Fluttershy sat alone, Weeping Willow sitting next to her. He was talking about something she could barely listen to... a video game, maybe? She clenched and unclenched her hands. She liked to think he knew she was upset, but she did not want to pay enough attention to find out for sure.
It had been over twelve hours since the car ride. It was now her birthday. She had not slept.
They knew. Even though there was nothing to know, they knew.
She watched him talk. His expression was smug and harsh as always, but there was something different, too, an agitation. He looked distracted. She wondered if it was empathy, if he knew her well enough to feel her distress.
It was inevitable they would end up knowing all that nothing there was to know. It is very difficult to hide nothing, after all. They were her friends; they cared about her. They were concerned and kind and thoughtful and motivated to help her. Fluttershy felt dizzy.
Things had completely spun out of control weeks ago. Everything had been fine, and then a few innocent touches and kind smiles and it was like physics exploded. She got lost, and that was good, because if everything was just jumbled and confusing, then nothing had to be true.
Bizarrely, the only constant she'd had was Weeping. She turned her attention back to him; his yammering was stangely comforting.
He was like a rat or an iguana... one of those pets barely anyone appreciates. He had rescued her, in a way. He asked her out at the perfect time, and she suddenly felt terribly guilty for not showing him how much she appreciated that, even if he didn't mean it.
She stood, feeling completely unable to access her own thoughts, and grabbed him by the shoulders. He stopped talking and looked at her in surprise. "Flutters--"
She leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.
The kiss felt like a handful of dead shrimp being rubbed against the bottom half of her face. His mouth tasted like old milk, and his body left a streak of clamminess behind wherever he touched. Still, she squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as possible, and she kept going.
She was very surprised when she slowly felt herself pushed away. She opened her eyes and saw Weeping staring back at her, oddly unreadable.
"Don't you want to?" she asked very quietly.
He did not answer for a moment, then he snorted. "I just gotta go," he said. "Your birthday surprise, remember? I'll see you later. It's gonna blow your mind." Not looking at her, but still smirking, he grabbed his notebook and quickly left.
Fluttershy fell back against the sofa, bewildered. She felt empty and abandoned and cold.
Blankly, she reached into her pocket, pulled out her phone, and glanced at the screen. Sunset and Twilight had called. Pinkie and Rarity and Applejack had texted her.
They were all concerned about her, and they cared about her so purely, and they were all talking about her behind her back.
She put her phone back in her pocket, stood, and went to try to find them. She had absolutely no idea what she was feeling. She wondered if there was anything to know.
Starlight walked back into the library, scratching her head with a hoof. She was not quite as anxious as Fluttershy thought she should be. "Well, I don't know," Starlight said idly. "I couldn't find Moon Dancer or Spike or Twilight."
Fluttershy looked down at her hooves nervously. "Shouldn't they be here?"
"Oh no, no, it's fine," Starlight replied. "I bet Spike and Moon Dancer are off getting breakfast, and Twilight just isn't back yet. I'll tell you what, right after you go through the mirror, I'll go find Moon Dancer and tell her what you're doing."
Fluttershy froze. "Oh... you're not coming with me?" she asked with alarm. "But you've been there before, and I..."
"Somepony's got to let Moon Dancer know where you are, right?" Starlight asked, her casualness beginning to cross the line from disconcerting to outright nerve-wracking. "Sunset is super-nice, and she's waiting for you."
Fluttershy frowned. She looked at the portal, all built-up like a mechanical monster. "This special somehuman. Do you know what he's like?"
Starlight scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "From what Twilight said, he's... hm. Imagine a cross between Snips and Tirek."
"Oh dear." Fluttershy hesitantly poked a hoof at the portal. "It doesn't hurt, does it?"
"Nope! It's weird, though. It gave me a watch, even though I don't wear one as a pony." Starlight walked closer, smiling reassuringly. "It's fine! You'll be there and back in no time. And we'll be able to contact you with the magic journal, if we need to."
Fluttershy hesitated again, mostly just for the sake of hesitating, by this point. She nodded. "Okay," she said very seriously. And then she walked steadily forward.
Fluttershy's mind drifted as she stepped into the mirror and the magic began swirling around her. She had a lot on her mind; her counterpart's situation filled her with a weird, pensive, anxious nostalgia.
Her friends. Her wonderful, not-quite-perfect friends.
Rainbow Dash was a bunny: both wonderful and terrible.
She was the first pony Fluttershy ever told. It was perfect. One of her most treasured memories was that one moment right after she told Dash she was gay, and she forgot for a minute that there was anything weird about it to begin with. She felt supported and loved and trusted... not only was she fine the way she was, but whoever might disagree deserved to be humiliated in a race. But Dash's possessiveness and fear of change made things hard sometimes, too.
Rarity was a cat: cuddly and affectionate and very difficult to read.
Fluttershy had never met such a cosmopolitan, urbane pony as Rarity, so she told her early in their friendship. Rarity acted like she was being entrusted with important, secret knowledge, the kind that could be used to save a kingdom. She was supportive and kind and positive. But... there was a weirdness to things for a while, strange expressions and lingering words and accidentally hurtful comments. The first time Rarity encouraged her to say out loud who she had a crush on (Mayor Mare, who was poised and dignified and just a tiny bit butch) it was a thrilling, terrifying, wonderful moment. Immediately afterwards, Rarity said, "Yes, Mayor Mare is very popular among the stallions in town," and Fluttershy felt small and quiet. Rarity had not said anything like that for a long time, but Fluttershy still remembered.
Pinkie was a parrot: loud and secretly intelligent and always watching.
Fluttershy never told Pinkie, but one day that little pink wonder just bounced up to her and asked her if she'd ever noticed that really super-beautiful, apple-selling earth pony around town, because her name was Applejack and she was Pinkie's really good friend and she had said maybe that she would be really interested in going on a date with Fluttershy. And it was that easy. But... how long had Pinkie known? How had she figured it out? Fluttershy knew she couldn't stop ponies from thinking whatever they were going to think, but... how many of them were thinking THAT before she even told them about it?
Applejack was a basset hound, intuitive and easy-going and stubborn.
Their date was wonderful, though there was absolutely no romantic chemistry between them. It had just felt like two good friends spending a nice evening together, so they became two good friends who liked to spend nice evenings together. But they had argued once. Applejack saw no purpose to talking about her romantic tendencies, much less defining them. That was fine, if it was how she really felt.... but Fluttershy just had a selfish side that wanted a comrade-in-arms. Fluttershy had let the conversation go, still a bit agitated and worried. But, one time, Rarity had made some oblivious statement about Hearts and Hooves Day being about "mares and stallions," and Fluttershy caught Applejack's eye and they shared a brief, silent moment.
Twilight Sparkle was a dragonfly: clever and curious and very, very innocent.
She seemed to be oblivious to the very idea of romance, and when she did think about it, it was either magical theory straight out of a graduate-level textbook, or princesses getting married in beautiful dresses; nothing in-between. Fluttershy was not sure if Twilight just assumed everypony was straight, or if she didn't realize anypony was anything.
These were wonderful, wonderful ponies who loved her and wanted the best for her. She was so grateful to have them.. But even with all this support, things were never perfect, and some things were still hard.
But it didn't feel good to complain about the imperfection of ponies you knew you were lucky to have.
It was bothersome. Things were complicated in a very Fluttershy kind of way. Other ponies often did not understand how twisted up things could get in her head (thought critters often did, somehow), so she assumed humans would be the same way. The best thing she could do for her counterpart was just to sit there and listen and understand.
She looked down and saw her front hooves had turned into odd, raccoon-like grabbies, and she wondered how she could possibly understand a creature that walked around all day with such weird-looking things. But, she also noted that Starlight had been right: the portal dressed her up, and she was wearing a cute little skirt and top, which was a nice surprise.
She emerged from the portal rather suddenly, feeling cloddy and oafish, and she twirled and stumbled and fell back onto her behind. She had been nervous about going alone, but a small spark of pride within her felt relieved that Starlight was not there to see her so graceless. The pride turned into embarrassment when she realized that Starlight's very smart, cool, and comfortably-bipedal friend Sunset was somewhere nearby and had doubtlessly seen her fall.
She looked around. There was a big building nearby, windows dark, clearly closed-up for the day. There was the statue she had fallen out of, and an empty parking lot. Besides that: nothing. No one was there.
"Um... Sunset... Shimmer?" she called, too quietly to be heard anyway. There was a rustling sound from somewhere to her side. She quickly tried to turn to look, but got confused with her ungainly body and fell over sideways. The rustling stopped, and things were still again.
She struggled to her... feet... as quickly as she could. Once she was upright, she realized it was easier than she'd thought to stay that way: her body just seemed to want to balance. She called again, louder, "Sunset Shimmer?" There was nothing. She was alone.
She stood there for a moment, bewildered. She wondered how such a miscommunication had possibly happened, and she felt weak and dumb. Other ponies would know what to do: they'd just go back through the portal or leave to find Sunset somehow, but she was frozen.
That was when the chirping started. A bird flew down in front of her, swooping around and twittering. Then a second came and a third and a fourth, flying in small circles around her head. They seemed happy but confused.
"Oh, hello, darlings," she said, automatically. "Um, please, it's wonderful to meet you, but being here is so overwhelming. Could you try to calm down, please?"
They did not calm down. More and more birds joined them, chittering and singing at her with directed intensity. They swirled and screeched and she began to feel light-headed. But suddenly, a loud, ugly squawk pierced the air. The birds immediately went silent. They drifted out to nearby trees and perched.
Fluttershy blanched. Directly in front of her, regarding her with curiosity and interest, were two, large, black crows.
"Oh... hello," Fluttershy said hesitantly. "Thank you so much for helping them calm down. But... I'm afraid I'm not who any of you think I am."
The crows glanced at one another. They had a quick cawing conversation, and then one of them hopped closer to her and rubbed its head against her leg. The other quickly followed, standing nearby and letting her pat his head softly.
"Oh. Well." She blushed slightly. "Thank you for your hospitality. I really appreciate it."
She noticed that the slightly smaller crow suddenly had a small piece of chalk in his beak. He bent over and jerkingly drew, on the pavement, a stick-figure pony and a question mark.
Fluttershy paused. Crows are very smart. "Oh, yes! I am a pony! And... I'm looking for the human that looks like me?"
The crows cawed at one another again. They both lifted up into the air and slowly flew a few feet off to her right, then landed back on the ground, looking at her expectantly. She haltingly willed her strange body to walk after them.
Starlight Glimmer walked through Ponyville, curious and perky. She had been correct to start her search for Moon Dancer by asking Pinkie Pie, who seemed to have an internal radar displaying the locations of all her friends at any given time. She had told Starlight that Moon Dancer was probably in the shopping district, but "be careful, because something really important is happening." Starlight had asked how Pinkie knew that, and Pinkie replied, "Because twitcha-twitcha boing twitch." Starlight had not pressed further.
Moon Dancer was not difficult to find. The market was fairly busy, typical of a Saturday, but there was a noticeable bubble of solitude surrounding one pony, a subtle and dark aura that appeared to make everypony think twice about walking too close.
Starlight came near and saw the source of the miasma. Moon Dancer sat alone at a small picnic table, very angrily reading a book. Starlight was not sure how it was even possible to angrily read, but Moon Dancer was very definitely doing it.
Starlight hesitantly walked up to her. Moon Dancer looked up, held a bitter glare for exactly one second, and then looked back down at her book.
"Um," Starlight said, very confused. "Rough morning? I... have a hangover cure spell, if you..."
"No." Moon Dancer kept staring down at her book. "I already cast one. Then I cast a hangover causing spell to give myself a hangover again."
"What? Why did you do that?"
"It's what I deserve."
Starlight blinked. Despite their bonding experience, there was a lot she did not understand about this introverted pony before her.
Moon Dancer turned a page in her book. "I talked to Twilight," she said, still reading.
"You did?" Starlight asked, frowning. "How? She's not back yet."
"Yes, she is. I talked to her." Moon Dancer turned another page. "It didn't go well. Hey, you're good at magic, can you give me like a super hangover?"
"What do you mean, it didn't go well?"
Moon Dancer turned another page. She was clearly doing it to pointedly call attention to her book; even she could not have read an entire page so fast. "I mean, I said the cruelest things I could think of, and she cried, and now I don't think we're friends anymore."
"What?" Starlight grabbed the book with her magic and tossed it away. Moon Dancer kept staring at the spot where the book was.
"Ow!" a voice called from a nearby stall. "Hey, who's throwin' books around?!"
"I don't know what's so confusing about it," Moon Dancer said evenly. "I told her she ruined my life, and that she looked down on me, and... I don't remember, something sarcastic about 'the magic of friendship.'" She levitated another book from the ground, opened it, and began reading. "Just stuff I thought would hurt."
Starlight grabbed the new book and tossed it away. "Agh!" the voice yelled. "Seriously, who keeps doin' that?!"
"Why?!" Starlight asked, utterly baffled. "Because she likes Fluttershy? You're fighting over Fluttershy?"
Moon Dancer rolled her eyes and finally looked at the pony before her. "No, she doesn't even like Fluttershy. And Fluttershy's not going to leave me for Twilight, anyway. I just wanted to be mean."
Starlight felt herself sputtering in confusion. "...what? I don't understand. You don't care about her any more because of this?"
"Of course I care about her," Moon Dancer replied, eyes bloodshot. "She's my best friend. I love her. I just was so mad, and... never mind, it's too late. I broke things."
Starlight looked down at the ground for a moment, then very suddenly felt herself consumed with furious energy. "NOPE!" she yelled.
Moon Dancer looked at her, surprised. "What?"
Starlight shook her head madly. "Nope nope nope!"
"What are you--wauugh!" Starlight grabbed Moon Dancer in a cocoon of magic, dragging her into the air above her own head.
"Nope!" Starlight exclaimed, beginning to trot away, Moon Dancer hanging upside-down in the air above her. "You are not doing this! We're going to the castle and you're talking to Twilight!"
"But..."
"NOPE."
Moon Dancer sighed. "I don't want to."
"Too bad! There's a new Friendship Sheriff in town, and it's Sheriff Starlight, and she doesn't let best friendships end because of something dumb like this! And she doesn't let her friends sit and mope when they should be fixing their problems!"
Moon Dancer fidgeted uncomfortably in the cocoon. "It's no use. I just got so mad at her, and I don't even know why."
"Agh!" Starlight stopped walking and drew Moon Dancer downward so she could stare intently into her upside-down eyes. "You got mad because you've been friends forever, and you can't be friends with somepony forever without a bunch of unresolved stuff! You guys have baggage. You guys have little stupid kid baggage, which is the worst kind."
"But..."
"NOPE NOPE!" Starlight bellowed. "I am an expert in stupid little kid baggage, and it is the dumbest thing. These dumb little thoughts you had when you were like eight sit around wrecking things and that's stupid." She started walking again, jerking Moon Dancer along. "You're mad about stuff that doesn't even make sense! You totally know Twilight doesn't look down on you. If anything, she looks up to you! You just were worried about that when you were a little kid, and you never talked about it!"
There was a long pause. Finally, Moon Dancer said, "I don't know if I can face her after everything I said."
"I do!" Starlight replied. "You can! Done!"
Starlight walked in silence for a while, still feeling righteous and strong. "By the way!" she announced, "I looked up a picture of your friend Minuette. You were right! She's really pretty!"
"She's straight, though," Moon Dancer said, sounding confused and dazed.
"So am I!" Starlight barked. "Maybe! I don't know! I'll think about it later!" She trotted along, the castle beginning to come into view.
"I'm scared," Moon Dancer said, very quietly.
Starlight stopped walking. Then she started again, slower. "I know," she said, softly. "That's okay."
There was a long silence. Finally, Starlight heard Moon Dancer say, "Thanks."
Starlight grinned proudly. "Oh," she said, suddenly remembering something important. "Fluttershy's in another dimension, by the way."
"Fluttershy is what now?"
Twilight Sparkle lay on her side, completely cried-out. She felt cold and dry and numb.
She knew she was so lucky to have wonderful friends who loved her (and to be the super-powerful alicorn princess of friendship) but a piece of her had just never been convinced she deserved it. It was a small piece, and it was usually quiet. But Moon Dancer could make it sing arias.
Cerebrally, she recognized there was a contradiction in her thinking. From one perspective, she didn't deserve to be Moon Dancer's friend because she had so cruelly ruined Moon Dancer's life and rendered her sad, weak, and broken. Simultaneously, she didn't deserve to be Moon Dancer's friend because Moon Dancer was ten times cooler and more popular than she was.
But instead of resolving the contradiction, she just settled on feeling both guilty and pathetic at the same time. This was especially useful, because she also got to feel stupid for ignoring a contradiction in her logic.
She could feel one positive emotion, and that was gratitude to Spike. She had popped them both into The Sadness Zone (a pocket dimension simulacrum of her childhood bedroom that she had created for just these types of situations), and there, he had kept the panic from spiraling too much.
Once the anxiety began to ebb, they popped back into the castle and she sent him away to go get Fluttershy. They needed to figure something out. If she and Moon Dancer couldn't be friends anymore, then she needed to know if she was going to lose Fluttershy, too. As an added bonus, she got to be alone and feel sorry for herself for a minute.
Just a minute. Not to linger that way, but just to rest.
She stood and walked mopily through the castle. She assumed Starlight was off getting lunch (and how bizarre, on a day that was such a disaster for her, it'd be so normal to other ponies they'd do something as mundane as get lunch), but the solitude felt right, for the moment. She wandered randomly.
But as she passed by the library, she saw an odd glow coming from inside. She stuck her head into the room and saw that her magic journal lay on the center table, and apparently Sunset had sent her a message. She dumbly walked up to the journal and opened it up to the newest page, vaguely hoping something very depressing was written there.
SPECIAL URGENT MESSAGE SPECIFICALLY TO TWILIGHT SPARKLE AND NO ONE ELSE
Twilight blinked in surprise.
twilight hello. we need you. just you, twilight sprkale. Fluttershy is very sad. only you can help her. Come to this world as soon as you can.
Twilight sucked in a breath. What could possibly be happening in the human world? She vaguely hesitated, but then she saw the end of the message:
You have to come save her. You, Twilight sparkle.
Twilight filled with energy, purpose, and even a little righteous anger. She knew what to do. There was a place she was needed. There was a problem only she could fix, a problem that wouldn't just linger horribly. She could be the hero. There was someone, somewhere she could make happy.
Almost purely on instinct, she charged into the mirror.
It was not until she already had hands and was stumbling forward onto the concrete that she thought: Wait, how could I possibly be the only one who could help human Fluttershy? That doesn't make any s--
A bright flash of light. The feeling of being trapped. Laughter.