//------------------------------//
// Secret Agent Mare 
// Story: What's a Gary? 
// by Reykan 
//------------------------------//

Apparently Twilight was now in on something that only high-ranking individuals knew about. This information, as well as the fact that the pony who had broken into Twilight's castle was related to this mess, left Dash conflicted. On the one hoof it was something straight out of a spy novel. On the other, she was left in the dark about what was going on.

Rainbow didn't like being left in the dark. Even if it was metaphorical.

'I'm hanging around the egghead too much again,' she lamented, looking towards the Everfree from one of the upper branches of the Crystal Castle. She'd spent most of her vacation trying to worm some information out of Twilight but the alicorn was unusually tight-lipped, even resisting casual and circuitous questioning. Twilight wouldn't even talk about the break in, just replying that it was a very confused pony who was being taken care of. The problem that brought with it was that meant a 'confused pony' with enough strength to both break open the castle door and shatter the door to the library was still out there and Rainbow had yet to give them a piece of her mind.

The pegasus scowled at the forest. It was out there, waiting for her. She knew it. She also knew that she could get in trouble for looking for the answer. Answers Twilight, Pinkie, and now Spike already had. She was a Wonderbolt now! What more did she need to do to be trusted with these things? What if something else happened? How could she protect her friends if she didn't have all the information? Hay, she didn't even know WHAT had attacked the Castle! She only had Twilight's word that it was a stallion who was lost and confused; a lost and confused stallion that had somehow shattered crystal that Applejack would be hard-pressed to crack.

Slamming a hoof down on the crystal branch, she snorted and took off for her house. She'd find this place herself if she had to. It was driving her crazy not knowing what else could happen while she was away. She couldn't risk her friends.




<-(0)->



The rainbow-maned pegasus kept low for the first hour of her pre-dawn flight. It was dangerous, maybe even suicidal to some to be flying so fast and so close to the Everfree, but she had to keep herself hidden. She'd already spotted her first landmark, a large hill that was just shy of a mountain that poked out above the Everfree's treeline. That let her spot a very tall tree that was easily three times the size of the surrounding vegetation, though the large birds in its branches weren't too happy with her presence. Then there was the lake she'd circled around, trusting the deep water in a monster-filled forest even less than the trees she was flying over.

She hadn't realized the forest was so deep. Needing a break, she'd landed just shy of what she'd first assumed was a clearing, having traveled at high speed for several hours by now. As she settled in to take a few mouthfuls of water and eat an energy bar, she found herself uneasy. The place was dead quiet. No, it wasn't even dead quiet. The place was just...dead. Nothing grew here, and from what she could see no animals strayed into this area either. Taking flight once more, she realized it wasn't a field. There was a gentle slope towards the center of the clearing...a crater, with a single stone structure standing in the center.

She approached cautiously, landing near it and walking closer as she recognized several different languages written on the surface. Draconic, Griffish, the scratches of Diamond dogs, and finally Equish. An older dialect of Equish, but it was equish none the less. The sort that Princess Luna slipped into every now and again.


Know that you stand before the grave of the Necromancer, Hate. Once beloved friend, last met as a maddened thing intent on destroying all life. It was he that brought about the Week of Madness. It was he that purged even the Everfree from the very soil you stand upon in the Nine Hundredth and fourty-sixth year of the Nightmare's defeat. And it was here that his madness was ended.
Goodbye, John. May you find the peace you could not have in two lives in a third.


The pegasus gulped. She'd read about Necromancers, but most were foal's story bad-guys who used skeletons as their soldiers. The last necromancer that she'd even read about in school was destroyed by the Princess centuries ago. To think one had been out here less than fifty years ago was both news to her and likely most of Equestria, and was a major red flag. There was more out here than she'd ever hoped to cover, and if this was in any way related to the confused pony, she wouldn't stand a chance if she was discovered by a pony that actually intended to do her harm.
'No more secrets, Twilight. This is big. Way too big. I need to know what we're facing. I'll just fly up and use that tree to...'

The mare had taken flight during her mental rant and began looking in every direction, unable to see the large tree anymore. In fact, she could see two smaller hills to the north that she swore weren't there before.

Turning around quickly, she saw another small set of hill behind her, almost mirrors of the ones to the...north?

'Duh, just use the sun, it's still early so it should be right...above me?'

Panic setting in, the pegasus looked around desperately for some sort of landmark to help her find her way back, even circling the crater twice, but the only thing that changed was one of the hills looking taller after her second pass which made no sense whatsoever. She landed in the crater once more, attempting to calm herself but she had no idea which way she needed to go. After all, she'd been flying at high speed for at least two hours before she stopped so if she-








"Mothership, this is Birdy Three," a changeling with a saddlebag casually announced into a crystal-encrusted bracelet on her foreleg. "Ask Books if she's missing a pegasus. And let the others know I've found our disturbance."

"Reading you, Birdy Three. You have an ID on the target?"

"Dash."

"...Roger, I'll get the boss on the line. Be careful if you approach her, she's no pushover."

"I know, I plan on letting her wear herself out before I even try to get close. It looks like she didn't bring any stabilizers with her, so the Everfree's tossed her around. She may have flown through some Distortion Pollen too."

"Got it. Tracking your position now. I'll see about contacting someone who she'll talk to."

The changeling nodded, chuckling as the pegasus began pacing and her emotions spiraled into panic even more.
"I copy. If she starts to panic too much, should I keep her here? If she leaves the dead zone, she could end up anywhere."

"If you can do so without her attacking you, sure. No disguises though. I think that would be counterproductive at this point. Pretty sure she's out here looking for us."

"Looking for Prince Charming, I bet," the changeling said with a grin. "I'll watch her. Don't take too long."







"-so bad, this doesn't make sense. I know its the Everfree but how does a tree move? How do mountains move, for that matter? Where the buck did that lake come from? What, why is this, I don't remember ever having so much trouble before!"

She’d made two more laps of the crater and almost predictably the landmarks were once more different, as if every time you looked away the forest changed! But-

She whipped around as the sound of somepony gasping for breath reached her ears only to see a carbon copy of herself sprawled on the ground. It was obviously a changeling, but why would they take her form?
“Are you making fun of me? Do you think I’m dumb?”

The changeling, rolling onto its side and sucking wind as it waved her off, managed to rasp our a negative.
“Couldn’t, keep up. Needed faster, stronger wings. Bug wings, not cutting it.”

Her scowl deepened. It wasn’t even bothering to hide.

“If, you leave the crater, you’ll warpah, again. Was, waiting for them to send, someone but, didn’t want to, lose you.”

“Waiting for who? Did you call your boss? Is Chrysalis behind this?”

“Fuck that noise. That changeling couldn’t, feed her hive if you told her how to more efficiently feed seventeen times. Which we have. Oh god, I think I pulled something. I didn’t know I could hurt muscles I don’t have.”

The Pegasus looked at the recovering drone with a mix of pity and distrust. She’d pulled enough muscles to know the pain, but that still didn’t explain its presence.

As if sending her thoughts, (actually, maybe she did?  Wasn’t that how changelings worked?) the drone dropped Dash’s form before wincing as her clear wings went into spasms. Pulling a canteen from her pack she took several deep gulps before speaking.

“Everfree warps travelers if they’re not anchored. There are also plants which will make you hallucinate, twisting your vision by either reversing it or twisting things into shapes they don't actually have. This place has been magically inert for longer than I can remember and they list it as a safe recall location because you can walk around without getting warped here. Second you cross that tree line though, it’s random chance where you’ll end up.”
“Boss is likely already contacting someone to pick you up, either the princesses or, if your lucky, Pinkie. Fair warning though, I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes.”

“Why not?”

“Because the Wonderbolts are part of the Equestrian Guard, and guards are supposed to follow the rules set before them. I know you're not officially a guardsmare, but there are gonna be some pissed off ponies."

Before Rainbow could retort a loud pop and a bright flash signaled the arrival of somepony via teleport. Dash whipped her head to look, her jaw dropping at seeing Princess Luna scowling at her with what looked like bags under her eyes.

“I’m certain you have a perfectly wondrous explanation, Rainbow Dash, but I suggest you save it for my sister. She is currently in a most important diplomatic meeting and Twilight is taking care of a zoning issue in Detrot. That means that I was woken up after finally falling asleep after three days of work.”

Looking at the changeling, Luna’s scowl became a sinister smile.
“Actually, I believe I have a much better idea. She wants in, so she’ll get in. I want you to put her full time in the Lightning Response team. Basic training and two weeks active duty. I’ll notify the proper ponies, just let Wind Scythe know. He’ll get her set up.”

Without further comment the princess disappeared, likely to collapse in her bed again. That was the princess, right? She turned to the changeling only to see it staring in surprise at the location the princess had just occupied.

“Ouch" It said with a wince. It turned, meeting her gaze with what she could only describe as terrified sympathy.
“I am so, so sorry.”



<-(0)->


“I’m sorry it took so long,” Twilight said to her griffin companion. “Knowing she was fine, none of us could just drop what we were doing and Luna, well...”

“Was pissed. I know,” Wind Scythe chuckled. “We kind of got the gist of it from Amber. She said Luna was about to go nuclear but decided to slow-roast the Pegasus instead. She stopped by the day after just to make sure there wasn’t any trouble and even dropped off orders transferring your friend to the Lightning Rescue team. Including a request that she be put through the full training and transferred to an active team immediately after the training.” 

“The full- so I can’t bring her back yet?”

“She’s got about four more weeks,” Wind replies, gesturing to the track.

Twilight quickly scanned the runners and spotted her friend among them, the rainbow mare soaked with sweat as she ran full sprint with her wings bound to her back.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her break a sweat before, even during her high-speed workouts.”

“Magic, it’s not just for unicorns,” the griffin said with a smile. “During these runs we turn on an anti-magic field, so everyone is running on pure muscle strength. It hurts, but it means when you run in magic-saturated environments you’re a lot stronger. It also stops our people from getting crushed by anti-magic zones. Dragons in particular need this kind of training, otherwise they’ll collapse under the weight of their scales and armor.”
Stepping ahead, the griffin stood on his back legs, cupping his claws around his beak.
“Hey Jim, I need to borrow your new toy!”

The minotaur in the middle of the field, wearing full plate armor likely weighed a ton, looked towards them before rolling his eyes.
“Hair-dye, get over here. You’re in luck, you get to breath for a few minutes. I’ll take it out of you later.”

“She doesn’t-“

“He knows, Twilight. If you lose your cool at petty nicknames and insults, god help us if you end up in an actual fight. It’s part of the toughness training.”
Sitting straighter as the raggedly breathing mare approached, he gestured for Twilight to speak.

“Rainbow, I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner. If I had come instead of Luna...”

“It’s, no big, egghead.” The Pegasus wheezed. “This is, the best training, I’ve ever had. Bet I, could blow any record, away after this.”

Twilight blinked, looking closer. The mare had always been kind of thin and wire-y, but now there were signs of muscle just under the fur. Nothing too noticeable, but it was certainly a lot more muscle definition than any Pegasus she’d seen before. Well, aside from that pegasus in Ponyville, but he was...different.
“Here I thought it would be a punishment.”

“Punishment?” Dash scoffed? “I do stuff like this without getting paid. I love this kind of stuff. Live for it. They’ve already had us do flight drills and my new times are great!”

Twilight looked to the minotaur in the middle of the field, still shouting various insults at the runners, before turning back to her friend.
“I’m sorry you felt left out, Dash. I was trying to find a way to tell the rest of you without breaking any of the rules but there are a lot, and the only real thing I've come up with is The Elements. Technically we’re still connected to them so we may need to know about this place but I’ve not had a chance to talk it over with the other princesses yet. Maybe next week I can-“

Dash held up a hoof.
“I’m fine, Twilight. I was worried at first, mostly because I wasn’t even sure if it was the real Luna I was seeing and the break in a few weeks ago, but things have kind of...I bucked up. I joined the Wonderbolts, which are kind of an extension of the REAF, and that means I should have...followed the rules. Even if I felt like it was slowing me down. They have a ton of regulations here, but most of the time they go over why the rules were created, sometimes in, eh, gory detail. After-photos have a stronger impact than a cranky stallion telling you not to fly near magic-cancelling wards."

"After-photos?"

Wind Scythe nodded.
"We have pictures of the injuries incurred either before a rule was implemented, or of injuries incurred by those who broke them. Sometimes it's cuts, burns, broken bones, other times we're recording a corpse. Some things are dangerous, make no mistake. We do our best to curb the dangers with either safeties or rules, but a rule is only as effective as how well known it is, or in some cases, how respected it is. I mean, we have rules about teleporting in public areas but some people still do it. Some get fines, some get away with it. No matter how illegal you make something though, its going to happen. So we do our best to dissuade Darwin Award contestants."

"Oh my gosh! Twilight, have you seen that! They have entire books about weird ways people have killed themselves! An entire library shelf!" Rainbow Dash shouted, burying her face in her hooves.

"That's terrible!"

"No, it's brilliant! I mean I thought it was horrible, but Flynn got me one and I started reading it...Twi, one of these guys killed themselves by shoving a bottle of alcohol up his butt. I mean I find being drunk just as fun as the next mare but some of these guys..."

"Ah, I remember hearing about that one," Wind Scythe chuckled. "The body cant reject the booze and it goes straight into the blood because of how the colon works. I don't think he was the only one to do it either. People can be very smart, but they can also be pretty dumb. It's not just us humans either, princess. I've seen some dumb ponies, some of them were even awarded honorary Darwins."

"You put Equestrians into your book." Twilight deadpanned.

"With Celestia's permission of course. Let's see...Bright Burst. Was setting up a firework display and decided to tie a ton of fireworks to her barrel and was flying during a holiday. Decided to cut through a designated firework area, a spark hit her and well..."

"No more pegasus," Rainbow said, shaking her head. "I've flown close to those areas, but even I knew enough to not cross that line even if I would have saved a few seconds. Saw a few pegasi that needed surgeries to fix their eyes or patch up burns and cuts from the explosions they subjected themselves to and that only emphasized the danger. To tie tons of explosives to yourself and fly through a hot-zone?"

"Well I'm glad to know you're doing well, Rainbow. Everypony was asking about you, but all I could say was that you were transferred to another detachment after an incident and you'd be back in a few weeks. Pinkie said she'll see you during her visit next week, as there's apparently something going on then that she's hosting."

"The Shin-dig," the griffon answered. "Actually, you're free to go there as well, now. It's something a bunch of the longer-lived individuals set up several hundred years ago. A party where they all get together and just have fun. Security is tight, and there are a few well-armed alicorns and dragons ready to stop any fights, but it's not had any serious issues since...well, let's just say alicorns and changeling royals don't drink without inhibitors anymore."

Twilight nodded before stepping closer to the rainbow pegasus and pulling her into a hug. A sweaty hug that she sort of regretted.
"I'll let the others know you're fine. I'll see what I can do about letting the rest of the girls in on this too, in case something comes up."

"Right. I'll see ya later, Twilight. I've got another three laps-"

"Six, you feather duster, seven if you don't get moving in the next five seconds!"

Dash winced.
"Anyway I'll catch up to you later. I'm told the day after the training is a celebration so Hopefully I'll see you girls there."

Twilight watched her friend go, taking special note of the determined grin the pegasus was shooting the minotaur even as he slung various insults and threats her way. It was odd, but it didn't seem to bother Rainbow so she'd leave the pegasus to her punishment. If one could even call it that.
Turning to her companion and guide, she asked her next question.
"So what else can you tell me about this 'Shin-dig?'"