Shang Tsung levitated back to his chair. "Our first kombatant will be Mr. Cage!"
Hearing his name, the Hollywood actor walked up. "That's right! That's right! Who's it gonna be?"
Pinkie jumped up. "Hokey Smoke. How 'bout... Queen Meanie? No. Black Snooty! Black Snooty!" She was interrupted when Shang Tsung shot a fireball at her.
"Reptile!" Shang Tsung announced. Reptile turned visible, and leaped onto the ground.
"Nice stunt!" Johnny Cage complimented. "Who's your agent?"
Queen Chrysalis was serving popcorn to the spectators and Shang Tsung, who announced "Begin!"
"All right! It's showtime!" Johnny said as the first match has begun. Johnny hit Reptile with green goo balls. After the fight was over, Johnny looked at his defeated opponent. "He got CAGED! That's it! Ha, haa! Oh yeah! I'm SO pretty." He walked up to the other kombatans, including Chameleon, Applejack, a stuntman, Trixie, and Sonya Blade, pointing to them. "And I'm taking you down, I'm taking you down, I'm taking you out, I'm taking you out, and I'm taking you out... for dinner."
"Ugh!" Sonya said in disgust.
Shang was unimpressed. "Now for your second challenge Mr Cage: Baraka!" The beast jumped onto the arena floor.
Johnny was stunned to see Baraka. "Mmm, okay... nice makeup, but is it REALLY necessary?"
Applejack looked scared. "I don't think it's makeup..." she said to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy said to Applejack, "Me, neither."
Right on cue, the Outworld Wolverine popped his blades out. Rarity let out a high pitched scream.
"WOAH!" Johnny Cage was surprised.
"They will taste your flesh!" Baraka said.
Johnny kicked Baraka in the face multiple times, and even punched him in the balls. Baraka shot some sparks at Johnny, who didn't even get a scratch. Then Johnny uppercut the Tarkatan, as he was defeated.
"Man, I love those blades! My producer has got to meet you! We're doing 'Tommy Scissorfists', and-- "
"Congratulations, Mr. Cage." Shang Tsung said. "Now FINISH HIM!"
"Finish him? Yeah, right!" The actor said.
"KILL HIM!" The sorcerer demanded.
Johnny looked over at Cyrax and Sub-Zero, Scorpion and Quan Chi, and even the Mane Seven and Spike. Pinkie Pie was excited to see Johnny kill Baraka. "Woah. Woah, woah, wait a sec! I'm not gonna kill anyone!" Hearing this, Pinkie's smile turned into a frown.
"Very well." Shang Tsung stood up. "The tournament will resume at dawn!"
Everyone started to leave, except for Johnny who said "What, that's it? Really?" Johnny put his hands together. "Now where'd that hottie go?" Johnny turned around to find Sonya, but was cut off by Raiden and Liu Kang.
"You have fought well." Raiden said honestly to the actor.
"Thanks." Johnny replied. "Nice hat, by the way."
Liu glared at Johnny. "You should be more respectful of Lord Raiden. He is the protector of Earthrealm, the god of thunder, the--" he said, but was cut off by Pinkie Pie who suddenly popped up right next to him.
"Wait a minute! You CAN'T be the god of thunder!" Pinkie said.
Raiden looked at Pinkie. "Why not?" There were three seconds of silence. "It's Thor, isn't it?"
"Look, I don't know what role-playing you guys are into, but count me out." The Shaolin warrior tried to prevent Johnny from leaving.
"This tournament is more than a chance for personal glory. We are fighting for the very survival of Earthrealm." Liu said.
Johnny was confused. "What are you talking about?"
Raiden said, "Your last opponent was Tarkatan; he was born with those blades."
"Yeah. Those things are real." Johnny said.
"He represents Outworld." Raiden said as two guards took him away. "Had you lost, the emperor Shao Kahn would have come one step closer into physically absorbing our world into his."
"Outworld, yeah right, right..."
"The Elder Gods created the Mortal Kombat tournament to give Earthrealm a chance to defend itself."
"In order for Outworld to conquer a realm, you have to win 10 consecutive tournaments against that realm. This tournament happens once every 500 years. Earthrealm has lost 9 tournaments in a row. If we lose this tournament, Shao Kahn will conquer Earthrealm!" Pinkie said.
Liu Kang was angry. "Thanks for spoiling the whole thing, Pinkie!"
Johnny Cage gave a big "Dun Dun Dunnnn!" with Rainbow Dash. "Look, guys, I'm an ACTOR. I save the world for the cameras. If this emperor thing is really a threat, call the military. Me? I got a date with a blonde. Chao!" Giving Raiden a pat on the shoulder Johnny left the arena.
"What do you see in him?" Liu wondered.
Raiden looked at Johnny. "He is a hero, Lui Kang, though he may not yet know it."
Meanwhile, somewhere else on the island, Sonya had a walkie-talkie in her hand trying to get a signal.
"triangulating your signal for evac, but... there is no island..."
"I'm standing on it! Just lock on to my wrist com!" Sonya said to the man.
"Understood. What's your current status?" Johnny managed to find her and walk up to her.
"They have Jax. And if I don't fight in this crazy tournament, they'll kill him. I'm gonna try to talk to these ponies. Hopefully they can--"
"Need help?" Johnny interrupted. "I specialize in rescuing damsels in distress."
"You again." Sonya said trying to sound nice. "Listen. I got serious problems here. I'm in no mood to be hit on by some movie star."
"Come on, a girl like you shouldn't be wandering around in this freak show alone." Sonya just walked away, but Johnny grabbed her by the arm. "Look, baby. I can't let you run loose without an escort." Sonya shoved his arm away, punching him in the guts, and landed an uppercut on the actor's jaw.
"I don't need an 'escort'. And I'm sure as hell not your 'baby'!" Johnny put up a good fight, and finished her off with a Shadow Kick.
"Ha haaa! not bad for a... girl. Look, sorry about that." He reached out a hand for her, but Sonya slapped it away.
"I don't need your help."
"Fine. Have it your way. I'll just leave you to your... problems."
"Good idea!" Kano threw Johnny off the edge of the bridge. The actor yelled, and he disappeared like that. "Now that he softened you up, it's my turn!"
"Not man enough for a fair fight?" Sonya asked.
"I don't do 'fair'." Kano stated, starting to hit Sonya with his laser eye. "No need to get up, love." From below, Johnny still hangs on. "So tell me..." Kano continues, "how are things at Command?"
"Bastard!" Sonya groaned. Johnny started to slowly get back up, but eventually, his hand couldn't hold on much longer and he fell off, but luckily he was caught by Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.
"Gullible bitch. Just had to point you in the wrong direction. Couldn'ta done it without ya!" When he was getting tired of using his lasers at Sonya, she glared up at him and said,
"S-F is on the way. You won't get far."
"Oh, I got a knack for survival." Kano remarked. "You, on the other hand, are gonna die here. I mean, it's not like two ponies are gonna catch that guy and bring him back up." Right on cue, Rainbow Dash and Twilight put Johnny back on the platform before flying off.
"Step away from the lady!" Johnny demanded. "Fans think my moves and wire work are special effects. Truth is... I am the special effects." After another fight, Johnny finally beat Kano. "Throw that on your... barby... Shrimp."
"Thanks." Sonya said.
"No problem. Who is that guy anyway?" Sonya pulled her hand up, and Johnny helped her get up.
"His name's Kano. he was an informant in our Black Dragon investigation. Big-time arms dealers. Turns out he was their leader, giving us the runaround. A lot of our guys got killed because of him."
"So that's not a costume? You're actual military?"
"Special Forces."
"Get out! So you know about this 'threat to the world' stuff right? Raiden called in the cavalry."
"Raiden?" Sonya said in confusion. "No idea who you're talking about."
"He's the other Thor in the straw hat."
Sonya was about to walk towards the exit, but notice that Kano has escaped. "Damn. He got away."
"He can't be far."
"He'll have to wait. I appreciate your help, Cage..."
"Johnny."
"... but right now I've got things to take care of. My C.O. is locked up on this island somewhere. I have to find him." Sonya went to find Jax, and Johnny smiled at her.