"Now, Spike."
Spike knelt before his mistress.
Twilight withdrew her horn, Freakslayer, from a dimension where all screamed for naught.
Twilight swung her horn at Flutterfireshark in an attempt to save Pinkiie Pie. This moderately worked. Flutterfireshark now has the power of ice, making her Fluttericefireshark. Pinkie emerged unscathed from the new abomination, and offered Twilight a cupcake. Twilight took the cupcake.
"This cupcake tastes.." was all she managed to get out before the drugs kicked in.
Twilight woke up chained to a wall with chains too strong to be removed with her magic. Pinkie, in her "Psycho Pie" outfit, started slowly walking towards her. The TARDIS popped up in between the two, and opened to reveal John Madden dressed up as Micheal Bolton dressed up as Tony Montana, who then gunned down Pinkie while singing something about pirates as he turned into Cthulu, who then fought Doctor Whooves, Derpzilla, Turtle Buu Jackcolt, Trixie, Sodalegs Spike, and Fluttericefireshark for the RETARDIS.
Twilight felt a strong magic free her from her chains. It was Celestia, entombed in her cursed deodorant armor, helping Twilight from her Sunbase which wasn't on the sun.
Twilight channeled her rage through Freakslayer. The angel blood boiled as she summoned the great Fluttericefireshark, swathed with the cutie marks of the tiny freaklings from Ponyville, leapt onto it, and flew into space. She encased the creature in a wreath of holy freakfire, making every flank in the galaxy explode, and inside every flank a bunny danced the Macarena.
Twilight then flew Fluttericefreakfireshark through space, punching astral griffons in thirds with her tail and throwing their golden claws into the RETARDIS, turning Psycho Pie into a zombie who then proceeded to terrorize the Cafeteria of JUSTICE-FLAVORED SOCKS!
Scootaloo then went to sleep. But, her dreams were infected by paracrabs, which has the effect of making her dreams a full-on acid trip. Let's take a journey into the dreamscape now...
Pinkie Pie ate a cupcake and burped bagpipes, then suddenly Applebloom came out of the bagpipes, ate Pinkie Pie and turned into a radiator. The radiator exploded into OVER 9000 coat hangers, which then fell down on Equestria. Fluttericefreakfireshark ate a Turtwig, giving her the power of Solar Beam. [1]
Applejack looked around her. There was nothing to see. "You have your eyes closed again." Twilight warned. "Oh!" Applejack exclaimed, opening her eyes just in time to see Spike swallow the sun whole, revealing a second moon that was hiding behind it.
Spike started choking. No one helped. A pirate pony appeared, yawned, and the disappered, making their appearance rather pointless. yodelled at no one in particular, from a falling star.
Spike paused from his choking to sneeze, but carried on again afterward. No one helped. [2]
Fluttericefreakfire-starsolarbeamshark stared across the frozen tundra, watching a giant frozen banana, with a mouth, devour Rainbow Dash. Instead of blood, rainbows poured out (yes, rainbows). Suddenly, Twilight Sparkle fell from the sky, and shouted to no one: "He's coming! HE'S COMING!" Her hooves were in the air, and just stared at the giant banana, who had moved onto eating a city now. Twilight Sparkle, seeing that no one cared, walked away.
Twilight Sparkle walked to the city, while it was still being eaten. She spoke to all ponies, and made a speech. "He's coming! He's coming!" was basically all she said, not caring they were being eaten by a giant banana. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a new pony appeared. Glowing, sparkling, he descended upon the sinners. It was Jesus Pony, and he said calmly: "And thy shall all melt due to my awesomeness." And they did. While hiccuping to death. And choking. While being eaten by a giant hippo. While said hippo was being eaten by a giant banana. [3]
Spike wented int a forest, then he heard some of teh growlz coming from the forest, he looked a round and finded the death bodies of Rarity being eated by Fluttericefreakfire-starsolarfreeezebeamshark. Spike screamed and suddenly a flashback happend. Psycho Pie stabed Rarity five hundred and seven time. SPike knew this and decided his revenge he exploded into SUPERMEGADESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE! and kicked in the nuts even thought shes a girl. .
Then he threw to the ground and screamed so loud it turned her main yellow.
"Not so fast SUPERMEGADESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE!" Psycho Pie screamed in space as she cut SUPERMEGADESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE!'s head with a chainsaw.
SUPERMEGADESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE! laughed as his head grew back twice and he punted both Psycho Pie and into space. His heads laughed and became excited that they could now talk to eachother. They got in a fight tore eachother apart, leading to both heads growing back twice, and in a form of mitosis split into four SUPERMEGADESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE!s who went on to terrorize Celestia with HOLY CRAP lazahs and fire balss of doom.
Suddenly Derpzilla arrive and chanlenged all 4 SUPERMEGADESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE!s to a duel. It destroys at least half of ponyville, including the library. Serves the damn books right with all there big words. The fight went on for twenty seven years.
On the twenty seventh day of the twenty seventh year, Fluttericefreakfire-starsolarfreeezebeamshark came back to Celestia as Fluttericefreakfire-starsolarfreeezeplasma-beamshark with Psycho Pie, who's tail was tied to a space stick. Fluttericefreakfire-starsolarplasmafreeeze-beamshark dove at the the 4 SUPERMEGADESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE!s and Derpzilla Waving arround her Psycho Pie Flail, who was laughing evilly the entire time. There was an explosion that destroyed the end of this the letter. Psycho Pie ended up the only one who wsn't hurt, s her nme doesn't hve the letter. Fluttericefrekfirestr-solrfreeezeplsm-bemshrk ws wekend nd SUPERMEGDESTRUCTOKILLSPIKE! ws turned bck into just plin Spike. Spike yelled s mny swers s he knew, which somehow restored the letter A.
Then Candlejack appeared and everyth [4]
Fluttericefreakfireshark tore the dreamscape open, making those dreams reality. Fluttericedreamfreakfire-starsolarplasmafreeeze-beamshark then ate Psycho Pie and Luna, making her Princess Flutterpsychoicedream-freakfire-starsolarplasmafreeze-beamshark, of the Fourth Wall, who's name (probably) won't get any longer this chapter, but will be repeated quite a few times in order to annoy the readers.
Princess Flutterpsychoicedream-freakfire-starsolarplasmafreeze-beamshark, of the Fourth Wall shot Fizzball cans into Celestia's heart, making her explode into The Fanfic Itself. The Fanfic Itself then died, and the resulting sauce made the greatest tacos in all of Generation 27. Stephen Magnate, with all of his awesomeness, tried to revive The Fanfic Itself and turn it into a classy, well-written, and artistic story. We can't have that, can we? The invisible Atuhor's Nose flicked him into space. Yes, , because this fic hasn't had enough references yet. Seeing a certain spherical object while in space, Trixie said "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I MUST STOP THIS MADNESS!" and exploded. Her hat landed on Stephen, which made him team up with Princess Flutterpsychoicedream-freakfire-starsolarplasmafreeze-beamshark, of the Fourth Wall to destroy Derpzilla, who was STILL fighting for the RETARDIS. But, they weren't fast enough. Cthulu, Turtle, Derpzilla, and Sodalegs Spike merged into Soderpthulubuu. Happily, the author isn't annoying enough to keep adding words to THAT name. So, he just added them to Princess Flutterpsychoicedream-freakfire-starsolarplasmafreeze-beamshark, of the Fourth Wall. PrincessFlutterpsychoicedream-freakfire-starsolarplasmafreeze-beamshark, of the Fourth Wall, who will TRULY stop getting new names in this chapter, but will in future chapters to be released sometime next month, turned Autocorrect on. Then, Doctor Whooves got his RETARDIS back, and getting tired of the long name being repeated over and over again, sent Princess Flutterpsychoicedream-freakfire-starsolarplasmafreeze-beamshark, of the Fourth Wall into a time machine, setting her back to Fluttericefreakfire-starsolarplasmafreeze-beamshark, and removing her from the rest of this chapter. Soderpthulubuu started smashing multiple fanfics into this one, letting Rainbow Sparkle take over the story.
"Hai guys! It wiz a feet day in ponivle web i an ed wit jam and got pregna cuz o a prosy. or e et yon al Abu it..."
The Fanfic Itself rose from the graze and Cupcakes'd Rainbow Sparkle. while collecting everypony in a potato cleaner and making them dance to the death.
Meanwhile, Psycho Pie and Luna were fighting to the death in a nearby solar system, Luna using cupcake darts, Psycho Pie throwing planets. Psycho Pie eventually threw Equestria itself at Luna, turning everypony's hooves into bagpipes.
Twilight screamed "Luna, if you don't stop, we'll lubricate, and no one will be around to fanfic everyone in the multiverse if we get around to bringing everypony back to life after we Cupcakes'd them."
"I am no longer Nightmare Moon."
The ancient pony dropped some of the darts she was throwing, which hit Rainbow Sparkle, reviving her, as the laws of everything are completely inverted for her.
"Ug dat flaming fangs isself Klee me. Anyway, Iz bac. I hz jet Arlen wins firm a Ned poni wen Jak crammed and we al cuht on firs. Ex-lax in a cav and I that Jak ded. Nh he dust. I Pete STD Iz forge bat the prophet Banjul bit in fly didn't. Den Clod Poof tld uz a shy it and Jak Meier e on Ira. I Ed so happy I sad "oh mi GONADS!" and marred Jackie. WTF? Dis AuroCorec is messing me destroy hop! Dis is anniversary! War elk cloy goo wot of?"
Then, Shark-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named-Anymore-This-Chapter broke the fanfic's rules to eat Rainbow Sparkle, stopping the outstanding grammar fails.
Luna flexed one of her wings, which was made of pie pistols, and flapped Ponyville in half.
"And what of it? Is it a sin, should a pony feel like firing upon a sun or a thousand? Why should the suns heave through the void, if not to be skewer's broken outnumber fragpoles?"
Yes, the fragpoles. Older than Celestia herself, the large electronic Arica were the last remnants of the "goo en" race. The author proceeded to turn off Autocorrect.
Twilight cast a glance at the moon. Unsavory pastas emanated from a particularly effeminate crater. It was hungry. She looked at a nearby comet. She thought about Big Mac.
Twilight's arm moved in a revolting motion, finally pointing at Luna.
"Luna is wearing designer liprings, and as such your argument is invalid!"
The crowd gasped as The Fanfic Itself slammed the desk using Spike, the annoying maildragon, as a gavel, who went through the desk until he arrived in hell. Nobody cared about him, as The Fanfic Itself's mane was now made of fire.
The Fanfic Itself was interrupted by Trixie, who punched her while her theme song played. The crowd cheered.
The Fanfic Itself began to bleed musicals.
Twilight and Trixie threw nitrogen at each other, mixed Flava Flav into it before it could enter the atmosphere, and punched the freak out of the atmosphere because they didn't like it. Sweetie Belle's head exploded.
Twilight and Trixie headflanked each other(my god that sounds wrong), while going through the planet Nova Scotia because that was it's weakness and that weakness caused the time and the universe to explode 42 times.
"Twilight, the Daleks kidnapped Luna!"
"What are you saying, Spike? I don't care about people who have vowels in their names."
Derpy Whooves then transcended universes to save Luna; the full story of which, again, would make a better fic than this crap.
"RAW!" Trixie screamed as she began to eat Twilight, but it was actually Twilight's shadow because she had studied under the snowboard assassins, who were great celery masters.
Derpy Whooves came back to this universe with Luna, Shark-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named-Anymore-This-Chapter, and muffin crossbows, as a ferris wheel of deformed pony corpses rolled through Ponyville.
Meanwhile, Octavia was playing the Their Large Brony: Rivalplane Isn't Machinery theme remix by Japanheal Pony on her Cello. Vinyl Scratch than mixed Octavia's track with one of Lyra's performances. There was no point of that paragraph other that random wordplay.
A Gary-Stu then appeared in Ponyville. He tried to hit on Applejack, who then bucked the Stu's teeth in. The Stu then exploded from not being perfect in every way. Psycho Pie turned the remains into cupcakes, as justice tastes better than ponies. This brought everypony she killed back to life, starting a zombie apocalypse.
And then Ponyville was a zombie.
Guest Writers:
1. MightypirateTM
2. Jeeno
3. Nintomster
4. Chrono Maxenstein 3D