//------------------------------// // S4E5: Dragon Her Hooves (GaPJaxie) // Story: The Starlight & Pals Magical Half Hour // by Cold in Gardez //------------------------------// Twilight awoke in her bed. She brushed her teeth. She brushed her mane. She walked downstairs for breakfast. There, sitting at her kitchen table, was a fully grown adult dragon. Also, Smoulder and Terramar. Terramar was eating a muffin. Twilight examined the adult dragon closely. It had light purple scales with dark purple highlights, a streak of green along its sides, and little marks along its scales that seemed vaguely sorcerous. “Good morning!” the dragon said. Its voice, while deep, was obviously feminine. “Starlight?” Twilight asked. “That’s my name!” the fully grown adult dragon said, and Twilight again noted that said fully grown adult dragon was sitting at her kitchen table. “What…” Twilight lifted a hoof to her forehead, rubbing the spot where soon she would have a headache. “Why are you a dragon?” “What’s wrong with being a dragon?” Smoulder demanded. “Nothing.” A hiss of breath escaped between Twilight’s teeth. “I’m just wondering why Starlight is a dragon instead of a pony.” “Oh, so there’s something wrong with feeling like you’re part of two races?” Terramar demanded, folding his forelegs over the table. Starlight smiled, showing off a full set of dragon’s teeth in the process. Twilight looked from her, to Smoulder, to Terramar, and then to her kitchen table. There was a teeny tiny bowl of gems in front of Starlight’s spot. Plus, somepony had made Twilight pancakes. “Fine,” Twilight said. “You know what? I don’t even want to know why. But I’m not helping you pick up small objects.” Twilight stalked over to the table, picked up a knife and fork, and forcefully cut up her pancakes. Glowering at the table, she added: “And if you lay an egg, I’m not babysitting it. Eggsitting it. Whatever. In fact, I’m making a rule. No eggs in the castle.” “Twilight…” Starlight laughed. A plume of smoke shot out of her nose and blackened Twilight’s ceiling. “Come on. I don’t have a special dragon in my life, so even if I did lay an egg, it would be unfertilized. It wouldn't need to be eggsat.” “Fine.” “But if you’d like, I am curious what a dragon egg omelette tastes like!” For a long time, Twilight sat in silence. The glow around her horn flickered and finally went out, and her knife and fork fell to the table. She buried her face in her hooves. “A-and then,” little Dynamo leaned against Starlight’s leg and sniffled, tears pouring down her face, “Gimbal Lock said I was ugly. And one of her friends pushed me and everypony was yelling and then they locked my bag in the unused locker and I couldn’t get it out. And…” “Shhh.” Starlight cooed. A little jet of flame shot out of her nose and ignited the school’s topiary bushes. They were on the school lawn outside Starlight’s old office, or as she was given to calling it, her new dragon-accessible office. Because, as previously mentioned, Starlight was a fully grown adult dragon, and thus slightly larger than several of the actual school buildings. “It’ll be okay. I know it hurts right now. Being bullied can hurt worse than anything. But your friends—your real friends—will be there to help you. And I promise, I’ll make sure you don’t get bullied anymore.” Her claws were as long as spears, and with the side of one, she gently brushed Dynamo’s back. “Okay?” “Oh…” Dynamo sniffled. “Okay.” “Good. Now drink your empathy coco.” Starlight watched Dynamo until she took a sip of her coco. Once she was sure the little filly’s breathing was slowing, she reached up to the school building with a claw. She counted windows, muttering under her breath. “It’s 3:30, so… one, two, three, four, five. There we go.” With a single massive hand, she reached out and tore the exterior wall off of one of the classrooms. Bricks shattered, wood snapped, and metal sheared away. Fluttershy and a dozen students were left staring into the open air where once there had been a solid surface, their eyes wide and mouths agape. “Hey, Fluttershy,” Starlight said. “I’m sorry to interrupt your class, but can I speak with Gimbal Lock for a second?” “Eeeeeeee,” said Fluttershy, from her position hiding under her desk. “Thanks!” Starlight folded her claws until only one was left, and with that single lance she pointed right at Gimbal Lock in the second row. “Detention,” she said. Gimbal Lock shook at her desk. She peed herself in front of the rest of the class. And then, staring at the pointed tip of that mighty claw, she started to cry. “Don’t you try and sweet-talk me. You know what you did.” Starlight shook her head. “Anyway, sorry to interrupt the class.” “Eeeeeeee,” said Fluttershy. Starlight picked up a fistful of the displaced brick, wood, and pipes, and smushed them back into where the exterior wall had been a moment ago, more-or-less plugging the hole in the building with debris. “You okay?” Starlight asked, looking down to Dynamo. She was still leaning against Starlight’s leg. “Yeah. Thank you.” Dynamo reached out with both forelegs, hugging Starlight Glimmer as best she should. “You’re the best guidance counselor ever.” Watching from her office on the top floor, Twilight ground her teeth. “I wanna be just like you when I grow up!” said one of the little students. An earth pony. “I always thought I was going to work on a farm, but watching you fly around and do magic is amazing. Is there any way I can do what you did?” “Well,” Twilight said, “not everypony can be an alicorn. But with friendship in your heart, you can accomplish anything. The first step—” “No, not you. Starlight.” The whole class turned to look at Starlight. “Oh,” Starlight said. She flicked her tail awkwardly, and destroyed one of the school outbuildings. “I don’t want to undercut Twilight. She’s entirely correct! With friendship in your heart, you really can accomplish anything. But if you want to complete the Ritual of Serpentine Ascension, you’re also going to need some supplies: a very sharp knife, fifty komodo dragons, one hundred yards of strong wire…” Starlight paused: “Wait, hold on. Do you have something to write this down? It’s kind of a long list.” “Foolish ponies!” An unnatural, resonant voice echoed across the streets of Ponyville. A bolt of green fire descended from the sky, and where it landed, a dark thing of chitin and unnatural hunger stood. “I, Queen Chrysalis, have returned to take my revenge upon…” She paused. “Oh… I, uh…” Starlight backhanded her, sending her flying into the town hall, through the town hall, out of the town hall, and finally into Cinderblocks and Convenient Backstops store in the Ponyville market. She hit the demo display case with a meaty thump, and groaning, slid to the ground unconscious. “Oh.” Watching from her wagon, Trixie stood with her mouth agape. Then she grinned. She hopped out of her wagon and trotted across the square to where Starlight sat. “Hey, Trixie,” Starlight called. When she sat, her long neck made her tall enough she had to look down at the tiny pony below her. “You okay?” By way of an answer, Trixie climbed up Starlight’s side, scrambled up her shoulders, and lept up her neck like a dexterous mountain goat. She clung to Starlight’s head, and spoke in a throaty manner that sounded vaguely like whispering but that was anything but quiet: “Dragons are hot.” Starlight laughed. “Oh you.” She let out a puff of smoke, and reached up to pluck Trixie from her head. It took her utmost care not to nick Trixie with her claws, but she managed it, and held Trixie tight in her grip. Ponies around Ponyville stared, unable to look away. A curl of smoke from Starlight’s muzzle brushed Trixie’s face, and a shudder passed through the little pony. “Okay. Okay. Okay,” Trixie said. “How do we make this work?” “I’ve been thinking about this. First, I lift-” “Woah woah woah!” Twilight charged out into the open, stepping over Chrysalis’s unconscious body without so much as slowing down. “You two cannot do that in public! You’re outside, for Celestia’s sake!” Bursting out of the door of a nearby shop, Smoulder shouted: “Mating outdoors is a cornerstone of draconic depictions of love! Stop oppressing my culture!” “I’m not oppressing your culture! She’s not even a real dragon!” From his seat at the frozen yogurt stand up the street, Terramar leapt to his hooves: “Oh, so you get to decide who is and isn’t a ‘real’ member of a race? Respect my species identity!” “Is she paying you two to do this!?” Smoulder shook her fist. “Bribery is a traditional part of dragon culture too you ethnocentric horse!” Twilight started to a laugh. At first it seemed she might cry. Then the laugh turned manic. “What about Trixie? Is Trixie a dragon too?” Then Smoulder, Terramar, Starlight, and Trixie all shouted at once: “And what’s wrong with interracial relationships!?” Twilight awoke in her bed. She brushed her teeth. She brushed her mane. She walked downstairs for breakfast. There, sitting at her kitchen table, was a unicorn pony named Starlight Glimmer. Also Spike. Starlight was sitting in the deep dragon-shaped depression in the floor and eating a bowl of hay. Somepony had made Twilight pancakes. “Spell wore off?” Twilight asked, cutting up her pancakes without a pause. “Nah. Too much trouble picking up small objects.” “Well. Good.” Twilight ate in silence, and Starlight and Spike did the same. Then Starlight sneezed—a powerful full-body, “ACH-CHOO!” that shook her in her place. A bright rush of green fire surrounded her, and when it subsided, a changeling drone was left in Starlight’s place. It looked like any other drone: black chitin, hole-riddled legs, gossamer wings and all. The only difference was that its frill was a light purple instead of black. Twilight didn’t ask any questions. She finished her pancakes, went out for a walk, and bought the biggest bug-zapper she could find.