Celestia's Rocket Adventures

by Snake Staff


Last Chance

The unearthly quiet of the emptied forest was shattered by the sounds of leaves crunching, engines humming, and branches being crushed to powder. A Houndour was on point, dashing straight through the trees with none of the subtlety that its kind were capable of. Behind it came a Manectric, and behind that a whole pack of Electrike and Houndour. Then came Team Flare itself.

There was no subtlety to Celosia’s approach this time. There couldn’t be – she was a born and bred city-slicker, and her subordinates were almost all in a same boat. They weren’t frontiersmen, they didn’t know these woods like the back of their collective hand and with the end of the world nigh they didn’t have time to learn. The only chance of timely victory lay in forcing a massive, decisive confrontation as quickly as possible. That was why almost all of Team Flare’s remaining four-wheelers were crashing through the undergrowth like a Tauros in a china shop. Appropriately enough, there weren’t enough mechanical steeds for everyone, so quite a few Flare grunts were riding actual Tauros. A handful of Ponyta and Rapidash, too. Their expressions suggested that they were less than happy about it.

Celosia winced at the sound of one of her subordinates losing their lunch behind her. Shaking her head, she opted just to keep focused on the pack of hound Pokémon leading the charge. Her vehicle kept up easily even in the rough terrain, inbuilt and expensive computer systems automatically working to compensate for every bump and pitch to keep her as level as possible.

They tore into an empty clearing, and the purple-haired woman snarled. Ashes and wrecked equipment were everywhere – she had to weave between a number of burnt-out wrecks that had been Flare vehicles. She even ran over the torched remains of her own tent, embittered but all the more resolved to take revenge. She would eliminate the wretched creature and prove her right to rule in the new world.

Such comforting thoughts in her head, Celosia plowed onwards.


Faint silvery light radiated from Luna’s body for perhaps the fifth time that day. As she closed her eyes and allowed it to envelope her skin, the black-red burns further receded into mere pinkish inflammations. Some of her coat began poking out again in the lesser spots, soft and fuzzy like a newborn foal’s. Unfortunately, the soothing sensation of Moonlight didn’t last. After just a few seconds of it her energy reserves were all but drained again, and she was forced to cease.

Yes. Luna thought. It is certainly far less effective during daylight hours.

Still, that Pecha Berry had been every bit as good as Fearow had said. It tasted like bird saliva, but it had only taken a few minutes for the burning sensation inside of her to start to ebb away. Within an hour of eating it the poison was all but gone, and she could actually recuperate. The healing move helped, but it required power and that required rest.

Not that she had time for it.

Bitter experience had long ago taught her that in wartime there was always something that needed doing, and it seemed that even changing dimensions and species had no effect on that reality. She flapped her wings and descended from the treetops. Several Pokemon were already waiting on the ground for her.

“I kept an eye on their nest like you asked,” said a Fearow, albeit a different one. “Circled it from really high up. Did you know we can fly an entire day without resting?” He puffed out his chest feathers.

“Get to the point,” Houndoom growled. “You didn’t come back here just to preen.”

“I’ll say what I want to say! I’d like to see you and your mutts get that close and not get caught!”

“One of my pack is lost to the enemy, sacrificed to our victory. Insult my kindred again and you’ll direly regret it.” Houndoom showed his fangs.

Fearow spread his wings wide and stood up straighter, clearly unintimidated. “My flock was making sacrifices before you came to beg us for shelter. If you want-”

“Peace!” Luna said in a stern tone, holding out one leg between the two of them. “We are all comrades in this struggle.” She met the gaze of both Fearow and Houndoom one after the other, never allowing her hard blue eyes to falter. “We are all present because we desire the downfall of these rapscallions. To do battle with one another will do nothing to aid in our cause. Therefore cease, or else suffer my ire.” When neither of them said anything, she nodded at Fearow. “Please, continue with your account.”

“Like I was saying,” Fearow ruffled his feathers. “I was circling their funny stone thing when I saw it open up again. There was a big stampede of humans and Pokémon that came out. They made a beeline for the forest and just plunged right in, not even slowing down.”

“Did you espy in which direction they went?” Luna frowned.

“Couldn’t really tell through all the trees, plus I came back here quick as I could.”

“I see.” The princess considered a moment, then turned her head upwards. “Spearow. Take a small measure of your swiftest kindred and depart north. Locate this enemy column and bring me news of its whereabouts and destination. Attempt to discern its numerical strength, if possible, but do not place yourselves in undue peril.”

“…What?”

“Go and find the enemy,” Luna sighed. “Tell me where they are and where they are going. Do not get caught.”

“Oh,” Spearow ruffled its feathers. “Why didn’t you just say so?”

Luna sighed again.


“I like to consider myself a just ruler,” Princess Celestia said, head held straight.

Before the princess, still bound and increasingly ragged, were the five members of Team Flare. They had only been allowed to get up for essential business sparsely over the preceding days, and even then only one at a time. They had had only a little to eat and canteen water to drink, and none of them had the chance to bathe. There was bags under their eyes from lack of sleep, and their prized red suits were smudged with dirt and forest debris.

“Yet I find myself in a dilemma,” she went on. “What to do with all of you?”

Behind Celestia were Rhyperior, Swampert, Nidoking, Barbaracle, Toxicroak, and Fearow. Each of the Pokémon were staring down at their former captors with expressions ranging from cold indifference to just short of rabid. Meowth was perched atop Rhyperior’s shoulder, acting as official translator.

“You are all unquestionably guilty of such crimes as enslavement, attempted murder, attempted child murder, and accessories to attempted genocide. If she is to be believed.” Celestia nodded once at Mable.

The blue-haired woman only smirked.

“Yet I have little in the way of courts to convict and sentence you, and neither the time nor the inclination to attempt to go through the legal proceedings of this world. There are other places and tasks which call to me.” Celestia paused. “So, in lieu of a jury of your peers, I felt that perhaps the most just outcome would be to leave your fates in the hands of those you had so grievously wronged.”

Rhyperior and Nidoking cracked their enormous knuckles. Barbaracle flashed razor-sharp claws, Toxicroak its poison-tipped spikes. Four of the five men and women flinched away. Mable alone seemed unconcerned.

“Too much of a preening coward to kill me yourself?” she taunted. “Have to have someone else do it so your sparkly white hands get to stay clean?”

“But I am also a believer in mercy and redemption,” the alicorn continued, ignoring her. “Therefore, I had a talk with these fine fellows and we eventually hit upon a compromise. I cannot and will not ignore your misdeeds. But neither will I give you no way out.”

“You can take your pity and shove it up-”

“One hour,” Celestia cut her off. “I offer you all one hour’s head start, to flee and hide yourselves away wherever you would. In return, you will tell me all that you know of what is truly happening here. How many are you? Where do you make your abode? What is this plan of yours? Tell me these things, now, and you may go.”

“We’re telling you nothing!” Mable snarled at her, defiant to the end. “I told you before, you may as well just kill us all right now!”

“Wait!” one of the men shouted. “I’m too young to go! I’ll talk! I’ll talk!”

Traitor!” Mable screamed at the grunt, straining with all her might against the bonds. “I’ll choke the life from you with my bare hands, you worthless dung heap!”

Celestia’s eyes began to glow, and all of a sudden the Flare Scientist’s body was enveloped in a soft golden sheen. Her arms were pinned to her sides, her legs locked together, and though she struggled she couldn’t budge an inch any more.

“I’m with him!” one of the female grunts nodded hurriedly.

“I didn’t sign up for this!” a third voice was raised in agreement.

“Don’t leave me here with her!” the fourth grunt said.

“Alright,” Celestia said. “Start talking.”


Less than an hour later, Team Rocket’s balloon lifted off from the ground. Celestia, Twilight, and Fearow were perched atop it as it gained altitude, a southerly air current quickly pushing it in the right direction. In the basket itself, the mood amongst both Team Rocket and the twerps was unusually subdued. No one felt like saying much of anything at that moment.

From on high it was possible to see little red-orange dots that were Team Flare’s grunts. Given the time-limited amnesty the alicorn had promised, they one and all had spontaneously become champion sprinters, fleeing northwards with all their might. As for Mable, the true believer remained defiant, and so remained where she was. It was in the Pokémon’s hands now.

Celestia doubted they’d hear from her again.