Throw-Ups and Meltdowns
Don woke up and looked over at his clock, it read “6:02”.
“No, I don’t wanna go to school…the team sucks and the bathrooms smell like pee…” he mentally complained.
He fought with himself for a brief moment before his sense of responsibility overcame his will to stay in bed and carefully got up. He walked into his bathroom and turned on the light.
He stared into the mirror noting his reflection,
“Man, look at you, you’re falling apart in your twenties.”
He moved closer to the mirror and continued his self-examination. His hair was somewhat grown out but still short and black, he was about to move on with the morning when he noticed something,
“What the…is that…?”
He reached and gave a quick yank on single strand of hair and held it up.
“Oh no, I’m already getting grey hairs. Great, at this rate, I’ll be complaining about the temperature of my soup and where my pills are by the time I’m thirty.”
“And yelling at kids to get off your lawn.”
“Right, that too.”
He ran a hand over his face,
“Seriously though, I’m wearing down, my normally brown skin is…well, it hasn’t changed much, but my eyes, they look and feel tired, not to mention the dark brown in my iris makes them look…dead. Maybe I need to cut back on classes next semester and lighten up a bit.”
“Maybe study abroad…”
He shook his head and slapped his face with both hands,
“Alright, time to get ready for school.”
-
“So, are you ready for your first day of becoming the best history student?” Derpy asked from the passenger seat.
“What? You mean we’re actually going through with this?” He asked, making a quick glance at her.
“Of course we are,” she replied, “I said I would help you and I will.”
“Couldn’t we leave my study habits out of this, and I graduate with mediocre grades and get a job I hate, and then I die a poor, stressed out man, with no legacy or mark on the world?”
She frowned at Don’s sudden mini rant and took flight to land on his steering wheel,
“Care to run that by me again?” she said, her voice slightly threatening.
“Uh, I said, I’m totally psyched about it, and that I can’t wait!” He said rather nervously.
“Glad to hear it!” She said returning to her normal self while smiling.
“Donovan Lacson, you almost got killed by a three-inch-tall pegasus, how do you feel?”
“It feels terrifying Bob. My life flashed before my eyes, got a few instant replays, almost soiled myself, it really moved me Bob.”
-
The two were walking towards the Union when Don her a voice behind him,
“Hey man, guess what?”
Don stopped and began to turn around,
“Whoever is listening out there in the divines, please stop the world so I can get off.”
“Lewis, what are you doing here this early, and how’d you know I was over here…? For that matter, how’d you know I even parked in this direction?” Don asked slightly confused.
“Oh, I know a guy, anyways, I just wanted to tell you there’s free breakfast nomables* over at the IT building.” Lewis said, completely disregarding Don.
“Free breakfast? Why are they doing that?” Don asked.
“Something about getting to know the people behind the network or something, I dunno, but who’s gonna argue with free food?”
Derpy tugged on the sleeve of Don’s shirt,
“Ask him what they have.” She said.
“So… what are they giving out over there?” He asked.
“Oh, you know, just some basic stuff for light eaters like apples, bananas, fruit juice, cereal bars, pre-packed muffins.”
Derpy’s ears perked up and began pushing Don,
“No more talking, more walking!” she said.
“Son of a-, listen, I gotta go, can’t let that food disappear on me and all that jazz. I’ll catch you later.”
-
“C’mon, hurry!” Derpy yelled, “Or else they’ll run out!”
“I highly doubt they’re gonna run out” Don said.
She turned around and gave him a look that suggested that he was crazy.
“Are you kidding me? Who can resist the call of a muffin?”
He raised an eyebrow, “Obviously, not you.”
They continued to walk till they saw a table with a couple of people standing around it. There was a sign that read “Free snacks and meet your IT people all this week!” He made his way to where the snacks were and lo and behold, assorted muffins were among the many options.
“Hey, I’ll take that muffin right there.” Don said while pointing.
“Sure thing, but first you gotta take this survey.” An attendant said while handing him a paper.
“I knew there was a catch…”
“Hurry and write! That muffin is calling to me!” Derpy yelled.
He wrote a half-hearted and generic response on how the network was great and to keep up the good work. He may have just lied through his teeth, but to be honest, he didn’t think anyone really cared about the network. Most of the time he heard everyone, including faculty, do nothing but complain about it. The very thought only solidified the idea that everyone here was here for the snacks.
Putting those thoughts aside, he handed the survey back and grabbed a muffin and shoved it into one of the pockets of his pants. Derpy quickly flew down and inside his pocket where she began to tear at the plastic that imprisoned her prize.
He shuffled uneasily as he felt the movements and was about to turn and leave before a voice called out to him,
“Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?”
Don turned his gaze and was met with another person he didn’t recognize.
“No, I don’t think so…” Don replied, raising his eyebrow again.
“Hold on, let me try and remember…” they said as they thought for a moment. There was a slight pause before he snapped his fingers.
“That’s it, you’re the guy that did the Pinkie Promise in the bathroom!”
Don felt his blood run cold, “Uh, what?” he managed to stutter out.
“Yeah, I remember you now, who were you talking to by the way, I noticed that you had a blue-tooth on; so, who was on the phone with you, I mean, it’s not every day someone has to do a pinkie promise, let alone in the bathroom.”
Don was taken back a bit,
“How the hell does he even remem- why does he even wanna know? How nosey is this guy?”
He thought for a moment trying to come up with an excuse of some sort.
“Oh, I uh, was just talking to one of my friends, and she made me promise to…go to the…museum.” He finished lamely.
The helper raised an eyebrow.
“Museum? You mean the Museum of Art in town?” he asked.
“Uh, yeah, totally.” Don said quickly.
There was a brief pause before the other guy had a smug look on his face,
“So, taking a lady friend, nice man, how fortunate for you to go out with a girl who likes the show.” He said nodding in approval.
Don was visibly confused, “What? No I-“
“Relax man, it’s alright, I understand, I mean, here I am, a stranger asking you about your personal life and stuff, sorry to step out of bounds like that. Anyways, my name’s Gerard, but you can call me Jerry for short.” He said extending his hand.
“Donovan. You can uh, call me Don for short.” Don said reciprocating the handshake
There was a small moment of awkward silence.
“So, you work here at the IT Building huh?” Don asked trying to make conversation.
“Yeah, that I do,” said Jerry, “Actually, I work with the servers. Make sure they run smoothly and keep them maintained. That sort of thing.”
“Sounds like you’ve got your hands full most of the time.” Don said.
“Not as much as you think, though, it does get hectic every now and then. Not only do we upkeep the servers and network, we also handle troubleshooting and whatever other technical problems staff and students would have.”
“I dunno, still sounds rather busy to me.”
There was a brief silence before Jerry spoke again.
“So, do you want to see the servers?” He asked.
“Is that even allowed?”
“Yeah, its fine,” Jerry reassured, “It’s not like you can do anything anyways, you seem harmless enough.”
“Famous last words.”
-
Don followed Jerry into he building and through some halls before coming to an elevator. The two stepped inside where the tech hit a button labeled “B1”. There was a brief shift in gravity and they descended before finally coming to stop and a “ding” before the doors slid open.
“Well, this is it, the entire brain of the school network.” Jerry said.
Before the two, were large shelf like towers with hundreds of wires neatly bundled together and lots of flickering lights. Don also noticed that while the room was at a comfortable temperature, there was a noticeable amount of heat coursing through the room as well.
“Odd, I expected something more…spectacular.” Don said
“What were you expecting, an AI to greet you? Though, that’d be really cool though.”
The two continued to walk in between server towers as Jerry explained the inner workings and technicalities; not that Don understood any of it, but he did what he would normally do in any given situation, just smile, nod, and hope they don’t find out you don’t know beans about what they’re talking about.
-
At this time Derpy finally poked her head out of Don’s pocket, covered in crumbs of what used to be a muffin. She looked around and noticed they were inside, but, looking at what appeared to be several bookshelves with wires coming out of them. Deciding enough was enough, she flew up and landed herself in her usual spot.
“Where are we, Don?” She asked.
“School server room.” Don quietly replied.
“Did you say something?” Jerry asked.
“No, no, just musing to myself about all this, go on.”
The tour lasted for a few more minutes before they returned to the ground floor.
“Well, that was interesting, thanks for giving me a tour of the place.” Don said.
“No problem, it was my pleasure, but between you and me, I have a feeling not a lot of people like the network we have going.” Jerry said.
“What? No, who says stuff like that?” Don said trying to hide the obvious.
“You’re kidding right..? C’mon, everybody talks about it. It’s like a secret to everyone.” Jerry said.
“Well-“ Don stopped trying to find words, he was trying to think of something to say before he noticed Derpy on his shoulder absolutely covered in crumbs.
“Uh, do you have a restroom I could use?” He asked.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, just go down this hall and it’s gonna be on the right.” Jerry replied slightly confused at the sudden question.
“Thanks!” was all Don said as he walked off in the direction he was pointed.
-
As Don walked down the halls, he hated to admit it, but he was lost.
“Okay, he said follow this hall and it should be on the right… you think I would’ve seen a sign by now.” he said to himself.
Before long, he finally found a sign and headed inside. He clicked on the lights and noticed something off about the bathroom. While it was properly lit, it seemed like nobody had used this particular restroom for a long time.
“So, why’d we come in here?” Derpy asked.
“Because look at you, you’re covered in crumbs.” Don said presenting her to the mirror.
She took one look and lo and behold, it was true to what Don was saying. She was covered head to hoof in crumbs. She quickly rectified that situation by shaking herself off.
“Could you not?” he asked while shielding himself from flying derbris.
“Better?” She asked turning around and looking at Don.
“Sort of? You’ve still got…” he trailed off and began picking bits and pieces off of her with his index finger and thumb.
He looked at the somewhat ancient towel dispenser and noticed that there was a fine layer of dust on it. Just how long had this place been unused? He quickly dismissed the thought and grabbed one before dousing it with water. He also noted a groan coming from the pipes when he turned the faucet on, hopefully that was nothing to be worried about.
“Here, wipe yourself down, I wouldn’t doubt that you’re in some way of sticky from the muffin.” He said.
Derpy ripped off a piece and gave he face a quick wipe down as well as her legs and forelegs. She was definitely going to need a bath when she got home.
“I think that’s about as good as it’s gonna get for now.” He said.
“Probably. Thanks for the help.” She replied.
The two left without another word after turning off the lights. Unbeknown to them however, the groaning of the pipes from earlier was the straw that broke the camels back on them and the old copper pipes gave out, unleashing torrents of water within the walls.
While this was a major problem in of itself, this particular bathroom stood right above where the servers were, and the leaking water would find its way down and completely drenching and destroying the underground system.
-
The two continued down the path heading to where Don’s classes were to take place for the day. He reached into his pocket and was greeted with even more crumbs and the plastic wrapper of the once intact muffin.
“What the-what did you do in there?” He asked bringing out his hand and wiping it off.
“I was really hungry, and that muffin hit the spot.” She said.
He sighed and found a bench where he cleaned out his pocket the best he could before looking at his phone for the time.
“Still got half an hour…” he mumbled to himself. “So, you said you’re full right?”
“I couldn’t eat another bite.” She replied, rubbing her stomach.
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
“Okay, that means I get to eat now.” He said as he brought out another muffin from his other pocket.
Derpy gasped and looked longingly at the new pastry he brought forth. He quickly noticed the look she was giving and pulled away.
“Oh no, you said you were full.”
“But…but…”
“I think you’ve had enough”
“Could you…just… tell me what kind it is…?” She pleaded.
He sighed and looked at the package.
“It says,” he paused, “Banana nut-“
He was interrupted as the muffin flew out of his hands.
“Derpy, I don’t think you should eat that.” He warned.
“No, Banana nut muffin.” She said using her body as a shield from Don.
-
Derpy groaned and held her stomach.
“I tried to warn you…” Don said while shaking his head. “And now you’ve got a stomach ache. C’mon, I think I know something that’ll help with that.”
He walked over to the little convenience store inside the Union and began to browse around the drinks before coming upon what he was looking for. After purchasing it, he walked back and sat down again.
“Here, drink this.” He said while pouring a small amount into the bottle cap.
“What is it?” She asked.
“Ginger ale. I heard somewhere that it helps soothe an aching stomach.” He said.
After she drank it down she sat there motionless.
“So, how do you feel?” He asked.
“Not much better…” she groaned.
“Well, just give it time and-“
He was interrupted by Derpy making a hiccup noise and covering her mouth with a hoof.
“Uh, does that mean it’s working?” He asked.
“I think…” she began before her eyes went wide, “That I’m gonna be sick!” she finished before holding her hoof to mouth again.
“Okay, okay, don’t panic, and I can find a place to-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He nearly yelled as Derpy flew into one of his pockets.
The next thing he heard was her retching and heaving as she emptied her stomach contents in his pockets.
“Donovan Lacson…you just had a three-inch-tall pegasus throw up in your pocket…how…how does that make you feel?”
“It feels terrible Bob. Warm, wet, and terrible. Word’s cant even begin to describe my feelings right now.”
Derpy crawled out of his pocket seemingly better.
“Um, do you have anything to eat on you? I’m feeling a bit hungry again…”
“I hate my life…”