Once again the doors closed to the stable booth as once again it materialized down to the ground. The two buddies, were find this time around, it was their new historical warrior friend that was freaking out and screaming like a small child. Yes, the same warrior king that just slaughtered over seventy seals and used their corpses as campfire logs was acting like a baby, though the two would never say that to his face in fear of being his next victim. As Snails watched the king’s reaction and the colors of the time vortex, Snips found something in his pocket in placed in his mouth. After thirty or so more seconds later they had arrived at their destination.
The area again was a forest, this time I was night and there was a full moon in the sky. The forest was very different to any of the ones they had been to in the past including the Everfree back in Ponyville. For one thing the trees all looked twisted, gnarled and for a lack of a better word, “dead.” Another thing was the constant fog that seemed to flow in thick waves at knee level. Snips was the first of the three to break the silence.
“Well we’re here,” exclaimed Snips to his friend and his confused historical hostage.
“Great, but when and where are we exactly,” asked Snails as he observed a massive castle in the background.
“The phone thingy says that we’re in 18XX and in Trotzlevania, remember you wanted to get Count Chocula to join us, well here’s our shot.”
“You seem a lot calmer about this Snips, why?”
“When were in the phone stable I found more leftover mescaline in my pocket during the trip here and I AM TRIPPING THE BUCK OUT right now, dude. Everything looks like it’s made out of felt and you guys look like lizard creatures. So, to answer your question I am both high and just going with the flow,” Snips said as he motioned with his hoof the mime of flowing water.
“Okaaay, well we best be off for our quest young scribes,” said McWalrus with a warrior’s flair as he marched towards the castle which was amazing because he didn’t have legs and instead just slithered there like a snake. .
Within the course of ten minutes they were at the rusty gates of the massive property.
“Lads, there seems to be a bell of sorts, mostly likely to get the attention of the master that lives in this fortress,” said McWalrus as he grabbed the rope and rang the bell. All of a sudden a large bat appeared on the other side of the gate and with a poof it turned into a tall pale white pegasus with a slicked back black mane, bat-like wings and a burgundy colored suit.
Out of nowhere balloons appeared and confetti burst over the three of them, and then the strange pony grabbed them up in a quick hug. To say that they were extremely confused would be an understatement.
“I know every living and nonliving thing on these grounds and if I don’t know you then you must be new and what better way to velcome new guest then with confetti and super amazing balloons,” the stranger said in thick accent in a manner to similar to their Pink party pony friend.
“Oh, I’m sorry where are my manners? My name is Count Chucula: vampire, philanthropist, and chocolate maker extraordinaire. ”
“Humble isn’t he,” whispered McWalrus to Snips and Snails.
“You guys don’t seem worried about the vampire part, most ponies run off after I mentioned that little tidbit of information,” said Chocula.
“The thing is me and my yellow friend here are time travelers and know that while most vampires would gore us out and make cupcakes out of our flesh, but history tells us you never did anything of the sort,” said Snips.
“Okie, dokie, lokie,” exclaimed Chocula.
“Oooh, I know you guys should come in and see my chocolate factory, but don’t be disappointed by the lack of singing enslaved midgets.”
“whaa,” the three save a collective dumbfounded answer as they followed their host.
Three hours later.
“…and finally this vhere I make my infamous chocolate toads. They are infamous because they actually move around a bit before you eat them. Once I get them to move around like living toads, I’m thinking about making a deal to have them given out as special treats in the magical kindergartens of Equestria. I bet the little foals vould love them.”
Chocula paused as he heard the roaring stomachs of his guest. They had been the first guest he’s had in over a hundred years since his first wife died, so he did what any gracious host would do in this situation.
“Vould you three mind joining me for dinner?”
Not worried about time, because they had a time machine they accepted his offer of a free home cooked meal.
Within the course of half an hour they were sitting down at a long thirty foot table that could have seated fifty or so guest. On the table several large serving trays were placed. They the silver lids were lifted revealing a wondrous spread. There were three types of vegetable soups, elaborate salads, fresh fruits, and even a tray of fillets from various fishes for our Walrus king.
“Wow you went all out sir,” said Snails as he looked out at the display.
“Indeed, for this wonderful meal aye WILL NOT gut you like the fish given before the likes of me,” said McWalrus as he chuckled to himself.
“Are we waiting for someone, Count,” asked Snips as he noticed the count was silent and not eating.
“Yes, and she’ll be here any--”
“Father,” a voice exclaimed as a mare dashed into the room and hugged the count. Then the two started conversing about their respective days. Snips noticed two things about the Count's offspring. First off she was young about his own age, but then again if she was a full vampire she’d look young and be over three hundred years old. She had the wings like her father, but that’s where the similarities end. Her coat was pale blue, and her mane was ash gray. The second thing he noticed was a lack of an accent as she didn’t pronounce her W’s like V’s as her father has done we he spoke.
“Oh, I’m sorry gentlemen, this is my daughter Malta and she’s a dhampire.”
“A what,” asked Snails
“Half-breed, yet proud. I have all their strengths and none their weaknesses and the other thing your wondering is why I don't have an accent is because of overseas boarding schools.” said Malta smugly.
“Vell now hat’s out of the vay, let’s eat.”
The others dug into their meals and they noticed a servant bring over a large goblet of what appeared to be blood to the Count.
“Vhat of you looking at? Oh, this. I assure you guys that this vas obtained voluntarily,” said the Count trying to put their fears to rest.
They had finished dinner and moved on dessert, what was impressive to say the least. The thing was during dinner two members of this shared meal were so much into the food as they were into each other. It was lust at first sight, not really love. Yeah, that emotion could happen, but for now across for each other their attraction was purely based on looks as Snips and Malta shared a brief moment. The thing was while Snails had experienced that feeling, it was new to Snips. All his life the only thing that mattered to him was music, math, and getting skull splitting blitzed. Here he was falling and falling deep with something that was half monster.
Moving on from a story of star crossed lovers separated by hundreds of years. Dessert had gone down extremely well. Once it was over the Count asked the one question he had forgotten to ask his guest.
“I never, asked you gentlemen what your purpose was outside my lovely home.”
“Well, us and by us I mean me and my puke colored compadre are from the distant future and never know what historical figures would think of modern Equestria and we thought what better way than to get the figures themselves to address the issue. That explains our Walrus friends here; he’s a warrior king whose defining moment is saving his people from tyranny. So, would you be willing to take some time off your hooves and come with us,” asked Snips.
“I dunno, I’m kinda busy.”
“Please, if you don’t come then we’ll have to find someone else to come with us and our friend Pinkie has always wanted to meet you,” whined Snips.
“Okay, I vill go with your group as long as keeps you from being sad mopey mopes Just let me get some sun block, my saddle bags and I meet you outside the gate.”
They waited for their vampiric guest outside the gates of the castle. Once the four of them were ready they headed towards the time machine and once again the two explained how it worked, well a least their knowledge of it. Just as they we about to leave a female voiced called out.
“Daddy, can I come too,” asked Malta.
“They assure me I’ll be back at the same moment I left, but I still need somepony to watch they factor while I’m gone just in case something happens.”
“Oh, okay,” she said in a disappointed voice as she looked at her father and to Snips in the machine. She left for home just as the Count had suggested.
“Where to now, Snips, ”asked Snails.
“I think you know where. Who is the greatest wizard in Ponydom? No one other than Star Swirl the Bearded,” exclaimed Snips as he punched the date and location into the phone stable’s phone.
“Hey! I barely got any lines in this chapter! The Walrus guy got more lines than me and he’s a freakin OC. I mean I’m interesting, I have a marefirend and I’m Keanue Reeves in this fic. Why no love for Snails, huh?”
“Oh, shut it. Only two characters are allowed to break the fourth wall and that’s me and Pinkie Pie,” yelled Count Chocula.
Next Chapter: We're off to see the wizard.