. There were weird and colorful furry creatures that fit into no taxonomist’s vocabulary flying up and down the hall. Not that they had wings, there just wasn’t any gravity. A rubber band marched down the hall playing their instruments. And she was pretty sure that the classroom next to her was filled with gingerbread men and snowing sugar. She didn’t dare speak a word aloud. He might hear her. There was no telling what he was capable of. She hadn’t realized before, but in order for her to return to the real world, Discord was going to have to come back with her. She was about to release a monster upon this world. The instant we get out of here, I’m grabbing the crown and running straight through the portal. And then I’m going to break it. “I don’t understand!” said Twilight in dismay. “We’ve checked the entire school and still not found the crown! The school key even conveniently opens the doors to all of the classrooms and we didn’t find my crown in them either! Where can they possibly be? I really hope he didn’t hide them outside. Does anybody have any idea where we should check next?” “Not really,” said Rainbow Dash. “It’s just so frustrating! I mean, the man who knows where they are is right there and we can’t even ask him because he might turn the school into wackyland if he wakes up!” “Perhaps we should-“ Pinkie began, but then abrubtly stopped and shivered. She turned around and looked at the door. The others turned to look too. A moment later it opened and Principal Celestia walked in. “Discord, why in the world have you not been answering my- oh,” said Celestia in surprise. “What are you girls still doing here? School closed two hours ago!” Rainbow looked at the others. “We’re busted.” “Discord, why are… is he asleep?” “Er, yes he is,” said Twilight. “He was just so exhausted when he came to school that he fell asleep right in his chair! Ahehehe! He must had something important keeping him busy all night last night!” “I see. Well, as much as I appreciate you keeping an eye on him, the school is closing soon, and we all need to-“ Suddenly, there was an inexplicable flash of light and Discord bolted upright out of his chair, wide eyed. “Wait… I did it?” he asked in amazement as he stared at Principal Celestia. She stared back in shock. “Celestia, is that you?” “Um, yes Discord. What in the world happened to you last night?” “Oh, lots of things. It started out with me taking a suprirse vacation to Bermuda, but then I got chased by monsters and then I fell into a loop in time and space.” Suddenly, Discord’s closet door flew open and Sunset came sprinting out. Rainbow Dash barely had time to shout “Hey!” before she had pulled the classroom door open and fled the room. “Whatever she’s rushing for, it can’t be good!” cried Twilight, running to the door. “I’ll catch her!” screamed Rainbow. Twilight and Rainbow Dash bolted out of the room and the other girls looked at each other in worry. Rarity decided to run after Twilight and Rainbow, and Pinkie and Fluttershy followed after her, leaving Discord alone with Celestia. Celestia turned to Discord in complete confoundment. “Discord, please explain this instant what in the world is going on here!” “What’s going on is that I’m not insane! Hallelujah, I’m not insane!” “What? What are you talking about?” “I thought I was insane at first, but I realized that Sunset was right! It’s all me! It’s all me, baby!” “Discord, answer me honestly. Are you high right now?” “I don’t know, Celly,” he ansered, crossing his arms and his legs, leaving himself floating in the air. “Am I?” He then floated up to the ceiling. Celestia gaped at him. “How are you doing that? Is this another one of your stupid pranks? Did Trixie help you set up some cheap-“ “Nope, nothing of the sort. You see, I have realized that I am the only real person in the entire world.” ... “What?” cried Celestia helplessly. “What does that have to do with anything?” “It’s like this!” he cried happily. “I thought I was insane because impossible things were happening to me, but now I’ve reconsidered and realized that nothing is impossible because I am clearly all powerful and the entire universe is entirely a fabrication of my mind that I made to keep myself from getting bored. And I know that I am all powerful because this is my world. Originally, everything was like a dream, where things happen around you but you have no control over anything. You know what I mean? But now, thanks to Sunset, who is actually just an agent of my own consciousness, I have figured out how to unshackle those limitations and I am truly free for the first time in my life!” “Discord, you’re scaring me!” cried Celestia. “Don’t be scared of me. Just because you’re not really a person doesn’t mean I’m going to hurt you. Why would I do that? You see, I have other plans. I had a little talk with Sunset and she made me realize what I did wrong all those years ago. Instead of wasting time doing things that are stupid and pointless, I should be trying to make my world a better place! It is my world after all, so why wouldn’t I want it to be? I’ll start small with just the school, since I still need practice and I can’t do big things yet, but just you wait and see. I’m going to turn this place into the happiest place you’ve ever seen, and when all of the students come to school tomorrow, they’ll be having so much fun that they’ll never want to leave!” “Discord, that’s completely crazy! I’m all for making learning fun, but fun must take a back seat to their education!” “Oh, don’t be like that Celly,” said Discord. He started waving his hand through the air in front of her, slowly. “You actually think that this is the best idea I’ve ever had!” Celestia blinked in confusion, and then instantly became calm. “Actually, this is the best idea you’ve ever had!” she cried in realization. “I know, right? It’s going to be great, just you see!” Sunset was running as fast as she could. Unfortunately, the girl behind her was faster. She prepared herself, and then abruptly stopped in place and turned around. Rainbow Dash was not prepared for this, and Sunset managed to grab her leg as she ran past and pulled, flipping the other girl into the air and landing her on her back. “Aaaahhow!” cried Rainbow in pain, but she immediately scrambled to her feet. Sunset didn’t waste any time in getting a head start. “Sunset, you’re not going to get away with this!” cried the enraged Rainbow Dash. “You had better hope I do!” she cried back to her pursuer. “I’m going to save all of you morons!” “What the heck are you talking about?” “Discord is completely out of control! He’s going to turn this school into a madhouse! I’ll even let you come through the portal with me into Equestria before I break it. That’s how bad this it’s going to be!” “You’re not going anywhere!” “You’ll change your tune when you see what he’s about to do!” Suddenly Sunset made a turn and almost crashed into a door. She pulled it open and, to her relief, recognized it as the janitor’s closet where she had found the fake crowns. The real ones would be here. She turned on the lights and then slammed the door behind her, keeping a grip on the handle with one hand. Moments later, she felt the pressure of Rainbow trying to force it open, but Sunset managed to keep her out. With her other hand, she grabbed ahold of the large floor washing machine that was in the closet and pulled. The wheels were turned in her favor, and she was easily able to roll it in front of the door, but the same wheels were in exactly the wrong position to roll for Rainbow. She finally released the door and frantically climbed onto the ladder even as Rainbow pulled the door open. “Dang it, Sunset Shimmer, you cheater!” Sunset ignored her and climbed up. She was into the rafters in seconds. She immediately knew where she would find the crowns, and she reached out and seized them. She could hear the noise of Rainbow pushing the machine out of the way, but Sunset knew that it was too late. She separated the crowns and identified the Equestrian one, and then put it on her head, not releasing her grasp on the other crown. She knew it’s dirty secret and would not allow Twilight or Discord to use it against her. She was immediately overwhelmed by how much power she could sense in the crown. The only thing left to do now was to simply take hold of it and make it her own. She did so. And then there was pain. There was an incredibly bright light that forced Rainbow Dash to look away and put her arms over her eyes. It lasted for several seconds. Eventually, the light died away and Rainbow quickly looked back up, fearing the worst. She gasped. There was a humongous red demon girl thing filling the closet and staring at her angrily. Rainbow tried studying the creature to see if she if she truly looked was Sunset, but she didn't get enough time to catch any details. “Get out of my way!” it screamed. “Holy hell, Sunset, is that you?” The creature didn’t answer, but held her hand out and shot a ray of energy at Rainbow, knocking her into the air and throwing her all the way into the far wall of the hallway. Rainbow grunted with pain at the impact. “Easy!” she complained. She rubbed her head and looked up, and then realized that the demon was literally flying down the hall. Rainbow ignored the pain in her torso and stood up again to chase after it. There was another flash of light, but this time it wasn’t blinding. Although it did seem to cover the whole school. “Crap, what happened now?” she cried to herself. The demon Sunset stopped in front of one of the side exits of the school. It was locked, but a beam of magic was all it took to solve that problem. The door opened at her Sunset’s beckoning. And then she screamed in hideous rage. Rainbow Dash covered her ears even as she ran to catch up. She stopped behind Demon Sunset. “What in the world are you so mad about?” “I’m going to find that maniac and inflict unimaginable pain on him until I force him to let me out of here!” screamed Sunset. She took off once again. Rainbow Dash didn’t follow this time. She was much too confused by what was outside the door. “Why does it look like a gargantuo library outside?”