Don't Play Back

by Needling Haystacks


Chapter 1

A few hours after Pinkie Pie's impromptu yovidiphone performance, six ponies in a balloon flew over a rocky field on their way to Ponyville.

"Ooh ooh! There's Maud! HI Maud!" Pinkie Pie said, waving her hooves down at her sister. The gray pony with the purple mane pulling a cart stacked high with boxes did not react.

"I don't think she can hear yah, Pinkie," Applejack said.

"Aw... Oh, I know!" Pinkie Pie said excitedly, "Maud, I'M PLAYING TGHE YOVIDIPHONE AGAIN!"

Pinkie grabbed her brand-new yovidiphone and took a deep breath.

"Uh, Pinkie Pie, darling?" Rarity began. Too late, as Pinkie blew into the instrument with all her might.

Bllllat! Blah blah blaaaat!

The music was not good, but it did get Maud's attention. Unfortunately, it also somehow extinguished the balloon's flame and emptied the hot air from it. Several of the ponies screamed as they plummeted to earth. Pinkie Pie kept playing. Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkled tried to fly out, but a blast from the yovidiphone blew out the tether cords, defying all probability by tangling both of them up.

Maud, seeing this, shook off the harness to the cart. In one quick motion she lifted the boxes out of the cart while she stood in it, then tossed them on the other end, catapulting her into the air. A trampoline expanded out of one of the boxes, flying below her. Maud grabbed the balloon's basket, redirecting their momentum towards the recently-landed trampoline. The whole group landed safely a short distance away. Pinkie finally stopped playing.

Several ponies' mouths hung open.

"Uh, wow," Rainbow Dash said from her still-tangled position

"Nice catch Maud!" Pinkie said.

"Yes," Maud said flatly, "Are you here for your things?"

"Oh! Right, so all my friends convinced me that even if I'm reeeeeaaallly bad at it, I should still play the yovidiphone because it makes me happy!" Pinkie said.

The rest of the ponies were just managing to get Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle untangled.

"I could have told you that," Maud said. She extended a hoof to help Rainbow Dash up.

"Then why didn't you say something?" Rainbow Dash asked, slightly annoyed.

"You didn't ask," Maud said.

Twilight Sparkle sighed. "Let me guess, Pinkie didn't tell you that all this started because we said she would be wasting her time?"

"Of course not, silly! I wouldn't want her to think you're mean!" Pinkie supplied. Other ponies groaned.

"But Maud, you're super the best at everything!" Pinkie continued, "Unless you've been keeping secreeets?" On the last word she put a hoof around Maud and narrowed her eyes conspiratorially.

"Well, I know I'm not great at comedy," Maud said.

"What? You're hillarious!" Pinkie said.

"Thank you, but not everypony thinks so," Maud replied.

"Rarity! Is this true?!" Pinkie asked, suddenly turning to Rarity.

"Well, ppssh... I... um... Rainbow Dash!" Rarity said, hemming and hawing.

"Oh no, we're not going through this again," Twilight said, "What's she's trying to say, Pinkie, is that a lot of Maud's jokes are kind of... specific."

"They used to be all about rocks," Maud said. There was a pause while everypony stared at her. "I've widened my repertoire sense then, but I still have trouble with the most important aspect of comedy."

"Oh? What's the most important aspect of comedy?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"Timing," Maud replied, answering the question in a perfectly normal fashion.

"Pfff... Ahahaha!" Pinkie Pie laughed.

"Uhhh, sugar cube?" Apple Jack said, "I ain't sure that's how that one's supposed to go."

"Exactly," Maud said, "But I keep at it because it makes me happy. I don't know if I've gotten any better, but I never stop trying to improve. I just practice for a sympathetic audience first."

"Oh yeah!" Pinkie Pie said, "So maybe I can practice for my friends before I play for the rest of Ponyville?"

"Sure!" Fluttershy said, "Oh, but... maybe not at night?"

"Or while Ah'm tryin' tah harvest apples?" Applejack said.

"Or while I'm sewing?" Rarity added.

"I also practice in front of a mirror," Maud said.

"But mirrors don't have ears," Pinkie Pie said, "Oooh, what about an echo canyon?"

Twilight Sparkle's face lit up. "I think I have a better idea."

This was the sort of point where a scene would normally fade out, but Maud interrupted the mood.

"So should I take your things back to Ponyville?" Maud asked. Everypony looked over at the cart. The boxes were scattered about. Glitter, sprinkles, and frosting had spilled out onto the ground. While they watched, a few balloons broke free and floated away.
"A few things might be broken," Maud said, "Sorry."

"I think we can all pitch in," Twilight Sparkle said, looking around at her friends.

This time the mood did stay.


A few days later, in ponyville, an odd struture stood near the entrance to the cave system where Maud worked. It appeared to be a shed made entirely of concrete. Inside were seven ponies, a yovidiphone, and a contraption similar to a record player.

"So you can play into this recording device and play it back!" Twilight Sparkle said.

"And the walls are made of a mix of concrete and a highly vesicular volcanic glass powder commonly known as pumicite," Maud said. On seeing other pony's confusion she added, "It's a type of rock that absorbs sound."

This was a gross simplification, but it seemed to satisfy everypony. Maud was unsure why most ponies accepted such explanations, but she knew that they did.

"So now you can practice all you want without disturbing any animals," Fluttershy said.

"Or ponies," Rainbow Dash added.

"Girls, you're the best!" Pinkie Pie said, grabbing everypony into a big group hug. After a moment, first Applejack then the rest pushed away.

"We'll just leave you hear to practice then," Applejack said.

"Yes, and next time we all have a day off together, we'll come listen to your recital," Rarity said.

Pinkie grinned and waved, then took up her yovidiphone. The other ponies started exiting a little faster. Maud held the door open for them. Pinkie drew a deep breath as the last of her friends filed out. As Maud closed the door, Pinkie began to play with a huge smile on her face, or as much as she could manage while playing. Maud smiled as the door shut.