//------------------------------//
// Chapter 13: Hill Surfing 
// Story: Anon Begins 
// by 23 KM To Nerdiness 
//------------------------------//

"Okay, so, let me get this straight, he had to DESTROY his own father?!"

"Of course, he offed his mother and squashed his Walkman! AND he tried to annihilate every planet in the universe!"

"W-What's a Walkman?" Spike asks. After gesturing to your player, Spike's face turned into a look of utter disbelief. "Oh. He NEEDED to be destroyed."

Suddenly, a loud gurgling rumble interrupts your conversation.

It's your stomachs.

"Oh no, is Pinkie's pie up for round two?"

"No," you utter. "Think it's the- BUUURRP!!!, Cola talking."

"Ooh," Spike sighs. "It felt so bubbly and- BELCH!, burning!"

"Yeaaah, that happens once in a while. But you get used to it. I just hope Doc knows what he's doing."

Heading further into Ponyville, you see the Doc's home smoking through the window.

"Eh......give or take. Actually now that pie's out of our systems, I could go for something to eat."

"Same," Twi sighs. "A hay burger sounds good right now."

I'm sorry, a hay what?

"I've been meaning to ask, Twilight," you say. "Does every food you have here contain hay?"

"Well......not everything."

"Just checking."

As you and the others make your way to the closest restaurant, Twilight takes you aside while Spike and Starlight continue on.

"We'll catch up in a minute. I need to have a word with Anon."

Uh oh, where's this gonna go?

"Sooo, Anon. About that 'homework' I gave you..."

"Yeah...?"

"Did you complete it?"

You turn to your glimmer of sunshine, who's entering the establishment with your dragon bro with a smile.

"As a matter of fact, I did."

Twilight looks on to see who you were staring at.

"I see. An A+ for you, then."

"There's also Doctor Whooves, Trixie, pretty much every student in Cheerilee's class-"

"A-Alright Anon, I get it." she giggles. "But did you learn anything?"

Oh man, please don't tell me I have to make a whole SPEECH off this?!

"W-Well, just that, despite being turned in a furry against my will-"

DAMN! I should've made a 'What's up Doc?' joke before!

"You should do all you can for your friends, no matter how, shall we say, SHOCKING. And Starlight taught me that well enough."

"Well said, Anon.......I think."

"Yeah, and she gives the best belly rubs."

"What was that, Anon?"

"NOTHING!!!" you blurt out as you zip into the restaurant.



A half hour later the four of you are still eating lunch having a conversation. You ordered a daisy sandwich, hey they kinda grew on you. The two mares both had hay burgers and Spike ate a muffin with shredded rubies on top. How that's not a safety hazard is beyond you. Also you can't believe how much ketchup Twilight has on her meal, it's almost nauseating.

"But yeah, Guardians is the sole reason I listen to those kinds of songs. But what's your favorite out of all of them?"

"Probably 'Don't Bring Me Down'." Spike chuckles.

"Most definitely 'Shooting Star'." Twilight inserts.

"I thought 'Alright' was good." Starlight says.

There was a moment of silence when you snicker at Starlight's sentence. "Heh. 'Alright' was GOOD, that's funny."

All of you spend the time laughing and talking about your jams until you all felt the need to depart. You felt kinda guilty having Twilight pay for your lazy ass.

"I-I'm sorry you had to pay for my broke behind, Twi. I really need to search for a job here."

"Oh, don't worry about it, Anon. It's no big deal."

"But I don't want to take advantage of your hospitali-"

You're suddenly silenced by a purple aura of magic.

"I said don't worry about it!" she huffs, pouting her lips and paying the bill.

"Okay, I won't!" you muffle.

"Although, we are in the need of a new janitor at the school of friendship. If you're interested." Twilight offers with a cheeky grin.

Why am I getting a "Get Out" vibe from this mare?

"When do I begin?"

"We'll get you started around maybe Thursday."

That's two days.

"Until then, you could hang out with your new friend then." she smugly states.

Buck you, Sparkle.

"And who could that be?" Starlight asks smiling.

Sitting next to her, you reach over and scratch the back of her ear.

"You, ya silly filly!" you exclaim playfully.

Starlight twitches as you've clearly found her sweet spot.

(Again, why the hell am I writing this?)

"Mmm, sound nice," she sighs, warmly leaning into your hand. "Too bad, I have to do some researching."

"What?! W-Well......Spike?"

"Sorry, Anon. Got books to reshelf."

I'm not even going to ASK what'll keep Twilight busy!

"Fine, I guess I'll just take a look around Ponyville. Get to know my surroundings better."

"Well, see ya later, bro." Spike waves.

"Yeah, yeah just go 'reshelf those books' already."

You turn to your semi-egghead "pal".

"And YOU! What is this 'research' of yours? Are you reading Fifty Shades of Hay or something?"

"N-No! How'd you know about that book?!"

"I was just joking, Twi! There's actually a book like that here?"

"Well, yes but......w-we don't talk about that book. Wait, you have a story like that in your world?"

"Even we humans don't like to acknowledge it's existence."

Spike, however, stares at you all confused.

"What's.....Fifty Shades of-"

"When you're older, Spike!" Twilight exclaims, dragging the oblivious dragon away. "Anyways, we'll see you later, Anon."

Starlight bids you farewell before following after, leaving you in the middle of town surrounded by unfamiliar ponies.

"Welp.......rocket booting free time."

You take to the skies, clumsily flying through the streets of Ponyville, creating a mental map around town.

As you continue on, you hear a loud beeping sound coming from your boots, a red light flashing.

"That ain't good."

You reach for your walkie.

"Doc? Are there any kinks in these boots?"

"Not that I know of, Anonymous. Just don't fly for more than ten minutes or it'll overheat."

"Uh huh. And if it overheated, hypothetically speaking, how long would it take for it to cool and recharge?"

"Eh, approximately about twenty minutes, old chap."

"Oh....good to know. Bye."

Being up cloud-level, you plummet to the ground. Your body shifts toward a nearby hill and with a sickening THUD, you land on your back, scaring nearby birds away.

"Yeah, I'm......NOT using these again." you wince.

Soon, you drag yourself to a near tree log and rest. "Ugh, pull it together, Anon. It's just your muscles, your bones and your organs."

You relax and take in the tranquil scenery.

Hey, it beats the Everfree. Everything was quiet and peaceful...

"Sure you wanna do this, Scootaloo?"

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

You hear a group of familiar voices having an argument of someone riding a scooter down the hill nearby. As you trace the source of the sound, you find a trio of fillies, two on a large mattress and the other on her scooter.

Soon you caught their eyes.

"Hey, 'sup, Anon!" the orange pegasus says. "How's it hangin'?"

It's those three ponies from Cheerilee's class.

"Hey girls. Whatcha up to?"

"We're about to slide down this hill!"

"That's cool- wait, on a MATTRESS?!"

"Of course! Scootaloo here wants to use her scooter, instead." the yellow filly states.

"That just sounds crazy!" the white filly whines.

"Ya know this is Scootaloo we're talkin' about, right?"

"Heeheehee." Scootaloo chuckles crazily.

"You can't do that!" you grunt.

"Why NOT?! We-"

You pop your bones, pluck off a large sheet of a tree's bark, carve it in the form of a surfboard and place it on the ground.

"Without me." you continue

"Whoa, cool board!"

"Just a little creation of mine I like to call 'hill surfing'. Let's do this!"

The two fillies ready themselves on the mattress while Scootaloo revs up her ride.

"Ready Crusaders......and Anon?"

"Ready!" you all bark.

"Three. Two. On-"

When the three least expected it, you leap into a kick flip and slide down the slope.

"RACE YA!"

"Hey, no fair!" Scootaloo yells, riding after.

The hill itself was extremely steep and warped, so freestyling was inevitable. As massive as that mattress is, it's a shock those two can maneuver it. You decide to spice things up a bit and perform trick after trick. You were surfing circles around the stunned little pegasus.

But she wasn't giving up.

Scootaloo suddenly gains a need in speed and strains to keep up with you, a look of competitive aggression in here eyes. She starts to get closer and closer to you as you reach the bottom of the hill. All seemed lost when she passes you until a rock trips her scooter.

You catch the rowdy pony and her ride mid-air just as you reach the end of your righteous race. At the bottom, you find the remaining two fillies have finally made it to the end, mouths agape.

"That was AWESOME, Anon!" Scootaloo squees in your arms.

"That was crazy! the white filly exclaims. "How'd you do that?!"

"Maximum EFFORT!!!" you pant. "Wooo, who's up for round two?!"

Later...

After you all get the freak-out out of your systems, you soon near a farm surrounded by millions upon millions of apple trees.

A few stands and dinner tables are scattered about, almost like a party's about to go down.

"Jesus, what is this place?"

"This......is Sweet Apple Acres!" AppleBloom states extravagantly.

Does EVERYPONY have to whimsically introduce a location? Seriously, did I stumble into a Steven Spielberg universe?!

"Thanks for the introduction..." you pause, waiting expectantly.

"Oh, the name's Scootaloo."

"And I'm Sweetie Belle!"

"AppleBloom!"

Maybe I'll remember those. Maybe not...