//------------------------------// // Chapter 9. Dreams // Story: Learning to see Luna, the story of Vivid Colour. // by Hope //------------------------------// Vivid felt like a fool. Magic was one thing, but a summoning circle for a princess was just superstition, the sort of thing real mages joked about farmers trying. She checked for the fifth time that the different phases of the moon were represented perfectly, her magic shimmering on the grass despite the sunlight coming over the horizon. Far above her, in Canterlot perched on the side of the mountain, she knew that the ponies of the city were going to sleep. She’d grown used to it, but it still struck her as unusual to sleep through the day. Abruptly, Vivid became aware of a magical force entering her area. It began as a beam of energy like concentrated light coming down from the top of the mountain. Then quickly became a sequence of three spell circles, that then folded together into a sphere. She’d never witnessed anything like it. The light consolidated into points, then lines. They warped into curves and Vivid was able to watch as the outline and then the form of Princess Luna was constructed from solid magic. “What I would give to witness my teleportation with your vision,” Luna said softly as she turned to face Vivid then paused, looking down. She seemed dumbstruck before laughing. “Did the guards tell you that you had to summon me?” Vivid’s cheeks burned hot, as she tried to smile, and nod. “A… bit of a joke on their part, I’m sure.” "Breathe easily, Vivid," Luna said as she smiled fondly. "They tease you because they know you have my favor." Luna approached, but when she lowered her head to kiss the smaller pony Vivid turned away, still blushing. "Have I caused you pain, Vivid?" Luna asked, her voice full of concern. "I'd never kissed a pony before you," Vivid said, almost accusing in her tone. "I am honored to be your first," Luna said solemnly, trying not to smile. "But I was drunk! I've never kissed a mare before, and then you take advantage of me while I'm so drunk I do not even remember it!" "Vivid Colour, I know what is in your heart. You do not need to deny it, simply because you are frightened of me. However, if you decide you never wish to see me again, I will accommodate despite the heartbreak it would cause me." Vivid stopped protesting, scuffing the ground with a good as she wilted under Luna's concerned gaze. Again, Luna leaned closer, and this time their lips met gently. Vivid felt like her breath might as well be hot steam, swirling around her face as Luna's face moved slightly away from hers. Her heart was racing. She wondered how, how in the world she could have forgotten having done it before. "You're crying," Luna whispered as she carefully put a hoof on Vivid's cheek. "It's... I'm... They are happy tears," Vivid said with a small chuckle. "I have never..." Luna moved closer, then put her forelegs and wings around Vivid, pulling her close in her embrace, warm and safe. "You said last day, that you were afraid of making love. Of being with a mare. Something about my sister's retribution?" she whispered, worried. "I was raised to revere Celestia," Vivid mumbled as she laid her head against Luna's chest, the alicorn's heartbeat soothing her. "Many churches said that she hated Sapphic mares, and those stallions who love their own kind." Luna sighed, looking up at the sun above. "I would not know," Luna sighed as she looked back down to Vivid. "When I banished her, it was before I had even come to know what I was, in that sense. We never discussed it. It shall be most... Interesting when she returns." "When she returns?" Vivid asked, turning her head up and finding the most comfortable spot as her head laid in the curve of Luna's neck. "Later, Vivid. I only have hours with you," Luna said, laying her head on Vivid's and chuckling softly. The vibration of the laugh hummed across Vivid's nose, making her feel oddly giddy. "Time... Time with me, is not so precious." "Oh but indeed it is!" Luna insisted as she squeezed Vivid closer, her hoof running down Vivid's chest to her stomach, where she made a small nervous squeaking sound. "Oh! You did not make that sort of noise last night," Luna giggled. "What noise," Vivid mumbled as Luna ran her hoof down again and got a second whimper from her. "That noise. It is... quite appealing." Luna turned Vivid under her grip, so that her back was against Luna's stomach. She then stroked Vivid's sides gently. "Don't be so stiff and scared, the guards would not dare spy on their princess and her lover." "They know?!" Vivid hissed, shocked as Luna held her closer, stopping her from squirming too much. "They protect my very life, Vivid Colour," Luna said sternly, before kissing the top of her head. "They know every step I take, but in return they are wholly loyal. They would protect thy life just the same." Vivid only relaxed a little, as she sniffled. "It's... Quite jarring to be afraid of all this for so long, then to be expected to allow guards to know of my... desires." She was then interrupted by her own moan as Luna's hoof drifted even lower, while the other pulled her against Luna's body, surrounded by so much warmth, Luna's whole body cradling the little pony. "P...Please, I can't..." The moment Vivid stuttered, Luna paused, her hoof just barely between Vivid's legs. "Did I hurt you?" "No! No... No, no, of course not... I just..." Vivid panted, shivering a little. "I don't know how to do this." "How... My dear, you need not do anything, but to enjoy my attention. I... have not had an opportunity to please another pony in a very long time." "How long?" Vivid asked, stalling a little because of her nervousness. "Five hundred years," Luna whispered, suddenly timid sounding, her hooves gentler on Vivid's skin. After a moment, Vivid pulled Luna's hoof closer again, pressing it against her. "You're not alone right now," Vivid whispered. "No... I suppose I am not," Luna agreed as she pressed in a little, Vivid breathing more quickly as her cheeks felt hot. "How lucky I am to have finally found a pony to share some time with." "You could... have any mare you desire..." Vivid murmured against Luna's arm. "No, no indeed I could not. See, as a princess I must be better, I must be careful in all things. I cannot love a pony who would not love me in return. I may not love a pony who would feel they must love me due to my status. But I may love a pony... Who loves me in return, and... Who would not bow to me for being who I am. I may love thee, Vivid Colour." Vivid nearly fell flat on her face as a wave of pleasure rolled through her, and she went mostly limp. But Luna held her close. "They might hear." Luna's chuckle, soft warm breath rolling over Vivid's ear, belied that her princess was not going to stop just because a few of her subordinates might be able to hear them. She in fact pulled Vivid closer, until Vivid could feel Luna's heartbeat on her back. "If they do, I will certainly command them to say nothing," Luna whispered, before gently biting Vivid's ear and making her gasp, twitching against Luna's grip. "They would never disobey an order. Unlike you, my little spirit of independence." "I am... Not little, and far from a spirit," Vivid said with an attempt at a frown, but she couldn't stay cross at Luna's gleeful smile that showed as though draped in silk netting, Vivid's magic showing her each curve and the glow of magic behind Luna's eyes. "Of course not. You are a princess, certainly, due the care of a royal," Luna said with solemnity and a gracious nod. Vivid tried not to let her arousal show, and the deep blush across her cheeks, but her forelegs were trembling as Luna pulled her up off them, and then all of a sudden they were flying. The ground pulled away from them, and Vivid felt like she was on her back, laying on top of Luna. "What..." "Relax," Luna said in a near whisper. "Be calm. The sky is my domain, and despite the light of the sun... You can see beyond what others see." Then, as Luna's magic spread out above them, the stars came out to Vivid's sight, despite the moon being so far away. They flew, drifted through the stars, as Luna held Vivid close, clinging to her like a piece of driftwood in a vast ocean. "Vivid Colour... Please do not be afraid of loving me in return. For I know not what I would do, if the one I loved could not love me." Vivid turned, careful not to fall off of Luna, and she looked into the alicorn's eyes. It was odd to see them so vulnerable, to see the shimmer of tears at their corners, blurring Vivid's magic. Vivid wondered if a goddess could be broken by a single word. A dark corner of her heart had the urge to find out. But that dark corner never gained any power in Vivid's heart that day. "Luna... I have been afraid because I know, without any doubt, that I am not worthy of your love. But if you insist it upon me, if you cannot find some better mare to covet... I would be thrilled to be even but a mare passing in the day, gracing your bed for blissful moments." "You could never be so simple," Luna whispered as those tears were stripped from her eyes by the wind. "So mundane. I've watched you, Vivid. From afar, wondering if I would ever have the chance to tell you this. I saved your ship at sea, and I hoped every day since that you would find your way to me." Vivid had thought that it was a dream. In a way, it was. It began in her sleep. A flash of color in the darkness. A feeling of a presence being nearby. Flickers of magic pressure in strange triangles and swooping motion among the swinging of the waves rocking her boat. She decided she must be having a nightmare, though she couldn't imagine what would be worse than being lost at sea as a sentence for murder. "Hello?" A young filly's voice called out. She jolted upright, an unsettling feeling of bobbing and weightlessness coming over her. "Who is there?" Vivid called out. "Uh... Lily Blossom. Who are you?" Vivid hesitated before laying back down on the rough wood of her little boat. She couldn't remember meeting a Lily Blossom, but she'd created other ponies in her dreams before. She must be really lonely to make up a child to talk to. "Vivid Colour. How did you get here?" "Um... where are we? I can't see." Now that was weird. She'd never made another pony blind in her dreams. But she liked the idea. It felt less like the filly was at an advantage. "Well... I was put out to sea on a boat, to die, because I hurt some other ponies." There was silence, then the sound of splashing, and then the boat rocked as something climbed aboard. Then a somewhat damp filly curled up against Vivid's side. "Where did you come from?" Vivid asked, frowning a little. "The sea. Duh." Vivid chuckled, going limp again as the boat rocked. "Why did you hurt other ponies?" the filly asked. Vivid didn't answer. But her mind played the emotions of the moment. The panic, the feeling of hooves striking her side. The magic spreading out from her in jagged spears, and feeling hot blood steaming as it ran down the points of energy, and dipped onto her muzzle. The filly clung to her, and Vivid sighed before putting her forelegs around her. "Were you scared?" "Yes," Vivid whispered, trying to ignore the tears on her cheeks. "Why did they put you out on the ocean though?" The filly asked, squirming as she tried to get comfortable. Vivid was tempted to move away so the filly could find a comfortable spot without disturbing her, but she remained where she was, maybe out of some small kindness, maybe out of a sheer lack of motivation to move. "If an adult pony does something bad in the isles of Bitain, and the other ponies don't want them there anymore, they are taken out and put on a small boat. That way, no one else has to watch them suffer... or die. It happens far away." The dream faded abruptly, and Vivid drifted in and out of awareness as the boat rocked in the wind. But then she thought for a moment she could hear wings. Distant. She sat up, but she couldn't figure out if the sound had been real. She fell back asleep, and when she woke up she had found herself on the shores of southern Equestria. Saved, not by chance, but by intervention of the princess that had visited her dream. "I am not afraid," Vivid lied. "I simply have a bit of anxiety regarding how others may perceive us..." "Would you rather not be a royal consort, official and public?" Luna asked as a cluster of stars drifted past, like diamonds packed full of magic, so powerful and close that she barely even needed her light spell to perceive them. "I am not a public mare..." Vivid said, not quite answering the question. "So we will keep our relationship secret," Luna proposed, sounding untroubled. "So that you are not bothered by the public or the royals. Would this be acceptable?" Vivid turned so that she was laying stomach to stomach with Luna, and closed her eyes to rest her head just under Luna's chin. "If you told me that we would be known by all... I would still love you, despite my pain and fear." Luna held her a bit tighter before they began to fall, weightless. Vivid's stomach turned and she had to struggle not to lose her dinner, before she was slowly pressed back against Luna, and then carried down to the ground. "You do not enjoy freefall?" Luna asked with only a little surprise. "I'm not winged, so no," Vivid replied sarcastically. "Give me wings, and perhaps I will enjoy it as much as you." Luna laughed and carefully set Vivid down, before carefully kissing her cheek. "A moment." Luna walked back into the camp with Vivid trailing slightly behind. Luna then made a gesture with one hoof that seemed to indicate a need for the attention of the guards and soldiers. They all stopped and looked to her, ready to follow her orders, while Vivid hid in the shadows. "Some of you have rightfully questioned some of my actions of late. Trying to understand why I would assign you certain posts, or give you certain missions. It is entirely within your rights to want to understand my actions, and now I can tell you why. Vivid Colour is to be my Consort. This is a separate matter from her appointment as Court mage, and as she is not accustomed to the public nature of such a relationship, we will be keeping this within the bounds of the court, is this understood?" The guards all nodded firmly, without hesitation. But some of the soldiers looked uncomfortable, surprised by the situation. "Well that was stiff and awkward," Vivid mumbled as she and Luna returned to the little clearing with the runic symbol. "Despite my best efforts in improving the view Equestria takes on lesbians and Gelds, they are slow to change. I expect that in the next century we will remain quite the scandal," Luna pondered as Vivid sat down and settled into her confused expression. Luna paid no mind as she sat behind her and resumed their cuddle. "What is a lesbian? Or a Geld for that matter?" Vivid asked, blushing as Luna wrapped herself around the smaller pony. Luna chuckled. "Poor Vivid, uninitiated into her own culture. Sapphos, a pioneer of our kind, came from the island of Lesbos. Thus, we call ourselves Lesbians. Geld... well, recently a few homosexual stallions I know have been using the word Geld to refer to themselves, to get back at those who use the word to insult them, comparing them to the distant past where aggressive males were neutered." "They call themselves such a horrible thing?!" Vivid asked, aghast. "The horror of a word is in it's use, not the definition," Luna cautioned as she kissed the top of Vivid's head. "They have found strength in using the word their abusers once used. We cannot tell them not to, as it is their choice. We can only decide our own identities." "If you say so, Princess," Vivid mumbled, nuzzling her lover's soft neck, enjoying her warmth and releasing her concern about the issue as a whole. "Are you afraid?" Luna asked after a short pause. Vivid didn't reply, her eyes still closed, her perception spell fading out as she tried to keep her breathing slow. "Vivid, are you afraid of this? Of me, of being with me?" Vivid chuckled, softly and with a bit of a sad smile. "I... Am terrified. Do you know how I was raised to see you?" There was more silence, before Luna pulled her a little tighter. "No... I don't." "In Bitain, you are known as the dark sister. The alicorn of secrets and pain. The alicorn of scheming and lies... It was not a pretty picture. When I came here, I thought you were going to torture me, or sentence me to death. But that's not why I'm terrified. I am terrified because... The last thing I loved, I killed. I killed her. After that, I don't know if I am capable of love." She could feel the cool of tears tracking down her cheeks. "Why do you not think you could love?" Luna asked as she brushed Vivid's mane back, running her hoof down her neck. "I do not feel it. I feel only emptiness. Though pleasure may come in moments of passion, as I've found, there is nothing but physical comfort at other times. Once we are apart, by myself there is nothing but coldness and pain in my heart. A distance from my emotions. I work, I do what I must, but there is no joy in me. No great warmth of love except for when you are holding me, or when we are in a passionate embrace. I cannot love." Luna sighed but did not release her, still keeping her close. "Love is not a feeling, my dear." Vivid jerked away, glaring up at Luna as though she'd told her that they were nothing to eachother. But Luna shook her head and pulled her close again. "Love is not a feeling, it is an act. Warmth, joy, passion, contentment, those are feelings. But to love? To love is to entwine your life with another. To love is to grow better together, to find a new height of life in conjoined life. That is love. To sacrifice or give for another, is a form of love, and love can be so many other things. It can even be the combination of feelings we experience. But for as long as you expect to feel forever full of light and joy because you are loved, then you will feel your love fading away, even though it is still there. Emotions are fleeting. Love... Love is a state of life." "I do not care for that answer, your Highness," Vivid said angrily as she tried to pull away again, reactivating her perception spell as she began to walk away. "You cannot ignore that which you disagree with, and embrace only that which you already know! Not only is it the surest way to become blind to progress, but it is the finest tool to delude onesself into believing only the darkest inner voices!" Luna called after her. Vivid stopped, and as she growled she turned back around to face Luna. "Blind?" she hissed. Luna paused, uncertain how badly she had misstepped. "I meant it metaphorically, Vivid. I did not--" Luna had only a split second to erect a shield before a magical bolt splashed off of it in a small explosion. "Blind?! You call me blind? I see more than you! I see the truth of the world, in which you are a lie and your sister, banished forever, is the holy light lost from this world! You are a dark temptress that is a rot upon all around you! You are not worthy of the title of princess, nor of my love!" Before a second bolt could be let loose towards the alicorn, three of the royal guards slammed into Vivid, tackling her to the ground and messing her aim up. But just as quickly as they had met her challenge, they were backing away, Luna's magic pulling them off her. "Stop, stop it. Vivid poses me no true danger, and this is a personal matter. Between lovers." Vivid got back up and scowled around at the guards as they slowly returned to the camp. Leaving the two alone. Luna tried to approach slowly, concern resonating in her words. "Vivid... I did not intend to hurt you." Vivid could feel her hard practiced exterior failing. Her years of practice in preventing her true emotions and weaknesses from showing, all starting to buckle under her desire to fling herself back into Luna's embrace. But her pride was stronger. She began charging her horn with magic, crackling and popping with unstable connections that she had never tried before. Luna's eyes went wide as she spotted the shape of her personal transportation spell, which could take Vivid nearly anywhere. "Vivid, don't run--" With a roar of magic, and arcs of energy scorching the ground around her, Vivid vanished before a clap of thunder rang out from the spot she'd vacated, leaving Luna alone in the dark.