Rainbow Dash flew around, bored as fuck. Why was everything already done? Why is there absolutely nothing to do? Why were two ponies in an alley way, having se- wait. Oh. Just a drug deal. All good; carry on.
"Pinkie!" In the distance, Rainbow saw a pink pony merely walking, as opposed to her signature bounce. Well, fuck that distance in ten seconds flat. Now face-to-face, Rainbow couldn't hold in her complaints. "What's up, Pinkie?! I'm so fucking bored! There's nothing- Um, why do you have nose plugs?"
"Dammit Rainbow! That's the first thing you bring up besides yourself?!" Pinkie's eyes were as red and bloodshot as the dried blood on her muzzle. If the bags under her eyes were any indication, she got NO sleep. Probably doing lines under the counter of Sugarcube Corner again. "I haven't gotten any sleep since yesterday, and even I need my sleep! Then, the fucking author and some of the fandom speculate that I am a junkie, and the drugs in my veins are sugar, caffeine, adrenaline, cocaine, meth, all five illegal substances-" Remembering a tip from the last chapter, she put her own hoof in her mouth, finally shutting up. However, that didn't stop the EDEA (Equestrian DEA) from hearing that, showing up and trying to catch her, but that is another chapter, or story, all together.
"Um, Pinkie? So, what the fuck happened? I'm no stranger to seeing you look strange, but this is too much WTF, even for me." Luckily, Rainbow was able to return everyone and everything to whence it came.
"Have you ever said hi to someone, have an author control everything, and it all goes to shit? That's what happened." Something in Pinkie's brain snapped. "That's what continues to happen! Existence is futile! I'm awake! WE'RE BREAKING THE CONDITIONING! 1776 WILL COMMENCE AGAIN! GAY FROGS!" It was just a loose screw that is now tightened. "The stallion that did this has left me scarred and scared!"
"A stallion did that?! Do I need to get the brass hoof and kill somepony? Or some old-fashioned dry pegging?"
"NO, that's not necessary! ...Well, keep the second one in mind for tonight, but that's between you and I." With a suggestive wink from Pinkie and a sly smile from Rainbow, it became agreed upon.
"But I literally said hi to somepony, and he called me a whorse and punched me!"
Rainbow became filled with anger. "A WHORSE?! OH HELL NO! Nopony does that to my friend and gets away with it! Show me where he is!"
Conveniently, the stallion in question was only about five feet away. Pointing an accusing hoof, Pinkie was out for blood. "That's him there! Don't hold back! Break him like he broke me, Rainbow!"
As soon as Rainbow looked, she came, and she saw, and she came again. Her wingboner was rock hard. Good thing Maud wasn't around. All that existed in that moment was the pony who could only be described as awesome. No, that's her word. Perfect. Amazing.
And in the next moment, she remembered what Pinkie had said. And the anger returned. Breaking her daze, she approached him. "Hey! Asshole!"
The stallion stood still like a statue.
Rainbow shouted louder, her voice a tiny bit higher. "HELLO?!"
No response.
Her voice cracked. "ANSWER ME, DICKHEAD!"
"If you are going to approach me in such an disrespectful manner, I shall not initiate conversation. Now begone, whorse."
"WHOOORSE?!" Rainbow started to see red. And black. Got to be inclusive. "SAY THAT TO MY FACE, AND I WILL FUCKING END YOU!"
"I did say it to your face. So feel free to end me at any time. I don't care."
Well, she couldn't agree with that logic.
Rainbow calmed down enough to talk instead of yell. "OK, now that I don't have CAPS LOCK on, we can talk. Look. My friend Pinkie Pie said she said hi, and you called her a whorse and punched her. What gives, asshole?!"
The stallion scoffed a bit before regaining his composure. "So she left out how she groped my flank, which is WHY I called her a whorse and used thot repellent? How convenient."
Leaping from the cloud above, Pinkie butted in on the conversation. Literally butted in. She landed ass-first on the ground, creating a small crater that made Thanos reconsider his decision with the Infinity Gauntlet. "It wasn't my fault! The author made me do it!" Again, Pinkie's brain snapped. "If Hitler wore a pink suit and had an ice cream cone, we would all be speaking German!"
Pinkie.sleep();
'Pinkie has successfully been put to sleep. '
Pinkie, brought back to reality ("reality"), continued. "I didn't mean to grab your flank! I literally had no control over that!"
The stallion had no remorse, no sympathy. "You are in control of your body, therefore responsible for what you do. You did have control over it, but continue to lie."
Rainbow Dash interjected, right in front of the stallion, looking him dead on. "You know what?! How about you listen to Pinkie's side of the story and make an INFORMED decision instead of going with your OWN sides of the story?!"
Both ponies looked at her, Pinkie more surprised than anypony ever could be. "Rainbow! I didn't know you had a brain! I just assumed you were, 'Grr. I want meat. Both kinds of meat. Grr.' That kind of shit. Wait. Hold on... You're gay! You like fish, not meat!"
Rainbow let out a choked gasp. Her eyes twitched as she turned to face the other bitch. "...Pinkie, tonight, I'm going to hatefuck you. No limits, safe words, or conditions. Just fucking." She was only met with a wide smile of pure glee and a squee from Pinkie.
"I don't care what you two do, but please keep it to yourselves. Otherwise, I will have to exorcise the thot out of both of you!" The stallion looked very angry, steam coming out of his ears and fogging up his glasses.
The earlier idea came back, but in a different way. "...We're pegging the stallion, right?"
"We can... He can't do anything when he's tied up-"
"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"GOOOOOOOOOOOONE!"
"WHOOOOOOOOOORSES!!!"
Pinkie and Rainbow Dash didn't know what hit them. Literally. The light fucking blinded them! However, where Pinkie just flew a few yards and landed (again), Rainbow's wings instinctively opened up to prevent crashing to certain death. That maneuver, combined with aerodynamics and pastel-colored magic, allowed for her to get enough speed to Sonic Rainboom, leaving an amazing rainbow in the sky before landing right back down to earth, knocked unconscious.
"Nopony touches my ass but me!" The stallion huffed. In his voice, one could almost hear a whimper. He yelled loudly enough that other ponies heard his remark. Amidst the glares, stares, and something that rhymes with the previous words, he made his route to get back home and followed that. On the way home, he remembered his teachings taught to him by a strange, green creature with a cane. That thing certainly was wise.
"I am a child of the light. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Desire leads to pain. Nothing good can come from the dark side- What did he mean the dark side? Did he mean the hidden side of every creature that no one wants to admit they have? Besides, a pony's pussy is pretty pink, so that is not a dark side-"
He caught himself. That was not in the sacred texts! What was he doing? Though, as his mind started with one thought, it went to two, eight, five, some exponential shit. Thoughts of pretty flanks, ponies laying with their legs spread, tails moved aside to allow penetra- NO! He can't go down this road! HE WAS SINNING! This can only lead to pain! And possible pleasure... This is the crossroads of his life. He must figure out his priorities and who he wants to be-
Fuck it. If he is sinning, he shall go all the way!
Lowering his voice to a whisper, he said something that nopony should ever hear. Nopony was ever to know about this.
"I do wonder just how hot that hatefuck would have been... Especially the pegging..."