Chapter One Hundred and Seventy-Three
As it turns out, there was no amount of booze that would help wipe the event from my mind. All it did was make me angrier and angrier the more I thought about it. In the end, Twilight had to teleport me upstairs and force me to sleep before I could do something Cadance would regret.
That put me in Aqua’s very wet prison in my mind. “You’re definitely going to feel this in the morning,” she warmly told me as she seeped up my legs to hug me.
“Can you just not fucking touch me?” I asked. The drunkenness left me when I fell asleep, but the anger was still there.
“I am not the one you are mad at,” she whispered in my ear. “Look at what Cadance did to you. She knew you weren’t interested and yet she changeling-napped you and refused to let you leave until she got what she wanted.”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’m angry at you, too. Feeling your disgusting slime all over me just makes me want to peel my skin off. But right now, I am furious at Cadance.”
“She used you. She ignored your desires.”
“You mean like you?”
That made her giggle. “I am not your sister, am I? I didn’t betray you.”
“You kinda did, but you’re too much of a bitch to ever admit that what you did was completely evil and irredeemable, so there’s really no point in wasting time dealing with you.”
“But not Cadance. You should confront her.”
“Yes, I should. And I will. But not while I’m angry.”
She chuckled and started toying with my hair behind my back. “Your anger gives your words weight, Navarone. Calmness betrays you. It makes you hide things. Anger forces it out in the open. If you wait to confront Cadance, you will never get this demon off your mind. It will haunt you forever.”
“You’re trying to turn me against her. You want me isolated, alone.”
“No,” she softly replied. “No, Navarone, that is what you want. I am trying to guide you down the right path. The path of honesty and integrity. I want you to tell Cadance the truth.”
“That I only slept with her husband to get back at you?”
She sighed and dropped my hair so she could hug me. Her cheek rested against mine as she glowed pink and turned warm. “Do you know why we wear our emotions on our sleeves, my lovely little lady?”
“Something something complete honesty?”
“Precisely. The fact that I glow pink around you is proof of my love. Whenever you make me red…” Her warm pink swapped to harsh red and her grip tightened. “...it shows that you have disappointed me. When I am blue with sorrow…” She finally pulled away from the hug and swung her body around so she could look me in her eyes. At the moment, it looked like they were dribbling tears as she sank into a deep blue. “...you’ve broken my heart. Why won’t you love me back, Nav? All I ever do is give you good advice! I’ve only ever done what’s best for you!”
“You are just completely fucking psychotic, aren’t you?”
“I just want you to love me back! I give so much but all you do is hurt me!”
“Well, stop being so shit. Listen, if you leave my body, I’ll sing your praises all over the place. Honestly, I agree that Celestia needed to get got. I’m glad you did it for me so I didn’t have to kill her. But this shit is honestly fucking with me hardcore and all it’s doing is stressing me out to the point that I want to die. I mean, you’re inside me right now. I’m sure you know it. You can’t be that delusional yet.”
She turned bright red again. “You just wanna spite me! You know I’m good for you, you know you needed to be reigned in! How many times before I took you did you come to us for help? How many mistakes have you made since you forsook Flo? You can deny it all you want, but you know it deep down, Nav: You’d be dead within a month without my help. If not Celestia, something worse. Like, I don’t know, bounty hunters from the Chinese mafia.”
“I can’t deny that water elementals have their uses, but I’d rather die than be a slave. Especially a slave to a psychotic yandere bitch.”
Her body shifted back to dark blue. “I’m sure you’ll come around,” she sighed, patting me on the head. “I’m getting tired of waiting, though. I may have to start punishing you soon.”
You know what, now seems like a good time to go see Cadance. Her warm giggle wasn’t comforting at all and she didn’t seem to have any other reply, so I disappeared from that dream and went into the anteroom. Thankfully, she let her body disappear as well.
After I shivered from the disgusting feeling left on my skin, she sighed. “That really hurts my self-esteem, Navi. I want to be close to you!”
“I want to be as far from you as possible. If the only way I get to be away from you is by being around others, then I guess it’s time I got more friends.”
“That’s the spirit! After all, friendship is magic!”
“Man, eat a dick.” I finally thought about Cadance and felt my head turning. I was in front of her white dream before Aqua could reply.
“Is that what it would take?” Aqua asked. “Would giving me orders as well put you at ease?”
“I’d give the same order every time and you’d never follow it.”
She sighed and it felt like one of her hands caressed my shoulders. “Compromise is how relationships work, Nav. We’ll find one yet, I promise. We will make this work!”
I walked into Cadance’s dream without another word.
In my haste to escape Aqua, I didn’t bother scanning the dream or really even coming up with something to say. As it was, I found myself in what looked like a school of some kind. I was in a hallway full of young ponies, none of whom seemed to notice me. It only took a few seconds of looking to pick out the obvious pink alicorn, just as young and clueless as the rest. The only odd part was the complete lack of sound.
Her eyes were on another, though. She was staring at what had to be Shining Armor, judging by his cutie mark and the fairly empty expression on his face. “Celestia lets her guards to go school?” I asked.
“She does not usually have them trained from birth, no,” Aqua replied.
“I figured she wouldn’t let them learn anything. Best way to keep them under her hoof, after all.”
Aqua chuckled and warmly patted my head. “She’s bad, but not quite the tyrant you make her out to be. She loves her subjects and wants what’s best for them. But we didn’t come here for her, did we?”
“Let’s watch,” I replied, turning into a random colt from Ponyville. “Dreams reveal much.”
“Your anger weakens with every moment here, Navarone. You must confront her while the pain is fresh.”
“Who are you talking to?” Cadance asked. All the other ponies around us vanished, including Shining Armor.
“Well, I suppose I gave myself away,” I replied, morphing back to my own body. “Do you know me, or are we gonna have to make this difficult?”
Cadance sighed and grew several years in front of me. “Hello again, Navi. I honestly wasn’t expecting to see you so soon!”
“I gotta warn you now, Cadance: I’m not happy.” Her grin took a hit. “In fact, I’m pretty fucking pissed.”
“...Oh. Why?”
“Don’t.”
She sighed again and looked away. “...I knew it was the only way.”
“Only way to do what, Cadance? Fuck me? Betray me? Lose me?”
Her eyes met mine once again. They had lost all sense of mirth. “I would lose you in a heartbeat if it meant saving him.” I leaned back on my heels and crossed my arms. “He needed this. I’m sorry that I hurt you, Nav. I really am. I never wanted to abuse you or your trust. But I had to help him and this was the only thing I could think of.”
“That makes no sense, Cadance. There was nothing wrong with Shiny! He was just being a big fucking pussy!”
She slowly shook her head. “You know better than that, Nav. Something about you… changed him. It may have been something you said or something you did, but my Shining Armor was never the same after he met you. In some ways, that’s good. In others… He was broken, Navarone. Something you did broke my husband. I don’t know what it was and I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but he had to be fixed.”
“And you thought sex would be the answer?” I asked. “You thought kidnapping me, locking me up and refusing to let me leave, then getting me high on lust so I couldn’t say no to pity fucking your husband would do it?”
“He needed to see that you could lose! He needed to see that he could beat you!”
I slowly shook my head. “That’s neurotic, Cadance. I’m… nothing. A nobody. An accident. Hell, an aberration. I’m literally a monster to you ponies and you’re telling me that your husband has inadequacy issues about me.”
“Had. As far as I can tell… he’s cured. After finishing up our wonderful evening, we returned home.”
“Oh, and you think that excuses what you did?”
“Absolutely not,” she said. “I knowingly used you and there is no excusing that. It was never my intention to hurt you, Nav. And it was never my intention to cause you distress or anger. I just needed your help and I knew you’d never agree, not after everything else I did to pique your interest. I saw an opportunity and I took it. If the price for my husband’s mental health is our relationship… so be it.”
“...And you knew this would work?”
“I suspected. I would have let you go without a backwards glance had my husband not stood up for himself. When he did, I knew I had my answer. It may mean nothing after what happened, but thank you, Nav. You helped cure my husband of something that has been eating at him for too long.”
I dropped my hands and slowly walked closer. She stood her ground. I guess I could understand that, since this was only a dream, but I had a feeling the look on my face wasn’t pleasant. “You’re better than that, Cadance.”
“Better than what?” she asked.
“Better than Celestia. Better than using people. You could have told me. You could have told Shiny. You could have given me the option of helping instead of just taking it!”
“How many times have I asked you?” she asked. “You shot me down harshly every time.”
“You asked me for sex,” I coldly said. “Pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“And that is all Shiny needed.”
“No, you didn’t need sex…” I grabbed her by the horn and pulled her in close. “YOU NEEDED HELP! You needed my help and I am always there for you!” I pushed her back. “That’s what family is, Cadance. We don’t use each other, we help each other. If you told me what this meant to you, I would have swallowed my morals in a heartbeat and did whatever you needed. But you chose to use me. You chose to burn a bridge, not strengthen it. You didn’t ask for help, you forced me to obey.”
“And how is one supposed to ask for that, hm? What was I supposed to tell you, Nav? That you broke my husband? That you… ruined what could have been a perfect marriage just by existing? That somehow, you destroyed something I held dear without even knowing that you had done it? And then I was supposed to just ask you to help me fix it?”
“Yeah, all that woulda been a pretty good fucking start. When have I ever let you down?”
“Never,” she immediately replied.
“When have I ever been out of my element?”
“Rarely.”
“When has a weird situation ever completely stumped me?”
She sighed and looked away. “I’m sorry, Navarone. I made a judgment call to save the one I loved. I… screwed up. I made a mistake. The only saving grace is that it did help my husband, yet I sense it means little to you.”
“Not compared to betrayal.” She flinched. “I mean, it’s good or whatever that your marriage is fixed, but I can’t help but feel that jumping straight for my magic vagina to solve your husband’s premature ejaculation skipped a few steps.”
“I tried everything else! Every home remedy, old mare’s tale, and spell! They all failed! I didn’t know what else to do…”
“Because, you know, asking me for help was right out.”
“I did ask you for help. You gave me bandaids, ways of hiding the problem. I wanted it fixed.”
“That didn’t stop you from plowing his ass anyway.”
“...I didn’t expect him to say yes. I was hoping it would be a daunting enough subject to discuss that he’d try to find ways to fix his issue instead.”
“So you turned him into a quickshot buttslut.”
She nodded. “That’s right.”
“And it still wasn’t enough for you.”
She blinked a few times. “I… I’m sorry?”
“A marriage with your perfect dream stallion, a loving and beautiful daughter, living the life of a princess, always being wealthy and never going hungry… It wasn’t enough? You had one little problem in an otherwise perfect life and you just couldn’t learn to live with it.”
It took her a few seconds to come up with a reply to that. When she did, it honestly wasn’t what I was expecting. “You of all people should know better than that, Nav. I didn’t do this for me, I did this for him. I would pay any price to make him smile. And so what if I benefit, too? What’s the point in living if you aren’t going to strive to make things better? If you don’t try to iron out all the little imperfections? I was happy with my husband before, of course. He could never disappoint me. But that doesn’t mean I can’t want more. Call it selfish if you want, but you know what I’m talking about.”
Aqua scoffed. “What a selfish little princess. I wonder if she ever cared about you.”
Don’t interfere.
Cadance was continuing anyway, though. “I know you’re hurt. I know you’re angry. But you don’t know love like I do, Nav. You can’t understand what I feel for my husband. All I can do is hope that you’ll be able to forgive me anyway.”
“Will you accept a… compromise?” I slowly asked.
“And what is that?” she asked.
“I control dreams, as I’m sure you know. I’ll let you live in the worlds you would have had without me. Where, if I wasn’t there, you and your husband would have been defeated. Do you agree to that?”
She stared at me in silence for some time before quietly asking, “And you will forgive me if I do?”
“After that, we’ll have a talk,” I said. “And one fun thing to remind you, Cadance: Dreams go where you expect them to. I will paint the circumstances. You will provide the details. And I gotta say, I’m looking forward to the results.”
She smirked. “You’ve always been sadistic, Navi, but you used to spare me.”
“You used to be my sister. I’m hoping after this, you will be again.”
She sighed and looked away. “...So be it. Then what is it to be, Nav? What do you have in store for me?”
I suddenly appeared before her and pressed a finger against her forehead. “Lose yourself.” Her eyes slammed shut and she fell into a trance. I took a moment to collect my thoughts before nodding and snapping. The world changed and Cadance woke up to a nightmare. Her eyes kept recognition for only a moment before she was swept up in the dream.
Cadance was chained by the neck to the ground in a filthy cell deep underground. Chrysalis was standing in front of the bars with Shining Armor next to her. His gaze was completely vacant, though he grinned whenever he looked at Chrysalis.
“I was hoping to avoid fighting Celestia, but I suppose it resulted in the best outcome,” Chrysalis said. “Now then, you’re coming with me. I have uses for you.”
“You’ll never get away with this!” Cadance shouted as drones undid the bars of her cage.
Chrysalis looked at her and smirked. “And who is going to rescue you? Now move it, princess.” I disappeared from the dream and backed away from its oily-black hue.
“That’s certainly one way to do it,” Aqua said. “For what it’s worth, I agree that this is a fair punishment. If she’s willing to live a life without you, she must understand what that truly means.”
“I’m just worried what her mind will create. I’ll keep a close eye on her and step in when things start going too far.”
Aqua tsked at me. “That’s not how we learn and grow, Navi. Mistakes and pain teach us many lessons.”
“I believe in mercy and fairness.”
A throat cleared behind me and I spun around to find Luna. “To whom do you speak?” she asked.
“A water elemental,” Aqua said for me. “What brings you here, Luna?”
“Celestia has summoned me back to Canterlot,” she replied.
Aqua let me talk again, so I said the first thing that came to mind. “...What?”
“In a few weeks,” she added. “She wasn’t specific when. Do you know why she is summoning me?”
“I’m out of Equestria for a little while,” I replied. “I’m not sure exactly when I’ll be back, but it’ll definitely be a few weeks. I have no clue what else is going on, though.”
She sighed deeply. “Then it is time to kill her,” she solemnly said.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Every time Celestia needs to kill somebody immediately, she summons me back to Canterlot. There could be no other reason for her to take this risk. I believe she wants to put you down. We must use this opportunity to ambush her! It is time to gather our allies.”
I lifted a hand. “Luna, relax. Celestia and I had a talk. We’re aware that we need each other.”
She shook her head. “That’s how it always goes. Celestia smooths things over so you let your guard down. Then when you’re vulnerable, she strikes. You must take this seriously, Navarone. Even if I am wrong, trust me when I say that it is better to be safe than sorry.”
“Fair enough. Who can you bring to the table?” I asked.
“Myself and Reginald. If it comes to it, he will make a feint for the city to divert her attention from us.”
“No need,” I said, shaking my head. “The guard is firmly on our side. Blossom and I are totally besties now. She’s super cute!”
Luna grinned. “I see you are finally enjoying your new life.”
“...Sometimes. Definitely bring Reginald, but keep him in reserve.”
“So who else do you have up your sleeve?” she asked.
Can I trust her?
“Absolutely,” Aqua replied.
“Moonbeam, Cadance and Shining Armor, my entire team and crew, probably the Elements of Harmony, and definitely the fire elementals.”
“If you can rely on Cadance, why are you giving her nightmares?”
“I’m punishing her.”
“Ah. We must make our attack swift and brutal. If Celestia has a chance to get away, we might never kill her.”
“It’s not gonna be easy and I’m really not looking forward to it. Oh, and bad news: If I need Moonbeam’s help, I have to marry her.”
She gasped, lifting a hoof to her mouth. “That’s horrific! How could she do that to herself?!”
“Bitch, I’m perfs,” I said with a snap. “People are lining up to put things inside of me! Moonie totally digs me.”
“If that is what you think, I pity you. Still, I suppose you may come to enjoy it. I didn’t think you’d enjoy being pregnant all the time, though.”
I stared at her for a few long seconds before slowly saying, “What?”
“When changelings mate, they have children as often as possible. Chrysalis can pump eggs into you every… oh, three or so months, if I remember correctly. She’ll also pump you full of changeling nectar, which is extremely addicting. Her royal nectar is considerably more potent. You could be left in a continuous state of arousal.”
That honestly sounded… extremely fucking awful. “We’ll see about that,” I said. “She has told me that she prefers equal mates many times. I’m confident I’ll be fine, if it comes to that.”
She shrugged. “Perhaps Reginald and I can save you from Chrysalis to help make up for our sins.”
“If it comes to that,” I replied with a shrug. “Either way, I still think you’re overreacting. It’s better to be prepared, but I’m honestly not worried.”
“Perhaps you are right,” she sighed. “Oooh, but I hope not! It is time to put that demon where she belongs!”
“I thought the goal was to redeem her.”
“Your goal is to redeem her. I want revenge. I’m willing to allow you to redeem her, but I would much rather put her down!”
“Noted. When I see you again, can I rub your belly?”
“...Perhaps,” she replied with a blush.
“Cool. No homo or anything, it’s just really soft. Plus, it might help you relax.”
“Of course. What should I say to Midnight Blossom?”
“As little as possible,” I replied. “It might be best if you left as soon as Celestia was dealt with. It’ll take time to smooth things over. We’ll figure something out.”
“Perhaps. Prepare wisely, Navarone. Contact everyone as quickly as you can. I will be in contact with you further, but I must depart for now.”
“See you soon, Luna,” I replied. She nodded once and vanished. “So what was that about?” I asked.
“That was about your surprise!” Aqua said. “You’ll know soon! Go ahead and get everyone else together, though. They might as well all be there for it.”
“...Are you gonna infect all the world leaders at once?”
She snorted. “I wish. No, there’s just an announcement to make. It’ll involve you, of course.”
“...That doesn’t sound good.”
“Well, that sounds like your problem. Now go along and tell the others!”
Bitch.
“I heard that.”
“I know, that’s why I thought it.” Before she could reply, I gazed around the anteroom. “Let’s start with Kat.”
Thankfully, she was asleep. Not so thankfully, her dream was also black. I pulled the fog apart to take a better look.
“She’s… brushing my hair,” I slowly said. “Why is this dream black?”
“Look at her lips,” Aqua replied. “She is saying something. Repeating it.”
“Can you tell what it is?”
“I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I will worship you for my mistakes.”
That was not a very comforting answer. “Huh. Well, this might be awkward.”
“Would you like me to take control?” she sweetly asked.
“No, I need to handle this.” I pushed my way in and found myself in a chair, wearing nothing. The cute little kitty was softly brushing my hair.
“Please, my lady. Please, my owner. Please… Please! Please forgive me! I’m so sorry!”
“Hello, Kat,” I quietly said. She gasped in horror and the brush froze.
“My… My lady?”
“Yes, it’s me,” I said. “I decided to pay your dream a visit.”
She whimpered and backed away slowly, lifting her hands up. “I… My lady, I…”
“Do you think you deserve to be forgiven?” I asked. She didn’t reply, though it sounded like she sniffled. “I’m asking you a question, Kat. I want to know. Do you honestly think you deserve it?”
“I’ve served you! I’ve done everything you asked! I’ve devoted my entire being to you! I am totally yours, my lady. If I am not yet worthy, what must I do? What price must I pay? Anything!” She grasped me by my shoulders and pulled me in so she could whisper. “An eye? A paw? My children? I would have so many litters for you, Nav! I would train them all to obey you, to worship you! I shall form your own clan of assassins, Navarone! Order me, make your demands! I will go to any lengths!”
I sat in silence for a while before standing and turning to face her. “Then that makes this kinda awkward…”
She blinked in surprise. “W-what?”
“Yeah, I forgave you ages ago. Like, when you scratched the fuck outta my walls in Hawaii.” She stared at me blankly for a few long seconds. “You didn’t know? I thought I made it clear.” Though I don’t guess I ever told her.
Her stare was honestly kinda starting to get unnerving. After a few excruciating seconds, the dream lit up bright gold and she jumped forward to hug me.
“I am yours!” she yelled. “Always and forever, Nav! I will be your perfect tool! Use me any way you desire!”
“Awesome, that’s super convenient. I actually came here to give you some orders.”
“Before you do, I’m afraid I have something to report.” She pulled away, looking slightly uncertain. “I have done something you won’t be happy about.”
“And what is that?” I asked. “Did you follow me?”
“No! Not after you ordered me not to… I’m afraid I’m sworn to silence about the details, so you’ll need to speak to Taya.”
“...Taya made you do something?” I asked.
“Yes, my lady… She ordered me, despite my misgivings, and then made me swear not to tell you what it is we did.”
“...Then I guess I’ll be paying her dreams a visit next. Anyway, onto why I’m here. Celestia might be up to something. She summoned Luna back to Canterlot. What she doesn’t know is that Luna is going to support me against her. So what I need you to do is find the hand mirror in my room and make sure it’s packed on the ship when it comes to get me. That thing will let me contact Moonbeam whenever I need.”
“Is that all, Navarone?”
“For now. I’ll talk to a few others as well to get them to do some things for me.”
“How sure are you that something’s coming?”
“Not at all. Personally, I doubt it. But I’d rather be ready just in case. Luna is thinking Celestia plans to make a move against me when I return.”
“Then we’ll be ready for her,” Kat replied with a firm nod.
“Damn right. I’m going to go hunting for more dreams. Do you have any requests before I go?”
“...Yes. Can you leave the original you behind?” I summoned another me, this one completely standard. “With wings?”
I snapped, making wings appear. Her tail started wagging. “There you go. Boop it on the nose to activate it. Now have fun.” I wasted no more time escaping. “That was uncomfortable.”
“Yes, Flo made a mess of that poor cat’s mind,” Aqua sighed. “I can’t believe Cascade allows those nightmares.”
“Knowing Kat, she probably prefers them so she could focus on attoning for her sins.” The next stop on my list was Taya. Since she was already asleep, it was a quick jump over to her golden dream. “Oh boy, here we go…”
“Don’t be like that, not around your own daughter,” Aqua said. “How bad could it be?”
“You weren’t around when I checked on her dreams and saw her doing weird things with me.” She didn’t reply, so I sighed and eased the fog back.
Thankfully, the scene before us was a tame one. Taya was sitting at a table across from Twilight and I. My daughter was sipping at a milkshake and watching me make out with Twilight.
“She has a good imagination,” Aqua said. “It’s a shame she’s going to be so disappointed by a few things.”
“...Like what?”
“Oh, you’ll see. Now, shall we pay her a visit?”
“Fine, but not because you told me to.” I pulled myself into the dream and found myself kissing Twilight. There was no hurry, so I let myself enjoy it for a few minutes. When it finally got boring, I pulled back and reached over to boop my daughter on the nose. “I see you’re having dreams about me.”
Taya blinked a few times before the realization came to her. “Hi, mommy! Are you having fun?”
“A little here and there. Things haven’t exactly gone according to plan, but that’s not why I’m here. Luna thinks Celestia’s up to something.”
The dreamscape went from gold to white. “Like what?” she slowly asked.
“I’m not sure yet. It’s probably nothing. But Celestia seems to be planning on summoning Luna back to Canterlot when we all get back from the bunker. Have you planted the seed yet?”
“Of course, mommy,” she replied with a nod. “I did that as soon as I got it. I put it—”
“Don’t tell me,” I said, lifting a hand. “The less I know, the better. When the ship leaves for Gryphus, pack my box with the ring. I’m not planning on using it, but I’d rather have it just in case.”
“Of course, mommy. What about weapons and armor?”
“Bring the sword, the gun, as many rounds and magazines as you can find, a few strips of throwing knives, the carbon nanotube armor, as many cherry blossom seeds as Gloomy can get her hooves on, and warm clothes. If Kat forgets or otherwise can’t get to it, pack the mirror that Moonie gave me as well. I’ll need it to contact her.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to avoid going into her dreams if possible. The mirror will let me communicate with her.”
“Oh. Anything else?”
“If I can think of anything else you’ll need to bring, I’ll let you know before you leave.”
She nodded. “Then do you wanna enjoy your date? Twilight’s ready to do whatever you want!”
The mare herself placed a hoof on one of my thighs and leaned in to nuzzle me warmly. “I wouldn’t mind, but I’d like to talk about something else first,” I said. “Kat said you did something naughty.”
Taya’s ears drooped and the white dream haze got a few degrees darker. “No I didn’t!”
“Spill it.”
“Well… I needed to talk to Athena. Kat helped me get there.”
“...You went into the book.”
“Yep!”
“Wow. Not gonna lie, I’m honestly pretty pissed about that. But it’s already done and you obviously survived, so whatever. So why did you go in and why didn’t you just ask Jak?”
“Because I needed to talk to Athena privately. I just had Kat leave when we got to her.”
“Okay, so why did you need to talk to Athena?”
“I had some questions about the book you asked me to read,” she replied with a casual shrug. “Really mommy, it’s no big deal!”
“What questions did you have?”
“Oh, this and that. Nothing too important.”
I crossed my arms. “Important enough to risk your life in the book.”
“I didn’t risk anything!” she defensively replied. “I knew we could handle it.”
“And you knew I wouldn’t let you, so you waited until I was gone.”
“Right. Really, mommy, you’re making this a bigger deal than it should be.”
“What did you ask her?”
She waved a hoof. “Don’t worry about it, mommy! It was nothing!”
“Tell me right now or you’re gonna regret it when I see you again.”
Her eyes rolled. “Fine, if you’re gonna be like that. It’s not like you can stop me anyway. I asked Athena to teach me how to transmute a plant’s life into a pony. Kinda like what Celestia did to you.”
“...And why did you ask her that?”
“So I could be like you, of course! Now I get to live as long as you do, mommy! And I’ll be your cute little filly the whole time.”
“Wow. I am so angry at you right now that I really don’t even know what to say.”
“How about ‘I love you so much, honey’ or ‘Gee Taya, that sure was a great idea!’ Maybe something like ‘Now we can really be together forever, just like I always promised!’ Why would you be upset, mommy? This is a good thing!”
“Have you already done it?” I sighed.
“…Of course.”
“Taya, I’m not home and you could have it done by the time I even could get home. Tell the truth: Have you done it?”
“No. I’m working out a few kinks now. But you won’t stop me, mommy!”
I sighed again and ran a hand down my face. Finally, I said, “No, I won’t. But I want you to promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
“I want to talk to you in person first. I won’t stop you if you still want to do it, but I want the chance to talk to you first.”
She put her hooves on the table and said, “You won’t talk me down, mommy! I’m doing this!”
“Promise me that you’ll talk to me first. Please.”
Her eyes rolled. “Fiiine.” She fell back into the seat and smirked. “Just think, mommy: Now I get to be your cute little filly forever!”
God dammit. “So tell me about Athena’s book,” I said, pulling the fake Twilight into my lap. She cooed softly as I started petting her.
Taya eyed my hands with a few twinges of jealousy, but she got over it quickly. “It was a breeze,” she flippantly replied, snatching the milkshake with magic and floating it up to her mouth.
“No one likes gloaters,” I said. “Especially lying gloaters.”
She giggled and set the milkshake back down. “It really wasn’t that bad. I was worried after what happened to the tower mages, but Kat and I prepared well.”
“And you actually listened to me when I told you what was in there.”
“We sure did,” she happily said. “The only trouble spot we had was with Jak’s golem, but Kat remembered there was a command word to make it obey us. That turned the rest of the maze into a breeze. Hera didn’t really like that we ruined her entertainment, but she seemed pretty unpleasant anyway. Though the belly rub she gave me was… nice.”
“Don’t go back into that book without me,” I said. “Hera is completely psychotic and thinks ponies are just animals she can turn into pets. She asked me to kidnap a filly for her after the tower mages were done.”
“Oh, she tried to keep me,” Taya said. “Athena wouldn’t let her.”
I shrugged. “Athena said she didn’t want any pets. Apparently they make messes.”
“She said it was because I was your daughter, not because I’d make a mess.”
“...Huh. Whatever. So what books did you get?”
“Several books of banned spells, a few human history books, a book Athena actually wrote about the fall of humanity, an alchemy book full of poisons, and a single poetry book.” She scratched at her chin for a moment before adding, “And a diary of a human girl with a very boring name. I don’t know why Kat kept it.”
“What was the name?”
“I dunno. I think it started with a J. I just remember that it was boring.”
Maybe I can get some insight about girl problems from it. “What kind of banned spells?”
“One was blood magic, one was full of curses, and one had drawings of demonic signs and summoning circles.”
“Neat. Don’t summon any demons without my permission.”
“‘Kay.”
“And be very careful with the rest.”
“I can’t use blood magic and I’m really not interested in being able to. The curses might be fun, though.”
“Good. Bring the history books and the diary with you on the ship when you guys leave. I want to take a look at them.”
“Athena’s book, too?”
“Yeah. If you haven’t already, let Nightshade take a look at the poison book.”
“Already done,” Taya said with a nod. “She and Kat have been looking it over. Apparently they’re using it to make something with Spider’s venom.”
Maybe they’re giving up on the pleasure poison. “How well were you and Kat able to fight together?”
“I let her give me orders,” Taya replied. “And she used my powers well. So good, I guess. She’s very athletic.”
“Hell yeah she is.” In all the right ways. “It’s good that you two can work together. The three of us need to train some time.”
“I’m hoping the naga will respond to Doppel’s letter,” Taya said. “It’ll be nice to have him for the bunker.”
“I wasn’t aware she sent him one, but I’m glad that she did. I wouldn’t mind having him there. How are things at the house?”
“Good I guess,” she replied with a shrug. “I’ve mostly been in your room studying. Kat’s been trying to serve me, but she’s so mopey that I had to order her away. I think she’s spending time with Spider instead.”
“How’s he liking the piano?”
“A lot, judging by how much he plays it. I have to keep the door shut all the time.”
“Is he that bad?” I sighed.
“It’s just distracting. I guess it’s good. Kat’s been playing her little instrument with him, so it’s even worse.”
That’ll be interesting, I suppose. “Pass me the milkshake.”
“You better not drink it all,” she said, hoofing it over. I wanted to be mean and drink it all just to spite her, but the cup kept refilling on me. I eventually decided to give up before I got brain freeze and passed it back.
“Now then, I’ll leave you to your dream.”
“You don’t have to go!”
“I got more people to warn about Celestia and more preparations to make. I also still need some real sleep.”
She sighed and hung her head. “...Okay, mommy.” After a second or two, she looked up with a cute grin. “Could you teach me to dreamwalk, too?”
“We’ll have to talk about that in person, too. I’ll see you soon, honey.”
She hopped across the table and hugged me. I hugged her back. She was nice and warm. Once I got bored of it, I stepped out of the dream.
“You should let Taya become a tree sister,” Aqua said. “She loves you dearly and would be a good companion.”
“I will let her. I just want to talk to her about what was in the tree book she read. If it sounds good, I won’t stand in her way. If it sounds bad, I’ll try to talk her down. I don’t want Taya to live like this, but ultimately, it’s her choice. She knows the magic and I can’t stop her from doing it.”
“A fair viewpoint. Shall we check on Cadance?”
I stepped over to her dream. It was still pitch black. I peeled some of the smoke away and peered in. Cadance and Shining Armor were both chained to Chrysalis’s throne. Shiny was a lot more slender and seemed considerably more feminine. Cadance looked heavily pregnant. She and her would-be husband had dopey grins and vacant eyes. I pulled myself into the dream and snapped. All the constructs froze and Cadance looked at me without recognition.
“She’s really gone, huh?” I said.
“Looks like it,” Aqua replied.
I walked over and poked Cadance on the nose. Her eyes shut and she collapsed, her body returning to normal. “So what next?” I asked.
“The gryphon assassin from Hestra,” Aqua replied.
I snapped and put us back in the palace at Gryphus. Cadance and her husband were in bed and an assassin was in their room. I poked Cadance again, releasing her from the trance, and then stepped out of the dream.
“This one will be interesting,” Aqua said. “I wonder how the assassin will fare against Shining Armor without you there.”
“If he remembers his head this time, probably not very.” I thought about Fleur. She wasn’t asleep yet, so I thought about Watcher. I was standing next to his gold dream moments later.
“Are you sure you want to interrupt this poor old man’s dreams?” Aqua asked. “Your surprise need not concern him.”
“If Kat or Taya mention anything to him, he’ll have questions.” I pulled the gold smoke back to see what kinds of things made that crotchety old guy happy. After a few seconds of watching, I tilted my head. “Where is he?”
“I’d say he’s the pink pony kissing Sentinel,” Aqua said. “He did say he was pink originally, right?”
“Fair, but I thought he hated being pink. Whatever.” I looked over the dream again so I could assess my approach. Watcher and Sentinel were kissing in a seedy dive bar. There were about a dozen dangerous looking fellows of all races sitting around and nursing various vices. The terrain outside looked dusty and dry, so I assumed they were in a desert of some kind.
“This will be exciting,” Aqua said with a giggle.
I just hopped right in, staying in my original body. I landed right next to their table and said, “Hey Watcher, is that you?”
Everyone in the room turned to stare as us and Watcher stopped kissing what was apparently his girlfriend. “Never heard of him,” he replied with Watcher’s voice. “What kind of name is that?”
“A fake one. You never gave me your real one. I thought you hated being pink. What happened to your guard colors?”
All the seedy guys surrounding us burst out of their chairs. Watcher slowly looked around the room while Sentinel sighed. “Looks like your friend ruined our cover.”
“Looks like it.” All the freaks and weirdos drew weapons and charged. Watcher’s horn lit up and they all flew back. “So who are you and what do you want?”
I reached down to poke him on the nose, but he jumped back and his horn lit up. Nothing happened, so I snapped and froze him. Sentinel jumped in my way when I tried poking him again, so I picked her up, put her over the table, and gave her a spanking. She tried to fight back, but couldn’t do anything against my dream powers. Once she got over the indignation and actually started yelling in pain, I stopped and finally poked Watcher’s nose.
He blinked and turned back to his normal color. “Hello, my lady. Why did you spank her?”
“Because I thought it would be funny.” I spanked her one last time, which made her disappear. “Luna thinks Celestia is planning something for when we return from the bunker. I think Luna’s wrong, but I want to be ready. I’m not really sure if any of you guys will be good against her, so I want you and your soldiers ready to evacuate everyone that isn’t going to be fighting Celestia. Get them somewhere safe and wait for word from us.”
“You got it, my lady. I’m afraid I have news.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“I’ll apologize in advance. I didn’t plan for this and take full responsibility. Taya went into Athena’s book. She’s fine, but I know you’re still going to be upset.”
“I already spoke with her about it. It most certainly wasn’t your fault. Hell, even if you did have the book, she could just order you to give it to her. So chillax.”
“...As you command. How’s the festival?”
“It’s been… interesting. Parts have been fun, parts haven’t been. I’m probably only gonna give Twilight’s stupid disguise one more day.”
“How’s she been doing?”
“She’s having a wonderful time, or so it seems. She got so sore she could barely walk today, though. She’ll probably feel better tomorrow.”
“That must have been a lot of partners.”
“Yeah, probably. So what’s up with this dream?”
“Oh, Sentinel and I were undercover. We were trying to catch a band of crooks who were raiding Equestria from south of the border.”
“Neat. You know she has a crush on you, right?”
“I do. If I were closer to her age, I would act on it in a heartbeat. I’m just way too old for her.”
I shrugged. “Whatevs. You have any dream requests before I go?”
He scratched at his chin for a second or two before grinning and nodding. “Bring me the sexiest female human you can think of.” I did so with a snap. He looked her up and down before nodding. “Oh yes, she’ll do.”
“Boop her on the nose to activate her. Have fun.” I slid out of his dream and shivered slightly. “Creepy old man…”
“What did he do?” Twilight asked, making me jump.
“Nothing,” I replied as the dream turned red behind me.
“Ooooh. Yeah, never mind. So, how are you feeling now? Still angry?”
“Yes, but I’m working on it.”
“...Um. How?”
“By punishing Cadance with nightmares.”
“That’s… not very nice.”
“Yeah, well, you know. So, you wanna go bust up some dreams until it’s time for me to check on Cadance again?”
“I don’t think you should give her nightmares at all.”
“She agreed to it, so too bad. What are our plans for tomorrow?”
“We’ll see how I feel, first, but I plan on taking it easy. Probably not too much sex. We’ll mostly just walk around and enjoy the festival.”
“Cool. Remind me to cash my check. I wanna get some souvenirs.”
“I’ll do my best. I’m not sure when Gilda’s planning on claiming you.”
“Well, the day after tomorrow, I’m going to see Princess Gilda. I’ll be in my human body again, so original Gilda can suck it.”
“Ah. If you’d like, we could get another inn for our real bodies.”
“That might not be a bad idea. It’ll give us a place to stage and relax. We can do that tomorrow night.”
“That works. Can we at least check on Cadance?”
“Sure.” We both hopped over to Cadance’s black dream. “I’ll just pop in real quick and change things up a bit.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Please don’t. This’ll take just a sec.” I jumped in before she could reply.
At the moment, Cadance was sitting in a rocking chair located in a dull grey room. Her brat was in her hooves, sleeping as they rocked. Cadance was crying, for whatever reason. I poked her nose and she fell into another trance.
“So what’s next?” I asked.
“Be careful. Twilight is probably watching. But to answer your question, the assassins who attacked Skyla in Celestia’s room.”
She wouldn’t have been in Celestia’s room without me. I’m not sure if Skyla would have been with the maid or with her parents.
“Probably the maid, given the emergency. The assassins had to wait in Celestia’s closet because they weren’t expecting Cadance to be with her.”
Fair enough. I snapped and made two rooms, one with Cadance just standing and one with the maid and two assassins. I might actually feel bad about this one. Once things started moving, I stepped out of the dream to find Twilight staring at me in horror.
“How could you?!” she demanded.
“Cadance did something to me that she knew was wrong. She even said she was fine with losing me if it meant her husband was happy. I decided to show her what that really means, so I’m letting her see for herself what would have happened if I wasn’t there.”
“That’s… interesting. I hadn’t thought of using dreams to explore alternate scenarios. Of course, what you’re actually doing is awful and I wish you’d stop, but how you’re doing it is fascinating!”
“Are you telling me you’ve never wanted revenge?” I asked.
“I didn’t say that,” she hastily replied. “But her daughter is about to get murdered, Nav. How is this proportionate?”
“Because it’s just a dream? I wouldn’t do anything to her in real life, but this is just temporary. I figure it’s a good way to teach her a lesson without doing any real harm.”
“Still, though… This doesn’t feel right.”
“What she did to me also didn’t feel right. Honestly, a single night of bad dreams is a low price to pay for kidnapping and rape.”
She sighed and shook her head. “Fine.”
That’s what I thought. “So you wanna go give Dashie a few alternate scenarios with various ponies?”
“Pervert.”
“That’s not a no!” I replied with a grin.
She smiled and we both stepped away from Cadance’s dream.
Once we were done bullying Dashie, Twilight took off to get some real sleep. I appeared back at Cadance’s dream. It was still pitch black, of course.
“The last one should be Sombra,” Aqua said as I entered Cadance’s dream.
The mare herself was sitting on a throne with vacant eyes and a deep frown. It appeared that her mane and coat had lost some of their color. Shining Armor was nowhere to be seen.
I walked over and poked her on the nose again, then snapped to put us in the Crystal Empire throne room. We could see Sombra breaking through the shield from the windows. I stepped out of the dream as he began surging through the city.
“She might actually wake up from this one,” Aqua said. “I could see Sombra executing her.”
“Maybe. This is the last one anyway. I might give her a day to stew on it, I might not.”
“That might be wise. The time for anger is over. You must cool your head now so you can forgive her.”
“Whatever.” I thought of Fleur again and found myself looking at her dream. I hopped over to its red hue and poked my head in.
This time, my male human body was already dicking her down. I jumped in to finish the job, then warmly cuddled with her.
“Oooh, that was fantastic,” she sighed.
“You’re amazing,” I whispered, nuzzling her. That put recognition in her eyes. “But we need to talk for a moment.”
“...Did you come in here to have sex with me again?”
“I came in here and finished the job. You were already going at it when I got here.”
“Ah. Fair enough. So what did you need?”
“Luna thinks Celestia’s planning something for when I get back. I disagree, but I want everyone to be ready. Can you let Blossom know that shit might go down whenever I get back?”
“Of course. Why does Luna think this?”
“Because Celestia summoned her back to Canterlot. Historically, that usually means Celestia’s about to have someone killed. Luna’s thinking that Celestia’s gunning for me. As I said, I disagree.”
“Why?”
“Call it a hunch,” I replied with a shrug. “But it’s better to be careful.”
“Of course. Blossom might not be happy to have Luna back in town.”
“Too bad. Now, you were the second to last stop on my list. I’m gonna finish this up so I can get some real sleep.”
“You sure?” she asked. “I think I’m ready for round two…”
“Alright, fine, you talked me into it.” She leaned in and kissed me.
After several more rounds, I finally pulled myself out of her dream. “I always like visiting her.”
“I bet,” Aqua said. “Are pleasures of the flesh truly so wonderful?”
“...You’ve never tried sex in a host’s body?”
“I haven’t. None of my hosts have been as… prolific as you are, so I did not get many chances to experiment.”
“Feel free to try it for yourself some time. I’d be happy to let you. Maybe it’ll help you chill the fuck out.”
“Perhaps. Let us visit the last one on your list.”
I thought about Spike and felt my head turn. Once I found his dream, I stepped up to it. Thankfully, it was a standard white dream. When I peeked in, I saw that a very large Spike was just chilling on a pile of gold and jewels.
“Be careful,” Aqua said. “He might become belligerent when you enter. Dragons do enjoy protecting their hoards.”
“I’ll be fine.” I pulled myself in and landed in front of the pile of gold.
Spike immediately noticed me. Instead of becoming aggressive, he grinned. “It’s good to see you again, Nav. It’s been quite some time. What brings you by?”
“We need to talk,” I said, reaching over to poke one of his talons. He blinked and realized where we were. “Luna thinks Celestia’s planning something.”
“...Planning what?” he slowly asked.
“To kill me.” His eyes widened. “I think Luna’s wrong, but I’m warning everyone anyway. If she does try, it’ll be when we return from the bunker.”
“So what’s the plan?” he asked.
“If she tries to kill me, we kill her first.”
“We?”
“All you need to know is that it’ll be a curbstomp. Celestia is in no way prepared for what’s coming. If she wants to come for me, we’ll kick her shit in.”
He sighed and nodded. “Be careful, Nav. You may have some strong friends, but she’s still Celestia.”
“I’m not worried. I think Luna is wrong, personally. I’m just not going to take that chance.”
“Good. So are you enjoying the festival?”
“Kinda sorta. I’ve had fun, but I’m really not liking being in disguise. We’re probably going to drop them soon.”
“Oh. Gilda apparently made a deal with Twilight involving you. We’ll be going to Gryphus late tomorrow night.”
“Cool. How have you been enjoying the festival?”
“It’s been amazing,” he replied. “Gilda knows all the best events. I’ve been with so many hens.”
“Nice. When you get to Gryphus, you should hit up one of the public glory holes. That would definitely be an experience.”
“What’s a glory hole?”
“Ask Gilda.”
“Alright. So what are your plans for the rest of the festival? Gilda and I might be able to join you, if you’d be interested.”
“One of the princesses invited me to visit, so I’ll be doing that soon. I don’t really think your Gilda would be all that interested in seeing Princess Gilda.”
“Maybe not. So is it a date?”
“Nope. I’m not lookin’ to hit it. It’ll be purely a social call.” You know, hopefully. “You guys got any plans?”
“Not that I know of,” he replied with a shrug. “Gilda’s mostly just been playing it by ear, as far as I can tell.”
“Not surprising. Do you have any dream requests before I go get some real sleep?”
“Hmm…” His gaze slowly moved around the cave we were in before meeting mine again. “You can bring anyone here, right?”
“Yep, sure can. I can also make them do pretty much anything.”
“Ooooh. Can you bring in Rainbow Dash and Rarity?”
I snapped and made them both appear. Dash was in a schoolgirl outfit and Rarity was in a maid outfit. “Poke them on the nose to activate them,” I said. “Anything else?”
“Nope, this is more than enough. Thanks, Nav.”
“Happy to help. See you soon, Spike.” I left before he could reply. “Gee, I wonder why he wanted those two.”
“It truly boggles the mind,” Aqua sarcastically replied. “Now let us check on Cadance and then return to real sleep.”
I hopped over to her black dream and let myself in. Cadance and Sombra were sitting in matching thrones. Cadance’s eyes were glowing black and green, so I figured her mind was under his control. She also looked a few months pregnant, but it was difficult to tell for sure. She sure does put a lot of rape in her dreams.
Before Sombra could demand to know who I was, I appeared in front of his queen and poked her. When she was out, I put us in a small green forest clearing and poked her again.
She slowly sat up, looking around. Her eyes finally settled on me. “Nav…”
“That was the last one,” I said.
“I’m… I’m sorry, Nav. Without you, I’d… I…” She shot forward and hugged me. After a second of shock, I hugged her back.
“It’s okay,” I quietly replied. “I’m still upset, but it’s okay. I forgive you, Cadance.”
“It was… it was so awful…”
Yeah, I bet. “Well, it’s over now.” I picked her up and sat down so I could put her over my lap and start petting her. “You can relax.”
“Your hands are so nice,” she whispered as I continued petting her.
To be even nicer, I summoned a bowl of ice cream and placed it in front of her. “What do you want to dream about now?” I asked as she started nomming that shit down.
“...Infinite ice cream,” she said.
I snapped and we ended up in front of a literal mountain of the stuff. It reached so far up into the sky that we couldn’t see the top and it spread so far out to either side that it appeared endless. “How’s that?”
“Perfect!”
“Awesome. So how long were you even in Gryphus? Didn’t you guys say you were super busy all the time?”
“Even rulers can get a few breaks. Shiny and I managed to break away early this morning and teleport to Gryphus using a trick he learned in the guard.”
“I honestly didn’t think either of you were powerful enough to go from the Crystal Empire to Gryphus.”
“Not in one sitting. The skill in question allows a small number of unicorns to teleport long distances in small bursts. Instead of making one huge jump, each unicorn makes several small jumps. With another trick I learned from Twilight about pooling magic, we were able to get there in no time at all, though we were both fairly tired when we arrived.”
“Kinda surprised you didn’t go to the palace.”
“Why?” she asked. “If this was an official visit, absolutely. But Bloodbeak is sick at the moment, so he probably wouldn’t want to see us. In the end, we decided an upscale inn would do. A few of the griffins probably recognized us, but none seemed to care about two pony royals walking around the festival. We would have made sure any griffin we decided to sleep with would have no way of proving what actually happened, so it’s not like there was any risk of blackmail for us. If any pictures surfaced of the two of us walking around, we could just say we were visiting our friends to the south to learn more about their culture.”
“Fair enough, I guess. And you’re already back home?”
“Sure are,” she replied. “We kinda exhausted our magic about halfway there, but since we were following the tracks, we were able to secretly hitch a ride on a supply train. We’re both safely in bed in the palace.”
“Huh. Anyway, I need some real sleep. We’ll talk more later,” I said. “Until then, good night.” She probably wanted to say more, but I stepped out of her dream and then right back into my own.
“You didn’t warn her about Celestia,” Aqua said.
“It can wait. She has enough on her mind at the moment. I don’t want to burden her with news about some stupid surprise.”
“Hm. And now that you have forgiven her, are you prepared to admit that I was right?”
“About what?” I sighed.
“About the need to confront her while you were angry.”
“Oh. I’ll admit that it turned out better than I was expecting, but I don’t think you had anything to do with it.”
She sighed and suddenly appeared behind me so she could wrap her slimy body around me again. “You’re so difficult to manage, my sweet little lady.”
“Good. I’m tired of dealing with you, so let’s just timeskip to morning.”
“As you wish,” she whispered.
Just like that, I opened my eyes, feeling mostly rested and in intense pain. As soon as I groaned, waves of healing poured into me and then a cup of water appeared floating over me. “Thanks, Twiggles,” I raspily said as I took the water.
“Happy to help, Navi,” she said before nuzzling me. I drained the water and turned to nuzzle Twiley back. “How do you feel now?”
“Much better,” I sighed. “How about you?”
“I’m still sore,” she replied as she stretched her back legs. “But it’s nowhere near as bad as it was yesterday. I think I’ll be able to walk around with no issues.”
“Excellent. I’m gonna take a shower and then get dressed. We can get breakfast after that.”
“I’ll join you in the shower,” she said with a sweet smile.
“Sounds good to me.” I rolled out of bed and she lazily teleported out. Soon enough, we were getting very wet together. It was quite fun.
Once we were finished, we found ourselves looking over our wardrobes again. “So what do you think?” she asked.
“I’m honestly kinda tired of being a maid,” I said. “Don’t get me wrong: I love dressing like a little slut and having all the guys molesting me with their eyes, but being super submissive is getting old. And so is your bitchy noble attitude.”
“Understandable. Can you put up with the attitude until we’re done with breakfast?”
“Sure. Are you gonna drop it after that?”
“Yep,” she replied with a nod. “I’d like to tie both of our tails up before we go out, though.”
“That’s fine. I just don’t want to be dressed up and treated like a maid anymore.”
“Fair enough.” Her horn lit up and she poked me with it. “That’ll put the cutie mark back.” I looked at my flank and sure enough, the one she picked out for me was back. “Ready to head downstairs?”
“As you wish, Lady Ivory.”
“Are you gonna make me open the door myself?” she snottily asked.
“I apologize, my lady,” I said as I jumped to the door. She nodded smartly and I opened it for her, then followed her downstairs.
The booze apparently made me sleep longer than usual, because there weren’t any other patrons downstairs at all. The innkeeper seemed pleased to see us and got us both hooked up with breakfast fairly quickly.
Once we had everything in front of us, the innkeeper taloned me a note. “You might want to be careful, Miss Rosie,” she said. “A very rich griffin is fervently looking for you.”
“Why would anypony look for Rosie?” Twilight asked as I opened the note.
“Love, apparently,” the innkeeper replied.
“Did he give this to you personally?” I asked after I read the note.
“If he actually knew where you were, I doubt we’d be having this conversation,” she said. “I think he hired couriers to deliver copies of this note to every inn in the city.”
Twilight snatched it from me with magic and read it aloud. “To all innkeepers: I’m offering a one hundred bit reward for any information on the whereabouts of Rose Charm. She’s a beautiful pink pegasus and has been in the newspapers recently. Enclosed is a picture of her from the papers. If you have any information, please relay it directly to me at this address…” She didn’t actually read the address, for whatever reason, but it did sound familiar. Her angry eyes turned toward me. “Rosie, what did you do to this poor griffin?”
“I turned down his marriage proposal, my lady,” I softly replied. “I had no idea he would go to such lengths to find me!”
Twilight scoffed. “I can’t believe somepony actually wanted to marry you. I wonder why. So where’s this picture?”
“Just one moment,” the innkeeper said. She walked back over to the bar and reached behind it. After a moment or two of searching, she returned with the picture in talon. “This is it,” she said, setting it down on the table.
It was the picture of me after the running of the ponies competition. It wasn’t in color, so it really wasn’t that useful. “They sure didn’t get your good side,” Twilight said. “Though there aren’t too many of those, so I suppose I can’t fault them. We’ll have to spend a few minutes redoing your hair, but it shouldn’t be hard to fool anypony hunting for you.”
“I hope not,” I softly said. “I don’t want a confrontation. Thank you for not telling him where we were, ma’am.”
“Of course, dear. Us hens have to stick together, especially during the heat. There’s no telling what this fellow might have in mind for you, especially after you turned him down. Just be careful while you’re out and about. He might have others looking for you.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“...Say, would you like to make an easy hundred bits?” Twilight asked.
“What did you have in mind?” the innkeeper replied.
“I was considering finding another inn closer to a different part of town tonight. If you tell this griffin where we are, Rosie and I can wait until he gets here and then teleport out. You get paid and he doesn’t get to do anything to us.”
“It’s tempting, but no thank you. Innkeepers who sell their patrons out tend to lose customers. The hundred bits would be nice, but I’d lose about that much in business over the course of just a few weeks if word got out.”
“That makes sense,” Twiggles said. “If we do end up changing inns, hopefully the new innkeeper will have the same priorities.”
“If not, you’re always welcome back here,” the old hen said. “Now, I’ll let you two eat. Let me know if you need anything else!” She walked back to the bar and started wiping it down, probably more to look busy than to actually clean. That let Twilight and I eat the totally bodacious pony breakfast she set up for us.
Once we were finished, Twilight grabbed the note and the picture and we went back up to our room. “You actually look really good in this pic, Nav,” she said when we were alone.
“Yeah, that competition was fun. I wonder if the pics they took of you and the others wound up in the papers, too.”
“Um… They took pictures of us?”
“Yeah. After you got caught and fucked, the guy who got you posed with your tail pulled aside so the picture would have you leaking all over yourself. It was kinda hot.”
Her face turned slightly red. “I… didn’t realize they took pictures. That is kinda hot! I’ll have to see if I can get one of those papers while we’re out today. Now then…” She grabbed me with magic and floated me to the bed. Once she had me where she wanted me, she walked up to my backside and started rolling my tail up. “I’ve heard that fillies Taya’s age love putting their tail up like this. You’ll have to let me know what you think.”
Once it was in a bun that left me completely exposed, she tied it off with a rubber band. “It already feels drafty.”
“Oh, that was just my breath,” she replied, backing up. “When I saw you looking all cute and helpless, my heart started racing and I started breathing harder. Sorry.”
“No problem, I guess.” Kinda creepy, but I’m used to that by now. “I do think it’s gonna be a little too cold to go out like this, though.”
“That’s what magic is for. I’ll keep us warm. Now make sure I do it right.” She spun around so I could get a good look at her flank and started rolling her own tail up. Soon enough, she tied it off into a bun as well. “How do I look?”
“Like a little slut, which is exactly what you were going for. Shall we?”
“Let’s, Rosie. And no more calling me your lady. Ivory will do.”
“Awesome. I’ll just grab the check real quick…” I walked over to the leather purse and dug out the check. It was creased in a few places, but I didn’t figure that would matter. “You got the map?”
“Right here,” she replied, making it magically appear. “I found the closest bank while you were still sleeping. It’ll take us about ten minutes to walk there.”
“Cool beans. Let’s do it.” I slid off the bed and we left the room again.
The innkeeper waved at us as we walked out and onto the streets. The festival was in full swing, so we quickly blended in and began walking to the bank. Now that all the griffins had a perfect view of our goods, the number of stares we got greatly increased. I gotta say, it definitely made me feel like a whore.
We got to the bank with no issue. There weren’t too many griffins actually working there, but it still didn’t take them long to cash the check. They were even nice enough to give us a bag to carry the five hundred bits in.
Once we got back outside, we both looked around. “So now what?” Twilight asked.
“I found a bazaar yesterday that had some interesting looking stuff for sale,” I said. “Several smiths were making festival swag. I figured I could get some souvenirs for some of the people back home.”
“Sounds good to me,” she replied. “Lead the way.”
“I kinda… flew. I’m not sure how to get there from here.”
She sighed and summoned the map. We looked over it for a few minutes. There were several market areas in the city and I honestly had no clue which one I was in. But we had all day, so we just picked the closest one and started walking.
Now that we were past the middle of the festival, it kinda felt like it was starting to wind down. There were still plenty of people out, but not as many performers or events. It all seemed to be losing steam.
“I’ve never been to a large meat market,” Twilight said when we walked into the first bazaar.
“I prefer buying my meat from indoor butchers. Better yet, indoor butchers with refrigeration.”
“Still, it has a unique charm.” She finally got a whiff of something and then blanched. “W-well… A small unique charm.”
“You’re gonna have to turn yourself into a human soon so I can cook you some meat.”
“And so we can hold hands,” she said with a nod.
Lewd. “Anyway, I don’t think it was this market. That one didn’t have this much food.”
“Good. Let’s find the next one before I get light-headed.” Some of the griffin merchants scoffed at that, but none of them said anything.
After skedaddling out of that bazaar, Twilight took a moment to check the map. While she was doing that, I looked around the street we were on. Despite the festival seeming more calm, there were still plenty of griffins out and about. I was also starting to see more races present. It felt better not being the only two ponies on the road, even if the other ones looked pretty rough around the edges.
Then I saw something very unfortunate: A wanted poster with Rosie’s picture on it. “...Ivory?”
“Yes?” she replied, looking up. Her eyes followed mine and her nose scrunched. “That’s not good.”
We both walked up to the poster. Once again, it had the picture from the paper on it. “Is this even legal?” I asked. “How can a private citizen put out a bounty on someone?”
“Money talks,” Twilight said. “There’s no telling how many of these there are. We need to get back to the hotel and pack.”
“You sure? Running from bounty hunters could be fun!”
“Now you’re just being purposefully obtuse. For all we know, one of the bounty hunters who knows who you really are put these out and is trying to trap you. We need to get back into our proper bodies so we can defend ourselves without questions being raised. You can buy whatever souvenirs you want in your own body.”
“Fiiine. I want my fingers back anyway.”
She sighed in relief and we both suddenly reappeared back in the hotel room. “Way to go, Nav. You just had to ruin our vacation.”
“I blame Rarity,” I shot back. “This was completely her fault.”
“Rarity isn’t the pony who made a rich obsessive nerd fall in love with her.”
“I didn’t make him do anything!” She lifted an eyebrow. “That’s victim blaming!” Her eyes rolled. “Fine, let’s put it in perspective. Let’s say I was actually Rose Charm, a standard poor pony maid. How well do you think things would go over if this guy actually got bounty hunters to catch me and drag me to him? He could easily keep me and there’s no way I’d be able to resist him.”
She sighed. “You’re right. We should go confront him.”
“Fuck that. I don’t wanna deal with that otaku filth.”
She stared at me blankly for a few seconds before clearing her throat. “I don’t know what otaku means.”
“Never mind. Point is, I’m not interested in dealing with that. Let’s just pack everything and blow this joint. With me back in my shitty fucked up body, we’ll need to finish everything before night falls.”
“Think about the next mare, Nav,” she said. “If he finds another mare next year to fall in love with, she might not be as capable of dealing with him as we are.”
“Well I mean, if I was a normal mare, I might not have turned him down. Or at the very least, I might not have been completely against the idea of dating. I mean, he’s loaded, he’s super sweet, and he seems lonely. I could see a normal mare falling for him. I’m just not particularly interested in being a housewife for the rest of my life.”
“Why didn’t you explain that to him instead of teleporting away?”
“I panicked. Now can we just drop this and move on? I really don’t want to talk about it.”
She sighed and nodded. “Fine. Go get everything in the bathroom. I’ll start packing in here.”
Thankfully, we only brought basic toiletries. I had it all ready to go in no time. Even better, since my current main squeeze has super overpowered magic on her side, she already had just about everything in the main room packed by the time I stepped back in. The only thing left was a dress meant for my human body and my shoes.
“Are you ready to swap back?” she asked.
“Yes, but I’m going to need at least a pair of panties. Remember, I’m on my period.”
She floated a simple pair out and set them on the bed next to the dress. “There. Now hold still.” Her magic floated me over to the bed and set me down on my back. Once I was in position, she morphed me back to my usual fucked up self. “There, much better.”
“As much as I hate being a mare, it has upsides. Namely, no ridiculous mutations.”
“I had some thoughts about that, actually,” she said. “The fire elementals might be willing to help regrow everything while you’re in a coma. Even if they can’t get it completely done, they can get it close enough that you should only be out of commission for another week or two.”
“I’ve been considering the same thing.” If only the bitch in my head would let me. “I’m sure I’ll think of something. Even if everything grows back differently, at least it would match.”
“Right? I honestly don’t know how you fly like that.”
“Barely.” I finally started getting dressed. I wasn’t bleeding quite yet, but I knew it wouldn’t be long. “So why did you pick the shortest dresses possible?”
“Because I wanted to be able to peek up them whenever I wanted.”
Figures. “Whatever. So now what?”
“You wait here. I’ll go get another room at a different inn, then teleport you and everything else over.”
“Don’t forget to become purple first.”
“Oh, right!” Her horn lit up and her standard purple coat returned. “That’s much better. Being a different color was very distracting. Now don’t have too much fun without me, Navi!” Before I could reply, she teleported out.
“I have good news and bad news,” Aqua said.
“What’s the bad news?” I sighed.
“It won’t make sense without the good news, so I’ll say that first. I believe I can disable your period entirely with the correct tweaks.”
“...Why couldn’t Flo do that?”
“Which leads me to the bad news: Doing so would completely shut down your sex drive, possibly permanently.”
“Ah.”
“I believe Flo likely could have done it, but wanted to spare you the downsides.”
“Well, shoot. Thanks for the thought or whatever, but please don’t shut it down.”
“You’re very welcome, my lovely little lady. Once you publically become my host, I would be happy to assist with removing your offending body parts and regrowing them into a more fitting shape.”
“...Can you say that in a way that isn’t ominous as fuck?”
She cleared her throat. “I apologize, that did come out wrong. Once we become friends and you announce to everyone that you are becoming my host, I will help you cut off whatever body parts you don’t like and help them heal into whatever their natural form is. I’m not able to modify whatever grows back.”
“That sounds marginally better.” I finally fell onto the bed. “Oh, how is this my life…?”
“Because you’re incredibly immature and constantly make bad decisions just to spite others. You also eschew as much responsibility as possible, do your best to never learn from your mistakes, think almost exclusively about sex, and act all the time without considering consequences. Often when you do consider the consequences, you choose to do something stupid anyway. All you seem to care about is keeping entertained, never once thinking about acting properly and taking your duties seriously. Your life is such a mess because you get yourself into horrific situation after horrific situation and then handle each one as poorly as possible. The only way you could have possibly survived as long as you have is by some manner of intervention, likely from Discord himself. Even when Flo was in your head, you constantly disregarded her advice and forced her to greater and greater lengths to make you listen. Now, if you’re very, very lucky, I can salvage this mess you’ve gotten us all into and we can actually stop Discord once and for all.”
When I was sure her rant was over, I calmly said, “That was rhetorical. I thought you were intelligent enough to realize that.”
“And she jumps straight to petty insults.”
“Fine. I disagree with your assessment. Is that better?”
That made her giggle and pantomime hugging me from behind. “Is that so, Navi? Remember yesterday, when you had sex with Shining Armor to spite me?”
“...I disagree with most of your assessment.”
She sighed and pulled me slightly tighter. “The worst part is, you actually believe that! Oh, you poor thing…”
“That’s just insulting.”
“Then I shall have to prove it by example. Once I demonstrate to you that I am always right, you will be forced to see that it’s best for me to guide you.”
“...Good luck with that. Can you please stop touching me? It seriously makes my skin crawl.”
She immediately let me go. “Fine, be that way! Ugh, you are just the worst, Nav!”
“Thank you, I’m doing my best. Feel free to leave at any time.”
She snorted. “Don’t get your hopes up. We’re gonna be together forever, Navi!”
I curled up into a ball and just started ignoring her. She didn’t appreciate it.
About half an hour later, I finally found myself on another bed. I stretched out as Twilight plopped down next to me. “That wasn’t so hard,” she said. “My backup plan paid off.”
“What backup plan?” I asked as I cuddled up next to her.
“I had a feeling we were going to be changing back eventually, so I picked out an alternate inn, one that caters to nobles. We’ll get quite a few more amenities and guaranteed privacy.”
“You did good, Twiggles,” I said, booping her on the nose.
“Are you ready for the best part?” she asked with an adorable grin.
“Sure.” Her horn lit up and two of the naga daggers appeared floating above us. “You know me too well.”
She shoved her nose against mine so she could nuzzle me. “That’s because I’m the best mare for you!”
“I gotta say, it’s gonna be interesting wearing two daggers in a tiny dress.”
I don’t think she was happy that I didn’t agree with her, but bore it well enough. After pulling back, she asked, “Will it be a problem?”
“No, I can make it work.”
She set them down behind me and started rolling off the bed. “Then let’s get ready to head back out there.”
While she powdered her nose or whatever mares do in the bathroom, I strapped one of the daggers to my lower back. I probably could have fit the other one there as well, but I didn’t think I’d need it. I was ready to go by the time she finished up.
“Is your body prepared?” I asked when she stepped back into the room.
“I think so?”
“Excellent. Then shall we?”
“Let’s. We do need to introduce you to the innkeeper first, though.”
I sighed and said, “I guess.”
“It’s tradition for all guests to greet the innkeeper here,” she said. “He likes meeting his patrons face to face.”
“Fine, whatever.”
She bumped up against me and then started walking out the door. I followed so I could get a good look at her pretty purple posterior. “Enjoying my wonderfully spankable ass?” she casually asked, her hoof on the door.
My only response was a spank. She giggled and we went on down to the lobby. This inn seemed to have a greeting area separate from the dining hall. An older male griffin was seated behind it and he grinned when he saw me. “As I live and breathe, it really is Lady Navarone!”
“In the flesh,” I replied, shooting finger pistols at him. “Always nice to meet a fan.”
“You are a legend in our city, you know,” he said. “It is an honor to have you here.”
“That’s definitely nice to hear. If you don’t mind me asking, why am I a legend here? I hear all kinds of things.”
“For starters, the knowledge you shared with Princess Gilda has done wonders for our race! The common people may not appreciate it now, but every business owner has seen the allure. She’s said many times that what she has learned from you is only the tip of the iceberg. It’s our duty to make you as comfortable as possible until you can share more.”
“I’d love to share more with Princess Gilda, but I’m afraid of increasing your technology too quickly.”
“You think we would be irresponsible?” he slowly asked.
“Not quite. I think if I give you everything at once, you would be blinded by the positives. You wouldn’t see any of the downsides and would make the same mistakes my people made. I think the spread of technology needs to be slow and methodical, so that each step can be properly refined before we move on.”
He rubbed at his chin. “You don’t think we could handle it?”
“I’ve seen what happens to a race that grows in technology faster than in culture and politics. That was my race. We created bombs so powerful they could wipe entire cities off the map and spread poison hundreds of kilometers around what was left of the city. We used those bombs to essentially destroy this planet, driving ourselves extinct. Before we completely died out, we put things in motion such that your people were created much later. So trust me when I say that we need a careful approach.”
For some reason, the look on his face was unreadable. “I heard you were a weird one, but I wasn’t quite sure what they meant. Now I think I get it. Well…” He looked me up and down before settling back on my cat-like eyes. “Yeah, I’m starting to get it.”
“But isn’t she so adorable?” Twilight asked, gently slapping me with her tail.
“Not really, but to each their own. It was interesting meeting you, my lady.”
“You too, sir.” I took that as permission to leave and Twilight and I finally went back to the festival.
I gotta say, being myself has some upsides. All of the griffins kept their distance and they seemed pretty respectful. Several gave me either free food or free mead. I guess in addition to being known as a great inventor, I was also a great hero. It was pretty neat.
It didn’t take us too much longer to get the stuff I was after. Everyone seemed much more eager to deal with me now that I had gold and soon enough, we were loaded down with all the neat swag we could possibly want.
Once we both had our fill, we began retreating back to the rooms. It was starting to get late, so I certainly wasn’t complaining. A chance to just rest for a little while sounded good to me.
And after a very scrumptious dinner provided from the hotel, that’s just what we did. It was pretty cash money.