*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
For the past few days, Twilight was holed up in the castle, and any attempt to see her was met with Spike shooing away the guest. Hopefully, today would be different.
The door opened, Twilight greeting her friends. "Hey. Sorry I've been holed up, but did you know that you can't determine an electron's position and velocity at the same time? Did you also know that apples can cause ponies to discover new forces of nature?!"
"Ah knew that!" Applejack spoke up from the back. Of course she would know that...
Twilight scanned over her friends, relishing the faces. There would be a lot they mayo may not ketchup on. But she noticed something. "Why do you all have nose plugs?"
Rarity started bawling her eyes out. "Why is that the only thing ponies will focus on?! I am more than my muzzle!"
"At least ponies don't worry about blood going into their food! It isn't even bleeding anymore! It just hurts a lot!" Pinkie bitched.
"That's why speed is my friend. If they can't see ya, they won't say anything!" Rainbow preened.
"Seriously ya'll, if anypony says anything, I'm going to buck them and make them understand mah pain."
"All right, come in and we'll talk," Twilight interjected, "and don't bleed anywhere. Fluttershy, why do you not have them as well?"
"Oh. Um... I'll tell you later."
They all corraled into the throne room and took their respective seats. Going to her own, Twilight figured since they probably wouldn't start talking on their own, she had to start. "So what happened?"
"We met at the spa-"
"I went to his house-"
"I met up with Pinkie-"
"He bought one of mah pies-"
"Angel ran off-"
"One at a time! Since Fluttershy doesn't have nose plugs, I want to hear what she has to say!"
All eyes focused on Fluttershy. She slightly cowered at the attention, but pushed forward. "Um, Angel ran off and went into a house. I met a very nice, attractive stallion, and we actually had lunch together. That was very nice." She blushed slightly, remembering the experience.
"Wait, darling. He took you out to lunch?! And didn't punch you?!" Rarity couldn't believe it.
"Well, he made lunch and invited Angel and I inside to eat. We just talked, really. He was a very nice host."
"You ate INSIDE of his house? He allowed that?" The other ponies were in severe disbelief, and they could hardly breathe. It was getting loud. Too loud. "What did you do so special to not get a broken muzzle?!" Rainbow asked.
"We just talked. Nothing too special."
Twilight had to take control back of the conversation. "OK! So Fluttershy said her piece. Rarity, what happened?"
Before even a word was uttered, she had to fix her mane up real quick. "Oh. Ahem." With a deep breath, "we met at the spa and talked. I tried to figure him out, and he was very nice. But then I tried to seduce him, and he punched me and called me a whorse." Rarity's fainting couch appeared behind her, there if needed. "Nopony does that to a lady!"
"What did he look like? He must've been attractive for you to try your charm." The more Twilight knew, the better she could act.
"Simply divine, darling."
"Ah agree with that."
"There's no denying THAT!"
"He made me wet in ten seconds flat!"
"I really liked how he looked."
"Attractive? Check." Of course, a checklist appeared next to Twilight for her to keep up on. "Any defining characteristics?" After seconds of silence, she left that one blank.
She ran through the list, which I am too lazy to describe.
"So, this pony is basically every mare's dream. I have some shit to work on, but I'll find him and fuck him. UP!" Twilight's amended sentence went unnoticed to everypony but her. "He needs to learn a friendship lesson..."
***
"Hey. How can I help you?" Spike said to the stallion he opened the door to. Spike wasn't that gay, but damn, this stallion was hot! But Spike didn't expect him to stare a bit.
"A dragon? Wow." The stare was broken. "Anyways, I need a book on the complete history of music, preferably unabridged." Having to do this many times a day, Spike was used to memorizing many details and already mentally sorting books to get the best one.
"I know what you need! 'The History of Music, Theory, and Musicians'." Spike grabbed the thick book from the bottom shelf. It seemed to be about 750, maybe 800 pages packed with information. "I just need your name real quick."
The book landed on the stallion's back; it was going to be a long way home. "Oh. My name's Anonymous. Thank you for this-"
"SPIKE!" Twilight's voice rang out as she came inside of the room. "I need all these books sorted-" She saw the guest and stopped. As smart as Twilight was, she didn't know anything about romance. Well, other than that book Cadance gave her when she became a princess, called "Pony Sitra" or something like that. But Twilight liked what she saw, and wanted more. So she approached while saying, "Spike, can you give us a moment? Just read your comics or something?"
"Oh, thank you, dictator! Thank you!" He literally flew to his room to get busy with... stuff.
It was a bit awkward, so Twilight went with what she knows best and was obvious. "You only have one book? Sure you don't want more books?!"
"I'm good with one book."
Nine books levitated from the shelves and flew over to Twilight. "Are you sure? What about history of magic? Starswirl the Bearded? Personal diary- oh shit." That specific book was tossed yards away. She started right back up like nothing ever happened. "Newpony's three laws? Calculus?"
"No, Princess. I'm good."
"If you're sure..." The eight books teleported to their original locations. "I just have to check the books out over here." Twilight trotted over to the paper on the stand, and saw the name. She started putting mental pieces together...
"Um, the dragon already did that."
"...So you're the stallion that punched my friends' muzzles?" A little spark of fire was lit. Anon had about five seconds to save his ass before gasoline was added.
"Yes, I am."
"Why would you hurt my friends? That's absolutely unacceptable!" The gasoline was added, and Anon's next sentence could be his last.
"If you listen to my side of the story, I can tell you why I acted the way I did and why it is acceptable."
Intrigue filled Twilight. "Oh really? My friends told me everything I need to know. What more can you tell me?"
"I acted that way because they were trying too hard to get me."
"Bullshi- oh. What?" That was unexpected as all hell.
"Again, Princess, let me speak and you'll understand. I assume you know Fluttershy, and you noticed she has a perfectly fine muzzle. It's simple. All of the others tried to get with me too fast, rather than just chill and be themselves. Rarity was overdramatic and tried to stroke my ego, Pinkie is just weird, Rainbow is too forward, Applejack took my first kiss, but Fluttershy was relaxed. Calm. That's why I like her."
"...So by trying to come onto you, they were not genuine?" Twilight wanted to make sure she had it right.
"In simple terms, Fluttershy is the best pony I've met so far. The others are just too weird."
"But they are great friends! If you just told them to back off, they would've, and you could have four more amazing friends!" Twilight was getting heated, in more ways than one.
Frustration showed on Anon's face. "That's what Applejack said, before kissing me."
"...Can you blame her? You are pretty cute, after all. Just saying!"
"I know I'm attractive! By the way, take the advice I'm saying right now. I know your mind is racing right now."
Blushies filled Twilight's cheeks. "...No it's not! I'm just thinking of... um... the difference between hyphens, em dashes, and en dashes!"
"Hyphens connect two or more words, en dashes signify a range, and em dashes are used for interruptions. Nice excuse."
Twilight threw her head back and sighed. "Anonymous, I'm not thinking about you and what can happen between us!"
"Then look me in the eyes and say that without blinking."
"Fine!" Her head snapped, eyes ready to make a statement. "I am not- not thinking-" The eyes she saw were just entrancing and beautiful. The urge to blink got harder to resist. "Not- not thinking... Not- UUUUUGGGH!" She finally blinked. "OK. Yes! I'm thinking about you and what could happen! Happy?!"
"Good. Honesty is always good. So... with what I said in mind, would you like to do anything?"
"We can read books, discuss books, have a book fight- Aaaaahhhh! I wish, but I have a lot of stuff I need to get done. Maybe rain check for sometime soon?" She smiled slightly. The hope of hanging out soon flickered, dependent all on Anon.
Anon turned towards the entrance and started leaving. "All right, Princess. I'll see you around." He passed through the door and was gone.
"Finally, some wholesome ponies who don't immediately bend over for me."