//------------------------------// // It Scares Him // Story: Begone, Horse! // by Snek Eyes //------------------------------// Coming back from Twilight's castle, Anon reflected on the last little bit. All of the mares he has interacted with lately have certainly seemed nice, but just too... forward. 'They're too quick to want sex. No regard for the pony behind the dick or looks. Huhhh... It's good that I ran into that green guy. He was really fucking wise. He really set me straight, and on a better path.' '...Pizza sounds good right now. I want some cheese. Or pepperoni. I just want some food. I wonder if Sugarcube Corner is open right now. A pastry sounds good, but then that's a bunch of empty sugar. Hnghhhhh. I'm fucking hungry! Heh. A cream pie sounds nice, and not the eating kind. Oh, finally. Home.' The door looked so inviting, as where there's a door, there's a bed. Where there's a bed laid the best thing ever. Too bad that when the door was tried, it was locked. "What the fuck? I hardly lock it." It opened on the second attempt. "That... what? Eh. Anyways..." He walked into an empty void of pure nothingness. Nah, not really. Just a room with no lights. "SURPRISE!!!" ...And a FUCKING HEART ATTACK! Out of pure instinct, Anon screamed like a foal and leapt back. The lights came on, and in his adrenaline-ridden state, he took in the six ponies in the house. There were streamers, balloons, confetti, a punch bowl, everything a party was supposed to have. "What- How- ...I- WHAT?!" Anon tried to comprehend how in a short amount of time, his house was transformed from a regular abode to, well, this! "I set this all up!" Pinkie Pie announced. "I knew you wouldn't like a big gathering, so I just got all of my best friends together! Not like there would be any room for more ponies than this, anyways! And don't worry; nopony will come onto you tonight! Now enjoy yourself!" Anonymous.exe is processing data...Attempt failed. The other ponies started to partake in their activities. Anon just went to the punch bowl and poured himself a cup. He needed a moment to process... everything. Pinkie set everything up with attention to detail and atmosphere. She remembered something that he had told her. This was actually very thoughtful of her. He brought the cup to his lips and tilted. *COUGH* All attention turned to him as he spat the liquid out. There was a very shitty taste in his mouth right now. "What the FUCK is this? It's not punch!" "Of course not, silly! It's my special juice I only make for the special occasions!" The smile on Pinkie's face scared Anon. The other ponies seemed nervous and/or scared. "I call it 'Jungle Juice'." "And exactly WHAT is in it?!" "Strawberry juice, orange juice, vodka, a few berries-" "VODKA?!" Anon was getting ready to gag. "I haven't had good experiences with that shit!" Vietnam flashbacks started. The mental picture you have started to turn black and white, with dramatic music in the background. "Eh. Give it time..." The way Pinkie changed her tone, as if knowing the future, was unsettling. Anon had a bad feeling about this... Despite the drink, he could still enjoy the party. Somehow. *** Half of a cup in *** Anon could not feel too much of an effect. He knew that if he had more, however, it could turn bad. VERY bad. He scanned the small crowd, looking for something to do. Pin the tail on Celestia and her royal flank? Nah. Bob for apples? Not interested. But then he saw something, or some pony interesting. He approached Fluttershy, her being alone and seemed like she could use some company. She didn't notice him; her rear was facing him, which was a great view in and of itself. Time to have some... fun. For him. "Hey, Fluttershy." One might have thought Opal got scared by how Fluttershy jumped. "AH! I don't know why, who, what-" She turned and took in what just happened. The wide eyes and frown were quickly replaced with closed eyes and a smile. "Oh. Hi, Anon. How are you liking this party so far?" "I'm okay. You?" "I'm wonderful." Anon leaned in to speak into her ear. "So real quick. How the hell did Pinkie set all this up in a short time?" Fluttershy merely shrugged. "It's Pinkie Pie. Don't question it." He moved back. "Yeah, she is pretty weird... She seems really nice, though." "She actually is. She tries her best to get everypony to be happy, no matter what. Pinkie actually made friends with the most bitter donkey, and helped him find his love from another city." "Really? Wow. Pinkie, weird as she is, does give off that vibe of carefree aloofness. Just go along with the flow kind of pony, you know?" A detail caught his eye. "Speaking of Pinkie, I'm going to get more juice. I'll be back. Don't go far!" *** One cup in *** Anon's head was buzzing. He felt warmth radiating through his body, and his coordination was a little bit off. Just buzzed right now, and now is a good point to stop. A beautiful mane caught his attention. Good thing he could remember who it belonged to right now. "Hey, Rarity!" He made his way over to said marshmallow pony. Her attention turned to him. "I'm quite sorry I broke your muzzle. That was rude of me, and I shouldn't have been that rash." "HMPH." Rarity turned a cold shoulder to Anon, and pouted. Her eyes closed. Well, they were slightly open to see if she could get the reaction she wanted. "Fine. Be that way!" Back to the juice! *** One and a half cups in*** "Wassup, Rainbow Drash!" Anon's words slurred together, he had about 20% coordination, and he was speaker louder than usual. All of those things, Rainbow noticed. "You good, Anon? You seem pretty buzzed." "Pfffft. I'm fantastic! How about you?" "I'm awesome! Oh wait; I usually am." "Dammit, Rainbow." Anon leaned in close. "So that rainbow color is natural in your mane?" "100%. No games here!" "...That's tight. Keep rocking it, Rainbro- Rainbow!" Anon walked back to the juice bowl. He grabbed the handle to get more of the sweet elixir, but a purple aura appeared around it. It just wouldn't budge. He tried again, with the same result. "Anon, take it easy just a little bit." Twilight's voice came from behind Anon. "Twilight. Thanks for watching out, but I'm completely fine. Don' worray 'bout may." "So why are you showing signs that you're drunk? Those are not fine." "Ease up, book horse. Just relax a little bit. We're here to have fun; don't be such a buzzkill." "I'm not being a buzzkill. I'm just watching out for you." "You are an egghead, though." One could almost mistake Twilight for Rapidash at this point. Almost. "I'm not an egghead! I am well-read!" "So an egghead. An adorable egghead, but still an egghead." Deadpan game 10/10. "...adorable?" Anime blushies 200/Kawaii. "Yes. Quite adorable." Anon knew how to work mares, and even a Princess was no exception. "And you know what would make you so much more adorable? If I could get more juice." Well, maybe one exception. "No. I won't allow it. Take a little bit of time and calm down." "Fine..." Anon sighed, desperately wanting more of what he can't have. But he could make small talk. Go from there. Fuck bitches. "So you were born a princess?" "No. I was originally a unicorn, but Celestia gave me wings after I solved one of Starswirl's unfinished spells." "An unfinished spell? By Starswirl? Never heard of that. So you like the wings, or prefer being without them?" "Well, they were tough to get down at first, but now, I can't imagine being without them." "Wow. So, Celestia, huh? You know her personally?" "Of course! She was my personal mentor. Actually, she is more than that." "Hm... Lover?" "NOT LIKE THAT!" Caught up in her remark, Twilight didn't notice Anon now going for the juice. "Hey!" "Gotcha. But thanks for looking out, book horse. I'm better now, but it's a party. Let's live it up!" He went from the purple alicorn to a bubble-gum colored earth pony. "Hey, Pinkie!" She turned. "Hey, Anonymous! Enjoying the party?" "Fuck yes! I don't know how you did it, but I like it!" A hoof wrapped around Pinkie's neck, and their bodies came closer. "Thank you for this. It's really thoughtful of you." "Aw, shucks. Don't worry about it, Anon. As long as you're happy, we're good!" They pulled away from each other. "I'm happy! And buzzed! But HOW did you do this in a short time?" "Heeey. That's a secret. A Pinkie Pie secret!" "Well, keep your secrets, and I'll keep this juice. I fucking love it!" "I knew you would!" The grin from earlier returned. "...That's what you meant? You knew I would like it?" "Yup!" "...I don't know if you're psychic or psycho. Kind of too drunk to care." *** Two cups in *** "Hey, Applejack!" "Hey, Sugarcube! Enjoyin' yourself so far?" "Yea, but I've got something to settle with you." "What? What do you have to settle?" "You kissed me on the lips. Nopony has ever done that. Honestly, kinda pissed about that." "Ah... Well... That was a heat of the moment thing, and I'm sorry for doing that. I didn't plan on doing it." "Hush, Applejack. You took my first kiss, but I didn't participate. If you want to actually kiss me, I'm here right now." *Hic* "Sugarcube, as much as Ah want to, I can't do that and sleep at night. It's wrong." *HIC* "Ok, fine. I was just joking anyways." "Nah, ya seemed serious enough." "Shaddup. *HIC* But I'm seriously tired... I'm going to bed." Anon started to move in the direction of the bed, and started putting one hoof in front of the other... then passed out then and there. One might think he died if no one knew he had drank alcohol from how sudden he fell. A suspicion crept into Twilight's mind. "...Pinkie, how strong was that vodka?" "Eh. Something like 170 proof, whatever that means." "PINKIE! THAT MEANS IT'S 85 PERCENT ALCOHOL!" Being Pinkie, she didn't quite get it. "...That's good, right? Get drunk quicker, and have more fun, all that shit!" "PINKIE! Just- *PISSED OFF SIGH* Let's make sure we get him on the bed, and he isn't sleeping on his back. Then we'll leave." "Would it help if somepony stayed with him through the night?" "No, that wouldn't be necessary." Was that jealousy? No one will ever know. Even I don't. "I don't have much going on, so I don't mind staying the night." "Well, if you're sure, go for it." Twilight used her magic to grab Anon's sleeping, drooling body and started towards the bed. Meanwhile, Rarity bitched. "How can one be so uncouth?! Drooling? EW!" And Twilight shut her down. "He's asleep. No control over what his body does." She looked at one certain thing, and blushed heavily. "Absolutely no control," she mumbled to herself. With a feather-light touch, Anon was settled into bed on top of the blanket. His body instinctively went into the fetal position for warmth. The utter look of peace on his face made the six others "AWWW". Except Rainbow. She doesn't do that shit. Applejack approached and grabbed the blanket to put on top of him. "Applejack, dear, I should have done that. I'M the generous one, after all." Rarity struck a pose to accentuate her point. "...Rarity, we know. You brag about this shit all the time! Let's just go!" Remembering the conversation from earlier, Twilight looked at the pony staying behind. "Um, have fun, I guess." "Definitely." With that, the pony got in bed and snuggled right next to Anon. She looked over his face and couldn't believe she was going to sleep with the personification of beautiful! The tent under the blanket caught her attention, and she blushed heavily. "Wow..." As much as she wanted to pounce right now, a yawn told her that wouldn't be the best thing right now, for biological and moral reasons. She got as close as she could to Anon's body, their warmth becoming one force. With one last inhale before crashing out, she spoke one last thing. "Good night. For me."