//------------------------------// // Investigation // Story: The Pinkest Party // by Waxworks //------------------------------// The next day, Fluttershy received a letter. It read: “Dear Fluttershy. I would like to have you over for tea and cakes two days from now. Please come to my room. We will have tea there. -Your friend, Pinkie Pie.” It was a small message, and simple, but it was an invitation. It didn’t mention anypony else, and it didn’t say anything about a party, so Fluttershy wasn’t sure what to make of it. There wasn’t any mention of cupcakes or balloons or anything else. Still, she had a lot of free time, and she could certainly make the time to visit Pinkie. She wrote a quick letter back saying she would love to and left it in her mailbox with the flag up. Two days later, Fluttershy approached Sugarcube Corner with a small bag on her back. She brought some of her own tea just so she could share it with Pinkie. It was a sweet berry tea she’d found and thought the sweet taste would be perfect for her friend. She stepped inside, said hello to Mr. and Mrs. Cake, then went upstairs to where Pinkie’s room was. It was closed, strangely, so she knocked and waited. “Come in,” Pinkie said from inside. Fluttershy apprehensively pushed open the door. The room was dark, with just a few candles sitting at a table in the center of the room. Thick blankets had been hung to cover the windows, and Pinkie was wearing a frilly pink outfit. Her mane was flat on her head, and she motioned to the seat across from her. Fluttershy went in and sat down, staring at the décor. “Pinkie Pie, are you okay? Why is it so dark in here?” Fluttershy asked. “I wanted to make it seem a little more quiet. I thought we could talk. Talk about things that matter. Like friends and friendship.” “O-oh,” Fluttershy said quietly. “I guess I understand. What exactly did you want to discuss about our friendship?” Pinkie poured the tea, which was piping hot. It steamed in the cup as she pushed it over to Fluttershy. “I wanted to talk about treatment of friends, and most of all; respect.” “Respect? Do you feel like I don’t respect you?” “Not you. You followed the rules. You didn’t do anything except ask me to reschedule. The others, though. They weren’t very respectful. Twilight brought Spike, Applejack was dirty and sweaty. Rarity made the rest of us look bad, and Rainbow Dash brushed off my party to go hang out with other friends after she agreed to come!” “Okay…” Fluttershy was nervous, feeling like this was building up to something. “What do you suggest?” she asked carefully. “How do I make ponies respect me?” “Just be yourself. You can’t ‘make’ ponies do anything.” “Iron Will taught you how.” “Iron Will didn’t teach me anything good! He was mean! I was a bully!” “So I should be a bully?” “No! Just be nice! It’s not a reflection on you, it’s a reflection on them.” “So I have to make them change their behavior.” “What? No!” “How will I get them to respect me, then?” “Pinkie Pie, you can’t force ponies to do anything. That’s mean.” Fluttershy sighed. “Why do you want them to respect you?” “That’s a stupid question. Because everypony should be respected.” “But you’re talking about being mean.” “No, I’m trying to get respect.” “You can’t—” Fluttershy stood up. “I’m not going to argue with you, Pinkie. Don’t be mean. I think I should go.” Immediately, Pinkie Pie was up and between Fluttershy and the door. Here eyes were wide, and her face was a terrifying, angry grimace. “No, no, no. You don’t get to leave until we’re done talking about all of this!” Fluttershy tried to push past her to get to the door. “Pinkie, I don’t want to do this right now! I don’t know what ideas you’ve gotten in your head, but they’re bad! You can’t force ponies to do things!” Pinkie Pie grabbed Fluttershy by the hooves and threw her down to the floor. Fluttershy’s head cracked against the wood and her vision swam. “I can, and I will! Ponies will learn to respect me! Just because I like parties doesn’t mean I’m stupid! In fact, I think you and I are going to start a party,” Pinkie said with a grin, “right now.” Her hoof cracked into Fluttershy’s head, and Fluttershy went limp. Pinkie giggled madly to herself. Thankfully, Fluttershy was light. Pegasi typically were, due to their flight bones and innate magic. She was easy to carry, and Pinkie Pie took her to the slide leading down to her party cave. She found a table, swept all the papers off it, then laid Fluttershy down on it. She pulled out a series of kitchen utensils and looked over Fluttershy. Without too much work she could get the pegasus prepared and she wouldn’t even have to change much. There would be respect, and there would be friendly faces at her parties after this. She would stay for tea. That wasn’t in question. She was ready. She was prepared. Pinkie wasn’t a joke. She slammed a hoof on the table and her lower lip trembled. Parties weren’t a joke! She would prove it! Rarity got a letter in the mail. It was from Pinkie Pie, asking her if she would please visit her for tea in two days’ time. She would be waiting in her room at Sugarcube Corner. Rarity wasn’t against tea, or even against Pinkie Pie. It was an easy thing to say yes to the letter, and she left the letter in her mailbox. Two days later, she was on her way to Sugarcube Corner, dressed in a fancy summer outfit with a wide-brimmed hat. She trotted regally in the doors and bid Mr. and Mrs. Cake a fond hello. They nodded back, motioning that Pinkie was upstairs waiting for her. Rarity went upstairs and rapped on Pinkie’s door, then waited. The door swung open to reveal a dim interior with the windows blocked off and just two candles next to a small table. Pinkie was sitting in the dark, smiling. “Oh… well, hello, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said as she walked slowly inside. “What is… all this?” She indicated the room. “This is a private tea party for just us two so that we can talk,” Pinkie answered. Gummy crawled onto the table and blinked. Pinkie picked him up and moved him to the side. “Talk? About what, exactly? It’s a little unnerving if I might say,” Rarity jumped when the door shut behind her. She was sure she had left it open, and nopony was near it. She sat down across from Pinkie, tense and wary. “About us. About me. About you. About parties,” Pinkie began. “It’s been some time since I’ve felt disrespected, but that last party was something else. It really gave me something to think about, especially when it came to Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. I don’t feel like they gave me or my party the respect they deserve.” “Darling, they didn’t mean anything by it. We all have lives outside of you and your parties.” “No!” Pinkie jumped up and put her hooves on the table. She pushed the tea and the cups off the side where they shattered on the floor. Rarity scrambled backward. “Fluttershy was right and wrong at the same time! You all do have lives, but you do not treat me with any level of respect! Just because it’s a ‘Pinkie Party’ doesn’t give you the right to smell bad. That’s rude to the other guests. Nor does it give you the right to bring uninvited ponies—or dragons, as it were—to the party. Nor does it give you the right to brush it off after RSVPing!” “Darling, things happen!” “Then it’s respectful to say so, and apologize for not coming, or saying you’re gonna be late!” Rarity inched toward the door. Pinkie stalked after her. “And you, all dressed up fancy, making others feel like they’re not as fancy or as good or as pretty as you. It makes you the center of attention!” “I like being the center—” “It’s my party!” Pinkie shouted. Rarity flinched. “Who are you trying to impress right now, Rarity? Me, or just everypony around you as you arrived? I don’t think it was for me, so I’ll assume you just wanted to show off to whomever you walked past. Not a thought to actual, lil’ ol’ Pinkie. I’m just a blurb on your daily schedule of stallions to blueball.” Rarity gasped. “Pinkie!” All Rarity could see was Pinkie’s eyes in the dark. She didn’t see the club coming down on her head until she was already unconscious. She crumpled to the floor and Pinkie picked her up. “Trying too hard, Rarity. We’ll make sure you don’t dress too hard to impress this time. You’ll be just like everypony else.” Applejack received a letter from Pinkie Pie. It was short, inviting her to tea in two days’ time. It smelled faintly of perfume, which was strange. Pinkie didn’t wear any perfume besides whatever she picked up in the bakery. It was genial enough, but Applejack couldn’t really find the time to come. She sent her a letter back saying she didn’t have the time, and that a few trees had contracted a fungus. She needed to clear that up before she could be going off willy-nilly to have tea. Big Mac and Applebloom needed her there on the farm. She put the letter in the mailbox and thought that would be the end of it. She was wrong. In two days, she was out in a far section of the grove checking for signs of the fungus when she saw a balloon. It had just enough helium in it to float above the ground with the string dragging along the dirt. It was powder blue, wafting here and there with the faint breeze. It floated behind a tree and she went after it. “Pinkie?” she called. Blackness awaited her. When she woke up she was tied to a chair in a dark room. There was only a single candle in the middle of a table, and the sweet scent of sugar and honey reached her nose. From the darkness into the candle’s light, a pink hoof came. It placed a saucer and a cup in front of Applejack, then disappeared into the black. “Pinkie? What the hay is goin’ on? Why am I here, and why am I tied up? Is this one of your pranks again?” “Hello, Applejack. I hope you didn’t mind me bringing you here, but I really didn’t want to reschedule again. You’re always so busy, I think you deserve a little break, don’t you?” “Pinkie, ah have responsibilities at the farm. Ah can’t be gallivantin’ off, especially when the trees are in danger. Ya wouldn’t expect me to ignore a fire, and this is the same kinda thang.” Pinkie’s face came out of the darkness. The candle light made her eyes look bigger than they were, and the shadows transformed her frown into an unnerving smile. “Applejack, come on. You can’t just keep rescheduling. All work and no play makes Jack a dull mare.” “Ah’m not a dull mare, ah’m a responsible mare,” Applejack insisted. “Now let me go, ah have work to do.” Pinkie shook her head. “No can do, Applejack. We’re going to have tea, and you’re going to like it.” Applejack twisted and struggled in her seat. The ropes bit into her hooves, and she wiggled until her chair fell over. She tilted into the table, knocking the candle to the floor and spilling the tea. Something shattered. Applejack heard a “tsk” sound, then something heavy hit her in the head. “Ow! Consarnit! Somethin’ hit me!” “Damn farmers. Hard-headed in every way.” Pinkie hit Applejack again, and again, and again, until she stopped moving. Pinkie breathed heavily in the dark. Gummy yawned. “I know, Gummy. Maybe one too many times, but I had to take care of her somehow. She ruined tea.” Gummy made a smacking noise with his mouth. “No, I only have two more to go. I’m going to step it up, though. Applejack’s family will notice she’s gone. We’re going to have tea with both Twilight and Rainbow Dash tomorrow. By hook or by crook, we’ll have tea.” Twilight and Rainbow Dash received a letter that same day. It invited them to a tea party at Pinkie’s house tomorrow. It told them to not worry about bringing anything, please. Don’t invite anypony (or anydragon) else. No Starlight Glimmers or Spikes or Embers or Trixies or anything like that. No Spitfires or Soarins or Fleetfoots (Fleetfeets?) or anypony else. Just themselves, and all alone in the afternoon. Predictably, Pinkie received a letter back from both saying they couldn’t make it on such short notice. She wasn’t surprised, but she wasn’t deterred either. She knew how to get them both to agree. She had decided beforehoof that she was probably going to have to do this the hard way, and she was more than ready. Twilight was in her castle, going through her books. She had a stack of them on her desk already, filled with books on several strange topics including; Teaching to the test: How to prepare foals for the working world. And another title called; Expectations and how to Barely Meet Them. Spike was elsewhere in the castle busy making snacks. So Twilight was all alone when Pinkie stepped inside the office. Twilight turned to look at her visitor and smiled. “Hello, Pinkie Pie. I got your letter. I’m sorry I couldn’t come, but I have to prepare a new curriculum for the school. It’s going to have to go by every teacher before I can put it into effect, though. You haven’t seen Fluttershy or Rarity, have you? I haven’t been able to get ahold of them in the past few days.” Twilight turned back to her work while she talked. Pinkie crept closer. “I have, actually. I can even help you get in contact with them. It’s just a matter of… knowing where to look, you know?” Twilight was oblivious to the mare’s actions, and remained facing away, focused entirely on her books. “Oh, do you? Where have they gone? They didn’t say anything.” Pinkie jumped on Twilight’s back. One hoof went around the alicorn’s horn, the other held a cloth in front of her muzzle, and her hind hooves trapped her wings to her sides. Twilight struggled, but every time she attempted to bring her magic to bear on Pinkie, Pinkie jerked her horn back and forth, nullifying the spell. Twilight threw herself back and forth, but Pinkie was used to holding on to fast-moving things. The mechanical bull at the local bar was a breeze for her. She knew how to ride, and she was good at it. As she rode out Twilight’s slowly-weakening efforts, Pinkie thought about how much harder this would have been had she not been best friends with Twilight. It was a pretty major factor in attempting to stop a princess. Chrysalis, Starlight Glimmer, Tirek, and all those others didn’t stand a chance against the princess of friendship, but Pinkie had subdued her so easily just be being her friend. She wondered if that was Starlight Glimmer’s plan, but as Twilight fell to the floor, she dismissed it. She didn’t need to worry. Once Twilight had stopped moving, Pinkie checked her pulse to be sure she was still alive, then shoved her into a sack and slung it over her back. She poked her head out to the door to make sure it was safe, then skipped merrily down the halls and out the door. Nopony really paid her any mind as she wandered into the bakery and upstairs with a lumpy sack on her back. Pinkie had done it often enough with flour, corn, potatoes, and myriad other foodstuffs. Her quirks were accepted as just part of what Pinkie did. Inside her room, she set Twilight up in the chair across from her own, tied her wings to her sides, and jammed a ring over her horn. Then she waited. Twilight slowly woke from unconsciousness and blinked. “Pinkie? What’s going on?” From the darkness on the other side of the table, Pinkie smiled. Her pearly-white teeth glinted in the dark. “Hello, Twilight. It’s tea time.” “Pinkie, what are you doing? You can’t just force ponies to come have tea with you. I have a lot of work to do!” She tried to cast a spell and untie herself, but it fizzled. “What?” “Twilight, were you just trying to leave?” “I can’t stay here, Pinkie. I know you want company, but I can’t be here all the time. Sometimes you have to deal with your problems yourself.” “That’s just going to be unacceptable, Twilight. Rarity’s busy. Applejack’s busy. Rainbow Dash is busy. Fluttershy is the only one who seems to have any time at all, but she’s too scared of me to hang out and have tea lately.” Twilight narrowed her eyes. “You said you knew where they all were. Where have they gone, Pinkie?” “Oh, they’re all here. I invited them for tea. Except Rainbow Dash. I’m going to invite her after you and I have had tea.” “Pinkie, what do you mean they’re all here? Are they tied up like me? Let them go!” “Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. What do you take me for? A monster? They’re all fine, and we’ll all have a nice evening having tea, and nopony will be too busy to have tea with me, and it will be wonderful, okay?” Pinkie’s head bobbed back and forth as she spoke, her flat hair waving with the motion. “Pinkie…” Pinkie stood and forced the cup of tea to Twilight’s muzzle. Twilight struggled to keep her mouth shut, but Pinkie squeezed at her mouth until it was forced open. She poured the scalding hot tea into Twilight’s face, spilling it all over her. She choked and sputtered, moaning in pain. When the cup was empty, Pinkie forced a cake into her mouth. Twilight coughed. “There we go. Delicious tea and cakes. The kind of thing everypony needs to take time to enjoy every now and again. Wouldn’t you agree, Twilight?” Twilight was too busy coughing to answer. “I’ll bring Rainbow Dash soon, then we’ll all have fun, okay?” The room spun for Twilight. She couldn’t keep her eyes open. It was only as she passed out that she realized Pinkie must have drugged the tea. The last thing she saw was Pinkie’s wide smile looking down at her.