//------------------------------// // Parcels and Ponies // Story: A Perfect Postpony Pair // by Quirky Craft //------------------------------// What is that pony's problem?! Lance wondered as he went about his daily mail route. It had been a week since he had started his new job at the mail office and things weren't looking good. The whacko pony known as Pete seemed to find every tiny little thing to complain about. Seldom a day passed without Lance being made fun of, or yelled at, or both. It's like he's trying to make me dislike him. What did I ever do to him? Is he always like this? Also, Penny was right; the WiFi was terrible. Lance sighed as he pushed a letter through the window of a house (since there was no visible mail slot or mailbox) . And there I was thinking he liked me... "Argh!" BANG "Argh!" BANG "Argh!" BANG Penny grumbled at the strange noises coming from Pete's office. He was disrupting her favourite Scooby Doo episode. Meanwhile, inside the stuffy room, Pete was hurling his head against his desk, each bang accompanied with a frustrated scrowl. This was like a scream and a growl...but better. "Could you stop?" said Mirror-Pete, who had taken temporary residence in the reflection of a coffee puddle which had invaded a good portion of the paper-filled desk. "You're gonna get a concussion." "See if I care." Mirror-Pete facehoofed. Regular Pete ignored him. Both Petes were startled by a brisk knock at the office door. "Come in," Pete half-groaned. The door rattled as whoever was outside of it tried to force it open. When the ancient hinges wouldn't give way, Pete finally got up and went over to the door. "WHAT?!" Pete demanded, hurling the door open angrily, only to find himself face-to-face with Lance. The ivory stallion backed away, a startled expression all over his face. Pete sighed, trying to soften his tone, "What do you want?" "I just wanted to tell you I'd finished my work for the day," Lance said, backing up a bit. "So?" "So...goodbye I guess, till tomorrow that is," Lance was already halfway out the door and beginning to turn away. Seeing him leave, Pete's heart began to ache and do that thing which felt like it was dancing to Gangham Style inside his chest. "Wait!" Lance turned back around and took a few steps forward. His ears were turned slightly back in a confused expression. "Yes?" "I...uhh," Pete looked desperately around the room, trying to find something for the ivory-coloured pony to do. His eyes rested on a massive parcel near the doorway, which he had earlier moved there to prepare for delivery. "I..eh...needed Penny to move that box out to the back storage closet, but she can't really do it herself." "So you want me to help?" "Exactly." Pete tried to give Lance an encouraging smile, but it came out as a grimace. Lance hesitated. "I need to pick up my sister from school," he said, hooves tapping a nervous pattern in the dusty floorboards. "It'll only take a few seconds," Pete couldn't stop himself from raising his voice, "And we really need your help. You sister can take care of herself." Lance took a very deep breath, fighting the urge not to buck his boss in the face. He moved over to the bulky package, giving it an experimental nudge. It didn't move. Darn. While Lance was doing that, Pete went on out of the room to call Penny. There was no way Lance could be expected to move the thing on his own. The thought occurred to him that he could help out the handsome stallion, but that'd mean the job would be done faster and he wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to Lance for the day yet. "You're being a selfish jerk," Mirror-Pete tried to reason from the shiny surface of the coffee machine Pete had just passed. Pete ignored him cos he knew Mirror-Pete was right. "Penny?!" he called out. His eyes rested on the old mare behind the counter, engrossed in the climax of the Scooby Doo episode she was watching. "Get over here right now you lazy pony! There's a parcel to move!" Penny gave him a rude sign, then began to slowly make her way to the office, deliberately stopping to stare at every single uninteresting object she walked past; the pen on the desk, the coffee machine, the lampshade, even the two-week-old fly corpse on the windowsill. After what seemed like an age, she finally made it to where Lance was attempting to slide the parcel across the floor and towards the closet. Upon seeing the old pony, Lance smiled and made room for her. Together, after much heaving, stumbling and Penny's cursing, they eventually made it to the supply closet and hefted the heavy package inside. But 'eventually' was still too soon for Pete. As Lance wiped the sweat off his forehead with his front hoof, he practically ran over to the door. Pete managed to stand in front of him just in time, catching Lance off guard. The earth pony banged right into Pete's face, causing both stallions to knock back from each other and rub their foreheads in pain. "Excuse me," Lance said quietly after he had recovered, not even trying to keep the anger out of his voice, "I did your job. Now let me get to my sister." "I..." said Pete, "I was wondering if you wanted to get some tea with me?" Lance shook his head in disbelief, "You order me around, make me stay after hours when you know I need to go get my sister, and now you want me to get tea with you?!" Pete looked at the ground. "Never mind, forget it." He stepped gingerly out of the way. Lance pushed past him without another word and sped out of the mail office. As soon as the ivory coloured pony was out of sight, Pete hung his head in shame. These days, even thinking about Lance made his stomach twist and turn into little knots. He'd tried so hard to push him away, but still whenever he saw the guy he was drawn to him, desperate to be in his company, starved for his love. "Pathetic," Pete mumbled to himself. All his insides felt like a withered dandelion, pulled out from the ground and thrown under the bushes to rot away. Pete wished he could literally rot away right then and there. Pete spent a couple minutes just sitting there, cursing his very existence. Penny waddled back to her Scooby Doo. Pete tried to trip her up on the way out but failed. He had never felt so worthless. After a few more moments of wishing he could turn into gloop and ooze between the floorboards of the room never to be seen again, Pete walked over to the supply closet, trying to pull himself together. He got hold of the package he had got Lance to move there for absolutely no reason other than to keep him here, and with much effort managed to drag it back to where it had originally been. "Pathetic."