—(1 day later)—
I look above me, “See, what did I say? It says one day later, I am wearing the same thing, and we cut away!”
Cross at my side, wearing a fancy dress, simply shakes her head, “Sir, I mean not to show any disrespect in this forgin country, but are you fucking high?”
I smile, “Oh, you simply cannot see that fourth wall.” I laugh a bit, “Personally, I think your high not being able to see it. But, I know most are not like me and cannot see it.”
Cross sighs, “Sir, I will repeat the same thing about the disrespect, but are you sure your mind is stable right now?”
I nod, “Sure as its high noon.”
Cross looks around, “It’s nighttime.”
I twirl the end of my moustach, “It’s always noon somewhere in the world.”
Cross almost facepalms, but then she runs into a door, “Well, I guess we’ve arrived. Wait for the flugelhorn to play.”
I wait outside the doors, “Oh, wunderbah, it shall be good to meet the actual leader of my neighbor.”
*BHHHHHHHH!*
The doors open before me, and a red carpet rolls out to mark my enternce. I smile, and walk forward.
*BHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*
I rub my ears, and look back to the flugelhorn player, “Can you please stop blaring that?” I take a breath, and take another step forward.
*BHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*
I rub my forehead, and turn back to face the player, “Okay, the first time was funny. It’s not anymore, stop that.”
I turn back around, look back at the player, look forward and walk forward again.
*BHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*
I turn around and rush up to the pony and hold them up by their suits collar, “Right, you wanna go? You wanna go, mothafucker! I will sic Pickins on your arse in an instant! Or would ya fukin prefer Grognaks medicinal skills?!”
The pony starts to squirm, “I’m so sorry! I meant no disrespect sir!”
I let them go, and they run off, “I will get the Jog’s on you arse eventually you fecker!”
I turn back around, smooth out my moustach, and start to walk forward again.
I arrive at a staircase with a very tall alicorn standing there. I walk up, and offer a hand to her, “Princess Celestia I assume?”
She takes my hand with her hoof, “And you are Emperor Eric McBad, right?”
I nod, and instantly decide I can use this encounter to further the possibilities with Equestria. Of course, I will use charm, “Am I mistaken, or is this a Masquerade?”
She shakes her head, “Why would you say that?”
I smile, and apply all the charm I have, “Well, a face as beautiful as yours has to be a mask.”
She smiles back, “Thank you, Emperor. It’s not everyday someone like me gets such a compliment.”
I smile even harder, “Well, I never do lie to those of equal level of me.”
She laughs softly, “Well, Emperor, I can see you are definitely a charmer. But, I do believe you have a celebration you can take part in.”
I nod, “Yes, I should probably go mingle with all of your elite. Pleasure meeting you.”
“Same with you, Emperor.”
I walk down the stairs, and advance into the main room. The room is a mass of rich ponies speaking. And a food table.
I move over to the food table, and start looking. Broccoli, brussle sprouts, cabbage, hay. Why do they never have good stuff? I see a few wine glasses, and I pick one up.
I hear some hoofsteps next to me. I see a white pony also wearing a monocle and having blue hair, look at my glass, “I would be careful with that, it is very high in alcohol.”
I down it all in one go, “Tastes like piss. Alcohol is about the same.” I place the glass down, “Why did I even drink that? I hate wine.”
I hear a sniker from my monocled companion, “Well, Good Sir, I do have to say that I aggre.”
I smile, “So, who are you to be the only person other than me that realizes monocles look good?”
He extends a hoof, “My name is Fancy Pants. Feel free to laugh, I know it is silly.”
I take his hoof, “It would not be a very good impression of the Bananaramma Corporation if I were to laugh at someone’s name. In fact it might be hipocritical of me. I am Emperor Eric McBad, feel free to laugh.”
We shake appendinges, “I would not make a good impression of Equestrian nobility if I were to laugh at someone’s name. It is a pleasure to meet you, Emperor McBad.”
I smile, “Pleasure to meet you too. Say, do you find this party boring as well?”
He nods, “I am glad to come to these, but they always bore me to death. The only interesting one that happend during my lifetime was last years Gala, wich I was sick and indisposed during it.”
I nod back, “So, would you say this party could be spiced up?”
He tilts his head, “What are you planning?”
I smile, “If you don’t want your suit to get dirty, then get ready to take cover.”
He smiles with me, “I think I will take part in whatever happens.”
I fix my monocle so it looks like we are having a more normal conversation, “Get some food, and get your magic ready. And quick hint, stay out of the crowd.”
He nods, “I know what your getting at. I’ll be ready. This will be interesting.”
I nod back, “I just need to get to Discord first.”
“When will this happen?”
“Soon.”
With a final shared smile, we depart ways. I walk out a side door into some guardians, and hear someone, “Hey, McBad, pssst!”
I look to my left to see Discord floating as a duck in a bird bath. I also see that Fluttershy is there, and she looks over to me, ”Oh, McBad! Have you met Discord?”
With a snap, Discord appears floating right beside me. He wraps an arm around me, “Oh, me and McBad are very close friends! Kindred spirits in what I am a sprit for, if you catch my meaning.”
She smiles, “Oh, it’s so great of you to find another friend! I’ll go on and continue the bird watching elsewhere, I’m sure you two would like to talk.”
Discord smiles, “Oh yes, me and McBad have a lot to talk about! And, I mean no offense Fluttershy, but you are not a master of chaos like us two so you might not understand a lot said.”
Fluttershy nods, “Oh, I take no offense, I’m just happy your giving friendship a chance with others! I’m sure I spotted a great spot in the next clearing, so I’ll be going now.”
She walks off, and Discord snaps in front of me. He spawns in two chairs, one of which a beanbag that he is sitting in. He smiles, “Oh, McBad, I can see that diabolical twist on your moustach! Your smile speaks of the mischief on your mind! Tell me, what wonderfully chaotic things have you thought of? Because both me and you know this party needs our special touch.”
I smile along with him, “Is Pinkie Pie available?”
Said Pinkie Pie then springs out of the bird bath Discord was in, “Did I hear someone saying my name in a diabolical scheme?” She rushes over and sits on a third chair that appears, “I’m in.”
I twirl my moustach, “Discord, you should be able to start this off easily. Pinkie, you are to advance it along with me and my guards that are surely hidden around here where the really shouldn’t be.”
I see one of my guards poke his head out of the bird bath and salute me before going back in. Discord takes a sip of the glass of chocolate milk, “My, your guards seem to be pretty capable chaos mages. Enough to where they can phase into existence and fit into impossibly small places. Not advanced, pretty basic in fact, but still.”
I still twirl my moustach, “We are going to start a food fight.”
With a smile shared between all three of us, I know the plan has been accepted.
“Ney-he-he-he-he!”